《Two and Half Men - Reborn as Jake Harper》
Chapter 1: Pilot Episode
Chapter 1 - Pilot Episode
I opened my eyes slowly, squinting against the gentle morning sunlight that streamed through the slightly parted curtains. Something felt odd¡ªdifferent, yet strangely familiar. My limbs were lighter, my surroundings brighter. The ceiling was covered with glow-in-the-dark stars, and posters of superheroes stared down from the walls.
This wasn''t my room.
Sitting up abruptly, my heart raced as confusion flooded through me. I swung my legs off the bed, surprised by how short they seemed. Standing, I quickly made my way to the mirror hanging on the bedroom door. A startled, round-cheeked child stared back at me.
It took a moment before realization hit.
"No way," I whispered, startled by the high pitch of my voice. The face staring back at me belonged to Jake Harper. Panic swelled briefly as fragmented memories rushed back¡ªI was Michael, an engineer working in the financial sector. Or at least, I used to be, until the blinding headlights, the screeching tires, and the crushing darkness took everything away.
Yet now, impossibly, I found myself in the body of Jake Harper, a boy from a television si. A strange mix of excitement and fear churned inside me. Why me? And more importantly, how?
A knock at the door interrupted my thoughts. "Jake, breakfast! Hurry up," Judith called, her voice firm yet caring.
"Coming, Mom," I responded automatically, still unsettled by the unfamiliar childish voice.
I made my way to the kitchen, my movements cautious yet increasingly natural. Judith was setting the table, her expression distracted but softening slightly when she saw me.
"Good morning," she said gently. "Did you sleep well? You seem a bit out of it."
"Just tired," I answered, forcing a small smile. "Maybe I didn''t sleep enough."
She nodded sympathetically. "Well, eat up. We need to leave soon. Your dad''s meeting us at your uncle Charlie''s."
I sat quietly, munching on toast and cereal without tasting anything, thoughts spinning around this bizarre new reality. n Harper was now my father, and Charlie Harper¡ªinfamous for his carefree lifestyle¡ªwas my uncle. The notion was surreal. What would living this life truly mean?
"Jake, you''re very quiet," Judith noted, looking closely at me with genuine concern. "Is something bothering you?"
I hesitated, caught off guard by the sincerity in her eyes. "Not really," I finally said. "I''m just thinking about stuff."
"Stuff?" Judith echoed gently, raising an eyebrow curiously.
"Just life," I responded vaguely, offering another reassuring smile.
Judith smiled warmly. "Finish up your breakfast, honey. We should head out soon."
After breakfast, Judith watched me carefully as she gathered her purse and keys. "Ready to go?"
"Yeah," I said, standing slowly. Her reassuring gaze steadied my nerves, making the bizarre morning seem slightly more manageable.
The drive to Charlie''s Malibu home was quiet, but not ufortable. Judith asionally nced at me, checking to see if I was okay. The scenic coastal route was breathtaking, and it gave me time to think and adjust to the absurdity of my new existence. Being Jake Harper might not be so bad after all.
When we finally arrived, Judith parked carefully and took a deep breath, staring thoughtfully at Charlie''s beachfront home. "I really hope this arrangement works out," she murmured quietly, more to herself than to me.
"It''ll be okay," I replied instinctively, surprising myself with the genuine confidence in my voice.
She smiled gently, squeezed my shoulder affectionately, and led me toward the door. Judith knocked firmly, and within moments n appeared, looking flustered and slightly anxious as usual.
"Hey, Judith. Hey, son," n greeted nervously, stepping aside quickly. "Come in. Charlie''s still asleep."
Judith entered hesitantly, her eyes scanning the interior critically. "n, are you absolutely sure about this? You and Charlie living together?"
n sighed, rubbing his forehead wearily. "Judith, it''s going to be fine. Charlie''s a good guy underneath it all. And besides, it''s only temporary."
While they continued discussing schedules and parenting logistics, I quietly slipped away, heading upstairs toward Charlie''s bedroom. Each step felt heavier than thest, my heart racing with anticipation and uncertainty.
I knocked softly at first, then louder when there was no response. Eventually, I cautiously opened the door. Charliey sprawled across the bed, snoring gently, oblivious to the world.
"Uncle Charlie?" I called out hesitantly. When he didn''t respond, I shook him lightly. "Uncle Charlie!"
Charlie stirred groggily, cracking open an eye with obvious annoyance. "Jake? What the hell are you doing here?"
"Mom brought me," I replied calmly, trying not tough at his confused expression. "And you shouldn''t say ''hell.'' Mom says every swear word costs you a dor."
Charlie stared at me nkly before smirking, reaching for his wallet. He handed me a twenty-dor bill with exaggerated resignation. "Consider this prepaid."
I grinned broadly, pocketing the money. "Thanks, Uncle Charlie."
Charlie finally got up, stretchingzily. "Let''s head downstairs before your parents escte their friendly negotiations into an all-out war."
We descended the stairs together, finding n and Judith still engaged in tense conversation. Charlie quietly guided me outside onto the deck, settling into chairs overlooking the beach. A gentle ocean breeze provided a calming backdrop to my chaotic thoughts.
After a brief,fortable silence, I spoke up hesitantly. "Mom and Dad are getting divorced, Uncle Charlie."
Charlie sighed dramatically, leaning back in his chair. "You''re lucky, Jake. When I was your age, I could only dream about my parents splitting up."
I looked at him skeptically. "But your mom is my grandma. She says you''re a bitter disappointment."
Charlie chuckled, taking a casual sip of his beer. "Yeah, that sounds about right."
Despite everything¡ªthe confusion, the strange new life¡ªI found myself smiling genuinely. Perhaps being Jake Harper wasn''t such a bad thing. With a deep breath, I leaned back, epting the warmth of the sun and thefort of this strange yet oddly familiar family.
Chapter 2: Charlie’s House
Chapter 2 - Charlie''s House
Judith lingered briefly at the doorway, her eyes filled with a blend of concern and determination. She reached out to gently touch my shoulder, offering a reassuring squeeze.
"Remember, Jake, call me if you need anything. I''ll just be in Vegas with your Aunt Liz. Try to enjoy yourself here," she said softly, a hint of anxiety in her voice.
"I will, Mom," I replied, managing a convincing smile. "Have fun in Vegas."
She smiled back faintly, gave a quick nod to n and Charlie, and then walked toward her car. I watched as she drove away, feeling a strange mix of freedom and apprehension.
Charlie nced at me and smirked lightly. "Come on, Jake. Let''s go shopping. You''re gonna need some real food around here."
"Shopping?" I asked, surprised but intrigued.
Charlie shrugged casually. "Yeah, food shopping. What, did you think groceries just magically appear in the fridge?"
Iughed slightly, following him out to his car. n waved goodbye from the door, clearly relieved to have a moment alone.
At the grocery store, we moved through the aisles leisurely, picking up snacks, cereal, and frozen pizzas. Charlie seemed entirely rxed, making casual conversation and asionally throwing random treats into the cart.
As we passed through the cereal aisle, Charlie picked up a box of Maple Loops and smirked at me. "You know, I once wrote a jingle for this cereal."
"No way! Mom always hated it, but Dad used to hum it all the time," I replied, grinning enthusiastically.
Charlie chuckled, genuinely amused. "Good taste runs in the family."
I nudged him yfully. "Come on, sing the Maple Loops song again."
Charlie cleared his throat dramatically and began to sing loudly and off-key. "It''s got oats and corn and wheat, It''s sweetest breakfast treat, It''s Maple, Maple, maplelicious!"
Laughing, I joined in enthusiastically, attracting amused looks from other shoppers. One woman stopped, smiling warmly at us. "Aw, that''s so sweet! You two look adorable singing together. You must be very proud of your son."
Charlie gave a charming smile but quickly corrected her. "Actually, he''s my nephew."
"Oh! Well, you''re wonderful together," she said kindly, slightly embarrassed but still smiling warmly as she continued shopping.
Once she was out of earshot, Charlie chuckled softly, ncing down at me. "You know, Jake, you''re even better than a dog."
Iughed, genuinely enjoying the simple moment we shared. After finishing our shopping, we headed back to Charlie''s beach house, the trunk full of groceries.
As we entered, n greeted us from the kitchen. "Hey guys, Rose stopped by while you were gone."
Charlie immediately looked angry. "You let Rose in my house? n, why would you do that?"
n shrugged helplessly. "She said she was your maid."
My mind instantly shed to memories of Rose from the show¡ªquirky, unpredictable, and more than a little crazy. I suppressed a shudder, hoping things wouldn''t get tooplicated too soon.
Meanwhile, Charlie moved toward the kitchen cabs, pulling on the doors with an angry expression. He nced back at n. "She glued my cabs again."
Before n could respond, there was a brisk knock at the front door, followed by the unmistakable sound of heels clicking sharply against the floor. A familiar, authoritative voice echoed through the room.
"Charlie! n! What on earth is going on here?"
Charlie froze, eyes widening. "Oh God, it''s Mom."
Evelyn Harper strode into the kitchen, her expression a mixture of annoyance and bemusement. Her gazended first on Charlie, then n, and finally settled on me. "Jake, darling,e give Grandma a hug."
"Hi, Grandma," I said politely, allowing her perfumed embrace while trying not to appear overwhelmed.
Evelyn stepped back, surveying the scene critically. "Honestly, Charlie, why can''t you keep a clean house? And n, must you always look so... defeated?"
Charlie sighed dramatically. "Nice to see you too, Mom."
n shrugged, resigned. "Hello, Mom."
Evelyn continued, her tone sharp yet refined. "And now this ridiculous divorce. Judith was impossible enough as it was, but now, to see my grandson, I need to make an appointment like I''m visiting the dentist?"
n winced slightly, clearly ufortable. "What divorce, mom? And it''s not that bad."
"Not that bad?" Evelyn echoed incredulously. "Do you hear yourself, n? What is Jake supposed to think, caught in the middle like this?" She turned toward me, her eyes softening slightly. "Jake, if things get too difficult here, you''re always wee to stay with me."
I smiled awkwardly, uncertain how to respond. "Thanks, Grandma."
Evelyn nodded decisively. "Good. At least someone in this family knows how to behave appropriately." With a final sweeping nce at Charlie and n, she adjusted her purse and turned on her heel, walking briskly toward the door. "I''ll expect updates, n. And try to keep the chaos under control."
Once she was gone, Charlie let out a deep breath. "Well, that was fun."
n looked drained but managed a weak smile. "At least she''s consistent."
We all shared a quietugh, releasing the tension that had filled the room. Maybe life as Jake Harper would never be simple, but at least it promised never to be dull.
Chapter 3: Fuc* off
Chapter 3 - Fuc* off
The next few days passed quickly, and soon it was time for me to officially start splitting my time between Mom''s ce and Uncle Charlie''s beach house. n seemed both nervous and excited about the new arrangement, while Charlie appearedrgely indifferent, though I suspected he secretly enjoyed having us around¡ªor at least, liked having me around.
On my first official weekend at Charlie''s, n was already in nning mode. He paced around the living room, holding a colorful brochure. "Jake, what do you say we go to Disnend tomorrow? It''ll be fun."
I hesitated, ncing toward Charlie, who was lounging on the sofa, clearly uninterested in theme parks. "Actually, Dad, maybe we can do Disnend another time? I''m kind of tired and just feel like hanging around the house."
n''s face briefly fell before he quickly masked it with a forced smile. "Oh, sure, that''s fine. Maybe it''s a good day to catch up on some errands anyway. I''ll just take care of some stuff I''ve been meaning to get done."
"Sounds good, Dad," I replied, relieved at his quick eptance. n patted my shoulder gently before grabbing his keys and heading out, leaving Charlie and me alone in the peaceful silence of the house.
Charlie nced over at me, a grin spreading across his face. "Good call, kid. The yoffs are on today¡ªDolphins versus Jaguars."
I smiled, rxing into the couch. "Nice!" The NFL had been a big part of my past life, and it felt reassuringly familiar.
Charlie flipped on the television, settlingfortably into his chair as the pre-game show began. "You know, Jake, half the fun of watching sports is betting on them."
I raised an eyebrow, feigning innocence. "Really? Like, actual money?"
Charlie smirked mischievously. "Of course actual money. What else would we use¡ªcookies?"
I chuckled softly, my mind racing. I vividly remembered this particr yoff season. The semifinals would eventually see Jaguars versus Titans and Rams versus Tampa Bay. I couldn''t recall every exact score, but I distinctly remembered the Jaguars utterly dominating the Dolphins in the quarter-finals and the Rams winning the finals against the Titans, 23-16, with Kurt Warner as MVP.
"So, who are you betting on, Uncle Charlie?"
"I''m putting some money on the Jaguars."
"Great! I''ve got a hundred bucks here," I said confidently, pulling out the money I''d earned from Charlie''s curse jar and the poker night where I''d destroyed Charlie''s friends with my unexpected skill. "But bet that the Jaguars win by at least 50 points."
"Fifty points?" Charlie asked incredulously. "Do you even know how football works, kid?"
"Yeah, I know, but imagine the odds we''ll get," I said with a sly grin.
Charlie rolled his eyes, reluctantly picking up the phone. "Alright, smartass, but don''te crying to meter." After cing the call, he shook his head in disbelief. "The odds are 12-to-1. You''ll win twelve hundred bucks if you pull off this miracle."
"Did you bet too?" I asked curiously.
"Just a hundred," he said with a smirk. "I don''t need you smugly rubbing it in if, by some miracle, you''re right."
We settled in as the game kicked off, and immediately it was clear this game would be a blowout. By the end of the first quarter, the Jaguars were already ahead 24-0. Charlie nced over at me, his expression shifting from disbelief to genuine amazement.
When the final whistle blew, the Jaguars had indeed dominated, winning by more than fifty points. Charlie and I leaped up, dancing and screaming in triumph.
"A thousand bucks! Woohoo!" I shouted, barely believing our luck.
"Twelve hundred, actually!" Charlie corrected gleefully. He was already halfway through another beer, celebrating enthusiastically.
"And there''s still another game today," Charlie added, turning toward me with excitement. "Who should we bet on next, genius?"
I paused, recalling the details. Tampa Bay would narrowly edge out Washington by exactly one point. "Put it all on Tampa Bay winning by exactly one point," I said confidently.
"Everything? A one-point margin exactly? Are you serious?" Charlie asked incredulously, though a wide grin spread across his face. "Alright, why not?"
He picked up the phone again, clearly influenced by alcohol-fueled confidence. "Make it five grand¡ªTampa Bay, one-point margin."
"Five grand?" I echoed in disbelief. "You increased the bet?"
"Go big or go home, Jake," Charlie said with a yful wink.
The game began, and tension rose with every y. Tampa Bay and Washington fought fiercely, keeping the score agonizingly close. By the final quarter, my heart was pounding so hard I could barely sit still.
"Come on, just one more touchdown and the extra point," Charlie muttered anxiously.
With mere seconds remaining, Tampa Bay drove forward, scoring the crucial touchdown. Silence filled the room as we waited anxiously for the kick. When the ball sailed perfectly through the goalposts, Charlie and I exploded in cheers.
"Yes! Yes! We did it!" Charlie screamed, dancing around the room like a delighted child.
"What''s going on here?" n asked, standing bewildered in the doorway, grocery bags still in hand.
Charlie paused just long enough to grin widely. "Your son just made the bets of a lifetime, n!"
n''s eyes narrowed, ncing from Charlie to me. "Wait¡ªyou''re gambling with Jake now?" he asked angrily
"Rx, Dad," I interjected quickly, trying to calm the situation. "We just won big."
n set down the bags, clearly annoyed but also curious. "Define ''big.''"
Charlie looked at n, unable to contain himself. "Forty grand, n. Your kid just won us forty grand!"
n''s eyes went wide, his jaw dropping in shock. "Forty thousand dors?!"
n hesitated, torn between fatherly responsibility and disbelief. Eventually, he shook his head with a resigned smile. "Jake, maybe you could lend me some money?" asked him
"Fuc* off, dad!" I said astonished by his shameless
"Yeah, fu*k off n!!"pleted Uncle Charlie
Chapter 4: Three Men and a Jackpot
Chapter 4 - Three Men and a Jackpot
Sunday morning arrived bright and clear, filling Charlie''s beach house with a calm,zy atmosphere. After yesterday''s big wins, spirits were high. n, however, looked a bit restless, sipping his coffee nervously as he nced between Charlie and me.
"Two more yoff games today," Charlie announced enthusiastically, settling onto the sofa with a fresh cup of coffee. "We''ve got Vikings versus Rams and Titans versus Colts. Any magical predictions today, Jake?"
I hesitated slightly, trying to recall details from my previous life''s memories. Unlike yesterday''s games, today''s matchups hadn''t stood out particrly clearly in my mind. No special blowouts or memorable ys came to me, only the vague knowledge that the Rams and Titans would advance.
"Nothing exact," I admitted honestly, "but I''m pretty confident the Rams and Titans will both win."
Charlie raised an eyebrow. "Pretty confident? That''s it? No magical scores this time?"
I shook my head apologetically. "humm, put that Viking and Rams will have more than 70 points in total."
Charlie scratched his chin thoughtfully. "Hmm. That will give us great odds."
n looked up sharply, setting his mug down with a loud clink. "Wait, you''re not seriously considering another big bet, are you?"
Charlie shrugged casually. "Why not? We''re ying with house money now, n."
n shook his head firmly. "Forty grand isn''t house money. It''s a lot of money."
I leaned forward, addressing n directly. "Dad, Uncle Charlie said we''d split the money evenly, right? That means twenty thousand is mine. I''m thinking we take thirty grand from our winnings¡ªfifteen thousand each¡ªand put it on thisbined bet."
n paled visibly. "Thirty thousand dors, Jake? That''s absolutely insane! You can''t just throw away money like that."
I held my ground calmly. "Dad, it''s my money. And I believe it''s a smart bet."
Charlie nodded enthusiastically, backing me up. "Come on, n. Trust the kid''s instincts. He got us this far."
n sighed deeply, clearly torn between caution and the allure of the potential winnings. "What kind of return are we talking about here?"
Charlie grinned mischievously. "We''ll get about eight times our bet. That''s nearly a quarter million dors, n."
n''s eyes widened dramatically, and for a moment, he seemed to lose the ability to speak. "Eight times? Are you serious?"
"Completely serious," Charlie replied, grinning broadly. "Jake hasn''t been wrong yet."
n hesitated, clearly struggling internally. After a long pause, he sighed deeply, rubbing his forehead anxiously. "Fine. If you''re both so convinced... I''ll throw in five thousand of my own."
Charlie looked pleasantly shocked,ughing loudly. "Now that''s the spirit, n! Wee to the dark side."
n groaned softly, a reluctant smile tugging at his lips. "If we lose this, you both owe me big time."
Charlie picked up the phone eagerly, cing ourbined thirty-five thousand dor bet. As he hung up, he shed me an approving smile. "All set, gentlemen. Now we just sit back and enjoy the games."
We spent the afternoon nervously glued to the television, each y carrying enormous weight. The Rams took an early lead, eventually securing a victory. Tension filled the room during the Titans and Colts game, which was far closer than we''d expected.
With mere minutes remaining, the Titans edged ahead with ate touchdown, securing their narrow victory. We leaped up simultaneously, screaming in celebration.
"We did it again!" Charlie shouted, pumping his fists in the air. n stared at the television in stunned disbelief, slowly sinking into his chair.
"I can''t believe this," n whispered, running his hand through his hair. "Did we really just win almost three hundred thousand dors?"
Charlie threw an arm around n''s shoulders,ughing joyfully. "Believe it, n! Jake is officially our golden goose."
n finally cracked a broad, genuine smile, looking over at me with pride mixed with amazement. "Jake, I don''t even know what to say."
I grinned back at both of them, feeling incredibly satisfied. "Don''t worry, Dad. You''re going to get used to winning."
Charlie chuckled warmly. "I could definitely get used to this lifestyle."
Charlie soon popped open a bottle of expensive champagne he''d been saving, pouring generous amounts into three sses (but I didn''t take it). n, initially hesitant, soon found himself swept up in the joyful atmosphere. After a couple of sses, n wasughing freely, his usual stress entirely forgotten.
"Who knew gambling could be this much fun?" n joked, slightly slurring his words, which made Charlieugh even harder.
"See, n, I always told you to rx and trust your instincts," Charlie teased.
n shook his head, smiling widely. "Maybe you''ve been right all along, Charlie."
Eventually, n and Charlie began singing old songs loudly and off-key, their arms thrown around each other''s shoulders. Watching them, I couldn''t help butugh, thoroughly enjoying this unexpected moment of family bonding.
After a while, Charlie dropped onto the sofa beside me, pulling me into a warm, slightly drunken hug. His eyes softened as he grinned at me proudly.
"Jake, you''re the best thing that''s ever happened to us," he said sincerely. "I love you, kid."
I felt warmth spread through me, smiling as I hugged him back. "Love you too, Uncle Charlie."
n stumbled over, joining the embrace. "And don''t forget me! I love you too, son!"
We allughed again, genuinely happy, united by a bond stronger than I''d ever imagined possible
Chapter 5: Back to School
Chapter 5 - Back to School
Monday morning arrived, and Iy awake in bed, still amazed by the events of the weekend. We had won nearly $300,000 in just two days. It felt surreal. Doing some quick mental math, I realized $125,000 was probably just one or two months of Uncle Charlie''s usual ie¡ªgiven his lifestyle and sess as a jingle writer. For Dad, however, $40,000 represented about half a year''s sry¡ªsomething he himself had muttered in shock yesterday.
My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of heavy footsteps and muffled voices downstairs. Curious, I quickly got dressed and wandered into the kitchen. There, standing at the counter and sipping coffee as if she owned the ce, was a woman I instantly recognized¡ªBerta.
She turned to face me, eyeing me up and down appraisingly. "So you''re Jake, huh? Heard a lot about you. I''m Berta, the one who keeps this ce livable."
"Nice to meet you," I replied politely, smiling. I knew exactly who Berta was from watching the show¡ªshe was blunt, tough, and incredibly funny. Meeting her in person felt exciting.
Berta narrowed her eyes slightly as if sizing me up. "You''re way more polite than your uncle. Guess manners skip a generation in the Harper family," she remarked dryly, making her way toward Charlie''s bedroom.
I moved toward the kitchen, intending to grab some breakfast, but before I could start, I overheard my dad''s voice lecturing about not putting peanut butter in the refrigerator. Curious, I headed toward the sound, only to see Berta leaving the room.
"Uncle Charlie," I asked, feigning innocence, "why is Berta leaving?"
Charlie sighed dramatically. "Why? It doesn''t matter, Jake. What matters is she''s gone." He looked at n with exaggerated despair. "And we''re going to die."
n rolled his eyes, clearly irritated but slightly amused. "Rx, Charlie. We''ll manage... somehow."
"You don''t understand, n," Charlie protested dramatically. "Berta was the only thing keeping us from descending into total chaos."
I chuckled softly at the exchange. Though Charlie was exaggerating, I knew Berta''s absence would indeed be felt.
n suddenly nced at the clock. "Jake, hurry up¡ªit''s your first day back at school. You don''t want to bete."
I sighed quietly, grabbing my backpack from the living room. The excitement of the weekend quickly faded into the mundane reality of sixth grade. As n drove me to school, I stared out the window, my mind wandering. Repeating elementary school, knowing everything I did from my past life, seemed tedious. Should I show my intelligence, skip some grades, and save myself from boredom?
"You okay, Jake?" n asked, noticing my silence.
"Yeah, Dad," I replied, forcing a smile. "Just thinking about school."
He nodded sympathetically. "I know it''s not as exciting as winning money with Charlie, but it''s important."
"I know," I replied, deciding to take things slow for now. Perhaps blending in was the safest option.
n pulled up to the school entrance, and I stepped out, waving goodbye. Walking toward the familiar building, I felt strangely calm. Maybe school would be bearable after all¡ªespecially knowing I had an entirely new life waiting outside these ssroom walls.
My optimism, however, quickly faded as I entered the ssroom and sat through the first lessons of the day. Basic math problems, simple readingprehension, and geography questions about state capitals left me astonished. I had forgotten just how rudimentary sixth-grade material was.
"This is going to be hell," I murmured softly to myself, staring at the board while my ssmates enthusiastically raised their hands to answer basic questions. Having to pretend interest and coexist daily with ten-year-olds seemed daunting and exhausting.
Still, I considered my options carefully. Maybe revealing my full intelligence right away would make things weird. Perhaps slowly showing a bit more skill would be smarter. Yet, as I nced at the clock again, counting down the hours left in the day, I firmly decided one thing: by the end of sixth grade, I would leap ahead to high school¡ªskipping two years at once.
After what felt like an eternity, the school day ended, and I saw Mom waiting by her car to pick me up. As I climbed into the passenger seat, she greeted me with a warm smile. "Hey, honey. How was your first day back?"
I sighed softly. "It was okay, I guess. Pretty easy stuff."
Judith nced at me thoughtfully as she drove. "Is everything alright, Jake? You seem a little quiet."
"I''m fine," I assured her gently, pausing for a moment before asking, "Are you okay, Mom? You seem tired."
She smiled softly, clearly touched by my concern. "I''m fine, sweetheart. Just a busy day. But thank you for asking."
We drove infortable silence for a minute, then Judith broke the quiet. "I heard from your dad about your weekend with Charlie. Seems like you had a good time."
I smiled faintly, nodding. "Yeah, it was fun. Uncle Charlie''s ce is pretty cool."
Judith sighed lightly, a small but genuine smile appearing on her face. "I''m d you''re getting along with him. I know this situation is hard, but I want you to have good rtionships with your family."
"Thanks, Mom," I replied sincerely. "I think things are going to be okay."
She reached over and gently squeezed my hand. "Me too, Jake. I think everything will work out."
I rxed into my seat, watching the familiar neighborhood drift by as we headed home.
Chapter 6: Soccer, Suffering, and Single Moms
Chapter 6 - Ser, Suffering, and Single Moms
The weekend finally arrived again, bringing with it an early Saturday morning ser game. I stared at my ceiling, questioning whether attending the game was even worth it. The enthusiasm I once had for these simple childhood activities had drastically faded, reced by a dread of needs to y with a bunch of twelve years old kids.
With a heavy sigh, I pulled myself out of bed, trudging slowly into the kitchen, where n was already sipping his coffee and flipping through the newspaper. He looked up with his usual cheerful smile, oblivious to my internal struggle.
"Morning, Jake! Ready for your ser game?"
I hesitated briefly, ncing at the floor. "Dad, do I really need to go?"
n looked surprised, concern creasing his forehead. "What do you mean? You love ser. Are you feeling okay?"
I forced a casual shrug, trying not to worry him. "Yeah, I''m fine. Just not feeling as excited about it as before."
n set the newspaper down, giving me his full attention. "Jake, is something bothering you? You used to look forward to these games."
"Nothing''s wrong, Dad," I assured him quickly, guilt tugging at me for dampening his enthusiasm. "I guess I''m just growing out of it."
n nodded slowly, clearly confused but trying to be supportive. "Well, growing up is normal, Jake, but let''s give it a shot today. Who knows¡ªyou might still enjoy it."
I nodded reluctantly, not wanting to disappoint him further. "Okay, I''ll go get ready."
As n went back to reading his paper, I wandered into the living room, where Uncle Charlie was sprawled on the couch, groaning dramatically with a pillow covering his face. Clearly, he was nursing a significant hangover fromst night''s activities.
A mischievous thought crept into my mind¡ªif I had to endure this sixth-grade ser match, maybe someone else should share the misery.
"Hey, Uncle Charlie," I said loudly, tapping his shoulder.
Charlie groaned louder but didn''t move the pillow. "Jake, unless the house is on fire, please let me die peacefully."
"You promised you''de to my ser game," I reminded him cheerfully, grinning at his obvious difort.
Charlie slowly lifted the pillow from his face, squinting at me painfully. "Did I really say that?"
"Yup," I replied, my smile widening. "And as you always say, a Harper honors his word."
"When did I even said that?!" than he sighed dramatically, rubbing his temples with exaggerated agony. "Alright, kid. Just give me ten minutes to feel human again."
"Thanks, Uncle Charlie," I replied brightly, walking away triumphant.
About fifteen minutester, Charlie appeared at the front door, sunsses shielding his eyes and arge bottle of aspirin in his hand. n looked on with amusement as Charlie shuffled toward the car, clearly regretting his promise.
"This is cruel and unusual punishment, Jake," Charlie muttered as he climbed into the car. "You do realize this counts as child cruelty toward your uncle, right?"
Iughed softly, enjoying the moment. "Come on, Uncle Charlie, there''ll be single moms at the field," I smirked.
He paused thoughtfully, weighing his hangover against the possibility of flirtation. Finally, he sighed deeply. "Fine, you win."
The ser game turned out to be predictably simple. Facing a bunch of ten-year-olds wasn''t exactly challenging with my adult mindset and coordination. I effortlessly scored goal after goal, steering our team toward a decisive victory. The other kids cheered, their joy contagious despite my initialck of excitement. For the first time I was the best in a sport game (but will not take long to me be average again)
Returning home, n was beaming, enthusiastically recounting every goal I had scored. Charlie, now slightly more sober, offered a sarcastic smirk.
"Hey, n," Charlie remarked dryly as we pulled into the driveway, "I thought your whole thing was about participation and not keeping score?"
nughed, waving him off dismissively. "Screw that! My son won the game!"
Charlie chuckled, shaking his head in mock disbelief. "Fantastic consistency in your parenting, n."
n merely shrugged, proudly ignoring Charlie''s remark. "Well, I can''t help it if my son''s a ser prodigy."
Iughed quietly as we exited the car, feeling oddlyforted by the familiar family banter.
Later that afternoon, the doorbell rang, interrupting the calm atmosphere of the house. n opened the door, and to my surprise, there stood Kate, one of Charlie''s recent romantic interests, apanied by her twelve-year-old son, Ernie. Charlie quickly appeared from the living room, shing his signature charming smile as he greeted Kate warmly.
As Charlie exchanged pleasantries with Kate, he subtly nced toward me, clearly signaling for assistance. Sighing inwardly, I followed his unspoken instruction, pulling him aside discreetly.
"Can''t you just date her normally?" I whispered in frustration. "Why do I have to entertain her son?"
Charlie chuckled softly, clearly amused by my annoyance. "Jake, you''re forgetting something important here. You and Ernie are the same age. You''re still technically a kid. Besides," he added with a sly grin, "consider this payback for dragging me out to your ser game this morning."
I groaned softly, realizing I''d walked right into this trap. Resigned to my fate, I turned toward Ernie, stering a polite, forced smile on my face.
"Hey, Jake!" Ernie greeted me enthusiastically. "You scored a bunch of goals today!"
I nodded, feigning modesty. "Yeah, it wasn''t too difficult."
Ernie grinned,pletely oblivious to myck of excitement. "Wanna y some video games?"
"Sure," I replied reluctantly, following him into the living room.
As Ernie eagerly set up the game console, I nced back over my shoulder, watching Charliefortably chatting with Kate on the couch, clearly enjoying himself. Meanwhile, I prepared myself for another round of childish camaraderie, once again ying the part of a twelve-year-old. At least, I thought wryly, Charlie owed me this time.
Chapter 7: Gambles
Chapter 7 - Gambles
Evening arrived quietly, and I was rxing in the living room, trying to recover from an exhausting day of forced socializing with Ernie. Charlie walked past me, grabbing his keys from the table near the door.
"Don''t wait up, guys," he announced casually, straightening his shirt cor.
n nced up suspiciously from the sofa. "Back to Vegas?"
Charlie smiled smugly, adjusting his cuffs. "Even better. Sherman Oaks. The gateway to Van Nuys."
n raised an eyebrow knowingly. "Kate again? Charlie, you really don''t know what you''re getting into with single mothers."
Charlie shrugged casually, clearly unconcerned. "Rx, n. I can handle myself just fine."
n rolled his eyes, sighing dramatically. "Famousst words."
I looked over at Charlie with mock seriousness. "As long as I don''t have to entertain any more twelve-year-old kids, you''ve got my full support, Uncle Charlie."
Charlie chuckled lightly, shing me an appreciative grin. "Deal, Jake."
n stood up, suddenly remembering something important. "Oh, by the way, I''m going out tonight too."
Charlie stopped abruptly, giving n a curious look. "You? Out? That''s unusual. What''s the asion?"
n cleared his throat, looking slightly embarrassed but excited at the same time. "Well, I volunteered to help Gloria with the ser league newsletter."
"Oh, Gloria¡ªthe one who drives the kid van?" Charlie asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Yeah. Why?" n responded
Charlie and I exchanged knowing nces. I raised an eyebrow at Uncle Charlie, who smirked subtly, trying not tough.
"Nothing," Charlie replied casually. "Have fun."
The next morning, I woke up feeling refreshed. After stretchingzily, I made my way to the kitchen to get some breakfast. As I entered, I immediately noticed n sitting at the table, with dark eyes and a broken nose with some curative in it.
I stopped, staring in disbelief. "Dad? What happened to you?"
n groaned quietly, clearly embarrassed. "I... slipped."
I narrowed my eyes skeptically. "Slipped?"
"Yes, Jake, slipped," he repeated, avoiding eye contact.
At that moment, Charlie entered the kitchen, yawning heavily. He nced briefly at n''s injured face but didn''t say anything about it. Instead, he walked straight to the coffee pot, pointing at it as he turned to n.
"Regr or decaf?" Charlie asked casually.
n sighed. "Regr."
Charlie poured himself a cup of coffee, taking a slow sip. n waited a few moments, clearly irritated. Eventually, unable to contain himself, n snapped, "Aren''t you even the slightest bit curious about what happened?"
Charlie nced at him calmly, sipping his coffee again. "Were you with Gloriast night?"
"Yes, I was."
Charlie nodded slowly, taking another thoughtful sip. "Then I think I can fill in the nks."
I poured myself some orange juice, shaking my head in amusement at the exchange between Charlie and n.
Then I leaned forward, remembering something important. I leaned closer to Charlie and lowered my voice so n wouldn''t overhear.
"Put two hundred thousand on both the Rams and the Titans winning today. Pay style."
Charlie raised an eyebrow, intrigued. "Alright, that the biggest bet I made in my life. That leaves ny grand."
I nced at n, who was still too grumpy and sore to pay attention. Then I whispered, "Put the rest on the Rams winning the Super Bowl. Final score: 23 to 16. But don''t tell Dad."
Charlie gave me a look, half amused and half impressed. "You''re serious?"
I nodded. "Dead serious."
Charlie pulled out his phone and started making the bets. A few minutester, he looked up from the screen with a satisfied grin.
"Okay," he said. "The pay bet¡ªTitans and Rams to win today¡ªcame back at 3.5 to 1. If it hits, we''re talking seven hundred grand."
I nodded, already doing the math in my head.
"And the other one," he continued, still staring at his phone, "the exact final score¡ªRams win 23 to 16¡ªthat one paid out a hundred to one. That''s... insane."
He shook his head in disbelief. "If that miracle happens, we''re adding nine million to the pot."
I smiled faintly. "Good. Let''s make history."
¡ª¡ª¡ª
Byte afternoon, we were all gathered in the living room, snacks on the table, and all eyes glued to the TV. The Titans pulled ahead against the Jaguars and held strong, securing their spot in the final. Charlie pped once, satisfied.
"One down."
Next came the Rams vs. Baneers. It was a tense game, close all the way through. But just like I remembered, the Rams pulled ahead in the final minutes. The house exploded in cheers.
"YES!" Charlie shouted, throwing his arms up. "We did it!"
n blinked in confusion. "Wait, what do you mean ''we''?"
Charlie cleared his throat, shooting me a subtle nce. "Just... sports talk."
n paused halfway to the kitchen, squinting suspiciously. "Wait a minute... You two bet again, didn''t you?"
Charlie and I exchanged a brief look, then Charlie gave a sheepish grin. "Maybe."
n set the chips down on the counter. "Well? How much did we win?"
Charlie leaned back with a proud grin. "Seven hundred grand."
n blinked. "Seven... hundred... thousand dors??!"
I nodded, trying to keep my cool, but I couldn''t help the grin tugging at my lips.
n raised his arms triumphantly. "We''re rich! Again!"
Charlieughed. "That''s more like it."
n grabbed a soda from the fridge and popped it open like it was champagne. "Jake, you''re not just my son¡ªyou''re our lucky charm."
I smiled, then leaned back. "Now it''s time for the final bet."
Charlie looked at me curiously. "You want to go in again?"
I nodded. "Yeah. Let''s put a hundred thousand on the Rams winning the Super Bowl¡ªexact score, 23 to 16."
Charlie whistled low. "You really believe in that score."
"I do," I said confidently. "That''ll leave us with around 268 thousand for me and you, and 63 for Dad."
n looked between us, surprised. "Wait¡ªyou already did the math?"
"Of course," I said casually. "But don''t worry, we''re not putting it all in. We''ve got enough left over to invest, or bet smartter."
Charlie grinned. "Alright, kid. Let''s make more money."
Chapter 8: Game Over, Jackpot In
Chapter 8 - Game Over, Jackpot In
Another week passed, and Sunday morning rolled in like a quiet wave. I made my way into the kitchen, expecting the usual slow Harper routine, and was met with a familiar sight: Charlie, still wearing sunsses indoors, slouched at the counter, nursing a cup of coffee.
n entered next, rubbing his eyes and heading for the toaster. He looked over at Charlie with a smirk. "So, how was the game?"
Charlie let out a groan. "Musician''s softball league is a joke. A bunch of guys trying to catch stuff that isn''t there."
n raised an eyebrow as he popped a bagel into the toaster. "Then why do you keep going?"
Charlie shrugged and sipped his coffee. "There''s an open bar. And they let me pitch."
I walked over, sat at the table, and casually scrolled through a note left on the counter. "Oh, Uncle Charlie¡ªAmy left you a message. She says: ''You''re a big selfish jerk.'' She also wants you to call her back."
Charlie didn''t even flinch. "That don''t happen," he muttered, sipping his coffee with the same calm as if I had told him the weather.
n turned, eyebrows raised. "Amy? Isn''t she the one with the tattoo that says ''freedom'' in Mandarin, but it actually says ''shrimp''?"
"Yup," Charlie replied. "Still not calling."
We allughed lightly, but beneath the rxed energy was something else¡ªa quiet tension. Today was the Super Bowl. n and Charlie walked to the deck.
There was a knock at the door.
I walked over to answer it, and as soon as I opened it, I instantly regretted being the one closest.
"Hi, Grandma," I said as casually as I could.
Without waiting another second, I bolted for the back door. As I passed the deck, I flung it open and shouted, "Gramma''s here! Save yourselves!"
n and Charlie exchanged a brief look of panic.
Momentster, Evelyn stepped into the kitchen, heels clicking sharply on the tile.
"Charlie," she said, voice full of dramatic offense.
Charlie stood slowly, straightening his shirt. "Mom. Wow. You... surprised us. You know, people usually call first."
Evelyn gave him a pointed look. "I figured you wouldn''t pick up anyway."
n stood frozen, then slowly raised his coffee in greeting. "Hi, Mom. I''m happy to see you."
"Me too, gramma!" I said, knowing that there is no escape.
"So, what you doing here?" asked Uncle Charlie.
"I''m showing a house up the beach, and thought, while in the neighborhood, I would drop off a gift for my grandson," said Evelyn while writing a check.
"You writing him a check? What kind of gift is that?" asked n, astonished.
I looked the check. 200 bucks. Nice gift. But I think I''ve be a little numb because of the money I won in the bets. Nheless, I said, "Thank you, Gramma!" giving her a hug.
Evelyn studied me for a moment, then tilted her head. "You don''t seem all that surprised about the money, sweetheart."
Charlie chuckled from the side. "That''s because it''s nothingpared to what he made on the bets."
n made an angry face to his brother.
Evelyn slowly turned her gaze to Charlie. "Excuse me? What bets?"
"The yoffs, that sort of thing," Charlie replied casually, leaning against the counter. "The kid''s got a real gift."
Her eyes narrowed. "You let my grandson gamble?"
"Hey, it was a group effort," Charlie said defensively. "And it worked."
"How much?" she asked sharply.
Charlie grinned. "700 grand."
Evelyn froze. Her mouth opened and closed twice before she managed to speak. "700 thousand dors? And no one thought to include me?"
n winced. "Here we go."
Evelyn crossed her arms, ring at both of them. "I have been part of this family far longer than either of you have had working brain cells. I deserve a percentage."
Charlie raised his coffee cup. "Wee back, Mom."
"We actually bet on the Super Bowl too," I added casually.
Evelyn''s eyes flicked toward me. "Of course you did."
Charlie chuckled. "Odds were fifty to one. We put a hundred grand on the Rams winning 23 to 16."
Evelyn blinked, lips parting in surprise. "Fifty to one? And you bet a hundred thousand?"
"Yep," Charlie said, grinning. "A miracle, if it hits."
Evelyn tapped her manicured nail against her chin, calcting. Then she gave a sharp nod. "I want in. I''m cing a hundred thousand too."
n choked on his coffee. "You''re betting?"
"If this family is throwing around money and hitting jackpots, I refuse to be the only one ying it safe," she dered.
¡ª¡ª¡ª
Later that evening, the three of us¡ªme, n, and Charlie¡ªwere gathered in the living room, snacks stacked on the table, eyes fixed on the TV. The Super Bowl was underway, and the tension was thick.
By the fourth quarter, the Rams were up by a touchdown. The score? 23 to 16.
We all sat on the edge of our seats. n clutched a pillow like a life raft. Charlie paced back and forth, muttering under his breath. I just stared at the screen, heart pounding.
Then, footsteps approached.
"What''s all the fuss about?" Evelyn asked, stepping into the living room, almost making everyone having a heart attack
"The final quarter," I said. "And the score is exactly right."
Evelyn sat down without another word, her eyes instantly glued to the game.
The Titans had onest chance. With seconds left, they pushed forward, desperate. The final y: a pass over the middle. Caught¡ªand tackled one yard short.
Game over.
Rams win. 23 to 16.
The room erupted.
Charlie jumped and shouted, "YES!"
n dropped the pillow and stared at the screen in disbelief. "It actually happened."
Evelyn blinked a few times. "That was... precise."
Charlie grabbed his phone to check the results. "That two hundred grand just turned into ten million. And mom... you''re in."
Evelyn smiled smugly. "Now that''s a proper family activity."
n stood up, still dazed. "We''re millionaires."
I leaned back with a satisfied grin. "Told you guys."
Ten million dors.
But that wasn''t all.
Charlie blinked at his phone, then looked back at us, stunned. "Wait¡ªthere''s more. The other bet. The one Jake made¡ªny grand?"
n raised his eyebrows. "You did another bet?"
I nodded slowly. "Yeah, we made it together to thest one."
Charlie let out a low whistle. "Odds were a hundred to one. That ny thousand just turned into nine million."
Evelyn stood up, gripping the back of the couch for bnce. "You mean to tell me we just made neen million dors in one night?"
"Technically," Charlie said, smirking, "yes. Before taxes."
n looked like he might faint.
Evelyn, everposed, took a deep breath and smoothed her jacket. "Well then. I suppose I should stay the night. We have a lot of nning to do."
Charlie groaned, but I couldn''t stop smiling.
Chapter 9: Harper Management Fund
Chapter 9 - Harper Management Fund
The next morning, Charlie was already at the kitchen table, a pen in one hand and a notepad in the other. He stared at the numbers, lips pressed tight in concentration.
"Alright," he muttered, scribbling down the first line. "5.814 million for Jake... and me."
He paused and wrote the next line. "2.971 million for n."
Then, tapping the pen thoughtfully, he added, "5 million for Mom."
I walked in mid-calction, grabbing a bowl of cereal. "Working on the split?"
Charlie nodded. "Just trying to be fair. We round it to 19.6 million total. Before taxes, of course."
n entered next, still in his pajamas, hair a mess. He nced at the notepad and nodded, with a smile in his face
"Yeah, that''s about right," he said calmly. "I did the same mathst night. Many times. Then once again this morning."
"Might as well face reality now," Charlie replied. "IRS is gonna take a chunk."
He scribbled again. "So if we assume about a quarter goes to taxes... that''s 4.9 million off the top."
I leaned in, watching him calcte. "Leaves us with 14.7 million."
Charlie smirked. "Kid''s still sharp."
He reworked the numbers quickly. "After taxes: 4.36 for me and Jake, 2.23 for n, 3.75 for Mom."
n rubbed his temples. "I''m gonna need aspirin."
Charlie stood up, stretching. "And maybe a financial nner. Or two."
I grinned. The high from the win still hadn''t worn off, but now reality was slowly settling in. Not the bad kind of reality, though¡ªthe kind where everything changes, and for once, you''re actually ready for it.
Charlie picked up the paper, gave it a final nce, and nodded. "Not bad for a weekend. Especially one that I did not getid" he smirked, receiving a reproachful gaze from n
I set my cereal bowl down and cleared my throat. "You know, we should really think bigger."
n and Charlie both looked at me.
"What do you mean?" n asked, cautious.
"I mean," I continued, "we should open a fund. Like, a family investment fund. Call it... Harper Management Fund."
Charlie raised an eyebrow. "You want us to be hedge fund guys now?"
"Not a hedge fund," I said. "But close. We take most of what we have left¡ªafter everyone pulls out one million for personal stuff¡ªand we invest the rest in stocks. Diversify it, be smart about it."
n looked skeptical. "Stocks? That''s still risky."
"Not as risky as betting, and let''s be honest¡ªthere''s a limit to how much we can keep winning at gambling without raising red gs. If we want to keep growing this, we need to make it legit."
Charlie sat back, thinking. "And who''s going to run this Harper Fund?"
I smiled. "Me. I''ll manage it. I know what I''m doing."
n nced at Charlie. "The scary part is... I actually believe him."
Charlie grinned. "Alright, kid. You''ve earned your shot. Let''s build a fortune the old-fashioned way¡ªby letting the twelve-year-old run it."
I leaned forward slightly. "Look, in the worst-case scenario, everyone still keeps their one million. That''s more money than most people see in a lifetime. But if we y it smart, we can turn this into something much bigger."
Just then, Evelyn walked into the kitchen, holding her usual designer purse and wearing a perfectly coordinated outfit. "What are you all conspiring about this early in the morning?"
"We''re starting a family investment fund," Charlie replied casually. "Harper Management Fund."
Evelyn raised an eyebrow. "You mean like a proper investment operation?"
"Exactly," I said. "Each of us takes a million for personal use, and the rest goes into the fund. I''ll manage it."
Evelyn narrowed her eyes thoughtfully. "And what''s my role in this?"
"Investor," Charlie said with a grin. "And asional critic."
She nodded slowly. "Fine. But I want monthly reports and a proper portfolio breakdown. If I''m investing, I''m expecting results."
"Done," I replied with confidence.
n looked at me again. "Seriously, who are you?"
I couldn''t help but think how surreal this all was. Everyone just... agreed. I mean, if memory served me right, Uncle Charlie and Gramma would both fall for some investment scam from my dad in the future. The fact that they were ready to hand over millions to a twelve-year-old¡ªwell, that said a lot.
Then again, n agreeing was the most baffling of all. Maybe it was the money blinding him to logic. No sane person would leave a fund in the hands of a child, even one who made a few lucky bets. Especially when those bets had no rational corrtion to each other.
But then again... this was a si reality.
Maybe I should expect a few irrational moments along the way (more than I already have).
After breakfast, I took my cereal to the patio and sat in the sun, deep in thought. The truth was, I already had a thousand ideas racing through my mind. Now that I was officially managing the Harper Management Fund, I had to think not just like a time traveler with cheat codes¡ªbut like a real investor.
The year 2000, I remembered, was rough. Really rough. The do bubble was about to burst in March. It would wipe out hundreds of overvalued techpanies practically overnight. The Nasdaq would crash, and panic would ripple through Wall Street.
It was terrible news for most investors.
But not for me.
If I yed it right, I could short the market, target the overhyped tech stocks, and profit massively when the crash came. The question was: which stocks to short? Pets immediately came to mind. Symbolic of the bubble¡ªhigh profile, no profits, huge burn rate. Webvan was another disaster waiting to happen.
I''d also need some safe havens. I remembered that ckRock performed well despite the chaos, showing steady growth and good fundamentals. It could be a long-term anchor.
I tapped my spoon against the bowl, thinking.
Short-term ys: short Pets, Webvan, eToys. Maybe even a few IPOs fromte ''99 that were still hot.
Long-term growth: buy and hold ckRock for a year. And there are the superb, Amazon, Monster, Nvidea,? Apple. And I remember the juice Netease in 2002, two years for now.
This was just the beginning. But if I timed it right, the Harper Management Fund wouldn''t just survive the do crash¡ªit would thrive in it.
And they''d all think I was some kind of financial prodigy.
Which, I guess, I kind of was.
Chapter 10: Style Upgrade, Dad Downgrade
Chapter 10 - Style Upgrade, Dad Downgrade
"I''m not going to school today," I said casually as I poured myself a ss of orange juice.
n, still halfway through his first cup of coffee, looked up and shrugged. "After winning millions? You can skip the whole week if you want."
Charlie, across the table, smirked. "Look at that. A supportive father for once. I''m touched."
After breakfast, we stayed at the table, the Harper Management Fund still the hot topic. Evelyn was asking for updates on the paperwork, n was scribbling on a yellow notepad, and Charlie was doing his best to pretend he wasn''t involved.
I leaned forward. "Hey, Grandma. Do you know anyone in fashion? Like, real fashion. Someone with taste."
Evelyn raised an eyebrow. "I know several, darling. Why?"
I shrugged. "Now that I have money, I think it''s time I stop dressing like a cartoon character. I''m also nning to get my hair cut at the same ce Uncle Charlie goes."
n looked up. "I can help with clothes. I''ve got a few ideas."
I turned slowly to him, narrowing my eyes, looking the feet to the top, "I think I''ll pass, dad"
Charlie tried to hold back augh and failed. "Yeah, unless Jake wants to start dressing like an overworked dentist from Pasadena, maybe let him figure it out himself."
"Hey," n protested. "I''m very organized with my wardrobe."
"Exactly," Charlie said with a smirk.
A couple of hourster, Charlie took me to his barber, a sleek ce in Malibu with soft jazz ying and customers who smelled like cologne ads. After the cut, we met up with one of Evelyn''s old acquaintances, a fashion consultant named risse. She had a tape measure around her neck and an intimidating sense of style.
"Let''s build you a wardrobe, young man," she said, already steering me toward racks of designer clothing.
Trying on clothes wasn''t my favorite thing, but I had to admit, it was satisfying to see the change. Slim-fit jeans, clean sneakers,yered shirts¡ªfashionable but not like a kid trying too hard to dress like an adult. The style felt bnced, refined, something that actually fit me, not just my body, but my attitude.
I also liked the new haircut. Clean, modern, not overly styled. risse handed me a small jar of hair pomade¡ªnothing like those cheap gels that make your hair look like it was licked by a cow. This was quality stuff. Light hold, natural finish. I could get used to this. For the first time, I looked in the mirror and didn''t see the chubby, careless version of Jake Harper.
"I gotta work out more," I muttered, tightening the belt. Not bing chubby Jake again.
Charlie overheard and grinned. "That''s the spirit. Just don''t turn into one of those kids who spends more time flexing in the mirror than studying."
"No danger there," I replied, admiring the sharper jawline starting to show.
We loaded the shopping bags into the car and headed home, feeling like royalty. But the moment we turned into the garage, we both froze.
"Is that... a Porsche?" Charlie asked, squinting.
n stood next to a brand-new, gleaming red Porsche convertible, grinning like a teenager.
I stepped out slowly, staring at the car, then at my dad. "You''ve had the money for less than a day"
n patted the hood. "It was a great deal. Low mileage. German engineering."
I turned to Charlie. "I thought you were the most irresponsible one with money."
Charlie took off his sunsses and stared at the car in disbelief. "So did I, kid. So did I."
Chapter 11: Mom Finds Out
Chapter 11 - Mom Finds Out
Three months passed in a sh, and suddenly, it was April. The Harper Management Fund was running, my haircut was still sharp, and my wardrobe was far from anything you''d find in a kid''s department.
Charlie, of course, hadn''t stopped pushing the gambling angle. "Come on, Jake. You nailed the Super Bowl. Let''s keep the streak alive!" he''d say at least once a week.
I humored him. But the truth was, most games that came up in February and March? I had no memory of them. Regr season NBA games? Hockey? Golf? I had no idea who won. I wasn''t about to throw thousands of dors at random scores. Still, to keep him happy, I made a few small bets here and there¡ªlost about five thousand overall.
"You win some, you lose some," Charlie shrugged. "It''s part of the game."
"It''s not a game when it''s real money," I reminded him. "But I''ve got better ysing."
Because while I didn''t know everything about every sport, I did remember who won the big ones. The Lakers were going to win the NBA Finals in June. Real Madrid would lift the Champions League trophy at the end of May. And those weren''t risky long-shots. They were just... waiting to happen.
So I told Charlie, "Let''s go futures. Championship bets only. Lakers for the NBA. Real Madrid for the Champions League."
He raised an eyebrow. "You sure about the ser one?"
I grinned. "Uncle Charlie, I may not love basketball, but I''m a ser guy"
Meanwhile, not all the attention stayed on betting and fashion. One morning in March, Judith found out about the gambling.
"You WHAT?!" Her voice could probably be heard three blocks away.
n tried to exin, stammering through how it all started with the yoffs and how Jake had a magic touch. Judith wasn''t having it.
"He''s a CHILD! He shouldn''t even know what odds are, let alone how to bet with real money!"
She stormed into the house, pointing at Charlie. "This is your influence! I knew it!"
Charlie raised his hands. "Hey, technically, he''s the one who won us the millions. I was just driving."
She paced, fuming¡ªuntil she saw the total earnings. Then something changed.
"Wait... he made how much?"
"More than neenmillion," I said calmly.
Judith blinked. She gaped, than her eyes narrowed. Then she smiled. Not a happy smile. Awyer smile.
"I want in. And you better believe I''m asking for half in the divorce."
I nced over at Charlie and muttered, "Just like Gramma."
The days passed, and though I still rolled my eyes at how messy my family could be, I had to admit something¡ªsomething I wouldn''t have said back in January. My mom and dad, despite all their ws (and there are a lot), were trying. n still hovered with his awkward affection, and Judith still nagged about things like bedtimes and screen time. But they were there. They were involved. And they love me.
I used to sigh andin that I had a bitchy mom and a simp dad. But now? After three chaotic, crazy months... they were both trying to be good parents.
And in their own weird ways, they were seeding.
There were other changes too. I had started working out¡ªnot like some crazy gym rat, but enough to lose the baby fat and feel stronger. A couple of morning jogs with Charlie (a miracle that only happened because, after bothering him a lot, we jog one day, and that day he gotid with one of the hottest girls I even saw) and a few sets of push-ups each day added up. I wasn''t scrawny, but I wasn''t the chubby kid from January either.
At school, things took an unexpected turn. I began acing every test¡ªmath, history, even science. Teachers started calling on me more, students started whispering, and my reputation shifted fromzy to genius.
One teacher asked me directly, "Jake, what changed? You''re getting perfect scores all of a sudden." They were suspicious at first, but I demonstrate that I don''t have to cheat to have a perfect score
I shrugged with azy smile. "Guess I was just being toozy before. Decided to put in a little more effort."
Technically true. Just not the full truth.
On the investment side, I decided to y it smart. I put a chunk of our fund into ckRock. To dig deeper into the dot scene, I had Charlie reach out to a few financial analysts he knew through some of his old party circles. We posed as eager investors looking for the next big tech win.
The rmendations poured in¡ªdozens of shy, overhyped dot startups with zero revenue and billion-dor valuations. Pretty much exactly what I expected. Only one analyst gave an honest opinion: "I wouldn''t touch anything dot right now. They''re all inted beyond belief."
He was right. That guy deserved a bonus.
Of course, I already knew what wasing. But even with that knowledge, I stayed cautious. I knew shorting the market could have made us filthy rich¡ªespecially if I had gone in leveraged. But the risk of losing more than we invested didn''t sit well with me.
Instead, I went with put options. Safer. Controlled losses. And when the bubble burst in March, they printed money like a dream.
We more than doubled the capital in the Harper Management Fund. I''m managing an incredible 24 million fund now.
Charlie tried to act cool, but he started calling me ''Money Maker Jake.''
Chapter 12: Better Than the Original
Chapter 12 - Better Than the Original
Sometimes I wonder why Charlie neverins about us still living in his house. Not even a sarcastic jab¡ªwhich,ing from him, says a lot. Back in the show, he never missed a chance to mock my dad. Now? Silence.
The truth is, Dad could easily afford a new ce now. We all could. But knowing him, he''s gotten a little too used to the Malibu lifestyle¡ªocean view, fresh breakfast, no rent (especially thest one). That''s peak n behavior: findfort and cling to it like a parasite. No effort to change. No real motivation to move out.
And Charlie? I think he actually likes having me around.
He always had a soft spot for Jake in the show. But me? I''m not the same kid. I don''t do the same dumb stuff. I''m not a walking disaster when ites to grades or hygiene. I''ve made him rich¡ªseveral times over. I''m smart, helpful, polite, and I can hold a conversation that doesn''t involve fart jokes or video games.
Honestly? I think Charlie likes me much more than the original Jake
I was stretched out on the couch, deeply absorbed in a worn hardcover copy of Margin of Safety by Seth rman. The book was dense, but rman''s take on risk, discipline, and long-term investing had me hooked. I''d read it in my past life, but the re-read was absolutely worth it.
Charlie walked into the room, hands in his pockets, wearing that trademark half-grin that always meant trouble.
"Jake, buddy, I need a favor," he said.
I didn''t even look up. "You needing a favor usually means I end up doing something weird, ufortable, or both. What is it this time?"
He hesitated for a beat. "I need you to entertain someone."
I finally nced up, narrowing my eyes. "How old are we talking?"
"Twelve," he replied. "But this time, it''s a girl."
I groaned, closing the book with a thud. "Of course it is. There''s more, isn''t there?"
Charlie scratched the back of his neck. "Well... technically, she''s still married. The mom, not the kid."
My mouth dropped open. "Uncle Charlie... there''s a special ce in hell for people like you."
Before he could fire back some witty defense, the doorbell rang.
"That''s them!" he said quickly, straightening his shirt and heading for the door.
I stayed nted on the couch, mentally preparing myself. This was going to be awkward. No question about it.
Charlie opened the door with his usual charm. A tall, stylish woman walked in, heels clicking softly on the hardwood. Right behind her was a girl with long dark hair, sharp brown eyes, and an oversized hoodie. She had that look¡ªhalf happy, half too-smart-for-her-age.
"Jake, this is¡ª"
"Hi," the girl said before he could finish. "I''m Tori. Tori Vega."
I blinked. Tori... Vega?
That name set off rms in the back of my mind. I stared at her for a moment.
"Do you... have a sister?" I asked out nowhere
Tori tilted her head, confused. "Yeah. Trina. Why?"
Bingo. I knew exactly who she was.
Charlie gave me a side nce. "What''s with the face?" Then he leaned in and whispered with a yful smirk, "Don''t tell me you''ve got a crush on your first ydate." while elbowing me
I red at him, clearly annoyed. "Nothing. Just... wasn''t expecting that."
Tori walked further into the room, her gaze drifting casually around until itnded on the piano. Her expression changed a lot. She was already more intriguing than most kids her age.
Victoria Justice.
Back in my old life, she had been one of my biggest teenage crushes. Talented. Gorgeous. Seeing her like this¡ªso young, sopletely out of context¡ªwas like a glitch in the Matrix.
I rubbed the back of my neck, unsure how to act. A dumb part of me even wondered if I should try to be impressive. Say something clever. Be memorable. Lay the groundwork for... something.
But then another thought hit me, hard.
Wait¡ªwhat the hell am I thinking?
She''s twelve. Twelve.
And I''m... well, technically twelve too. But only technically. And I was saying that Uncle Charlie is a scumbag minutes ago...
Chapter 13: Her Name Was Tori
Chapter 13 - Her Name Was Tori
Chapter 13 Jake Meets Tori
Tori sat cross-legged on the carpet, casually toying with one of the throw pillows from the couch. I was across from her, legs stretched out, book forgotten for now. I figured the least I could do was keep herpany¡ªespecially since this whole situation was my uncle''s fault.
"So," she said, looking at me over the pillow, "do you live here?"
"Yeah. Me and my dad," I replied with a small nod. "Technically, it''s my uncle''s house, though."
She nced around the living room. "It''s big. Fancy. Kind of smells like cologne and old pizza."
I smirked. "Wee to Malibu. Home of mild dysfunction and oceanfront views."
She chuckled, finally rxing a bit.
"What about your family?" I asked. "You said you have a sister?"
"Yeah, Trina," she said, letting out a sigh. "She''s... a lot. Like, if a drama club exploded and became a person. She thinks she''s destined for Broadway."
"Is she any good?"
"Not really," Tori said without hesitation. "But she''s got confidence. I guess that counts for something."
Iughed. "Honestly, that might be the only thing that matters in showbiz."
She tilted her head. "What about your mom? She around?"
I hesitated a moment, then leaned back on my hands. "She''s... traveling."
No need to sugarcoat it. After the money hit, Mom had gone off to Europe¡ªsome five-star tour of art museums and overpriced restaurants. All courtesy of her share of Dad''s millions.
He said it was fine. Said he was happy she was getting space.
But I knew what it was.
Dad got whipped.
"They''re splitting up," I added. "Divorce in slow motion."
And with the way her mom had been hovering over Charlie this morning, it looked like she and her husband might not be far behind. But then again, in the series they were still together, and that''s six years from now.
Tori nodded. "Yeah... that happens a lottely."
We sat in a quiet pause for a few seconds, not ufortable.
"What do you like to do?" she asked after a beat.
"Hmm..." I tilted my head. "Reading, mostly. Business stuff. A little finance."
She raised an eyebrow. "Finance? You read about money for fun?"
"Pretty much," I said. "I manage a fund. Small one."
Tori blinked. "What''s a fund?"
"It''s kind of like a pool of money people put together to invest in stuff," I exined. "Stocks, options, sometimes other assets. I just try not to lose everyone''s money¡ªand maybe double it when things go well."
Her mouth opened slightly. "So you''re like... twelve and running a business?"
"Technically. But not really a business in a normal way, I just need to buy stocks, a part of some enterprises," I said, shrugging with a half-smile.
"That''s insane," she muttered, shaking her head. "I barely remember my email password."
I chuckled. "I barely remember my name is Jacob. Guess we all have our priorities."
"So what do you like to do?" I asked, changing the subject.
"Music," she said instantly. "Singing, mostly. I try to write songs sometimes. I mess around on the piano when Trina''s not hogging it."
I looked toward the grand piano in the corner. "Wanna try it?" I said, gesturing toward it. "My uncle doesn''t care." That was totally a lie.
"Really??" Tori said, her eyes lighting up.
She hopped to her feet and walked over like she belonged there. She sat on the bench, fingers hovering over the keys for a second, then pressing down with gentle confidence. A few chords, warm and familiar, filled the room. Then, without warning, she began to sing.
Her voice was soft at first, then grew stronger, richer. She didn''t try too hard¡ªdidn''t oversell it like some kid auditioning for a talent show. It was natural.
I leaned forward, elbows on my knees, genuinely impressed. It wasn''t just decent¡ªit was good. Really good for her age.
She finished the short song with a gentle run of notes, then looked back at me with a small, hopeful smile. "Too much?"
I shook my head. "No way. That was amazing."
She grinned. "Your turn."
I blinked. "What?"
"You said your uncle doesn''t care. Come on, show me what you got."
I rolled my eyes but got up anyway. "Fine, but don''t judge me too hard."
I sat down beside her, cracked my knuckles like some kind of dramatic performer, and started ying a simple melody I remembered from my past life. Just a soft, flowing tune. Not shy¡ªbut clean.
Then I took a breath, let my fingers settle into the opening chords, and began to sing.
(Talking to the moon - Bruno Mars)
? I know you''re somewhere out there, somewhere far away... ?
My voice was soft at first. Tori straightened a bit, her smile fading into something more focused. She was listening.
? I want you back, I want you back...
My neighbors think I''m crazy, but they don''t understand
You''re all I had, you''re all I had... ?
I kept ying, letting the melody guide me, letting the words carry more than just their meaning. There was something raw in that song¡ªsomething that hit different when you felt alone in a house that never really felt like home.
? At night when the stars light up my room... I sit by myself... Talking to the moon... Tryna get to you... ?
Tori stared, unmoving,pletely drawn in. Her eyes were wide.
? In hopes you''re on the other side, talking to me too... Or am I a fool who sits alone, talking to the moon... ?
I nced at her with a small smirk. "What do you think?"
"Oh,e on, don''t stop now!" she whined
I chuckled, then picked up where I left off:
? Oh... I''m feelin'' like I''m famous, the talk of the town
They say I''ve gone mad, yeah,
I''ve gone mad
But they don''t know what I know,
''cause when the sun goes down
Someone''s talking back, yeah, they''re talking back, oh... ?
I let the final chord ring out, echoing gently into silence.
Tori was still, almost breathless. Her eyes shimmered a bit in the light. Then, out of nowhere, she leaned in and kissed me softly on the cheek.
"Whoa¡ªwhat the¡ª whatta hell girl?!" I blurted, blinking in surprise,
She just grinned. "That was the most beautiful thing I''ve ever heard."
Before I could say anything else, Charlie strolled into the room with a mischievous grin.
"Well, well, look who''s getting along," he said yfully, raising an eyebrow.
I just facepalm...
Chapter 14: From Sitcom to Something Else
Chapter 14 - From Si to Something Else
Chapter 14
Tori''s mom appeared in the doorway a littleter, purse in hand and car keys jingling. "Tori, sweetie, it''s time to go."
Tori stood, brushing imaginary dust off her jeans, and nced at me. Her expression was somewhere between reluctant and thoughtful.
"Well," she said, walking toward the door with me following behind, "today wasn''t half as weird as I thought it''d be."
"High praise," I said with a grin.
When we reached the front steps, she turned suddenly and gave me a quick, unexpected hug.
"We should, like, talk again or something," she said. "Maybe call each other?"
"Yeah," I said, blinking. "Sure. I''d like that."
She smiled and jogged down the steps to where her mom was waiting, leaving me standing there like a kid who wasn''t quite sure what just happened.
As the car pulled away, I was still on the porch when Charlie came out with a coffee mug and his usual smug expression.
"Well, well, Romeo," he said, nudging me with his elbow. "Didn''t take you long to find yourself a girlfriend."
"She''s not my girlfriend," I muttered, rolling my eyes.
Charlie raised an eyebrow. "Not your girlfriend yet?"
I almost said "yet." Almost. But I caught myself.
"Just a friend," I said instead, looking out toward the street. "Maybe in a few years..." I thought, then quickly shook the thought away.
Right on cue, n stepped into the scene, adjusting his shirt like he''d just walked out of a counseling session.
"What''s going on?" he asked, looking between us.
Charlie grinned. "Jake''s got a new friend. Cute girl. Sang a duet. Hugged him. Definitely a thing."
n squinted. "Isn''t she the daughter of that married woman who was here earlier?"
Charlie shrugged. "Technicalities."
n crossed his arms and gave him that ssic disappointed dad stare. "Charlie, she''s married. You were flirting with a married woman in front of her daughter. Do you even hear yourself?"
Charlie raised his hands innocently. "Hey, I was being supportive. Like a charming mentor figure."
"Right. A charming mentor figure who kept asking if she liked Italian food and calling her ''gorgeous'' every five minutes," n said, deadpan.
I snorted and headed back inside before I got dragged into their bickering.
That night, lying in bed with the ceiling fan humming above me, I stared up at nothing in particr.
Today reminded me of something.
In my past life, I never had any talent for sports. And judging by the way I yed ser with a bunch of twelve-year-olds earlier this week, nothing''s changed. Sure, I can keep up, maybe even win a few yground games¡ªbut let''s not kid ourselves. I''m no prodigy with a ball.
What I do have is intelligence. I''m smart enough now to get into a top university again. Harvard, maybe. But that''s now¡ªafter some years, I would be in the middle of the pack (of a top college). Still very impressive. But not genius-level.
And yet, I''m okay with that.
I might end up bing the greatest investor in history.
Tori showing up might concern a bit ¡ªbut things have still followed the general path I remember. And I''m not foolish enough to invest blindly just because I "know" the future. I still read the reports. I still follow the news. I analyze everypany before touching a cent. I still gonna bet with some sizable money.
But fame? As a singer? That thought had never crossed my mind.
Back in my old life, I took piano lessons as a hobby. Singing, though? I was never any good. But this voice... in this life... it''s different. Maybe I have a talent for it.
Could I actually do something with that?
I turned over on my side and pulled the nket up.
Just something to think about.
Tomorrow, maybe I''ll test a few more songs.
And that''s exactly what I did.
The next morning, after breakfast, I walked into the living room where Charlie was halfway through his second cup of coffee,zily flipping through a magazine.
"Hey, Uncle Charlie," I said, leaning against the back of the couch. "Random question: can you teach me more piano stuff?"
Charlie raised an eyebrow. "You want me to give you piano lessons?"
I shrugged. "You are a jingle writer, right? You must know enough to show me some stuff. Maybe some chords, songwriting tips?"
He narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "What''s this about? Did Tori say she liked musicians or something?"
I rolled my eyes. "No, I''m just interested. Thought I''d give it a shot."
Charlie smirked. "You? Voluntarily learning music? Who are you and what have you done with my nephew?"
"Come on," I said. "You gonna help or not?"
He sighed dramatically. "Fine. But if I catch you writing a song called ''My Heart Belongs in Algebra ss,'' I''m out."
I grinned. "Deal."
"Oh," I added, pausing. "Do you know anyone who could give voice lessons? Like, actual singing training?"
Charlie looked at me, then blinked. "Wow. You''re serious."
"I think I might be good," I said. "Like, surprisingly good. And I want to see how far I can take it."
He nodded slowly. "Alright, I might know a guy. Used to work with some backup singers. I''ll make a call."
And just like that, I decided to give it a real shot.
Singing. Performing. Maybe even writing something original (nah, not gonna happen, I totally ok with giarism)
Chapter 15: Butterflies
Chapter 15 - Butterflies
Chapter 15
The day had barely started when I got the news.
"Josh is spending the night," Dad said casually while buttering toast, like he was announcing we were out of orange juice.
"Josh?" I blinked. "Why?"
"He''s your friend," he said. "His parents asked, I said yes. Figured it''d be good for you."
"Hey, I''m Jake, not Drake, you don''t need to pair us" I murmured, so no one listened.
Friend was a generous word. Josh was... okay. We''d talked a few times at school. He was one of those kids who always had cookie crumbs on his shirt and thought burping the alphabet was peakedy.
"Jake needs more friends," n chimed in, clearly proud of his insight. "Real, in-person, age-appropriate friends."
That part I actually agreed with. I did need more people around me, more friends. I just didn''t think middle school kids were the answer.
Still, I nodded. No point in arguing¡ªit was already settled.
Truth is, I''d long epted that I didn''t quite fit in. I had made a personal goal of transferring to high school by next semester. I never changed that n because, frankly, sixth grade wasically easy. I finished assignments in minutes and spent the rest of the time reading while the teacher pretended not to notice. With all that free time, I was learning to sing and practicing piano on the side.
But high school... that would require effort. I''d need to actually interact, engage, socialize. Otherwise, what''s the point of skipping ahead if I''m just going to be the quiet, weird kid sitting in the back corner?
If I wasn''t going to make real connections, I might as well stay put¡ªwhere I could dominate the yground and outread everyone in ss.
Still, Josh wasing over. Whether I liked it or not.
¡ª¡ª¡ª
The next morning, after the "friends'' night" we were sitting at the kitchen counter, munching on cereal and casually chatting. Josh was rambling about some game he found¡ªsomething about zombie vigers that could fly? I was mostly nodding along, half-listening.
That''s when she walked in.
Cindy.
Wearing an oversized tee that hung slightly off one shoulder, she breezed into the kitchen like it was a runway. Josh instantly froze, his spoon mid-air, milk dripping onto the counter.
"H-Hey," he managed to croak.
"Morning, boys," she said with a casual smile, heading straight for the cabs.
I kept it cool. "Looking for something?"
"Yeah," she said, crouching a bit to peer into the lower shelves. "Where does Charlie keep the paper towels?"
"Top cab," I replied, pointing.
She reached up, and as she did, her shirt lifted just enough to reveal the lower curve of her back¡ªand the colorful butterfly tattoo inked on her right hip.
I smirked. "Not bad."
Josh, eyes wide and stunned, whispered, "Whoa."
And right on cue, n walked into the kitchen.
He stopped dead in his tracks.
"Whoa."
Cindy turned around, paper towel roll in hand, clearly oblivious to the small chaos she''d just caused.
"What?" she asked, confused.
I just sipped my orange juice like nothing happened.
"Nothing," I said smoothly. "Just appreciating the art of a well-timed entrance."
Josh still hadn''t blinked.
n cleared his throat and put on his best parental tone. "Alright, Jake and Josh, it''s time to get dressed."
I raised a finger. "Wait a moment."
I turned to Cindy with a perfectly innocent expression.
"Cindy, I think I need a few of those stic containers from that top cab," I said, pointing upward.
She gave me a look, half amused, half curious. "Really?"
"Absolutely. Urgent cereal storage," I said, trying to look as serious as possible.
Cindy rolled her eyes with a smirk and reached up again, giving the room another disy of her butterfly tattoo.
Josh nearly fell off his stool.
I leaned over and whispered, "Totally worth it."
n let out a long sigh. "Come on, let''s go," he said, exasperated.
¡ª¡ª¡ª
Later that day at school, our teacher gave us a simple assignment.
"Draw something interesting you see around your house," she said, passing out paper and crayons.
I didn''t even think twice¡ªI sketched a piano. Clean lines, a little shading, nothing fancy.
Then I nced at Josh.
He was hunched over his desk like he was working on the Sistine Chapel.
I leaned slightly, curious.
And there it was.
He was drawing a cartoonish rear end with a butterfly tattoo on the right cheek. Not subtle. Not abstract. A full-blown, no-holding-back Cindy-inspired masterpiece.
I should''ve stopped him. Warned him. Redirected him.
But I didn''t.
Because deep down, I knew this was going to be hrious.
And it was.
By the end of the school day, the drawing had made its way to the teacher, then to the principal, and finally... to Josh''s parents.
That evening, they showed up at the house, stiff and awkward, holding the folded drawing like it was a biohazard.
Charlie greeted them at the door, still in a robe, hair tousled like he just woke up from a very enthusiastic nap.
"Hey,e on in," he said. "What''s the¡ª"
They didn''t even wait. Josh''s dad held up the drawing like it was evidence.
"Our son created this in ss today."
Charlie looked at the drawing. Blinked. "The right cheek" murmured. Then turned slowly toward me, one eyebrow raised.
He crouched slightly and murmured, "Why didn''t you stop him?"
I shrugged with a perfectly straight face. "Because that would''ve ruined the fun."
Charlie stared at me for a second... and then covered his mouth to hide augh.
Josh''s mom did not find it funny.
The conversation that followed was a blur of awkward tension, disapproving looks, and Charlie trying to sound responsible while clearly biting the inside of his cheek to keep fromughing.
Later that evening, after the chaos had finally settled, I returned from my vocal lesson feeling... energized. My voice coach had pushed me harder than usual, and my throat was sore in a good way (only gods know what a bad way means). Progress.
But the second I stepped onto the front porch, I paused.
There, sitting on one of the patio chairs, was Cindy.
And across from her,ughing and sipping wine¡ªwas my mom.
Cindy twirled her hair around her finger while leaning in close. My mom? She was blushing.
I blinked.
Well, that''s new.
Charlie was inside on the couch, half-watching TV. I walked in slowly, tossed my backpack down, and leaned against the wall.
"Hey, Uncle Charlie," I said casually. "Isn''t that the girl you''re into... right there?" I nodded toward the porch. "And she''s with my mom."
Charlie looked up, then craned his neck toward the window.
There was a long pause.
Then I added with a grin, "The day just keeps getting funnier and funnier."
This time, Charlie didn''tugh.
He just gave me a long, deadpan stare.
A very unimpressed, not-amused,pletely-defeated stare.
And that, somehow, made it even better.
Chapter 16: Real Madrid
Chapter 16 - Real Madrid
Chapter 16
May 24th, Wednesday.
But not just any Wednesday (even better than the loli goth).
Today was the final of the Champions League.
And I was hyped.
Back in my old life, I''d spent a year doing an exchange program in Madrid. I fell in love with the city¡ªthe food, the people, the energy. But more than anything, I fell in love with Real Madrid. Their stadium, the Santiago Bernab¨¦u, felt like a monument. I''d never been the type to support underdogs just for the sake of it. That meant no Atl¨¦tico nonsense. I was all-in on the kings of Europe.
This season? Vintage Real.
Casis, Roberto Carlos, Ra¨²l, Anelka¡ªlegends. I''d followed every step of their campaign: the hard-fought quarterfinal against Manchester United, the thrilling semi-final victory over Bayern. And now, they were up against Valencia. Valencia. A team I hadpletely forgotten made it this far.
The best part? We''d ced our bet before the quarterfinals¡ªodds were 5 to 1.
Charlie and I were nted on the couch. He had a beer in hand, feet up, mostly watching for one reason: the bet.
n wandered into the living room just as the Champions League anthem echoed through the TV.
"So how much did you guys bet on this again?" he asked, narrowing his eyes.
I nced over, smirking. "Three hundred thousand."
n froze. "What?!"
"Sixty thousand each," I said casually. "Me, Charlie, you, Mom, and Gradma."
I shrugged. "300 grand on the pot for each, before taxes. Good pocket money."
n stared at me like I''d just pped his financial sensibilities. "Jake, that''s more than some people save in a lifetime. Pocket money? Seriously?"
Charlie burst outughing and clinked his bottle against mine. "Let the kid enjoy the richness."
I just smiled. Of course, three hundred thousand dors is a lot of money. But after you make millions in just a few months, you get a little numb about money. It''s strange. In my past life, it would''ve taken me years to save that kind of money. Carefully budgeting, cutting corners, avoiding expensive vacations. And now? A ser night and a good bet.
Kickoff.
Real came out sharp. Casis made an early save that set the tone, and soon enough, Morientes rose above the defense and headed in a perfect cross. 1¨C0.
"There we go!" I said, pumping a fist.
"Kid''s psychic," Charlie muttered.
Shortly after, McManaman hit a ridiculous volley off a cleared ball. The kind of goal you dream about.
"Okay, that was nice," Charlie admitted.
2¨C0.
n was leaning in now, glued to the screen.
Late in the second half, Valencia pushed up for a corner. But Real countered. A lightning-clearance, a pass through the lines¡ªand Ra¨²l was off. He rounded Santiago Ca?izares like he''d done it a hundred times and tapped the ball into the.
3¨C0.
Final whistle.
n jumped up, arms raised. "YES! YES! WE WON!"
Charlie grinned. "Look at him. Didn''t care an hour ago."
I chuckled. "Funny what 300 grand will do to someone''s team spirit."
Real Madrid were champions of Europe for the eighth time, their second title in three years. Vicente del Bosque got his first major trophy as manager. It was also the first final between two teams from the same country. And McManaman? First English yer to win it with a non-English club.
Historic.
Charlie leaned in with a sly grin. "You really gotta turn eighteen soon, kid."
I raised a brow. "Why?"
"If you were legal," he said with a wink, "I''d take you out to a very fun ce tonight."
Iughed. "Guess I''ll settle for soda and pizza."
"Cheers to that," he said, raising his beer.
We clinked bottles.
Later that night, we were still lounging in the living room, the TV ying highlights on loop.
n looked at me thoughtfully. "So what do you even gonnado with that kind of money, Jake?"
I leaned back, arms behind my head. "Honestly? Not much. Probably put in our fund. There isn''t a whole lot to spend on when you''re twelve."
Charlie scoffed. "You say that like you''re seventy."
"I''ve already redone my entire wardrobe. Bought every toy I ever wanted". Especially the ones I couldn''t have in myst life. "Giant Lego sets, remote-controlled everything. Even got aputer"
n blinked. "You''re telling me you have millions, and you''ve only spent it on toys and T-shirts?"
"Well... yeah. I can''t buy a car, can''t own property, I have zero interest in jewelry, and Uncle Charlie covers most expenses already."
Charlie raised his beer again. "Best roommate I ever had."
Iughed. "The real challenge is figuring out what''s worth spending on. At this point, a great vacation during school break might actually be it."
Charlie perked up. "You thinking beaches, resorts, Europe?"
"Maybe Spain," I said, ncing toward the TV where Ra¨²l was lifting the trophy. "Or Italy. London, maybe."
n crossed his arms with a half-smile. "You''re twelve. Shouldn''t you be thinking Disnend?"
"We had been there already" I said. "This time, I want tapas in Madrid, pasta in Rome, and tea in London."
Charlie whistled. "Kid''s got taste."
Chapter 17: Hot crazy chick
Chapter 17 - Hot crazy chick
Chapter 17
I was walking a little ahead of Dad and Uncle Charlie, mostly because I didn''t want to be seen with a grown man mumbling about his face being numb.
"I can''t feel my face, Charwie," Dad said, voice slurred.
"You just had two wisdom teeth pulled," Charlie said, holding him steady. "What''d you expect, champagne and karaoke?"
Then it happened.
Crash!
The sound of ss shattering. Loud and close.
I turned around just in time to see a woman¡ªwild curls, denim jacket, boots¡ªstanding on the hood of a car with a baseball bat in hand. She smashed the windshield like she was born for it.
"Well... that''s something," I muttered.
Dad pointed. "Look at that."
Charlie tilted his head. "That is a very sexy woman."
"Reawly?" Dad said, blinking. "That arouses you?"
Charlie stepped forward, grinning. "How you doing?" he called out.
The woman looked over and smiled like she was at a garden party. "Hey!" she said brightly.
Then she turned and shattered the passenger window.
"Charwie. Walk away," Dad said, dead serious.
I squinted at the scene. "This time... I might actually agree with Dad."
Charlie waved us off. "Rx. This could be interesting."
I watched as she casually hopped down from the hood, strolled over, and started smashing side mirrors. Then she spun around and took out the taillights like she was in a demolition ballet.
"Is that your car?" Charlie asked.
The woman looked at him like he was the crazy one. "Do I look like a crazy person to you?"
I crossed my arms. "Nooo, why would we ever think that?"
She grinned.
Then shattered the rear window.
"So whose car is it?" Charlie asked. "Cheating boyfriend?"
"No. Psychiatrist." She mmed the bat into the trunk for punctuation.
"Ah. Now it all checks out," I deadpanned.
Then she casually handed the bat to Charlie. "Hold this for a sec, will you?"
And like the gentleman he is, he did.
She crouched, pulled a key out of her pocket, and started deting one of the tires.
Dad, still wobbly, walked over and lightly kicked the front tire. "Don''t these cars have rms?"
The moment he said it¡ªWEEE-OOO-WEEE-OOO! The car lit up like a Christmas tree.
I looked at him. "Congrats, Dad."
His eyes widened. "Okay, we need to go. Now."
Charlie nced down at the bat in his hands. "Do I look like an aplice right now?"
"Legally? Definitely," I said.
We were already backing away when the woman called out, "Hey! You''re not just going to leave me here, are you?"
¡ª¡ª¡ª
Cut to: all four of us crammed in Charlie''s car.
I was rolling my eyes in the back seat, arms crossed.
The woman¡ªFrankie, she''d told us¡ªwas in the back seat with me,pletely unbothered.
She reached into her purse and pulled out a bottle rattling with pills. "Antidepressants, tranquilizers, sleeping pills," she said casually. "You want any of these?"
"Hey, tranquilizers and sleeping pills might actually help with these two sometimes," I said, nodding toward the opposite seats.
"Jake!" Dad hissed.
Without missing a beat, Frankie rolled down the window and chucked the whole bottle out.
Dad gasped. "You can''t just throw medication into the street!"
She shrugged. "I gotta say, I really appreciate this, guys."
Charlie, still driving like none of this was weird: "No problem."
Dad, grumbling: "Big problem."
Me: "Not my problem."
A quiet beat passed. Then Dad asked, "So, where exactly should we drop you off?"
The woman nced out the window, then leaned her head back. "Honestly? I don''t really have anywhere to stay right now."
She turned to Charlie with a half-smile. "You don''t happen to know a ce, do you?"
¡ª¡ª¡ª
Ten minutester, we pulled into Uncle Charlie''s beach house.
Frankie hopped out, looked around, and said, "Great house. Oh wow, you''re right on the beach."
Then she started taking off her jacket. And her boots. Then her jeans.
Dad grabbed Charlie by the sleeve. "She''s taking off her clothes."
Charlie, smiling like a kid on Christmas: "Is this a great country or what?"
I smirked. "Okay... now it was kind of worth it."
Just then, Judith''s car pulled up.
She stepped out, sunsses on, looking like she already regretted her decision toe.
"Right on time, Mom," I said.
I was about to head out, but paused. "I just need to grab something real quick."
While I ran inside, Judith took a cautious step in¡ªjust in time to spot a woman''s high heel in the hallway.
She held it up like it was evidence. "What is this doing here?"
Dad panicked. "It''s not what it looks like¡ªwell, okay, yes it is, but¡ª"
"Tell Charlie he''s a pig," she said tly, and handed the shoe to Dad.
I came back a few secondster.
"All good?" she asked as we headed to her car.
"Yeah," I said. "Just locked the bedroom door."
Judith raised an eyebrow but didn''t question it.
¡ª¡ª¡ª
The next day, Mom was driving me back to Charlie''s house. The car ride was mostly silent¡ªone of those "I''m not mad, just processing" silences.
We pulled into the driveway, and she came up to the door with me.
I heard raised voices inside. Mostly one voice.
The door flew open. Frankie stood there, phone to her ear, voice raised.
"You can take your damn money, and stick it up your white bread, country club, Tournament of Roses, liposuctioned ass!"
Then she saw us.
She lowered the phone a little, shed a sweet smile at my mom, and said, "Hi."
Judith blinked, clearly caught off guard. "Hi," she said, giving me a quick hug.
Frankie raised a finger¡ªhold on a second¡ªand snapped back into the phone. "Really? I''m garbage?"
"Is n here?" Mom asked, still unsure what universe she''d just walked into.
"Yeah," Frankie said, pointing toward the kitchen without missing a beat. "Well, I got news for you,dy¡ªthe term is white trash!"
Mom turned to me, eyebrows raised. "Do you know her?"
"Noope, that''s a new one," I lied smoothly. Better not to mention the whole baseball bat incident.
"Hi, Dad," I said as we stepped inside the kitchen
A little girl slid off the edge of one of the chairs. She had blown eyes and a bob haircut, and before stepping forward, she did this little hair flip with her fingers.Then she walked straight toward me, stuck out her hand, and said with a big smile, "Hi, I''m Joanie."
I froze.
My eye twitched.
I turned slowly toward Charlie and Dad with a deadpan re. "They''re getting younger."
Chapter 18: To London
Chapter 18 - To London
Chapter 18
Frankie and Joanie were saying goodbye.
Frankie had finally ended her whirlwind stay at the house, and I could see it in Dad''s eyes¡ªhe was actually sad.
I, on the other hand, was relieved. Joanie had spent most of her time hovering around me like I was a celebrity, giggling at everything I said, following me around the house, and once even offering me a juice box like it was a grand romantic gesture. I mean, I get it. I''m cool. But this was a bit much.
We were sitting in the kitchen after they''d gone, just me, Charlie, and Dad.
I leaned back in my chair and sighed. "Well... that was new."
Charlie took a sip of his coffee. "You mean the part where I became the third wheel in my own house?"
"No," I said. "The part where I had to deal with an eight-year-old girl having a crush on me... and Dad got all the good stuff."
Dad didn''t even deny it. Just gave a wistful smile.
"Unreal," I muttered, reaching for thest slice of toast.
Wee to Malibu.
¡ª¡ª¡ª
A few minutester, Evelyn swept into the kitchen like she was making an entrance on a runway.
"I have exciting news," she said. "I''ve been invited to a wedding. The daughter of an old friend of mine."
Charlie nced up. "How are the bridesmaids?"
Evelyn turned her head slowly and gave him a death re.
He held up his hands. "Just asking."
I leaned forward, curious. "Wait, you''re inviting all of us? Isn''t that kind of unusual? Weddings usually have a guest limit, and you''re adding three people who don''t even know the bride and groom."
Evelyn gave a small shrug. "She adores me. I''m sure they''ll make room."
Then she added, almost as an afterthought, "It''s in London."
I froze.
London?
Suddenly, everything shifted in my head. This wasn''t just a random wedding anymore. I had literally been talking about wanting to travel somewhere cool during summer vacation¡ªand now this falls into myp?
This had to be the Pilot.
I leaned back in my chair, thoughtful. "Huh. This just got interesting."
I looked back at Evelyn. "What''s the name of the bride and groom?"
Evelyn blinked. "Um... I think the daughter''s name is Amy? Or something like that."
I raised an eyebrow. "You don''t know?"
She waved a hand. "It''s in the invitation somewhere, I''m sure."
"You sure you were actually invited, gramma?" I asked. "Names are usually printed right on the front of the invite."
Evelyn didn''t even flinch. "They''ll be thrilled to see me. Trust me."
¡ª¡ª¡ª
Cut to the four of us boarding a first-ss flight to London in that very same day.
I buckled in, looking around at the plush seats, soft lighting, and the ridiculous legroom. "I thought this was going to be during summer vacation. Not the next day."
n, already fumbling with his seatbelt, added, "Who invites someone to a wedding one day in advance? Even if it''s the mother."
Charlie just grinned as he leaned back and tapped the armrest. "Someone that doesn''t want us to be there."
I settled into my seat, feeling thefort wrap around me like a hug. The leather, the legroom, the soft hum of quiet wealth. My first time in first ss.
"Yeah," I whispered. "I was born for this."
A few minutester, the flight attendant rolled by with a tray of drinks.
n perked up. "Are thoseplimentary?"
She smiled. "Yes, sir. All included."
n nodded. "Well then, I''ll take four more of whatever that is."
I groaned. "Can you not embarrass us, Dad?"
Charlie and Evelyn, without missing a beat, replied in sync:
"Toote."
¡ª¡ª¡ª
We arrived in London, and I have to admit¡ªthe hotel was nice. Not mind-blowing, but nice.
Evelyn, of course, had other thoughts.
"Honestly, we should''ve booked somewhere a little more luxurious," she said, eyeing the lobby like it personally offended her.
n, meanwhile, was practically vibrating. "This is amazing! We could see the Tower of London, Buckingham Pce, maybe do a double-decker bus tour before dinner!"
I raised an eyebrow. "We''re not in a race. Besides, what''s the rush? We can stay after the wedding too."
Missing a few days of school wasn''t exactly a tragedy.
Before the dinner, we actually did a bit of sightseeing. Tower Bridge, Big Ben, and a brief but embarrassing moment when Dad tried to speak in a British ent to a local vendor.
"Pardon me, good sir, might you direct me to the nearest loo?" he asked in what sounded like an Irish pirate.
The vendor blinked. "Mate... just say bathroom."
Charlie and I almost died of secondhand embarrassment. Evelyn pretended she didn''t know us.
We stopped at a caf¨¦ near the Thames, where Evelyn ordered tea like she was royalty and made a show of correcting the server''s pronunciation of "scone." Charlie bought a street caricature of himself that somehow made him look both drunk and noble.
At one point, we walked through a park near Buckingham Pce. Dad ran up to one of the Queen''s Guards and tried to make him smile.
"Hey buddy! Knock knock!"
Nothing.
Charlie pulled him back. "Come on, n. Let the man protect the Queen in peace."
By the time we were headed back to the hotel to change for dinner, we''d walked five miles, taken at least a hundred pictures (most of them by Dad), and I had a new appreciation for just how much secondhand embarrassment one can absorb in a day.
¡ª¡ª¡ª
Later that evening, we got dressed up for the pre-wedding dinner.
As soon as we walked in a well-dressed woman turned and spotted Evelyn.
"Evelyn!" she gasped, walking over with open arms. "Thank God you came."
Evelyn smiled like she expected nothing less. "Andrea, darling. Of course."
Andrea Waltham.
I scanned the room and nearly choked on my own breath.
Ross.
Emily.
My eyes widened. I knew those faces.
"Wait a second..." I muttered.
Charlie leaned in next to me and whistled. "Now that''s a good-looking one."
I put my hand on his belly and pushed him back. "Yeah. That''s also the bride."
Chapter 19: The One with Ross’s Wedding I
Chapter 19 - The One with Ross''s Wedding I
Chapter 19
The music in the reception area yed softly, mingling with the hum of light conversation and clinking sses. I was trying to keep a low profile when I overheard something that made me freeze.
Evelyn, chatting with Andrea Waltham, leaned in and said, "Still with that husband, huh?"
Andrea gave a tight smile and sighed. "Yes. Unfortunately."
Before I could process that, I heard Emily nearby say, "Oh, herees my dad and stepmom. This is Steven and Andrea Waltham."
Steve gave a polite nod and extended a hand to the Gellers, smiling warmly. "How do you do? Nice to meet you."
Andrea, however, didn''t even notice them. She was still deep in conversation with Evelyn,pletely ignoring Steve''s subtle gestures.
"Eh, darling... the Gellers?" he prompted, tilting his head toward the couple waiting to be acknowledged.
Evelyn and Andrea didn''t even flinch, too engrossed in catching up over thest decade of passive-aggressive friendship.
Meanwhile, I spotted Uncle Charlie just a few feet away from them, his eyes locked on someone.
Between the Gellers, standing tall in a sleek red dress, was Monica. Gorgeous.
Charlie adjusted his cor, smirked, and stepped forward like a lion spotting his next meal.
"Hi there," he said smoothly, voice dipped in charm. "Charlie Harper."
My heart skipped. He was talking to Monica. Monica Geller.
I knew this moment. This wedding was where Monica and Chandler were supposed to get together. It was the start of one of the best couples I''d ever seen on TV. And now my uncle¡ªmy unpredictable, flirt-powered uncle¡ªwas walking right into the middle of it.
I stood frozen, caught between a fanboy''s loyalty to canon and the very real possibility that Charlie might derail everything.
Should I stop him?
Should I let things y out?
Before I could borate more, I heard a voice nearby say, "She is self-involved. I should never have married her."
"Sorry, what?" Andrea suddenly stopped mid-sentence with Evelyn.
"It''s the Gellers, darling," Steven said, trying to guide her attention. "There''s one¡ªand there''s the other."
He pointed toward Jack and Judy Geller.
Andrea finally snapped out of her conversation, blinking toward them.
"And obviously, there my son is with one of them," Evelyn added reproachfully, narrowing her eyes at the sight of Charlie charming Monica.
Andrea finally turned and offered a quick, polite smile to the group. "Lovely to meet you," she said automatically¡ªthen turned straight back to Evelyn, continuing the conversation as if the interruption hadn''t happened.
Steven lingered awkwardly and muttered under his breath, "Nice of you to pay half the wedding," before trailing behind Andrea.
A littleter, we were seated at one of the tables. Monica was sitting next to Charlie¡ªof course. I was across from them, next to Dad, trying not to visibly cringe. Then I saw two familiar figures approaching the table.
Chandler and Joey.
As soon as their eyes locked onto Charlie, the tension became visible. Joey and Charlie shared a look between them, intense and vaguely territorial.
I nudged Dad and whispered, "It''s like watching Animal. Two lions spotting each other on the savannah."
Monica nced between Joey and Chandler, sensing the static in the air. "What''s going on between you two?"
Joey crossed his arms, clearly annoyed. "Chandler said I embarrassed him."
Charlie leaned back in his chair, grinning. "Exactly like n."
n blinked. "Wait, what did I do?"
Charlie patted him on the shoulder. "You exist. It''s enough."
Monica raised an eyebrow, looking amused. "So... this is your family?"
I groaned. "Unfortunately, yes. And we brought our chaos across the ocean just for this wedding."
¡ª¡ª¡ª
A clinking of a fork on ss silenced the room. Chandler stood up, awkwardly holding his champagne ss.
"I''d like to toast Ross and Emily," he began. "Of course, my big toast will be tomorrow at the wedding, so this is kind of my little toast... or Melba toast, if you will."
(No oneughed. Silence.)
Chandler cleared his throat, visibly flustered.
"Okay. I''ve known Ross for a long time. In fact, I knew him when he was going out with his first girlfriend."
(Ross looked mortified.)
"And I thought things were going to work out for him... until the day he over-inted her."
Chandlerughed. No one else did. Jack Geller nced awkwardly at Judy.
"Oh dear God..." Chandler muttered.
A cell phone rang in the distance.
"And I''m sure we''re all very excited that Ross and Emily are getting married at Montgomery Hall. I mean, to think¡ªmy friend getting married in Monty Hall."
(Still nothing.)
"Ohe on! Monty Hall! Let''s Make a Deal! Come on, you people!!"
He paused, gave up.
"All right, forget it. Congrattions, Ross and Emily."
He sat down, face redder than his wine.
I nced at Charlie, who winced and muttered, "Oof."
"Yeah," I said, "that hurt to watch."
Without even touching my fork to a ss, I slowly stood up. "Well, after that silence, I don''t think I even need to clink anything."
There were a few muffledughs.
"I don''t know Ross that well. Maybe for... a little more than half an hour now," I began. "But I already feel a weird connection. Like... he reminds me of my dad."
That got some chuckles
"So when I heard he got engaged after dating for six weeks, I actually said out loud: ''That''s totally something my dad would do!'' "
Now there was realughter. Especially from Uncle Charlie and Gramma
"And tonight," I continued, "I discovered another simrity between them: both of their first marriages ended... because their wives turned out to be lesbians. How cool is that?"
That onended. The whole room burst intoughter. Monica nearly choked on her drink. Charlie and Evelyn ware pping the table. Dad and Ross, on the other hand, were looking daggers to me
I raised my ss. "To Ross and Emily¡ªmay this one work out a little better."
The room echoed with clinks of sses and continuedughter. For once, I wasn''t just part of the chaos¡ªI was the one who tamed it.
Chapter 20: The One with Ross’s Wedding II
Chapter 20 - The One with Ross''s Wedding II
Chapter 20
Theughter was still dying down when Dad leaned toward me, his smile tight and whisper-sharp. "You embarrassed me in front of everyone."
I didn''t skip a beat. "Now you know how we felt this afternoon."
Charlie snorted into his drink. "He''s got you there, n."
Monica, still wiping a tear ofughter from her eye, turned to Chandler and said with a grin, "Maybe we should trade you for Jake."
Chandler looked at her, wounded. "Wow. Betrayed at my own rehearsal dinner."
Joey leaned over from the other side of the table. "Hey, at least he gotughs. I''m starting to like the kid. Got good timing."
Charlie raised his ss toward Joey. "Finally, someone who recognizes talent."
Evelyn smirked. "He''s not wrong about you, n."
Dad threw his hands up. "What is this? Roast n day?"
"Every day is roast n day," Charlie said.
Monica giggled and looked at me. "Seriously, Jake, you handled that like a pro. You ever think about stand-up?"
I shrugged. "Only if I can follow Chandler at every gig."
Laughter rippled again through the table. Chandler gave a mock bow. "You''re all monsters."
¡ª¡ª¡ª
Later that night, I went to grab a soda and saw Charlie at the bar¡ªhis arm around a new woman I hadn''t seen before. Blonde, short red dress, bigugh. Definitely not Monica.
When she got up and walked toward the restroom, I wandered over.
"So... what happened to Monica?" I asked.
Charlie casually sipped his drink. "She started talking about kids and marriage. You know, future stuff."
I raised an eyebrow. "And that scared you off?"
He nodded. "Red g, kid. Huge one. I like Monica, but once the ''how many kids do you want'' talk shows up, I''m out. Then this one shows up..."
He gestured toward the bathroom door where the new girl had disappeared.
"Timing is everything."
I shook my head. "Unbelievable."
Charlie just grinned. "Wee to London."
¡ª¡ª¡ª
The next day, we were seated in the church for the big moment. Evelyn, Dad, and I sat together, all dressed up. Out of the three of us, Dad was easily the most excited.
"Oh, look at the floral arrangements! Very tasteful," he whispered.
Then a momentter, "Eh, not sure about the chair bows. Bit much, don''t you think?"
I leaned over to gramma and whispered, "And he says my mom is the gay one."
She nearly choked, trying not tough.
Dad looked around. "Where''s Charlie?"
Just then, a bridesmaid walked down the aisle¡ªarm in arm with none other than Charlie Harper.
I pointed. "There he is."
Dad scoffed. "Of course."
The music faded and the minister stepped up.
"Friends. Family. We are gathered here today to celebrate the joyous union of Ross and Emily. May the happiness we share with them today be with them always."
The room grew still.
"Now Emily, repeat after me. I, Emily..."
"I, Emily..."
"Take thee, Ross..."
"Take thee, Ross..."
"As mywfully wedded husband, in sickness and in health, till death parts us."
"As mywfully wedded husband, in sickness and in health, till death parts us."
Then it was Ross''s turn.
"Now Ross, repeat after me. I, Ross..."
"I, Ross..."
"Take thee, Emily..."
"Take thee, Rachel..."
The room froze. Gasps echoed. Everyone''s faces twisted in shock.
Even Ross''s eyes widened. "Emily! I meant Emily," he blurted out,ughing nervously.
The minister blinked, clearly unsure. "Uh... shall I go on?"
From behind me, I heard someone whisper, "He said Rachel, right? Should I... go up there?"
I turned and saw Rachel Green¡ªJennifer Aniston herself¡ªjust a few feet back. I blinked. "Yes. You should. At least it''ll save money on the next wedding," I muttered.
Dad quickly pped a hand over my mouth.
Emily didn''t even flinch. She just looked straight ahead and said, "Yes. Yes, go on."
The minister cleared his throat. "I think we''d better start again. Ross, repeat after me. I, Ross..."
"I, Ross..."
"Take thee, EM-I-LY..."
"Emily." Ross shot him a look. "Like there''d be anybody else."
The air remained tense.
"As mywfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health, till death parts us."
Ross mumbled through it: "As mywfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health, until death parts us. Really, I do. Emily." He even pointed at her, as if that would fix it.
"May I have the rings?"
The rings were passed. Emily shoved his on with extra force.
"Emily, ce this ring on Ross''s finger as a symbol of your bond evesting."
Done.
"Ross, ce this ring on Emily''s hand as a symbol of the love that encircles you forever."
Ross fumbled but got it on. "Happy to."
"Ross and Emily have made their derations, and it gives me great pleasure to dere them husband and wife."
Ross beamed. "Yay!"
"You may now kiss the bride."
He leaned in. Emily turned her head. He got her cheek.
From in front of us, Mrs. Geller leaned toward her husband and muttered, "This is worse than when he married the lesbian."
The band started ying. The awkward energy lingered.
Ross reached for Emily''s hand. She yanked it away.
"Just keep smiling," she hissed.
Ross nodded quickly. "Okay."
Dad blinked at Evelyn. "Why are you smiling, mom?"
She tilted her head. "Well, for once, someone else embarrassed themselves... and not a single Harper was involved."
I nodded. "Gramma has a point."
Chapter 21: The One with Ross’s Wedding III
Chapter 21 - The One with Ross''s Wedding III
Chapter 21
The reception dinner was being held at Emily''s parents'' estate¡ªa beautiful, ivy-covered mansion that looked like it belonged in a movie. The kind of ce that made you instinctively check your shoes for mud before walking in.
As we arrived, I spotted them¡ªfive of them. Ross, Monica, Chandler, Joey, and Rachel. Standing just in from the bathroom door, looking collectively awkward. I couldn''t help but think, Man, it''s a shame Phoebe isn''t here toplete the infamous six.
They looked like they''d stepped off a TV screen. It was surreal.
Inside, guests milled about, wine sses clinking and polite conversations floating through the air. Ross tried to keep smiling as people approached him with forced congrattions.
Mr. Geller pped Ross on the back as they reached the hall. "Boy, bad time to say the wrong name, huh Ross?"
Ross said, incredulous, "That''s true. Thanks, Dad."
Then, in a burst of nervous energy, he turned to the room. "People should be dancing! Huh? Hey, this is a party! Come on! Joey, dance!"
Joey started to dance awkwardly but stopped when no one else joined him.
Evelyn took a sip of her champagne and said dryly, "There isn''t even a proper chair to sit on," her tone disapproving.
Charlie walked by, eyeing Ross''s retreat. "Well, at least it''ll make for a memorable wedding video. Or a cautionary tale."
"Well, at least he already has a divorcewyer," I added.
n winced. "Can''t you all be supportive for once?"
I shrugged and nodded toward gramma. "She''s right, though. How are we supposed to cut into steak without a table?"
Just then, Joey passed by gnawing on a piece of meat with his hands.
Charlie raised an eyebrow and said, "Maybe we''re supposed to eat like monkeys. That would exin the vibe."
¡ª¡ª¡ª
After another thirty minutes of half-standing, half-bncing awkward conversations and lukewarm food, we decided to call it a night.
As we made our way toward the front entrance, just as Evelyn wasining about theck of valet service, I spotted movement from the side window.
Emily¡ªstill in her wedding dress¡ªwas climbing out of the window.
Charlie halted, raised both eyebrows, and opened his mouth to say something.
n immediately cut in, grabbing Charlie''s arm. "No."
Charlie turned to him. "What? I wasn''t going to say anything."
n gave him a look.
Charlie grinned. "Okay, but I was just thinking it."
Evelyn, without even looking up, muttered, "If the bride''s escaping through a window, I''d say the evening has peaked."
I just shook my head.
¡ª¡ª¡ª
Back at the hotel, n was still grumbling. "We didn''t need to switch hotels. This one is just fine."
Evelyn rolled her eyes. "If I wanted to sleep somewhere that smelled like mildew andpromise, I''d move back in with your dead father."
Charlie smirked. "Can''t argue with that."
After settling in and organizing our luggage, I offered to go check out the reservation.
As I stepped into the hallway and turned the corner, I stopped.
There they were: Monica and Chandler.
They quickly stepped apart when they noticed me, before realizing it was just me¡ªa kid.
Monica gave a sheepish smile and tried to recover. "Hey... nice hotel, huh?"
I didn''t say a word. Instead, I slowly lifted my fist and opened it, revealing a room key resting on my palm.
"A king-sized bed. No interruptions," I said casually.
They both blinked.
Chandler asked, "How much?"
I motioned for him to lean in, then handed over the key and murmured, "If you two get serious... maybe invite me to the wedding."
Chandler stood there speechless as Monica turned to him.
"What did he say?" she asked.
Still holding the key, Chandler replied tly, "Nothing."
As I walked away down the hallway, I muttered to myself, "There. Good deed of the day done." Then smirked under my breath. "No blue balls tonight... well, except for Ross."
¡ª¡ª¡ª
We reunited a few minutester in our new suite, and yeah¡ªit was definitely worth the upgrade. The Harper family was now lounging in soft, plush robes, scattered around a spacious, luxury hotel room that smelled faintly ofvender and new furniture. The view overlooked the Thames, the lights twinkling like some kind of postcard.
Charlie had already made himselffortable on the sofa, sipping something expensive. "Now this is more like it," he said, stretching his legs. "No brides escaping out windows here."
Evelyn, sitting near the firece flipping through a magazine, muttered, "Finally, a room that doesn''t look like it was decorated by a blind ountant."
n came out of the bathroom, eyes wide. "The towels are heated! Why don''t we always stay in ces like this?"
Charlie looked at him, deadpan. "Because you usually book the rooms, n."
"I''m just trying to be financially responsible," n said defensively.
"Than you should start paying too, n" said Charlie
"Responsible''s great," I said, settling into an armchair with a huge pillow behind my back. "But this? This is how you recover from a chaotic wedding."
Gramma nodded. "Even a Harper deservesfort once in a while."
Charlie raised his ss toward me. "Cheers to that."
¡ª¡ª¡ª
Later, we ended up sprawled across the room like royalty in exile. Charlie had found the minibar and was narrating the menu like it was poetry.
"Imported choctes, champagne, macadamia nuts... this ce knows how to treat emotionally damaged guests."
n flipped through the hotel''s wee binder like it was a novel. "They have twenty-four-hour room service. You know what that means?"
Charlie raised an eyebrow. "That you''ll order soup at three a.m.?"
"I was thinking tea," n muttered, clearly undeterred.
Evelyn sighed. "Men with money don''t excite me. Men who know when to shut up? Now that impresses me."
We all look to her, not buying the first phase
I chuckled and reached for the remote. "Let''s see if British TV is as weird as they say."
Chapter 22: NOTICE
Chapter 22 - NOTICE
Hey guys, the author here.
First of all, thank you for your support. I hope you are enjoying it.
Some of you may have noticed that I didn''t answer any questions. To be fair, I had no interaction of any kind. I have a well-paid job, but that takes up a lot of my time. Add to that: reading, hanging out with friends, and other stuff, and there''s not much time left. And that time, I want to spend writing (let''s be honest, that''s what most people here want). So, I''m sorry if I didn''t give any attention.
Some considerations:
There are some characters who became really creepy: n and Rose (especially thetter).
Charlie became excessively grumpy in theter episodes and made some questionable decisions.
Judith is hard to like throughout the entire series.
I will tone down some of it and change others.
So, no Charlie death (unless, by some miracle, we make it to something like 2040). I don''t think Jake needs this kind of development, nor do I want to write that much drama (and I don''t think I''m good at it. At most, I know how to writeedy ¡ª and that''s what I expect it to be,edy. There will be drama, serious moments, and other stuff, but at the end of the day, I hope it will beedy).
Spoiler: In the next Chapters, Jake will go to therapy, so it will be more serious.
I''ve already written up to Chapter 35, but I will only post 5 per week. That gives me a buffer, so if I get blocked, I''ll have some time.
I''m thinking about Patreon, but the thing is: I can''t and won''t promise regr Chapters, nor my interaction there, nor influence on the story. Basically, you''ll read the Chapters sooner. It''s up to you to decide if it''s worth it. I''ll post here anyway.
/MHJunior
I will not stop writing because of the money. I will stop if I not enjoying writing anymore, or the story bes dull
About the MC (Jake):
1: Jake will not be a master at everything. He is smart, he knows about investments, he knows how to sing, he knows how to flirt, and that''s it. No master chef, no genius who will revolutionize science, no master actor, no master CEO (at most, he will delegate to someonepetent), no master in sports. He will even be below average in some things.
2: I don''t think he can be much more intelligent than I am. I''ve read some novels where the MC was praised as an incredible prodigy, incredibly intelligent, and then did many dumb things. So, if Jake''s concept of life, knowledge, or decisions seems dumb, well, I have my own limitations.
3: I love novels with songs (Re: Modern Family is the top for it). But Jake became famous too soon will disrupt the story. My idea is he be like Marshmello, and when he bes adult, he shows himself. I''m open to sugestion about it.
4: I don''t know about pairing. But there will be a Jake x Tori. I know what you want, you know what you want, we know what you want. I might write now adult Jake x adult Tori and save it (so if the story doesn''t go that far ¨C Jake is only ten ¨C at least we have one of the rtionships that I want)
Thank You,
MassaHJ
Chapter 23: therapist I
Chapter 23 - therapist I
We were finally back in Malibu.
As great as London had been¡ªbridal escapes, awkward dinners, Friends episodes, and luxury hotel suites¡ªnothing beat thefort of being home. The ocean breeze was familiar again, and so was the sight of Charlie passed out on the patio chair with sunsses still on.
School was wrapping up for the year, and it was smooth sailing for me. Final grades wereing in, and I''d aced everything. Straight A''s. Not that it was surprising, considering most of the material felt like a review from a previous life.
At dinner, I brought it up casually.
"I was thinking," I said, between bites of grilled chicken, "maybe I could skip a few grades."
n nearly dropped his fork. "What?" His face froze in surprise, like he had misheard me.
Charlie leaned back in his chair, amused. "Well, he is smarter than you already. Might as well fast-forward."
Evelyn sipped her wine and nodded. "It would be a waste to keep him bored with children who think long division is advanced."
n blinked a few more times, then slowly nodded. "Ohh... that actually makes sense. Sometimes I forget you''re still in sixth grade. You just don''t talk like a kid."
"I''ve already talked with the school counselor," I said. "They want me to take some tests, just to make sure."
n rubbed his forehead, still adjusting. "But... skipping grades? That''s a big leap. Socially, emotionally¡ª"
"I''ll manage," I said. "Honestly, I''m wasting time where I am now. Might as well push forward."
Charlie raised his ss. "Here''s to our little prodigy!"
Gramma gave me a rare approving look. "At least one Harper is doing something right."
I smirked. "Thanks. I''ll keep the family average up."
¡ª¡ª¡ª
The next day, the school called again. They said part of the process for skipping grades required a psychological evaluation¡ªnot just to check if I was intellectually ready, but to see if I could handle it emotionally and socially.
Judith had actually wanted me to see a therapist before, back when she and Dad were separating. She was worried the whole thing might be affecting me more than I let on. Of course, Dad was against it. "Therapy? For what? He''s fine."
Typical.
They never brought it up directly. I remembered seeing a therapist a few times in my past life, and it had actually been kind of nice. I''dpletely forgotten how much I appreciated the calm.
"Actually," I said, thinking aloud to n, "can you ask them to book the whole day for the evaluation?"
n frowned. "The whole day?"
"Yeah. I want to talk properly. No rush."
The school gave a name: Dr. Linda Freeman.
"ording to Mom, she''s pretty well-regarded," I added.
n nodded slowly. "Yeah, well... she better be. She charges $175 an hour."
I shrugged. "I''d pay ten times that if it''s worth it."
Charlie, walking by with a drink, smirked. "I''ve paid ten times that per hour." Then, leaning closer to n, he murmured, "But not to a therapist."
n didn''t even blink. "You are a pig."
¡ª¡ª¡ª
Dr. Linda Freeman''s office was tucked into a quiet building overlooking the Pacific. Her waiting room was calm and minimal¡ªsoft gray walls, sunlight filtering throughrge windows, the scent of eucalyptus in the air. The kind of ce designed to make you breathe slower.
She opened the door herself. "Jake?"
I stood up and offered a polite nod. "Nice to meet you."
She smiled warmly. "Come on in."
Her office was cozy, not overly clinical. Bookshelves, afortable couch, a few abstract paintings on the wall. She gestured for me to take a seat.
"I read your school file," she began as she settled into her chair. "Impressive scores. Sounds like you''ve had quite the year."
"You have no idea," I said. "Calling it ''quite a year'' doesn''t even begin to cover it."
She raised an eyebrow, amused. "You booked me for the whole day. We''ve got until 5 p.m."
I nced at the clock¡ªjust after 9 a.m. I hadn''t even had breakfast. That gave us nearly seven hours, not counting lunch.
"And I get the feeling," she continued, "you didn''te here just to talk about skipping grades or your parents'' divorce."
"d to know you''re sharp. I''m paying three grand for this," I said with a half-smirk.
Her eyebrows lifted slightly.
"And when I say ''I,'' I mean it literally came out of my pocket. I know you charge $175 an hour, which makes $1,225 for seven hours, and I paid nearly two and a half times that to clear your day."
"Okay," she said, clearly intrigued now. Not every day a ten-year-old talks like awyer.
"Well then, let''s start with what brought you here. We''ll get into emotional readiness as we go. Let''s begin with the divorce."
"There''s not much to say. Would I prefer them together? Sure. Do I think it''s realistic? Not really. They don''t work as a couple, and honestly, I don''t think it would be good for either of them."
"Why not?" Dr. Freeman asked.
"For starters, my mom might be gay. She''s notpletely sure yet, and considering she''s nearly forty, that says something. My dad? He''s... difficult. Just as wed as she is."
"Do you hate them?" she asked, slightly concerned by my blunt tone.
"No. I love them, in my own way. There was a time when I resented them. I still think they''re deeply wed people. Maybe even below average in a lot of ways." I paused. "My mom walks around like the world owes her something. She can act like a Karen sometimes. She''s not particrly good at anything and doesn''t seem interested in improving. She doesn''t have many real friendships. Honestly, if she died tomorrow, I''m not sure many people would miss her."
Dr. Freeman blinked but didn''t speak.
"My dad? He''s stingy. Hypocritical, pretentious, sometimes maniptive. He sometimes avoids taking responsibility and mes someone else."
"But despite all that, they love me. They care deeply. And sometimes I feel ashamed or guilty because I struggle to return that love the way they deserve."
"''Honor your father and mother.'' Exodus 20:12," I added. I wasn''t a religious person in my past life. But when you get reborn, you have to rethink a few things.
"Sometimes, I think it''s because I see myself as superior. Better than them. Vanitas vanitatum, et omnia vanitas¡ª''Vanity of vanities, all is vanity.'' In the end, I''m not so different. I just hide my ws better."
Dr. Freeman leaned forward slightly, her expression thoughtful now instead of shocked. "That''s a lot of insight for someone your age. And even more honesty than most adults can manage."
I didn''t say anything. I just waited.
"You talk about love as something that needs to be earned or deserved," she continued. "But you also recognize the gap between how much they love you and how much you feel capable of giving back. That''s not cold. That''s self-awareness."
She paused. "You don''tck empathy, Jake. If anything, you feel too much. You just don''t know where to ce it yet."
------
Support Link: https:///c/MHJunior
Chapter 24: therapist II
Chapter 24 - therapist II
I shifted slightly in my seat, letting her words settle in the silence. Then I said, "I''m not so sure I can agree with you. I don''t think I''m an empathetic person."
Dr. Freeman tilted her head, letting me continue without interruption.
"Most of the time, I despise weakness. I look at people struggling¡ªpeople who can''t seem to get it together¡ªand I feel... disgust more than sympathy. And sometimes, I know it''s not even their fault."
She leaned back slightly, hands resting gently on the arms of her chair. "Go on."
"I can rationalize that circumstances y a part, sure. Bad luck, bad parents, bad health. But that doesn''t stop the feeling. I don''t admire people for enduring¡ªI admire people for rising. For dominating their situation. Everyone else just feels like background noise."
Dr. Freeman remained quiet, studying me carefully. "That sounds like contempt disguised as strength. But I don''t think you truly despise weakness, Jake. I think you fear bing it."
That hit a little closer than I liked.
"I''ve spent so long analyzing people," I said, voice steady. "Trying to understand them, categorize them. Weak, strong. Useful, irrelevant. It''s efficient, sure. But maybe not human."
"And yet here you are," she said softly, "talking to a stranger about the very things most adults never say out loud. That doesn''te from apathy. That''s the voice of someone who cares so deeply, he has to protect himself behind intellect."
I looked at her. Really looked. "I still don''t agree. I don''t think I care deeply. I just know I can''t say these opinions out loud. And maybe I''m here because a part of me wants someone to witness some of my demons."
I paused for a moment before continuing.
"More than that, I believe¡ªas Machiavelli did¡ªthat between being and appearing, it''s more important to appear. Because few people can ever truly know who you are. And I still want to appear morally superior. And in professional and personal terms, appearances matter a lot."
Dr. Freeman gave a slow, thoughtful nod. "Yes, appearances do matter. They shape how we''re perceived, how we''re treated, even the opportunities we''re given. But they''re not the whole picture."
She leaned forward slightly. "Let me ask you this, Jake. If someone truly knew you¡ªsaw behind the mask, saw your demons, your calctions, your fears¡ªand still epted you... would that matter to you?"
"Yes, obviously. Maybe that person would be one of my best friends. Maybe even my best friend," I said, then added in French, "Parce que c''¨¦tait lui, parce que c''¨¦tait moi."
"''Because it was he, because it was I.'' It''s a Montaigne phrase about ¨¦tienne. For me, one of the best definitions of friendship. He isn''t my friend because he agrees with me, or because we like the same things, or because we''re alike. He''s my friend simply because he is who he is, and I am who I am. Not a mirror. Not an echo in a bubble. And we like each other not because of, but in spite of."
Dr. Freeman smiled gently. "That''s beautifully put. And I think you just described the kind of connection every human being secretly longs for, whether they admit it or not. Do you have any friends like that?"
"No," I said quietly. "Not in that definition. One of the reasons I want to move ahead is the hope that maybe, just maybe, I''ll meet someone who sees the world even remotely like I do."
She nodded, her expression softening. "It''s not wrong to want connection, Jake. And wanting to surround yourself with people who challenge and inspire you doesn''t make you cold. It means you''re ready for more."
I exhaled slowly, my posture rxing just a bit.
"I hope so," I said. "Because if not... then I''m just skipping ahead to more loneliness, only in a different ssroom."
Dr. Freeman was silent for a moment. Then she said, "That fear... that you''ll outpace others only to find yourself even more isted¡ªthat''s valid. But what you''re forgetting is that growth also expands your possibilities. Not just intellectually. Emotionally, too."
"Yeah, I think so too."
She looked at me for a moment, then asked, "Have you ever considered going even further?"
I raised an eyebrow. "Further how?"
"Like college, for instance," she said. "You''re clearly more advanced than most high school students. Honestly, a lot of adults couldn''t articte some of the things you''ve expressed today."
"Yes, I''ve thought about it," I replied. "But here''s the thing¡ªI''m way beyond my peers. I can solve integrals and derivatives, college-level math problems. But I will never solve a Diophantine equation, the Riemann Hypothesis or Goldbach''s Conjecture. I''m far ahead right now, but give it a few years, and the true geniuses wille along and surpass me by miles, way beyond my capacity."
I paused, then added, "It''s like Salieri and Mozart. Salieri worked hard and was considered one of the greatest pianists of his time. But Mozart was Mozart. And it''s Mozart we remember."
"And the socialization would be even harder because of the age gap. If I''m not going to be Mozart... is the sacrifice really worth it?"
Dr. Freeman nodded thoughtfully. "But that thinking assumes your value is tied only to being the very best in the room. What if it''s enough to be excellent in your own right¡ªeven if someone else is a genius?"
I didn''t respond at first. Then I said, "I think I''d be okay with that, but only if I had a real passion for it. I don''t have a passion for math. I don''t feel refreshed after studying it. So, if I''m not going to be the next Gauss, I don''t think it''s worth the sacrifice. And that includes most other subjects too."
I leaned back slightly. "What I really love is economics¡ªespecially finance and investment. Not the theoretical stuff. I love studying markets. I love investing. And, ironically... I''m already the best in the world."Not because of raw talent, but because of my past life. Funny how that works. Maybe when God hates you enough, He gives you what you once prayed for. If I ever prayed to be the best investor in the world, now I''m.
Dr. Freeman raised an eyebrow, curious.
------
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Chapter 25: therapist III
Chapter 25 - therapist III
I leaned back slightly. "What I really love is economics¡ªespecially finance and investment. Not the theoretical stuff. I love studying markets. I love investing. And, ironically... I''m already the best in the world."
Dr. Freeman raised an eyebrow, clearly intrigued.
I gave a slight shrug, a smirk tugging at the corner of my mouth. "I know it sounds arrogant. Maybe it is. But I understand how the system works. I see patterns. I can predict behavior¡ªnot because I''m special, but because I pay attention. Believe it or not, give me ten years, and I''ll be on the cover of Forbes."
"But you don''t sound proud of it," she said. "I''ve never interviewed Shaquille O''Neal, but I know what pride sounds like."
I nodded. "I''ve made peace with it."
Still, it never felt like something I had truly earned. Back when I worked in finance, I had no problem epting praise for wins that were mostly due to luck or randomness¡ªso maybe I''m morefortable with this than I let on.
Dr. Freeman leaned forward slightly, watching me. "You''re not ready to talk about all of it, are you?"
I shook my head.
This is the one thing I''ll never talk about¡ªnot with her, not with anyone. My past life stays mine.
"Have you ever spoken to anyone about what we''ve discussed here?" she asked.
"No," I said quietly.
"So I''m the first?" she asked, a yful tone in her voice. "Do you trust me that much?"
"Yes and no," I answered. "Yes, I trust that you''ll keep what needs to stay private, private. Confidentiality is fundamental in your profession. You''d risk more than I would by breaking that trust. And from what I''ve seen, you genuinely care about your work. But no, I haven''t told you anything that could actuallypromise me. Maybe it''d cause some headaches if it leaked, but nothing I couldn''t redirect."
I allowed a quick grin. "Besides, I''ve still got the ten-year-old card to y. Worst case? I chalk it up to confusion. People are quick to believe a kid just misunderstood something."
Dr. Freeman gave a shortugh, but her eyes remained focused. "That''s an impressive level of foresight for someone your age."
"It''s not foresight," I replied. "It''s risk management."
She nodded slowly. "Fair enough."
"I have to say," she continued, her smile widening, "this session went far beyond what I expected. We''ve clearly established that you''re handling the divorce without any psychological issues beyond the typical, and that you''re more than capable¡ªemotionally and intellectually¡ªto skip as many grades as needed. And the most interesting part? It''s not even lunchtime yet."
She leaned back in her chair, still smiling. "I''m genuinely curious about what else we''ll uncover."
I let out a genuineugh. "You look like me when I find a hidden gem in the stock market. So,dies first. Shoot."
She chuckled softly. "So, tell me, Jake. What do you want for your future?"
I raised an eyebrow. "Starting with one of the toughest ones, huh?"
I held up my hand and counted with my fingers. "I could sum it up in five words: To have a sessful life. That''s it."
Then I added, "And for me, that''s synonymous with a happy life."
Linda nodded. "borate more."
"I could go through the concept of a sessful life from the lens of ancient Greek philosophy, trace it through medieval thought, and bring it into the modern philosophicalndscape. But in the end, for me, only the individual can say whether their life was sessful or not. It''s not about money, fame, or power. Someone might feel incredibly fulfilled being a janitor, while another person could feel like aplete failure as the CEO of a major corporation."
"It''s like in Tolstoy''s book, The Death of Ivan Ilyich. A man who had everything society defines as a ''sessful life''¡ªstatus, wealth, reputation¡ªlies on his deathbed and wonders, ''Was that all there is?'' That''s not sess. That''s regret. And for me, that''s the definition of a wasted life."
"So to answer your question," I continued, "I want to read as many great books as possible. I want to taste the finest things money can buy. I want to have incredible rtionships. And most importantly¡ªI want to look back one day and say it was all worth it."
Dr. Freeman smiled gently. "That''s beautifully said. And very self-aware. You''re not just chasing sess¡ªyou''re defining it on your terms. That''s rare, Jake."
"Thanks," I replied, my voice softer.
We talked untilte afternoon. When we finally wrapped up, the clock showed nearly 5 p.m.
"This has been productive," Dr. Freeman said as she closed her notebook. "Jake, I think it would be valuable for you to continue these sessions."
"I agree," I said immediately. "But I''d like two hours per week. One feels too short."
She gave a shortugh. "Most kids can barely sit still for thirty minutes. But I think that suits you."
I left her office feeling clear-headed, almost energized.
When I got back to Charlie''s house, both he and Dad were in the kitchen.
Charlie looked up. "So? How was therapy? Did she fix your twisted little brain?"
n red at him. "Charlie!"
I dropped my backpack on the floor. "It went well. We''ll keep meeting. I asked for two hours a week."
n blinked. "Two hours?"
Charlie poured himself a drink. "Kid''s aiming for a PhD in psychology now."
I smirked. "No, I just like good conversation. And she''s one of the few people who actually knows how to listen."
Charlie raised his ss. "Here''s to finding the one person in Malibu who listens."
Chapter 26: Stepping Up
Chapter 26 - Stepping Up
Chapter 25
After everything with Dr. Linda, I knew it was time. So, I made it official: I was skipping to ninth grade, the start of high school. No more sixth grade, no more noisy brats.
To celebrate, we had dinner out¡ªsomece fancy enough that n needed to put on an actual zer. He kept fidgeting with the sleeves like they were attacking him.
"You know," he said between bites of overcooked salmon, "Dr. Freeman said you were intellectually ready to go straight to college if you wanted. She signed off on that in her report."
Across the table, Evelyn nodded approvingly. "Harvard would love to have you. You could skip all the meaningless teenage drama."
I almostughed into my water. "I''m not going to college yet."
n looked surprised. "Why not?"
"Because I don''t want to be that kid who rushes through life just because he can. Besides, I told Dr. Freeman¡ªI want a sessful life, not just a fast one."
I leaned back in my chair, watching Evelyn raise one perfectly plucked eyebrow.
"Also," I continued, "I''m not going to lie¡ªelite colleges demand effort. Real effort. I might be smart, but even I''d have to work like crazy to keep up. I''m not going to blow my one shot at enjoying high school just to jump ahead and burn out."
Evelyn gave a thoughtful nod. "Smart. But don''t wait too long. The world doesn''t slow down for anyone, darling."
Charlie, sitting at the end of the table with a martini in hand, raised his ss. "Let''s be honest here¡ªJake''s already richer than n ever was. He could stop now and still be ahead of most people in this family."
Evelyn chuckled. "Charlie, don''t insult my genius grandson with such a low bar."
n huffed. "Thanks, Mom. Always good to feel appreciated."
Judith, who had been quiet until then, set down her wine ss and looked at me. Her voice softened. "Just promise me one thing, Jake. Don''t let all this pressure steal your childhood. I know you''re capable¡ªbut you''re still a kid. Don''t forget to be one."
I nodded. "I won''t, Mom."
Just then, n''s phone started vibrating on the table. He picked it up and answered, his expression shifting to curiosity.
"Yes, this is n... Oh, hi, Dean Spencer. Yes, we just finished discussing Jake''s school cement over dinner. Uh-huh..."
There was a pause. n raised his eyebrows.
"You said what? Two other kids Jake''s age will be in college?" he repeated.
The table grew quiet.
n continued, "Really? Both are twelve? Wow. Well, that''s... that''s impressive. You think Jake should meet them?"
He nced at me. "Apparently the Dean thinks meeting a couple of prodigies might give you a new perspective. Maybe even change your mind."
I leaned forward, curiosity piqued. "Who are they?"
n listened for a second longer, then looked at me and smiled faintly. "Sheldon Cooper and Paige Swanson."
My eyes widened. Sheldon Cooper? The name instantly triggered something. I remembered The Big Bang Theory, and vaguely Young Sheldon, even though I never actually watched the prequel.
Of course it would be him. The genius. The future Nobel prize. The weirdo.
I leaned back, exhaling slowly. "All right. I''ll meet them." I was trying to remember who the hell Paige is. I don''t remember her in The Big Bang Theory.
Charlie raised an eyebrow. "Really? Thought you weren''t looking to be swayed."
"I''m not," I said. "But it''s always good to know what you''re turning down."
Grandma smiled approvingly. "That''s very mature of you. Which makes it even weirder that he''s rted to n."
n sighed. "Can we not?"
¡ª¡ª¡ª
The next day, Dad drove me across Los Angeles to a quiet suburban neighborhood. The address belonged to Mary and George Cooper¡ªSheldon''s parents.
We were greeted at the door by a polite, smiling woman who introduced herself in a thick Texas ent. "Hi, y''all must be the Harpers. Come on in. Sheldon''s upstairs in his room with Paige."
n raised an eyebrow at that but said nothing.
Mary led me to the stairs. "Just head on up. Second door on the right."
I walked up, curious. When I reached the door, it was open just enough to hear voices.
"Statistically, the likelihood of a ten-year-old sessfully managing a quantum entanglement equation is less than 0.02%," said a familiar nasally voice.
"You''re forgetting the sub-variable shift on the third coefficient," Paige replied.
I pushed the door open gently.
Sheldon was scribbling furiously on a whiteboard covered in equations. Paige was sitting cross-legged on the floor, flipping through a quantum physics textbook like it was light reading.
Both looked up as I entered.
"Well," Paige said, smirking. "Took you long enough."
Sheldon frowned. "You''rete. But since punctuality isn''t a consistent trait among California natives, I''ve decided not to hold it against you¡ªthis time."
I raised an eyebrow. "Nice to see you too, Sheldon." I smirked. "Hey, I''m Jake Harper," I said, offering a handshake.
"Paige Swanson," she replied with a smile, shaking my hand.
Sheldon pointed at the board. "You may take a seat¡ªpreferably not near the window, as light reflection interferes with my calctions. We''re currently debating the application of quantum coherence to next-genputing systems."
I nced at the whiteboard. Equations danced across it like alien hieroglyphics. My eyes started to twist just trying to follow the flow. Oh... that''s what true genius looks like¡ªunderstanding just enough to know how much I didn''t know.
Then Sheldon suddenly straightened. "Now that you''re here, I can give you the official tour."
He walked to the far corner of the room, pointing like a docent at a museum exhibit.
"Over here, we have my desk. This is myputer. That''s my mouse. This is my printer. This is the paper that goes in the printer. This is a box of extra paper."
I exchanged a nce with Paige, who looked like she was holding back augh.
"And this," Sheldon said with a proud flourish, pointing to a photo in a small frame on the desk, "is my signed picture of Professor Proton. Limited edition. Laminated for preservation."
I approached him and gave a light p on the shoulder¡ªdespite being the same age, I was a lot taller. "You are the most intelligent dumbass I''ve ever met," I said in a condescending tone.
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Chapter 27: Geniuses
Chapter 27 - Geniuses
Chapter 26
Sheldon froze at my words, blinking rapidly.
"Excuse me," he said, genuinely offended. "There is a fundamental contradiction in the phrase ''most intelligent dumbass.'' It''s a paradox. You cannot logically be both simultaneously."
I turned toward Paige and shrugged. "See? Most intelligent dumbass."
Paige burst intoughter, nearly tipping over from where she sat on the floor.
Sheldon folded his arms. "Mockery is the lowest form of argument. I expected more from a fellow academic."
"Yeah," I said, grinning. "But it''s also the most fun."
Paige added, still chuckling, "You''ll get used to him. He takes everything literally. Including sarcasm, which is a daily challenge."
"I understand sarcasm," Sheldon interjected defensively. "I just find it a crude and unnecessary form ofmunication."
"Which," I said, "makes you even more fun to mess with."
Despite his indignation, Sheldon couldn''t help the curious twitch of his mouth¡ªlike he was trying not to smile.
"So," I said, leaning back in the chair again, "what''s next on the genius agenda?"
Sheldon lit up immediately. "Do you know how to y chess?"
We brought out a board, and within minutes, we were locked into a game. Paige sat off to the side, watching.
The match moved fast¡ªSheldon ying with confident speed, barely hesitating before each move. But he yed like a kid. Smart, definitely. Calcting, sure. But overly aggressive. Predictable. He was used to ying people who got overwhelmed by his knowledge, not people who could actually read the board.
Chess isn''t just about raw IQ. Intelligence helps, no doubt, especially at the highest level. But strategy, patience, timing, and positioning¡ªthose matter just as much. Maybe more.
I remembered ying in college tournaments back in my past life. I wasn''t a grandmaster or anything, but I knew how to beat a 12-year-old genius who thought three moves ahead and assumed no one else could do the same.
Ten minutester, I moved my queen into position.
"Checkmate," I said casually.
Sheldon''s head jerked back like I had pped him. "What?"
Paige looked up from her tablet and smirked. "Told you not to underestimate the new guy."
Sheldon leaned over the board, studying it intensely, and then sat back with a huff.
"I was distracted," he muttered.
"Of course you were," I said with a grin.
Paigeughed again. "You''re never going to live this down."
"I demand a rematch," Sheldon said.
"Anytime," I replied, then added, "But maybe y with Paige this round. I''ll go say hello to the rest of the family."
I left the room and headed to the backyard, where I saw a boy with curly hair and a casual stance, and a girl¡ªmaybe fourteen¡ªsitting on a bench. Standing next to her was a girl who looked the same age as me.
"Hi guys, I''m Jake Harper," I said, introducing myself.
"Hey," said George Cooper, ncing over. "Shouldn''t you be inside with the little geniuses?"
I shrugged. "Nah, I''m good."
"Erica Swanson," said the older girl, offering a polite nod. "Paige''s sister."
"Missy Cooper," added the other girl. "Sheldon''s twin."
"Really?" I asked, raising a brow. "Are you sure he''s from this?" I whispered, leaning closer to her.
Missy burst outughing¡ªa bright, melodic sound that felt instantly rewarding.
"Trust me," she said. "We ask ourselves the same thing every day."
Missy tilted her head and asked, "Why do grown-ups always do this? They love sticking random kids together and expecting them to just be friends."
"I know. I hate that," Erica agreed, her tone dry.
"Fresh Prince was right¡ª''Parents just don''t understand,''" George chimed in.
"I loved that song," said Erica with a smile.
"I had a cassette of it. But I recorded it off the radio," Missy said. "You can hear Sheldon in the background, talking about Sir Isaac Neutron."
Erica rolled her eyes. "My sister always talks about him, I don''t know why. I think he''s dead."
My eye twitched. ''Isaac Neutron?'' I thought.
A few minutester, George pulled out something from his backpack.
"Wanna blow up an old TV I found in the garage?" he asked casually.
Missy lit up. "Absolutely."
They invited me to join, and I figured¡ªwhy not?
We trekked around to the side yard where an ancient, dusty television stood next to a small firecracker setup.
George frowned. "We forgot the matches."
"I''ll go get some," Missy said.
"I''lle with you," I added, figuring someone should be responsible.
We walked back toward the house. As we rounded the side near the patio, we caught sight of Erica and George kissing.
Missy stopped mid-step. Her eyes widened, and then she turned slowly toward me with a raised eyebrow. Maybe expecting we do the same thing?!
I looked at her, then at the scene again. My brain froze for a second.
''What the hell are these kids learning nowadays?'' I thought, then flinted her forehead gently and muttered, "You''re only twelve."
Missy gave me a smirk, brushing her bangs back as if unbothered. "Yeah, and clearly the world''s not waiting."
I rolled my eyes. "Can we just get the matches?"
We grabbed the box from the kitchen drawer and made our way back, trying to unsee what we''d seen.
George and Erica had, thankfully, moved apart by the time we returned. George was fiddling with the firecracker again, trying to look very focused.
"Got the matches," Missy said tly.
"Awesome," George said a little too quickly.
We all took a few steps back as he lit the fuse. There was a quick spark... and then a loud POP! as the old TV erupted in a small explosion of sparks and stic, sending the screen shattering inward.
Missy pped. "That was awesome."
"Totally worth the risk of getting grounded," George added, brushing some dust off his shirt.
I stood there with my hands in my pockets, letting the smoke drift past me.
It was kind of chaotic. A little dangerous. Definitely not how I pictured spending the afternoon with child prodigies.
Omake:
(An older Sheldon Cooper voice narrates over a shback sequence:
"And that... that was the moment I met the richest person on the."
Cue a dramatic pause, as if expecting reverence.
"He wasn''t particrly brilliant. In fact, he isn''t now either."
Sheldon gives his famous short, nasalugh.
"But then he looked me right in the eyes and said: ''I could buy you a hadron collider, bro."
Pause.
"And that,dies and gentlemen, is how my moralpass waspromised in exchange for subatomic particles.")
Chapter 28: Class musical
Chapter 28 - ss musical
Chapter 27 ss musical
After the impromptu demolition of the old TV, the smoke still lingering in the air, we stood in awkward silence for a beat. George looked way too pleased with himself. Erica was pretending like she hadn''t just been caught kissing him, and Missy? She looked like she was trying to decide whether she was impressed or just mildly traumatized.
"Okay," I finally said. "That was fun."
Missy grinned. "Totally worth it."
Sheldon came storming out of the house just then, his hair slightly askew and arms stiff at his sides. "Why did I hear an explosion? Did someone breach the perimeter?!"
George pointed proudly. "We blew up a TV."
Sheldon blinked in horror. "That was vintage technology!"
"Rx," Missy said, "it was already broken."
"Still," Sheldon muttered, shaken. "That model had cathode ray tubes. You''re all monsters."
Paige strolled out behind him, smirking at the lingering smoke. "Cool. Next time, invite me. I would''ve brought something better than firecrackers."
Sheldon whipped around. "How can you condone this barbaric destruction of historical electronics?! There are museums that would''ve taken that television!"
"Orndfills," Missy said under her breath.
From the patio, n stepped out, rubbing his temples. "Alright, Jake," he called, "it''s time to go. Say your goodbyes."
I looked at the others and gave a small wave. "Thanks for the chaos. See you next time?"
"Definitely," Missy said with a wink.
As I turned to leave, Sheldon called out, "And maybe next time we can y chess rematches under controlled and nonbustible conditions!"
I gave him a thumbs up. "Sure!"
n opened the car door for me and muttered, "I''ve never been more grateful you''re my son."
"Was it the explosion or the lecture about cathode rays?" I asked.
"Both."
¡ª¡ª¡ª
The next day was the school''s annual science fair. With only a few days left in the academic year¡ªand me officially moving on to high school¡ªeveryone decided it was worth showing up.
Charlie came, reluctantly, wearing a Hawaiian shirt and sunsses, already asking where the snacks were. "So, Jake, what''s supposed to be interesting here?"
"Well..." I said, ncing around. There wasn''t much that qualified as interesting in the ssroom. Just what you''d expect from 12-year-olds: baking soda volcanoes, sr system models, and a few kids trying to grow mold on bread.
But then I spotted something¡ªor rather, someone¡ªwho might spark Charlie''s interest. "You could try your luck with Miss Tuttle," I said, nodding toward my teacher and giving him a look.
Charlie followed my gaze, raised an eyebrow, and cracked a sly smile. "Now that''s what I call chemistry."
Figures. It wasn''t the science that got him excited¡ªit was the ''experiments'' outside the sybus.
"She''s very strict," I added.
Charlie shrugged. "Sometimes that works."
I rolled my eyes and gestured for him to follow. I wasn''t going to be around much longer, so if he was going to mess things up, at least I wouldn''t have to deal with the aftermath.
"Hello, teacher. Have you met my uncle Charlie?" I asked, trying to sound smooth. It didn''tnd welling from a twelve-year-old.
Charlie introduced himself with his trademark grin. Miss Tuttle gave a polite nod, clearly unimpressed.
Before anything else could unfold, I heard a familiar voice behind me.
"I''m Judith Harper, the ss mom!" my mom announced cheerfully.
My dad pped, clearly expecting others to join in, but ended up pping alone.
I facepalmed.
Then I heard Uncle Charlie beside me say, "I understand teachers are tragically underpaid."
"That''s very true," Miss Tuttle replied with a raised eyebrow.
"I''d like to do my part. Can I buy you dinner?" Charlie asked, bold as ever.
Miss Tuttle looked genuinely stunned.
I took a step to the side, pretending I wasn''t with him. But Charlie reached over, pulled me back into view and added, "I''m his mentor," clearly trying to take credit for my academic sess.
"Shhh," Miss Tuttle replied quickly, ring at him.
He looked at me, a bit betrayed, arms slightly raised. I simply shrugged. "Told you she was strict."
Then Judith stepped up to the mic again. "And finally, this one''s important, folks¡ªwe may have to cancel our annual music showcase for the sixth graders."
A wave of disappointed murmurs spread through the room.
"Unless," Judith continued with a bright smile, "someone with musical experience volunteers to help us out."
I smirked. Just in time to see Uncle Charlie distracted near the refreshment table, tossing a sugar cube into his coffee.
"Charlie?" my mom called sweetly.
"Yeah?" Charlie answered on reflex.
"Thank you. Charlie Harper, everyone!" Judith dered, leading a round of apuse.
Charlie raised his cup with a polite smile, then blinked, confused. "Wait... what?"
The apuse faded into chuckles. I couldn''t tell if Charlie was horrified or amused. Probably both.
He slowly lowered his cup and looked around, as if trying to piece together how he''d just been roped into a school event.
"Wait," he repeated, this time with growing urgency, "what exactly did I agree to?"
"You just volunteered to lead the music showcase," Judith replied, positively glowing.
Charlie blinked again. "The kids'' concert?"
"Yep. Rehearsals start tomorrow."
I couldn''t help myself¡ªI burst outughing.
"Congrattions, mentor," I said, patting him on the back. "Time to give back to themunity."
Charlie turned to n. "Why do I feel like this is your fault somehow?"
n, sipping punch, gave a helpless shrug. "Statistically speaking, it was bound to happen."
That night, back at the beach house, Charlie was pacing like a man preparing for battle.
"I can''t work with kids," he muttered. "I don''t even like kids."
"You like me," I said.
"You''re different. You''re one kid. And a weird one."
"Thanks?" I replied, not sure if I was supposed to be insulted orplimented.
Charlie dropped onto the couch with a long sigh. "This is gonna be a disaster."
I grinned. "Probably. But at least it''ll be entertaining."
------
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Chapter 29: Rehearsal
Chapter 29 - Rehearsal
Chapter 28
The next day, Charlie sat at the piano, singing with all the enthusiasm he could muster¡ªwhich, frankly, wasn''t much.
? Manpower, horsepower, coal and steam Moving forward the American dream Electric, atomic, sr too All this energy for me and you. ?
I frowned. What the hell was this song?
Judith stood nearby, arms crossed and one eyebrow raised. "Oh gosh, I want to like it."
"Yeah, want to like it," n echoed, not sounding remotely convinced.
But then they both sighed in perfect unison.
Charlie paused mid-chord. "But...?"
Judith hesitated. "But I just don''t think it''s your best work."
"It''s not," Charlie admitted, slumping forward dramatically. "Please, fire me."
Judith shook her head and nced at n. "Do you remember that show we did in college?"
"Stormy Weather?" n said, suddenly nostalgic. "Of course."
"Now those songs had a point of view," Judith said.
"Yeah," n nodded. "And you couldn''t get them out of your head." Then, he started singing:
? Co-ed bathrooms, co-ed bathrooms ?
Mom joined in without missing a beat:
? Co-ed bathrooms, co-ed bathrooms Wear your flip-flops in the co-ed bathrooms Stuff grows on the floor there And whoops! There''s another pubic hair ?
Charlie stared at them, eyes wide, caught somewhere between horror, disbelief, and existential dread. I mirrored the exact same expression.
n grinned. "See? Maybe the easiest way to do this is for us to write the actual song."
"Yeah," Judith agreed, nodding.
"Then Charlie could just toss in the musical notes and stuff," n added. "Right, Charlie? What do you think?"
By that point, Charlie and I were already halfway to the kitchen, both of us silently agreeing we didn''t need to be part of that freak show.
Back in the living room, Dad noticed Charlie had abandoned the piano and turned to Judith. "Okay, then I guess it''s just the two of us."
"Like the old days," Judith said with a smirk.
"Yeah. Except this time I''m not a virgin."
From the kitchen, I clenched my teeth and shouted, "T-M-I, Dad!"
Charlie and I were on the couch, trying to watch TV, when curiosity got the better of us.
"We should check on the musical geniuses again," Charlie said, reaching for the remote.
We leaned back to peek into the living room from the kitchen archway. Judith and n were now full-on singing and dancing like they were auditioning for a Broadway revival.
? Robert Fulton, Eli Whitney Robert Fulton, Eli Whitney All aboard for Henry Ford, Henry Ford! ?
They twirled and snapped their fingers with rming enthusiasm.
I dropped my head into my hands. "I''ve seen enough."
Charlie tilted his head. "Maybe your mom was always gay. She just thought your dad was a woman in disguise..."
I groaned. "Please don''t finish that thought."
Charlie leaned back into the couch and smirked. "Well, the good news is, we''re officially out of this mess."
I nodded. "And the bad news?"
"We still have front-row seats to it."
I sighed. "It''s going to be a long week."
Charlie raised his coffee mug like a toast. "To chaos."
"To chaos," I muttered, already bracing for whatever came next.
¡ª¡ª¡ª
"Charlie, we''re going to bete for rehearsal. What are you doing?" n called from the hallway.
"Making margaritas," Charlie replied casually.
"We''ve got rehearsal at Jake''s school!" n reminded him.
"Rx, I have a n."
n squinted. "You''re bringing liquor to Jake''s school?"
"You betcha. I''m not facing a room full of prepubescent chaos without a little fortification. They''ll have limes in the teacher''s lounge, right?"
"No," I said tly, munching my cereal. "And don''t ask about swizzle sticks."
"There''s no limes, no swizzle sticks, no¡ªoh, great." n held up an envelope. "It''s from Judith''swyers."
Charlie arched an eyebrow. "Really? Good news?"
"No. It''s not good news. Judith filed for divorce," n said, voice dropping.
I scoffed. "Come on, Dad. It''s been months. You''re acting like this is new."
n looked down at the envelope and sighed. "I just thought we were having a good time."
I shook my head, not wanting to get pulled into his delusions.
¡ª¡ª¡ª
"I can''t believe she blindsided me like this. So nice and friendly to my face... while herwyers were scheming behind my back," n vented. "Let me tell you something, Charlie. A woman who does that cannot be trusted."
I walked ahead down the hallway, wanting no part in that rant.
"Maybe this divorce is a good thing," Charlie offered. "Could give you both some space to figure things out."
"No. That would be ying right into her hands," n said stubbornly.
"Okay, n. Just don''t make it worse," Charlie warned.
n frowned. "How could I possibly make it worse?" he said, opening the rehearsal room door.
"Let''s find out," Charlie muttered with a smirk, stepping in behind him.
""Okay, everyone, we''re going to have the girls on one side and the boys on the other," Mom announced to the ss, trying to maintain some order in the chaos.
"- Sure.Start splitting them up early.That''s your answer for everything, isn''t it?" n said sarcastic
"Excuse me?" Judith eximed, her voice sharp with disbelief.
"Would Mrs. intiff kindly meet Mr. Respondent in the hallway?" n said, gesturing like a bailiff calling a courtroom to order.
"Watch the kids, we''ll be right back," Judith said, already pulling n by the arm toward the hallway with the determination of someone dragging a guilty man to trial.
"Okay," Charlie said absentmindedly, but then nced at the swarm of kids and snapped to attention. "Wait! Hold on a second!"
------
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Chapter 30: The singing
Chapter 30 - The singing
Chapter 29
Charlie stepped into the room with the energy of a man pretending he was anywhere else. The moment he saw the crowd of kids packed into the music room, his grin faltered into a tight, nervous smile.
"Wow," he muttered. "So many small humans in one ce. This is... fine."
He pped his hands together weakly. "Alright, um... Jake? Where''s Jake?"
Three different boys raised their hands eagerly.
I sighed, stepped forward from the back of the room, and muttered, "Of course my name had to be thismon."
Then I gave Uncle Charlie a smirk, watching the momentary panic cross his face.
I strolled up beside him, still smirking. "You were looking for this Jake. The original, some would say."
Charlie looked at me, deadpan. "You couldn''t have just raised your hand like a normal person?"
"Where''s the fun in that?" I replied.
He sighed. "Alright, let''s see if we can herd this chaos into something vaguely resembling music."
But before he could turn back to the ss, I raised my voice.
"Everybody, sit down."
In perfect unison, the entire ss dropped into their seats.
Charlie''s eyes widened slightly.
"Stand up."
Every student popped up instantly.
"Now roll."
Without hesitation, they dropped and rolled across the floor like a perfectly choreographed wave.
Charlie stared at them, then at me.
He murmured, half-impressed and half-bewildered, "Jake, you''ve got an army of obedient little gremlins... why would you even want to change schools?"
I shrugged. "Sometimes the general wants a bigger battlefield."
Just then, n walked back into the room. He paused, watching the kids roll around on the floor.
"Jake?" he asked, clearly confused.
"Okay everyone, stand up," I said, and once again, they all followed themand wlessly.
n looked around, then casually walked over to Charlie, grabbed the bottle in his hand¡ªwhich was very much not apple juice¡ªand turned to leave.
"Hey¡ªwait!" Charlie protested.
But n was already out the door.
A girl from the front row, Mary, crossed her arms and asked, "Are we gonna do our songs or not?"
"Hey, I''m just the piano yer. Lerner and Loewe are out in the hallway working things out."
"Who?" she blinked.
"Lerner and Loewe? My Fair Lady? Camelot?" Charlie asked, exasperated. Then he looked around the room. "Aren''t there any gay kids in here?"
I just shook my head at thement.
Charlie sat down at the piano and started plunking out a few notes. "Alright, let''s try something. How about this¡ª"
He began to sing in a jingle-like tone:
? Steam engines, factory smoke, History''s grind, ain''t no joke We built a world from coal and steel Come on kids, let''s make it real! ?
He trailed off, grimacing. "Yeah, no. That''s terrible."
He looked at me. "Any ideas?"
I crossed my arms. "Let''s forget about the Industrial Revolution. I don''t have a single song about that."
Charlie raised an eyebrow. "Well, that''s gonna be a problem."
"Maybe," I replied, smirking. "But I do have one that might satisfy the adults in the room."
¡ª¡ª¡ª
The day of the presentation arrived, and every student was dressed in white. The multipurpose room had been transformed with banners, streamers, and an anxious crowd of parents waiting in folding chairs.
I walked onto the stage with calm confidence. "We decided not to sing about the Industrial Revolution," I said into the mic, pausing for effect. "Instead... we''re singing about something that matters much more ¡ª friendship."
A few parents exchanged looks, intrigued. Someone whispered, "Well, that''s unexpected." Another leaned in and muttered, "Let''s see where this goes."
Charlie gave me a small nod from behind the piano, then cracked his knuckles before cing his fingers on the keys.
The first notes echoed gently through the room. I closed my eyes for a second and then began to sing:
(Count on Me - Bruno Mars)
? Oh-oh-oh If you ever find yourself stuck in the middle of the sea, I''ll sail the world to find you, If you ever find yourself lost in the dark and you can''t see, I''ll be the light to guide you
We find out what we''re made of, When we are called to help our friends in need ?
The audience fell silent, charmed and surprised. This wasn''t a history lesson¡ªit was heartfelt. A few parents nodded slowly, clearly touched.
One mom whispered, "That''s actually... beautiful."
Then the chorus came in, and the rest of the ss joined me:
? You can count on me like one, two, three, I''ll be there, And I know when I need it I can count on you like four, three, two and you''ll be there ''Cause that''s what friends are supposed to do, oh, yeah Ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh Yeah, yeah ?
After the chorus, I took the lead again:
? If you''re tossin'' and you''re turnin'' and you just can''t fall asleep, I''ll sing a song beside you, And if you ever forget how much you really mean to me, Every day, I will remind you, oh We find out what we''re made of, When we are called to help our friends in need ?
The second chorus swelled:
? You can count on me like one, two, three, I''ll be there And I know when I need it I can count on you like four, three, two and you''ll be there ''Cause that''s what friends are supposed to do, oh, yeah Ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh Yeah, yeah ?
And then, I closed the song:
? You''ll always have my shoulder when you cry I''ll never let go, never say goodbye, You know you can count on me like one, two, three, I''ll be there And I know when I need it I can count on you like four, three, two and you''ll be there ''Cause that''s what friends are supposed to do, oh, yeah Ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh ?
When the final note faded, the room was silent for a breath¡ªand then erupted in apuse. One dad actually stood up and pped, prompting others to rise and follow suit.
"That," one parent said, wiping a tear from her eye, "was something special."
Charlie gave me a little smirk from behind the piano. "Kid''s got style."
------
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Chapter 31: After the Applause
Chapter 31 - After the Apuse
As the apuse settled, a small group of girls from my ss came rushing over.
"That was so cool, Jake!" one of them said, eyes wide with admiration.
"Yeah, you sang like a real pop star," added another, practically glowing.
I gave a small nod and a polite smile, but under my breath, I muttered, "Do I have some kind of aura that attracts lolis?"
Just then, Uncle Charlie walked up with his signature smirk.
"So," he said yfully, "are you nning to charm every twelve-year-old girl in the city, or just the ones in your school district?"
I gave him a dry look. "Hrious."
He chuckled. "I mean, I knew you had range, but you''re starting to get fan mail from the swing set crowd."
"I need a new audience," I muttered.
"Hey," Charlie shrugged. "Take the fans where you can get ''em."
Before I could respond, Miss Tuttle approached with a warm smile.
"Jake, that was a beautiful performance. Truly moving," she said. "You''ve got real talent."
"Thanks, Miss Tuttle," I replied.
Then she turned to Charlie. "And you¡ªyou''re excellent on the piano."
Charlie shed his trademark grin. "I try to keep up with the prodigy here."
Miss Tuttle chuckled, then slipped a folded note into Charlie''s hand. "If that dinner offer still stands," she said with a yful glint in her eyes, "give me a call."
Charlie looked down at the note, then back at her with a sly grin.
She winked and walked away, leaving him blinking in pleasant surprise.
"Oooh, Uncle Charlie''s gonna getid," I teased.
"Jake?!" n said, shocked and clearly disapproving.
"Hey, I''m just pointing out the obvious. If you want to scold someone, scold Uncle Charlie," I said, shrugging in self-defense.
Charlie folded the note with a satisfied grin and slipped it into his pocket. "I love parent-teacher night."
n rolled his eyes. "It wasn''t even your kid performing."
"Details, n," Charlie said breezily. "Details."
I shook my head. "Can we just go before you hit on the PTA president too?"
Charlie grinned wider. "Toote."
n groaned. "Let''s go."
¡ª¡ª¡ª
Outside, the sun had dipped just enough to cast long shadows over the parking lot. Parents chatted in clusters, kids chased each other between cars, and Charlie took a sip from a bottle¡ªone that definitely wasn''t filled with water.
"Great job in there, buddy," n said as we walked toward the car. "You really took the spotlight."
I nodded. "Thanks. I was worried it mighte off too cheesy."
Charlie snorted. "Kid, if I had a dor for every time I sold a cheesy jingle and cashed a check, I''d have... well, exactly as much money as I already do."
n turned back to me. "Seriously though, I know we tease, but that was special."
I nced over at him, surprised by the sincerity in his voice. "Thanks, Dad."
As n pulled out of the school parking lot and we headed toward the car, I remembered that Dad had recently bought Uncle Charlie''s old Jaguar¡ªsince Dad''s Porsche only had room for two. Uncle Charlie, of course, had upgraded to a Mercedes.
The car was quiet for a few minutes, windows down, warm air blowing through. I leaned back, letting the night breeze cool my face.
"I think I''m gonna miss this ce," I said softly.
"You''re not even gone yet," n replied.
"Yeah, but... it''s weird. When you know something''s ending, it starts feeling different. More valuable."
Charlie nodded thoughtfully. "The nostalgia starts before the farewell. That''s how you know you''re getting older."
"I''m twelve," I reminded him.
"Still counts," he said, taking another sip.
¡ª¡ª¡ª
After a few days, the house smelled like fresh coffee, toasted bagels, and sunscreen¡ªwhich could only mean one thing: Summer Vacation.
n sat at the kitchen table with hisptop open, scrolling through travel sites, while Charlie sipped a mimosa like it was already the weekend.
"So, Jake," n said, looking up, "since you''ve officially wrapped up the school year and¡ªwell¡ªleveled up academically, we thought you deserved a proper celebration. I was thinking... Barbados?"
I blinked. "Barbados? Seriously?"
Charlie nodded. "Sun, beach, drinks in coconuts. What''s not to like?"
I paused, thinking. I''d never been to Barbados before, and as one of the most famous Caribbean inds, it had to be gorgeous.
"Alright," I said, hiding a small grin. "I''m listening."
n tapped something into hisptop. "Flights are open next week. We could go for ten days, maybe more if you''re up for it."
"I''m definitely up for it," I said.
n hesitated a beat. "There''s just... one thing. Mom wants toe too."
I raised an eyebrow. "My mom or your mom?"
Charlie, without missing a beat, muttered, "Does it matter?"
n sighed, clearly ufortable. "Well... both."
Charlie chuckled and leaned back in his chair, voice dripping with sarcasm. "Fantastic. A tropical ind getaway with not one, but two hurricanes in heels." Then he turned to n. "Why would you even tell them about the trip?"
n raised his hands in surrender. "They both didn''t want to be left out of Jake''s big vacation. What was I supposed to do?"
Charlie scoffed. "If I remember correctly, our mother used to pray for vacations without us. She shipped us to camp every summer just to enjoy a martini in silence."
I leaned forward, grinning. "Yeah, well... you weren''t exactly people she could brag about at brunch or making her win millions."
Charlie just gave me a look.
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Chapter 32: Off to Barbados (Eventually)
Chapter 32 - Off to Barbados (Eventually)
Chapter 31
The day of the trip finally arrived. The house buzzed with a kind of chaotic energy as everyone scrambled to get ready. Suitcases were being zipped shut, passports double-checked.
I was the first one fully packed and dressed, sitting on the couch with my backpack already slung over my shoulder. "Let''s go already," I said, watching n shuffle between the living room and kitchen for the third time.
"Jake, we can''t leave until your mother gets here," n said, trying to zip up his overstuffed suitcase. "She insisted on driving to the airport together."
"Because nothing says vacation like shared awkward silences," Charlie added, waltzing into the room in a Hawaiian shirt and sandals. "Who''s ready for paradise?"
n raised an eyebrow at Charlie''s outfit. "You do remember we''re going to New York first, right?"
"Yeah, Uncle Charlie," I said, pointing at Dad, "we already have Dad to embarrass us. Let''s not double down."
It wasn''t a direct flight to Barbados. That part was my idea. Before heading to the Caribbean, we were stopping in New York City for six days. I''d never visited in my past life, and I wasn''t going to miss the chance now. Museums, Wall Street, Central Park¡ªI had a list, and I was ready to check it off.
"Thank you, Jake," n said tly, clearly unamused.
"Fine," Charlie muttered, disappearing down the hallway to change out of his beach gear.
Judith arrived five minutester, perfectly on time and already flustered. "Are we really doing this?" she asked, clearly still trying to convince herself.
"Yes," n replied, dragging his suitcase out the front door.
Evelyn showed upst, sunsses on, wheeling a leopard print suitcase that screamed ''attention.'' "Let''s move it, boys. First ss won''t wait forever."
We all crammed into arge SUV that n had rented for the ride. Judith and Evelyn immediately started bickering in the back seat about which airline had better service, while Charlie¡ªnow in a normal outfit¡ªsted jazz from his phone and hummed off-key.
"Jake," Charlie said, ncing at me from the front passenger seat, "you sure this vacation is for you? Or is it just a social experiment in family dysfunction?"
"Honestly? A little bit of both."
n let out a long sigh toward Charlie. "Just try to enjoy it, okay?"
"I''ll enjoy it when we''re settled in the hotel and no one is yelling about who took whose seat in first ss," Charlie replied.
Judith raised a finger. "That better not be ament about me."
Evelyn didn''t even look up from herpact mirror. "If the shoe fits, dear."
Charlie leaned closer and whispered to me, "Ten bucks says someone gets kicked off the ne before we even take off."
I smirked. "Only ten?"
As we pulled into the terminal at LAX, the atmosphere changed. Beneath all the sarcasm and passive-aggression, there was something else: anticipation. For me, this was more than just a family vacation¡ªit was a step into a city I hadn''t seen before.
We unloaded the luggage and headed toward check-in. Charlie tipped the skycap with a wink, n fussed with our boarding passes, and Evelyn tried to flirt her way into an upgrade.
"Gramma, the only upgrade we could get is a private jet," I pointed out.
"We should always try, Jake," Grandma replied, straightening her scarf like she owned the airline.
I looked around at this bizarre, chaotic group I called family. "Harper family vacation, phase one," I muttered as we walked through the automatic doors.
First stop: New York City.
Next stop: Barbados.
What could possibly go wrong?
¡ª¡ª¡ª
Surprisingly, nothing did.
Wended at JFK without incident. No one got kicked off the ne. No in-flight drama. Not even a missing bag. It felt like we''d identally stepped into someone else''s peaceful timeline.
The hotel was just as impressive as the brochure made it out to be¡ªthe Four Seasons. Elegant lobby, a view of Central Park, rooms that smelled like citrus and money. Evelyn looked around and dered it "eptable." High praise,ing from her.
We spent the rest of the day ying tourists. We hit Times Square, took the Staten Ind Ferry past the Statue of Liberty, walked through Central Park, and even eat at a food truck n picked after researching reviews for twenty minutes.
n bought one of those "I S2 NY" shirts. Evelynined that her heels weren''t made for walking. Judith asked the tour guide at the Met if she had any coupons. And me? I soaked it all in.
It was my first time in New York. And for once, everything was... nice.
Too nice.
Almost suspiciously nice.
¡ª¡ª¡ª
That evening at the hotel, everyone scattered. Judith went off to her massage appointment. n headed to the spa. Evelyn disappeared somewhere¡ªprobably the lounge, judging by the faint scent of martinis in the hallway.
I had just woken up from a nap when there was a knock on my door.
"Jake," came Charlie''s voice. "I need your help."
I scoffed and sat up. "Of course you do. That was the only thing missing from today."
"Don''t worry," he said, and I could practically hear the smirk. "It''s not a twelve-year-old girl. She''s beautiful. Like her mother."
I was already getting up to close the door on him when he added, "The Gilmore girls."
I froze.
I hadn''t watched the show, but I remembered seeing clips online. The mother was stunning¡ªsharp, funny, elegant. And the daughter? Cute, bookish, smart-looking. A different kind of beauty.
"What''s her name?" I asked, cautious but curious.
"Lori Gilmore¡ªthe mom," Charlie replied, grinning. "And I think Rory for the daughter."
I narrowed my eyes. "You''re not seriously telling me¡ª"
Charlie smirked wider. "Come on. It''s New York. Anything can happen."
"Okay, it''s vacation, let''s go," I replied, trying not to show too much enthusiasm.
¡ª¡ª¡ª
Charlie led the way down the elevator and across the hotel lounge. He looked way too smug, like a man escorting royalty¡ªwhich, in his mind, he probably was. When we reached the bar area, I spotted them immediately. Lori Gilmore, just as captivating in real life as she''d been in those clips I half-remembered. She had that effortlessly charming aura, like she was always on the verge of making a sarcastic joke. Rory sat next to her, looking far more subdued, eyes flicking between her mother and the menu.
"Jake, this is Lori," Charlie said with a wink. "And Rory."
I straightened up and stepped forward, offering a confident, slightly mischievous smile.
"Nice to meet you," I said smoothly. Then, turning to Lori, "You must be her sister?"
She blinked, surprised, then burst into genuineughter.
"Well, aren''t you a charmer," she said, clearly ttered. "That''s one way to make a first impression."
I shrugged, still smiling. "Just calling it like I see it."
Charlie gave me a subtle elbow nudge of approval.
I turned to Rory and offered her the same charming smile, but dialed back a bit. "Jake Harper."
She looked up, polite but distant. "Rory Gilmore. Nice to meet you," she said before turning her eyes back to the menu, disinterested.
So... not impressed.
I blinked once, processing theck of impact. My eyes twitched, then drifted to the ceiling, and I muttered just loud enough for Charlie to hear, "Really? Now it doesn''t work?"
Charlie chuckled beside me. "Don''t worry, champ. She''s probably just ying hard to get."
Or maybe... maybe this time, I''d have to earn it.
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Chapter 33: NOTICE 2
Chapter 33 - NOTICE 2
Hey guys, I need your opinion: (spoiler here alert)
I read some thoughts here, and I do agree that Jake is too young, but I don''t want to rewrite some of the future Chapters.
I''m thinking of changing Jake''s initial age (a time skip would be messier):
10 ¡ú 12 years
4th grade ¡ú 6th grade
Tori, Missy, and Sheldon ¡ú 12 years
Rory is still 15
He will go to 9th grade at age 13, while everyone else is 15 (I''ve already written some Chapters).
I''m not changing anything else besides age and grades.
About the different series:
Gilmore Girls: Never watched it. I''ve only seen some video clips. Rory seems a bit messy. My only idea is for him to meet her again when he''s around 16¨C17 and have a little "remember" moment, nothing more.
Friends: I really like it. They would serve more as cool aunts and uncles.
The Big Bang Theory: Some interaction with Sheldon and Missy, just casual friends. Leonard feels "meh" to me. I dislike Howard (my idea was to bash him). Paige is someone I''d like to help.
Victorious: I really like Tori. But I''d like Jake to be more like Charlie ¡ª at least until histe twenties.
Celebrities: There will be some interaction, but nothing major nned (for now).
Future series:
High school (9th grade and beyond): iCarly ¡ª Carly, Sam, and Freddie will be good friends.
Modern Family: He will date Haley for a while.
I think Haley is "so-so," and I''m mostly including her to interact with Modern Family characters. He won''t get emotionally involved with her ¡ª just a normal teen rtionship.
Other shows or movies: They wille and go.
Other thoughts (just ideas):
I want someone to be the CEO of hispanies. My ideas:
? Pepper Potts (just her ¡ª no Marvel or supernatural elements involved).
? Donna Paulsen (Suits) ¡ª my idea is to make her Judith''s love interest (going the lesbian route, which would help Judith be a better person). Donna would be someone awesome Jake could fully trust.
My conflict is more about the girls'' ages than Jake''s. But I believe that making him older would make things much easier to write.
I''m writing this novel for myself, and I''m still doing it. But brainstorming helps a lot in my professional career, so I might keep doing it here as well.
Chapter 34: Dinner with the Gilmore Girls
Chapter 34 - Dinner with the Gilmore Girls
Chapter 32
Later that evening, the four of us sat around a candlelit table at a cozy bistro not far from the hotel (Uncle Charlie wants us to eat somewhere else¡ªapparently, he knows a better ce). Conversation flowed easily. Lori and Charlie were practically trading punchlines, their energy bouncing off each other like a si script.
Lori leaned toward Charlie with a smirk. "We were originally here with my parents," she said. "But they decided to do the old couple routine tonight and take a carriage ride through the park."
Charlie grinned. "So, you got ditched?"
Sheughed. "Basically. Not that I''mining."
While they chatted, Rory nced at me across the table. "So... how old are you?" she asked casually.
Before I could even open my mouth, Charlie jumped in with a yful grin. "He''s fifteen. Still waiting for that big growth spurt, but we believe in miracles."
I shot him a re. "Thanks for that."
Truth was, I looked quite the opposite. I appeared more like a fourteen-year-old, despite being only twelve. I wasn''t sure if it was the exercise, the bnced diet, or divine intervention, but I had developed a lot faster than the Jake from the series.
Rory raised an eyebrow slightly and gave a polite nod before returning to her ss of water. Still unreadable.
Yeah. This one wasn''t going to be easy. I''d have to earn it.
I leaned forward, trying to spark something other than polite silence. "So, Rory, what do you think of New York so far?"
She nced up. "It''s... big. Loud. Different."
"Sounds like someone''s writing a haiku," I teased lightly.
She actually cracked the tiniest smile, then quickly hid it behind her ss. "I guess I''m more of a Stars Hollow kind of person."
"I get that. I live in Malibu," I said, leaning back. "So I guess I''m contractually obligated to like sun, sand, and light family dysfunction."
Charlie snorted. Lori raised her ss. "Here''s to light dysfunction."
"Better than the heavy kind," I added with a grin.
There was a lull, but it wasn''t ufortable. I caught Rory ncing at me again, this time with a bit more curiosity.
Maybe this night wasn''t a lost cause after all.
I leaned in slightly. "So... what do you want to do? I mean, long term. College? Career?"
Rory hesitated for a second, then met my eyes. "I want to be a journalist. Foreign correspondent, maybe. Cover real stories. Go ces."
I nodded. "That sounds... awesome, actually."
"Thanks," she said, her voice soft but genuine.
Just then, one of the waiters walked by the table and paused. "The piano is free, if anyone wants to give it a try," he said with a friendly smile, gesturing toward the corner of the room.
I raised an eyebrow and turned to nce at Charlie.
He kept sipping his wine, suspiciously quiet.
I narrowed my eyes. No way that was a coincidence.
Of course Charlie picked this ce knowing there was a piano. It had his fingerprints all over it¡ªlike some si producer lining up the perfect cue.
I shook my head and smirked. "Uncle Charlie," I muttered with a tone of amused approval.
"I''ll do it," I said, standing up.
"Wow, you know how to y the piano?" Lori asked, clearly intrigued.
I could see that Rory looked curious too, leaning forward just slightly.
"Well, I try," I said with a smirk. Then I turned to the waiter and added, "Could you set up a mic too?"
The waiter nodded. "Of course. I''ll have it ready in just a minute."
I made my way over to the small stage in the corner of the restaurant, adjusting the mic stand as I took my seat at the piano. I ran my fingers lightly over the keys, feeling the familiar texture beneath my hands. Then I leaned toward the mic.
"This song was originally written as a duet," I said, ncing back at the table. "But tonight, I''m going solo."
I started to sing, looking directly at Rory.
(Shallow ¨C Lady Gaga)
? Tell me something, girl Are you happy in this modern world? Or do you need more? Is there something else you''re searching for?
I''m falling In all the good times I find myself longing for change And in the bad times, I fear myself ?
Lori leaned in slightly toward Charlie, watching the stage. "Okay... that''s impressive," she whispered.
Charlie smirked, eyes on me. "Told you the kid had talent."
? Tell me something, girl Aren''t you tired tryin'' to fill that void? Or do you need more? Ain''t it hard keepin'' it so hardcore?
I''m falling In all the good times I find myself longing for change And in the bad times, I fear myself ?
Rory was no longer just politely listening. She leaned in closer, eyes fixed on me, her expression unreadable¡ªbut clearly captivated.
I gathered all the power in my voice and delivered the next verse with full emotion:
? I''m off the deep end, watch as I dive in I''ll never meet the ground Crash through the surface, where they can''t hurt us We''re far from the shallow now
In the shallow, shallow In the shallow, shallow In the shallow, shallow We''re far from the shallow now ?
The room had gone quiet. All eyes were on the piano.
And in that moment, I wasn''t just Jake Harper, the smart kid with the sarcastic uncle¡ªI was the show.
? I''m off the deep end, watch as I dive in I''ll never meet the ground Crash through the surface, where they can''t hurt us We''re far from the shallow now
In the shallow, shallow In the shallow, shallow In the shallow, shallow We''re far from the shallow now ?
Everyone in the restaurant stood up and apuded.
I looked toward Rory¡ªshe seemed smitten.
I smirked.
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Chapter 35: Bold Moves
Chapter 35 - Bold Moves
Chapter 33
After the apuse finally died down, Charlie paid the bill and turned to us with a grin. "Lori and I are going to take a little walk," he said casually. "This ce stays opente, and the night''s still young."
I gave him a knowing nod. "Have fun."
Rory and I found a quiet couch near the back of the restaurant, away from the crowd. We sat down, side by side, the buzz of the dining room fading into background noise. The soft hum of conversation and clinking sses made the moment feel strangely intimate.
"That was really good," Rory said, turning toward me. Her eyes were warmer now, more open. "You''ve got a great voice. And was an incredible music"
"Thanks," I said. "You didn''t seem too impressed at first."
She shrugged with a smirk. "I was reserving judgment. You kind of surprised me."
"Good. I like surprising people."
We sat in silence for a few seconds, just letting the moment breathe.
"So," I said, turning toward her, "you really want to be a journalist?"
"Yeah," she nodded. "Always have. I want to write things that matter. Stuff people remember."
"That''s pretty amazing," I said. "And I believe you''ll do it."
She looked at me, eyes searching. "You''re kind of hard to figure out, you know."
I smiled. "Good. Makes life more interesting."
We were close now. Not ufortably so¡ªbut just enough.
Rory''s eyes flicked to my lips, and mine did the same.
And before I could second-guess it, I leaned in and kissed her.
It wasn''t long or dramatic. Just a gentle, quiet kiss.
And she kissed me back.
Softly, simply¡ªlike it had been waiting there all evening.
When we finally pulled away, Rory blinked, a little dazed.
"I, uh... wasn''t expecting that," she said, barely above a whisper.
"Neither was I," I replied, lying through my teeth.
She smiled then, genuinely. Her eyes lingered on mine.
And I kissed her again.
This time, it wasn''t the chaste, unsure kiss of before. It was bolder, more certain. Her hand found mine, and the world beyond that couch seemed to fade.
Whatever tomorrow held, I knew this moment would stay with me.
¡ª¡ª¡ª
Hours passed. Charlie eventually returned to the restaurant, strolling in with that smug, satisfied expression he wore so well.
Rory and I were still on the couch, kissing like the rest of the world didn''t exist. Charlie spotted us, paused, and smiled proudly¡ªlike he''d just won a bet with himself.
He pulled out his wallet and discreetly slipped a tip to one of the waiters. "Thanks for letting them have their moment. Here''s another tip," he said.
The waiter nodded, ncing toward us. "Of course. But we do need to close soon."
Charlie chuckled and walked closer, stopping a few feet away. We didn''t notice.
He cleared his throat once. Nothing.
Then again, louder.
Still nothing.
Finally, he gave an exaggerated series of coughs.
Rory and I broke apart, both turning in mild surprise.
I looked up and grinned wide. "Hey, Uncle Charlie."
Rory blushed and didn''t say a word.
Charlie just raised his eyebrows and smirked. "Time to wrap it up, Romeo."
As we exited the restaurant, we walked out in silence, the night air cool and refreshing. Rory gave me a quick kiss before stepping into the hotel elevator. I watched the doors close, then turned to find Charlie still beside me.
He looked at me. I looked at him.
No words were exchanged. We simply nodded.
Then, without any prompting, we both started doing the infamous Peter Parker dance from Spider-Man 3¡ªshoulder rolls, finger guns, and everything (even if the movie was not release yet)
"Okay, what the hell are you two doing?" n''s voice broke through as he stepped out of the hotel lobby, staring at us like we''d lost our minds.
We just grinned and high-fived each other.
n folded his arms, confused. "Seriously. Where have you been?"
Charlie gave me a yful tap on the shoulder. "We just found a quiet ce to eat," he said with a wink.
¡ª¡ª¡ª
Later that night, Iy on my hotel bed staring at the ceiling.
Huh. She''s going to have the same moral dilemma I did.
When Rory finds out I''m twelve... Yeah, that''ll be a moment.
And then it hit me.
I kissed a fifteen-year-old.
I groaned and covered my face with both hands.
"Great. Now I''m the problem."
I turned over and sighed. For all my intelligence, all my nning... nothing could prepare me for this weird gray area.
Age didn''t feel real to me anymore. In my head, I''m older. But to the world¡ªincluding Rory¡ªI was younger.
And if I''m going to hell for this... at least Uncle Charlie and my parents will be there too.
Pause.
Well... knowing my grandmother, by the time I get there, she''ll probably be the one running the ce.
¡ª¡ª¡ª
The next day, high above the clouds on a ne back to Stars Hollow, Rory sat beside her mother, Lori.
They had been quiet for most of the flight, lost in their own thoughts. Then Lori finally turned to her daughter with an uneasy expression.
"Rory... I don''t know how to say this to you," she said slowly.
Rory blinked. "Okay... what''s going on?"
Lori winced. "Jake... he''s... well, he''s actually twelve years old."
"He was TWELVE???" Rory screamed, her voice echoing through the cabin.
Everyone on the ne turned to look.
Rory sank into her seat, face flushed with disbelief and horror.
"Oh my God," she whispered. "I kissed a twelve-year-old..."
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Chapter 36: The City That Never Judges (Hopefully)
Chapter 36 - The City That Never Judges (Hopefully)
Chapter 34
After the chaos on the ne and whatever emotional tornado Rory was currently riding back to Stars Hollow, things felt a bit calmer on our end. We were back to enjoying our final days in New York City.
The next morning, we all headed out to explore more of Manhattan. Evelyn had taken the liberty of booking a private city tour¡ªone of those open-top buses. She insisted we see "the important stuff" before heading off to Barbados.
Charlie sat beside me on the top deck, sunsses on, breeze in his hair, grinning from time to time like he''d juste from a victoryp.
n sat on the other side of me, squinting into the sun, and eventually leaned toward us. "Okay, what the hell did you two dost night?" he asked, clearly sensing something.
"Nothing," I replied quickly.
Charlie nodded in agreement, way too cheerfully. "Yeah, n, we were just enjoying vacation. You know, sightseeing, good food, cultural enrichment..."
"Yeah, and I''m the Queen of Ennd," n muttered, eyeing us both suspiciously.
Charlie gave a mock bow and said, "Yes, Your Majesty."
I leaned toward Charlie and whispered with a grin, "Always knew he''d go with Queen instead of King."
Charlie choked back augh, shaking his head while n, oblivious, kept grumbling about sunscreen and overcharging New York cafes.
As the tour continued, we passed Central Park, the Met, Times Square¡ªeverything felt cinematic. I watched the crowds, the architecture, the sheer pulse of the city. For someone who never got to see this in his first life, New York was living up to every expectation.
And in that breeze, high above the chaos on the double-decker bus, I couldn''t help but smile.
Yeah... this city never asks too many questions.
Exactly the kind of ce a kid like me needs.
¡ª¡ª¡ª
The next couple of days went by in a blur of museums, shopping, and food. Judith had us doing walking tours, Evelyn kept trying to drag us into designer boutiques, and n somehow managed to fall asleep during a Broadway show¡ªwhich Charlie loudly pointed out to everyone in our row.
We took photos at the top of the Empire State Building, ate hot dogs from a street cart, and even caught a Yankees game. It felt like one of those rare stretches of time where everything just worked.
But as the final night rolled in, there was a shared unspoken understanding among us: vacation phase one wasing to a close.
The next morning, bags were packed and checked. We found ourselves at JFK Airport, standing at our gate, passports in hand.
"Barbados, here wee," Charlie said, stretching his arms over his head.
n looked at his boarding pass like it was the golden ticket. "I just want a hammock and no screaming children nearby."
"I make no promises," I said, slinging my backpack over my shoulder.
Evelyn, already in line for priority boarding, nced back at us. "Try not to embarrass yourselves in the Caribbean. It''s not like Manhattan where nobody cares."
Charlie leaned toward me with a grin. "She says that like we haven''t already embarrassed ourselves in multiple countries."
"Touch¨¦."
As we moved into the boarding line, I nced ahead¡ªand did a double take.
Standing just a few feet in front of us, casually chatting andughing, were six very familiar faces: Ross, Chandler, Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, and Joey.
The infamous six.
I blinked again to make sure I wasn''t hallucinating. But no, it was really them.
And they weren''t alone.
Next to them was Professor Wheeler, a stunning ck woman I recognized from an academic article I''d once read. And beside Phoebe was David¡ªthe PhD guy she was dating.
I leaned over to Charlie. "Is that...?"
He followed my gaze, then raised an eyebrow. "Well, I''ll be damned."
Charlie smirked. "Should we say hi?"
Before I could respond, Charlie was already making his way toward them, dragging me by the shoulder.
"Excuse me," Charlie said smoothly as we approached. "I just had to say¡ªyou all look exactly like you stepped out of a si."
Oh he doesn''t know how ironic this phrase was (and for both ways).
Monica and Chandler turned with raised eyebrows, then smiled as they recognized us.
"Hey! You were at the wedding!" Joey said, pointing.
Then n caught up to us, clearly not wanting to be left out of the moment. He stepped forward and said cheerfully, "Hey, you were at the wedding too¡ªthe one where the groom said the wrong name for the bride, right?"
The group fell into an immediate, collective silence. A very awkward silence
All eyes subtly shifted toward Ross, who had been lingering slightly behind the group, his face frozen mid-smile.
n''s grin slowly faded. "Oh... oh no."
"Way to go, n," Charlie said dryly, patting him on the shoulder with exaggerated sympathy.
Even I had to wince.
Ross coughed into his hand, eyes avoiding everyone.
Rachel gave a small, tight-lipped smile. Monica elbowed Chandler to say something, but even he couldn''t find the words.
"Anyone else want coffee?" Joey asked suddenly, trying to redirect. "I could go for a coffee."
"Great idea," Phoebe said, linking her arm with David. "Let''s get a round before boarding."
Crisis awkwardly averted... maybe.
I cleared my throat and said just loud enough, "I did say my dad was a lot like Ross."
Charlie and Chandler barely suppressed augh. n just shot me a look.
"Not helping, Jake," he muttered under his breath.
"Wasn''t trying to," I replied with a shrug.
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Chapter 37: First Class
Chapter 37 - First ss
Chapter 35
The boarding announcement echoed over the speakers, and our group began to move forward. We were among the first to board, thanks to Evelyn''s insistence on flying first ss. Noints from me. The seats were wide, the legroom endless, and the cabin looked like something out of a luxury catalog.
As we settled into our seats, I noticed Charlie casually sliding on his sleep mask and reclining like he owned the ne. n kept adjusting his neck pillow like it was a Rubik''s Cube.
A few minutester, the rest of the passengers began boarding. I spotted them again¡ªRoss, Chandler, Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, Joey, David, and Professor Wheeler¡ªfiling in through the cabin doors.
They paused as they passed through first ss. Chandler did a double take at our row.
"Whoa," he said, eyeing us. "So this is where the rich family vacation starts. Look at that. They''ve got a twelve-year-old in first ss and I''m still waiting to hit my frequent flyer miles."
Joey leaned over to Chandler and whispered, "Do you think they have caviar snacks up here?"
Charlie lifted his sleep mask just in time to smirk. "Depends. Want to trade your peanuts for champagne?"
Chandler raised a brow. "Tempting. But I don''t think they''d let me back here after myst mini-bar incident."
Monica rolled her eyes and pulled him by the sleeve. "Come on. Let the rich kids enjoy their legroom."
Rachel offered me a friendly wave. "Enjoy the flight."
"Thanks," I said. "I''ll try not to spill my sparkling water on the leather."
As they moved to the back of the ne, Charlie turned to me with a satisfied sigh. "First ss really does bring out the envy in people."
n grumbled under his breath. "Still can''t believe mom paid for this."
Dad can be cheap for no reason. We could easily afford to fly only first ss, I thought
"She didn''t," Charlie said, popping an olive into his mouth. "Jake did."
n looked at me with wide eyes. "Wait¡ªyou paid for this?"
I shrugged. "Consider it a small investment in family morale."
Charlie raised his ss. "To the richest twelve-year-old I know."
I clinked his ss with my ginger ale. "To flying above our problems¡ªin style."
As I took a sip, I couldn''t help but think how this whole trip was funded¡ªby a bet. A single bet.
The Lakers winning the NBA championshipst month had earned us a ridiculous return. I hadn''t even watched a single game, hadn''t followed the season, didn''t even remember who the MVP was. But I had remembered the oue from myst life¡ªand that was enough.
¡ª¡ª¡ª
After a few hours of quiet luxury and surprisingly good airne food, we finally touched down in Barbados. The sky outside was crystal clear, the air humid and warm even through the sealed airne door.
As we stepped out of the ne and descended onto the tarmac, I was hit by the thick, salty breeze of the Caribbean.
Charlie stretched his arms and let out a contented sigh. "Now this is vacation."
n was already sweating through his shirt. "Can we just get to the hotel and not melt on the way?"
Evelyn had on a wide sunhat, oversized sunsses, and looked more prepared for a magazine shoot than airport pickup. "I told you linen breathes better than polyester, n."
Judith just shook her head and took a long look at the turquoise water in the distance. "Let''s try to at least pretend we''re rxed."
"Trust me," I muttered, "I''m already there."
As we walked across the tarmac toward the waiting car, I caught a glimpse of Ross and the others unloading their bags just a few feet behind us. Chandler was loudly asking if the resort had banana daiquiris on arrival.
¡ª¡ª¡ª
By the time we arrived at the resort, we were all ready to crash or dive straight into the pool. The hotel was stunning¡ªbeachfront with towering palms, soft music ying in the lobby, and a scent of coconut lingering in the air.
Check-in was smooth, and within minutes we were handed chilled towels and colorful drinks with little umbres. I caught Charlie raising an eyebrow at the drink before muttering, "Needs rum."
We were just getting settled into our suites when I heard familiar voices again. Turning around, I saw Ross, Chandler, Monica, and the rest of the group walk into the lobby with their luggage.
Chandler spotted us first. "Wait¡ªare you guys staying here too?"
Charlie gave a shortugh. "What can I say? Great minds vacation alike."
Ross stepped forward and added, "We''re actually here for a paleontology convention. A few big names are giving talks."
That''s when Judith, Charlie, Evelyn, and I all turned slowly to look at n.
n shifted ufortably. "What? I saw the flyer... It sounded interesting. Dinosaurs are cool."
"You brought us to a dinosaur convention?" Charlie said, half amused, half incredulous.
"I brought myself to a dinosaur convention," n corrected. "You''re just tagging along."
Outside, the skies darkened and a soft drizzle began falling. The rain tapped rhythmically on the wide ss windows of the lobby.
"Well," Evelyn said, sipping her drink, "at least there''s a spa."
I stared out at the rain, then sighed and thought, Oh crap, don''t tell me it''s going to rain every day just because they''re here.
Later that night, Iy on the hotel bed, staring up at the ceiling fan slowly spinning above me. My mind buzzed.
The timeline was all scrambled.
From what I could tell, Monica and Chandler were still sneaking around. So forget the wedding¡ªit hadn''t happened yet. But earlier, I''d overheard Chandler whispering something to Joey about Mike possibly flying in.
Is Phoebe already on her endgame path?
Well, not really my problem
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Chapter 38: Rain
Chapter 38 - Rain
My eyes were twisting. It was already the third day¡ªand it hadn''t stopped raining.
Not once.
Tropical storm? Bad luck? Friends? Or maybe the universe was just mocking me for ever thinking this would be a smooth, rxing vacation.
Through the foggy balcony doors, I could barely make out the ocean beyond the curtain of gray. Waves crashed somewhere in the distance, muffled by the relentless downpour.
Iy back in bed and sighed.
¡ª¡ª¡ª
Later that afternoon, I found myself sitting on one of the lounge sofas in the lobby next to Uncle Charlie. On his arm¡ªquite literally¡ªwas Rachel, nestled in a way that could only be described as casually flirty. Now, I was envying Uncle Charlie. That''s Jennifer Aniston for you.
I raised an eyebrow and crossed my arms. "Let''s summarize the situation again, shall we?"
Charlie grinned, sipping his drink like he was on a reality show.
"Joey is with Dr. Wheeler¡ªwho, by the way," I paused, nodding toward my uncle, "is named Charlie."
Charlie chuckled. "Well, it''s a unisex name."
Not really. It''s moremon for men. And my uncle''s name is Charles
"Ross likes Charlie. And Charlie might like Ross."
Charlie tilted his head. "Don''t phrase it like that."
"Phoebe is with David," I continued, "but she''s clearly still into Mike."
"Chandler and Monica are secret lovers..."
Charlie raised a brow. "Barely a secret, if you ask me."
"And you," I said, gesturing at Rachel, "are with my uncle."
Rachel shrugged with a sly grin. "Well, what can I say?"
"Yeah," I muttered, "you guys are like a Mexican telenov."
Charlie raised his ss with a smirk. "All we''re missing is dramatic music and someone waking up from aa. You just look unimpressed because there''s not a single 15-year-old girl around."
"Hey, isn''t he like... thirteen?" Rachel asked, raising an eyebrow.
"I''m twelve," I said tly.
"Wait¡ªI''ve been gossiping all this to a twelve-year-old?" Rachel blinked, suddenly looking a bit more sober.
I gave her a look. "It wouldn''t be okay even if I were thirteen."
¡ª¡ª¡ª
Charlieughed and stood up, stretching his arms. "Well, I think I''ve earned another pi?a cda."
Rachel followed him with her eyes, smiling. "Make it two."
I stayed seated, staring out the rain-speckled window. The Caribbean vacation was slowly turning into a bottle episode of everyone''s unresolved drama. If I didn''t know better, I''d swear I was trapped in a crossover si special.
And worst of all, the forecast still showed rain for the rest of the week.
Fantastic.
¡ª¡ª¡ª
A few minutester, Rachel returned with a drink in hand and plopped back down beside me. "Okay, your turn," she said, swirling the straw through her ss. "Tell me everything."
I blinked. "Everything?"
"Come on," she said, nudging me lightly. "You clearly know all our drama. I want the scoop on you now."
I gave her a deadpan look. "I''m twelve."
Rachelughed. "When I was twelve, I..." she trailed off, blinking. "Oh yeah. Not really much going on when you''re twelve."
Just then, Charlie returned with the drinks, handing one to Rachel and settling in beside us. (Yeah, she was having two drinks.)
"Don''t say that," he said with a grin. "Jake here is different. From what I''ve seen, he''s already got at least four girls who like him."
I groaned.
Charlie continued, "And that''s just the ones we know. The rest are backstage girls whose names never made it into the script."
Rachel gave me a look of amused curiosity. "Four girls, huh?"
I sighed and took a sip of my juice. "Can we go back to talking about you guys now?"
"Nope," Rachel said, leaning in with a yful smirk. "Come on, tell me who they are. You can''t just drop a number like four and not give details."
Charlie nodded, egging her on. "Yeah, Jake. Name names. Let''s turn this into a proper expos¨¦."
I looked between the two of them, then rolled my eyes. "Fine, but if this gets back to any of them, I''m ming both of you."
Rachel raised her hand like she was swearing into court. "Cross my heart."
Charlie held up his ss. "I''ve already forgotten what we''re talking about."
I sighed again. "Okay. There''s Tori... she''s kind of the lead character in this particr mess." well, she was the first... to kiss my cheek
"Ooh," Rachel said, eyebrows lifting.
"Then there''s Missy¡ªcame in through a genius meeting. Also trouble. There''s Joanie... don''t even ask, she''s eight."
Rachel burst outughing. "Eight?! Jake!"
"I didn''t ask for that one!" I defended. "She just showed up!"
"And the fourth?" Rachel asked.
I hesitated. "Rory. We kissed, but I don''t think we''re going to do it again. Not after she finds out my age. She is 15..."
Rachel''s eyebrows shot up. "Wait¡ªRory kissed you and didn''t know you were twelve?"
I rubbed the back of my neck. "It was more like... I kissed her. And she kind of kissed back. But yeah, she thought I was older."
Charlie nearly choked on his drink. "ssic Harper move." Just remembering, that was his idea.
Rachel gave him a re, then turned back to me, her tone more amused than judgmental. "So what happened when she found out?"
"I don''t know yet," I said, staring at the condensation sliding down my ss. "She left with her mom the next morning. I haven''t heard anything since."
"Yikes," Rachel whispered, wincing in sympathy. "You really are living your own soap opera."
Charlie leaned back, smug. "Like he said, telenov."
He raised his ss again. "To Jake¡ªyoungest heartbreaker in the Caribbean."
Rachel clinked her drink against his. "To idental drama and rainy vacations."
I just rolled my eyes and sipped my juice, already dreading what else the week might throw at me.
------
Omake:
Joey turned to Charlie and tilted his head.
"So your name is Charlie too?" he asked, clearlyparing to the girl he was seeing.
"Exactly. Unisex," Rachel said, sipping her drink with a smirk.
Joey raised an eyebrow. "No, you need sex." He paused. "I had some yesterday... and today."
Charlie (the uncle) smirked without missing a beat.
"We both did"
Rachel let out a sigh, facepalmed, and shook her head.
I wasn''t sitting with them, but I heard the whole thing from a few steps away. And, yeah, I couldn''t help myself. I started doing the mental math.
"Okay... Joey with Charlie. Rachel with my Uncle Charlie. Monica with Chandler. Phoebe with David¡ªor Mike"
Then I stopped and blinked.
"So... Ross ends up with the blue balls again?"
------
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Chapter 39: Island Complications
Chapter 39 - Ind Complications
Chapter 37
The rain finally slowed down the next morning¡ªnot stopped, just downgraded from apocalyptic to mildly miserable. I took it as a win.
Breakfast was served in the resort''s ocean-view dining hall, though the "ocean view" looked more like a gray smudge today. n, Grandma Evelyn, and my mom were already seated. Charlie, of course, stumbled inst wearing sunsses indoors, like that helped anyone forget he wasn''t exactly drinking juicest night.
"Rough night?" I asked with a smirk.
Charlie grinned. "I''ve had worse. At least nobody got arrested."
Judith raised an eyebrow. "That''s your bar for sess now?"
"Always has been," Charlie replied, sliding into his seat.
Evelyn, meanwhile, had her nose buried in some travel brochure, already plotting the next stop on her empire tour.
As I was buttering a piece of toast, I noticed movement near the entrance. It was Ross and the rest of the group¡ªthe six infamous friends plus David and Dr. Charlie Wheeler. Or not, this time it was Mike next to Phoebe.
Rachel gave a small wave when she saw me, while Monica looked like she was ready to wrestle the humidity into submission. Seriously, her hair was its own zip code.
"Morning, Jake," Chandler greeted. "Still raining?"
"Less rain, more tropical sadness," I said.
A few minutester, something unexpected happened. Rachel walked over to our table and, without a word, sat down right next to Charlie. Not across from him. Not casually on the edge. Right next to him¡ªlike it waspletely normal.
Charlie blinked, pleasantly surprised. "Well, good morning again."
Rachel smiled and rested her elbows on the table. "You don''t mind, do you?"
"Mind? I insist," Charlie said, ever the flirt.
Across the room, a few of the others¡ªMonica, Chandler, and Ross¡ªgave each other looks. Joey raised his eyebrows, clearly impressed. Monica''s eyes narrowed ever so slightly, and Ross blinked slowly, as if trying to process what he was seeing.
I leaned over and muttered to Charlie, "You''re gonna start a war if she keeps sitting here."
Charlie whispered back, "What can I say? I''m irresistible in ind lighting."
Rachel turned to me with a smirk. "You two done plotting?"
"Plotting? Nah," I said. "We''re just watching the show."
Charlie raised an eyebrow at her. "So... you sitting here just for breakfastpany, or is this part of arger n to stir up drama?"
Rachel grinned. "Maybe both."
"Oh boy," I muttered, sipping my juice.
¡ª¡ª¡ª
Later that afternoon, I ended up at the poolside lounge with Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, and Mike. The rain had paused just long enough for everyone to pretend we were actually on vacation again.
"So," I asked, leaning forward slightly, "only Ross doesn''t know about you two?" I pointed subtly between Monica and Chandler.
Monica froze mid-sip.
Phoebe gasped. "Jake!"
"What?" I said innocently. "Everyone else knows, right?"
Mike raised an eyebrow. "Wait¡ªI didn''t know."
Phoebe elbowed him. "Yes, you did. I told youst night."
"Oh right. Yeah. Totally knew."
Monica groaned and covered her face. Chandler just sighed.
"Ross can''t find out," Monica said. "Not yet."
"Not until it''s official," Chandler added.
I raised an eyebrow. "Isn''t dating already official?"
They looked at each other, visibly panicked.
"Okay, fine," I said, chuckling. "Your secret is safe with me. For now."
I leaned back and smirked. "Wanna y a little guessing game?"
They looked at me, confused.
I twisted my mouth to the side, stuck out my tongue, and pulled a face full of sarcasm and awkwardness.
Monica burst outughing. "That''s Chandler!"
Phoebe giggled uncontrobly, even Mike let out a surprised chuckle.
Chandler frowned, utterly offended. "When have I ever done that?"
I shot Monica a yful nce, then turned to her with an exaggerated wink and my best Joey impression. "How you doin''?"
Monica cracked up, nearly spilling her drink. "Oh my God, Joey would be proud."
Phoebe was practically wheezing fromughter. "Jake, you''re dangerous."
Even Chandler couldn''t help it this time¡ªheughed too, shaking his head. "Okay, I walked into that one."
I wasn''t done yet. Putting on my most neurotic expression, I wrung my hands together and said in a high-pitched voice, "I need to wash the toilet 17 times a day¡ªeven if people are still on it!"
"That''s Monica!!!" eximed Phoebe while crying out loud.
Chandler fell off his lounge chair,ughing uncontrobly. Monica just gave him a long, unimpressed stare.
"That''s not funny," she said, but the corner of her mouth was twitching.
Phoebe was doubled over, and even Mike had to wipe his eyes.
Then I sat up straighter and adjusted my imaginary sses. I dropped my voice into a nerdy drone. "Well, actually, the Mesozoic era is divided into three periods: Triassic, Jurassic, and Cretaceous. Which, coincidentally, are also the stages of my dating life."
Chandler let out a snort. Monica choked on her drink. Phoebe started pping.
"That''s Ross!" Mike said betweenughs.
I continued in the same tone, "And don''t even get me started on the sedimentary rock formations in southern Patagonia. Fascinating."
"Jake, you''re killing us," Chandler said as he stood up to sit properly again.
I leaned back dramatically, ced a hand over my chest, and eximed in mock agony, "Oh my God, I love Ross! I hate Ross! I love Ross! I hate Ross!"
"That''s Rachel!!!" Monica said, practically falling apart fromughter.
The entire group copsed intoughter once more, tears rolling down cheeks, drinks forgotten.
Still chuckling and catching my breath, I turned to Phoebe and Mike. "Sorry, guys¡ªI don''t know you well enough to impersonate you... yet."
Phoebe gave me a thumbs-up between her giggles. "Just wait, you will."
Mike grinned. "We''ll give you material soon enough."
------
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Chapter 40: The Speech Disaster
Chapter 40 - The Speech Disaster
Chapter 38
Just then, Rachel and Charlie strolled into the pool area, each with a drink in hand. Rachel immediately stopped when she saw the group in various states ofughter¡ªChandler wiping tears, Phoebe still giggling uncontrobly, Monica leaning into Chandler to stay upright.
Rachel blinked, setting her sunsses on top of her head. "Okay... what on earth is so funny?"
Charlie nced over at me with an amused smile. "That was you, wasn''t it?"
Rachel gave me a suspicious look as well.
"Why would you say that?" I asked innocently, shing the most harmless smile I could manage.
Rachel narrowed her eyes yfully. "Because every time I see you smiling like that, something chaotic just happened."
"I second that," Charlie added, sipping his drink. "You''re like a twelve-year-old Loki with better hair."
Monica, stillughing, nodded toward me. "He did impressions. All of us. And they were... rmingly urate."
Rachel turned fully toward me, intrigued. "Even me?"
I raised my hands defensively. "You were the grand finale. I saved the best forst."
Rachel gave a mock gasp. "Was I dramatic?"
Chandler coughed into his hand. "Oh yeah."
¡ª¡ª¡ª
Later that day, Joey, Chandler, Rachel, Charlie, and I were walking toward Ross''s room. Joey knocked on the door and called out, "Hey guys!"
Ross responded as he opened the door, "The choctes aren''t here."
"Damn it!" Joey sighed.
Inside, Dr. Wheeler said, "Ross just read me his speech. It''s fantastic."
"Oh, is it on theputer?" Chandler asked. "Because I''d love to give it a read."
"If you want to check your e-mail, just ask," Ross replied.
"What? May I?" Chandler asked innocently.
Rachel looked around at the cloudy sky out the window. "What''s with the rain, Geller? I mean, when I signed up for Dino Week, nobody said anything about it being monsoon season."
"The wet season is June to December," Dr. Wheeler noted helpfully.
"Yeah, it''s not the time, Wheeler," Rachel said tly.
Suddenly, Chandler let out a panicked gasp. "Oh no. No, no! Dear God, no!"
"What, did someone outbid you for the teapot?" Joey asked.
"Secret teapot," Joey muttered under his breath.
"Yourputer..." Chandler stammered. "I don''t know what happened. Everything''s gone."
"What do you mean?" Ross jumped up.
"Must be a virus," Chandler said nervously. "I think it erased your hard drive."
Ross turned pale. "What?! Oh my God. What did you do?!"
"Someone I don''t know sent me an email," Chandler started, "and I opened it."
"Why? Why would you open it?" Ross demanded.
"Well, it didn''t say, ''This is a virus,''" Chandler defended himself.
Ross stared at him. "What did it say, then?"
Chandler swallowed. "Nude..." he paused, everyone looked to him.
"Pictures of Anna Kournikova."
There was a beat of silence.
Charlie raised his hand. "Okay, in Chandler''s defense... that happened to me once."
Everyone turned to look at him, horrified.
Charlie shrugged. "What? But I didn''t erase someone''s speech."
I raised an eyebrow and leaned casually against the wall. "Well, at least Chandler has good taste."
Now everyone turned to look at me.
"What?" I said with a shrug. "Anna Kournikova is beautiful."
Rachel rolled her eyes, shaking her head. "Men. Boys. You''re all the same."
Charlie smirked. "We aim to be consistent."
Rachel crossed her arms and added, "You know, this happens all the time to myputer at work."
"What do you do?" Ross asked hopefully.
"I usually go..." Rachel said casually, "y Tetris on somebody else''sputer."
Charlie nced over at me again and asked, "Do you know how to resolve this?"
"Not really," I said, shaking my head. "I don''t know much about IT... or paleontology, for that matter."
I paused, then added with a shrug, "What I''d do is pay someone two grand to write me a brand-new speech."
I thought for a second more, then continued, "But then again, they''re already specialists. I guess that option''s off the table."
¡ª¡ª¡ª
The next day, miraculously, the weather had turned beautiful. The sky was clear, the ocean a breathtaking shade of blue. Mom, Dad, and Grandma were already heading to the beach.
"I''ll wait for Uncle Charlie," I told them, watching as they disappeared down the path.
I walked to his door and knocked. He and Rachel were already dressed in beachwear, looking surprisingly ready.
"Hey Jake," Charlie greeted. Rachel smiled, tossing her beach bag over her shoulder.
"We should stop by Monica''s room on the way," Rachel said.
She knocked on the adjoining door, enter and shouted, "Open your drapes! Open your drapes!"
"So d we got adjoining rooms," Chandler muttered.
"The sun is out!" Monica called back.
"Hey! Remember when I had corneas?" Chandler replied, shielding his eyes dramatically.
"Go to the pool and reserve chairs," Monica instructed.
"I will get the magazines and the lotion," Monica added, determined.
"Ladies? Ross'' speech is in 45 minutes," Chandler reminded them.
"No!" Monica groaned.
"Damn it!" Rachel added.
"Walls are pretty thin, guys," Ross said dryly from the other side of the wall.
I leaned closer to Monica and whispered, "How the hell does he not know about you two?"
She bit her lip to suppress augh, shooting me a quick nce. "We''re very sneaky."
Charlie jumped in quickly, trying to sound casual. "Oh well, we don''t really know Ross that well."
"Yeah," I added with a smirk. "We just went to his wedding, that''s all."
Charlie chuckled. "We should get going. Even n''s already there."
He was right. Dad had been one of the most excited to attend those dinosaur lectures. But today, when the sun goes up, he was one of the first to go to the beach.
Rachel and Monica exchanged looks, clearly envious as they watched us prepare to leave.
But just as we reached for the door handle to step outside, the sky suddenly darkened¡ªand the sound of heavy rain hitting the windows followed a beatter.
"You''ve got to be kidding me," I muttered.
------
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Chapter 41: A Stormy Detour
Chapter 41 - A Stormy Detour
We all stood frozen by the door, watching the rain m against the windows like an angry tide. Rachel let out an exasperated sigh and threw her hands up.
"I swear, this ind has a personal vendetta against fun," she muttered.
Charlie stepped back from the door, shaking his head. "We were this close to a perfect beach day."
Monica mumbled something under her breath as she headed toward the mini-fridge. "If we''re stuck inside, we might as well hydrate and snack like it''s summer."
Rachel copsed onto the edge of the bed. "I packed six bikinis for this trip. Six! And so far, the only thing I''ve tanned is my patience."
"You could show me," Charlie said with a smirk.
"Hey, I''m still here," I chimed in, raising an eyebrow.
Chandler raised his hand. "I brought three bottles of sunscreen and now I''m considering using them as coffee creamers¡ªjust to feel something."
We all stood in silence for a moment, listening to the rain pound on the roof.
Charlie sighed and pped his hands once. "Well, looks like we''re doing some learning today."
Rachel groaned. "You know I didn''te here for paleontology."
"Who did?" I mumbled.
Charlie gave me a yful smirk. "Jake, you''re starting to sound like me."
"Careful," I replied, "you might start sounding like Dad."
Charlie recoiled dramatically. "Take that back."
Laughter filled the room as the rain continued to fall.
"Alright," Monica said, adjusting her hair in the mirror. "If we''re going, we go in style. I''m not letting a little water ruin my outfit coordination."
Rachel arched an eyebrow. "Oh no. We''re seriously going to a dino-convention now?"
Charlie wrapped an arm around Rachel. "Hey, just think of it as Jurassic Park¡ªbut with more graphs."
"Worst sales pitch ever," she said, rolling her eyes.
¡ª¡ª¡ª
Still, we gathered our things and headed toward the hotel''s main hall, hoping to make it in time for Ross''s presentation. As we stepped into the lobby, we were greeted by the sight of three very familiar figures dripping wet, looking like soggy cats.
It was Mom, Dad, and Grandmapletely drenched from head to toe.
Their clothes clung to their bodies, shoes squelching with every step. Grandma''s hair was stered to her face in dramatic, windswept curls.
Charlie burst outughing. "Okay, maybe this rain wasn''t so bad after all."
Judith shot him a re while n tried to shake water off his sleeves. "We just wanted to take a short walk on the beach..." he muttered.
"Looks like the beach walked you," I said with a grin.
Even Evelyn, usually poised and sharp-tongued, looked like she''d just survived a tropical car wash. She gave me a slow blink and said, "Not. A. Word."
"Toote," I whispered to Charlie, who was still chuckling.
With that, we pushed forward toward the hall.
¡ª¡ª¡ª
Inside the conference room, the crowd was already settling into rows of cushioned seats. A small stage had been set up in front, with Ross standing near the podium, nervously tapping his notes.
As we took our seats, Ross adjusted the microphone and cleared his throat.
"Good afternoon, everyone. Thank you for being here. Today, I''m thrilled to share with you mytest paper: Dino-Dating: The Social Behavior of Late Jurassic Herbivores."
There were polite chuckles around the room, mostly from the academic crowd. Our group, however, remained awkwardly silent.
Chandler leaned over and whispered, "I thought ''Dino-Dating'' was a new magazine."
Joey stifled augh. "Date on a Triceratops."
Rachel gave them both a look. "Shh, he''s trying."
Ross, undeterred, continued, "Now, when we examine the fossil records, we can see distinct patterns in mating behaviors. For instance, did you know that the Stegosaurus likely used tail posturing¡ª"
I leaned over to Charlie and murmured, "Are we really doing this?"
Charlie whispered back, "I''ve had root canals more entertaining than this."
Still, we sat through it¡ªout of politeness, mostly. Every few minutes, Ross would make a pun, and the paleontologists wouldugh. The rest of us just exchanged looks of mutual pain.
"Finally, factor in the profusion of new species recently discovered. Giganotosaurus. Argentinosaurus."
Ross paused dramatically, then added, "Not to mention Coldsaurus."
A wave ofughter echoed through the room. Chandlerughed too
"And that''s just the herbivores," Ross continued. "I''m not even going to discuss the carnivores. Their heads are already too big. Which is ironic, considering their stunted cerebral development."
Moreughter. Enthusiastic even.
Our group stayed silent.
"Really?" I muttered under my breath, looking around at the sea of delighted nerds.
¡ª¡ª¡ª
After the presentation ended and the crowd dispersed, Monica, Mike, Phoebe, and Chandler decided to go check out the hotel''s game room for some ping-pong.
Charlie, Rachel, and I lingered behind, chatting as we wandered through the lobby.
That''s when we spotted Joey¡ªstanding near the snack bar, all alone, staring thoughtfully at a vending machine like it held the answer to the universe.
Charlie nudged me. "Looks like Joey''s having a deep philosophical moment with a bag of chips."
Rachel tilted her head. "That or he''s deciding between chips and a Snickers."
"Either way," I said, "we should probably go say hi."
As we walked up to him, Joey didn''t even turn around. He was uncharacteristically still, hands in his pockets, gaze fixed ahead.
"Hey, Joey," Rachel said gently. "You okay?"
He turned slowly, his eyes a little glossy. "Charlie broke up with me."
There was a beat of silence.
Rachel blinked. "Wait... what?"
Joey nodded solemnly. "Yeah...Charlie. She said it wasn''t working."
Charlie raised an eyebrow. "Wait, she actually said that?"
Joey sighed. "More or less. She said we were in different Chapters of our lives. I thought that was a metaphor for a sexy librarian thing. Turns out... not."
------
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Chapter 42: Broken Hearts
Chapter 42 - Broken Hearts
There was a long pause after Joey''s words. Even Uncle Charlie, who usually had something witty to say, stayed quiet for a moment.
Rachel reached out and patted Joey on the arm. "I''m sorry, Joey. That sucks."
Joey let out a slow sigh. "The worst part? She''s with Ross now."
Rachel''s eyes widened. "Wait¡ªwhat?"
"Yeah," Joey said, bitterness creeping into his voice. "I guess they got close again. Some kind of academic bond. I don''t know. But I walked in on them arguing yesterday, and it was definitely... something."
Rachel''s jaw tightened. "That bitch."
We all went quiet for a second, surprised at the sudden venom in her voice.
"Sorry," Rachel added, taking a sip of her drink. "Bute on, Ross? Seriously? She dumps Joey and goes for Ross?"
I just raised my eyebrows but said nothing
Charlie raised a brow, clearly amused. "Can''t say I didn''t see that oneing. You put enough nerds in one convention and sparks are bound to fly¡ªover spreadsheets and fossilized teeth." Seeing that his joke didn''t lighten the mood as he hoped, he added quickly, "Okay guys, let''s drink. Still the solution to all problems."
¡ª¡ª¡ª
Later that afternoon, we all gathered in the hotel caf¨¦ for tea and pastries. The mood was casual, but a subtle tension still lingered in the air. Ross and Dr. Wheeler had quietly taken a table across the room, separated from the rest of us.
"Look who decided to sit at the exile table," Chandler whispered to Monica, nodding toward Ross and Charlie Wheeler.
"I can''t even tell if they''re dating or arguing about the geological time scale," Monica replied.
"Or both," I added, sipping my juice.
Rachel sat down next to Charlie, eyeing the other table. "I''d say I feel bad, but I don''t."
"Neither do I," Joey muttered, still sulking with a croissant.
Phoebe passed a te of muffins around. "Well, at least we have carbs. Carbs don''t betray you."
I looked over at Ross and Dr. Wheeler, who were locked in a quiet but visibly intense conversation.
Just as I was about to reach for another pastry, Dad leaned in and said, "Hey, son. I forgot to tell you¡ªthere''s a small musicpetition tonight at that restaurant by the beach. Thought you might want to check it out."
I blinked. "Apetition?"
"Yeah," he nodded. "The hotel''s hosting it as part of some local cultural night. They''re letting guests join. A couple of the staff said they''re signing up too."
Charlie perked up. "Music? And you''re just now telling us?"
I leaned back, tapping my fingers on the table as an idea came to me. "Actually... I think I''ve got a good one."
Rachel turned to me, curious. "What kind of idea?"
"I''ll need your help. Could you gather everyone from your group¡ªMonica, Chandler, Phoebe, Joey... even Ross if he behaves," I smirked.
Rachel raised an eyebrow but nodded. "Sure. What''s the n?"
I turned to Phoebe. "Phoebe, do you know how to y guitar?"
She smiled. "Do I know how to y guitar? Jake, my guitar is my soulmate."
"Perfect," I said, already piecing the arrangement together in my head. "Let''s make tonight fun."
¡ª¡ª¡ª
That evening, we arrived at the beachside restaurant. The whole ce had thisid-back, open-air vibe with string lights dangling from palm trees and soft music ying in the background.
Everyone gathered¡ªour crew, Rachel''s friends, and even some curious guests from the hotel. Thepetition had drawn quite the crowd. I scanned the stage setup and noticed a sign-up sheet nearly full.
Most of the performers were adults¡ªtourists, locals, or staff members. Only one other kid besides me had signed up¡ªa shy-looking girl, maybe twelve years old, sitting nervously with her parents.
I nced over to her and felt a twinge of sympathy. Then I stood and said to Charlie, "I''m going to say hi."
Charlie smirked. "Of course you are. Going to charm yet another girl, are you?"
I rolled my eyes.
Rachel grinned beside him. "Go on, Jake. Make her night. Maybe you''ll calm her nerves."
I shrugged, I headed over toward the girl''s table. She looked up as I approached, a little surprised.
"Hey," I said with a small smile. "You nervous too?"
She nodded shyly. "Yeah. A little."
I chuckled softly. "Me too." I lied
There was a pause before I offered my hand. "I''m Jake. Jarke Harper"
She smiled and shook it. "Robyn. Robyn Rihanna Fenty."
I blinked and froze for a second.
"Wow. That''s... a cool name," I managed, trying not to sound mechanical.
Wait. Rihanna? That Rihanna?
I quickly pulled myself together. "Don''t worry, you''re going to do great."
I looked at her again¡ªso normal-ish, so unassuming¡ªand couldn''t help but think, Yeah, future international superstar. Wild.
Then I murmured under my breath, "Money and age do wonders."
She tilted her head slightly. "What was that?"
I smiled quickly. "Nothing. Just thinking out loud."
Robynughed softly. "Well... good luck tonight."
"You too. Maybe we''ll both blow the crowd away," I said, stepping back with a wink.
As I returned to our table, Charlie was already smirking at me like a proud uncle who just watched his apprentice flirt with royalty.
"So?" he asked, lifting a brow.
"She''s nice," I replied simply.
Rachel nudged my shoulder. "She''s also adorable. You two would make a power duo"
Charlieughed. "He''s building his fanbase early. That kid''s a walking jukebox with charisma."
------
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Chapter 43: Music Under the Stars
Chapter 43 - Music Under the Stars
The crowd grew as the sun dipped below the horizon, casting golden light across the waves. Tiki torches flickered to life, and the beachside restaurant buzzed with chatter and anticipation. A local MC stepped up to the mic and weed everyone with a bright smile.
"Ladies and gentlemen, wee to our Music Under the Starspetition! We''ve got an exciting lineup tonight¡ªso sit back, rx, and enjoy the talent!"
The first few performers were adults¡ªmost strummed guitars, some sang covers, others yed instruments. A couple of acts were actually pretty impressive. A steel drum trio got the audience pping, and an older man singing Bob Marley had the whole restaurant humming along.
Then came the girl I''d met earlier¡ªRihanna. She stepped up onto the stage, a bit nervous but clearly holding it together. The crowd quieted.
She strummed the first chords on her guitar and began singing¡ªa soft, clear voice that stunned everyone into silence. It wasn''t showy or loud, but it had this kind of soulful honesty that made people lean in. A few lines in, and you could hear murmurs: "She''s amazing."
When she finished, the apuse was loud and enthusiastic. I pped hard, too.
Charlie leaned toward me. "You''re gonna have to bring your A-game now, kid."
I grinned. "Was already nning on it."
The MC stepped back up. "Next up¡ªJake Harper!"
Phoebe gave me a wink as she picked up her guitar and followed me toward the stage. I climbed the couple of steps and adjusted the mic. The lights warmed my face, and the sound of the ocean filled the silent pause.
"Hey everyone," I began, "this song is about... normal life."
That got a fewughs from the crowd.
"...and Friends," I added with a smile.
Phoebe shed a thumbs-up and got into position. Behind her, a hotel drummer I''d spoken to earlier was ready, and I''d told him to just follow along and keep a steady rhythm.
The stage was set. Now it was time to y.
(I''ll Be There for You ¨C The Rembrandts)
? So no one told you life was gonna be this way, Your job''s a joke, you''re broke, your love life''s D.O.A. It''s like you''re always stuck in second gear, And it hasn''t been your day, your week, your month, or even your year But... ?
"Wow, that''s so nice!" said Monica. Then she added, "I feel such a strange resonance with this song... is that weird?"
"No, I feel the same!" Chandler chimed in, followed by Ross, Joey and Rachel nodding in agreement.
The others at the table nced around, slightly confused but amused.
? I''ll be there for you, When the rain starts to pour, I''ll be there for you, Like I''ve been there, before I''ll be there for you, ''Cuz you''re there for me too... You''re still in bed at ten And work began at eight You''ve burned your breakfast So far... things are goin'' great ?
Rachel, Chandler, Monica, Ross, and Joey stood up and began singing along (the ''I''ll be there for you'' part), their voices blending with mine. Phoebe smiled mid-chord, clearly enjoying the moment as much as the rest of us. The crowd was pping to the beat, and the energy was incredible.
As we reached the final chorus, I gave a small gesture with my head toward the stage, and the five of them understood instantly. They made their way up as the audience cheered louder, recognizing what was happening.
Now all six of them¡ªRachel, Ross, Monica, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe¡ªwere on stage, standing behind me as I sang thest verse. It felt surreal.
? I''ll be there for you, I''ll be there for you, I''ll be there for you, ''Cuz you''re there for me too... ?
The crowd went wild.
I looked over at them, and for a second, it felt like I wasn''t just singing a theme song¡ªI was part of something timeless.
And man, what a moment to be at the center of it.
¡ª¡ª¡ª
The next morning, I woke up with a sore voice (we had an encore) and a head full of memories. Last night felt like a dream¡ªone of those you try to cling to before it fades. I rolled over and saw a photo on the nightstand. Someone had already printed it: me in the center, with all six of them¡ªRachel, Ross, Monica, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe¡ªposing behind me under a handmade banner that simply said: Friends.
I couldn''t help but smile.
There were other photos too¡ªme with Charlie, with n, even Judith smiling for once. A picture of Evelyn with a cocktail in hand, looking surprisingly proud.
It had alle together somehow. Even Ross and Joey made up in the end. I remembered watching Ross approach Joey after the performance, offering a sincere apology. Joey had hesitated at first, but then gave him a solid bro-hug that got a few ps from the crowd.
Everything had ended inughter, drinks, and that strange butforting feeling that maybe, just maybe, things were okay.
And here I was, staring at the proof in Proid form.
As I held the photo, I couldn''t help but think about the song itself. I had introduced it as Friends¡ªnot even realizing untilter that The Rembrandts had never named it that. They had written it for the show, sure, but somehow it never carried the title everyone associated with it. That night, I gave it that name.
It felt fitting.
¡ª¡ª¡ª
I got up, threw on a T-shirt, and made my way down to breakfast. The restaurant was already buzzing with chatter and clinking silverware. As I stepped in, I spotted the whole group gathered at a long table by the windows.
Rachel saw me first and waved me over.
"There he is!" she called. "Our little champion!"
Everyone turned to look, smiling, pping lightly as I approached.
Charlie raised his ss with a smirk. "Told you the kid was born for showbiz."
I couldn''t help but grin. Yeah,st night had been something special. And by the looks of it, it was just the beginning.
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Chapter 44: Finally Beach Day
Chapter 44 - Finally Beach Day
The morning light streamed through the windows, and the buzz of tes clinking andughter filled the beachside hotel''s dining room. I walked in to see everyone already gathered around the long breakfast table.
Chandler leaned back in his chair with a huge smile on his face. "You guys! The sun is out. I finally get one day of actual beach weather."
Monica, halfway through a bite of toast, pointed her fork at him. "Don''t jinx it, Chandler."
He shrugged. "Come on, what are the odds it starts raining again just because I said something?"
Joey, holding a te stacked high with bacon, chimed in, "Pretty high, man. Like, scientifically proven high."
Charlie smirked. "I''d bet on Joey before I''d bet on the weather."
Everyoneughed. I slid into the seat between Phoebe and Charlie, and Rachel poured me a ss of orange juice.
"Maybe even God was happy the Dino convention ended," I added with a smirk.
Ross shot me a deadpan look while everyone else burst intoughter.
Yep. It was going to be a good day.
¡ª¡ª¡ª
A little whileter, we all headed down to the beach, towels and sunsses in hand. The sun was shining, the sky was clear, and for once, the weather felt like paradise.
As we reached the sand, I couldn''t help but whistle when I saw Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe in their bikinis.
"Monica," I said, raising an eyebrow, "there''s a sea in your hair."
She turned, slightly confused, until I pointed at the several small seashells tangled in her curls.
Monica beamed. "Hey, at least my hair is finally behaving! Isn''t it cool?" She gave it a shake like she was in a shampoomercial.
Rachel and Phoebe chuckled beside her.
I made my way over to Chandler and Joey, who were setting up towels under a big striped umbre.
"I thought she was way out of your league," I said to Chandler with a yful smirk, nodding toward Monica. "But maybe I was wrong."
Joey burst outughing, nearly dropping his sunscreen. Chandler opened his mouth to respond, then just gave me a look and shook his head with a smile.
"Kid''s got a point," Joey said, still chuckling.
Just then, Ross walked over, drying his hands with a towel. "Hey, what are you guys talking about?"
Chandler and Joey both froze like deer in headlights.
I stepped in smoothly. "We were talking about how you nailed it yesterday."
Ross gave a deadpan look, then softened and said with a loving voice, "Thank you guys." Just then, my mom appeared within everyone''s view.
My eyes widened. "Wow, Mom is the hottest here." (And with the expensive products she''s been using, she looked even better.)
Joey turned to me. "Are you sure your mother is gay?"
I looked slightly indignant. "Really?"
Chandler added, "Well, buddy, wee to the team. Ross kissed my mother..."
I turned to Ross, my eyes wide. "You broke the Bro-code? How could you do that?"
Ross raised his hands defensively. "Okay, okay, in my defense¡ª"
Before I could even hear what he was about to say, I felt a sudden pinch on my back.
"Ouch!" I yelped, turning my head to see Monica standing behind me with a warning look in her eyes.
Chandler looked confused. "What was that for?"
Monica leaned closer and whispered just loud enough for him to hear, "He''s making a trap for you."
Chandler''s eyes widened in realization.
He slowly turned his gaze to me, narrowing his eyes with suspicion.
I raised my hands innocently and said, "Hey, I''m not the one dating the best friend''s sister."
A few minutester, I was standing near Charlie and Rachel, enjoying the breeze and the salty scent of the ocean, when something¡ªor rather, someone¡ªcaught my attention.
Walking past us was a stunning blonde girl, probably around fifteen, with sun-kissed skin, bright blue eyes, and a confident walk that made time slow down for a second. She wore a light floral beach bikini and carried a surfboard under one arm like she was born with it.
I couldn''t help myself. Channeling my inner Joey, I shed a smile and said, "How you doin''?"
To myplete surprise, she looked right at me, smiled, and said, "Hey, you''re Jake, right? Nice song, by the way."
I blinked. "Uh... thanks."
She nodded toward a small boardwalk ice cream stand. "Me and my friend are getting some ice cream. If you wanna swing by..." She winked then walked
I stood there, stunned. Wait, that worked?
Joey, who had been watching from nearby, beamed. "Yeah!"
Charlie immediately jumped in, holding his hand to his mouth like a microphone. "Jake is with the ball, it is 60 yards out, but he throoow it..."
Iughed and raised my hand. "Aand it''s toouchdown!!!"
Charlie high-fived me.
Rachel, amused, shook her head and chuckled. "You boys..."
Just then, I felt a shadow behind me, and before I could turn, I heard a familiar voice.
"You are teaching pick-up lines to my son?" said Mom¡ªJudith¡ªarms crossed.
Charlie didn''t even hesitate. He pointed at Joey. "That was his line."
Judith slowly turned her head toward Joey.
Joey froze like a deer caught in headlights, eyes going wide with cartoonish panic. He looked around, as if hoping for an escape route that didn''t exist.
Before he could open his mouth, Mom turned her eyes back to me.
"And where do you think you''re going, young man?" she asked, crossing her arms even tighter.
I blinked, trying to sound as casual as possible. "Well, it''s hot today, so... ice cream."
She raised an eyebrow. Totally unamused.
I shrugged, then added with a little smirk, "Look, Mom, you realized you liked women in yourte thirties. I just figured out a little sooner."
Everyone around us tried to hold in theirughter, but you could hear a few stifled chuckles. Even Mom pressed her lips together, clearly fighting a smile. Finally, she gave in andughed.
"I''m thirty-five," she said, half amused and half dramatic.
Then, with a yful roll of her eyes, she gestured toward the ice cream stand. "Go."
She didn''t need to tell me twice...
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Chapter 45: Ice Cream Aftermath
Chapter 45 - Ice Cream Aftermath
A few hours had passed since my little ice cream adventure. The sun had started to dip lower in the sky, casting a warm golden hue across the beach. I made my way back toward the group, still smiling to myself.
As I approached, I saw Uncle Charlie leaning casually on a beach chair, sunsses on, drink in hand.
"Hey buddy," he called out with a smirk, "you''ve got lipstick all over your face."
I shook my head and said, "That doesn''t work on me."
Then I smirked. "Besides, she was using strawberry-vored gloss."
Everyone burst outughing.
Rachel pointed at me, grinning. "You''re like a mix of Charlie and Joey... but with way more intelligence."
"Hey!" Joey said, clearly offended, crossing his arms.
Charlie raised his drink. "I''ll take that as apliment."
Rachel turned to me again and smiled warmly. "Seriously though, Jake, I didn''t say it earlier¡ªbut you''ve got style. I like the way you wear your clothes. Effortless but sharp."
I blinked, caught off guard for a second, then smiled. "Thank you. Oh yeah, you said you work for Ralph Lauren."
Charlie leaned forward slightly and grinned. "What he''s not telling you, Rachel, is that he hired a professional stylist to revamp his wardrobe. Full consultation, color palette, the whole thing."
Rachelughed and shook her head. "Oh, you rich boys."
Charlie just smiled.
What he didn''t say was how we made the money. Months ago, I made it very clear: no one¡ªnot Charlie, not Mom, not Grandma, and definitely not Dad¡ªwas to mention anything about my bets or investments to anyone.
It wasn''t just about keeping a low profile. Too many people knowing could affect odds, stock prices, even start rumors. That kind of exposure? Dangerous.
Anyone who broke the rule? Immediately kicked out of the betting pool and investment funds. No exceptions.
And Charlie, for all his jokes, respected the rule. He''d seen the numbers. He knew better.
The group settled into that easy rhythm again¡ªjokes,ughter, and the sound of the waves rolling in the background. The golden light of the sunset made everything feel like a dream.
Phoebe sat cross-legged in the sand, braiding tiny seashells into a string. Monica brought out more snacks from the cooler like a beachside mom, and Ross was flipping through a book no one asked about.
Joey, for some reason, had decided to start digging a giant hole in the sand. He was already knee-deep, tossing shovelfuls over his shoulder with determination.
¡ª¡ª¡ª
Eventually, the sky turned a soft pink, and it was time to pack up. Everyone gathered their things, shaking sand off towels and folding up umbres.
¡ª¡ª¡ª
Hugs went around. Rachel gave me a quick squeeze and a smile. Charlie nudged her gently and said, "If you ever want to see Malibu the right way, give me a call."
Rachel raised a brow and smirked. "I''ll think about it."
Phoebe hugged everyone twice and handed me a seashell "for emotional protection."
Chandler awkwardly tried to avoid sand getting into his shoes and muttered, "I''m too sarcastic for goodbyes."
Joey patted me on the back like we had gone through war together. "You''ve leveled up, little man."
Monica gave me a warm hug and whispered, "Thanks for keeping the secret."
Even Ross, ever the dinosaur dad, gave me a smile and said, "Good job out there." Whatever that meant.
And when the van pulled up to take us to the airport, we all stood there for a moment, watching the sunset behind us.
It had been more than just a vacation. It was a memory. One I knew I''d carry with me for a long time.
¡ª¡ª¡ª
A few hourster, we were on the ne, heading back home. I had the window seat, and Charlie was sitting beside me, sipping a Bloody Mary.
He stretched back in his seat and looked over at me with a smirk. "Nice vacation."
I chuckled. "Nice? That''s the understatement of the year."
I nced around to make sure no one was paying attention, then leaned in toward Charlie.
"You gotid with Lori and Rachel," I said quietly.
Charlie raised an eyebrow, his smirk growing wider.
"I''ve lived with you for more than six months," I added. "And I know those two are way above your average girl."
Charlie chuckled and nudged me with his elbow. "Yeah, yeah... but you can''tin either. You kissed Rory and that blonde girl, remember?"
"Yeah," I said, and we bumped fists, grinning like a couple of idiots.
I nced out at the clouds, my thoughts drifting again.
Charlie had dozed off, mouth slightly open, a soft snore escaping.
And I thought to myself, I don''t know about Lori, but Rachel Green... she''s a good one.
Yes, she has her ws. And yeah, that weird on-and-off thing with Ross is kind of a mess. But still... I admire her.
Coming from a messed-up family, she walked away from a rich, pampered life¡ªand her own wedding¡ªto start over from scratch. She spent years working as a waitress, barely getting by, and slowly fought her way up in her career.
That''s strength. That''s courage.
Oh well, I''m a hypocrite too, I thought, smilling to myself. Maybe I focus a little too much on her good side because she''s also incredibly beautiful.
------
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Chapter 46: Return to Malibu
Chapter 46 - Return to Malibu
The familiar scent of salt and sun hit me the second we stepped off the ne and into the Malibu air. It wasn''t just the location¡ªit was the feeling. That mix of ease and indulgence that only this ce seemed to offer.
Charlie slid his sunsses on and stretched like he had just returned from a spa, not a chaotic vacation filled with beach drama and unexpected hookups.
Instead of his usual convertible, a ck SUV was parked by the curb. n stood next to it, arms crossed, looking mildly irritated.
"I rented something roomy," n said as we approached. "Figured it''d be morefortable for everyone."
wee back with way more baggage, after all
Then he sighed and looked at the SUV with mild disappointment. "It was supposed to be a luxury van, but they gave me this instead. Said it was ''an upgrade.''"
Charlie snorted. "Yeah, nothing says luxury like st-minute substitute.''"
We all piled into the SUV (smaller than the one that we started the trip)¡ªn was driving, Charlie riding shotgun, and the rest of us squeezed in the back. Mom imed the window seat with a calm grace, while Gramma made a point of loudly adjusting the air conditioning and critiquing the car''s interior.
I sat between them, trying not tough at Evelyn muttering, "This is what they call an upgrade? In my day, upgrades came with leather and legroom."
A few minutes into the drive, I looked up at the two of them and said, "I need to say, the vacation went unexpectedly well... besides the rain."
Charlie turned halfway in his seat and gave me a look. "That''s the understatement of the year."
¡ª¡ª¡ª
A few dayster, life had settled into a rxed rhythm again. I spent the mornings reading, afternoons by the beach, and nights flipping through good movies.
n, surprisingly, was doing the same¡ªrxing. For once, he seemed less stressed, actually enjoying the time off. No patient calls, no lectures about responsibility. Just silence, books, and iced tea.
Until the house phone rang.
He was on the deck, reclined under a striped umbre with a thick paperback in hand when the ringtone broke the peace. He sighed, got up to answer it, and instantly sat up a little straighter as he recognized the voice on the other end.
"Hi, Mom," he answered, voice tight.
From across the room, Charlie and I exchanged a look.
Gramma Evelyn was calling. And that never meant anything quiet or boring was about to happen.
n covered the receiver with his hand and looked at us with wide eyes. "Mom said she''s been seeing a man... and she thinks he might be ''the one.''"
Charlie, already holding a beer, raised it in mock celebration. "Fifth time''s the charm."
"Four," came a voice from the phone.
I leaned toward Uncle Charlie and whispered, "How the hell does she hear that?" while watching my dad still covering the receiver.
n, flustered, tried to shift the conversation. "But... what about the guy..."
Before he could finish, Evelyn spoke again.
n sighed, covered the receiver tighter, and turned to us. "One was annulled."
Charlie grinned and leaned in with a smirk. "Ask her if we''re getting a new daddy."
n gave him a dry look, then ryed the message with reluctant sarcasm. "Mom... Charlie wants to know if we''re getting a new dad."
There was a beat of silence, and then¡ªloud and clear¡ªcame Evelyn''s voice through the phone:
"Bite me, Charlie."
n cleared his throat and brought the receiver back to his ear. After a few seconds, he turned to us again with that same tight expression.
"She wants us to have dinner at her ce," he said tly. "To meet him."
He paused, then added with a touch of resignation, "Tomorrow night. 7 p.m."
Then he lowered his voice slightly and quoted her with a dramatic ir, "''But I will certainly understand if you are too busy for your mother.''"
I scoffed. "Well, d she understands." Then I raised an eyebrow, looking at both n and Charlie. "But she said for your mother."
n shot me an unamused nce. "You''reing too, Jake."
He returned to the paperback, read for a moment, then stopped and said, "Maybe that''s why Mom was always on the phone during the trip."
I blinked. "Gramma was always on the phone?" I looked over at Charlie, who looked just as confused.
"I don''t know either," Charlie muttered, taking a sip of his beer.
n gave the two of us a long, incredulous stare¡ªhis expression slowly shifting into something between disbelief and mild indignation. You could practically hear the internal sigh building up.
"Seriously?" his face said, even if his mouth didn''t.
¡ª¡ª¡ª
The following night arrived faster than any of us were ready for. By six-thirty, we were already packed into the convertible, dressed in our ''try not to scare the new guy'' outfits.
Charlie wore a cored shirt¡ªunbuttoned just enough to remind everyone he was still Charlie. n looked like he was heading to a medical conference, stiff and over-ironed. I kept it simple: dark jeans, clean sneakers, and a button-up shirt Rachel had onceplimented.
"Everyone try to behave," n muttered as we pulled up to Gramma Evelyn''s house.
Charlie leaned toward me with a smirk. "Ten bucks says the guy''s got a ponytail."
Iughed. "Twenty if he does yoga."
Dad rolled his eyes from the front seat. "Can we at least get through the appetizer before you two start cing bets?"
n pulled into the driveway and killed the engine. We all sat there for a second, staring at the familiar house that suddenly felt like unfamiliar territory.
"Alright," n said, squaring his shoulders. "Let''s get this over with."
Charlie opened the door and stepped out, straightening his shirt. "Operation: Charm the Stepfather begins now."
I followed behind them, trying not tough as we walked up to the door.
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Chapter 47: Dinner With Evelyn
Chapter 47 - Dinner With Evelyn
n muttered under his breath as we walked up to Gramma Evelyn''s front steps, "We''ll eat, we''ll go."
"No coffee, no dessert," Charlie added quickly.
"We can''t be rude," n snapped, just as I reached out and pressed the doorbell.
The faint sound of jazz trickled through the door.
We exchanged nces.
A momentter, Evelyn opened the door, perfectlyposed as always.
"Hi, Mom," Charlie said, giving her his best innocent smile.
"Betterte than never," Evelyn replied dryly.
"We''re right on time," n said, checking his watch.
Evelyn smiled thinly. "I was referring to the big picture."
I raised a brow and said, half-joking, "We''ve had vacation together for more than two weeks, Gramma. That''s pretty big picture, right?"
Evelyn''s expression softened just a little as she looked at me.
"Jake, you came," she said with something surprisingly close to affection.
Then, tilting her head, she added, "Jake, darling, tonight... don''t call me Gramma."
"Okay, Evelyn," I replied, half serious.
She gave a small nod, then nced behind me. "Oh, look, you didn''t bring wine. Good. Too many people bring wine," she said, her voice dipped in sarcasm.
Without a word, Uncle Charlie slipped a folded $100 bill into my hand.
I turned to him with a smug grin and gave him that ssic ''I told you so'' look.
Just then, Evelyn turned slightly and gestured toward the man waiting behind her.
"Tommy, darling, I''d like you to meet my sons."
She stepped aside to reveal Tommy¡ªan older, tall man in an immactely tailored suit, standing with perfect posture and a polite half-smile.
"This is Charlie," Evelyn said.
"Charlie," Tommy repeated with a nod.
"Hi, Tommy. How are you?" Uncle Charlie said.
"And this is n," Evelyn continued.
"Hello," n said, trying to sound weing.
Evelyn''s smile stretched wider. "And this is Jake."
Tommy extended his hand with calm confidence. I stepped forward and took it.
"Nice to meet you, sir," I said, shaking his hand firmly.
"Pleasure''s mine, Jake," he replied with a nod and a surprisingly warm smile.
His grip was strong, his suit impable, and he smelled faintly of expensive cologne and old books.
"There you are," Evelyn said, turning toward the hallway. "Boys, this is Tommy''s daughter, Olivia."
A young woman stepped forward¡ªelegant, confident, and beautiful.
"Hello, Charlie," Olivia said with a cool smile.
"Hi there, stranger," Charlie replied, eyebrows raising.
Tommy nced between them. "Do you two know each other?"
"I thought I knew him," Olivia said, folding her arms lightly.
"Oh no," Evelyn muttered under her breath.
I leaned in slightly, murmuring to myself, "Operation: Charm the Stepsister... alreadypleted."
That earned me simultaneous side-eyes from Evelyn, Charlie, and n.
"Okay, who would like a drink? I would like a drink," Evelyn dered, already moving toward the kitchen. "Charlie,e help me make a drink," she added, pulling him by the arm before he could escape.
Then she turned to me, her voice suddenly sweet. "Jake, honey, talk to Olivia."
"Me?" I said, surprised, ncing between her and Olivia.
My eyes were twitching. Okay, Gramma, I know Dad''s not exactly reliable, but you can''t just throw me under the bus like that.
Oh man, I thought, I don''t remember many of the episodes. Is she one of the crazy ones? Well... at least she''s gorgeous.
I cleared my throat and turned to her.
"Olivia. Nice name. Reminds me of Twelfth Night, from Shakespeare."
She smiled, a little amused. "You''ve read Twelfth Night?"
"Bits and pieces," I admitted. "But enough to know Olivia is one of the more interesting ones."
"Well," she said, raising an eyebrow, "I''ll take that as apliment. I''ve been told I have a ir for drama... but in a good way. Usually."
"Good to know," I said, matching her tone.
Then something clicked in my mind, and I murmured to her, "You knew he woulde here, didn''t you?"
She tilted her head slightly, her smile not fading. "Let''s just say... I had a feeling."
Feeling my ass
Before I could say anything else, Evelyn returned to the room with two sses in hand and sat down near Tommy. They both looked unusually cheerful.
"We took one of those little cruises to ska," Evelyn began, swirling her drink delicately. "ciers and whales¡ªI didn''t quite see the point of it all."
Tommy chuckled beside her, clearly amused. Olivia walked to Charlie
"But during the evening," Evelyn continued, "there was this karaokepetition." She paused for effect, lifting her chin slightly. "And as you know, I''m no stranger to the stage."
Meanwhile, across the room, things were heating up in an entirely different way.
"You said I was very special to you," Olivia said, arms crossed, facing Uncle Charlie.
"You were," Charlie replied, casual as ever.
"Yeah, me and three other women," she snapped.
"I said you were special, not unique," he tried to exin.
"Drop dead, you bastard," Olivia hissed.
"Excuse me!" Charlie raised his hands defensively. "In my defense¡ª"
And that''s when Olivia, without hesitation, threw her drink straight into Charlie''s face.
The room fell silent. Even Evelyn stopped mid-sip.
Everyone turned their eyes to Charlie, who stood dripping and blinking.
He lifted a hand, trying to recover some shred of dignity.
"In my defense..." he started again, then dropped his hand with a sigh.
"Oh, Screw it..."
------
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Chapter 48: The Lesson Ride
Chapter 48 - The Lesson Ride
n was driving, Charlie sitting in the front passenger seat, and I was in the middle of the back seat, watching the road roll by.
"So, what did we learn today?" n asked, using his best professor voice while keeping his eyes on the road.
"That we need to bring wine," I offered.
"No."
"That Gramma trusts me more than Dad. Even if the woman was, like, 30."
"No," n repeated, now sounding personally offended.
"I would too," Charlie muttered under his breath.
n turned and shot him a re.
"That Gramma thinks she seems younger if a twelve-year-old says she''s the mother... despite having two adults pushing forty standing next to her?" I continued.
"I''m thirty-six, Jake," n said,pletely indignant.
Charlie raised an eyebrow and turned slowly toward him. "How are you thirty-six if I''m thirty-five?"
Dad and I gave Charlie identical deadpan looks.
"Anyway, about the lesson..." n tried again.
"Oh, now I get it. If you like someone, make sure Uncle Charlie didn''t already paint their canvas before introducing them to the family."
"No... wait, that''s not wrong," n admitted reluctantly.
Charlie just gave me a re.
"But no," n said, straightening up. "What we learned, Jake, is that we need to treat others well¡ªso they don''t bite you back."
"But Uncle Charlie treated her well. Didn''t you hear? He treated four people well. The problem was exclusivity."
They both gave me synchronized stares.
"Oh! Now I get another one: Uncle Charlie screws up, but other people get the bite."
Charlie gave me another long re, this one quieter but just as sharp.
After a moment of silence, n unexpectedly smiled.
"What are you smiling about?" Charlie asked, narrowing his eyes.
"Just enjoying that, for once, I''m not the one at the center of Jake''s sharp tongue," n replied.
Charlie just sighed and stared out the window.
"Don''t worry," I said. "There''s still plenty of ride left."
¡ª¡ª¡ª
The next morning Charlie walked into the kitchen wearing his musician''s league uniform, cap slightly crooked, and a scowl already on his face.
"Stupid musician''s league," he said.
n was already at the counter with coffee. "What now?"
Charlie grabbed a banana and began pacing. "I don''t know why I bother. Get this¡ªtie score, we''re down to ourst out."
I sat at the table, curious. "Okay..."
"Our best hitter, Billy Kresky, is up," Charlie continued. "The bases are loaded... and so is Kresky."
"His whole family is standing behind the backstop, crying and pleading, ''Go back to rehab, Daddy, we love you!''" Charlie mimicked in a high-pitched voice.
"Needless to say, he choked."
n set his mug down and looked around. "Charlie, I think we''ve got a bigger problem."
Charlie didn''t look up. "What, someone forgot to restock the beer?"
"Our mother is missing."
Charlie paused mid-bite. "Don''t try to cheer me up."
"I''m serious," n said, his tone shifting. "I called her home, her car, her cell¡ªnothing."
Charlie raised an eyebrow. "Did you check with the captain of the flying monkeys?"
"Charlie!" n snapped.
Charlie shrugged. "She''s probably just sulking because I screwed up her dinner partyst week."
"That''s what I thought too," n said, his voice tightening. "Except I called her office, and they haven''t heard from her either."
Charlie''s smirk faded. "Okay. That''s weird."
"Yeah," n nodded. "I think somebody needs to go over there and make sure she''s okay."
I raised my hand slightly. "Why don''t you guys go? I''ll stay here in case she calls."
Both of them turned and looked at me in unison.
Charlie narrowed his eyes. "Nice try."
n just sighed. "You''reing."
"Oh man," I muttered.
¡ª¡ª¡ª
Fifteen minutester, we pulled up in front of Evelyn''s house.
I looked out the window and shook my head. "Just feels like it was yesterday that we came here." I paused. "Oh yeah, it was yesterday that we came here. Thank you, Uncle Charlie."
Charlie nced at me in the rearview mirror. "You''re wee, smartass."
"Look, there''s no one here. Let''s go," Charlie said as he stepped out of the car.
"No. I want to take a look," n replied firmly.
"You have a key?" Charlie asked.
"I''m the good son," n said.
"Even I have the keys," I added, pulling them from my pocket and giving them a jingle.
n unlocked the door. "Mom?" he called as we stepped inside.
"Okay, she''s not here. Let''s go," Charlie said, already turning around.
n flipped on the light.
Charlie froze. "Okay... she''s here. Let''s go."
"Charlie," n warned.
"Mom? Are you all right? Why haven''t you been answering the phone?"
Evelyn emerged slowly from around the corner, wrapped in a silk robe and holding a ss of something suspiciously strong.
"I didn''t want to burden anyone with my grief over thete Tommy Pearson," she said with dramatic ir.
"Tommy died?" n asked, rmed.
"He is dead to me," Evelyn rified coldly.
"Okay, what happened?" Charlie asked, raising an eyebrow.
"He dumped me," Evelyn said, taking a sip.
"Mom, I''m sorry," Charlie said genuinely. "But the thing between me and his daughter happened years before you met the guy."
"This has nothing to do with you, Charlie," Evelyn snapped. "God, you''re a narcissist."
She sighed, then added, "No, Tommy left me for some fresh-faced forty-five-year-old bimbo."
"I''m so sorry, Gramma," I said sincerely.
"I''m sorry, Mom," n added.
"Yeah. I''m sorry, too" Charlie said.
Evelyn looked at me with a soft expression. "Thank you, sweetheart." Then she turned to n. "Thank you, n." Her gaze shifted to Charlie, and her tone switched to dry sarcasm. "Nice try, Charlie."
------
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Chapter 49: Unwanted Houseguest
Chapter 49 - Unwanted Houseguest
"Now, if you will both please leave, I''d like to be alone," Evelyn said, with the same ir as someone announcing the end of a Broadway performance.
"We understand," Charlie replied, already halfway out the door.
"Charlie, wait! We can''t just leave her here," n protested.
Charlie stopped, turned around slowly, and said tly, "Fine. Where do you want to leave her?"
¡ª¡ª¡ª
Cut to all four of us crammed into the car, heading to Charlie''s beach house. Evelyn sat next to me in the back.
¡ª¡ª¡ª
At Charlie''s house, she''d made her way to the balcony and hadn''t moved since.
"How long is she going to sit out there?" Charlie asked, peeking through the blinds.
"I don''t know," n said. "I''ve never seen her this depressed."
"Somebody''s got to go out there and show her a little love and support," n added, looking around the room.
I huffed and stood up. "Okay, you bunch of unfilial sons."
Minutester, I came back inside, frustrated.
"I got nothing," I dered. "I even used my puppy eyes," I added, mildly indignant.
I slumped into the chair with a sigh. I''m not good in this kind of situation. I never really know what to say.
n stood up, took a deep breath, and headed outside to the deck.
From inside, we could see them talking¡ªwell, n talking, mostly. Evelyn barely moved, but she didn''t send him away, which already felt like progress.
After a few minutes, n turned toward the sliding door and gave us an exaggerated thumbs-up and a wide smile.
Charlie raised an eyebrow, then slowly returned the gesture with his own half-hearted thumbs-up with a smile
I looked between them and said, "Uncle Charlie, you do know that''s Dad out there, right?"
Charlie blinked, hesitated, and then turned back to peer out at the deck again.
¡ª¡ª¡ª
Cut to Uncle Charlie seated at the piano, wearing a mildly indignant expression, his fingers dancing over the keys with a surprisingly gentle touch. The living room lights were dimmed, casting a warm glow over the space.
Evelyn was singing while gracefully descending the staircase, her voice theatrical and full of ir. When she reached the bottom, she gave Charlie a quick nce.
"Pick it up, Charlie. We''re walking, not crawling."
Charlie gave her an incredulous look, then rolled his eyes.
Evelyn turned with dramatic ir and dered, "Are you ready, boots? Start walking."
Charlie sighed and shifted into a rhythmic, upbeat tune. Evelyn began strutting and twirling through the room, dancing her way toward n and me as we sat frozen in our seats.
When she finished her routine with a dramatic pose and a little wink, n and I broke into apuse.
"One more time!" I called out.
Charlie turned to look at me, clearly indignant.
I just shrugged with a helpless expression, as if to say, "What can I do?"
After a good while of dancing and singing, Evelyn finally ced a hand on her hip, slightly out of breath but still radiant.
"Jake, Gramma is a little tired," she said, turning toward me with a dramatic flourish. "Why don''t you sing a song for us?"
Charlie immediately perked up from the piano bench. "Yes, please. Let the musical prodigy take the spotlight."
I stepped toward the piano a little cautiously. "What kind of music do you want, Gramma?"
Evelyn ced a hand over her heart. "A sad one, Jake. That''s what I''m feeling."
"Okay..." I responded
I slid onto the piano bench, cracked my knuckles, and took a slow breath.
The first few notes floated through the room, gentle and familiar, and I began to sing:
(Let Her Go - Passenger)
?Well you only need the light when it''s burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go
Only know you''ve been high when you''re feeling low
Only hate the road when you''re missing home
Only know you love her when you let her go
And you let her go?
I began to y a little faster:
?Staring at the bottom of your ss
Hoping one day you''ll make a dreamst
But dreamse slow and they go so fast
You see her when you close your eyes
Maybe one day you''ll understand why
Everything you touch surely dies?
?But you only need the light when it''s burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go
Only know you''ve been high when you''re feeling low
Only hate the road when you''re missing home
Only know you love her when you let her go?
?Staring at the ceiling in the dark
Same old empty feeling in your heart
''Cause lovees slow and it goes so fast
Well you see her when you fall asleep
But never to touch and never to keep
''Cause you loved her too much and you dive too deep?
As thest note faded into the room, I slowly lifted my fingers from the keys.
There was a moment of silence¡ªno pping, noments. Just the weight of the song lingering in the air.
Evelyn looked at me with misty eyes, the wine ss forgotten in her hand.
"...That''ll do, Jake," she said softly. "That''ll do."
Charlie leaned slightly toward me and whispered, a little annoyed, "Hey, do you want Mom to stay here for months?"
I just rolled my eyes.
¡ª¡ª¡ª
Later that night, the house had gone quiet. The ocean waves outside provided a steady hum in the background.
Evelyn stood in deck, while Charlie was besides her
"I want you to be happy and... I love you," Charlie said, his voice low and sincere.
Evelyn sighed gently. "I guess I''ll go pack."
"Why?" Charlie asked, confused.
"I''m going home," she replied.
"In the middle of the night?" Charlie raised an eyebrow.
She turned "Charlie, you just said you loved me. You could only screw it up from here."
Charlie looked at her, halfway indignant, halfway speechless.
"She''s not wrong," I muttered from the doorway.
Charlie turned and gave me a sharp re.
"That''s not good peeping," he grumbled.
"You should do it more often," I said seriously. "We should do it more often what you did."
Then I added, a little softer but clear: "We still can fix this family."
He looked at me¡ªexpression unreadable¡ªand said nothing.
------
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Chapter 50: Therapy, Part II
Chapter 50 - Therapy, Part II
I was back in Dr. Linda''s office. Same neutral-colored walls, same subtle jazz music ying in the background, and the samefortable chair I always sank into like it was trying to swallow my stress whole.
Dr. Linda nced up from her notepad with her usual warm-but-professional smile. "Wee back, Jake. How was your trip?"
"Amazing," I replied.
Dr. Linda nodded thoughtfully. "In our sessions, we''ve talked about a lot of things, Jake. But today, I''d like to focus on rtionships¡ªor people you''ve met and found interesting."
I nodded. "Let''s start with Sheldon and Paige, the ones that I briefly mentioned in one of the sessions."
Dr. Linda nodded again. "The ones you called true geniuses, right?"
"Correct," I replied. "I believe in the concept of multiple intelligences proposed by Professor Gardner. But they definitely fit the more traditional idea of genius."
I leaned back slightly, remembering. "After I first met them at Sheldon''s house, my mom actually invited them over to our ce. That gave me a chance to really talk with them. Sheldon''s family moved from Texas to here so he could study at Caltech. Paige, on the other hand, went to Harvard and has been living in Cambridge. I think it''s been about a month now."
Dr. Linda nodded. "What do you think of them?"
"Hmm," I said, thinking aloud. "Sheldon feels like the kind of character where you max out intelligence but don''t have enough points left formon sense or social skills."
I paused, then added, "Paige seems even more intelligent than Sheldon and yet somehow has way better social skills too."
Dr. Linda tilted her head slightly and smiled. "I sense a ''but.''"
"But I would bet that Sheldon is the one who''ll make it big¡ªat least academically," I said.
I don''t know if he''ll win a Nobel Prize like in the show, and I have no clue if Paige might end up even more incredible, like winning two. Even without knowing the future, I''d still put my money on him.
"Why?" Dr. Linda asked, her tone genuinely curious.
I started counting on my fingers. "He''s self-centered, he has a lot of confidence in himself, hees from a good family (not a rich one, though)... and things that would be a problem for most people¡ªjust aren''t, or at least wouldn''t be as much, for him. Plus, he has real passion for the field he studies.
As for Paige, her parents are probably going to divorce¡ªher mother was talking to mine about it. She''s mature for her age, but that''s it. There''s a high chance she''ll have rtionship issues down the road. I remembered reading once about a woman who had a higher IQ than Einstein and still ended up working as a prostitute. Genius doesn''t guarantee a sessful life."
Dr. Linda looked at me, her expression calm but curious. "And do you think Paige could be someone like that?"
"A prostitute? I really hope not," I said. "But she has the red gs for a fallen genius. Then again, maybe I''m just imagining things."
Dr. Linda gave a small nod. "You could help."
"I could. But I''m not going to move to Cambridge just because of her. Nor do I think I can convince her parents to relocate here. But in the future, if what I said actually happens... I wouldn''t mind giving her a helping hand. It would be a waste to lose someone with so much potential."
Dr. Linda smiled softly and closed her notebook for a second. "Okay, let''s move on to the next one."
"Mandy and Rory," I said.
"Who?" Dr. Linda asked, raising an eyebrow.
"The girls I kissed on the trip," I said with a small smirk.
"Oh, you little charmer," Dr. Linda said,ughing.
"Well, I don''t have much to say about Mandy," I continued. "She''s a gorgeous blonde girl, probably surfs¡ªshe was carrying a surfboard when I saw her. And she''s 15, that''s pretty much it."
Dr. Linda raised one eyebrow.
"We weren''t going to have much time together," I added with a shrug. "So I figured I''d optimize the time doing something a little more interesting than just talking."
"And Rory?" Dr. Linda asked.
"Fifteen, stunning blue eyes, and intelligent. She goes to Chilton Preparatory School. Oh, and she wants to be a journalist. I thought that was a bit odd¡ªshe didn''t really strike me as the journalist type."
Dr. Linda leaned forward slightly. "And what makes you say that?"
I shrugged. "In my stereotypical view, journalists tend to be more open, a bit nosy, always looking for stories and connections. Rory... she seemed more quiet, reserved, kind of ''in her own world.'' Not the type who instinctively probes or digs into people."
Dr. Linda gave a thoughtful nod, jotting something down in her notebook. "Interesting observation."
I smirked. "I mean, she might surprise me. People do. But that''s just how she came across."
Dr. Linda nced at the clock, then back at me. "Before we wrap up, Jake¡ªsince you''re starting to have these experiences, what do you think about love and rtionships?"
"I think I''m too young to have anything serious," I said honestly. "I can''t imagine anything below fifteen. Even fifteen feels young, but the girls who are eighteen definitely aren''t interested in me."
I shrugged. "And I don''t n to get involved in anything sexual anytime soon. So basically, I''m safe."
Dr. Linda nodded slowly, then asked, "Anything else important you''d like to share before we finish today?"
I thought for a second, then shook my head. "Not really. But next week, yes."
"Oh?" Dr. Linda asked, intrigued. "What''s next week?"
"My birthday," I said with a smirk.
Dr. Lindaughed. "Of course. Then I guess we''ll have something else to talk about."
I grinned. "Definitely."
------
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Chapter 51: Birthday
Chapter 51 - Birthday
Tomorrow is my birthday. August 5th.
I got out of bed and headed to the kitchen, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. The smell of coffee and toast led the way.
Charlie and n were already there¡ªCharlie nursing a mug of coffee like it was the only thing keeping him alive, and n flipping through the newspaper like it was still 1995.
"Morning, almost-birthday boy," Charlie said with a smirk. "The studio''s ready for you. All set to record?"
I nodded, grabbing a te and helping myself to some breakfast.
After we finished eating, the three of us got into the car and drove to an actual recording studio in town. Charlie had booked it for the morning session¡ªmics, sound panels, a proper control room, and even a guy named Dave who looked like he hadn''t blinked since 1998. It was oddly professional for something that started as a casual idea.
¡ª¡ª¡ª
As we walked into the studio, n looked around, clearly still trying to wrap his head around it.
"Are you sure this is what you want for your birthday?" n asked, still not quite getting it.
"Come on, n, this is an easy one," Charlie said, rolling his eyes. "Why are you trying to change his mind?"
I looked at both of them and shrugged. "Yeah, this is exactly what I want."
Behind us was a red curtain, giving the space a theatrical vibe. My dad stood on my left, while Uncle Charlie was on my right. Both were wearing tuxedos with ssic ck bow ties. I, of course, had to be different¡ªI was in a matching tuxedo but with a red bow tie that popped against the dark suit.
The cameraman gave us a thumbs-up. "We''re rolling."
Charlie stepped up to the microphone and, without missing a beat, started: "Men men men men, manly men men men!"
Then my dad joined in with his deep, goofy tone: "Oo hoo hoo, hoo hoo, oo."
Finally, I stepped forward and belted it out with them:
"Men men men men, manly men, oo hoo hoo, hoo hoo, oo."
"Men men men men, manly men men men!" "hoo hoo" "Men men men men, manly men men men!"
and finished "haaa ah haaa."
We had to record it a few times, but finally, it turned out just the way I wanted. Perfect.
¡ª¡ª¡ª
The morning of my actual birthday began with Uncle Charlie flipping pancakes while humming a tune that had no rtion to the rhythm.
"Which sister is it again?" he asked, feigning ignorance, even though we both knew he was talking about the one he''d hooked up with at my dad''s wedding.
I raised an eyebrow. "Just try to behave. It''s my birthday, not a cabaret."
Charlie grinned. "No promises. But I do have a surprise for you."
I gave him another eyebrow raise before heading into the living room.
"Happy birthday!" Rose appeared next, handing me a neatly wrapped box.
"A magic set? Awesome," I said, doing my best to sound genuinely excited.
"How lovely," Evelyn chimed in. "Perhaps he''ll grow up to be a carny."
Rose ignored her. "It includes 14 different illusions that will amaze and astound your friends. But, of course, your friends may be smarter than mine."
"Aren''t you staying with us?" I asked.
Rose shook her head. "I wish I could, but I gotta go to some clown''s wedding. I''ll try ande back for cake, okay?"
I nodded and said "Thank you!"
"You''re wee. Bye, Evelyn," Rose added.
"Bye-bye. Thank you so much," Evelyn said, her tone vaguely patronizing.
She sighed. "Poor soul. I''m sure she meant well. Now¡ªopen Grandmommy''s present."
I remembered Rose as beingpletely crazy. So far, she seemed different¡ªjust a little entric. Still, I should probablye up with a n in case she ever goes full si-crazy like in the show.
"Clothes?"
"Happy birthday," Evelyn said.
"It''s Calvin Klein," she added with a proud smile. "You''ll be a hit with the girls, trust me."
"Thank you, Gramma." This time, I really meant it.
The doorbell rang
That''s when Mom and her sister walked in.
"Hey, Aunt Liz," I said, giving her a hug. "Nice dress!"
It was. Especially if she was a high-end escort. That said, it was undeniable¡ªmy aunt was beautiful.
"There''s my favorite nephew. Happy birthday, sweetie," Liz said, oblivious to my judgment.
"Hey everybody," Charlie said as he came from the kitchen.
"Uncle Charlie, look what Aunt Liz got me!" I held up the skateboard she''d given me, again, putting on my best excited voice.
"Awesome," Uncle Charlie replied.
"I don''t suppose you thought to buy him a safety helmet," Mom said.
"You ride with Aunt Liz, you take your chances. Right, Liz?" Charlie smirked.
Liz nced Charlie up and down and turned to her sister. "This guy? Are you sure?"
I muffled myugh.
The doorbell rang again.
This time, it actually surprised me. Tori showed up with her sister Trina¡ªdrama in high heels.
"Jake, happy birthday," Tori said, giving me a big hug. Trina offered a quick "congrats," but seemed more interested in the house.
"Hey, Tori. Nice to see you again."
Uncle Charlie gave me a mischievous grin and murmured, "What do you think about your surprise?"
Then, like a perfectly timed si moment, Sheldon and Missy showed up¡ªclearly Judith''s doing.
"Happy birthday, Jake," Missy said, giving me a hug. Then she looked to Tori standing next to me.
"Oh, boy," I murmured.
Missy and Tori exchanged nces.
"What''s wrong with them?" Sheldon asked aloud, handing me a gift.
"You''re a hopeless idiot, C-3PO," I muttered.
Sheldon frowned, outraged. "I have an IQ of 187. I''m a certified genius."
------
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Chapter 52: Birthday Chaos
Chapter 52 - Birthday Chaos
Soon enough, I found myself squished on the couch¡ªTori on one side, Missy on the other. Trina hovered near the snack table like she was auditioning for a reality show.
My aunt leaned toward my mom with a smirk. "Jake''s already popr. That''s impressive."
The doorbell rang¡ªagain. I stood up. "What now?" I muttered.
I opened the door¡ª
"Jake!" Joanieunched herself at me like a missile, arms wrapping tightly around my waist. "I missed you!"
Behind her stood Frankie¡ªthe woman who once totaled her therapist''s car. Yep. That Frankie.
Tori and Missy both shot Joanie synchronized res. Joanie, glowing with joy, remained blissfully unaware.
I nced at my dad, gritting my teeth.
Charlie looked at n. "You''re an idiot."
Then¡ªanother ring.
I sighed. "Maybe we should just leave the door open."
This time, I saw someone I truly didn''t expect: Paige Swanson.
She looked at Joanie glued to my side, then at Tori and Missy with their crossed arms, and immediately sized up the situation. A sly, mischievous smile curved across her face.
"Hi, darling," Paige said sweetly, wrapping her arms around my neck. "Did you miss me?"
"I knew you were trouble," I whispered. Herugh was muffled into my shoulder.
"How did you even get here?" I asked, genuinely curious. Last I knew, she was at Harvard.
"Your grandmother invited me. Paid for my whole family''s flight."
n and Charlie turned slowly to Evelyn.
"What?" she said. "The girl goes to Harvard. She''s clearly the best one."
Charlie stepped closer to me and murmured, "So, how''s it feel being the center of this... fan club?"
Missy on my left. Tori on my right. Joanie on myp. Paige''s arm around my shoulder.
I sighed. "Like I''m a Japanese MC from an Isekai."
Charlie blinked. "A what?"
¡ª¡ª¡ª
Later, Tori nudged me. "y something. It''s your birthday."
The others chimed in, encouraging.
I sat at the piano. Silence settled. I yed the first notes and sang:
(7 years ¨C Lukas Graham)
? Once I was seven years old, my mama told me Go make yourself some friends or you''ll be lonely ?
Judith watched from the corner, her expression softened.
? It was a big big world, but we thought we were bigger Pushing each other to the limits, we were learning quicker By eleven smoking herb and drinking burning liquor... ?
Everyone slowly turned to look at Charlie. His eyes widened. "That wasn''t my fault, he was twelve when he came here..." he whispered.
? Never rich so we were out to make that steady figure Once I was eleven years old, my daddy told me Go get yourself a wife or you''ll be lonely... ?
Everyone looked at n now.
He shrugged, red-faced. "It was a joke!"
Paige just looked teasing at Tori and Missy
I kept going:
? I always had that dream, like my daddy before me So I started writing songs, I started writing stories... Something about that glory just always seemed to bore me Cause only those I really love will ever really know me ?
? Once, I was twenty years old, my story got told Before the morning sun, when life was lonely Once, I was twenty years old... ?
The room was still now. Focused. A little awed.
? I only see my goals, I don''t believe in failure ''Cause I know the smallest voices, they can make it major I got my boys with me, at least those in favor And if we don''t meet before I leave, I hope I''ll see youter ?
? Soon we''ll be 30 years old, our songs have been sold, We''ve traveled around the world and we''re still roaming, Soon we''ll be 30 years old... ?
? I''m still learning about life My woman brought children for me So I can sing them all my songs and I can tell them stories Most of my boys are with me, some are still out seeking glory And some I had to leave behind, my brother, I''m still sorry ?
My voice lowered with the melody:
? Soon I''ll be 60 years old, my daddy got 61. ?
"Hey!" n snapped indignantly. "I''ll go beyond that!"
Iughed and kept going:
? Remember life and then your life bes a better one I made a man so happy when I wrote a letter once I hope my childrene and visit once or twice a month ?
Charlie and n were looking guilty to Gramma.
? Soon I''ll be sixty years old, will I think the world is cold? Or will I have a lot of children who can warm me? Soon, I''ll be sixty years old ?
? Soon I''ll be sixty years old, will I think the world is cold? Or will I have a lot of children who can hold me? Soon, I''ll be sixty years old ?
I ended with:
? Once I was seven years old, my mama told me Go make yourself some friends or you''ll be lonely Once I was seven years old. Once I was seven years old. ?
There was silence. It kind of hit hard for most, until Trina said:
"He''s cool, he''s cute, he''s rich, and he can sing??" she eximed. "He''s going to be my boyfriend!" she dered as she jumped on top of me.
And just like that, the chaos returned.
Way to ruin the moment...
¡ª¡ª¡ª
Later.
"Isn''t our lover boy," said Charlie, smirking.
The girls gave me kisses on the cheek. It started when Trina went in for a kiss on the lips, but I dodged¡ªso itnded on my cheek. Missy and Tori followed right after, probably not wanting to fall behind. Even Joanie gave me a kiss¡ªwith encouragement from her mother. What was her mom even thinking? She''s eight. Not that I''m ok with the others...
Paige added one too¡ªjust for the fun of it.
"To be honest, my first attempt was Rory," Uncle Charlie said. "But she quoted, ''I have nothing to do with a soon-to-be thirteen-year-old boy,'' and hung up."
"Figures..." I muttered.
------
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Chapter 53: The call
Chapter 53 - The call
A few days had passed since that messy birthday party. One of my eyes was slightly red¡ªprobably some kind of irritation¡ªso I decided it was time to get it checked.
Earlier today, I had a visit to the ophthalmologist. The clinic was bright, overly air-conditioned, and smelled faintly of disinfectant. I sat in the waiting room flipping through outdated magazines until a nurse called my name.
Inside the exam room, the doctor asked me to sit in the big chair and rest my chin on the weird contraption with all the lenses. He ran a few tests, shined a blinding light into both my eyes, and asked me to follow his finger.
"Any difort? Blurry vision? Itchiness?"
"Mostly twitching," I answered.
The doctor chuckled. "Maybe your eye has been twitching a lottely."
"You have no idea," I said, leaning back.
He nodded, scribbled a few notes on his clipboard, and stood. "Your vision''s perfectly fine. Just some irritation¡ªprobably due to screen time. Take these eye drops twice a day for a week. Everything else looks perfect."
I thanked him, grabbed the prescription, and walked out.
"So?" Uncle Charlie asked.
"It''s nothing. Just need to use some eye drops."
¡ª¡ª¡ª
Later that morning, we got back home. After putting the drops in my eyes, I had an idea.
I picked up the phone and called Rachel.
"Hello, is Rachel Brown there?"
"Hello? No. There''s only me, Rachel Green," came the familiar voice on the other end.
"You haven''t matured yet?" I asked in my usual voice.
"Jake!" she eximed with excitement, then added, exasperated, "Really, Jake?" I could almost see her deadpan face through the phone.
"You''re bing like Chandler," she said.
I exaggerated a gasp. "You take that back."
I could hear someughter from her.
"So why did you call?" Rachel asked.
"You and Charlie are the same. yers! You never call me back. What about my feelings?"
"Jake... I really need to talk to your uncle about what you''re learning."
Iughed and continued, "I just called because I went to the doctor today. Ophthalmologist. I need eye drops. Just imagine me putting that liquid in my little eyes."
I heard a small scream from her side.
"Hello," came another voice¡ªMonica''s.
"Hello, Monica!" I said enthusiastically.
yfully, she asked, "What did you do? Rachel is over here murmuring ''that little brat.''"
"Nothing," I replied innocently. "And I really wanted to talk to you. Rachel said you don''t get many friendly calls, so I''m calling to cheer you up."
"She said what?" Monica''s voice faded a bit. Then I heard her calling in the background, "Rachel, what did you say to him?"
Suddenly, another voice came on¡ªChandler.
"Hey, you really know how to make chaos," he said yfully.
I grinned. "Thank you. I try."
"So, what''s new?" I asked.
"We are official. Official-official," Chandler said, his voice a mix of excitement and disbelief.
"Wait, really?" I said, smiling. "Wow, congrats, man. You and Monica? Power couple energy." I said it genuinely¡ªI really liked Monica and Chandler as a couple.
"Don''t let her hear you say that," he whispered. "She''s already nning the color palette for the next five years."
"I heard that!" Monica''s voice called from the background.
Iughed.
Then Chandler said something I wasn''t expecting.
"Hey, I still remember our promise. If it happens, I''m inviting you."
"Woah, you''re all in, aren''t you?" I said, a little surprised. Then, with a more serious tone, I added, "Go for it, Chandler. You absolutely can handle it. Believe it."
Chandlerughed softly. "Is it weird that I feel happy a 12-year-old kid is cheering me on?"
"Nah, man. But it would be if it were a twelve-year-old girl," I said with a smirk. "And I''m thirteen now, had my birthday a few days ago."
"Hey, congrats, little man," Chandler replied warmly.
In the background, I heard Rachel''s confused voice, "Wait, what for?"
Chandler responded, "It was his birthday a few days ago."
"Hey! Happy birthday, Jake," I could hear Rachel say now. She had taken the phone back.
"Thanks, Rachel," I replied with a grin she couldn''t see¡ªbut probably imagined anyway.
"So, how was your birthday?" she asked.
"A little bit messy," I admitted,ughing.
"Tell me everything," Rachel said.
I knew there was no going back¡ªshe would nag until I told her. So I decided to narrate the whole day. As I started talking, I could hear Chandler and Monica''s quiet breathing on the line, clearly listening in.
By the time I finished, there wereughs on the other end.
"Oh, you, Mister Popr," Rachel said, still giggling. "So every family member invited a girl for you?"
I rolled my eyes, smiling. "It wasn''t like that... well, maybe a little."
"But they''re way too young. At most, I think of friendship."
"What about that Rory girl?" Rachel asked.
"She ditched me. Can you believe it? The awesome me," I said, indignantly.
Moreughter followed.
"But you''re okay, right?" Rachel asked, a little bit concerned.
"Oh yeah. I was only attracted to her beauty. I don''t have other feelings, and I don''t even know her that well."
I paused for a beat, then added with a smirk, "But I wouldn''t mind a ''remember.''"
That got them allughing again.
The call went on for a little longer, with random jokes and sarcastic remarks flying back and forth.
Eventually, Monica said she had to cook something before it burned, Chandler mumbled something about running from domestic responsibilities, and Rachel told me to call her more often.
------
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Chapter 54: The Day After
Chapter 54 - The Day After
Charlie, n, and I were sitting around the dining table, each of us poking at small, elegant boxes of fancy food from a new restaurant we had decided to try
"This is really good!" Charlie said, his voice slightly more alive than earlier. "Check this out."
He used a pair of wooden chopsticks to lift a bite-sized piece of what looked like seared tuna drizzled in some fancy ze.
I leaned over and took it off the chopsticks.
"Wow, that''s good," I said, surprised. "I''m ordering that next time."
I took another bite, leaned back, and sighed contentedly. "I love to be rich."
n gave Charlie a look and said, "You might not want to share your chopsticks with him. I think he''se down with something."
I looked weirdly at Dad. "Dad, I went to the ophthalmologist..."
"No, I think you have a little flu," n said.
I shrugged. "If you say so."
Charliepletely ignored the conversation and chimed in, "Before I forget, you got ns for tomorrow night?"
"No," n replied.
"Make some," Charlie said with a smirk, "I''m gonna need the house to myself."
I raised an eyebrow. "Who''s the lucky one?"
"Kathy," Charlie said casually. "She lives up the beach. Beautiful woman. Only problem¡ªshe''s married to kind of a friend of mine."
I scoffed. "At least you have that limitation."
"But he cheats on her with her best friend," Charlie added, "She throws him out..."
"I get it, the revenge type," I said casually.
"Jake!" n snapped.
"What? He cheats on her, she probably wants to do the same. ''Eye for an eye.'' You can even find that in the Bible."
"An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind," n said, shaking his head.
I smirked. "Yeah, well... I don''t think Gandhi ever met Uncle Charlie."
Charlie reached over and grabbed thest few pieces from my box.
"Hey!" I said, only half serious.
n raised an eyebrow. "I told you not to eat his food. He''sing down with something."
Charlie shrugged and popped a piece into his mouth. "Rx. I never get sick."
¡ª¡ª¡ª
The next morning, I walked into the living room to find my dad bundled up in a hoodie, with tissues stuffed in his sleeves, sniffling miserably.
"Yeah, Dad, you were really correct," I said, watching him blow his nose like a foghorn.
n looked up with watery eyes. "This isn''t funny."
Charlie walked in, perfectly fine, sipping his coffee. "Well, I can''t say he didn''t warn me."
I shook my head, went to the kitchen, and grabbed a bottle of water. Then I dug through the cab until I found the flu medicine.
"Here," I said, handing them to Dad. "Hydrate and medicate."
n gave me a weak smile. "Thank you, Jake."
"I ordered chicken soup, so you don''t have to worry about food," I added.
"Oh, Jake, I love you!" n said dramatically, reaching out like he wanted to hug me.
I took a few steps back. "Let''s save that for when you''re not contagious." even if was probably me who infected him
After making sure Dad was set up with soup, medicine, and a box of tissues, I grabbed my backpack and waited in the living room.
Mom arrived shortly after
¡ª¡ª¡ª
A few dayster, I was back in Malibu. As soon as I walked into the house, Dad was already giving me a recap of everything that happened after I left.
"So Uncle Charlie got sick that day, huh?" I said, then murmured, "What a bad luck."
Right then, Charlie walked in with his usual smug grin, looking bright and energized.
"Good morning, everyone!" he said cheerfully, as if he hadn''t been patient zero two days ago.
"I thought you''d be in a bad mood," I said, eyeing him. "You didn''t get the revenge type..."
"Jake!" n snapped
"Yeah," Charlie said with a touch of regret. "But I got a little email this morning from an ex-girlfriend who says she needs to ''see'' me," he added, making air quotes with his fingers.
Berta, who had just walked in with aundry basket, raised an eyebrow. "No kidding. I wonder if she''s ''knocked up,''" she said, matching his air quotes perfectly.
Iughed.
Then I paused for a second.
Funny. It felt like I hadn''t seen Berta in a long time¡ªeven though I''d literally seen herst week.
"Nobody''s knocked up," Charlie said quickly. "I haven''t heard from her in five years."
"So she''s bringing you a four-year-old," Berta replied, deadpan.
"Believe me, nobody''s bringing anything," Charlie muttered.
"Remember Jill?" he added.
"Jill the slob?" Berta asked.
"Yeah, but do you remember how hot she was?"
"Sure, she was a tight unit," Berta said, setting the basket down. "But she left dirty dishes everywhere. Swear to God, this broad left half-eaten casseroles in the bathtub."
"So?" Charlie shrugged. "With a body like that, she could drink out of the toilet if she wanted to."
"Eww, Uncle Charlie," I groaned. "I''m still eating here."
"Wait a minute. Isn''t she the one who dumped you?" Berta asked, narrowing her eyes.
""Somebody dumped Charlie?"" Dad and I said in unison.
"Broke his little ck heart," Berta said with a smirk. "It was pathetic."
"She didn''t dump me," Charlie insisted. "She had personal problems and moved to Europe to, you know, find herself."
""Berta?"" Dad and I said, turning toward her.
"He wept," Berta said tly.
"I did not. I felt the appropriate amount of sadness for a good rtionship that had run its course," Charlie said, lifting his chin.
We both looked at Berta again
"I had to carry him to bed three nights in a row," she replied without missing a beat.
"I was perfectly happy sleeping under the deck," Charlie said defensively.
""Right,"" we replied in unison, giving him matching deadpan stares.
Dad and I perfectly timed side a high-five
------
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Chapter 55: An Old Flame with a new wick
Chapter 55 - An Old me with a new wick
Dad and I were still finishing our breakfast, when Charlie went to meet Jill, twirling his car keys.
Before he could step out the door, Berta yelled from the kitchen, "You bring her home, you clean up after."
Then she nced at Dad and added, "Thank God you never get any."
And turning her gaze to me, she finished, "And thank God you''re too young."
"Berta!" Dad said, clearly offended.
"What?" Berta shot back. "About you, it''s true. And him¡ª" she pointed at me, "he''s a smart and polite version of Charlie. Which really makes me worry about how much I''ll have to clean his room in the future."
"I''ll give you a great raise," I said with a grin.
"See? Intelligent," Berta added, pointing at me again.
¡ª
The next day, I was walking into the living room when the front door opened.
Uncle Charlie stumbled in, clearly drunk, behind him was some random guy I had never seen before, looking a little sober
"Hey, Uncle Charlie," I called out, trying not tough. "Bad luck again?" I asked, ncing at the guy trailing him in.
"Hey Jill¡ªI mean, Bill, this is my nephew Jake," Charlie slurred, waving an arm in my direction.
"Hello, Jake," Bill said with a polite nod. "Charlie talked a lot about youst night."
I stepped forward and offered a handshake. "Nice to meet you, Bill."
The second our hands touched, my eyes widened.
Charlie definitely said ''Jill'' first.
And now that I thought about it, I vaguely remembered one of Charlie''s exes who had transitioned (in one of the episodes)
Without saying another word, I turned and bolted out.
"Where are you going?" Charlie slurred behind me.
I didn''t answer. I headed straight to the desk in the living room. I remembered the photo¡ªone I had once found in the drawer of that very desk and asked Charlie about. He told me it was ''Jill''.
I yanked open the drawer and grabbed the framed picture.
I walked back into the front door and stared at the photo, then looked up at Bill. Then back to the photo. Then to Bill again.
Finally, I held it out in front of him.
"Is this your sister," I asked, "or did you go to Europe ande back with a sausage?"
Charlie burst outughing. "See? I told you he''s a genius."
I looked back at Bill and shrugged. "Hey, I''m not judging. And I won''t judge if Uncle Charlie wants to try something different."
Charlie stared at me with a deadpan expression, clearly unamused.
Bill, on the other hand, chuckled softly, shaking his head.
Just then, a car horn honked from outside.
"Hey, Mom''s here," I said, heading toward the door. "I''ll be back tomorrow, Uncle Charlie. Good to meet you, Bill."
¡ª
The next day, I was back in Malibu. I dropped my bag by the door and made my way into the kitchen, where Berta was already brewing coffee and Charlie was nursing what looked like the world''s worst hangover.
"Rough night?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.
Charlie just grunted, shielding his eyes from the sunlight streaming through the windows.
At that moment, the front door swung open again.
Evelyn walked in, arm in arm with Bill. They both looked surprisingly cheerful.
"Hi, everyone," Evelyn said brightly.
I blinked. "You two are together?"
"Yes," Evelyn replied without hesitation.
I made a face that would''ve made Michael Scott from The Office proud.
"Really, Jake? You''re thest person I''d expect to judge," Evelyn said, raising an eyebrow.
"Believe me, Gramma, it''s not what you''re thinking," I replied quickly.
¡ª
Later that day, I stepped out of my room and made my way to the living room.
Uncle Charlie was siting on the couch, a ss of whiskey in his hand.
Dad was pacing back and forth, muttering something under his breath (something about age difference)
I looked at Charlie, then back at Dad.
"I''m wondering if I need to start drinking too," I said dryly.
"Jake!" Dad snapped.
"Believe me, n, he has a point," Charlie mumbled, taking another sip of whiskey.
I walked over to the desk in the living room and pulled open the drawer again, taking out the same photo of Jill.
Holding it in one hand, I turned to Dad.
"Hey, Dad," I said casually. "What do you prefer: red pill or blue pill?"
Dad gave me a weird look. "When did you watch The Matrix?"
"But my choice is the red one," he added with a thoughtful tone. "Always the truth," he said with a faux-philosophical air.
Charlie murmured from the couch, "He says that, but he keeps taking the blue one."
Dad red at Charlie.
I shrugged and added, "I don''t fault him. You don''t y pool with a rope."
Now Dad turned his re on me.
"Anyway, here, Dad¡ªyour red pill," I said, handing him the framed photo of Jill.
"Okay... who is she?" Dad asked, staring at the photo.
"Jill. Charlie''s ex-girlfriend," I replied.
"Okay... why am I looking at it?" Dad asked, confused.
"Just look at it," Charlie said from the couch.
"She''s cute. Very tall. Broad shoulders," Dad said, nodding slightly¡ªthen his eyes widened in horror. "HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!" he screamed.
"Wee to the Matrix," Charlie muttered, sipping his drink without looking up.
"See, Dad?" I said, folding my arms. "I told you I need a drink."
------
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Chapter 56: Beyond the Matrix
Chapter 56 - Beyond the Matrix
"Holy... this really is Jill?" he said, nearly dropping the photo.
n kept staring. "So Jill is..."
"Yep," Charlie confirmed again.
"And you and Jill used to..." n began.
"Every chance we got," Charlie said with a smirk.
"And Mom is..." n trailed off.
"At this very moment," Charlie finished, taking another sip of his drink
"HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!" n screamed again.
Charlie leaned back and looked at him. "You know what this means, right?"
"That my uncle and my gramma slept with the same dude?" I said
n and Charlie both turned to stare at me.
"That my uncle slept with his almost stepsister, and now he slept with his almost stepdad?" I continued.
Their stares only intensified.
"Are you finished?" Charlie asked tly.
"Yeah," I said with a sigh. "Only got those two."
Charlie, set his drink down, and said, "That means that... I slept with a woman... who wanted to be a man. Or... I slept with a man in a woman''s body."
"Excuse me, could we just table that for now and discuss how this impacts on our mother?" n asked, clearly trying to regain some sanity.
"Why?" Charlie said, already pouring himself another drink. "The damage has been done. All that''s left to do now is drink until the part of the brain that creates mental pictures is dead."
"Hey, what about me?" I said, throwing up my hands. "I think I''m a liberal in many aspects, but this one is really creepy."
Charlie looked at me and said, "You''re the smartest of us, and the one that does therapy. You''ll survive."
I rolled my eyes, then
"Oh, I got another one," I added. "It''s been a while since Grandma had a rtionship with someone who''s had more surgery than she has."
¡ª
The next morning, I was making my way toward the kitchen, still rubbing the sleep from my eyes.
"Morning, Berta," I called out casually.
"Morning, kid," she replied
I stepped in and had barely taken my seat when I heard Berta shout, "Gadzooks!" from the living room.
Momentster, n and Charlie shuffled into the kitchen, both still groggy.
"Morning," n mumbled.
"Morning," Charlie said, heading straight for the coffee.
"So, how was your weekend?" Berta asked, ncing at us.
"Fine," n answered.
"Okay," Charlie muttered.
"Could be better," I said, slumping into my chair.
"Nothing exciting happening in your world, Charlie?" Berta asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Like what?" Charlie replied.
"I don''t know," Berta said casually. "Go to a fun party? See a great movie? Run into an old me with a new wick?"
I immediately choked on my drink and spilled some across the table.
"What are the odds?" Berta added. "One brother turns them gay, and the other turns them guy."
I burst outughing. n and Charlie, who had both been staring at Berta, slowly turned their heads to look at me.
"What? That one was good," I said with a shrug.
"If you don''t mind, Berta, I''d rather not talk about it," Charlie said, a little annoyed.
"Okay. I''ll fix you something to eat," Berta said as she stood up from her chair.
"How about a sausage link and a couple eggs?" she added with a smirk.
"Hello? Anybody home?" came Evelyn''s voice from the front door.
"Oh, no," Charlie, n, and I said in unison.
"Charlie, I need to talk to you about your friend, Bill," Evelyn called out as she walked in.
"I need to study. Nice to see you here, Gramma," I said quickly, grabbing my te and making my exit.
As I turned the corner, I could hear Uncle Charlie mutter under his breath, "Lucky bastard."
¡ª
Later that afternoon, the four of us¡ªBerta, Charlie, n, and I¡ªsat silently in the living room, eyes fixed on the scene unfolding outside the window. Evelyn and Bill were talking on the deck.
"What are you doing here? You finished cleaning hours ago," n asked Berta, ncing over.
"I took a nap in theundry room so I''d be fresh for the big show," Berta replied without missing a beat.
Charlie turned to me with a glint in his eye. "Jake, want to hear some curiosity?"
"Sure," I said, leaning in.
"They," Charlie began suggestively, "are made out of Teflon."
I made a weird face and muttered, "So ''hit in the nuts'' still means nothing to him?"
Charlie chuckled.
"Okay, I think he''s going for it," n said, eyes on Bill through the window.
We could see them clearly¡ªEvelyn seemed to say "What?" with a puzzled look, but then, to everyone''s surprise, she leaned in and kissed him.
"Wow, that went surprisingly well," n muttered.
"Damn," Berta added under her breath.
But then, Bill kept talking.
"Wait a minute, what''s he doing?" said Charlie
We watched as Evelyn''s expression shifted. She pointed at Bill, then turned slightly and pointed toward Uncle Charlie.
Charlie gave a brief wave and a weak, awkward smile.
Then, to our shock, Evelyn pointed at Bill again¡ªand copsed, falling back onto the deck like a dropped marite.
"There you go," Berta said with a satisfyingly smug tone.
She stood up, brushing off her pants. "See you tomorrow."
Charlie and Dad rushed out onto the deck to help her.
¡ª
The next day, Evelyn sat in the living room with n and Charlie on either side.
"Okay, we''ll make a list," n said, trying to sound practical. "The pros and cons of continuing your rtionship with Bill."
"Mom?" he prompted gently.
Evelyn crossed her arms thoughtfully. "Well, he certainly understands women."
"Okay, that''s a pro," n nodded.
"He used to be a woman," Charlie chimed in.
"He slept with Charlie when he was a woman," n added.
"Pro. No, wait, con. Definitely con," Charlie corrected himself.
"What''s the score?" Evelyn asked.
"It''s about even," n said.
"He''s gorgeous. He can afford beach-front property. And he''s got a trunk full of fabulous shoes that fit me perfectly."
She stood up, smiling.
"Don''t wait up. Mommy''s got a date."
"So no one cares that I''m having breakfast here?" I asked, a little indignant.
------
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Chapter 57: Jake’s Investment Report
Chapter 57 - Jake''s Investment Report
It was early in the morning, and the house was still quiet. I sat at the kitchen table with a cup of tea, the sunlight spilling across the polished wood. In front of me was thetest report from the Harper Management Fund.
It was the end of August. Summer was winding down, and the start of school was just around the corner. And, after months of back-and-forth, my parents were finally finalizing their divorce. Legally separating. Officially done.
Uncle Charlie wandered into the kitchen, still in his pajamas, and headed straight for the coffee maker (as always). "Morning," he mumbled.
"Morning," I replied, still focused on my report.
He peered over my shoulder. "What are you looking at? Some boobs?" he said jokingly, with azy grin on his face.
Then, ncing at the numbers on the paper, his eyes widened. "Wow, that''s even better than boobs. Are you sure the amount of zeros is correct?"
"Yeah," I said, rolling my eyes. "I have around 16.9 million, you 10.9 million, Gramma 8.9 million, and Dad... 4 million."
Yeah, I thought to myself, from the initial 10.7 million, we now have around 40.7 million. An incredible 280% return in just a few months¡ªall thanks to the put options. (April was 24 million)
I paused for a moment, then added, "That''s after fees and some taxes, of course."
Charlie let out a low whistle. Then, with a furrowed brow, he asked, "Howe you have much more than me? We started the same, no?"
"That, Uncle Charlie," I said with a smirk, "is the eighth wonder of the world. The power of 2/20¡ªespecially the 20% performance fee management."
Since the S&P 500 has been negative this year, any positive return I make stands out¡ªand I get to charge 20% of that as performance. Not a bad setup (for me).
"So we''re paying you up?" Charlie asked, surprised.
"Yeah," I said casually. "Like you''d tip a waiter in a nightclub... or a dealer in a casino."
Only in my case, it''s millions.
"I understand," Charlie said, nodding slowly, not caring. Then his eyes lit up with a mischievous glint. "But now that I have 10 million, should I buy a boat or a ne?"
I scoffed. "Uncle Charlie, just live like you''re living. We don''t need those big toys right now. If you want, rent one. In a few years, you might have as many boats as you want."
Charlie thought about it for a moment, then shrugged. "Okay, smartass, you''re my financial advisor after all."
And speaking of that, we''d fired Uncle Charlie''s old ountant months ago and brought in a well-regarded firm. After cutting some unnecessary spending, Uncle Charlie now had a monthly surplus of around 10 to 20 grand. He could spend even more on women and booze¡ªnot that I was going to say that to him, though.
Right then, Dad walked in, yawning. "Good morning, everyone," he said, stretching his arms.
He stepped closer and nced at the paper in front of me. "Holy mother! I didn''t know you had that much money!" he eximed, eyes wide in surprise.
I scoffed again. "Really? I think Gramma might be the only one I can slightly trust about money."
"With that much money," Dad said, a little sarcastically, "you should be the one paying alimony."
I just side looked at Charlie.
Charlie raised his cup and said to me, "You kill, I hide the body!"
But then I changed my tone and looked at Dad. "But Dad, are you really okay with our arrangement?"
Dad opened his arms a little and then let them fall to his sides. "Yes. I think it''s fair!"
"What arrangement?" Charlie asked, raising an eyebrow.
"They''re splitting the portion of the fund that belongs to Dad, half and half," I exined. "I even offered to contribute a portion of mine, but as Mom said¡ªand I quote¡ª''Jake, that is your money. I will not touch a single penny.''"
Charlie shook his head. "I was thinking that Judith was worse than our mother, but I think I was wrong. She just wants to whip your Dad."
Dad red at Charlie, not amused.
"And the second arrangement involves you, Uncle Charlie," I added, turning his way.
Charlie raised both eyebrows. "Okay..."
"My custody will be flexible¡ªlike it is now. I''ll live here and there, with no obligation for specific days. So I''ll be your care too."
Charlie chuckled. "I thought it was something serious. You''re always wee here, Jake," he said with a big smile on his face, giving me a pat on the back.
Dad smiled too. "And same here. I''ll continue living here too."
Dad seemed to wait for the same warm response I got. But Uncle Charlie only looked at him, narrowed his eyes, said nothing... and went back to sipping his coffee.
A slightly awkward silence settled over, the kind that made even the hum of the refrigerator sound louder than usual.
Then Berta appeared, stepping into the kitchen. "Morning, boys," she said, giving us all a quick nce
We all responded with a chorus of "Morning."
"So, what''s the news?" Berta asked, pouring herself a cup.
"n finally got divorced," Charlie said.
Berta looked at Dad with a smirk. "So he''s gonna get whipped."
Dad gave her a t look.
Then Dad sighed and turned to Charlie and me. "We need to go to thewyer at 10," he said.
I nced at the clock, then at Dad, and let out a soft sigh. "Do we really have to go?" I asked. "I already have the two agreements I want," I added
------
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Chapter 58: Lawyer Visit
Chapter 58 - Lawyer Visit
"Yes Jake, you need to go. She wants to meet you."
"Okay..." I replied, then raised an eyebrow. "Do you think it''s smart to bring Uncle Charlie there?"
Charlie looked at me, slightly offended. "Hey, I thought you trusted me."
"I trust you most of the time. But not with a Beverly Hills chick," I said, narrowing my eyes.
Charlie smirked, but before he could say anything, Dad cut in, "She is a professionalwyer, Jake."
"If you say so," I said with a shrug.
¡ª
The three of us sat in thewyer''s office, the room sleek and modern, with ss walls and polished furniture.
"These divorcewyers have a good business, don''t they?" Uncle Charlie said, leaning back in his chair.
"Yeah, in the same way locusts have a good business," Dad replied dryly.
A paralegal walked in with a tray of coffee. Charlie leaned forward and took a sniff.
"Smells good," Uncle Charlie said.
"So does the coffee," he added with a grin.
Dad looked over at me. I gave him a face that clearly said, "I told you so."
"Look, I am paying my attorney by the hour, so just speak when spoken to and otherwise, you know, just shut up," Dad said, clearly annoyed.
"If you''d listened to me in the first ce, you wouldn''t be in this mess. I''m the one who told you not to marry her," Charlie replied.
"You''re also the one who told me that if I jumped off the garage roof with a bath towel tied around my neck, I could fly to school," Dad shot back.
"And you believed that?" I asked, astonished.
Charlie grinned. "The one time you listened to me."
Dad turned to me, "Let me tell you another thing. If I hadn''t married Judith, you wouldn''t be born."
"I didn''t say you couldn''t knock her up," Charlie added casually.
I raised my eyebrows. "Well, Uncle Charlie has a point."
"Jake!" Dad said, clearly exasperated.
Just then, the door opened and thewyer walked in.
"Okay, let''s get started," she said professionally.
"Wow!" Charlie muttered under his breath.
"Charlie," Dad warned.
"Laura Lang," thewyer introduced herself, extending her hand.
"Jake Harper," I said, shaking it.
"Charlie Harper," Uncle Charlie added smoothly.
"Didn''t you used to date Superman?" Uncle Charlie asked, a smirk tugging at his lips.
"That''s Lana Lang," Laura replied, unamused. "She was Superboy''s girlfriend. And guys have been using that tired old line on me since the fifth grade."
"Did it ever work?" Charlie asked with a hopeful grin.
"Let''s just get down to business, okay?" Laura replied, clearly unimpressed.
¡ª
That day, I had also started new guitar and DJ sses. I wanted to expand my repertoire without relying on someone else to y.
When I entered Uncle Charlie''s houseter that evening, I saw Dad sitting in the armchair with an angry expression on his face.
He crossed his arms and muttered, "Yeah, you told me so."
"Hey, you didn''t even give me time to make my ''I told you so'' face!" I replied.
"That bad?" I added, raising a brow as I made my way toward the kitchen.
Dad just let out a deep sigh and sank further into the chair.
"My books... pay the ex-wife''s dry cleaning for life... buy Judith''s parents a retirement condo in Boca Raton..."
"Wow," I said just as Uncle Charlie walked in through the front door.
And then I saw a Tom & Jerry live action.
¡ª
A few dayster, I went down for breakfast and saw Uncle Charlie and Dad already at the table.
"Are you two talking again?" I asked.
They both mumbled, but nodded in agreement.
"Dad, if it''s any constion, Laura Lang won''t be able to get hired by even a fifth-rate office after this," I added.
"What?" Dad asked, surprised.
"Oh, Grandma has moreworking than I imagined," I said nonchntly.
"You talked to Mom?" Charlie asked, astonished.
"Of course," I said. "We can screw each other over, but not let some bimbo do it and get away with it."
¡ª
I leaned back in my chair and changed the subject. "Hey, Uncle Charlie, congrattions. You''ll be my legal guardian if Mom and Dad die."
"I will?" Charlie said, eyes wide with surprise.
"I said at first only to irritate Judith," said n.
Charlieughed. "That is a good one." Then he paused and frowned. "Hey, you don''t want me to keep Jake?" he said, now annoyed.
"Charlie, you''re not exactly the perfect parental role model" n replied sarcastically, "but Jake insisted..."
"Yeah, Uncle Charlie, Dad wanted me to stay with some potato farmers. Can you believe it?" I added
"They are university professors, Jake," Dad said, exasperated.
"Really? Grandma said they are potato guys..."."Either way, I''m not some random kid," I said, folding my arms. "I''m worth millions, I don''t know them very well, and I don''t trust them."
n shook his head. "They are family, Jake. And your Uncle Charlie could find the wrong woman..."
"Dad, Uncle Charlie''s been living this life for years, and he still hasn''t paid a single alimony and the house is still in his name," I said with a smirk. "He''s either smart or has divine protection."
Charlie raised his cup with a grin.
"Divine protection, huh? Well, someone up there must like me. Or maybe they just want to keep theedy going."
I murmured, "Gramma was not happy with it, though."
"What is done, is done. That is my final will." n said, resigned. "Let''s just change the subject, shall we?" he continued, then turned to me. "Jake, tomorrow you''ll be starting at your new school."
"Oh yeah," I said, a little cheerful.
"I''m not that worried¡ªif it doesn''t work out, I''ll just change schools again..."
------
A/N: n and Judith equally split both the Harper Fund shares and the money from various bets kept outside the fund (and that''s by far the most significant part of the assets). I never really understood that episode. If n didn''t sign anything, it''s not like everything magically became valid just because thewyer agreed
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Chapter 59: High School
Chapter 59 - High School
It''s been a month since I started high school, and so far, it''s been smooth.
Now, Dad and I were walking toward the principal''s office because of some of my "mischievings."
As we walked down the hallway¡ª
"Hey, Jake!" Parker greeted, nodding with a grin, surrounded by his football teammates.
A few stepster¡ª
"Hello, Jake."
"Hi Emily," I replied, shing her a charming smile.
A few more steps¡ªtwo pretty girls were giggling near the lockers. As I passed by, one of them turned to me.
"Hi Jake, want to hang out this Saturday?"
"Hello, Amy," I said, pretending to think for a moment before adding yfully, "That can do. Saturday, 2 p.m.?"
She nodded and returned to giggling with her friend.
By the time we reached the end of the corridor, the same scene had happened several more times.
Right before we entered the office, Dad stared at me, stunned.
"That, that, this..." he stammered, unable to form a full sentence.
I raised an eyebrow. "You need to say more than that, Dad. I don''t understand you."
n snorted. "You''ve been here for a month¡ªA month. How are you so popr?" he asked, still confused and incredulous.
"What can I say? I''m a delightful person!" I said with a shrug.
n snorted again.
n started, "If it was just being delightful, I would be super..."
But before he could finish, I opened the principal''s office door.
Inside, Principal Franklin was seated at his desk, Mrs. Ridges stood nearby, and Carly sat across from him.
I greeted everyone politely. Principal Franklin looked surprised when he saw me walk in with my dad.
"You already came with your dad?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.
I gave a casual shrug. "He already brought me here anyway," I said, like it was no big deal. I didn''t really mind dragging my parents into school matters.
Franklin cleared his throat, trying to shift the tone.
"Have a seat. So, I understand you put some fliers up all over the school," he said, looking at Carly.
Before Carly could respond, Franklin handed one of the fliers to my dad.
n chuckled¡ªuntil he nced at Mrs. Ridges and quickly straightened up. "Okay, yeah, not funny," he said to me.
Carly exhaled. "Yes, it was me," she admitted.
n crossed his arms and said, "Okay... and how was my son involved? This girl already admitted she did it..."
Principal Franklin sighed and looked down at some papers on his desk.
"We have information that it was your son who financed the whole operation," he said. "And that he bribed a few students to help distribute the fliers around the school."
"Jake," Dad said sternly.
"I''m just a promoter of creativity and the arts," I replied, putting on a self-righteous tone like I was defending a noble cause, "and I just moving the economy hiring people" I added
"Let''se back to the principal culprit," Mrs. Ridges said, turning to Carly. "Why would you photo doc my head onto a body of a rhinoceros?"
"Well, I¡ª"
"Rhinoceros? No, no, no, she made you a hippopotamus," Principal Franklin interjected.
"No, no, she''s a rhinoceros. Hippopotamus'' have wider thighs and a wider snout," Carly corrected.
"Does it matter?" Ridges snapped. And she added "I think I have the right punishment. You know, Carly, I am in charge of the talent show this year."
"Yeah, you''re holding auditions on Saturday."
"No, you are." responded Professor Ridges
"HUH!"
"I will be enjoying my Saturday while you video tape the auditions for me!"
"NO! I''m going to see The Cuddle Fish y live this Saturday!"
"Not anymore! And Jake will help you."
"AW, COME ON!" I said together with Carly
"It''s what you get for turning me into a Hippopotamus!"
"Rhinoceros..." Carly and I said in unison.
"GET OUT!" Ridges yelled.
¡ª
The three of us walked out of the principal''s office.
n gave a small smile. "I need to go son. And nice to meet you, Carly." he waved his hand after
I gave a casual wave back. "Try not to get into trouble, Dad."
He looked at me weirdly, shook his head, and walked away without another word.
Carly stared at me, incredulous.
"What?" I asked.
"That, that, this..." she stammered.
"Now you just sound like Dad," I said yfully.
She finally managed to form a sentence. "Howe your dad is so okay with this?"
I gave a shrug. "It is just a small prank. The teacher is thin, so we''re not even body shaming her. She probably even found it a little funny," I said with a smirk. Then I added, "If you knew my uncle, you''d understand¡ªthis is the least of my dad''s worries."
"Come on, let''s go to ss, Carly."
She sighed but started walking beside me.
She shook her head, still trying to process everything, and mumbled, "Your family is strange."
"Yup," I replied cheerfully.
As Carly took the lead walking down the hallway, I watched her for a moment.
It''s been a month since I started studying here. That first day was a real surprise¡ªseeing Carly, Sam, and Freddie all in the same ss. From what little I watched iCarly (just the first episodes), what happened today would line up with the Pilot episode. But now they''re already 14 or 15 years old and in 9th grade. And the show didn''t even take ce in California.
The timeline is all messed up.
But well, I don''t really have much toin about. They''re a little childish, but they''re nice to hang out with. Freddie and Sam''s interactions are funny, and Carly is a good girl.
------
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Chapter 60: Grades
Chapter 60 - Grades
As Carly and I turned the corner in the hallway, we spotted a thin, blonde girl pushing around a smaller boy near the lockers.
Carly rolled her eyes, marched straight up to the girl, and yanked her by the hair.
"Hi!" Carly greeted with a sharp smile.
The girl turned around¡ªof course it was Sam.
"Did you get in trouble?" Sam asked, casually chewing gum like nothing had happened.
"Of course I got in trouble! Teachers tend to get upset when you put their heads on the bodies of big, fat animals! I¡ªI can''t believe you talked me into taking the me for you!"
"You had to! I''ve already been suspended once this semester! If I''d gotten busted, they would''ve expelled me!"
"Which is truly amazing," I said dryly, "considering school started only a month ago."
"Well, here''s an idea," Carly snapped, still annoyed.
"What?" Sam asked.
"STOP DOING BAD THINGS!"
"Hey, chix!" Sam replied,pletely unfazed.
"Or," I added with a smirk, "you could just stop getting caught."
Carly turned to me and gave me a re that could melt steel.
---
In the ssroom, the four of us were seated. Sam sat beside me and behind Freddie. I was behind Carly, who kept ncing forward, probably still annoyed at both of us.
I nced over at Freddie, sitting next to Carly, and couldn''t help but remember the ridiculous little dance he did when the seating arrangement was announced. Arms iling, goofy grin¡ªit was like he had just won the lottery.
The teacher walked in and pped her hands to get everyone''s attention.
"Students, I''m now going to hand back your tests with your grades," she said firmly. "I hope you all start putting in more effort¡ªunless you want trouble this semester."
Somehow, I think she was talking to Sam, even though she only gave her only a brief nce.
And yes, as strange as it sounds, we''ve already had some tests¡ªeven though it''s only been a month since the semester started
There were a few murmurs around the ssroom, and some students exchanged nces filled with dread. A couple even slumped lower in their seats, already mourning their grades before the papers even reached their desks.
Freddie was the first to be called. He walked back with a smug grin on his face.
"A, A, B+, A+," he announced proudly as he sat down.
Carly went next. When she returned, she casually stated, "A, A, A, B+."
Sam looked over at me with a determined expression. "Let''s beat these smug geniuses," she muttered, shooting a quick re at Carly and Freddie.
Before she could say anything else, her name was called.
When she came back, all eyes were on her.
"D- in all," she mumbled.
She looked like a defeated warrior returning from battle.
Then it was my turn.
I stood up, walked to the front, took my test papers, and headed back to my seat wearing apletely neutral expression.
Carly, Freddie, and even Sam turned to look at me, curiosity and anticipation all over their faces.
"What?" I said, feigning ignorance.
"Oh,e on," Carly said. "We all said ours."
Without waiting for my permission, she reached over and grabbed my test papers.
The moment she saw my grades, she wentpletely silent, her expression frozen in disbelief.
Freddie stood up and leaned over to take a look for himself. His eyes widened as he read the scores.
"You had all A+??" he shouted, loud enough for half the ss to hear.
"WHAT??" Sam shouted even louder, her voice echoing through the ssroom.
She turned to look at me with a mix of shock and betrayal on her face, like I hadmitted some unspeakable act by being good at school.
"What, did you think I was dumb?" I asked with a mocking re.
"You''re popr, you''re funny¡ªhow can you be a genius too?" Sam snapped, throwing her hands up in disbelief.
I gave her a light pat on the shoulder, shed the smuggest smile I could manage, and said, "I''m just built different."
"I really want to hit your face right now," Sam muttered.
"Even I want to do that," Carly added, crossing her arms.
"Sam, take your seat," the teacher called sternly. Then she turned to me with a small smile. "And congrattions, Jake. Perfect scores across the board. Well done."
There were more murmurs across the room.
I leaned back in my chair, letting the praise settle for a moment.
Well, I thought, it''s going to be even more hrious when they find out my real age.
So far, only the teacher knew. And judging by how no one even questioned it, I guess I blended in well enough. Then, I looked at Freddie.
You''re not even ate bloomer, I thought, giving him a look of quiet pity.
Freddie misinterpreted my look entirely. He straightened up, puffed out his chest like a determined anime protagonist, and dered, "Well, I''m going to do better than you next time!"
---
After ss, as we walked out, Sam was still eyeing me like I''d betrayed her
"We were supposed to be bros," she whined. "It was us against those two nerds!" She pointed dramatically at Carly and Freddie. "But you¡ªyou''re just a big nerd too!"
"Not wanting to make your mood worse, Sam," Carly said, "but you and I get to spend our entire Saturday here, videotaping kids'' auditions for the talent show."
Sam groaned loudly, dragging her feet like she was already being punished.
"And why are you smiking, Jake?" Carly asked, narrowing her eyes. "You''reing too. Remember¡ªyou''re under the same punishment."
"Whatev! I''ll just bring Amy with me," I said, like it was no big deal.
"You really want me to punch your face today, don''t you?" Sam snapped, ring at me.
------
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Chapter 61: Talent Show
Chapter 61 - Talent Show
Amy and I stepped into the school''s theater room, the doors creaking slightly as we pushed them open. The space was dimly lit.
They were about to head toward the front row when they noticed Carly pacing off to the side, holding her phone to her ear.
"I told you the front door would be locked! You gotta go round to the blue door at the back of the¡ªOH MY GOD!" Carly suddenly shouted, eyes wide in surprise.
"What do you think of my equipment?" Freddie said proudly, standing nearby with a setup that looked more suited for a film set than a school event.
Carly blinked. "I just asked to borrow your video camera. What is all this?"
"Well, that''s a free-ship high-DF camcorder with a hyper cardio and condenser microphone, mounted on a carbon-fiber tripod with a low-drive fluid-head," Freddie said, beaming. "I also brought you juice and a bagel!"
"Hey man, you really went all in," I said, giving the camera a curious once-over. "Where the hell did you get all this? That''s some expensive gear."
"It is," Freddie said quickly, holding his hands up in a gesture of caution. "Please be extra careful."
Meanwhile, Amy greeted Carly and Freddie with a warm smile. "Hey guys," she said casually, giving them both a small wave after watching the camera talk unfold.
She moved over to check out the equipment as well, earning the same careful instructions from Freddie, who acted like he was guarding national treasure.
While Amy was busy, I walked up to Carly.
"You really turned this into a date, huh?" she said, half in disbelief, half yfully.
"Nothingpared to showing up with your number one admirer," I replied, ncing at Freddie. "Who brought a whole Hollywood set... and a bagel."
Carly chuckled, shaking her head.
Just then, Sam walked in holding a cup of coffee.
She spotted Freddie first.
"Hey! You invited the doof!" she said, pointing dramatically.
Then her eyesnded on Amy beside me.
"And you really brought a girl?!" she added, now ring at me.
"OH, man! I didn''t know THAT was gonna be here!" Freddie blurted out.
"SHE! I''m a she, Freddie. As in GIRL!" Sam snapped.
"Man, she''s the reason we''re here," I said to Freddie, gesturing toward Sam. "And Sam, obviously Freddie would be here¡ªsomeone needs to record, and that someone is definitely not me."
Freddie and Sam just stared at me for a moment, both of thempletely silent.
Then, after a beat, Freddie turned right back to Sam and repeated, "Just keep your hands off my AV equipment!"
"You mean I can''t y with the white-bnce on your superdy, duperdy camcorder?" Sam asked with a mocking grin.
"Oh sure! Everybody jokes about the white-bnce until their skin tones go magenta!" Freddie shot back, clearly offended.
"Carly will never love you!" Sam dered.
"That''s it! I''m taking my stuff and I''m going home!" Freddie huffed.
"Please stay!" Carly said gently.
"Ok," Freddie replied without hesitation.
I facepalmed, letting out a long sigh. It''s like watching a younger version of my dad, I thought. At least Carly is a gentle girl...
Amy came closer and whispered to me, "This is a little painful to watch."
"Yeah... you tell me..." I replied with a sigh, then added with a smirk, "Come on, let''s take those seats in the back."
She gave me the same smirk back
¡ª
Carly pped her hands. "Alright! Let''s get this started. Jeb, are you ready to audition?"
A nervous-looking boy stepped up onto the stage. "Yeah, I will be performing a scene from the French y called La Au Em Fem."
Sam squinted. "Okay..."
Carly blinked. "We don''t know what that means, but knock us out! Rolling?"
"Rolling!" Freddie confirmed from behind the camera.
Jeb took a dramatic breath andunched into his monologue. "But, but, where did she go? I don''t know! But when will she be back? I don''t know! But where can I find her? I tell you, I do not know!"
"Vez!" he finished with a flourish.
"Nice job!" Sam said.
"Whoa, wow!" Carly added.
¡ª
Eventually, the auditions wrapped up, and Carly stood to stretch while Sam slumped dramatically in her seat.
I walked over to the front where they were sitting. "Great auditions!" I said with a grin.
Carly and Sam both looked at me like they wanted to throw something.
"You didn''t watch any, did you?" Carly asked, narrowing her eyes.
"They were horrible," Sam added, flopping sideways in her chair like she was physically wounded by the performances.
"No, I watched the one with the trumpet and the pogo stick," I said.
¡ª
After that Saturday, a few days passed. Unfortunately, since the inte wasn''t well developed yet, the idea of iCarly never took off (for now).
But at least, Carly and Sam ended up winning the talent show. Thanks to Freddie''s recording of their hriousmentary during the auditions, the school voted them the most entertaining act¡ªeven though they never technically performed on stage. The moment the school projected their reactions on the big screen during the final assembly, the auditorium erupted withughter. Sam''s deadpan sarcasm and Carly''s earnest attempts to keep it professional made for an unexpectededy duo.
Even Freddie, though initially sulky about not getting proper camera credit, basked in the praise for his recording skills.
From then on, people started greeting the trio with grins in the hallways.
¡ª
A few more weeks passed. Sam and Freddie continued their usual bickering, with Carly constantly ying the role of peacemaker... and me? I was usually the one egging them on
Thanksgiving was just around the corner
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Chapter 62: Thanksgiving
Chapter 62 - Thanksgiving
"Hey, what are you doing?" Dad asked as we stepped into Charlie''s room.
"Picking out a shirt," Charlie replied, looking up in front of the mirror.
"That one looks nice," Dad offered, nodding toward a white button-down.
Uncle Charlie nced at him. "You like it?"
"Yeah."
"Then, no."
I flopped onto Charlie''s bed, arms behind my head, listening to them go back and forth.
"Okay... listen," Dad continued, "I was wondering... do you have any ns for Thanksgiving?"
"n, I don''t n that far ahead."
"It''s this Thursday," Dad said with a deadpan tone.
Charlie blinked. "No kidding. Didn''t we just get through that whole pumpkin, the costume thing with the kid?"
"Halloween?"
"Yeah," said Uncle Charlie.
"Three weeks ago," I said, incredulous.
Then I suddenly shot up from the bed with a small yelp.
"What?" both Dad and Charlie asked at the same time.
"I just remembered this is Uncle Charlie''s bed," I said, brushing off my clothes like I''d just stepped in something gross.
Charlie red at me, then turned back to the mirror. "Berta changed the sheets yesterday."
"That one looks good," I said, nodding toward the blue button-down shirt.
Uncle Charlie nced at me. "You like it?"
"Yeah," I said.
"Then, okay," Charlie replied.
Dad looked at us both, incredulous and offended.
"So, who''s the one?" I asked, ignoring Dad''s stare.
"Her name is Lisa," Charlie said.
"Lisa-who-used-to-live-here, Lisa?" Dad asked, raising an eyebrow.
"She lived here, she moved out, she lived here, I moved out. At one point, neither one of us lived here. Yeah, that Lisa," Charlie said.
"Wow," Dad replied.
"So, she''s gonna take you back again?" Dad added.
"Hey, who said she''s the one who broke up with..." Charlie started, then paused. "Yeah, I''m hoping."
"Good luck," Dad and I said in unison.
"Thanks," Charlie nodded.
As Uncle Charlie was heading out of the room, Dad looked over at me and said, "And I didn''t even get to tell him the ns for Thanksgiving."
I just shrugged.
¡ª
That afternoon, while Dad and I were watching TV in the living room, Uncle Charlie burst through the door carrying a massive frozen turkey.
"Change of ns!" he announced proudly.
"We''re gonna have a big family dinner right here," Charlie dered.
"And whose big family were you nning on inviting?" Dad asked, raising an eyebrow.
"You know, you, me, Jake, Mom, turkey¡ªjust like the good old days," Charlie said while giving the turkey a light p.
"What good old days?" Dad replied.
"It''s just an expression, don''t get hung up on it," Charlie waved him off.
"I can help you, Uncle Charlie," I offered. "But you''re the one who has to convince Mom and my grandparents toe here."
Charlie nodded and added "Oh, and Lisa mighte."
"Okay, what''s going on?" Dad asked, turning off the TV.
"I need to show Lisa that I''m a family guy," Charlie said.
"But you''re not," Dad said as a matter of fact
"That''s not the point," Charlie replied.
"She''s about to go off and marry some jerk... just because he loves her and wants to settle down."
"I get it, you''re Satan," Dad said tly.
"n, this is serious. I could lose her forever."
"Wow, and you care?"
"I love her, n. She''s the only one I ever thought I might eventually wind up with."
"Eventually wind up with," Dad repeated, unimpressed. "I''m touched."
"Yeah, Uncle Charlie, I gotta agree with Dad," I added, pulling a face. "You''re gonna need more than ''eventually wind up with'' to win her back."
"Look, I really care for Lisa, and she needs to believe I''m capable of changing," Charlie said.
"But the thing is, you''re not," Dad replied.
"You don''t know that. I might be," Charlie countered. "Who knows what would happen if I actually tried."
"You''re really serious about this, huh" said Dad a little impressed
"We''ll help," I said, "but I don''t think our family is the most appropriate if the goal is to impress her..."
¡ª
Later that afternoon, I was in the kitchen having a snack when Uncle Charlie was exining his idea to Berta
"So, here''s the n," he said to Berta, who was already raising an eyebrow. "You''re cooking Thanksgiving lunch."
"No way in hell. Are you insane? What''s wrong with you?" Berta shot back immediately.
"Come on," Charlie pleaded.
"I don''t work holidays, Charlie."
"Please."
"I''ve got a life, you know."
"Pretty, please."
"My brother is in the Witness Protection Program, and I''ve been invited to spend Thanksgiving with him at an undisclosed location."
"I''ll give you $1,000."
"Done."
Charlie looked over at me with a satisfied grin on his face.
I raised my ss and said, "All hail the money."
¡ª
The next day, Thanksgiving had finally arrived. The doorbell rang, and I got up to answer it.
I opened the door and saw a beautiful blonde woman standing there with a warm smile on her face.
"Hi, you must be Jake," she said cheerfully.
"Yes, yes I am. Jake, Jake Harper," I replied, offering my hand.
"Lisa, Lisa Geller," she said as she took it.
I bent slightly, intending to kiss her hand to be gentlemanly, but I froze mid-motion. "Geller?" I asked, blinking.
"Yeah, any problem?" Lisa asked with a puzzled expression.
"No, I just thought of something," I said quickly, letting go of her hand.
As Lisa walked past me toward Uncle Charlie, I quietly pulled out my phone and dialed Monica.
"Hello?" Monica answered.
"Hey Monica, Jake here. Quick question. Do you have a rtive named Lisa Geller?"
"Yeah," Monica replied, sounding a bit confused. "Lisa ''Cassie'' Geller, my cousin."
"Like your age, as beautiful as you, but blonde?" I asked.
"Yes... Oh, you little charmer," Monica said, clearly ttered by theparison.
"You''re not gonna believe it," I said, ncing back toward Lisa and Charlie.
------
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Chapter 63: Thanksgiving II
Chapter 63 - Thanksgiving II
"Wait," Monica said on the phone, and I could hear her calling out in the background.
"We''re in position," Chandler''s voice chimed in.
"Hi Jake," added Rachel warmly.
I stepped into the hallway to avoid being overheard.
"Here''s the thing," I said. "Uncle Charlie''s ex-lover is here. She''s engaged. And he wants to prove he''s better. That he''s a family man."
"But he''s not," Rachel replied with the same level of confidence my dad did.
"Wait a minute, Lisa is engaged?" I heard Monica voice cut in.
"Ross, did you know that Lisa is engaged?" Monica asked, clearly outraged.
"Yeah, it''ll be in a month. I got the invitation," Ross replied casually.
"What? I didn''t get invited?!" Monica screamed even more outraged.
"Did you hear that, Jake?" Chandler said, amused.
"Oh yeah, it''s getting messier," I said with a smirk.
"Jake," I could hear Monica''s voice getting closer through the phone. "Go there and make sure your Uncle Charlie wins." Then I heard her murmur: "And get me an invitation."
"Monica, I''m not there, but I''m pretty sure everyone is ring at you," I said.
"Jake, I don''t think you should interfere in an engagement," Rachel said.
"Yeah, Rach, I love you, but I don''t think you have much moral to talk about this," I added with a condescending tone.
"Why you looking at me, Rach? He kinda has a point..." Monica chimed in.
"Ok, it is starting," I said, settling in.
Then I heard Charlie introducing my grandparents.
"Uuuu," I let out.
"What?" came multiple voices over the phone.
"Uncle Charlie just introduced my grandparents with the wrong names... and the fact that they live here in California."
"Oh, now my grandparents just bluntly said they still consider my dad as their son. Mom was not happy with that."
I walked to the kitchen and
"Uuuuu," I let out again
"What now?" came multiple voices over the phone again.
"Our housekeeper just bluntly said to Lisa, ''Don''t tell me you''re back here again. Don''t you ever learn?'' And Lisa, showing her ring, said, ''As a matter of fact, I think I have.'' Then Berta added, ''Good for you. You can do so much better.'' "
It was possible to hear a wave of murmurs ripple through the phone.
"Oh, now this one is gold," I whispered into the phone. "Uncle Charlie and Lisa went to greet Gramma, and he said, ''You remember Lisa, right?'' Then she replied, ''No, I don''t. I''m sorry. Hello, dear. My son has had so many little roommates.'' And she finished with, ''I just hope you''ve got better taste than the one who picked out his hideous furniture.'' "
"...And it was Lisa who picked everything here...that''s double kill from Gramma" I added.
There were someughs, followed by Ross saying, "Wow, that hurts."
"Mon (Monica), I can see your schadenfreude smile from here," I said.
"You are right!" Chandlermented, after I could hear him said ''ouch!''
"Oh God..." I murmured.
"Come on Jake, we need details," Rachel said eagerly.
"Uncle Charlie has a kind of stalker. She''s a little entric. She just came climbing onto the deck, introduced herself to Lisa, and said, ''Don''t worry. Charlie and I had sex once, but now we''re just friends.'' "
I could hear people winced in the phone
I returned to the living room.
"Okay, now it bes even messier," I muttered.
"My grandma on my dad''s side just said, ''The lesbians of my generation were too scared toe out of the closet.'' "
"The thing is, Mom didn''t tell her parents about her change of taste," I said, doing a Michael Scott''s grimace face
"Wow, you are really living a siedy, right?". "I knew you were too good to be real," Chandlermented.
"I would say the same for you, Chandler. But I''m not hearing muchughter from your part," I said yfully.
"You just killed Chandler, you know," I could hear a new voice¡ªPhoebe. "He threw himself to the ground clutching his chest, pretending to be dead," Phoebe said while chuckling.
"Oh, it is lunch time," I said.
"Just put it on speaker," Monica replied.
¡ª
Everyone was already seated at the table. I ced the phone beside my te so the others could hear the chaos unfolding live from my end.
"Here it is," Berta said as she ced arge roasted turkey on the table.
"Berta, nice looking bird. Thanks for blowing off your family and cooking for ours," she added sarcastically when no onemented.
"Thank you, Berta. It looks delicious," I said, trying to smooth it over, also noticing the look Lisa gave Charlie. "So, can we say what we''re thankful for?" I asked, looking around the table.
"Me, I got one," Rose said raising her hand
she started, "I''m thankful for the food we eat, and thankful for the friends we meet."
then it bes weird
"I''m thankful for myfy seat. I''m thankful for the birdie''s feet."
And she started to singpletely off-key¡ª
"White with foam, God bless America..."
"Pull up, Rose," Charlie said with an unamused tone.
"Sorry," Rose mumbled.
I just facepalmed and shook my head.
I then leaned slightly toward my phone and murmured, "When I have a girlfriend, I will never bring her here to meet my family," I said through gritted teeth.
Dad cleared his throat and said, "Okay, I''m next. I''m thankful that I can spend the holiday with all the people I love, and all the people who love me," he paused before adding, "and Judith."
I gave a deadpan look. "Oh yeah, it was just a matter of time before my dad created an awkward moment."
To be fair, the moment was already pretty awkward anyway
------
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Chapter 64: Thanksgiving III
Chapter 64 - Thanksgiving III
And then, the thankfulness took a turn.
I groaned and whispered, "Here we go again..." while watching my Gramma seated next to me.
"I''m thankful I''ll be dead someday, and you''ll all feel horrible you weren''t nicer to me," Evelyn dered dramatically.
"And I''m thankful that our daughter gave us at least one grandchild before she..." Lenore said, looking at me, before bursting into tears. Grandpa Sheldon consoled her.
Judith, not missing a beat, chimed in, "I''m thankful I finally found a therapist who has nopunction about prescribing powerful sedatives."
Uncle Charlie was looking at me like he was silently saying, ''Fix it.''
I looked back, mouthing, ''How?''
''You''re smart,'' his eyes seemed to insist.
''Yeah, but in this case, you need to be a god,'' I thought, giving him a look.
Finally, I shrugged and muttered under my breath, ''I told you our family was not a good one to impress. Or, at least, not a good impression.''
I leaned toward the phone on speaker and heard Chandler say, "Jake, my parents would be a great addition to your Thanksgiving table."
I chuckled, remembering that episode¡ªhis mom saying his dad would rather sleep with the house-boy than with her.
Berta chimed in next, deadpan as always. "I''m thankful I can sit here and listen to you rich people whine while my family''s scrabbling for a corn dog at the Pomona Fairgrounds."
"Charlie? Jake?" Lisa said softly.
"No, you first," Charlie replied.
I just nodded, giving her space to go ahead.
"I''m thankful for you, Charlie," Lisa began, her voice warm. "And I hope you''ll always be my friend."
"Okay, well, I''m thankful for you, too," Charlie replied.
He looked around the table. "And I''m thankful for everybodying together today as unwitting participants in my desperate charade."
I cleared my throat and finally spoke. "I''m thankful that, despite all the past grievances and mistakes, we can sit here together as a family. We throw jabs and all, but family is still family..." I said, trying to guilt-trip
But then, everyone heard Joey''s voice on the phone speaker: "Well said, little man!"
Mom turned toward me, narrowing her eyes. "Are you recording us?"
"No!" I said quickly.
Gramma Evelyn squinted. "Are there other people on the other side of the line?"
"No?" I tried, but seeing it wasn''t working, I added, "Oh,e on, at least I''m the child here!"
"Amen," said Rose.
we all look to her
I murmured, "I''m thankful for Rose, who can say anything despite all the awkward situations."
¡ª
After the meal, I stood up and nced around. "I actually wrote a song for today. Lisa, could you stay at least long enough to hear it?"
Lisa nodded, smiling softly. Everyone stood and followed me into the living room while I took my ce at the piano.
I started to sing
(Say Something - A Great Big World)
?Say something I''m giving up on you
I''ll be the one if you want me to
Anywhere I would''ve followed you
Say something I''m giving up on you?
?And I
Am feeling so small
It was over my head
I know nothing at all?
?And I
Will stumble and fall
I''m still learning to love
Just starting to crawl?
?Say something I''m giving up on you
I''m sorry that I couldn''t get to you
Anywhere I would''ve followed you
Say something I''m giving up on you?
?And I
Will swallow my pride
You''re the one that I love
And I''m saying goodbye?
As thest note faded, Uncle Charlie turned to Lisa and said, "Lisa, marry me."
"Marry you? You want me to marry you?" she asked, astonished.
"Yes," Charlie replied. "You know, eventually."
And for the second time that day, I made a Michael Scott face. ''Eventually??!'' I screamed in my mind
¡ª
Charlie turned to Lisa again. "You sure you don''t want some turkey for the road?"
"No, I''m fine," Lisa said.
"So, are you gonna invite me to your wedding?" Charlie asked.
"Charlie," Lisa replied, sounding both amused and exasperated.
From the phone speaker, Monica''s voice cut in, "Yeah, right. Not even I was invited."
"Mon, get over it," Ross chimed in.
"Easy for you to say¡ªyou got invited! And she didn''t even go to your wedding in London!" Monica snapped.
Charlie continued saying goodbye to Lisa at the door. "Will you at least call me when you get divorced?"
"You''ll be first on my list," Lisa replied with a smirk.
"That''s the end, guys," I said while walking out to the deck. I turned off speaker mode on the phone and set it back to normal.
"Wow, I might not hate Thanksgiving that much now," said Chandler.
"You''re wee for my family dysfunction," I added a little sarcastically.
"Well, at least Ross now has another funny story to tell at Lisa''s wedding," I added. "Monica, on the other hand..."
Monica groaned through the phone. "And we lost our chance to make Jake part of our family."
"Aww," I said sweetly, then shifted to mock drama. "Wait¡ªI thought you already considered me your nephew, Aunt Monica. You hurt me."
The rest of the groupughed.
"Howe you never call me that? And Monica already has Ben" Rachel asked, a little annoyed.
"Well, I thought you wouldn''t like it. Because of my age," I said, then added yfully, "Even though you''re almost...thr¡ª"
"Nah, nah, nah. That''s gonna take years," Rachel cut in quickly.
"What years? That will be in six months," Ross added, matter-of-factly.
I could see Rachel shoot Ross a nasty look. I leaned forward, deadpan: "Ross... you having two marriages really is a surprise."
Everyone burst outughing¡ªexcept Ross.
------
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Chapter 65: Investments
Chapter 65 - Investments
Charlie had sulked for a few days after what happened with Lisa. It was the kind of quiet, moody withdrawal that didn''t need to be exined. He didn''t talk much at lunch, didn''t make his usual dumb jokes, and avoided eye contact more than usual.
But after a few nights of drinking and a rotating cast of womening and going, Charlie was back to normal.
¡ª
Now, with only one week left until Christmas, I found myself buried in spreadsheets and reports. I was wrapping up the annual review for the Harper Fund Management. The numbers this year were unbelievable.
The total return was nearly five times the original investment.
22.7 million for me.
14 million for Charlie.
11.5 million for Grandma.
And 2.6 million each for Mom and Dad.
53.4 million dors total.
I had already sold everything. All the positions were closed. The money was sitting there, clean and ready.
Now it was time to think about next year.
Acim Entertainment (AKLM), the maker of video games for Nintendo and Sega, and Hollywood Entertainment (HLYW), a video rental chain. Both delivered returns over ten times the original investment.
Other positions like Nvidia and Booking didn''t bring in explosive results like those two, but they were solid and safe bets.
I opened a new page in my notebook. At the top, I wrote:
How to make more money next year.
The first item on the list: Books.
At first, the thought of writing came to mind. I remembered stories like Percy Jackson and Hunger Games.
But the truth was, I had no idea how to write them.
Maybe it was better to find the authors instead. Help them. Fund them. A publisher.
Yeah. That was something I could do. Let someone else write them¡ªbut let me be the one who profits.
I marked an X next to "Books."
The next item: Movies.
First up¡ªParanormal Activity. One of the most profitable films ever made, and maybe the easiest to replicate.
Freddie could handle the filming. He already had more equipment than some indie studios.
Sam and Carly could y. I''d just have to make sure the tone stayed focused on horror¡ªnot parody.
We''d still need a few more people¡ªsome adults, a couple of kids to round out the cast.
I marked a star next to "Paranormal Activity." This one had real potential.
Then came the second idea: Saw.
This would be a lot harder. Especially because of the content. The violence. The twisted psychology.
I couldn''t be upfront like I could with Paranormal Activity. But I could fund it. Be a shadow investor.
Let someone else carry the creative weight while I backed it financially.
If it worked¡ªif it hit like it did originally¡ªit could mean a massive return (especially because of sequel power).
I underlined "Saw" twice. Then wrote beside it: Find the right people.
The third one: My Big Fat Greek Wedding.
I didn''t even know if it had already been written yet. But if it had, I had to buy it. Joey could y the protagonist (if he was good enough)
And probably the best one: the conjuring universe
Then I made a new section beneath the movie ns. There were more options to explore: Waiting... (2005), God''s Not Dead (2014), High School Musical (2006), Insidious (2011), Intouchables (2012), The King''s Speech (2010), The Purge (2013), Slumdog Millionaire (2008), and ck Swan (2010).
The third section: Games.
For now, I couldn''t remember any game from 2001 that would be both easy and highly profitable to recreate or back.
Let''s put this section on hold¡ªfor now.
The fourth section: Opportunities.
Three names came to mind immediately: Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube.
The question was simple: should I be a seed investor, or try to do it myself?
The second option would require highly qualified people. Developers. Engineers. Designers. A real team.
For now, I still had time to think about it. These weren''t decisions to rush.
Let''s put this section on hold too. When I have more capital¡ªand more reach¡ªit''ll be easier to act on them.
At least I bought the domain names tied to them like: Thefacebook, facebook, fb, fbook...
¡ª
And then, the most defining moment of 2001: September 11.
I don''t think it''s worth trying to make money off it. I remember some of the theories, like the unusually high volume of shorts in airline stocks just before the attacks. There was even an FBI investigation into it¡ªthough it didn''t go anywhere.
It''s not something I want to touch. Not for money.
I don''t think it would be possible to stop it either, not without sounding insane or putting myself at serious risk. At least I will make sure that the people I love are not there.
¡ª
The next morning, I was sitting at the kitchen table with my notebook still open when Charlie walked in.
"Good morning," he said, rubbing his eyes and yawning as he made a beeline to the coffee pot.
I looked up and closed the notebook.
"Hey, Uncle Charlie, I need a favor," I said.
Charlie raised an eyebrow. "That''s usually my line."
I grinned. "Yeah."
"Well, I want to throw an end-of-year party for my grade. So I need the house... and help with the setup."
"Do I have any choice?" Charlie asked, clearly unsure how to respond.
"No. You owe me too many favors," I said with a smirk. "And I need you to be the cool uncle. Because Dad..."
"I got it," Charlie interrupted.
He smiled and took a sip of his coffee. "At least I''ll get to meet the new girls hanging around you," he added yfully.
------
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Chapter 66: Party Reveal
Chapter 66 - Party Reveal
The bell rang, ending the first ss of the day. Students started filing out, chattering about assignments and weekend ns. I turned in my seat, catching Carly, Sam, and Freddie''s attention.
"Hey," I said, slinging my backpack over one shoulder. "I''ve got something to tell you."
Carly just looked at me curiously, tilting her head slightly, waiting.
"Way better than anything from this morning," I continued with a grin.
Sam raised an eyebrow. "Does it involve food, chaos, or both?"
"Both. And way more than that," I said, letting the suspense hang in the air for a second. "My uncle Charlie is letting me throw an end-of-year party. His house. Big space. Real food. Music."
Freddie''s eyes widened. "Wait¡ªyou''re throwing a party at your uncle''s beach house?"
I nodded. "That''s the one."
Sam leaned in. "Is there gonna be a chocte fountain?"
I looked at her, deadpan. "Really, Sam? I''m throwing an incredible party and your standard is a chocte fountain?"
Sam shrugged. "Hey, priorities."
They all looked at each other, then back at me.
"Completely serious," I added. "So... you in?"
Three grins answered me before I even got a reply.
"So," I continued, "want toe to my house tomorrow? Help brainstorm how to make the party next level."
"To be fair," I added with a smirk, "I mostly want Carly''s opinion. I''m thinking of inviting Regina from ss B too."
"Hey!" both Freddie and Sam said at the same time, offended.
I couldn''t help butugh at their identical reactions.
"I don''t want a Willy Wonka party," I said, shooting a look at Sam. "And Freddie, you''re better with record stuff. I was going to ask you to film the party¡ªbut nothing too professional. Just bring a regr camcorder."
Freddie looked mildly insulted but nodded. "Fine, but I''m still adjusting the audio levels. I have standards."
"Deal," I said.
The four of us were walking down the hallway when we spotted Regina approaching from the other end. I gave a casual, "Hey."
She smiled back, wearing the same yful grin. "Hey."
Carly just rolled her eyes.
I turned to Regina. "I need your help, Regina. I''m throwing a party this weekend¡ªan end-of-year celebration¡ªand I want your input on the nning."
Regina tilted her head. "Who are you inviting?"
"Everyone from my ss, and a few from the other sses," I said.
"I''ll help," she replied, "but only if you let me handle the rest of the guest list."
I leaned closer and whispered, "You can''t ban the pretty ones."
"Deal," she said with a wink.
---
The next day, the five of us split into two taxis and headed to Uncle Charlie''s house. With that many people, squeezing into one cab just wasn''t an option.
When we arrived, the beach house looked like a postcard¡ªbright sunshine, ocean breeze, and the faint call of seagulls in the distance.
We stepped inside to find Charlie lounging on the sofa, smoothie in hand.
"Hey, kid," he saidzily. Then he noticed the group behind me. "Whoa. What is this, a band audition?"
"Uncle Charlie," I said, gesturing behind me, "this is Carly, Sam, Freddie, and Regina. Guys, meet my Uncle Charlie."
Charlie gave them his signature crooked grin. "Wee to Harper''s House."
Sam looked around, clearly impressed. "You actually live here? This ce is insane."
Regina gave an approving nod, her eyes scanning theyout. "Yeah... this ce is going to make one awesome party," she murmured.
I motioned toward the kitchen. "Come on, everyone¡ªthat way."
Charlie leaned in close to me and whispered yfully, "Hey, big dog. Which one are you nning to use the deck with?"
I rolled my eyes. "No one... for now," I replied with a grin.
I gave them the full tour¡ªshowing off the sleek kitchen, the wide deck (we reformed, and made it wider than the original), and the private path that led directly to the beach.
When we finished, we headed to my room. I had picked the second-best one in the house. Still big, with its own bathroom¡ªthough, to be fair, every room here had that. What really sold me was the little extra room on the side, almost like a private lounge. And most importantly, it wasn''t right under Charlie''s bedroom. That alone was a win.
As the others stepped inside, Regina casually dropped herself onto the bed without any hesitation. "Nice bedroom," she said, ncing around. "Pretty clean and organized."
Sam, with no sense of personal space whatsoever, immediately began snooping around the room. She checked out the shelves, opened a few drawers, then stopped when she spotted a guitar, an acoustic, and a DJ table all lined up in the corner.
"I didn''t know you yed instruments," she said, half impressed, half nosy.
Carly chimed in, arms crossed with a knowing smile. "Sam, Jake told us he takes guitar, electric guitar, and electronics lessons every week."
I shrugged. "Oh yeah, we''ve known each other for four months now, but you''ve never actually seen me sing."
Regina''s eyes lit up with curiosity. "You could sing for us now."
I smiled but shook my head. "I will sing at the party."
"No way,e on, we''re already here," Carly chimed in.
"Yeah, and we can judge if you''re any good, so you don''t embarrass yourself at the party," Sam added with a grin.
I rolled my eyes at Sam''sment.
"Okay," I said, pping my hands once. "Let''s go to the deck. Thankfully, it''s not cold outside, even though it''s December."
Everyone perked up and followed me out of the room. Before I left, I grabbed my guitar. As I walked through the living room, Charlie nced up from his smoothie and gave me a knowing smile.
I just shook my head and kept walking, the sound of the sliding doors opening letting in the salty breeze and the soft rush of waves outside.
------
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Chapter 67: Sunset Notes
Chapter 67 - Sunset Notes
Regina, Carly, and Sam each took a regr beach chair, lined up loosely in a row. Freddie was already standing, holding his handheld camcorder, carefully adjusting his position to capture everything.
I grabbed my guitar and sat on the edge of the deck bench, facing them, my back to the ocean.
I gave the strings a light strum, just to feel the tone, then looked at them with a half-smile. "What kind of music do you want me to sing?"
"A romantic one," said Regina, without missing a beat.
I raised an eyebrow, then gave a quick nod. "Alright. Let''s see what I can do."
I adjusted the guitar in myp, took a slow breath, and started with a soft, mellow chord progression. Then I began to sing.
Girls like you (Maroon 5)
?Spent 24 hours, I need more hours with you
You spent the weekend getting even, ooh
We spent thete nights making things right between us
But now it''s all good, babe
Roll that back wood, babe
And y me close?
?''Cause girls like you run ''round with guys like me
''Til sun down when Ie through
I need a girl like you, yeah yeah
Girls like you love fun and, yeah, me too
What I want when Ie through
I need a girl like you, yeah yeah?
As soon as I started, I noticed Carly, Sam, and Regina begin to sway slightly in their seats. It wasn''t full-on dancing, but their arms moved gently to the rhythm, hands lifting in slow arcs, fingers catching the beat like it was instinct. They were already caught in the song.
?Yeah yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah
I need a girl like you, yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah
I need a girl like you?
?I spentst night on thest flight to you (ey ya)
Took a whole day up trying to get way up, ooh
We spent the daylight trying to make things right between us
But now it''s all good, babe
Roll that back wood, babe
And y me close, yeah?
When I yed the final chord, I let it ring out, fading slowly with the breeze.
The three girls pped immediately, still smiling from the rhythm. Carly, Sam, and Regina all looked at each other and then back at me with wide grins.
Freddie lowered the camcorder, also smiling (for different reason). "Got everything."
I gave a slight bow, still seated, and chuckled.
Regina leaned forward with a yful re. "Howe you never told me you were that good??" She crossed her arms and smirked. "This totally makes up for yourpleteck of sports skills."
I just rolled my eyes. Freddie, having been my friend for a while, knew exactly what that meant¡ªwe were both the kind of guys who usually got pickedst for any team.
I only know how to y ser. I''m not good at anything else, nor do I have the desire to improve at it
Freddie added, "You should''ve joined the auditions that day."
Sam didn''t miss a beat. "He was busy that day," she said sarcastically, shooting me a teasing look.
"You bet I was," I teased back, not even trying to hide my grin.
---
Meanwhile, in the living room, my dad and Uncle Charlie were casually watching the scene unfold from the window.
"Wow, Jake really is popr," said Dad, still a little impressed.
Uncle Charlie, watching with the subtle pride of a cool uncle, gave a knowing smirk. "And a good line-up too. Three to two. And the kid with the camera looks more like you, n. So it''s three to one."
Dad turned to him, giving a look of pure disapproval¡ªclearly offended.
Uncle Charlie just sipped his drink, satisfied.
---
"Come on, sing another one," Carly encouraged, receiving a chorus of agreement from the other two.
I raised a hand with a grin. "First, let''s decide about the party."
Sam quickly chimed in, "Chocte fountain."
I scoffed. "I will rent a chocte fountain. I''ll even rent a small one with ''Sam'' written on it just for you."
Sam jumped at me with a grin. "Best friend ever."
"I thought that was me," Carly said, smiling, though she didn''t really mind thement.
Sam nced at Carly, then back at me, correcting herself with a yful grin. "Best male friend ever."
I smirked. "Should I expect a simrment from Freddie?"
Carly, Freddie, and Sam all said "No" at the same time¡ªwith Freddie and Sam a bit more emphatic.
I justughed.
Carly added, "We need some games¡ªmaybe some quiz."
"First," I said, looking over at Regina, "how many people did you invite? From my ss, there are sixteen."
Regina smiled. "With me, it''ll be fifty."
"So sixty-six in total," I said, doing the math.
Less than half from everyone else, I murmured in my head, not letting it show on my face.
Regina raised a finger. "Now it''s my turn¡ªbefore we decide anything else. What''s the budget for the party?"
I raised an eyebrow. "Hm, I didn''t think about that." Money wasn''t really a problem for this kind of small party. "How about ten grand?"
"Ten thousand dors?" Carly, Freddie, and Sam screamed. Even Regina looked astonished.
Then Regina''s eyes lit up. "With that kind of money, we can throw an amazing party!"
---
Later that week, despite all the chaos, my party actually happened.
Everything went perfectly (incredible enough)
The setup was grand¡ªlights on the deck, music ying just right, tables full of snacks, a two choctes fountains, one with "Sam" written on it, and even a quiz game Carly had put together that people enjoyed.
But like in Vegas:What happened at Jake''s party, stayed at Jake''s party.
A/N:I wasn''t really inspired to write a full party scene (that is why theme end), so I left it open-ended ¡ª
I might even use itter.
------
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Chapter 68: The Call II
Chapter 68 - The Call II
I called Missy. She was way too young, but somehow she really knew how to gossip.
"So, you''re saying Sheldon became popr because he lends his room to other students?" I asked,ughing.
"And he''s totally clueless about what they do in there," Missy replied,ughing with me.
"I''m more concerned that you know what they''re doing," I said, raising an eyebrow.
"Hey, we''re (almost) the same age," she snapped defensively.
"You know if Sheldon ever finds out, he''s going to burn that room down, right?"
We bothughed.
Then the house phone rang.
"Missy, I gotta go. Someone''s calling the house," I said.
"Alright. Talkter," she replied.
I picked up the receiver. "Hello?"
A woman was crying on the other end.
"Calm down, I can''t understand you."
More sobs. Then something that sounded like "hamelet."
"What does Hamlet have to do with this?"
"No! I said, ''I''mte!''"
"Uuuh... ''I''mte''... for?"
But I already had a pretty good idea.
And then she exined.
I yelled, "Uncle Charlie!"
A momentter, Uncle Charlie and Dad came into the living room.
Charlie looked at me. "What?"
I held out the phone to him. "A call for you."
"Who is it?" Charlie asked.
"A hysterical woman," I answered.
Charlie backed away with his hands raised. "I don''t take calls from hysterical women."
"This one you might want to take. She''ste."
Charlie squinted. "She''ste for what?"
I gave him the look.
Charlie blinked. "Oh boy."
He cautiously took the phone and put it to his ear.
"Hello... Okay... are you sure? Don''t yell."
He paused, trying to keep up.
"How did this happen¡ªscratch that."
"Okay. Just stay calm, I''m here for you. We''ll deal with this together."
"You didn''t happen to catch her name, did you?" Charlie asked.
I shook my head.
"Okay, the instructions sound pretty clear."
A longer pause.
"You pee on the stick, and if it turns blue, it means you''re pregnant."
Charlie''s expression twisted. "The stick turns blue."
"Yes, sweetheart. First go into the bathroom."
He lowered the phone slightly and muttered, "Not exactly a rocket scientist."
Dad, standing nearby, crossed his arms and said sarcastically, "As opposed to the Nobel Prize winners you usually bring home."
"Now we wait 30 seconds," Charlie said.
"Please, God. Please, God, please," he muttered.
"Isn''t it a littlete for prayer, Charlie?" n asked.
"Hey, don''t mock my faith."
Charlie turned slightly, still on the phone. "Yeah, I''m here. Did it change colors?"
A pause.
"No? That''s good, right?"
He turned to us slowly, phone still in hand. "Sure, in a strange way... I''m a little disappointed, too."
Then his eyes lit up. "Hold on a sec... Yes!"
Charlie suddenly started dancing and striking dramatic poses. He even pulled me into a hug.
Still holding the phone, Charlie grinned and said, "So, what else is new?". "Hey, congrattions. When''s the wedding?"
Dad and I looked at him,pletely bewildered.
Charlie wrapped up the call, still smiling. "Isn''t that nice? Best of luck. Bye bye."
¡ª
The Next Morning
"Good morning," Charlie said, walking into the kitchen.
"Good morning, darling," Evelyn replied with a smile.
"Morning, Charlie," n added.
"Morning, Uncle Charlie," I said.
Evelyn turned, eyeing him yfully. "So, Charlie, what''s wrong with your pee-pee?"
Charlie froze. "What?"
"Grandma, we''re still eating here," I whined (why no one care about my breakfast?)
"A little birdie told me you were in a urologist''s office yesterday."
He shot n a re. "Thanks a lot, Tweety."
"I didn''t say anything!" n protested.
"Coincidentally," Evelyn continued, "your doctor has a suite in the same building as Dr. Shankman. You know, the man responsible for one out of three tight tushies in Beverly Hills."
Charlie squinted. "So Dr. Shankman saw me and told you?"
"No, dear, you left your appointment card on the table. I only mentioned Dr. Shankman because... well, no one has noticed my new tushie."
n blinked. "Very nice, Mom."
Evelyn beamed. "Of course. It''s a Shankman."
"So, Charles," she went on, "back to your pee-pee."
"Oh yeah, there goes my appetite," I muttered.
Charlie sighed. "There''s nothing wrong with it. I''m just getting a vasectomy."
Evelyn gasped. "You must really hate me."
Charlie blinked. "Are we changing the subject now?"
Evelyn stepped closer. "How can you have a vasectomy without consulting me? You''re selfishly robbing me of grandchildren."
"You''ve got grandchildren," n said tly.
"Oh, big whoop. One."
"Hey!" I yelped, slightly offended.
Charlie rolled his eyes. "If it makes you feel any better, I''m doing the freezing thing."
Evelyn tilted her head. "Really? Well... I suppose that''s better than nothing." She added with a smirk, "You know, I''m doing a freezing thing too."
n blinked. "What?"
"Excuse me?" Charlie echoed.
Evelyn grinned. "At death, I n to have my head removed and frozen until such time it can be revived and put on a monkey body."
Charlie stared. "What?"
Grandma shrugged. "Everybody''s doing it."
¡ª
That Night
Charlie was on the deck, nursing a ss of whiskey and staring at the ocean.
I stepped out and sat beside him.
"Rough day?" I asked.
"I''ve had worse," he muttered.
We sat quietly for a bit. The waves crashed gently below us.
I nced over. "You know... I think you''d make a cool dad, Uncle Charlie."
He looked at me, surprised, then smiled. "Thanks, Jake. That actually means a lot."
"A slightly scumbag dad, though," I added casually.
Charlie smiled and shook his head.
I grinned and leaned back, looking up at the stars.
I thought about everything that happened. Uncle Charlie had tried to freeze his sperm, but nothing worked. And just when he was ready to go through with the vasectomy, the doctor bailed because his wife was going intobor. So in the end, Charlie gave up.
------
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Chapter 69: Looking for a CEO
Chapter 69 - Looking for a CEO
Grandma was again in Uncle Charlie''s house.
She was looking at the money in the fund at the end of 2000¡ªher $11.5 million¡ªwith a veryrge grin.
"You really are the best thing that ever happened in my life, sweetheart," she said to me.
"Wow, high praise," I thought. I had never seen Grandma praise anyone like that. But then again, no one had ever given her $11.5 million in a year¡ªwithout her needing to do any work.
Charlie and Dad said in unison, "Thanks, Mom."
Grandma looked exasperated at both of them. "If you two only gave me half the pride, I''d already be satisfied."
"Thanks again, Mom," they both replied.
"Hey Grandma, I have other ideas. And those ideas require apany," I said.
"Jake, you''re 13," Dad said, surprised.
"Yeah, that''s why I need someone to do it. Grandma, I need a very capable CEO. Two things matter most: capable and trustworthy."
I paused for a second, then added, "Initially, I was thinking about getting into the movie business. There''s a lot of money to be made, and I already have a few script ideas. But that''s just the beginning. I want apany flexible enough to invest in different areas."
Few times had I seen Grandma with such a serious expression. She looked at me for a moment and then nodded.
"I have a few options," she said. "And I need to make some calls."
¡ª
The next morning, Grandma was back.
"Oh, Mom is back," Charlie said, ring at me.
Grandma just rolled her eyes.
Then she looked at me and said, "I have three names. None of them will be easy to convince. Jared and Davis are directors at Comcast. Virginia used to be a director at Warner. She might be the easiest one to reach, since she''s currently avable."
"But which one is the best?" I asked.
Grandma took a breath. "Jared is the most strategic, very connected. Davis is a bulldog, great at execution. Virginia... she''s the youngest, and with the least experience. But she''s sharp, understands creative industries, and¡ªmost importantly¡ªshe''s the one I would trust the most."
I nodded. "Then let''s start with Virginia."
¡ª
That afternoon, Grandma and I went to meet Virginia at a quiet caf¨¦ in Beverly Hills. The ce was ssy but low-profile, perfect for serious conversations.
Virginia was already there when we arrived, dressed in a professional but modern outfit, sipping a cappino while scanning something on her tablet.
I was freezing. My brain was screaming, That''s Pepper Potts from Iron Man!
She looked up as we approached, offering a firm but polite smile. "Evelyn Harper. And this must be Jake Harper."
"Pleasure to meet you," I said mechanically.
Grandma greeted her with a warm smile. "Virginia, dear."
"Evelyn, just call me Pepper," she replied, smiling. "I got used to the nickname."
Grandma raised an eyebrow and chuckled. "Well, it does suit you."
I was hyperventting a little. I thought, What the hell is going on? Now there''s Marvel here? What am I supposed to do if Thanos shows up? Tell him a joke? Ask Uncle Charlie to sleep with his daughter? Get Dad to lecture him?
"Do you, by any chance, know Tony Stark?" I asked bluntly, out nowhere
Pepper looked surprised but answered, "Tony Stark? I don''t know anyone with that name." She paused for a second. "Wait, is he the Iron Man or something like that? I remember seeing my nephew reading a Marvelic about him. But he''s not very well known..."
Grandma looked at me weirdly.
"Sorry, I just wanted to know how wide your knowledge is. Or how you''d respond to a weird question," I said, trying to defuse the awkwardness.
The three of us sat down for coffee.
I cleared my throat. "I''ll get straight to the point. I want to create apany, and I want you to be its CEO. We''ll start with movies."
"And why would I do that?" she asked seriously.
"I will give you 10% of thepany. Grandma gets 5%. Harper Fund 10%. And I will keep 75%." I paused. "That would be the best deal of your life. I know it''s hard to believeing from a 13-year-old. But it is what it is."
"I want half. And I want to know more about your ideas," said Pepper.
I shook my head. "The split is non-negotiable. I''m already being very generous with the 10%." Then I raised my hand, holding her gaze. "Five years. In five years, your share will be worth at least one billion dors."
Pepperughed. "You do dream big." She leaned forward slightly. "You know that I need more than that."
I looked at Grandma, and she nodded.
I took a folder from my backpack and slid it across the table to Pepper. It was a detailed report on the Harper Management Fund¡ªour year-end performance and our total AUM (Assets Under Management).
She raised an eyebrow and began reading, her expression slowly shifting from amused to intrigued.
She said, incredulous, "You people put a 13-year-old in charge of a fifty million dor fund? And this... this obscene return?"
"All his doing," Grandma finally said.
"Hey Pepper, give it a shot," I said. "One year is all I ask."
Pepper began tapping her fingers on the table, murmuring, "I was nning to take this year off..."
"One year. I give you one year. If you don''t impress me, I''m out. And I''ll even return half of my promised share," she said firmly. "And I want in on the fund too."
"Okay. You can enter with your own money," I replied.
------
I didn''t want to drag the negotiation. So, let put to the si logic
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Chapter 70: Deal Signed
Chapter 70 - Deal Signed
The following week, Pepper arrived at the Harper residence with a sleek ck folder in hand. She wore a navy zer over a crisp blouse and looked every bit the executive she was about to be.
We gathered in the living room. Grandma had a proud glint in her eyes, while Dad and Uncle Charlie tried to look like they understood what was happening.
Pepper ced the folder on the table. "Here''s the draft contract. I''ve already added some uses for ountability, and one about fund participation. Nothing too aggressive¡ªjust making sure everyone has skin in the game."
Grandma picked it up first, scanning it with interest. I leaned back on the couch, arms crossed, watching.
"I like her," Grandma said after a moment.
Dad nced over. "Mom, you were the one who introduced her."
"And I really have good taste," Grandma replied with a satisfied smile.
Charlie raised a brow. "She''s also not bad to look at," he said with a charming smile on his face.
"Charlie," Grandma snapped, but Pepper just chuckled.
"I''ve dealt with worse," she said. "Way worse."
I looked up and added, "Oh yeah¡ªadd one more use. If you end up in a rtionship with my uncle, you''re prohibited from any future retaliation, and we''ll include a hefty penalty use to make sure of it."
Charlie looked annoyed. "Jake!"
"What, Uncle? I learn from history."
"He is right!" both Dad and Grandma said at the same time.
Grandma sighed and added, "About rtionships... too bad I don''t have a good son to marry you."
"Mom!" now Charlie and Dad said together, offended.
Pepper justughed again, clearly enjoying the chaos that came with the Harper household.
Then she turned to me, shifting back to business. "So, how much are you putting in initially tounch thepany?"
"One million dors," I said without hesitation. I had basically $1.2 million in the bank¡ªoutside the fund.
Pepper raised her eyebrows not impressed.
"Don''t worry, Pepper, the year''s almost over," I added with a smirk. "January is a great month for funding."
She looked at me, now more intrigued.
"That will be your first job. What do you know about BET?" I asked, my expression sharpening into something like a grin.
The rest of the Harper family exchanged knowing looks.
¡ª
The next day, Pepper showed up again. We sat at the kitchen table, and she handed me a sheet of paper.
"This is the amount we can potentially make from the bets you proposed," she said.
I looked down and blinked. "Wow. 110 million after tax."
She had structured a detailed n¡ªmultiple bets spread across the yoffs and the Super Bowl, involving various sportsbooks across the U.S. and even international betting houses, especially in Europe. The core idea was like cing $7.5 million on abined bet with roughly 20-to-1 odds (average).
(Many bets weren''t corrted, so even if one game went wrong, we wouldn''t lose everything.)
"We''ll be using multiple ounts and identities to avoid detection. All legal, of course (clearly using some kind of loophole)" she added, calm and methodical.
"Where are we getting the $7.5 million from?" I asked.
She smiled. "We''ll use a loan¡ªwith the fund''s capital as coteral."
She then added, with a dry tone, "Wouldn''t it be easier to just buy a lottery ticket?"
I understood her. It was a huge gamble. But I just smiled. "Please, ask me that again on January 28th¡ªafter the game."
I leaned back and added, "Oh, and get us VIP box seats for the final, will you?"
She gave me a side nce, still skeptical.
"Now, about our first movie project," I continued. "It''s called Paranormal Activity."
She raised an eyebrow, curious.
"We don''t need much capital," I exined. "We use regr actors, a decent horror director, and shoot the whole thing in a single house. I was thinking... maybe my mom''s ce. It has the perfect look for a haunted story."
Pepper finally smiled. "Low risk, high tension. I like it."
Overhearing just thest part, Charlie chimed in with a beer in hand, "With your mother there, you just need your dad back and you''ve got a horror movie already."
I rolled my eyes.
¡ª
That afternoon, I called Carly, Sam, and Freddie and invited them over to hang out. We settled in the backyard with some sodas and snacks, and I told them I wanted their help with something.
"Okay, hear me out," I said. "We''re going to make a horror movie. It''s called Paranormal Activity."
They all looked at me, surprised.
"Like, a real movie?" Carly asked.
"Yes. With real cameras, real distribution. And I want you guys to be involved¡ªeither acting, helping behind the scenes, or both."
Carly was already smiling. "I''m in. This sounds fun."
Sam shrugged. "If I get to throw stuff around and scream like an idiot, count me in."
But it was Freddie who looked the most excited. He leaned forward, eyes bright. "I''ll bring my equipment. I''ve got some ideas for lighting and camera angles."
I grinned. "Perfect. I also have some ideas for how we''ll move the camera."
Then I added, "But before anything else, we''ll need to sign contracts. Since we''re minors, we''ll need our legal guardians to represent and authorize everything."
They nodded seriously, understanding it was more than just a fun project.
"I''ll pay each of you two grand," I added. "I think we can finish everything in one or two weeks."
"You''re paying us two thousand dors?" the three of them shouted at once.
I just smiled.
If everything goes like the original, two thousand will just be pocket money. I can''t wait to see their reactions when I hand them the real check.
------
Omake: (A different start)
Waking up in apletely white space, a floating soul mumbled to itself, "Oh no. A pure white void? That''s never a good sign. This is red g for crap novel."
After wandering aimlessly for what felt like hours¡ªbut could''ve been minutes or days, who knows¡ªa figure finally appeared.
"Alright, let''s see... What do we usually get in this kind of scenario? God with a beard? Morgan Freeman? Aqua?"
But no.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE, SAITAMA?!" the soul screamed, pointing at the bald, nk-faced man standing in front of him.
The man, who looked suspiciously like Saitama from One Punch Man, said in the same deadpan voice, "I''m here to tell you about your reincarnation process,"
"Great! So, do I get three wishes? Some kind of gacha pull? Cheat system?"
"No," Saitama replied calmly. "But I do have some discount tickets for the grocery store."
The soul red. "This is a SCAM!"
"Don''t worry," Saitama added. "I will grant you one thing: No one will notice you acting different."
Before the soul couldin, everything turned dark.
---
Jake opened his eyes.
"Buahh... buahh..." he cried.
(You f*ing scam. OF COURSE no one''s gonna notice I''m acting different. I was reborn as a BABY!)
------
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Chapter 71: The Movie
Chapter 71 - The Movie
Chapter 69 (Noice!)
We began filming that same weekend. Freddie showed up early, hauling a couple of cameras, tripods, and lights like it was Christmas morning (and that was two days ago). He was practically bouncing with excitement.
"Okay, I''ve mapped out the best lighting spots," he said, unrolling a sketch of my mom''s house. "We''ll start with the bedroom scenes¡ªlight''s best there in the afternoon. Then we can do the hallway takes when it gets darker."
Carly and Sam arrived not long after. Carly had already printed out the shooting script, highlighted and annotated. Sam, of course, brought two duffel bags full of props, including a pair of stic skulls and a toy bat.
"This one screams when you press the eye," she said proudly. "We''re keeping it."
I facepalmed. "Sam, we are doing a real horror movie."
The hired director, Paul¡ªmid-30s, grungy hoodie, and full of indie spirit¡ªwas already setting up near the dining room. He had worked on a few smaller projects before.
"Let''s get sound rolling and go for a test shot," he said, adjusting his headset.
Carly would y the daughter, and Sam was cast as Diane Mercer¡ªthe inte girl.
Freddie, now fully in his element, managed the technical side, constantly tweaking lighting angles and camera positioning. "How do you want the camera movement in the night scenes?" he asked me and the director. "I can set up the auto-pan."
"Exactly that," I nodded. "Slow pan, side to side. Nothing too sudden¡ªlet the tension build in silence."
The director just nodded¡ªhe already knew my vision.
The living room, now filled with cables and lighting stands, looked nothing like it did three days ago. Judith came into view just as we were running a rehearsal take. Her arms were crossed. Her eye twitched.
"Are we really filming a horror movie in our house?" she asked, her voice tight with disbelief.
"Yes, Mom," I said.
Pepper, seated on the couch with a coffee in hand, looked skeptical.
Later, I went over to talk to her privately. "Don''t worry, Pepper. If this doesn''t work, we do it again with a new crew."
I like my friends, but I''m not going to throw away a $200 million movie potential.
She gave me a long look, then simply nodded.
The camera started rolling.
¡ª
After weeks of intense work, it was alreadyte January. School had started again, and the movie was done. Wrapped. Filmed. Edited.
In the post-production Pepper turned into the devil herself.
She drove the editing crew like a general at war, demanding cuts, revisions, pacing, audio corrections.
She was terrifying¡ªbut effective.
¡ª
Now, we were all gathered at Uncle Charlie''s house, in front of the biggest TV on the market¡ªCharlie had insisted on that part.
Everyone was there: Pepper, Carly, Sam, Freddie, Spencer, n, Judith, Charlie, and Evelyn.
The lights were off, popcorn bowls filled, and the remote control in my hand.
Time to watch what we had made.
Halfway through the movie, chaos reigned.
Dad had already screamed like a little girl¡ªtwice. Spencer somehow turned it into apetition,plete with exaggerated gasps and dramatic clutches to the armrest.
Freddie, Carly, and Sam were huddled together on the couch. Carly had her hands over her mouth, Freddie was holding onto both of them, and Sam¡ªtrying to act like she wasn''t fazed¡ªwas clearly failing.
Only Pepper remained neutral, arms crossed, eyes locked around, to see everyone''s reaction
Charlie leaned in from his recliner. "This is... actually terrifying."
"Told you," I muttered with a grin.
¡ª
When the movie finally ended, silence fell across the room.
Freddie broke it first. "Did we really do this movie?" he asked, eyes still wide.
I just smiled.
"Yeah," I said. "We really did."
Evelyn exhaled slowly and muttered, "I''m too old for this."
Pepper, still calm andposed, gave a slow nod, her eyes calcting. "This one can actually work."
I leaned back, thinking to myself. Maybe my opinion is biased, but... the movie''s better than the original.
That doesn''t mean it''ll have the same sess, of course.
"It was not that scary," Dad said, trying to form a smile.
"n, you screamed ''mommy'' two times¡ªand she''s right next to you," Uncle Charlie replied, deadpan.
"Yeah, I think it was okay," Sam added.
"Sam, you let Freddie hug you for half the movie," I pointed out.
Sam''s eyes widened for a second¡ªthen she promptly kicked Freddie off the couch
"Traitor," Freddie muttered from the floor.
"Maybe I need a new house," Mom murmured.
Dad shuddered at those words, fresh chills running down his spine.
We were all still recovering from the adrenaline when I looked around the room. There were no more jokes for a minute, just quiet awe. Whatever happened next, this movie had already done something amazing.
And it was only the beginning.
Pepper stood up, smoothing her zer. "Alright, everyone. This was good. But I have work to do."
She gave me a quick nod before heading toward the door.
"Let''s talk tomorrow, Jake. We''ve got a lot to prepare."
I nodded back. Then, to break the tension, I asked, "So... what''s for dinner?"
¡ª
While we were having dinner, Carly spoke with a wide smile, "I still can''t believe we''ll be in the theater."
"Yeah, and Sam will have an even scarier reputation at school," I added.
"Nice," said Sam with a smile.
I leaned forward a bit. "I''m going to rent a few theaters for the premiere. Feel free to invite whoever you want."
"I don''t know if I want my mom to see it," said Freddie, grimacing.
------
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Chapter 72: Superbowl
Chapter 72 - Superbowl
Terrance came up to me. "Thanks, bro. I can''t believe I''m actually going to watch the Super Bowl at the stadium!"
Terrance was 1.80 meters tall and weighed 130 kilos. A giant¡ªeven among the 12th graders. And yet, he was in our grade, 9th. (Though not in our ss.)
He''s not exactly the brightest mind, to say the least. But he''s someone I can actually talk to about football¡ªAmerican football, to be clear¡ªand he really knows his stuff.
"How''s it been, being the linebacker for our school?" I asked.
"It''s been awesome, man. The upperssmen are cool too," he said with a big grin.
"Nice." I thought to myself, you''re like a giant bear. No sane person would pick a fight with that.
"Hey, I gotta go. The detention, you know..."
"I told you that wasn''t necessary..."
"Nah, it''s all good, bro," he said and walked off.
He got in trouble two months ago. He saw two boys were talking trash about me. He beat them to a pulp. I never asked him to do that, and I didn''t give him anything before or after. He just said, "That''s what friends do." That was it.
So yeah, when the tickets for the Super Bowl came in and I saw I had a whole VIP suite to myself, I didn''t even hesitate. I sent him a message right away: "Wanna join me in the stadium box?"
He sent back fifteen messages, 45 misspelled words, and something about bringing hot dogs. That''s Terrance.
But I knew he''d be grinning the whole game. And honestly? I was happy to have him there.
A little whileter, I ran into Carly, Sam, and Freddie in the hallway between sses. We greeted each other like usual.
I nced at Carly and Freddie. "Are you sure you don''t want toe?"
Freddie shrugged. "My mom thinks football is too violent. She doesn''t even let me watch it sometimes."
Sam, already wearing a NY Giants jersey and smirking, looked at him mockingly. "Oh you, momma''s boy."
"I''m not a momma''s boy!" Freddie snapped.
"You kinda are," Sam teased. "You want me to call her and ask permission right now?"
"Don''t you dare!"
And just like that, they started bickering again.
I turned to Carly. "Are you sure you don''t want toe? If it''s about the money¡ªafter Paranormal Activity is released, you can pay me back."
Carly looked a bit conflicted. She murmured, "I''m watching with my brother."
"He cane too," I said with a shrug. "Spencer''s a funny guy."
That made her smile. I could tell she was seriously thinking about it now.
Then I turned to Sam, raising an eyebrow. "You chose the Giants?"
She crossed her arms proudly. "Born to win, baby."
Freddie groaned. "You only picked them because the uniforms are blue."
"And because they''re gonna crush it. Unlike your delicate little feelings." She grinned.
Here we go again. I just shook my head and kept walking.
And Sam, you''re wrong, I thought. Because they will be destroyed.
¡ª
A few dayster, we were all on the ne.
Everyone was there: me, Charlie, n, Terrance, Sam, Parker (our school''s quarterback, currently in 11th grade¡ªand easily the most popr guy there), Regina, Cher Horowitz (Regina''s frenemy), Pepper, Grandpa on my mom''s side, Carly, Spencer, and Freddie.
Carly had ended up saying yes. She said it was too good to pass up. Freddie was easier to convince¡ªonce Carly agreed, he didn''t want to be left out. The real challenge was convincing his mom.
But somehow, we did it.
Regina offered to pay for her and her friend''s share, but I told her it wasn''t necessary. She smiled and said, in that case, she''d make sure we got to talk to one of the Ravens yers. (Her dad seems pretty well connected.)
I was sitting next to Pepper.
She leaned closer and said, "We''re preparing to shoot the two movies you picked. I already bought the scripts for Brokeback Mountain and My Big Fat Greek Wedding. The first one might stir some controversy with the public, though."
I nodded, listening carefully. Pepper got me a bunch of scripts from the Writers Guild
"And the third one¡ªLost in Trantion¡ªthey''re working off your draft. Maybe we''ll be ready by March or April," she added.
That was faster than I expected. And exactly what I needed to hear.
Pepper continued, "And Paranormal Activity¡ªif we don''t take it to any festivals, we could release it byte March. But I''ll need a few favors in return to make that happen."
"Do whatever you think is best," I said. "I don''t know much about that side of things."
I nced at her with a smirk. "You''re all in."
Pepper smirked back. "I''d be all in even if you didn''t impress me. I don''t do half-assed work."
She leaned in slightly. "But winning 42.5 million in a month¡ª50 million minus the 7.5 million loan¡ªand having another 60 million in the pot today... yeah, that gave me a bit more incentive."
Yeah, we already cashed out 50 million dors after tax. And there are still more toe.
I smiled and shrugged. "If I go wrong in this game, and all the movies go wrong, we still have around 15 million to y with. And that''s assuming we pay off the loan right now."
Pepper murmured, "With my 10%, 1.5 million is basically my sry for an entire year when I was a Warner director. And something tells me these movies won''t go wrong."
Then, I heard two voices bickering from a few seats ahead. Obviously, Sam and Freddie.
I sighed. "Who the hell let those two sit together?"
------
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Chapter 73: Superbowl II
Chapter 73 - Superbowl II
After the flight, everyone headed straight to the hotel. We were all a bit tired from the trip, but the energy was still high with the Super Bowl just around the corner.
As we stepped into the lobby, Cher looked around with a casual nce and said, "Oh, I remember this hotel. It is a nice one."
Exactly what you''d expect from a Beverly Hills princess.
The ce really was nice, though¡ªpolished marble floors, staff in tailored uniforms, and that faint, expensive scent that lingers in luxury ces. Everyone began checking in, grabbing their key cards.
Terrance, Parker, and Spencer looked around like they had just walked into a pce. Terrance turned to me wide-eyed and whispered, "Are you sure we can stay here?"
I just grinned. "Positive, big guy. Just don''t break anything. We''re good."
Then I turned to the group. "It''s 11:00 now. Lunch will be at 12:30 here, for anyone who wants to join. We''re heading out for the Super Bowl at 5:30 PM, so feel free to do whatever you want until then."
¡ª
After a quick shower, I headed back downstairs and made my way to the hotel bar. Charlie, n, and Spencer were already there, drinks in hand and looking way toofortable in those lounge chairs.
A few minutester, Freddie and Sam came in behind me, still bickering about something I didn''t even want to understand.
"Let''s talk about girls," Sam said suddenly, like she was calling for a ssic bro talk.
Charlie raised an eyebrow. "Now this should be good."
Then he leaned in toward me and whispered, "Is she?"
I shook my head. "Not really. She likes boys."
n, trying to jump into the gossip, chimed in, "Those two seem like your typical popr girls," clearly referring to Regina and Cher.
"The queen bees," Charlie added.
Then, with a smirk to n, he said, "That reminds me of our school queen bees."
"You''re kidding. With Carly, they''re the most popr girls in our grade," Freddie said.
"Hey, don''t forget our little Sam here," I added with a grin. "That would make four. This tomboy-ish girl has a lot of admirers."
Sam gave me a yful punch in the arm. "Ow, don''t put me together with them. That just feels creepy, you know."
Charlie chuckled and looked at me. "So you kissed two, and the other two are friends?"
"Wait, you kissed Cher?" Freddie asked, incredulous.
Charlie leaned back, smirking. "Why do you think he switched seats with n on the ne after a while? Clearly n has zero chances with Pepper."
"Thank you, Charlie," n said, unamused.
Then Spencer spoke up, narrowing his eyes at me. "What about my sister? Did you kiss her too?" he asked, trying to sound like the protective brother.
"Nah, we''re good friends," I said, unfazed.
"So anyone kissed her?" Spencer asked again.
"I wish..." Freddie murmured.
Without hesitation, Sam stood up and kicked Freddie in the shin under the table.
"OW! What was that for?!" Freddie yelped, grabbing his leg.
Charlie leaned closer to me and murmured, "Are these two?"
"Not," I said, then paused with a smirk, "for now."
¡ª
After a while, everyone came downstairs. We all headed together to the hotel restaurant.
It was funny seeing the diversity of food on the table. Pepper, Cher, and Regina were eating the fancy stuff¡ªthe kind thates in tiny, artsy portions. Pepper had a ss of wine in hand, lookingpletely at home. Cher and Regina looked like they wanted one too, but Pepper immediately shut that idea down with a firm shake of her head.
Meanwhile, Spencer, Parker, Terrance, and Sam were definitely the ogre types¡ªtes stacked with food like they were preparing for winter. From burgers and ribs to a mountain of fries, their part of the table looked like a medieval feastpared to the delicate ting on the other side.
Carly and Freddie asked for the same as me¡ªKobe beef with potatoes¡ªafter I told them how good it was. Carly took a bite and said with wide eyes, "This beef is so good."
Freddie nodded in agreement with his mouth full. "This is insane. I think I''m gonna dream about this steak tonight."
I just smiled, leaning back in my chair, watching the odd yet perfect group of people around me. Somehow, this chaotic group had turned into something like a family¡ªeven if I''ve known some of them for less than five months.
"And about this afternoon, what are you all thinking of doing?" I asked, looking around the table.
Cher, sitting two seats away, turned to Regina and they said in sync, "Shopping."
I just rolled my eyes. Then I looked at Freddie and Carly. "Want to do some sightseeing? I''ve never been to Tampa before."
Carly exchanged a look with Freddie, then smiled. "That actually sounds fun."
"I''m in," Freddie added quickly. "Way better than following those two into a boutique war zone."
"Alright then," I said, standing up. "Let''s go be tourists for a couple of hours."
¡ª
Me, Sam, Carly, Freddie and Spencer ended up heading out together to explore Tampa. Terrance and Parker stayed behind, fully absorbed in the hotel lounge''s pre-game coverage, which included a rey of the previous year''s Super Bowl. I just shook my head watching them. "Those two foot maniacs," I muttered.
Grandpa was off with Dad, doing their own thing¡ªprobably something that involved stubborn opinions and decaf coffee. Charlie was nowhere to be seen, as usual. And Pepper, ever the responsible one, decided to act as the supervising adult for Cher and Regina. Surprisingly, the two girls didn''t mind at all. In fact, they seemed delighted. Pepper wasn''t just a chaperone¡ªshe was like a queen bee with actual power and poise, and they were more than happy to buzz around her.
------
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Chapter 74: Superbowl III
Chapter 74 - Superbowl III
By 5:30 PM, everyone had gathered back at the hotel. The lobby buzzed with energy, our group slowly reuniting after their own afternoon adventures. People were dressed in jerseys, team scarves, or whatever merch they had picked up since arriving in Tampa.
I looked around and started the roll call. Terrance and Parker wore matching Ravens gear and were still talking about the pre-game breakdown they had watched. Grandpa and Dad were already arguing over who had the better quarterback. Regina and Cher were hyped up¡ªprobably more for the attention than the game¡ªbut even they seemed genuinely excited. Pepper stood nearby, checking her watch like the executive she was, but I caught her smiling.
Charlie was the only one missing.
Just as I was about to call him, he walked through the hotel entrance¡ªsunsses on, shirt half-buttoned, and a beautiful blonde clinging to his arm.
"You''rete," I said, raising an eyebrow.
"Fashionablyte," he replied with a grin.
The blonde gave a polite smile and waved to everyone. No one questioned it. It was Charlie, after all.
"Everyone ready?" I asked, looking around the circle. They answered with cheers, fist pumps, and one very enthusiastic nacho-themed foam finger from Spencer.
Pepper had rented a private shuttle for the ride to the stadium. As we piled in, the mood was full-on celebration. Sam and Spencer kept trying to out-chant each other with team slogans. Carly and Freddie sat close, sharingughs.
Thirty minutes before kickoff, we arrived at Raymond James Stadium. The energy outside was electric¡ªwaves of fans in team colors, music sting, the smell of food and fireworks already in the air. Security moved us through quickly thanks to our VIP credentials.
Once inside, we followed a private corridor that led us straight to our suite. The moment we stepped in, jaws dropped. Floor-to-ceiling windows gave us a perfect view of the field. Plush seating and a table filled with food¡ªsliders, wings, sushi, nachos, desserts¡ªit had everything.
Terrance looked like he might cry. "This... this is heaven."
I turned to Terrance, Sam, and Parker, who were hovering near the buffet already. "It''s all you can eat. Knock yourselves out."
Terrance walked up to me with a grin. "Bro, this is the best day of my life. Thanks, man."
"You''re wee. Just enjoy the show," I said, a smile on my face.
People scattered around the suite, picking their spots.
Then Cher came over to me, a yful smirk on her lips. "Want to watch together?"
"I thought you preferred to watch with Regina," I replied, matching her smirk.
A few minutester, I was seated in the back row of the suite, with Cher on one side and Charlie on the other. Charlie leaned in, gave me a look, and bumped his fist with mine.
"So we''re going with blondes today?" he said with a smile.
I just chuckled, shaking my head, but didn''t say a word.
¡ª
By the end of the second quarter, the Ravens were leading 10¨C0. The tension in the stadium was rising, but the energy in our suite was electric.
Then the lights dimmed.
Halftime show.
When Britney Spears appeared on stage, the girls in our group absolutely lost it. Regina and Cher screamed louder than anyone in the row.
And I had to admit¡ªI was impressed too. Britney was in the peak of her beauty and presence,manding the stage like no one else. This was way before her downfall.
"Wow," I murmured, unable to look away.
"You''re not the only one thinking that," Charlie said, raising his brows while watching the performance.
¡ª
After the third quarter, the score was already 24¨C7. The Ravens were just a few minutes away from being crowned champions.
Somewhere in the middle of that excitement, Cher leaned in and convinced me to do something other than watch the game. I didn''t protest.
Charlie and his blondepanion were nowhere to be seen.
¡ª
While Cher and I were kissing near the back of the suite, Terrance suddenly burst into the room with a shout. "We are champions, man!" he yelled¡ªthen froze as soon as he saw us.
Like a true bro, he stopped mid-celebration and gave a quiet nod of understanding before slowly backing away.
A momentter, Regina approached and let out a very pointed cough. We ignored it.
Then she coughed again, this time louder and much more theatrical. Still nothing.
"Come on, you two," she said, separating us with her hands.
"Hey, Regina," I said with a smile. "Did we win?" I asked like nothing happened.
"You are impossible, Jake," she said, smiling back and shaking her head.
Seemed like the kissing time was over¡ªfor now. I got up, gave Cher a wink, and went to celebrate the victory with the rest of the gang.
After screaming "Champions!" with the boys, I made my way toward Pepper.
"How do you feel winning six million in a game, Pepper?" I asked, referring to her share of the win.
"Un-fucking-believable," said Pepper.
It was the first time I had ever heard her swear. And honestly, it kind of made sense.
She quickly regained herposure, then looked at me and said, "Jake, I will go ahead first. You go back the same way."
"Why?" I asked.
"I have a lot of work to do."
"You just won six million and want to work now?" I said, incredulous.
"It''s not about money for me anymore," she replied.
I nodded with a knowing look and murmured, "One hell of a CEO grandma found," while watching Pepper walk away.
Then I made my way over to Sam, Carly, and Freddie. Carly gave me a teasing look and said, "Do you even know the final score, Jake?"
"Not really," I said without any shame.
We allughed.
------
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Chapter 75: The Day After
Chapter 75 - The Day After
Chapter 73
I was sitting in Carly''s living room, sipping a soda and talking about everything except the Super Bowl. Her ce was cozy¡ªwarm lighting, tidy shelves, and Spencer''s usual bizarre artwork scattered everywhere. Carly sat across from me on the couch, legs crossed, a smirk dancing on her lips after one of my jokes.
"You and Cher?" she asked, obviously fishing for gossip.
"Just good friends," I replied with a grin.
Before she could press further, the front door swung open unexpectedly.
"Is Sam here?" Freddie called as he stepped inside, ncing around.
Carly and I exchanged a look.
"No. Why?" Carly asked.
"Because I pulled a prank on her," Freddie said nonchntly.
Carly blinked. "You pulled a prank on Sam?"
"Uh-huh," Freddie confirmed.
"What, are you tired of living? Why would you mess with Sam?" Carly asked, clearly horrified.
"Because she put a dead fish in my locker," he replied tly.
Freddie held up his backpack. "Smell this."
"No. Gross," I said immediately.
"I don''t want to smell your fishy backpack either," Carly added, cringing.
"What prank did you pull on Sam?" I asked, genuinely curious now.
Suddenly, there was a loud pounding at the door.
"Open the door!" Sam shouted.
"Call the police," Freddie muttered in panic.
"Open this door, Freddie!" Sam yelled again.
"Leave me alone, Sam!" Freddie shouted back.
"We''re even!" he added, hopefully.
"Come here, Benson!" Sam''s voice echoed from the hallway. Then, with a loud crash, the door burst open and she stormed in.
Carly looked at Freddie, raising an eyebrow. "You handcuffed her to Gibby?"
I burst outughing. "Freddie, you''re insane," I said betweenughs.
"She put a dead fish in my locker!" Freddie defended himself.
Sam looked ready to explode. "Gibby is way worse than a dead fish."
Right on cue, Gibby proudly dered, "My mom thinks I''m awesome!"
"Just give me the key!" Sam growled.
The next five minutes were pure chaos¡ªrunning, dodging, yelling, and one brokenmp. After a frenzied game of tag, Gibby was finally freed and sprinted out the door like his life depended on it.
Sam and Freddie, however, were still arguing like nothing had been settled.
"Come on, you put a dead fish in my locker," Freddie said.
"And I handcuffed you to Gibby. We''re even."
"Yay," Carly said, trying to lighten the mood. "Who wants lemonade?"
"I don''t y to get even," Sam said, stepping closer.
"Mama ys to win."
She pointed at Freddie. "I''m gonna get you. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow. But I''m gonna get you."
"I''m not scared," Freddie replied, clearly terrified.
¡ª
The next day, I walked into school, still smiling from all the chaos at Carly''s. As I turned the corner into the main hallway, I spotted Freddie standing next to one of the teachers.
The teacher had a hand on Freddie''s shoulder and said, in a tone meant to be reassuring, "There''s nothing wrong with not having kissed anyone yet. Say it: ''I am Freddie Benson, and I have never kissed a girl.'' "
A beat of silence. Then the hallway erupted withughter.
Freddie turned bright red. I almost dropped my backpack.
I murmured under my breath, "What the hell is going on? What does this idiot teacher think he''s doing?" I tried to stay calm.
Then I spotted Terrance down the hall.
"Terrance!" I called.
He turned with a grin. "Jake!"
"Intimidation mode: on. Let''s go."
Terrance started walking toward us¡ªand with him, three other guys from the football team, all upperssmen. Big, loud, and loyal. Without needing an exnation, they followed his lead.
We approached Freddie. Terrance started cracking one fist into the other, looking like he was about to knock someone out. The other three mirrored him, arms crossed, stone-faced.
The hallway fellpletely silent.
I stepped beside Freddie and put a hand on his shoulder. "Come on, Freddie. Let''s go to ss." Carly was beside him and came along too.
We turned and walked together, the others nking us like bodyguards. The crowd moved out of the way, and no oneughed again.
When we reached the ssroom, I stopped at the door, looked at Carly and Freddie, and asked in a low voice, "Who did this?"
Freddie didn''t answer right away. Carly nced around the room, her jaw tightening.
Then Sam walked in.
I didn''t need a confession¡ªby the look on their faces, I knew. Freddie, Carly, even Sam herself couldn''t hide it.
I ran a hand down my face with a long exhale. "Of course," I muttered, ruffling my own hair in frustration.
Then I turned and walked toward Sam.
"We need to talk, Sam," I said quietly, eyes locked on hers.
"Jake," Carly began, trying to defuse the tension.
"Not now, Carly," I said, without looking back.
¡ª
Sam and I walked outside, heading to a quiet corner near the back of the school.
She folded her arms. "Alright, what''s up?"
I took a deep breath. "What the hell were you thinking, Sam? Publicly humiliating Freddie like that?"
She looked away for a moment, jaw clenched. "It was just a joke."
"It wasn''t funny," I said, firm. "He looked like he wanted to disappear."
"You crossed the line, Sam."
She didn''t say anything at first. Her arms were still folded, but her shoulders slumped just a bit.
"If you weren''t my friend," I added, voice low but serious, "you''d have seen how I cross the line."
Her eyes met mine, a flicker of surprise breaking through the tension.
"You''re better than that," I continued. "And I know you care about him, even if you pretend not to."
Sam exhaled through her nose, gaze dropping to the ground. "I didn''t think it''d get that bad."
"Yeah, well, it did. And you know what the worst part is? He still tried tough it off. Because that''s what Freddie does."
Sam nodded slowly. "I''ll fix it."
"Good," I said, softer now.
Then I turned and walked back toward the building, leaving Sam standing alone in the quiet, finally thinking it through.
------
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Chapter 76: The Apology
Chapter 76 - The Apology
Sam didn''t show up to first period.
Carly noticed right away. She kept ncing at the empty seat, then at the door, then over at me. Her fingers tapped nervously on the edge of her notebook, like she wanted to ask but didn''t know how.
I sat still, eyes forward, pretending not to notice.
¡ª
Then, during second period, Sam showed up.
She walked in quietly, not saying anything, her steps slower than usual. Her eyes were a little red, like she had cried.
Everyone nced her way but didn''t say much. Even the teacher only gave her a nod and gestured toward her seat.
I watched her for a second. She didn''t look at me. Not once.
Just a momentter, the teacher from first period stepped out of the ssroom.
The usual second period teacher¡ªthe idiot who "tried" to help Freddie¡ªdidn''t show up.
Instead, Principal nkin walked in.
He began, "Your teacher had a little inconvenience."
I said with sarcasm, "Didn''t know being fired was considered a little inconvenience nowadays."
Principal Franklin turned his head slowly and looked at me. I looked right back at him. Neither of us smiled. No tension, no challenge¡ªjust two people locking eyes withplete neutrality.
Then a knock came at the door. A teacher peeked in, holding a sealed envelope.
"For you, Principal Franklin," she said politely, handing it over.
He took the letter without a word, nodded, and opened it slowly while still standing at the front of the ssroom. His eyes scanned the contents in silence.
I leaned back slightly and muttered just loud enough, "Seems like the deputy superintendent agrees that ipetence deserves a firing."
No oneughed, but I saw a few exchanged nces. Franklin kept reading, expression unreadable.
Then he folded the letter and tucked it into his jacket.
"A substitute teacher will be announced shortly," he said in his usual even tone. "For now, use this time to work on your homework."
Without another word, he turned and left the room, the door clicking shut behind him.
The moment the door closed, the room erupted.
Some kids started pping, others whistled. A couple of guys in the back stood up and high-fived. Even Carly let out augh, though she tried to cover it quickly. Freddie cracked a smile for the first time all day.
I didn''t join in. I just leaned back in my chair and watched them celebrate like we''d all won something.
Mr. Devlin. A man who somehow made every ss feel like a punishment. The guy deducted points if your paper was three-hole punched (Carly got a B+ because of that). He literally called students "idiot," "awful," "bad," and "terrible" when handing back assignments. Once, when half the ss said they couldn''t keep up, he simply shrugged and said, "I will not slow down."
He had manyints. I don''t know how he didn''t get kicked before, nor do I care. I had enough.
Then one of the guys in the back raised his arms and shouted, "To our prince!"
Clearly referring to me.
I clenched my teeth and thought, Prince?! Kinda cringe. I''m not some shoujo manga MC.
¡ª
After ss, Sam found Freddie in the hallway. She didn''t wait until they were alone. In front of everyone, she looked at him straight on and said:
"I told you guys that Freddie never kissed anyone. And that was really personal and I shouldn''t have said it. And for all you people out there who''ve teased Freddie about it,y off, ''cause I bet a whole lot of you haven''t kissed anyone either-- including me. Yeah, that''s right. I''ve never kissed anyone. So, if you wanna tease someone about it, tease me, which is a bad idea unless you live near a hospital."
"So I''m sorry, Freddie."
It was honest. It was bold. And for a second, everything went quiet.
Freddie blinked, clearly caught off guard, but nodded. "Okay," he said. "We''re good."
They weren''t suddenly best friends, but it felt like something had been repaired.
As I turned toward my locker, Carly came up beside me with a smile.
"Thank you!" she said.
"For?"
"You know," she said, still smiling, but with a small shrug. Then she added quietly, "I wish I could be that reliable too."
I gently patted her head. "You will be with time."
Carly gave me a deadpan look. "You sound older than Spencer."
"That''s because he sounds like an eleven-year-old."
We bothughed.
¡ª
In a hidden spot behind the school building, I found Cher waiting.
"Thank you for your help," I said.
She crossed her arms and tilted her head. "I didn''t like him either. Can you believe he called me an idiot one time?"
I raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, I can. That sounds like him."
Cher rolled her eyes, clearly still annoyed by it. But she smiled a little, too.
Then she added, "But I didn''t know you were this kind of person. What would you have done if it wasn''t your friend Sam? If it was just some random girl humiliating your friend?"
I shrugged and said, "Who knows?"
I smirked. "So I just need to pay with kisses?"
Cher snorted. "That would be more like a reward for you."
I didn''t say anything. I just sat down next to her and kissed her.
Then I pulled back slightly, grinning. "Are you sure about that?"
Cher yfully pped my shoulder. "Just kiss me, you idiot."
So I did.
As we were kissing, two familiar voices came from nearby.
I stopped and turned.
Cher, a little annoyed that the kiss was interrupted, turned her head as well to see who it was.
I quickly reached over, gently covering her mouth with my hand, and brought a finger to my lips. "Shh. Sam and Freddie, yeah," I whispered.
------
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Chapter 77: The Kiss
Chapter 77 - The Kiss
"So, what do you wanna talk about?" Freddie asked.
"I''m sorry again about telling people you never kissed anyone, and about putting blue cheese dressing in your shampoo bottle, and about sending your cell phone to Cambodia," Sam said in one breath.
"So this means you''re not gonna mess with me anymore?" Freddie asked cautiously.
"No, I''m still gonna mess with you," Sam admitted. "I''m just gonna apologize every few years so I can start fresh again."
"Good," Freddie said.
"Good?"
"Yeah."
"It''s so dumb," Sam muttered.
"What do you mean?"
"You know, how people get all freaked out over their first kiss. Stupid."
"So you weren''t lying? You''ve really never kissed anyone?" Freddie asked.
"Nope," Sam replied.
"Sometimes I just wish I could get it out of the way," she continued.
"Yeah, you know, me too," Freddie said.
"Right? You know, just so I can stop worrying about it."
"Yeah."
"What?" Sam asked, noticing his hesitation.
"Nothing. It''s--"
"Tell me," Sam insisted.
"No, it''s dumb."
"Say it."
"Okay. I was just gonna say--"
"That we should kiss?" Sam finished for him.
"You''re gonna break my arm now, right?" Freddie asked.
"No."
"Well, should we? Just so both of us can get it over with?"
"Hmm," Sam considered.
"Just to get it over with," Freddie repeated.
"Just to get it over with," she agreed.
"And you swear we both go right back to hating each other as soon as it''s over?"
"Oh, totally."
"And we never tell anyone."
"Never."
"Well, when?"
Then, Freddie kissed Sam. A normal kiss.
"Well, that was--" Freddie began.
"Nice?" Sam offered.
"Yeah, nice."
"Good work."
"Thank you."
"You too."
"Hey, I hate you," Freddie said.
"Hate you too," Sam replied.
Then, without another word, they each turned and walked off in opposite directions.
¡ª
I turned to Cher.
"They are so cute together," she said.
"Right?" I replied, smiling.
Then I added, "Don''t tell anyone about this, alright?"
Cher smirked and nodded. "Their secret''s safe with me."
I grinned. "Let''s pick up where we left off."
"dly," she said, and we both smiled.
¡ª
The next day, the quartet was back together again.
Sam and Freddie were bickering again, but Carly was smiling at it. After school, we all gathered at Carly''s house.
As we sat on the couch, Carly suddenly asked, "Sam, you''ve seriously never kissed anyone?"
Freddie choked, but both girls ignored him.
"You''re shocked?" Sam said.
"Well, yeah," Carly replied, raising her eyebrows, "but just because you always seemed so willing."
Sam rolled her eyes, but there was a trace of a smile on her lips.
I nced at Carly and thought, Oh man, I really want to tell her... but I shouldn''t.
Then Carly turned to me. "What about you?"
"Me neither. Never kissed," I said without even blinking.
The three of them stared at me for a second. Then, all at once, they grabbed the couch pillows and started throwing them at me.
"Hey! Hey! I''m just beingpletely honest!" Iughed, shielding myself.
After someughs, I looked at Carly and asked, "What exactly were you trying to find out, Carly?"
"Who was your first kiss?" she said with a grin.
"Because we know about Amy, Regina, Cher..." Sam added, counting on her fingers.
"Okay, okay, okay," I said quickly, holding up my hands to stop her.
Then I added with a crooked smile, "Her name was Rory Gilmore."
That got them all to stop for a beat. Sam raised an eyebrow, Carly blinked, and Freddie lookedpletely confused.
"Never heard of her," Sam finally said.
"I''d be really surprised if you had," I replied. "I met her on a trip to New York City."
They just kept staring at me, waiting for more.
Then Carly leaned forward and said, "Ohe on, now you need to tell us more."
"Well," I began, leaning back a little with a smile, "she''s a pretty brte, with stunning blue eyes. One of those proper good-girl types."
I paused for effect. "She kind of ignored me at first."
Then I smirked, tossing a pillow up and catching it casually. "But Jake''s charm is unstoppable," I said with my most pompous attitude.
The three of them exchanged looks, then nodded in silent agreement. Each grabbed a pillow, and in perfect coordination, theyunched them at me.
"Let''s kick this smug bastard ass!" Sam shouted with a grin.
¡ª
After the shenanigans, and a good round ofughter, we were all sprawled out on the floor. Well, Sam and I were sitting. Carly and Freddie were lying t on their backs, clearly wiped out.
After a while, Carly sat up and looked at me. "Now finish your story," she said.
"So, I won her over with a beautiful song. And then..."
I puckered my lips and made exaggerated kissing noises.
Without missing a beat, Sam grabbed a nearby pillow and smacked me in the face again.
"Serves you right," Carly muttered, trying not tough.
"Hey, sing us the song," Sam said.
"Nah, I need a piano."
"You y piano?" Sam asked, astonished.
I replied deadpan, "That''s my best instrument."
"Spencer has a guitar," Carly said, already jumping to her feet and running off to get it.
Momentster, she returned and handed it to me.
I tuned it roughly and looked at them. "I still prefer the piano version, but here we go."
Then I began to y and sing Shallow, letting the acoustic melody fill the room.
Carly and Sam looked at each other. Carly said, "Well, I see how it could''ve happened."
Freddie, oblivious to the girls'' reactions, asked, "Have you ever thought about bing a professional singer, Jake?"
"Yes," I said with a nod, setting the guitar down gently. "And that is something I want to talk about."
------
A/N: I made an Auxiliary Chapter few days ago. If you have any doubts about someone, leave ament there. I n to update it from time to time.
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Chapter 78: Big Plans
Chapter 78 - Big ns
Chapter 76
"Yes," I said with a nod. "And that''s actually something I want to talk about."
That caught everyone''s attention.
"Wait, for real?" Sam asked, eyes narrowing slightly.
"Like... seriously?" Carly added, shifting closer.
"Yeah. I''ve been thinking a lot about it," I continued. "Not just as a hobby, but as professional. But I don''t want to get too famous before I''m of legal age."
Freddie sat up straighter. "Dude, I think that''s awesome. You definitely have the voice for it."
"But I''m thinking about using a mask and already starting to release some songs," I added.
"Like Batman!" Freddie blurted out.
We all gave him a deadpan look.
"Idiot," Sam said
¡ª
Later that night, I found myself in the kitchen with Uncle Charlie and Dad. They were casually sipping their coffee while flipping through some old newspaper on the counter.
"So," I began, leaning against the fridge, "I was talking to my friends earlier about something important."
Charlie looked up, mildly interested. "You didn''t knock up someone, did you?"
n gave Charlie a disapproving look.
"Funny," I said dryly. "No, I''ve been thinking aboutunching some music. Recording and releasing stuff."
Dad raised an eyebrow. "Really?"
Charlie spoke again, more seriously this time. "You do have the talent for it."
"Thank you, Uncle Charlie," I said. "And you, Uncle Charlie? Are you sure you don''t want some of my songs? You can be famous..."
"Nah, I''m good. I don''t really like to sing for public."
I nodded. We had already talked about it. Then I continued,
"But I don''t want to be famous before I''m of legal age. So I''m thinking about using some disguises. And the songs I have in mind¡ªsome of them won''t even be sung by me."
"What kind of disguise?" Dad asked, curious now.
Looking over at Charlie, who was holding a bag of marshmallows and munching on one, I smirked. "Maybe... a marshmallow costume?"
n looked at the bag in Charlie''s hand and snorted. "You can''t be serious?"
¡ª
The next day, I was in the office of J.D. Company (mypany name, nothing too creative, just my initials). Pepper stood by the whiteboard, flipping through some of the notes I had left.
When I brought up the disguise idea again, she looked up and said, "You can''t be serious?"
"I am. I don''t want to be famous too soon."
"Not that idea. The marshmallow one," she said seriously.
"I saw my uncle eating it, and I thought ''why not?''" I said, exining the idea.
"Jake," Pepper said deadpan, looking me straight in the eye.
"That fluffy white candy seems like a good idea," I said straight to her.
"Jake," Pepper repeated again, not buying any of my shit.
We looked at each other for a moment.
Pepper stared at me, thoroughly unamused.
"Ok," I ruffled. "I might have bought the bag of marshmallows and waited for the exact moment to bring it up."
(With my experience, Uncle Charlie usually steals my snacks the same day¡ªor the day after.)
Pepper remained serious.
"Oh,e on. Imagine if I be a famous singer. When they ask me about it, I''d say it all started by watching my uncle eat candy. That would be hrious."
Pepper cked a smile and sighed with a softugh. "What should I do with you?" Then, after a moment, she added, "Alright, pass me your idea. I know you don''t do half-assed ideas."
So I told her the idea: a mask shaped like a marshmallow, but with a twist¡ªsharp teeth for eyes and a wide, mischievous smile across the face. LED lights would be embedded in the design, changing colors and pulsing with the rhythm of the music.
I even made a sketch of the mask. And the name was Marshmello¡ªwithout the "w" at the end.
"Incredible enough, not a bad idea," said Pepper, looking at the sketch. "But we need to see it for real." Then after a moment, she continued, "I know you have more than a hundred songs in your name."
"Yeah," I replied, then thought to myself, I stole it all. And I''m still remembering the rest.
"What kind of songs are you nning to release?" Pepper asked.
"Electronic. These are the first five songs: ..." so I said the four songs names. I paused a moment, then added, "and ''Friendzone.''"
I thought to myself, Since I already have a song called ''Friends,'' I''ll change the original Marshmello title to ''Friendzone.'' Might as well be the one to create the concept¡ªsince the TV show Friends doesn''t exist here, and the movie Just Friends hasn''t been released.
To honor our brave soldiers lost to ''life.''
¡ª
On my way back home, I grabbed a cab. When I arrived and stepped into the garage, I saw my dad sitting in the driver''s seat of his car¡ªwith Rose in the passenger seat.
I froze at the entrance and blinked.
Yeah, I don''t want to know what weird thing happens here.
I entered through the kitchen and passed by the living room. That''s when I saw Uncle Charlie with a few friends¡ªfour people in total. Two were sitting on the couch, one in the armchair, and the oldest one wasfortably settled in the recliner. They were all sipping whiskey and puffing on cigars.
Charlie looked up, spotted me, and grinned wide.
"Hey, this is my nephew I''m always talking about," he said proudly, raising his ss as he motioned toward me.
I greeted them politely, shaking hands and offering a nod to each of them. I stayed for a few minutes, making small talk, answering some questions, and smiling through a few light jokes.
After a while, I excused myself and headed to my room. I was more tired than I realized.
------
A/N: I made an Auxiliary Chapter few days ago. If you have any doubts about someone, leave ament there. I n to update it from time to time.
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Chapter 79: Josh
Chapter 79 - Josh
Dad and I were gathered around the breakfast table. The morning sun streamed through the windows, casting a warm glow on the kitchen. tes clinked and soft chatter filled the air.
n had gone out of his way to order all of my favorite breakfast items¡ªfluffy pancakes, crispy bacon, fresh fruit, scrambled eggs, and a basket of buttery croissants.
I sat down and raised an eyebrow, looking at the spread.
"You did all this?" I asked Dad.
He shrugged, trying to y it cool. "Figured you deserved it."
Before anyone could respond, Uncle Charlie strolled in with his usual swagger.
"Morning, everybody," he said, grinning as he stepped into the kitchen.
Without missing a beat, Dad gestured to a second tray he had waiting by the counter. "And here''s your favorite, Charlie¡ªextra crispy bacon, sausage links, and that cinnamon French toast you like."
Charlie blinked, clearly surprised. I looked at him, and he looked back at me. We both exchanged nces.
"Okay, n, what do you want?" Charlie asked, narrowing his eyes.
"Nothing," Dad said, a little awkward, before quickly changing the subject. He turned to me. "Jake, your friend Josh mighte by today."
"Josh? Who''s Josh?" I asked, genuinely confused.
"Your friend from yourst school?" Dad said, sounding a little incredulous.
I looked at Charlie, who raised his hands in mock defense.
"Don''t look at me," he said. "I barely remember my girls'' names..."
n let out a frustrated sigh. "Josh, the one who came herest year."
I still stared at him, clueless.
n huffed. "The one that drew Cindy''s ass."
Charlie and I both shouted at the same time, "Ahh! That boy!"
n threw up his hands. "You two are unbelievable."
I narrowed my eyes a bit and tilted my head. "Why is Joshing here? Are you trying to get with his mom?" I asked Dad.
Dad looked a little guilty.
"There it is!" Uncle Charlie said, pointing with his fork like he''d just won a bet.
"She got divorced," Dad mumbled.
Then, looking at us with pleading eyes, he added, "Can you two help me this time?"
I looked into Dad''s eyes. After a moment, I nodded. "Okay."
Lately, with all the time spent hanging out with Carly, Sam, Freddie, and sometimes Regina and Cher, it had been a while since I yed video games. Might not be bad. I even had some new games I hadn''t opened yet.
"Wait, the two of us?" said Charlie.
"Can you get Josh from school?" asked n.
Charlie narrowed his eyes but sighed and nodded. "Okay, I''ll help."
¡ª
That night, Josh and I were in the living room¡ªmainly because of the big TV. Pillows and nkets were scattered across the couch.
We were ying Harvest Moon: Back to Nature, a ssic. Josh was in charge of farming potatoes, while I took care of farming hearts. We took turns.
At some point, I must''ve fallen asleep. Josh, however, was stillpletely engaged¡ªmilking cows and feeding chickens.
Suddenly, a loud gasp echoed through the room.
"What? What happened?" I asked, startled awake.
When I looked toward the source of the sound, I saw Josh frozen, pointing at a woman standing there half-naked, wearing only a long T-shirt.
"So?" I asked, walking over to him.
"She''s Ms. Pasternak. My teacher," he said, still in shock.
"Oh. Hi," I said, raising a hand casually,pletely ignoring how awkward the moment was.
"Hi," she replied, equally awkward.
I would''ve asked what she was doing here¡ªbut that would''ve been a dumb question. I already knew who she was doing.
And right on cue, the answer walked in.
"Hey, guys," said Charlie with a wide grin.
I just shook my head. "Come on, Josh, we''re sleeping in my room."
He tried to whisper to me, but it came out loud enough for everyone to hear:
"I saw my teacher''s ass."
I just held back augh.
¡ª
The next day, Josh had already gone home. I was having lunch with Uncle Charlie and Dad¡ªit was one of those rare afternoons without school.
"Josh texted me. He''s forbidden froming here again."
"I don''t know whose fault that is..." I said, staring at Charlie, then at the ck eye n was sporting.
"Oh, Josh texted me again," I added,ughing. "He said I became even more of a legend in my old school."
"And there''s more¡ªword is going around that I live in ''Ass Paradise.'' Well... he did see it during the two days he was here. One hundred percent."
Uncle Charlie burst outughing. Dad just scoffed.
¡ª
Then the doorbell rang. I went to answer it. It was a package for me.
I opened it¡ªand inside was a Marshmello helmet.
When I put it on, I was surprised by how light it was. The inside was spacious, and the view was pretty clear, thanks to therge teeth-shaped eye holes.
There was also a remote inside the box. I pressed the button and the helmet started blinking.
It was hard to notice the full effect from inside the mask, but once I took it off, I could clearly see the LED lights glowing all around it.
Excited, I went to show it to Charlie and n in the kitchen.
"Look, pretty cool, huh?" I said.
"Not that bad," said Charlie.
n nodded.
Then I turned to n, lowered my voice, and said, "n, I''m your father," in my best Darth Vader impression.
The helmet actually had a voice-changer feature, and one of the modes mimicked Darth Vader''s voice.
Looks like Pepper had a sense of humor after all.
------
A/N: I made an Auxiliary Chapter few days ago. If you have any doubts about someone, leave ament there. I n to update it from time to time.
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Chapter 80: Songs
Chapter 80 - Songs
I was sitting at the usual corner table of the school cafeteria with Carly, Sam, and Freddie. The lunch rush was just starting to peak, and trays ttered all around us as students shuffled through the lines.
A few minutester, Regina and Cher approached with their trays. Regina sat down right next to me. Cher slid into the seat across from her.
"Hey, everyone," Cher said with a friendly nod.
"Hey," we all responded almost in unison.
The table filled up quickly, but it didn''t feel crowded. Justfortable.
Regina bumped my shoulder lightly. "You better not steal any of my fries."
"No promises," I said with a smirk.
Cher poked at her sd with a fork, already jumping into the conversation like she''d been there from the beginning.
Regina looked around the table with a satisfied grin. "This is officially the most popr table in the ninth grade."
I just rolled my eyes. I liked being popr¡ªbut for Regina, it was more than that. It was like some school-life goal.
Sam smirked and leaned back. "Howe Freddie is in here?"
"Shut up, Sam," Freddie shot back, not even looking up from his tray.
Cher watched the exchange with amusement and gave me a small smile¡ªone of those subtle, knowing ones. It lingered for a second, and I knew exactly what she was thinking about.
The kiss.
I cleared my throat and changed the subject. "Hey guys, my helmet''s done. And Pepper already set up the recording studio and found the singers."
That got everyone''s attention.
Regina leaned in, eyes narrowing slightly. "I understand that you don''t want to be famous for now. But I can''t believe you''re not even gonna sing."
"I will in the future," I said, then looked around the table. "So... do you wannae?"
Everyone nodded or said yes almost at the same time.
"Of course.", "Definitely.", "Wouldn''t miss it."
The n was set.
¡ª
Later that afternoon, we arrived at the studio Pepper had arranged. The ce was sleek and modern, with soundproof rooms, high-end equipment, and a quiet, focused energy that made everything feel cozy.
Two young women stood in front of the recording booth, each with headphones on, eyes closed as they practiced. I hadn''t met them before.
First came "Alone" (n Walker). Soft, haunting, and full of feeling. The singer hit every note with effortless grace. Then came "Faded" (n Walker).
They weren''t famous. But they were good. Really good. As I stood there listening, I thought to myself: They do justice to the originals.
After the first run-through, I stepped inside the booth (I was already wearing Marshmello costume - the helmet and all white clothes). I gave a few notes, adjusted the rhythm slightly, and exined how I wanted the buildup and drops to feel.
The girls listened carefully, nodded, and went again.
This time, it was perfect.
Then I turned to Pepper, gave a small nod, and said, "We''re ready to show it."
Outside the booth, Carly, Sam, Freddie, Regina, Cher, and Pepper were gathered, all watching expectantly.
The lights dimmed slightly in the control room. A quiet hush fell over everyone.
And then, the music started.
A soft piano melody flowed through the speakers, gentle and melodic. One of the girls began to sing:
?You were the shadow to my light
Did you feel us?
Another star, you fade away
Afraid our aim is out of sight
Wanna see us alive?
As the verse ended, the sound began to shift. A subtle beat emerged beneath the vocals, growing stronger. The piano faded into the background asyers of synths built up.
?Where are you now?
Where are you now?
Where are you now?
Was it all in my fantasy?
Where are you now?
Were you only imaginary??
While the music picked up its rhythm, something happened¡ªthe lights in the control room where Pepper and the others stood began to change colors. Soft blues, purples, and pinks cycled slowly at first, like pulses in sync with the beat.
And then, as the chorus hit, the lights intensified. Brighter shes of neon lit up the space, casting dancing glows on their faces, like they were suddenly in the middle of a club. No one said a word.
?I''m faded, I''m faded
So lost, I''m faded, I''m faded
So lost, I''m faded?
This wasn''t just a track.This was an experience.
¡ª
The track faded out (no pun intended), and before anyone could react, the second song began.
"Alone."
Just like the first, it began with a soft intro, breathy vocals. As the song progressed, the beat took over and the light show resumed, syncing with the rhythm and growing more intense as the chorus approached.
?Anywhere whenever
Apart but still together
I know I''m not alone
I know I''m not alone
I know I''m not alone
I know I''m not alone?
Another perfect performance.
As the final notes yed, I stepped out of the recording booth and walked toward them, the helmet still on.
"So," I asked with a grin in my voice, "what do you think?"
"That was so cool!" said Cher.
"I totally can see these songs in parties," Regina added, a bright smile on her face.
Sam, Carly, and Freddie chimed in too, all full of praise and excitement.
I stepped closer to Pepper and inclined my head.
"Can you stop looking like you just saw a golden goose? You look like you wanna rip the golden egg out by hand..."
Pepper rolled her eyes and gave me a sharp pinch on the arm.
"Ow! Okay, okay," Iughed. "I get it."
Pepper crossed her arms and said, "If the other three songs are even a fraction as good as these two, you''d already have one hell of a debut."
Then she added thoughtfully, "I think we could spend a little more and bring in someone really famous to sing one of them."
I nodded. "Yeah, I want that. Let''s release these five, then we do that."
------
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Chapter 81: New girl
Chapter 81 - New girl
The new recording session.
This time, it was the turn of the third song: "Happier."
I stood inside the booth, fully dressed as Marshmello.
The guest singer was Richard.
He wasn''t famous, but he walked into the booth with quiet confidence. I stood nearby, nodding to the beat, asionally adjusting a setting or giving subtle hand signals to guide the vibe.
The track began, and as soon as Richard started singing, everyone in the control room leaned in a little closer.
? Lately, I''ve been, I''ve been thinking
I want you to be happier, I want you to be happier ?
Richard''s voice was warm and raw, perfectly matching the mood of the lyrics.
Cher spoke up, her voice soft. "He''s really good."
Sam nodded slowly. "Yeah..."
¡ª
After the end of the song, I stepped out of the booth, still wearing the Marshmello helmet.
"So," I asked the same question, my voice slightly muffled but still teasing, "what did you think?"
Carly lit up immediately. "Oh my God, that was incredible! I want to hear it again¡ªright now."
Cher nodded enthusiastically.
Regina crossed her arms with a small smirk. "The song''s fantastic... but I still think it would''ve been even better if you had sung it."
I walked over and yfully pinched Regina''s cheeks. "When did you be a bootlick?"
Regina rolled her eyes but didn''t hide the smile creeping onto her face.
Cher looked at me, half-serious, half-pouting. "Howe I''m the only one that didn''t hear you sing?"
"Oh, yeah. You didn''te to my end-of-year partyst year," I said with a grin.
"I was in Paris," Cher replied, like she''d just been wronged.
Everyone looked at her deadpan.
"I can''t feel any pity... rich girl," said Sam.
Even Carly, though she didn''t say anything, looked like she totally agreed.
Cher turned to me with a raised eyebrow and a smile "Jake, we''re literally in a recording studio. You could sing now."
The others looked at me, nodding in agreement. After all, Richard was thest one scheduled to sing today¡ªthe remaining two tracks were set for tomorrow.
Pepper checked her watch and shrugged. "We''ve still got about thirty minutes left in the studio¡ªand I could extend it if needed."
It seemed like everyone wanted me to sing. The way they were all looking at me made it hard to say no.
I sighed, then smirked beneath the helmet and looked at Cher.
"Coincidentally," I said, "I have a song called ''Paris.''"
I reached up, utched the helmet, and pulled it off
Then, without saying anything else, I walked back into the booth and took my ce at the mic.
I quickly adjusted a few beats on the control panel. The original version of the song needed more prep than I had time for, so I decided to go with something more improvised.
I closed my eyes, took a breath, and began to sing
Paris (Chainsmoker)
? We were staying in Paris
To get away from your parents
And I thought
Wow, if I could take this in a shot right now
I don''t think that we could work this out?
? Out on the terrace I don''t know if it''s fair but I thought How could I let you fall by yourself While I''m wasted with someone else??
Cher blinked, clearly impressed. "Wow, I had heard he was good," she said, ncing toward Regina. "I thought you were exaggerating a bit."
"Yes, that mouth, he really knows what he''s doing," said Regina with a teasing smile.
They both giggled.
Sam and Freddie exchanged a weird look.
Carly murmured, "Is he really that good kissing?"
They both turned to her.
"What? I''m just curious," she added quickly, trying to y it off.
I stepped out of the booth again after the song, rubbing the back of my neck with a smile
---
The next day, we were back at the cafeteria¡ªme, Regina, Sam, Freddie, and Carly.
The noise of lunchtime filled the room like every other day
I took a sip of my juice and looked around the group.
"So," I said casually, "today we''re finishing thest two songs. That''llplete the first five."
I looked around. "You guysing again today?"
They all answered with a mix of nods and quick yeses.
"Wouldn''t miss it," said Regina.
"You better believe it," Sam added.
Freddie raised his hand like he was signing a contract. Carly just smiled and nodded.
That''s when Cher showed up at the table¡ªwith a stunning blonde girl walking beside her.
I barely caught myself murmuring a quiet "Wow" before I looked down at my tray, pretending to be focused on my lunch. No one seemed to notice.
Cher ced her tray down and gestured to the girl. "Laura, this is my friends."
Everyone took a second to greet her.
With a smirk, I extended my hand. "Jake. Jake Harper."
The girl smiled back warmly. "Laura. Laura Vandervoort."
"Voldemort?" Freddie blurted out before he could stop himself.
"Yeah, I thought that too," I said with a grin. "But I figured it would be a littleme to say it out loud."
"Oh, the kids'' book," Laura said with a slight sigh, apparently used to theparison.
"You don''t like Harry Potter?" I asked, astonished.
In my head, I was thinking about it. Harry Potter was already pretty famous but it was nowhere near the frenzy it would reach. The first movie hadn''t even been released yet. That storm was stilling.
"Don''t tell me you''re like Freddie, Jake." Sam jumped in. "He camped out just to buy the book that came outst year."
"Not really," I said, shaking my head. "But I did buy the book nheless."
There was no reason to wait in a huge line for a book I had already read. But... I did read it again.
"You only don''t like the book because you can''t read anything longer than two pages," Freddie shot back.
Sam turned to him immediately. "Says the guy who cried when Cedric died."
And just like that, the two of them were bickering again, picking up their usual rhythm like no time had passed.
------
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Chapter 82: Studio
Chapter 82 - Studio
Chapter 80
Sam and Freddie were still going at it, trading snarky jabs back and forth while the rest of us just watched, mildly amused.
Laura leaned toward me and whispered, "Are they together?"
Before I could respond, Sam and Freddie both shot back in unison, "No!"
Their expressions were equally offended, like the very idea had crossed some sacred line.
I caught the exchange and chuckled. "Honestly, they''ve been like this since day one. I don''t even think they realize it anymore."
Sam looked up. "We can hear you, you know."
"That''s the idea," I replied, grinning.
I turned back to Laura. "But you should try Harry Potter. It''s a nice book."
"Maybe in the future," she said with a smile. "I think I have a little trauma. Some nerds kept calling me Laura Voldemort in 7th grade. And he''s the antagonist, isn''t he?" she added jokingly.
"Yeah, but you''re way too pretty to bepared to that no-nose guy," I said with a smirk.
Carly and Sam just rolled her eyes
"By the way," I continued, shifting the conversation, "it''s kind of rare for someone to transfer now. We''re already in February¡ªmore than halfway through the school year..."
"I''m from Toronto, Canada," Laura replied. "I want to be a professional actress, and my father got a job here in L.A. So, we decided to transfer now, even if it messed with my school year a little."
"She already is," Cher cut in with a proud smile. "Laura was telling me she acted in the Goosebumps series."
"Seriously?" Carly asked, her eyes lighting up. "I used to love that show."
"Which episode?" Freddie added, interested.
Lauraughed. "It was one called ''Deep Trouble.'' I yed the lead''s sister. It was only a couple of scenes, but it was super fun. I also appeared in a few others¡ª''Say Cheese and Die Again'' and ''The Haunted Mask II.'' Mostly small parts. "
"That''s really awesome," I said, leaning forward a bit
Laura and I kept chatting for a bit, the conversation rxed and natural, before she eventually stood up.
Then she stood, politely. "Excuse me for a second, I''ll be right back."
And with that, she headed off toward the restroom.
Regina got up and went with her, the two of them disappearing down the hallway.
Cher turned to me the moment they were out of sight. "You are unbelievable, Jake."
"What?" I said, feigning innocence, raising an eyebrow like I had no idea what she meant.
Everyone at the table just stared at me,pletely unfazed.
"Really?" I looked around, waiting for at least one person to have my back.
"I think I need new friends..." I added, acting like I''d been personally wronged. "...and Laura might be the one." I smiled
Cher gave me a light jab in the ribs, shaking her head with a grin.
"What''s really unbelievable," I added, turning to her, "is you showing her around the school and introducing her to us. When did you be a goody two-shoes girl, Cher?"
"What? I''ve always been a good girl," Cher said like she was stating the obvious.
Now she was the one getting the same look I had just gotten.
Sensing that Cher didn''t want to borate, I decided to change the subject.
---
Later that afternoon, we split into two cabs on our way to the studio. Carly, Sam, and Freddie went in one; I rode in the other with Regina and Cher.
About five minutes into the ride, I leaned a little closer to Cher.
"So?" I asked, my tone casual but curious.
She raised an eyebrow. "So what?"
"You know what," I said, giving her a look. "The sudden nice-girl routine. Helping Laura. Being all... weing."
"Your songs are incredible," Cher said simply. "I know you''ll make video clips of them. I want to be in one."
I said. "You know I''d let you appear even if you hadn''t introduced me the gorgeous blonde. Regina''s going to be in one, and she didn''t lift a finger."
Regina chimed in, "I presented myself to you... and Cher."
I rolled my eyes and scoffed. "You know what I mean."
Everyone in the cab burst outughing (not the driver, though)
Cher leaned back, still grinning. "I know, Jake. But I also know you would''ve met her in no time."
I gasped, feigning offense. "You said that like I''m some kind of yboy."
Both Cher and Regina gave me the exact same deadpan look.
I leaned back in my seat, ncing out the window for a moment.
Laura obviously hadn''t been invited to hear the new songs at the studio. And as stunning as she was, there was no reason to start simping over her¡ªor to even think about revealing the Marshmello secret now (maybe in the future).
When we arrived at the studio, Pepper, Carly, Sam, and Freddie were already there, chatting and checking some of the equipment.
I headed straight to the changing room to get into the Marshmello outfit. The white hoodie, gloves, and, of course, the helmet¡ªit was all part of the persona now. Time to switch modes.
A few minutester, the door opened and our final guest arrived.
Sia Kate Isobelle stepped into the studio¡ª still not wearing her ''different'' style design. At twenty-five, she already had a presence in the music world. Last year, she had signed with Dance Pool, a subbel of Sony Music, and her debut single, "Taken for Granted," had hit number ten on the UK Singles Chart.
So, yeah¡ªshe was famous. Not everywhere famous yet.
Pepper greeted her first, then motioned to the rest of us.
I stepped out of the changing room just in time to see her offering a polite smile as she scanned the space.
She still lived in London, but made frequent trips for projects like this. And now, she was here¡ªfor our fourth and fifth track.
''Yeah'' I thought, adjusting the hoodie under the helmet, ''we decided to let her sing the two remaining songs.''
------
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Chapter 83: The Final Tracks
Chapter 83 - The Final Tracks
Sia set her bag down near the vocal booth, taking a quiet moment to look around the studio. There was a calm focus to her movements, like someone who''d done this a hundred times but still knew how to appreciate the moment.
Pepper handed her the printed lyrics, but Sia was already familiar with them. She nced at the page briefly and said, "Yeah, I''ve gone through it a few times. I actually really liked the first track¡ªTitanium. That was one of the main reasons I said yes to this project."
Pepper nodded.
Sam leaned toward me and whispered, "She''s way more chill than I expected a famous singer to be."
"British charm," I whispered back.
I turned to Carly and Freddie. "You guys ready to hear thest two?"
Carly gave a thumbs-up, and Freddie was already lifting his camera.
I stood up and walked toward the booth. Sia was adjusting her headphones when I stepped in.
She gave me a quick nod but didn''t seem bothered at all that I had the Marshmello helmet on.
"Ready?" I asked.
"Always," she said with a slight smile.
The track began, and she started to sing to sing ''Titanium'' (David Guetta ¨C feat Sia).
? You shout it out
But I can''t hear a word you say
I''m talking loud, not saying much
I''m criticized, but all your bullets ricochet
You shoot me down, but I get up?
?I''m bulletproof, nothing to lose
Fire away, fire away
Ricochet, you take your aim
Fire away, fire away
You shoot me down, but I won''t fall
I am titanium
You shoot me down, but I won''t fall
I am titanium?
?Cut me down
But it''s you who''d have further to fall
Ghost town, haunted love
Raise your voice, sticks and stones may break my bones
I''m talking loud, not saying much?
?I''m bulletproof nothing to lose
Fire away, fire away
Ricochet, you take your aim
Fire away, fire away
You shoot me down, but I won''t fall
I am titanium
You shoot me down, but I won''t fall
I am titanium
I am titanium
I am titanium?
When the final note echoed through the studio, I stepped out of the booth, and giving a small nod to Pepper.
"So?" I asked, ncing at the others.
Regina leaned forward, a thoughtful look on her face. "It''s getting harder and harder to pick a favorite of your songs..."
The others nodded in agreement.
"Seriously," Carly said. "They''re all so different but equally good."
"Yea," Sam added
I smiled beneath the helmet, then turned back toward the booth.
"Alright," I said, "let''s finish this."
I stepped back into the booth for the final track.
This time, it was "Friendzone" (Friends ¨C Marshmello)
Sia adjusted her mic again, and I gave her a nod. The beat kicked in
? Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh?
? You say you love me, I say you crazy
We''re nothing more than friends
You''re not my lover, more like a brother
I''ve known you since we were like ten, yeah?
As the track yed on with its sassy back-and-forth energy
Freddie let out a soft "What a sad song..."
Everyone turned to look at him weirdly.
The song carried on, leading to its sharp, iconic final
? Want me to spell it out for you? F-R-I-E-N-D-S
F-R-I-E-N-D-S Mmm, ooh, ooh, ooh Ah-ah-ooh-ah-ooh ?
When I stepped out of the booth, Sam was alreadyughing hard.
"Hey," she said between giggles, "you should call it ''Freddiezone''."
"shut up, Sam" Freddie shot back
I gritted my teeth. ''Yeah, it kind of brings some resemnce.''
I said "Man, I didn''t sing it because... you know..."
Freddie raised his hands quickly. "That''s okay. It''s just not my favorite song out of the ones you sang..." he added jokingly.
Carly was sitting nearby, a small conflicted expression crossing her face.
---
Not long after, everyone started packing up and heading out. Carly, Sam, Freddie, Reginaand even Pepper said their goodbyes, leaving the studio one by one.
I stayed behind. The recording wasn''t over¡ªnot really. Sometimes it took hours, even days, to get everything perfect for the final release.
By the time we wrapped up the technical clean-up and yback sessions, the sun had dipped low outside.
Pepper came back just as everything was finalized. She listened quietly to the mastered version, nodding along. When it ended, she looked at me and gave a satisfied smile.
Sia stood near the door, her bag over her shoulder.
"I really enjoyed this," she said. "Let''s maybe work on something else in the future, yeah?"
I gave her a small wave, still wearing the helmet. "I''d like that."
She smiled again before heading out into the night.
Pepper turned to me after the door closed. "I''ve already lined up a few things¡ªsome radio stations and magazines for theunch. We''ll be releasing soon."
I nodded. "You don''t have to worry about making the release perfect. After all, I n on dropping two or three songs every month."
There were so many electronic tracks I remembered¡ªno reason to hold them back.
Pepper raised an eyebrow and smiled. "I registered a bunch of the songs you gave me, and you had more than hundred before... With this much music under your name, you could release more than a dozen albums. Did you steal some unknown jukebox or something?"
"Nah, I''m just really that good," I said without blinking.
Pepper just stared at me and said nothing.
Then she cleared her throat. "Anyway, My Big Fat Greek Wedding is in advanced stages of production. Brokeback Mountain will take a bit longer to finish."
She gave me a quick nce. "Your friend Joey is doing a great job as the lead in My Big Fat Greek Wedding."
"That''s great!" I said.
I thought back to when I first told Joey about the role¡ªhow I told him to give everything he had at the auditions. Like with Paranormal Activity, I wouldn''t riskpromising a movie with the potential of My Big Fat Greek Wedding just to hand a part to a friend.
In the future, when I had more money and the studio could afford to take chances on sub-par actors, I wouldn''t mind as much. Neither would Pepper, probably. She didn''t care as long as it wasn''t a big-budget project.
------
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Chapter 84: Five-Finger Discount
Chapter 84 - Five-Finger Discount
Chapter 82
Later that weekend, I was having dinner at a fancy restaurant in downtown Los Angeles with Dad, Uncle Charlie, and Gradma.
Evelyn was studying the menu with that usual air of half-interest
She looked up from the menu and asked casually, "So, Jake, do you see anything you like?"
"Venison..." I murmured, intrigued. "Uncle Charlie, have you ever eaten a bambi?"
Charlie immediately started choking on his drink, ring at me
"What?" I said, trying to look innocent. "I mean the venison."
Before Charlie could respond, Evelyn casually started cing items from the table into her purse.
"Mom, wha...? What are you doing?" n asked, eyes widening.
"Nothing," Evelyn replied without missing a beat.
"Oh, that''s stealing," n said, voice a mix of disbelief and resignation.
"Hardly. I''m paying twelve dors for a martini," Evelyn said,pletely unfazed. "They''re lucky I don''t take a chair."
"You''re paying?" Charlie asked, eyebrows raised.
"Figure of speech, Charles," Evelyn replied with a big smile.
I just shook my head.
Grandma could be as cheap as Dad sometimes. Taking little things¡ªlike hotel soap and shampoo¡ªwas hard to understand.
We are multimillionaires...
"And listen who''s talking about me with the moral high ground, Mr. Five-Finger Discount," Evelyn added, shooting n a look.
"What does that mean?" I asked, confused.
"It doesn''t mean anything," Dad replied quickly, waving me off.
"n, there''s no reason your son can''t learn from your mistakes," Evelyn added, casually sipping her drink.
"I didn''t make a mistake, Mom," Dad said, clearly annoyed.
"Unbelievable," Gradma muttered. "Twenty-five yearster... and he still denies shoplifting"
Iughed a little.
"I didn''t do it, Jake," Dad said quickly.
"I justughed at the expression ''Five-Finger Discount''. I''m totally using that now." now that I understand the context
"And I didn''t say you did it, Dad. Your Mom, on the other hand..."
"It was a misunderstanding," Dad muttered.
"n, please," Evelyn said, unimpressed.
"Walking around a toy store... with your brother... and the Silly Putty just jumped into your pocket?"
"Yes," Dad replied.
I nced over at Uncle Charlie, who suddenly looked way too interested in the menu.
Suspicious.
But just then, the waiter arrived at our table.
"Okay, everybody ready to order?"
"I''ll have the filet mignon," I said. "But can you add a piece of the venison on the side? I want to try it."
The waiter nodded. "There will be a small additional charge."
I simply nodded in return, not bothered.
The rest of the table gave their orders, and once the waiter stepped away, Evelyn shifted the conversation entirely.
"Congrattions, Jake. Soon you''ll be one of the most popr singers in the country. I just don''t understand why you need to wear that hideous costume..."
"I already told you, Gramma. I want some good years in high school..."
Yeah, the release had been a sess. Already spreading fast in just these first days. Not unexpected, though. These were five of the biggest hits in electronic music, and the quality was absolutely on par with the originals.
Charlie raised his ss. "To our star."
We all followed, clinking our sses together with proud smiles.
We had already celebrated on release day, but this moment felt just as special.
---
The next morning, I was in the kitchen having breakfast with Dad. He was reading the newspaper, sipping his usual ck coffee, while I worked on a te of eggs and toast.
I''ve tried some fancy breakfast foods from time to time, but there are still some things you eat no matter how rich you are. Scrambled eggs on toast is one of those for me
Charlie walked in a minuteter, moving like every step was a punishment.
"Good morning," he muttered.
"Morning," I replied."Why are you walking like that?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.
"I spent the night in the bathroom," Charlie grumbled.
Dad lowered his paper. "Tell Jake what you told mest night."
Charlie sighed. "Oh, okay. Sure. Jake, your father didn''t steal the Silly Putty."
He paused, then added, "I did."
I didn''t even blink.
"You''re not surprised, Jake?" Dad asked, astonished.
"No," I said, like it was obvious. "Uncle Charlie looked way too interested in the menust night when you guys brought it up."
"And you said nothing?" Dad asked, a little annoyed.
"We had already changed the subject before I could say anything. And I wasn''t going to start using someone without knowing the whole story."
I took another bite of toast and added, "I know you can be cheap sometimes, Dad. But I also know you''re not a petty thief"
This time, Dad looked at me seriously. "Thank you, son. That means a lot."
But even after that, Dad was still visibly angry with Uncle Charlie. The two of them barely spoke that morning.
Charlie even pulled me aside at one point, looking genuinely concerned. "What can I do to fix this?" he asked.
I didn''t have a good answer. I shrugged. "I don''t really know."
So, Charlie did the only thing he could think of¡ªhe went to talk to Grandma.
---
At dinner, Dad was still not talking to Uncle Charlie
"Oh,e on, n. Talk to me," Charlie said.
"No," n replied.
"Look, I wanna make this right, but you gotta help me," Charlie said. "Please, tell me what I can do. I''m begging for your forgiveness."
"I am sorry," n said, "but you did something... which affected my life in a deeply destructive way and... I don''t think I have it in me to forgive you."
"Hello? Anybody home?" Evelyn called.
"In here, Mom," n replied.
"Well, how are my boys doing this evening?" Evelyn asked as she entered the kitchen.
"Well, I think Mommy has the answer. n... if you find it intolerable living under the same roof with the brother who betrayed you... then you and Jake cane and live with me."
I widened my eyes the moment Grandma said it
Dad looked at her for a moment... then finally turned back to Charlie.
"We''re good," n replied immediately.
------
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Chapter 85: Radio Buzz
Chapter 85 - Radio Buzz
Chapter 83
The next day, I walked into the kitchen and found Charlie already leaning on the counter, flipping through stations on the small radio tucked near the coffee maker. His face lit up when he found the one he was looking for.
"Here it is," he said, adjusting the dial. "Told you they''d y it again."
He turned the volume up slightly. Sia''svoice poured through the speakers, filling the kitchen with the familiar beat of ''Titanium.''
I grabbed a mug and poured some coffee, trying not to grin too wide
n walked in, bleary-eyed and half-awake. He stopped mid-step as he heard the song.
"Is that...?"
"Yup," Charlie said with a smirk. "Your son''s taking over the airwaves."
n blinked, then looked at me with a proud face.
The three of us exchanged silly smiles.
"By the way, don''t wait up tonight," Charlie said, pouring himself coffee.
"Pretty confident, huh?" n asked.
"Yeah," Charlie replied.
"Thus, the ''don''t wait up,''" I added, like it was obvious.
"Didn''t you meet this girl a couple of days ago?" n asked, a little surprised.
"Yup. So tonight''s the night," Charlie said proudly. "You know, the three-day rule."
"That''s the three-date rule," n corrected.
"Three dates? That''s crazy talk," Charlie said, shaking his head.
"All right. If you bring her back here, please be discreet," n added.
"Don''t worry," Charlie said with a grin. "First night''s always at her ce."
"Is that another rule?" n asked a little sarcastic
"No. It''s just amon courtesy," Charlie replied. "A woman''s more rxed andfortable in her own surroundings."
"Plus, the minute she falls asleep, I can hit the bricks," Charlie added casually.
"That''s lovely," n replied, now fully in sarcastic mode. "It''s a shame you don''t work for Hallmark."
"Oh yeah, my friends areing over today," I said, remembering suddenly.
"Who? Carly, Freddie, and Sam?" n asked with a smile
He liked the three of them. They were good kids.
"Yes, and a new friend," I added.
"Is it a pretty girl?" Charlie asked yfully.
"I hope so. Or she''s a damn pretty boy," I said, joking.
Right then, my phone started to ring. I nced at the screen and smirked.
"Speaking of the devil..."
Charlie, already catching on, leaned closer, and the two of us silently counted down on our fingers.
Five... Four... Three... two... one...
I picked up. "Hey Laura, how you doin''?"
n, watching us, looked astonished¡ªthen just scoffed.
Charlie stepped closer to him and said, "Learn something from your son."
n scoffed again.
I turned my attention back to the phone. "So your acting ss ended earlier today?" I asked.
A pause.
"Yeah, you cane here sooner."
Charlie was giving me a thumbs-up and nodding approvingly like I just closed a business deal.
"See you soon. Bye bye, Laura," I said before ending the call.
"So, Laura, huh," n said, not really sure what else to say.
"She''s a nice girl," I replied simply, smiling.
---
After a few minutes, the doorbell rang.
Laura was standing outside, headphones in her ears and an MP3 yer in hand. She was softly singing along, ? I want you to be happier. I want you to be happier. So I''ll go.?
The moment I heard it, I couldn''t help but smirk wider.
She pulled out the MP3 headphones and smiled. "Hi, Jake."
"Hey," I said, greeting her with a kiss on the cheek.
Then I turned and gestured toward the kitchen.
"Come on, let me introduce you. This is my uncle Charlie, and that''s my dad, n." I said, when we stepped into the kitchen
Both of them greeted her with a friendly "Hi, Laura."
Then I led her out to the deck, where the sky was bright blue and the temperature afortable 23 degrees¡ªeven if it waste February.
n, watching from the kitchen, murmured to himself, rethinking what he said early "I might need to learn something from my son," quietly walking back to his coffee.
Charlie, standing nearby, muttered with a hint of amusement, "Now he''s ying Super Bowl, huh," clearly impressed.
---
We sat on the deck, the breeze still gentle and the sun just right.
"So, you like Marshmello?" I asked.
"How could I not? He''s so good," she said with a wide smile.
"Even if he doesn''t sing?" I joked.
"Don''t say that" she replied yfully, knowing I was only messing around.
Yeah, with all the sudden hype, there had been some envy floating around. Some people even imed he wasn''t a real singer (as I didn''t sing any song)
"Can you believe it''s only been like a week since he released those songs?" Laura said, still amazed.
"You have no idea," I said, smiling.
The conversation went on for a while.
---
After some time, the doorbell rang again.
I opened the door and there they were¡ªCarly, Sam, and Freddie¡ªstanding just outside, already chatting among themselves.
We exchanged quick greetings.
Carly looked at me with a teasing smile. "Why the wide grin, Jake?"
"The weather''s good, life''s good..." I said, smiling right back.
The three of them exchanged nces, not understanding what I meant.
"Come on," I said, motioning toward the deck. "Let''s head outside."
I slid the door open, revealing Laura already seated with a ss of iced tea, waving politely.
Carly and Freddie smiled and walked over to greet her.
Sam, however, lingered behind, narrowing her eyes slightly as she looked at me.
"What?" I asked.
"There''s something fishy," Sam said, crossing her arms.
"Maybe it''s the ocean," I replied, pointing toward the water with a smirk.
"No, you idiot," she said, now smiling, giving me a light punch on the arm.
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Chapter 86: New Dynamics
Chapter 86 - New Dynamics
Chapter 84
Sam gave me onest skeptical nce before finally stepping out onto the deck.
I followed behind her as Carly and Freddie were already making themselvesfortable. Laura greeted them both warmly, and it didn''t take long before the four of them were in conversation.
I sat back in my chair, watching the dynamic unfold. It was interesting. Carly was naturally friendly, asking Laura about her acting sses.
Honestly, I felt lucky. I ended up with the iCarly crew¡ªlightedy teens with sarcasm and weird ideas, not some intense, angst-filled teen drama types.
Well if it had been one of those drama-heavy schools, I would''ve just transferred. No way I''d want that kind of emotional turbulence.
While Laura was still talking about her acting sses, I suddenly remembered something.
"Oh yeah, Laura. Speaking of movies¡ªone I worked on with Carly, Sam, and Freddie is premiering in two weeks"
She turned to me, eyes wide, and grabbed my arm with both hands. "You made a movie and you''re telling me this now?"
"Well, we''ve only known each other for a few days," I said with a grin. "And I kinda forgot about it."
Laura blinked, thenughed. "That''s true. But it feels like we''ve known each other way longer."
"That''s because I''m a delightful person," I said, pretending to be pompous.
Everyone around the table burst intoughter.
"Pompous person," Carly said jokingly.
"Nerdy person," Sam added right after.
The two of them nced at Freddie, waiting for his input¡ªbut he said nothing,
"Come on, Freddie," Carly nudged.
"Nah, he''s my best buddy," Freddie said, cracking a smile
I patted him lightly on the back "That''s what a friend is," I added, pointing a finger first at Carly, then at Sam.
Everyone chuckled. The mood was light and easy.
Laura smiled too. "I kinda envy the friendship you all have," she said sincerely.
"You don''t need to," I replied with a weing grin. "You''re one of us now."
"Totally," Carly added, smiling.
"Yeah, no turning back," Sam said with a smirk.
Freddie nodded with a smallugh. "Wee to the madness."
Sam nced at Laura with a curious look. "But I thought you''d be more into hanging out with Cher and Regina."
It was a fair point. While we all had lunch together sometimes, outside of school it was usually the four of us¡ªme, Carly, Sam, and Freddie. Cher and Regina had their own tastes, their own kind of vibe. Different shows, different hangouts. But I hang out with both of them from time to time
Laura just smiled. "Despite how I look, I''m not really into those shopping mall hangouts and all that. Once in a while, sure, but it''s not really my thing. I actually prefer this kind of get-together¡ªmore rxed"
Well, and you need good money to keep up with those two rich girls¡ªunless you''re okay with just watching them buy everything. And Cher and Regina can be a bit much with the gossip too, I thought. Most people enjoy a little gossip here and there, but sometimes it just gets exhausting.
Laura turned back to me suddenly. "Hey, about the movie¡ª" remembering what we were talking about
"It''s a horror film," I exined. "Carly and Sam acted in it, and Freddie was our cameraman."
"I''m not giving you any more spoilers," I added, grinning. "You''ll have to watch it yourself. Wannae with us to the premiere?" I invited her.
"You bet," Laura said with an enthusiastic nod.
"What Jake''s not telling you," Carly chimed in, "is that the whole idea was his. From the story to actually filming it."
Freddie nodded. "Yeah, he even gave input on some of the shots we used."
"Wow," Laura said impressed as she looked at me.
"But you don''t have to worry," Sam said. "The movie''s not even that scary."
Carly and Freddie exchanged nces, noticeably thinking otherwise.
The five of us kept talking through the afternoon. Laughter came easily, and so did the stories. From school moments to behind-the-scenes bits about the film, time passed quickly.
As the sky started to darken and the air cooled, I nced at the time.
"Hey, if you want, my driver can take you all home," I offered.
Carly, Sam, and Freddie looked up, surprised
"Thanks, Jake," Carly said.
They gathered their things while I coolly added, "Actually, since the car only has four seats, I''ll go with Laura right after he drops you guys off."
They nodded, no one questioning it. Once they left, I leaned back for a moment.
The car I used was one of those luxury models refitted forfort¡ªonly four seats, but the kind where the back felt more like a first-ss cabin than a regr car. I''d hired the driver a while ago. I had enough money for it already, and with the Marshmello project taking off¡ªeven though hardly anyone knew it was me¡ªit felt smart to think about safety.
Plus, having a driver gave me a lot more freedom to move around and n things without constantly calling cabs or need Uncle Charlie, Dad or Mom
Laura looked at me with a slightly suspicious smile. "The car really only has four seats?" she asked, half-joking.
"I wouldn''t lie about that," I said, grinning. "You''ll see in like 2 hours. How would I even exin myself if I was making it up?"
"I don''t know," she replied with a mock shrug, her hands behind her back and an amused smile on her face.
About two hourster, the driver returned. Laura and I got into the car, and he took her home. We talked a bit more during the ride, just easy conversation and quietughs. After I walked her to the door, we shared a small goodnight kiss. Then the driver brought me home.
Back at the house, I dropped my bag and sit onto the living room couch. I grabbed a book and started reading, enjoying the calm after a nice day.
Not long after, Uncle Charlie walked in through the front door, wearing an expression of mild disbelief, like the world had just shown him something he couldn''t quite ept
------
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Chapter 87: Dating himself
Chapter 87 - Dating himself
Chapter 85
I looked up from my book just in time to see Uncle Charlie step into the living room. He stood there for a second, his face somewhere between annoyed and baffled.
"You okay?" I asked, setting the book down. "You''re back early..." I pointed out.
He didn''t answer right away¡ªjust dropped his keys on the table with a soft clink and made his way to the kitchen, muttering something under his breath.
When he finally returned with a ss of whiskey, he flopped onto the chair across from me.
"Women, kid," he said, shaking his head, then raised his ss. "Something weird happened. I left without needing to sneak out¡ªand then I hit the brakes."
I lifted an eyebrow.
"And you?" he asked, returning the question.
"Just a few small kisses," I said nonchntly. "The deck sure helps set the mood, huh?"
Charlie smirked and nodded. "And you''re only just getting started."
---
The next day, I was having dinner with Dad in the kitchen when Charlie walked in.
"So, no date tonight?" Dad asked.
"I thought I''d just hang with you guys," Charlie replied, grabbing a beer from the fridge.
"What about that girl you''re seeing?" I asked.
"Sherri? I''m taking it slow," Charlie responded.
"Really? Do you mean at a leisurely pace... or as if you were developmentally challenged?" n asked
"Oh, aren''t you clever? Bite me". Charlie leaned against the counter. "n, most beautiful women are used to guys chasing after them. They expect it. But if you hang back and stay cool... the womene to you."
"That''s actually kinda of the truth," I said. "Hmm, Laura just texted me," I added, ncing at my phone.
Both of them red at me. Charlie looked amused.
Uncle Charlie then looked at n andpleted, "Well, not to you specifically, but you get the theory."
"Yeah, I''m not stupid," n said. "Just physically repellent... and inherently unlovable."
"Don''t get snippy with me," Charlie muttered. "I''m trying to teach you something."
His phone rang. "Hello? Oh, hey, Sherri. How''s it going?"
He turned away slightly
"Tonight? No, I''m sorry, I can''t. I''ve already got ns." he shook his head at us
"How about tomorrow night? Oh, you''ve got ns. Okay. Well, Sunday? Monday? What about Tuesday?" he continued
There was a pause.
"You know what? I''m looking at the wrong month in my date book. Tonight works. How about I pick you up at nine? Okay, I''ll meet you at eight. Antonio''s? The Oak Room it is. See you soon."
Charlie hung up.
"What just happened?" he asked aloud.
"You were ying it slow," n said sarcastically.
I just looked at him weirdly.
---
A few hourster, I was back in the kitchen, a half-eaten tub of ice cream on the table, texting again with Laura and smiling at my phone.
Dad walked in, having just finished listening to an entire song on the radio. He stood still for a moment, impressed.
"That is really good," he said with a proud smile, looking over at me.
He was referring to Marshmello''s -my- new track, "Hear Me Now." (Alok)
"d you liked it," I said, smiling back.
Just then, Uncle Charlie strolled into the kitchen.
"Hey," Charlie greeted.
"Hey," Dad and I responded.
"You''re home early," Dad noted.
Charlie grabbed my tub of ice cream from the table. "n, if you''ve got something to say, why don''t you juste out and say it?"
"Hmm... You''re home early?" Dad repeated, not fully following.
Charlie narrowed his eyes. "Yeah, that''s smart. Keep pushing me."
"Okay, Uncle Charlie, what happened?" I asked, looking at him.
He huffed but answered, "She probably just had to get up early, like she said."
"Probably. Unless her real date didn''t start untilter... and she just didn''t wanna eat alone," I said
"What?" Charlie frowned.
"Oh,e on, Uncle Charlie. Double-booking. You practically invented it."
n looked over, clearly irritated. "What are you teaching my son?"
"I''m not learning, Dad," I said unfazed. "I don''t do double-booking dates."
I might fool around, but the girls I kiss know exactly what it is. They know we''re just having a good time. And I''m totally against cheating
"No, she wouldn''t do that to me. Why would she do that to me? Did she do that to me? She did that to me, didn''t she?" Charlie said, spiraling a little.
He kept going.
"She doesn''t call when she says she will. She won''t let me sleep over. She''s obviously seeing other guys. So why can''t I get her out of my head?"
He paused, then muttered under his breath,
"She''s gorgeous, but she''s also self-centered... she''s promiscuous, she''smitment-phobic..."
He suddenly froze, eyes wide. "Oh my God."
"I''m dating myself."
n crossed his arms and snorted. "Now that''s what I call karma."
Charlie red at him in silence.
I just shook my head.
---
The next day, Uncle Charlie mentioned something about "paying it back" and went out again with Sherri. A few hourster, he returned.
Dad and I were in the living room when he walked in.
"So, how''d it go?" Dad asked.
"Great," Charlie said, feigning confidence. "I took control. I regained my self-respect. I walked out of there with my head held high."
"So, blue balls..." I murmured. "But still has balls..." I added
"Good for you. Good for you," Dad nodded. "So you''re done beating yourself up?"
"Not quite," Charlie replied.
Yeah, it wasn''t a war Uncle Charlie could win. Either way, he was going to lose something.
Omake:
Ross: "Finally, I''m not the butt of the blue balls jokes anymore"
------
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Chapter 88: Another kiss
Chapter 88 - Another kiss
Chapter 86
Two weekster, I was on the deck of Uncle Charlie''s house, kissing Laura.
Not like those soft, shy kisses we exchanged when she first came here¡ªthis was deeper, a French kiss.
The sun was dipping low, casting everything in that golden hour glow. The ocean murmured nearby, and the breeze was just cool enough to make her lean a little closer.
Inside, in the kitchen, Dad and Uncle Charlie were both watching from the window.
Charlie let out a low whistle.
"He sure knows how to score..." Charlie said
n just stared, blinking. "Should I be proud or concerned?"
Back on the deck, Laura and I were still wrapped in a kiss when the song ying on the small radio beside us faded out.
A new track began¡ªsomething with a familiar beat. I pulled back slightly. I started to hum along, then sing softly:
?Where there''s a will, there''s a way, kind of beautiful
And every night has its day, so magical
And if there''s love in this life, there''s no obstacle
That can''t be defeated?
I raised one hand like a conductor, my finger dancing in the air like I was leading an invisible orchestra. Laura opened into a wide smile, watching me, then began to hum along too, her eyes lighting up with yful delight.
?For every tyrant, a tear for the vulnerable
In every lost soul, the bones of a miracle
For every dreamer, a dream, we''re unstoppable
With something to believe in?
Yeah, I (Marshmello) released this song earlier this week¡ªWaiting For Love (Avicii).
I turned back to Laura, her eyes still shining, and pulled her into another kiss.
The doorbell rang.
Neither of us noticed.
---
Inside, n shook his head and sighed, then went to answer it.
He opened the door to find Carly, Sam, and Freddie standing there.
n smiled warmly, but a bit awkward. "Hey, Kids. Come on in."
He rubbed the back of his neck and pointed toward the deck. "Jake and Laura are out there..."
The three followed his gesture, spotting the two still kissing on the deck.
Carly murmured, "Why am I not surprised..."
"Maybe because we''ve seen something like that again, and again... and again," Sam added, a little sarcastically.
The three of themughed quietly and made their way out to the deck.
Laura was the first to notice them. She quickly pulled away from me, her cheeks flushing pink. "Hi, guys," she said, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear
I spun around, totally unfazed, half-dancing my way toward them, singing along with the new song that started ying on the radio:
?Leave excuses aside, speak out your mind, no And don''t let it slide, you''re not always right, no The things aren''t easy, so just believe me now?
I reached the entrance of the deck and gave them a wide grin. "Hey, guys."
They all replied with a normal "Hey."
Carly looked slightly speechless at me. "Do you have any shame? Like ever?"
"No, why?" I asked, tilting my head like it was a weird question
"He''s just some exhibitionist," Sam said, mocking.
"Our little Sam learned a new word," I teased back.
"I''ll show your ''little Sam''," she said, giving me a yful punch on the arm.
The four of us made our way over to where Laura was still sitting, her smile returning as we approached.
"There are snacks and drinks, feel free to take whatever," I said.
But Sam was already stuffing a piece of chocte into her mouth before I could even finish the sentence.
Once everyone had taken a seat, I nced around with a grin. "So... is everyone ready for the premiere tomorrow?"
A chorus of excited "Yeahs!" and nods came back instantly.
We spent the rest of the afternoon talking,ughing, and just enjoying the calm before the big day.
When it started getting dark, I asked again the driver to take Carly, Sam, and Freddie home. Even though Charlie and Dad both had cars in the garage with five seats, the driver still used my four-seater.
Then, when it came time to take Laura home, I did something different.
"Mind if I borrow the Mercedes?" I asked Uncle Charlie casually.
He raised an eyebrow but tossed me the keys anyway.
"Don''t scratch it," he said.
I handed the keys to the driver instead. When Laura and I were both seated inside the Mercedes, she gave me a curious nce.
"What?" I asked, noticing the look.
She tilted her head slightly, still studying me.
"The four-seater''s terrible for making-out in the back¡ªthere''s that hard center console between the seats, makes it way more ufortable," I said as I shifted toward the middle seat, settling in beside her like I was simply exining a practical matter.
Laura rolled her eyes with augh, then turned toward me, smiling. "You are... unbelievable," she said, emphasizing thest word slowly and clearly.
"Hey Jimmy, Westwood again please," I said to the driver.
Jimmy gave me a knowing smile and nodded.
James ''Jimmy'' Tong. I remember feeling weirdly disappointed when I saw his name on the r¨¦sum¨¦ during the selection process for my driver. So this world doesn''t have a Jackie Chan? I actually checked online... and yeah, no Jackie Chan.
I should check in the future if Jimmy has any desire to be an actor. Man, I really liked some Jackie''s movies. And Jimmy? He''s pretty funny.
My thoughts were broken when Laura suddenly reached for my hand. I looked down, then back up at her, just as she raised one eyebrow with a teasing smirk.
"Girl, and you were judging me..." I murmured with a grin as I leaned in to kiss her.
---
After a while, we pulled up in front of Laura''s house. I walked her to the door and gave her a soft, simple kiss goodbye¡ªjust a gentle peck.
Then I climbed back into the car, this time taking the front passenger seat.
I reached into my jacket, pulled out a small roll of cash, and handed it to Jimmy.
"Thanks, man. Sorry for the awkward moment," I said with a sheepish grin.
Jimmy smiled, but held up a hand. "This is too much. I can''t take it. You''re already paying my sry..."
He handed the cash back toward me, but I pushed it gently back into his hand.
"Take it, Jimmy. Just think of it as a bonus for working with me," I said.
I''m generous with people I like
"And besides, I know you took the longer route to get here," I added with a grin.
Jimmy chuckled, and we bumped fists.
------
A/N: I had this idea for Jimmy (Jackie Chan), but I ended up not doing it (basically forgot about it). Maybe I''ll have him star in Rush Hour and The Karate Kid.
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Chapter 89: Premiere Day
Chapter 89 - Premiere Day
Chapter 87
The day had finally arrived.
The premiere of Paranormal Activity.
Even though it was technically an indie project, the buzz around it had grown steadily¡ªespecially after Pepper worked her magic getting the right people talking.
I stood in front of the mirror, straightening my cor. ck jacket, charcoal shirt, dark jeans.
Downstairs, Dad was already pacing by the door.
"You ready?" he asked, trying not to look more excited than me.
"Yes," I replied.
Right then, the front door opened and Grandma Evelyn swept in like she owned the ce
"Hello, boys," she said with a dramatic ir.
"You look nice, Grandma," I said.
"Of course I do. I don''t dress up for just any asion," she replied, brushing invisible lint off her coat. "And while I''m still not sold on this horror movie nonsense, I wouldn''t dare miss the premiere of something I''m financially invested in."
"Five percent, Mom," Dad muttered under his breath.
"Five percent more than you contributed," she snapped, not missing a beat.
"Okay, let''s go," I said, heading for the door. Then I turned back. "And Dad, please don''t scream like you did here."
Evelyn smiled sweetly and looped her arm through his. "Don''t worry, Mommy will sit by your side again."
Dad just red at her.
Charlie and Dad went in one car, while I rode with Grandma Evelyn and Jimmy, our driver. We were making a quick stop to pick up Laura on the way.
Evelyn, seated in the front passenger seat, turned to nce back at me with a raised eyebrow. "So, how is this girl? Is she your girlfriend?"
"No, Gramma. She''s a good friend," I replied, then paused with a small smirk. "We kiss. But we''re not dating dating."
Evelyn smiled knowingly.
"Be nice with her, okay?" I added.
"I am nice," she said, a bit too emphatically.
I looked at her.
She sighed. "Don''t worry, sweetheart. Unlike your father, I trust that you''re more than smart enough."
A few minutester, we pulled up to Laura''s house.
She stepped outside, wearing a sleek dress
"Wow," I said under my breath before catching myself. "Hey."
"Hey," she replied with a smile.
"You know this is an indie horror movie, right?" I teased.
Lauraughed. "But it''s still a premiere."
I smiled and turned toward Evelyn. "Grandma, this is Laura. Laura, this is my grandmother, Evelyn."
"So you''re the girl he''s been talking about," Evelyn said, giving her a quick once-over but with a polite smile. "Nice to meet you, dear."
"Nice to meet you too," Laura replied, not missing a beat.
With introductions made, we all got back into the car and headed to the theater.
---
The cinema in downtown LA was buzzing¡ªone of the biggest venues in the city, all prepped for our debut
The marquee out front glowed with our film''s title. Inside, a red carpet had been rolled out, and rows of plush velvet chairs lined the theater. It was simple, but elegant.
Guests were starting to arrive¡ªfriends from school, a few industry folks Pepper had invited.
I stood near the entrance with Carly, Spencer, Sam, Freddie, and Laura.
"I feel like we''re at a real movie premiere," Carly said amazed.
"That''s because we are," I said, a little weirdly, turning to her
"Right... just feels surreal," Carly replied, her eyes darting around the venue, trying to take it
Cher and Regina arrived, both dressed in gowns even more morous than Laura''s.
I greeted them with a smile and raised an eyebrow. It was the same question I''d asked Laura earlier. "You all know this is an indie horror movie, right?"
They both answered in unison, "But it''s still a premiere."
I shake my head and stepped aside to mutter to Freddie. "Did you get what I asked?"
Freddie nodded and handed me apact camera with an infrared mode. "Yeah. What exactly are you nning?"
"Obviously, I''m going to leave it filming their reactions," I whispered back, subtly gesturing toward Cher and Regina with my eyes.
---
We all filed into the theater and found our seats. I ended up between Carly and Laura.
As the lights dimmed, Laura leaned in and whispered in my ear, "I really want to watch the movie."
"What?" I said, caught off guard.
Laura gave me a knowing look.
I asked, "Do you think I would want a make-out session during my premiere?"
She just nced back at me¡ªsilent, steady.
"Okay, fine..." I muttered, letting out a half-defeated smile as I leaned back in my seat.
---
The theater settled into silence as the opening scene of Paranormal Activity flickered to life on the big screen.
It started slow, with quiet shots and subtle tension. But the first jump scare hit hard¡ªand the reaction was immediate.
A collective gasp erupted, followed by nervousughter. Some people clutched the armrest.
Terrance, you''re going to break the chair, I thought, watching how tightly he gripped the armrest.
I nced down the row toward Cher and Regina¡ªboth frozen in ce. Cher''s eyes were wide, and Regina had her hand halfway covering her mouth.
Perfect.
The camera I''d set up was definitely earning its keep.
By the halfway mark of the movie, Laura was already clinging to my arm. Even Carly grabbed onto me from time to time.
I leaned slightly toward Carly and whispered, "You were part of the film... and you''ve already seen it once."
She shot me a wide-eyed look. "Still scary," she whispered back.
I chuckled and murmured, "I didn''t even need to tell my dad not to scream like a little girl... people are already doing it"
---
As the movie reached its final stretch, the tension reached a peak. The entire audience was locked in¡ªsilent, breath held, eyes wide.
After the final, only a few gasps escaped at first, barely audible over the theater
Then came the nervousughter, the whispered "oh my gods."
It took a long moment before the apuse finally broke out.
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Chapter 90: The Marketing
Chapter 90 - The Marketing
Chapter 88
The next day, we all gathered at Carly''s house.
Carly, Freddie, Sam, Cher, Regina, Spencer, Laura, and I were spread out across the living room, still buzzing from the sess of the premiere.
In my hands, I held a DVD.
"Alright, guys," I said with a grin, "let''s see something funny."
I walked over and slid the disc into the DVD yer.
The night before, I had handed the night-vision camera over to Pepper. She made sure it got to someone reliable¡ªwho knew how to edit it.
What we were about to watch was the final product: a highlight reel of the best¡ªand worst¡ªreactions from the premiere audience.
The video started with a grainy, night-vision shot of Cher and Regina whispering andughing in their seats. Behind them, you could see Carly, Laura, and me sitting quietly, waiting for the movie to begin.
Then, the video cut sharply to the first scare.
Cher jolted in her seat andunched a handful of popcorn into the air, some of it raining down on herp.
Another cut¡ªthis time Regina screamed, her hands flying up instinctively.
The next shot showed Laura clinging to me with her eyes tightly shut. In the same frame, Cher and Regina were doing the exact same thing, holding on to each other. And notably, there wasn''t a single bag of popcorn visible anymore.
By the end of the video, the room was filled withughter. Everyone was cracking up¡ªexcept Cher and Regina, who wereughing too, but with a hint of embarrassment.
As the credits of the reel rolled, all three¡ªCher, Regina, and Laura¡ªyfully started pinching me from both sides, giggling.
"Payback," Laura whispered, still smiling.
"So, what do you think?" I asked, still grinning. "You two were bugging me for not inviting you to the filming... how about I make this part of the movie''s marketing?"
The three of them froze, looking astonished¡ªand just a little conflicted.
I thought to myself¡ªit''s a little embarrassing, sure, but nothing bad. And they''d be seen in actual TVmercials for the film. That''s not something most people get.
"Think about it," I added. "I don''t want you three feeling ufortable, so take your time."
"For me, it''s good," Laura said quickly. She was an actress¡ªthis kind of thing was nothing to her.
"I want to cut some of my bad side," Cher said.
"It''s a static camera," Freddie murmured. "There is no other side..."
"And I want a bag aspensation," Regina added, arms crossed but smirking.
"Okay," I said with a shrug.
"A Louis Vuitton bag," Regina specified.
"Still okay..." I replied, trying not tough.
Everyone turned to look at me, stunned¡ªeveryone except Freddie.
"You do realize a Louis Vuitton bag can cost three to four grand, right?" Laura said, raising an eyebrow.
"Wow," Freddie murmured.
"Yes," I said calmly. "I can give you three¡ªone each. Oh, and Carly too, since she''s in the footage as well."
"How about me?" Sam chimed in.
"You''re not in the footage," I said. "And you want a Louis Vuitton bag?"
"No," Sam said with a grin. "I want mine in snacks."
"I''ll think about it," I reply to Sam
Then I turned to the four who were actually in the footage. "Tomorrow we''ll meet with the person who edited this. Feel free to cut anything you''re notfortable with. We can make alternate edits too if needed."
Cher, Regina, and Laura immediately lit up with excitement, already talking about which moments they''d keep or maybe tweak just a little. Only Carly stayed rxed, her expression indifferent as she leaned back on the couch.
Meanwhile, Cher and Regina were not only excited about the marketing idea, but also practically glowing at the thought of scoring a brand-new Louis Vuitton bag.
---
That week at school, Sam had developed her own brand of post-premiere mischief.
She took great joy in sneaking up behind the boys who had attended the screening and whispering a simple, but sharp "boo."
The result sometimes was small jumps, wide eyes, and asional yelp. It was a totally siedy.
"Sam, seriously," Freddie groaned after watching her startle yet another sophomore.
"What? I''m just keeping the hype alive," she said with a wicked grin.
---
After a few more days, the film was officially released to the general public.
Unlike the original release, weunched in 1,000 theaters right from the start.
The first week''s box office was an undeniable realization, grossing $14.5 million. Thanks to our marketing and month-to-month sess
Critics, however, were mixed.
Many praised the film for its ability to create genuine suspense and fear using the found-footage format. The use of timepsed footage, particrly of the couple asleep, was noted as a unique and effective way to build tension. Some reviewers, like those at The Guardian, also apuded the naturalistic acting.
But others weren''t so generous, citingunrealistic character motivations and repetitive jump scares in subsequent installments
Still, it didn''t matter much. What mattered was that we were making money.
---
A few dayster, I was in the office with Pepper, going over the next steps.
"We''re going to increase the number of theaters showing Paranormal Activity," she said confidently. "Our team estimates that with this expansion and the uing worldwide release revenue, we could surpass $120 millionter this April."
I just nodded, not really knowing what to say.
Pepper continued, "My Big Fat Greek Wedding has already wrapped and is now in post-production. We''re nning to release it in June. And Brokeback Mountain should be ready for July."
She tapped her pen against the desk, then added, "Lost in Trantion is looking like a September release. And with Paranormal Activity''s sess, we can move forward with the other horror projects¡ªThe Conjuring and Annabelle. Both will be significantly more expensive than Paranormal."
Then Pepper shifted topics. "Now, about Marshmello. I''ve already secured the deal with singer Ellie Goulding. For the second one, we''re in advanced negotiations."
"Good," I said
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Chapter 91: Momentum
Chapter 91 - Momentum
Chapter 89
Ellie Goulding was older than I remembered from my past life. She was already 20 years old.
She had some fame¡ªsure, a few songs floating around¡ªbut nothing that had fullyunched her into stardom just yet.
I wasn''t surprised she epted so quickly.
Then I turned to Pepper and asked, "So... Jennifer Lopez is really going to say yes?"
"Yes. Marshmello''s momentum is incredible," Pepper said without hesitation. "You''re the singer of the moment. Your songs might not attract the older audience as much, but you''re starting to dominate the younger generation. You have no idea how many offers I get every single day."
She paused for a beat and then added, "And she liked the song."
Well, On the Floor is a nice track. Not even close to one of my favorites, but it worked really wellmercially.
"She''ll be the first singer I coborate with who''s really at the top of global music right now," I said, still a little surprised by it myself.
Pepper nodded. "I wanted someone like her after hearing your first five songs. But after I saw the public''s reaction, I decided it was better to wait a bit longer. The negotiations with Jennifer Lopez are now more bnced..."
"Yeah," I said. I had agreed with Pepper when she changed her mind. We weren''t in a rush for stardom. No need to negotiate a one-sided contract.
---
After the meeting, I headed back to Uncle Charlie''s house.
Later that evening, I was sitting on the couch reading a book when the doorbell rang.
n went to answer it.
Momentster, I heard his voice: "Mom?"
I nced toward the door and called out, "Hi, Grandma."
n stepped away to get Charlie, leaving Evelyn to walk into the living room and sit beside me.
I set the book aside and turned to her. "So Grandma, do you like horror movies now?"
She gave me the same smirk I usually wore. "No. I still think they''re nonsense. But topping the weekly box office and earning that much money in just a few days... that part I like very much."
She leaned back with a grin. "Grandma just wants to know when she can brag to her friends about her incredible grandson. Movie and songs topping the charts..."
"In a few years, Grandma," I replied with a soft smile. "I still like my peaceful life."
She nodded in understanding, then shifted topics with a glint in her eye.
"Your Uncle Charlie thinks I don''t see him... but Grandmommy sees everything."
Charlie and n walked back in from the deck, Charlie spreading his arms and saying, "Mom, we didn''t expect to see you today."
"I have toe unannounced," Evelyn replied. "Because when I call first, there''s no one home when I get here."
She gave a meaningful look as she added, "I imagine that''s only because my cowardly sons are trying to avoid me."
"Well, the important thing is we''re all here, and we''re happy to see you," n said, trying to smooth over the awkward moment."Right, Charlie?"
"Oh, happy isn''t the word," Charlie murmured.
"So, what''s new, Mom?" n asked.
"Well, if you really care..."
"We do, we do," n said quickly, nudging Charlie.
"We do," Charlie echoed.
Evelyn ced a hand on my shoulder. "Besides the old news that the only Harper who makes me proud is this one," she said, nodding toward me, "next Sunday, I''m receiving my gold zer from the Westside Realtor''s Association."
"I''m so proud of you," I said sincerely.
"That''s great," n added.
"Me too, Mom," Charlie chimed in.
"It''s the highest honor the real estatemunity can bestow," Evelyn dered proudly.
"I''m so proud of you," n said copying me.
"That''s great," Charlie echoed.
"So I wanted to talk to you about the presentation ceremony," Evelyn continued.
"We''ll be there," n assured her. "Just tell us where and when."
"Well, next Sunday at 5:00. And I was hoping we could have it here."
"Here?" n blinked.
"Why here?" Charlie added.
"I mean, we love and respect you..." n began.
"But why here?" Charlie repeated.
"This isn''t really a good house for parties," n offered.
"Yeah, it''s so big and close to the ocean," Charlie said sarcastically.
"Come on. I can''t very well throw a party for myself," Evelyn said. "This way, everyone will get to see how much my sons love and respect me."
She handed over a list. "Anyway, here is the guest list and also a suggested menu. Nothing fancy. Cocktails, buffet.Any questions?"
"No," n, Charlie, and I said in unison.
"Good. Big kiss. Love you all," Grandma said as she headed for the door.
"Love you too, Mom," n said.
"Bye, Grandma," I added.
Charlie was still too stunned to say anything, standing there in silence as the door closed behind her.
As I started to get up, I said, "I''ll go meet Laura soo¡ª"
n ced a hand on my shoulder. "Oh no, you''re in this with us."
Charlie, recovering just enough to join in, ced a hand on my other shoulder. "Yeah, our little proud Harper."
---
The three of us sat on the couch in a quiet moment of reluctant solidarity.
"Now, what about this stupid party?" Charlie muttered.
"Here. Maybe this''ll help," Berta said as she walked in, having overheard everything. She handed Charlie a business card.
"Daisy''s Fishing Tackle and Live Bait?" Charlie read, eyebrows raised.
"Turn it over," Berta replied.
"Daisy''s ssy Catering," n read from the back.
"She''s my sister. Her husband left. I''m trying to get her back on her feet," Berta exined.
"She runs a catering business and a bait shop?" n asked.
"Not at the same time," Berta deadpanned, then turned and headed toward the kitchen without another word.
I grabbed the card from Charlie''s hand and tossed it into the trash.
"Hey!" Charlie and n protested at the same time.
"Are you two kidding?" I said, looking between them. "That''s Berta''s rtive. The chance we run into trouble is already high. And the chance Grandma hates it? Even higher."
"I''ll call someone who actually knows how to handle parties," I said, pulling out my phone.
"Who?" both n and Charlie asked in unison.
I made a small gesture for them to wait as I dialed. "Hi, Regina, how are you? I need your help..."
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Chapter 92: Party Planners
Chapter 92 - Party nners
Chapter 90
Regina, Cher, and Laura showed up at the house less than an hourter.
"Hi Jake, I brought reinforcements," Regina said brightly, gesturing to Cher and Laura.
Laura chuckled. "I think she means Cher. I don''t have much knowledge when ites to fancy parties..."
"Hey, girls," I greeted them with a smile. "Come on in¡ªjoin my uncle and dad on the couch. They''ve been waiting for backup."
Everyone settled on the couch, making room as I pulled out the guest list and a printed copy of the suggested menu Grandma had given us. I handed them over to Regina, who immediately began scanning the pages with sharp eyes.
"So it''s a party for around 45 people... pretty manageable," she said, ncing over the guest list.
"Your grandma has good taste," she added, nodding approvingly at the menu.
n and Charlie exchanged nces.
"Well, I think I know what kind of party your grandma wants," Cher said thoughtfully.
Regina nodded. "She wants it to be a step above everyone else''s on the list, but without going overboard."
Charlie blinked, clearly not getting it.
I leaned over and rified with a smirk, "Grandma wants to show she''s the superior one¡ªjust with a touch of fake humbleness."
I continued, "She doesn''t want an over-the-top party that makes the guests feel intimidated and start whispering about how stuck-up she is. She wants something that quietly says she''s above them. Envy¡ªbut not too much envy."
"Yes, that feels like our mother..." n and Charlie said at the same time, both nodding knowingly.
After a while, Regina finally said, "I got the food service."
"I got the party decoration," Cher added right after, confidently.
"Party decoration?" Uncle Charlie asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Yes," Cher replied. "We need everything to resemble her. It''s her party. She needs to be the center of attention."
She continued, "So we''re going to put arge photo of your mom right here in the living room, and scatter some pictures of her with you two around the house¡ªshowing what a wonderful mother she is."
n and Charlie exchanged nces again.
"You do have a photo with her, right?" Cher asked, arching an eyebrow.
"Well..." Charlie said, trying to remember.
"I might have one in one of those boxes," n added thoughtfully.
---
The day of the party arrived, and the house had been transformed. Everything was in ce¡ªsubtle lighting, elegant drapery, beautifully arranged tables, and soft ssical music ying in the background. The air smelled faintly of fresh flowers and expensive candles.
Charlie walked up to me, ncing around at the impable setup. "Your friends really know what they''re doing," he said, visibly impressed.
I smiled, watching as Regina gave instructions near the catering table and Cher adjusted a centerpiece like it was a fashion essory. Laura was greeting guests at the door like she''d been born for it.
"Yeah," I said.
Soon enough, it was my turn to help with the greetings. I stepped beside Laura at the door, straightened my shirt, and offered a practiced smile to the arriving guests.
"Jake. Jake Harper," I said smoothly, shaking hands as people entered, doing my best impression of someone who had been hosting formal parties for years.
That was, until one man stepped forward with a wide grin and offered his hand.
"Phil. Phil Dunphy."
I blinked for a moment, caught slightly off guard by the name, but quickly recovered and shook his hand politely.
Inwardly, I couldn''t help but think, Now it''s Modern Family? Isn''t it getting a little crowded in here?
I remembered watching a few seasons of that show. They''re a funny family, I thought. I wouldn''t mind hanging around them. But the thing is, I''m not some creepy who would stalk them just to show up out of nowhere and try to insert myself into their lives. They''re funny¡ªbut not worth lowering myself like that.
The gay couple are good, but one of them is way too much of a drama queen for my taste. Jay and Gloria would probably be the best to hang with¡ªJay''s blunt, and Gloria''s chaos is entertaining. ire would be fun just to annoy her. Then there are two dumb kids, a grampa kid, and one who thinks way too highly of herself.
Haley Dunphy is cute, yes. But that''s it. Not a single standout quality. Poprity? High school poprity... not worth much. But still, I wouldn''t mind kissing her, to be honest.
Yeah, if they crossed my path, I wouldn''t object to interacting with them. But I wouldn''t force it or make any effort to make that happen.
Not worth it.
Laura suddenly appeared beside me, snapping me out of my thoughts. "What are you thinking so deeply about?"
"About you," I replied without blinking.
Lauraughed. "Don''t you have any shame lying like that?" she said, yfully pping my arm.
"How do you know it''s a lie?" I asked.
"Woman''s intuition," she replied with a smirk.
"Now you''re the one bullshitting me..." I said
Just then, Evelyn appeared, walking in with n by her side.
---
That night, n, Charlie, and I were sitting on the couch while Evelyn stood in front of us, wearing a radiant smile.
"I need to say, I wasn''t expecting much... but you really surprised me," she began.
"The photos, what a brilliant idea! You should''ve seen Jenna''s face. And when I received that beautiful bouquet of flowers? Did you see Elena''s reaction?"
She continued like that for a while, her voice full of praise (her mouth, however, dripped with poison), before finally saying her goodbyes¡ªstill smiling and tossing outpliments on her way to the door.
"I don''t think our mother deserved that much..." n said quietly.
"Yeah, it''s like we just did a good deed for Satan," Charlie added.
"Did you two prefer her being angry instead?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.
They both thought for a second and said, "Definitely not!"
"If you don''t have many options, just pick the lesser evil," I murmured
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Chapter 93: The Call III
Chapter 93 - The Call III
The day after, I picked up my phone and called Missy.
"Hey," I said as soon as she picked up. "So, what did you think of the movie?"
There was a short pause before she replied, "Okay, first of all¡ªmy parents didn''t want me to go see it just because it was a horror movie. My mom said something about ''sphemy'' and ''demons'' and refused toe."
"So how did you see it?"
"I convinced my brothers to go with me," she said proudly.
Missy didn''t need to convince Georgie to go with her, nor did she need a fake ID. Paranormal Activity was rated PG-13¡ªanother great move by Pepper. The original, if I remember correctly, was rated R for excessive foulnguage.
I chuckled. "So, that''s a good thing, right?"
"It was terrifying! But yeah, I loved it," she said. "I can''t believe you didn''t warn me properly. And don''t think I didn''t notice your name in the credits."
Iughed. "And what about that video camera I sent you?"
Missy lit up. "I set it up right in front of us. I watched the footage after¡ªit''s hrious. Sheldon was screaming like a little girl, and even Georgie made some funny faces. I''m totally using it against them."
She continued, "There was this one part in the movie where Sheldon kept muttering, ''This is not real, this is not real,'' and ''That''s not physically possible''¡ªbut he was still clearly terrified."
Iughed. "Just don''t go overboard."
We chatted a bit more before saying our goodbyes.
After the call, I started pressing through my Nokia 3310 buttons to browse my contacts. When I passed Tori''s name, I paused for a moment. We''d grown a bit distant after she and her family moved to Europe¡ªthanks to her dad''s job. Then I kept tapping and saw another name: Paige Swanson. Yeah, I hadn''t talked to her since my birthday...
Rory¡ªnever called her. Mandy (Barbados)¡ªnever called her. Joanie?? Why do I even have her in my contacts? And how does a nine-year-old even have a phone?
Oh yeah¡ªher mom was absolutely nuts.
Next up: Josh ''Butt guy''. Should I tell him to go see the movie?
...Nah.
Then came Aunt Rachel.
I tapped the call button and brought the phone to my ear, listening to the dial tone as it rang.
"Hi, Rach," I said when she answered.
"Hello, Jake," she replied warmly. "I was just thinking about calling you. Just a moment..."
I could hear her calling out in the background, rounding everyone up.
A few secondster, I heard a chorus of four different voices calling out "Hi, Jake!" from the other end of the line.
"So," I said with a grin, "who was the one that screamed like a little girl during the movie?"
"Ross!" I heard them all say in unison from the other end of the line.
"Oh man, I thought it would be Chandler. Lost that bet with my uncle," I said.
I heard an indignant "Hey!" in Chandler''s unmistakable voice from the other end.
"But he did embrace me pretty tightly," Monica added with augh.
A second, even more indignant "Hey!" from Chandler followed.
"It was a pretty scary movie," Rachel chimed in.
"No it was not," Ross said defensively.
"Even Jake is making a deadpan face now, Ross," Chandler added.
"Yeah, but what was more scary was watching it next to Phoebe," Monica said. "She justughed through half the movie..."
"It was funny that possession part," Phoebe added casually.
"Oh, I almost forgot," Rachel said suddenly. "We made a bet about the movie too."
"Oww," I muttered.
"It was more about the movie marketing clip¡ªthe one you''re in," she exined.
"Okay..." I said, a bit wary.
"We bet on how many of the four girls in the clip you''ve kissed," Rachel continued.
"What??" I said, genuinely surprised.
"Who said I kissed anyone there?" I added, feigning indignance.
"I bet just one," Ross chimed in.
"That''s way too little, Dino Dad," I shot back.
Everyone burst outughing.
"Oh, now I understand why Monica called me earlier this week acting all suspicious, fishing for gossip..." I said with mock realization.
"Really, Monica?" Rachel said, exasperated.
"She loves to win..." Chandler added.
"I bet two of them," Phoebe uttered cheerfully.
"I bet all of them," Monica dered confidently.
"Chandler and I bet three," Rachel added, "but different girls."
"You two got the correct answer," I said. "I didn''t kiss the one with the more Asian look. She''s one of my best friends..."
"YESSS!" Chandler shouted. "I win!"
"Damn Jake, go kiss her!" Monica said, frustrated.
"You''re really making the most of high school," Rachel said with a chuckle.
"By the way," Monica jumped in, "we''re going to VEGAS!"
The rest of the group cheered in excitement.
"Now that Joey''s filming is wrapped up¡ªit was shot in Toronto and Chicago¡ªhe said he''s spending some time in Las Vegas. We''re going there to surprise him!"
"Nice!" I said.
"And after that, we might swing by to visit you in L.A.," Monica added.
"Noiceee," I grinned.
"Just call me, I''ll prepare something cool," I added.
After chatting a bit more with each of them, I finally said my goodbyes and hung up.
"Las Vegas," I murmured to myself.
"Was there any Friends episode set there?" I wondered, thinking back. "Well, the timeline''s already a mess... and with all my interference, things might''ve shifted even more."
Just then, my phone rang again. It was Carly.
"Hello, Carly, what''s up?" I answered.
"There''s something I need to tell you," she said. "Can youe over?"
"Okay, I''ll be there in an hour," I replied.
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Chapter 94: The secret
Chapter 94 - The secret
It was early evening at Carly''s house.
"Freddie," Carly called but he didn''t answer, so she sted pressurized air at his hair.
"Ahh," Freddie flinched.
"Why so jumpy?" she asked.
"''Cause you sted me in the head with pressurized air," he replied.
"I was here, I know what happened," Carly said, rolling her eyes.
"So, how''d Sam do at the dentist? Did she bite him?" Freddie guessed.
"Four times. He may lose part of his finger. But then, the dentist gave her some of that wacky gas," Carly said.
"Nitrous oxide?"
"Mm-hmm."
"And then... what?"
"Oh, she started saying some pretty weird stuff," Carly exined.
"Weird how?"
"Like, she thought her thumb was missing."
"Was it?"
"No," she eximed. "And then..., she said you two kissed."
"So she really thought her thumb was missing? That''s so crazy," Freddie said, halfughing, half-awkward.
Carly looked at him, astonished. "And she said you two kissed." She repeated
"I''min'', mom," Freddie said quickly, stepping away.
"Your mom didn''t call you."
"I heard the whistle."
Carly folded her arms. "Is what Sam said true?"
"No," Freddie replied. "I''m sure she has both her thumbs," he added.
"Did you and Sam kiss?"
Freddie yelped, startled. "Agh!"
"Tell me," Carly demanded, jumping at Freddie.
"No."
"Whoa. When did you get so strong?" she asked, surprised, when Freddie managed to flip her over and end up on top.
"Same time the voice got lower," Freddie said with a shrug.
Carly narrowed her eyes. "Did you and Sam kiss?"
Freddie sighed. "Okay. Yes, it''s true. Sam and I kissed."
"Oh my God," Carly gasped.
"I was bummed about never kissing anyone. She asked me to talk to her in school on that day, she said it was true that she never kissed anyone either, and then we ended up kissing," Freddie exined.
"Oh my God," Carly repeated.
"It was just one time," he said quickly.
Just then, the front door opened and Sam walked in, holding a bag of snacks.
"Hey nerds," she greeted casually, tossing the bag onto the table.
Freddie''s eyes widened. Carly turned to face her.
"Hey, Sam... feeling better?" Carly asked carefully.
"Yeah, the gas wore off. Mostly," Sam replied, flopping down into the armchair.
There was an awkward pause. Sam looked between the two of them.
"Did I say something dumb while I was loopy?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.
"You said we kissed," Freddie muttered.
"Oh," Sam blinked and turned pale.
---
After all the conversations, Carly said, "We need to tell Jake too."
"Okay," both Sam and Freddie replied at the same time.
"Hey, why did you agree so easily?" Carly asked, astonished and a little annoyed.
"Well, he''s our friend. My best guy friend," Freddie said.
"Yeah, mine too," Sam agreed.
"I''ll call him," Carly muttered, still a bit frustrated.
---
I walked into Carly''s house. "How''s my golden trio doing?"
They greeted me, but Carly didn''t waste a second.
"Sam and Freddie kissed."
My face stayed nk. Not the reaction they were expecting.
"So... who told Carly?" I asked casually.
"You knew??" the three of them shouted in sync.
"Yeah," I said, cool as ever.
"How??" they all asked.
"No, no, no. I asked first."
Carly sighed. "Okay. I took Sam to the dentist. She was under some rxing gas and... she confessed."
"So you only know that they kissed?"
"Yeah!?" Carly eximed, like there couldn''t be more to it.
"That''s gold," I said, slowly stepping backward. "So they didn''t tell you about the fluffy conversation before the kiss?"
The golden trio turned pale. Especially Sam and Freddie.
I put a hand on my heart. "I was there. With Cher. I heard everything," I said, making a face like I just saw something ridiculously cute.
I burst intoughter and started running.
"You''re dead, Jake! Come here!!" Sam screamed.
Even Freddie was shouting as they chased me.
---
After a few minutes of ying tag, we were back at Carly''s ce.
"Now I need to hear it," Carly said firmly.
"No!" both Sam and Freddie yelled.
Carly turned to Sam. "What did we say about no more secrets?"
Sam and Freddie exchanged nces, then both let out a sigh.
"Fine," Sam muttered.
So they told Carly everything. From the awkward conversation to the spontaneous, awkward first kiss.
"Ann," Carly said, grinning.
"That is gross, Carly," Sam replied with a groan, throwing a pillow at her.
Carly turned to me. "You never told me. Why?"
I shrugged with a half-smile. "It wasn''t mine to tell. Figured it woulde out when it needed to."
"I told Cher not to tell anyone too."
Suddenly, Sam banged the table, startling all of us.
"Now I understand why Cher sometimes looks with that smug bastard smile to me," she muttered.
"Cher smiles like that all the time..." I said, then paused with a grin. "But with you, it''s totally because of the kiss." I could barely hold back augh.
Carly couldn''t hold it in and burst outughing.
Sam immediately grabbed another pillow and threw it at her.
"Speaking of secrets," I said, leaning back a bit, "I think it''s time I tell Laura about Marshmello."
The three of them turned to look at me.
"So you two are dating dating?" Carly asked, tilting her head.
"Not really. We''re kissing, kissing," I said with a pause, then added with a smug face, "and kissing."
Now it was Carly who grabbed the pillows that had been thrown at her earlier¡ªandunched them straight at me.
Freddie raised an eyebrow. "When do you think you''ll tell her?"
"This week," I said. "I''ve got two more songs to record, so it feels like the right moment."
That got all three of them excited.
"New songs?" Carly asked, lighting up.
"Yeap," I said with a nod. "And I''m thinking of bringing her too, like all of you." I looked around at them. Cher, Regina, Carly, Sam, and Freddie had never missed a Marshmello recording session.
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Chapter 95: Recording Reveal
Chapter 95 - Recording Reveal
Laura and I were on the deck at Charlie''s house, locked in a long, lingering kiss.
She pulled back slightly, just enough to look me in the eye. Her cheeks were flushed, her smile soft.
"So, today it''s only the two of us?" Laura asked, tilting her head.
"What? I''m not enough?" I replied, pretending to be offended, a yful smirk tugging at my lips.
Lauraughed softly and rested her head on my shoulder. "You''re more than enough. I was just surprised, that''s all. I''ve gotten used to our entourage."
"Me too. I love them," I said, soundingpletely innocent. "But they gave me those annoyed eyes when I try to kiss you deeply..."
"You are so shameless, Jake," Laura said, a little speechless. "And that only happened two times," Laura added, exining it like she was defending herself.
"I was just joking. One time was just to annoy Carly¡ªshe was too chill that day. The other, I wanted to see you blush a little."
Despite how it might seem, I''m actually against over-the-top public disys of affection. I know how ufortable that can be for others. Most of the times they caught me kissing Laura or other girl, we were tucked away somewhere a bit more hidden.
I even bought another car¡ªa modified Rolls-Royce with a divider between the passenger and driver seats. Pepper had one like that too, and it really came in handy for privacy.
Uncle Charlie ended up buying part of the adjacent lot and expanded the garage. Now it fits up to eight carsfortably.
I have two cars, n has two, and¡ªsurprisingly¡ªUncle Charlie just has one.
He''ll probably buy another one soon.
Later, we both settled into the beach chairs on the deck. Laura curled up on myp. She was clicking through her MP3 yer¡ªthe one with the tiny Marshmello keychain dangling from it, gently swaying with each of her movements.
"Happier, Friendzone, Alone, Faded, Titanium, Hear Me Now, Waiting for Love... and now Summer," she said, listing the tracks one by one.
She looked up at me with a soft smile. "Every time, it gets harder to choose my favorite."
"Now that you mentioned it," I said, shifting slightly in the chair, "I have a secret to tell you."
Laura looked at me, raising an eyebrow. "If it''s that Freddie and Sam kissed, I already know."
"How? Did Cher tell you?" I asked, a little surprised.
"No, she knew too?" Laura replied. "I overheard them talking about it. I mean, they''re not exactly the most discreet when ites to whispering things."
"And you''re telling me?" I asked.
"I''m 100% sure you already knew. And I don''t see what the big deal is..."
"I know. But they..."
Laura rolled her eyes and smiled at me. "I know. I wouldn''t tell anyone else."
I leaned in and gave her a quick kiss. Just a small one.
But as I felt her begin to deepen it, I gently pulled back and grinned. "Nope, I didn''t tell the secret yet."
Laura adjusted herself, sitting more upright in myp. "This must be good¡ªfor you to postpone a make-out session."
"It is," I said, meeting her gaze.
Then I looked her in the eyes. "I''m Marshmello."
Laura blinked, then burst outughing. "Really? How can you lie like that without even blinking?"
I smiled and simply said, "I''m telling the truth, Laura. I''m Marshmello."
Laura continuedughing, but then looked at me with an amused, suspicious smile. "Really, what is your game, Jake?" she asked. "Make out? Not that you couldn''t initiate that whenever. Try to be funny? But you wouldn''t say it twice." she paused, then continued, "A prank? But you''re not really that kind of a person."
I spoke a bit more seriously now, though the smirk never left my face. "I''m Marshmello."
Laura stoppedughing and took a breath. This time, she just gave a half-smile. "You''re not joking, are you?" she said, trying to process it.
I simply shook my head.
She paled a little, then looked deep into my eyes and stayed there for a moment. "Wait... no way. No. Freaking. Way," she whispered.
Then she let out a small scream. "You are thefuckingMarshmello?!"
"Wow, you said a bad word," I teased, raising an eyebrow.
"I''m hyperventting here, and you still have the gall to joke?" she said, a little annoyed.
I leaned in and pulled her into a kiss. At first, she turned her face away, still caught in her whirlwind of emotions¡ªbut then, she eased and kissed me back. We stayed like that for a while, letting the moment speak for itself.
Eventually, we pulled apart. Laura rested her head on my shoulder again, her fingers lightly brushing the MP3 yer still in her hand. The little Marshmello charm swayed gently.
"I still can''t believe this is you," she said with a smile, ncing at the charm before pressing y.
---
Laura and I were on our way back to her house, riding in my new Rolls-Royce. Jimmy was driving, as usual, and had already raised the divider between the front and back seats, giving usplete privacy.
"You''re the number #1 singer in the U.S..." Laura said, shaking her head.
"Nah," I replied, leaning back. "There''s still a lot to conquer to be the number one¡ªeven if the momentum is mine."
I smirked and added, "Especially considering I haven''t even sung yet."
Laura''s eyes widened. "That''s true. I forgot about that. I saw you singing, and you were really good. Why aren''t you singing?"
"For the same reason I''m using an identity like Marshmello," I replied. "I don''t want to be too famous. Not right now."
"You are unbelievable, Jake," Laura said.
I looked at her and chuckled. "This time, that line felt a little different."
"Ah, almost forgot," I said, turning slightly toward her. "Another reason I told you I''m Marshmello¡ªwas to invite you to my next recording session. I''m working on two new tracks this week. Want toe?"
Laura lost her cool for the second time that day. "What??"
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Chapter 96: Info Dumping
Chapter 96 - Info Dumping
A few dayster, the recording session with Ellie Goulding finally happened.
Everyone was gathered in the studio lounge, watching through the ss as Marshmello and Ellie stood inside the recording booth. The room was dimly lit, focused entirely on the two figures behind the soundproof wall.
Ellie adjusted her headphones and gave a small nod to the producer. Then, as the track began to y, her voice floated effortlessly into the room
Outside (Carlvin Harris)
?Look at what you''ve done Stand still, fallin'' away from me When it takes so long Fire''s out, what do you want to be??
I stood a few steps beside her, hidden behind the Marshmello helmet, letting the music guide the mood while I observed every detail with calm intensity.
Back in the lounge, Laura leaned forward in her seat, eyes fixed on the booth. "I''m still kinda in disbelief about all this..." she said, trying to enjoy the music.
"You get used to it after a while," Cher said with a knowing smile.
"But looking at it now," Regina added, "maybe it''s because we''ve been here from the start, and we''ve be a little numb. Because really, it is unbelievable if you stop and think about it."
She continued, "We''re basically witnessing the birth of another song that''ll probably be a hit across the entire country."
"It''s more than that¡ªhe''s bing a global phenomenon," Pepper added seriously. "He''s already top 10 in some European countries."
The three of them looked at her, slightly astonished.
By the end of the session, I had recorded more than just "Outside" and "I Need Your Love"¡ªwe ended up doing a third track: "Burn."
It wasn''t exactly the kind of song I imagined Marshmello performing, but Ellie''s voice had impressed me so much that I figured... why not?
---
A few days passed, and we were already past the midpoint of April.
I was in bed, still in my pajamas, the early afternoon light filtering through the curtains. Pepper had sent me thetest report, and I was flipping through the printed pages, head resting against the pillows.
"$88.829.870 gross revenue domestic, in 2.875 theaters. $37.134.255 international¡ªbut that''s because it startedter, totaling $125.964.125 worldwide, already surpassing our analysts'' projections" I murmured, reading the numbers aloud. Paranormal Activity had just exploded at the box office.
"Paranormal Activity is already the dark horse of the year... and based on our analysis, we could end up closing with more than double that¡ª$250 million in revenue," I continued.
And Pepper said to use something like multiply by around 0.4 to know our real profit, as we need to pay theaters, distribution, and marketing.
"So we''ve already made around $50 million," I murmured, "and we could be looking at more than $100 million."
"Eeh, I prefer the Bet... less job," I chuckled to myself. "Pepper would probably hit me if she heard that, considering my only job every week is to record a song (and love doing it) and discuss one or two things here and there."
Just then, my phone rang. I nced at the screen and smirked. "Speak of the devil," I muttered.
"Hello, Pepper."
"I wasn''t thinking anything bad about you," I added quickly.
Pepper didn''t respond to that. "Jake, we just signed that song with Jennifer Lopez. That''ll be next week."
"Nice," I said. "Are you already working? It''s 7 a.m."
"I''m a morning person," Pepper replied casually.
"I won''t tell you how to do your job, since you do it incredibly well," I said. "But take care of yourself. I know you work untilte at night. We''re flooded with money¡ªhire more people and delegate."
"Learn from me," I added with a grin. "I even delegate the singing part of the music."
"Really, not even a smile?" I said, half-joking.
There was a pause on the other end before Pepper finally replied, "I smiled. You just can''t hear it through the phone."
I chuckled. "I''ll take that as a win."
"So, Pepper, did you receive the resume for the Harper Management Fund?" I asked smugly, flipping to a different page.
Jake: $61.7M, Charlie: $28.9M, n: $5.28M, Judith: $5.28M, Pepper: $10M, Evelyn: $23.6M. Harper Management Fund Total: $135M.
And that wasn''t even counting the 10% stake in JD Company.
Pepper had put $5 million into the fund. The money had already doubled for most participants¡ªthanks to Nvidia stock soaring¡ªexcept for me, since I also received the performance fee.
"Yes, your bonus would make even some CEOs envy," she said.
"But not you," I replied. "Because, besides the fund, ourpany isn''t doing bad in cash either."
Pepper snorted. "Not bad? We have $140 million in cash and investments¡ªand that''s not even counting the money that wille in from Paranormal Activity."
"Great," I muttered. "We started with $110 million from the Bet, minus the $7.5 million loan, $102.5 million. That initial $1 million I invested was fully spent setting up thepany. Then came the cost of the four movies¡ªParanormal Activity, Brokeback Mountain, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, and Lost in Trantion¡ªtotaling $32 million, and another $10 million to expand ourpany. And still, we''ve got more money than when we started¡ªand that''s without receiving a single penny from the movies yet."
"All thanks to the stock market," I added with a grin. I hadn''t let the money sit idle in the bank¡ªI invested it in stocks, as cash flow was not a problem to us.
"You mentioned hiring. There''s another round of recruitment today¡ªwant to sit in?" Pepper asked.
"Nah, I''m good," I replied.
Pepper added, "You know only three people in your ownpany know who you are, right? And one of them has no idea you''re the owner..."
"Anthony, our CFO" he''s the one with the most Spartan contract, (even though he''s Pepper trusted right hand). Tons of NDA uses¡ªhe''s the guy who buys, sells, and moves all the money around. I just say what to buy or sell and he executes it.
"Then there''s Harvey Spencer¡ªour bestwyer". I think he was from a TV show or something, never watched though.
"And Susie, our Chief of PR" she''s even colder than Pepper. She doesn''t know I''m the owner, but she does know about the Marshmello identity. Marshmello PR team is on pair of Super celebrities'' ones
"Hey, there is you too, so it''s four!"
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Chapter 97: Las Vegas
Chapter 97 - Las Vegas
"Hey, that makes four," I added with a smirk, shifting slightly in bed, still bncing the stack of papers Pepper had sent.
"You''re impossible," Pepper sighed on the other end.
"Are you sure you don''t want to be interviewed by anyone? We''re getting requests from every direction."
"Yeah," I replied, "too tiresome. If someone talks bad about it, just put them on a list. Let the future show the consequences..."
Pepper consented with a sigh. "Alright. Talkter, Jake."
"Bye, Pepper."
I sent a message to Anthony: keep increasing the short position in Enron
This is my biggest bet for 2001, shorting Enron. I read the financials ¡ª that crappany is still the same fraud
I set the phone down and stretched before making my way to the kitchen. Charlie was already there, leaning against the counter with a coffee mug in hand.
"Morning," he said.
"Morning," I replied, taking a seat at the table and grabbing some breakfast.
A few minutester, n walked in, already dressed in cks and a button-up shirt. "Morning," he said, sounding far more awake than usual.
"Morning," Charlie and I replied in unison.
Charlie took another sip of his coffee, then looked over at n. "So how''d it go at the doctor yesterday?"
n pulled out a chair and sat down. "Sit down," he said, sounding unusually serious. "I have to tell you something."
"What?" Charlie asked, raising an eyebrow.
"The doctor wants me to have a procedure," n said carefully.
"What kind of procedure?"
"He says I''m fine... and it''s routine, but I''m really freaked out about it."
"What procedure?" Charlie asked.
"A colonoscopy," n muttered.
"Oh, Jesus, why does everyone keep bringing this kind of thing up at breakfast?" I said, wincing, and pushed my te away, suddenly not hungry anymore.
"Oh, jeez, n, that''s no big deal," Charlie said, waving it off. "They''re just gonna shove a camera up your ass."
"Okay, in all future references to this procedure," n said quickly, "can we please use the word ''glide'' or ''slide'' as opposed to ''shove''?"
"Don''t sweat it. Every guy eventually has to get one of those," Charlie continued. "It''s strictly a fact-finding mission."
"You''ve had one?" n asked.
"No, you crazy?" Charlie scoffed.
"There''s nothing to worry about it, Dad," I added. "It''s a tiny little camera in your ass."
n red at both me and Charlie. "Thank you both," he said,pletely unamused.
Minutester
"Damn it," Berta''s voice rang out.
"What?" Charlie asked.
"The sink''s stopped up again," she said, clearly irritated.
She red at Charlie and said, "Can you at least pick a woman who knows the difference between the garbage and the drain?"
He muttered under his breath, "No wonder she doesn''t care which hole..."
"Charlie!" n said, his tone full of disapproval.
"It is more important for us to know which hole is which, or we are headed for trouble," I added, raising my eyebrows.
"Jake!" n now turned to me, exasperated.
"What, Dad? I''m talking about the garbage and the drain," I said innocently.
Charlie opened his mouth to speak again. "About the colonoscopy¡ª"
But he was cut off by Berta shouting as she struggled with a plumber''s snake. "Come on! Get in there, you sucker!"
Charlie shook his head and turned to n. "You need to get your mind off this colonoscopy."
"Easy for you to say," n muttered.
Berta, still straining with the plumber''s snake, grunted, "It just won''t go in."
Trying to shift the conversation, I said, "Oh, Monica and the rest are getting to Vegas today."
I turned to Charlie with a grin. "Let''s go to Vegas."
"Good idea," Charlie said immediately.
"No!" n snapped. "We are not going to Vegas."
"Come on, it''s the perfect solution," Charlie chimed in. "Jake wants to go, and you''re all puckered up over this colonoscopy thing."
"Besides, we can let Jake stay with them, and go, you know..." Charlie added with a mischievous grin.
"Thank you, Uncle Charlie," I said dryly. "Fortunately, I found myself more responsible uncles and aunts."
Well, more than Uncle Charlie at least
"I don''t know," n said, conflicted.
Berta''s voice rang out again as she continued wrestling with the plumber''s snake. "Perfect, now I can''t get it out."
n sighed. "You know what? Why not?"
---
At night.
Charlie pulled out his phone and started dialing. "Okay, we''re gonna need three rooms. One for n Harper, one for Jake Harper... and one for Charlie Harper and a cocktail waitress to be namedter."
"No, I don''t want connecting rooms. Weren''t you listening? In fact, put mine on a different floor."
"Put mine on a different one too," I added.
I nced at the clock. "It''s 11 p.m. We''rete¡ªwe''re going to get there in the middle of the night."
"That''s because you had lessons," Charlie said.
I gave him a deadpan look. "That was until 6 p.m. You napped until now."
"Well, I''ll drive," Charlie replied defensively.
"Anyway, why''s your dad taking so long?" Charlie asked, ncing around.
I shrugged. Charlie went to check. A few minutester, he returned, and while we waited, we ended up ying a few hands of ckjack.
Eventually, n appeared, and I stared at him, stunned. "What the hell are you wearing, Dad?"
n stood there, proudly sporting an old-fashioned disco outfit¡ªshiny, loud, and very much from another era.
"Viva Las Vegas," n dered with enthusiasm.
"Oh, n," Charlie muttered, rubbing his temples.
"What?" n asked.
"We''re going in a Mercedes, not a time machine," Charlie replied, exasperated.
"Should I change?" n offered.
"You should, but after all these years, I doubt you will," Charlie said with a sigh.
I leaned closer to Charlie and murmured, "Thank God I''ll stay with them. You take care of Dad."
---
Charlie was behind the wheel, focused on the road, while n sat in the passenger seat beside him. They chatted sporadically as the dark highway unrolled in front of us, headlights slicing through the night.
I was in the backseat, finally dozing off, when my phone buzzed against my thigh. I groaned, half-asleep.
"2 a.m.? Who the hell calls at this hour?" I murmured, blinking at the screen.
It was Aunt Rachel.
I swiped to answer. "Rach?"
Her voice came through, unmistakably drunk. "Jakey, I''m getting maaaarried!"
In the background, I heard a loud "Woohoo!"¡ªclearly Ross.
"What???" I said, now fully awake, sitting upright
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Chapter 98: Las Vegas II
Chapter 98 - Las Vegas II
I looked at Uncle Charlie, eyes wide with disbelief.
"Did you hear it?" I asked.
Charlie, still focused on the road, nced back at me through the rearview mirror. "Yeah, I heard it. I escaped that one, huh?"
I rolled my eyes. "Oh well, nothing much to do," I muttered, then leaned back and went right back to sleep.
But barely a minuteter, my phone buzzed again. This time, it was a message.
Chandler:Rachel and Ross got married in Vegas. Just thought you should know, for the fun.
---
The next morning, I headed down to the hotel''s breakfast area. I already knew which hotel Monica and the rest were staying at ¡ª Joey had told me the name ahead of time, and we booked the same one.
As I entered the breakfast room, I scanned the tables. And there they were¡ªMonica, Chandler, and Joey, seated near the windows and midughter over something Joey had just said. They hadn''t spotted me yet.
With a grin, I walked up quietly from behind. "You guys started breakfast without me?"
Monica jumped slightly, Chandler flinched, and Joey nearly dropped his fork.
"Jake!" Monica gasped. "You scared the crap out of me."
"Hey, kid!" Joey said, reaching out for a quick fist bump. "Long time no see."
"Look who decided to show up," Chandler added.
I shook Chandler''s hand and gave Monica a hug before pulling out a chair and joining them at the table.
"So," I said as I settled in, "where''s Dr. and Mrs. Geller?"
"You already know?" Joey asked, surprised.
"Yeah," I said with a smirk. "Chandler messaged me... and Rach called me drunk, screaming that she got married."
Theyughed a little at that, and then Phoebe appeared at the edge of the table, looking cheerful as always. I stood up and gave her a warm hug.
"Where is the waitress?! I''m starving!" Joey groaned, looking around.
"It''s a buffet, man," Chandler replied dryly.
Joey blinked, then stood up. Chandler and I exchanged amused nces and followed him toward the food.
"Listen, I gotta talk to you," Chandler said as we grabbed tes.
"Sure! What''s up?" Joey asked, piling scrambled eggs onto his te.
"Monica and I almost got marriedst night," Chandler admitted.
Joey froze. "Oh my God! That''s huge!" He pulled Chandler into a quick hug. "Wait a minute, howe I wasn''t invited? And who was gonna be your best man? Don''t say Ross. Do not say Ross."
"Look, I just don''t think Monica and I are ready to get married yet. I love her, but seeing Ross and Rachele out of that chapel¡ªit was like a wake-up call. Things are moving too fast. And how do I tell her that without crushing her?"
"Oh! Tell her she''s not marriage material," Joey said matter-of-factly.
"What?!"
"Girls say it to me all the time! And believe me, if she''s anything like me, she''ll just be relieved."
Joey returned to the table.
I raised a brow as I watched him sit down and take a big bite of his eggs. "You know that it''s your mistake, right? Asking Joey for this kind of advice?"
Chandler sighed. "Yeah... I figured that out somewhere between ''she''s not marriage material'' and ''girls say it to me all the time.''"
"Just tell her that you don''t need to hurry. And why are you two in such a rush to get married? It''s not like the world''s ending this year..." I said, shaking my head.
"We were just talking about bacon," Monica said quickly as Chandler and I walked in.
Phoebe raised an eyebrow. "No, we were talking about tennis. Tennis is more believable."
Just then, Ross and Rachel entered
"Hey!" Ross greeted cheerfully.
"Hey!" the girls echoed.
"Hey!" Chandler added with a nervous smile.
Rachel''s eyes widened slightly when she saw me. "Jake! What are you doing here?" she asked as she rushed over and gave me a warm hug.
I smiled and returned it. "Surprise visit," I said.
Then I turned to Ross. "Hey, man," I said, offering a handshake
We both sat down as Rachel poured coffee for the two of us. The room settled into an awkward silence. Ross and Rachel were acting like nothing had happened.
Rachel nced at me again with a curious smile. "So Jake, what are you doing in Vegas?"
I took a sip of the coffee she had just poured me and replied casually, "I came for the marriage... or post-marriage, in this case."
Chandler cleared his throat. "Jake got here a littlete, but we watched the wedding."
Rachel gasped. "Who got married?!"
Chandler said, "You two did", looking to Rachel and Ross
Ross, just as startled, blinked. "What?! Hello! We didn''t get married."
Rachel shook her head quickly. "No, we didn''t get married! That''s ridiculous!"
They turned to look at each other¡ªand then their eyes widened, almost in sync.
Ross stammered, "We-we-we¡ªI remember being in a chapel."
Rachel''s jaw dropped. "Oh my God."
"You even called me, Rach," I said with a smirk."Ross, I thought the expression ''third time''s the charm'' was for dating... not marriage."
Everyoneughed, even Rachel, though she buried her face in her hands. Ross, however, just red at me.
Monica looked between them, noticeably trying to process everything. "What are you guys gonna do?"
Rachel let out a long sigh. "Well, I guess we just find a divorcewyer?" She turned to look at Ross.
Chandler raised his hand slightly. "Well, I think, I think Ross already has one. Now, this one''s free, right? Because you paid for the first two, so the third one''s free."
Now, Ross red at Chandler
Trying to shift the focus, Monica turned to me. "So, how did you even get here, Jake?"
"It was difficult, Monica," I said dramatically, then held up four fingers. "I told Uncle Charlie¡ª''Let''s go to Vegas.''"
I paused for effect, then added, "Yeah, needed four words."
Everyoneughed. Rachel shook her head with a yful sigh. "Your uncle is still irresponsible."
"Not like getting married while drunk is a big sign of responsibility," Chandler murmured under his breath.
Rachel looked to him, narrowing her eyes slightly
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Chapter 99: Las Vegas III
Chapter 99 - Las Vegas III
I looked around the room, raising an eyebrow. "So... what''s the n now?"
Monica replied, "We were nning to stay here one more day, and visit you in L.A., but... you''re already here."
"Well, I have a proposal for you all," I said, leaning forward a bit. "You can visit L.A. at the end of May¡ªwhen the premiere of Joey''s movie will happen."
"Wow, how do you know the date?" Joey asked, looking surprised.
"I''m one of the investors in the movie," I said with a small shrug.
"So, did you get Joey the role?" Chandler asked
"Not really," I replied. "He got it on his own merit. I didn''t say anything. The most I did was tell Joey about the role."
Joey beamed, proud. "Man, that means even more. I actually earned it!"
"Yes, and we''re all very proud of you," Phoebe said, patting his shoulder.
"Thanks, Pheebs," Joey said, grinning.
Chandler finally raised his coffee. "Here''s to Joey Tribbiani¡ªactor and star."
Everyone did the same, raising their cups and congratting Joey with smiles and cheers.
"Did you watch the movie?" Joey asked, looking around the table.
"No, I saved it for the premiere," I replied.
Pepper watched it, though. And she was impressed¡ªsaid it might be another dark horse. She even decided tounch it in way more theaters than Paranormal Activity originally started with.
Rachel tilted her head. "Wait, what was the proposal you were going to make?"
"Ah, right!" I said, snapping my fingers. "I got some tickets for shows¡ªCirque du Soleil: Myst¨¨re, Blue Man Group, and David Copperfield. Ten tickets each."
Pepper got for free. All hail Pepper
"Whoa," Joey said. "That''s a lotta shows."
"Well, we''re in Vegas," I responded. "Might as well enjoy it properly. We can split into groups or try to hit everything over the next two days."
So we ended up watching them together¡ª including n, Charlie, and some girl Charlie had just met in Vegas. Typical.
Later, after saying our goodbyes, Charlie got behind the wheel, and we drove back to Malibu.
---
Back at Charlie''s house, Laura was sitting on myp, her arms loosely around my neck.
"Next time, you need to call me too," she said, biting my shoulder
She was a little envious of the three shows I got to see.
The trio showed up¡ªCarly, Sam, and Freddie¡ªand they joined us out on the deck as the sun began to set.
Shortly, Cher and Regina appeared too.
The seven of us were now sitting together on the deck, the ocean breeze rolling in softly.
"I can''t believe you didn''t call us to go to Vegas," said Regina, giving me a yful re.
"I have a better one," I said with a wink.
"What is it?" Cher asked, leaning in with curiosity.
Laura also looked at me, intrigued.
"It''s about my music recording " I said. "But this time," I added, looking around, "I need you all to behave. Especially you two." I pointed at Cher and Regina.
"I only flirted with one of the singers," Cher said quickly.
"Regina flirted with two," she added.
"But he was cute," Regina said defensively.
Before the two could start gossiping about it, I raised a hand. "Okay, okay, it''s not about that."
"This time, the singer is actually pretty famous," I added, giving them a look that only made them more curious.
"Who?" asked Laura, her eyes locked on mine.
Everyone was now paying close attention, waiting for the reveal.
"Jennifer Lopez," I said simply.
"J.Lo?!" screamed Cher and Regina at the same time.
Laura had both hands wrapped around my arm, eyes gleaming with excitement. Carly looked amazed. Even Sam was animated.
"What''s so special about Jennifer Lopez anyway?" Freddie asked.
Everyone turned to look at him.
Cher and Regina stared at him with a murderous gaze.
"Idiot", Sam kicked him under the table
I cleared my throat. "Honestly, I''d prefer if you all acted a bit more like Freddie. Just don''t go all fangirl with her, okay?" I said, shooting a nce at Cher and Regina.
They both gave me identical looks of mock innocence.
"No promises," Regina said with a sly smile.
"We''ll try," Cher added, already failing to contain her grin.
Everyone chuckled.
The group chatted for a little while longer, until Freddie broke the rhythm.
"So, no one''s gonna talk about the tests we have this week?" he asked.
"You are such a nerd, Freddie," Sam said, rolling her eyes.
"Well, I''m not the one at risk of repeating the year," he snapped back.
"Or maybe that''s not a bad thing, I wouldn''t have to put up with you in ss anymore," Freddie finished.
"Shut up, you idiot," Sam shot back immediately.
Carly sat quietly, a bit conflicted.
"I''m okay being a B student..." Cher said with a shrug, unbothered.
Laura nodded in agreement beside her.
"Maybe I need a little help," Regina admitted with a sigh.
"Wait¡ªare there tests this week?" I asked, blinking.
Everyone looked at me
"Now and June are our main testing periods," Carly said, finally breaking her silence.
I just shrugged.
"You''re the one nerd that irritates me the most," Sam snapped, visibly annoyed. "You sleep in ss more than I do."
I gasped, pointing at her dramatically. "Lies... fake news!"
"You totally do," Carly said deadpan. "I even have to wake you up sometimes just to tell you ss is over."
"I didn''t know you were that kind of person," Laura uttered, a little surprised
I leaned closer and whispered, "That''s a little your fault. You keep texting me untilte at night..."
Laura yfully bumped her shoulder against mine, grinning.
"And yet he got all A+!" Sam shot.
"What??" said Laura, Regina, and Cher in unison.
------
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Chapter 100: Study
Chapter 100 - Study
The shock from thest statement still lingered in the air.
"You got all A+?" Laura repeated, staring at me with a blend of disbelief and amusement.
"How did you two not know?" I asked, looking at Cher and Regina. "You''re the gossip queens."
They both gasped, offended.
"We are queen bees," Regina corrected, pointing a finger at me. "And grades are definitely not something we gossip about."
"Don''t you feel shame calling yourself a queen bee?" I asked, looking directly at her.
"You are the one person who can''t talk about shame," she fired back without missing a beat.
"Heyy," I said indignantly as I noticed everyone around nodding in agreement with her.
Cher narrowed her eyes. "You fall asleep in ss, you barely study... and yet, A+? Did you cheat?"
"I don''t need to," I said, unfazed.
"Let''s put it to the test," Regina said, eyes gleaming. "Pick your books."
"Really? Who are you and what did you do with Regina?" I replied, raising an eyebrow.
Still, I got up and grabbed my books.
"Are we really studying?" I said, looking around in disbelief. "What a weird day."
Everyone slowly followed suit, grabbing notebooks and textbooks from their bags or shelves around the room. The deck that had been filled with teasing andughter now buzzed with the rustle of pages and the asional groan.
"Okay, ten questions each," Regina said, already flipping through a math book.
"Is this happening?" Sam groaned.
And yet, everyone started solving the questions, pencils scratching paper.
Minutester, I leaned back and said, "Done!"
Yeah, 9th grade math, I thought. Not worth mentioning.
They all looked at me. Carly and Freddie were calm¡ªthey''d seen this before. Since some sses include in-ss group exercises, they already knew I understood the material.
But the other three¡ªLaura, Cher, and Regina¡ªstared at me with genuine surprise on their faces.
"Let me see it," Cher said, holding out her hand.
I handed her the paper.
Meanwhile, Laura pointed to one of her questions. "How do you solve this one?"
I leaned over and began walking her through it step by step.
By the end, Laura''s eyes lit up and she gave a small smile¡ªa clear expression of realization.
Cher, seeing everything was correct (the book has the answers), raised her eyebrows at me. "Now you''re a genius too?"
"Now?" I said with a grin. "I''ve been intelligent since day one."
Cher rolled her eyes, and Laura just started to pinch my arm, amused.
"Okay, okay! I''ll stop being cocky," Iughed, gently pulling my arm away.
"Toote," Sam said. "The ego is already airborne."
We kept studying for a little longer. Carly, Freddie, and Laura were focused, taking notes seriously. Cher was a little distracted but trying. Regina was struggling, flipping through pages and muttering to herself.
Meanwhile, Sam looked like one of those defeated cartoon characters¡ªslumped in her chair, arms hanging lifelessly, eyes zed over as if she''d already given up on life itself.
I had to stifle augh just watching her.
At that moment, Uncle Charlie walked in, holding a beer in one hand, looking around at the scene with mild astonishment.
"Hey," Charlie greeted.
"Hi, Uncle Charlie," I said first.
Everyone else quickly chimed in with their own greetings.
"Are you using my deck to study?" Charlie asked, a little indignantly, looking at all the open books and scattered papers.
"What is wrong with you people?" he added, shaking his head in disbelief.
I just shrugged. "Obviously, it wasn''t my idea."
"A thousand bucks if you guess who had the idea," I added, smirking.
Charlie pointed immediately at Freddie without hesitation. "Him."
Everyone burst outughing.
I made a buzzer sound. "Wrong. It was Regina," I said, pointing right at her.
Charlie gave me a skeptical look. "Are you sure it was her?"
"I wouldn''t believe it either if someone just told me," I admitted.
A secondter, a small paper ball hit me square on the head. I turned to see Regina sticking her tongue out at me.
Just then, a beautiful woman stepped onto the deck, calling out, "Charlie!". She walked over, taking Uncle Charlie''s arm and smiling warmly at all of us.
"Melissa, this is my nephew and his friends," Charlie said, introducing us.
We all waved and greeted her with a chorus of "Hi!"
Melissa tilted her head, amused. "They''re studying? On a Friday?"
Charlie, straightening up like he was the proudest role model in the world, replied, "I encourage them. For their future."
"Awn," Melissa cooed, charmed.
Charlie grinned, gave us a quick wink behind her back, and led her away from the deck.
I shook my head, amused. When I noticed everyone staring at me, I blinked. "What?" I asked.
"Ites from the family, huh?!" Cher teased.
"They have zero shame," Regina added,ughing.
---
A few dayster, the tests happened¡ªand now, everyone had received their results.
"Fuu, it actually helped me with my grades," Sam admitted, referring to the day we studied together.
I went to sit next to Laura. She turned to me with a smile. "Got all A+?"
I simply nodded.
Laura smiled wider and nudged my shoulder lightly. "Show-off."
Around us, the others wereparing their grades, some celebrating, others groaning dramatically.
"At least no one flunked," Carly said, trying to stay positive.
Regina pped her hands to get our attention. "Okay, but can we talk about what really matters now?" she said, clearly referring to the uing music recording.
Cher immediately chimed in, her eyes lighting up. "I brought J.Lo''s album, The Wedding nner DVD, and a T-shirt to get autographed!"
Cher and Regina exchanged a yful look and then pped their hands together in a silly, exaggerated high-five celebration.
But undeniably, both the movie and the album, released back in January, had been a sesses, I thought.
------
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Chapter 101: Earthquake
Chapter 101 - Earthquake
A few dayster, already in the second week of May, the recording session with Jennifer Lopez was officially behind us¡ªand it had been a huge sess.
She was even nicer than I expected. Not that I had thought too much about it; I wasn''t exactly a fan¡ªI only knew two or three of her songs¡ªbut she surprised me.
Cher and Reginapletely froze the moment they saw her. Laura tried hard to stay cool, forcing a polite smile and nodding, but it was obvious she was starstruck too. Honestly, I think only Freddie and I remained genuinely chill about the whole thing. We both didn''t think too much about it.
---
Now, I was sitting in Pepper''s office, a cup of coffee in my hand. She was leaning over her desk, reviewing some contracts.
"So... Paranormal Activity passed $250 million worldwide?" I asked, breaking the silence.
"Yes," Pepper confirmed, looking up with a satisfied smile. "We surpassed The ir Witch Project, which had $248.6 million worldwide. We can probably add another $40 million, but I don''t know if we''ll pass $300 million."
"So our profit is like $100 million now..." I said, thinking aloud.
"Pretty much," she nodded.
I grinned. "I''ll give $2 million to Carly, Sam, and Freddie each."
Pepper nodded. "About the others?"
"I couldn''t care less" I said casually.
Pepper nodded again.
I''m totally a hypocrite when ites to money. I would favor my friends without hesitation, but there''s no reason to do the same for people I don''t even know. The sess of the movie isn''t because of the actors¡ªany other good ones could''ve done the job.
Pepper, on the other hand, is way better when ites to this. She wouldn''t pay a single penny more than what''s written in the contract, no matter who it was.
At the same time, she always tried to structure win-win contracts, never squeezing the other side unfairly.
She even proposed (by my idea) that the actors could swap all their fixed sry for a tiny portion of the gross revenue. Not a single one took the offer.
"By the way," Pepper said, reaching across her desk. She grabbed three magazine/newspaper covers and tossed them in front of me.
"Your ''little'' project is bing a tsunami," she said.
Rolling Stone. New York Times. Los Angeles Times.
Each one had Marshmello''s helmeted face sshed across the front.
I leaned forward and read the covers:
Rolling Stone:Tsunami Marshmello ¨C The singer that is revolutionizing Electronic Music
New York Times:Marshmello changing the NYC nights. How the singer took (almost) all the nightclubs
Los Angeles Times:J.Lo + Marshmello = #1 Billboard. ''On the Floor'' topped every single chart
Pepper leaned back in her chair, tapping her pen against her notepad thoughtfully.
"We can soon release an album," she said. "And what about tours and shows?"
"Nah, I''m toozy to do it now," I replied coolly, leaning back. "Going around and singing in a bunch of ces... I have other ns."
Pepper raised her eyebrows and gave me a long, curious look.
Without saying anything, I pulled a stack of papers from my bag and handed it to her.
Pepper took the stack and read the title on the cover page aloud: "Tomorrond Project."
As she started reading, her eyes widened with surprise.
"Why do a show when I can create an entire event?" I said, with a wide grin.
"Let''s cause an entire earthquake, Pepper," I added yfully.
And, as if on cue¡ªlike a clich¨¦ straight out of a siedy ¡ªthe ground beneath us gave a sudden jolt.
"You have got to be kidding me," Pepper muttered as everything in the office started to rattle.
---
"Yes, Mom, I''m okay," I said into my phone a little whileter.
"So, only a pipe broke and soaked the living room?" I repeated, trying not tough.
"Okay, I''ll go to Uncle Charlie''s house. Need to make some other calls. Bye, Mom," I said, hanging up.
After that, I sent a few quick messages to everyone else, checking in.
Fortunately, everyone was okay. Carly, Sam, Freddie, Laura, Cher, and Regina all replied with simr versions of "all good" and "just a scare."
Only Spencer had a bit of bad luck¡ªapparently a few of his sculptures and paintings had been knocked over and shattered during the quake.
Dad said he was okay too; Malibu was not that affected.
I turned back to Pepper, who was busy organizing some fallen folders.
"I''m heading out," I said.
Pepper gave me a nod, still flipping through the papers. "Stay safe, Jake."
"You too," I said with a grin, waving as I walked out the door.
---
When I arrived at Uncle Charlie''s house, a tall blonde woman was standing at the front door, speaking to Charlie in anguage I didn''t recognize. Sheughed softly, touching his arm lightly before giving him a quick wave goodbye.
"Swell," Uncle Charlie said to her with a big grin.
Then he turned to me, still smiling. "Hi, Jake."
"Are you sure you know what she said?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.
Charlie chuckled and motioned for me toe inside. n was there too, sitting on the couch.
"Hey, n and Jake," Charlie said, still grinning. "You know how to say ''Please go faster'' in Polish?"
He paused dramatically, then said, "Zejd? z moich w?os¨®w."(Get off my hair)
"Funnynguage, isn''t it?" Charlie added.
"Yeah, hrious," n muttered dryly.
"The earthquake hit Sherman Oaks a lot harder than Malibu," n said.
"What earthquake?" Charlie asked, looking genuinely confused.
"What earthquake?" n repeated incredulously.
"About an hour ago..." I added, just as astonished.
"You didn''t feel the house shaking?" n asked.
Uncle Charlie had a realization and said, "Ohhh."
"Unbelievable," n continued, shaking his head. "You actually thought that was you?"
"No," Charlie said with a smirk. "I thought it was her... you know, because of me."
Charlie leaned back with a satisfied grin. "The good news is, unless they report it on Polish TV... I still get the credit."
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Chapter 102: Earthquake II
Chapter 102 - Earthquake II
Chapter 100 \o/
"I''m thrilled for you," n said, ironically.
"Anyway, Judith called," n added. "A pipe broke," he continued, "soaked her living room carpet... and she''spletely freaking out."
"All true, Mother told me," I confirmed.
"Yeah, well, that''s the difference," Charlie chimed in, smirking. "Between wife and ex-wife."
"With an ex-wife, you don''t even have to pretend to care," Charlie finished with a chuckle.
"Hey, that''s my mom," I protested.
"I told her she could stay here until the repairs are done," n said.
"Hey, what is the problem with you, Dad?" I said, looking at him incredulously.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Back up. Back up," Charlie interrupted, waving his hands.
"When you told her, did you have, like, a sarcastic chuckle in your voice?" Charlie asked n.
"It''s just for a couple of days..." n tried to defend himself.
---
At lunch:
"Judith, sit down. I''ve got it covered," n said.
"No. I can pitch in," Judith replied politely.
"Where do you keep the sd tongs?" she asked."Wait, I got them," she added when she found them in the drawer.
"Better use the wooden ones," Charlie chimed in.
"What''s wrong with these?" Judith asked, holding up a stic pair.
"I use those whenever I drop my watch in the toilet," Charlie replied.
"This is a regr urrence?" Judith asked, raising an eyebrow.
"You''d think I''d learn," Charlie said with a shrug.
"And you keep them in the kitchen?" Judith asked, astonished.
"I used to hang them in the bathroom," Charlie said. "But it freaked some chicks out."
"He''s just kidding with you," n said hurriedly. "Use the wooden ones."
Just then, Evelyn appeared in the kitchen.
"Hello, boys," she greeted cheerfully, and then, noticing Judith, added, "And Judith."
"Oh great..." Charlie muttered under his breath.
"So Jake, what do you want to talk about?" Evelyn asked, turning to me with a smile.
"You called her?" Charlie asked incredulously.
I ignored Uncle Charlie and addressed everyone. "I called Grandma because I decided to buy a new house, so Mom and I can live in it."
"What?" everyone said in surprise.
"I have more than enough money, and I think we could have a better ce to live," I exined.
"Oh Jake, you don''t need to," Judith said warmly.
"That''s what I want, Mom. And I can live in a ce closer to school and here," I added.
"Where do you want, sweetheart?" Grandma asked gently.
"I was thinking Santa Monica," I replied.
"I have some incredible ones there. We can see some today," Grandma said enthusiastically.
I started listing excitedly, "A pool, a room that can be transformed into a music studio, a mini cinema¡ªsince I''m making movies, having a ce to watch them at home would be great¡ªmaybe twelve garage spaces, a ce where I can throw parties, many bedrooms..."
I paused, counting on my fingers. "Help me, Mom," I said.
Judith was just sitting there,pletely astonished.
"And a sea view," I added with a grin.
"I have two or three of that kind," Grandma said, smiling proudly.
---
At the third house, all five of us were looking around the property.
"This is it," I said, feeling the excitement. "This is by far the best one."
"And the owner went bankrupt," Evelyn added. "It''ll be easy to close the deal."
"It already has a music studio and a mini cinema," I pointed out enthusiastically.
"It belonged to a former celebrity," Evelyn exined. "Seems he spent everything on women and booze."
"Why are you looking at me, Mom?" Charlie asked, narrowing his eyes.
"Are you sure, Jake?" Judith asked, her voice concerned. "This seems very expensive."
"Yes, Mom, I''m sure," I replied.
To be fair, Grandma, Uncle Charlie, and I are living kinda frugally for how much we have now...
After that, Grandma went ahead and took care of all the paperwork. It only took a few days to close everything.
Mom was so happy that not a single argument happened during the few days she stayed with us. Dad seemed a little conflicted about everything but, in the end, he said nothing.
The price of the house was $15.5 million. Not really much considering how much I have. Grandma even said it was a bargain.
---
A few dayster, I was sitting on the deck of Uncle Charlie''s house, enjoying the breeze. Mom had already moved into the new house¡ªthere were still a few minor repairs needed, but it was more than ready to live in.
As I sipped my drink, the doorbell rang.
Before I could get up, I saw Dad walking toward the door to answer it.
When he opened the door, Carly, Sam, and Freddie spotted me sitting on the deck and immediately started walking over with big smiles on their faces.
"Hey, Jake!" Carly called out, waving.
"Sup, dude," Freddie added.
"Yo, genius boy," Sam teased
Iughed and stood up to greet them. We exchanged quick hugs and fist bumps all around.
"So, where''s Laura?" Sam asked, looking around.
"What? I''m not enough?" I replied, pretending to be offended, a yful smirk tugging at my lips.
They looked at me weirdly.
"Yeah, it works better on her..." I murmured.
Then I straightened up and said, "I actually want to talk with you three."
They gave me raised eyebrows in response.
I motioned for them to sit down. Once everyone was seated close together, I pulled out three envelopes and handed one to each of them.
"What is this?" Sam asked, eyeing the envelope suspiciously.
"Your sry from Paranormal Activity," I said casually.
"You already paid us," Carly said, smiling.
"Yeah, I even already spent the money. Had a big stomachache after..." Sam added with a sheepish grin.
"That was only pocket money," I said with a small grin.
"It was not..." Sam replied quickly. "Believe me, I tried to put it in my pocket."
I just rolled my eyes and said, "Just open the envelope."
Carly and Sam were still opening theirs when Freddie gave a small scream, dropping the check.
"Hey, don''t let the check fall! I don''t want to have to sign it again," I said quickly
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Chapter 103 - 2 Million Dollars
Chapter 103 - 2 Million Dors
Chapter 101
Freddie quickly picked the check up from the ground, his hands trembling a little.
"What the heck, Jake?!" he eximed, staring wide-eyed at the numbers written on it.
Carly finally unfolded hers and gasped.
"Two million dors!!!" Carly screamed, clutching the check like it might fly away.
"Wow, I can literally buy a small mountain of fried chicken and bacon..." Sam said, eyes wide with wonder.
We all looked at Sam, half-amused, half-concerned.
I spoke up, "Sam, this money can change your future. Try not to do something dumb. If your parents are not reliable, I can give you some advice."
"He is right, Sam," said Carly. Then she turned to me, concern in her eyes. "Are you sure about this?" she asked, referring to the money.
"Yes, I''m sure. I made even more," I said, referring to the money I had earned. "There''s another thing¡ªdo not tell anybody. It''s not good to broadcast that you have that much money," I added.
Everyone nodded, even Sam.
"Oh man, that''s incredible. I think I will buy a new camera," said Freddie.
Iughed. "Do whatever."
The three of them kept tossing around ideas of what they could do with that kind of money, half-joking and half-dreaming about crazy ns. I just stayed back a little,ughing and toning down some of the wildest ideas they came up with.
---
The next day, Laura sent me a message saying she wanted to talk. I asked if she wanted to go out or if it could be at the Malibu house. She replied that Malibu was fine, that she just needed to change clothes first, and then she''d be on her way.
A littleter, the doorbell rang, and Laura appeared. I opened the door and saw she looked a bit nervous. I gave her a small smile and signaled toward the deck. We both walked outside and sat across from each other on the deck, the ocean breeze gently rolling in.
"Soo...?" I asked, starting the conversation.
Laura didn''t beat around the bush. "I got an audition, and I got epted for the role," she said with a great smile. But it was noticeable from the way her hands fidgeted that she was still nervous.
"Congrattions," I said, hugging her warmly. After a moment, I pulled back slightly and looked into her eyes. "I sense a ''but,''" I added.
She took a small breath before speaking again. "The filming will take ce (mostly) in a town called Cloverdale, Canada. I will have to move back to Canada in August," she said after a moment.
I froze for a moment but quickly recovered and gently took Laura''s hands in mine. "What are you conflicted about?" I asked, looking into her eyes.
"Everything was going great. I finally love my high school life and..." she paused for a moment, let go of my hands, and opened her arms, "...and us." She hesitated, her voice soft. "I don''t know..."
"Just go, Laura," I said seriously. "That is your dream. I saw how much work you put into this. I know how many acting sses you take every week."
"Jake..." she said softly.
I continued, "And also know how passionate you are about this. Believe me, girl, I have tons of your messages about it," I added with a smirk, finally making herugh a little.
"I will be honest with you, Laura. I could make a better offer than this role you''re taking, even though you haven''t told me what it is yet. But frankly, I don''t think it would be good for you in the long term. You got this one by your own merit. Go there and make it big. Learn more, build yourself more, and get experience."
I smiled at her warmly. "In the future, if you need, I can help you reach higher levels."
"Now you''re bing all cheesy," she said, smiling.
I smiled and scoffed. "And here am I, putting all my heart..." I said dramatically (like a Mosby), making Laura punch me lightly. We bothughed.
I then continued, "About us... we haven''t even made our rtionship official. It''s not worth mentioning when ites to this kind of opportunity." I looked into her eyes and added, "Peoplee and go. And with your focus on your career and my personality, I don''t think either of us is looking for a serious rtionship anytime soon. Whether it''s with each other or with anyone else."
She sighed and said, "Sometimes I forget how rational you can be." Then she joked, "Could you be a little more romantic now? Like," she said dramatically, "''Laura, stay with me,''" shepleted with augh. "Then I''d have a teen romance drama to brag about."
"E, now you''re the one being cheesy," I said, grinning.
We joked a little more. I don''t know when or who started it, but when we realized, we were kissing.
After a good moment, when we stopped and looked at each other, I said, "I have a song for this moment. We''ve been all cheesy, so this one will make you cringe more." I smiled. "I won''t lie and say I wrote it for you," I paused. "That would be too much, even for me." I chuckled lightly. "It''s actually a music that I song for my grandma, but I think you would like it."
I took Laura by the hand and led her to the piano. She looked at me skeptically and said,ughing a little in disbelief, "You wrote a song for your grandma, and now you''re going to sing it for me?"
I rified, smiling, "I didn''t write it for her. I sang it for her."
Omake:
Freddie said to me, "Mom was really surprised about the money... and the fact you shared it. She already considers you like a brother to me."
Heughed and continued, "She even said¡ªand I''m quoting¡ª''If he tells you to go east, go east. If he tells you to go west, go west.''"
Iughed. "Really, Freddie, make her stop reading those Chinese novels. They''re good, but they might rot her brain."
Freddie chuckled and added, "She even told me to start calling you Senior Brother."
"Yeah, you should really make her stop reading that book," I said, shaking my head with a grin.
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Chapter 104: The Role
Chapter 104 - The Role
Chapter 102
Laura sat on the bench next to me, still looking a little skeptical but smiling.
"Alright, alright," I said,ughing lightly.
I ced my fingers on the keys and started ying "Let Her Go" (Passenger).
I began to sing, my voice soft but steady:
?Well you only need the light when it''s burning low Only miss the sun when it starts to snow Only know you love her when you let her go...?
When I finished the song, I let thest notes linger.
Before I could even say anything, Laura leaned in and kissed me. I closed my eyes and kissed her back.
When we finally pulled apart, we were both smiling.
"Guess you liked the song," I said yfully.
Lauraughed softly, her forehead resting against mine. "I loved it."
"See, you can brag now about how awesome I was," I joked.
Laura bumped our heads together lightly andughed. "Ok, big head."
I smiled and said, "We still need to talk about your role."
So we both stood up and made our way back to the deck, the cool ocean breeze greeting us once again.
Laura sat down, swinging her legs lightly, and said, "I will be Chloe Sullivan. It''s a series named Smallville, about the teenage life of rk Kent, the future Superman."
She continued, "I will be a friend of his."
She paused a little and added, "I think I will need to cut my hair and be a little more nerdy?"
"That is incredible," I said, excited.
If I''m not wrong, Laura eventually became Supergirl in Smallville. Another change in the future... Not bad, because if I remember correctly, the original actress who yed Chloe Sullivan got involved in something crazy, like a sexual cult or something...
Then I said, smiling, "If there''s ever an episode where he reveals he''s Superman, you can just use the same reaction you had when you found out I was Marshmello."
Laura just giggled. "Now you''reparing yourself to Superman?" she smirked.
"No way, I''m way cooler. He wears his underwear over his pants," I said with a grin.
Laura teased, "Says the one who wears a candy bucket."
"Hey, you said it was super cute," I replied, pretending to be offended.
Laura narrowed her eyes yfully. "That''s because you''re shameless. You used to trick me into saying only good things about Marshmello when I didn''t know it was you."
"Yeah, good old times," I said, smiling. "It was funny."
After some more kisses, I whispered, "I''m gonna miss you."
"I''m gonna miss you too," Laura replied softly.
"So, when do you go?" I asked.
"Probably the second week of August," she said.
"At least you''ll stay for my birthday," I said with a small smile.
She smiled back. "When is it?"
"August 5th," I answered.
---
After Laura left, I stayed sitting on the deck, the sound of the waves keeping mepany as I stared out at the dark ocean, lost in thought.
Uncle Charlie arrived a few minutester and sat down beside me.
"Why the lost thought?" he asked, ncing at me with a curious look.
"Laura is going back to Canada in August," I replied.
"Wanna talk about it?" he asked, taking a sip from the beer in his hand.
"Not much to talk about it. I like her, but we are going in our own paths. And we''re too young, a lot could happen in the future," I said.
"Oh man, you are way too mature," said Uncle Charlie with a chuckle. "Now would be the time your cool uncle gives you some good advice," he added, grinning.
"Let''s leave it for another asion," I said, smiling. "But thank you, Uncle Charlie."
"Always," he replied warmly.
I raised my ss of juice and clinked it lightly against his beer bottle, sharing a quiet toast under the stars.
---
The next day, all of us were hanging out at Carly''s house. Sam, Freddie, and I were already there, and Laura had called Regina and Cher to join us too. Spencer was walking with Carly''s dog
Laura smiled and said, "I wanted to do it at my house, but my family can be a little noisy."
Regina smirked and said, "Are you sure it''s not because of Jake? We all know he''s not exactly the good boy to introduce to parents."
"Hey," I said, feigning indignance.
They allughed.
"Don''t worry," I added with a grin. "Next week, my new house will be ready to receive guests."
Uncle Charlie needed the house today, so we couldn''t meet there.
"Don''t worry, Laura, my house is open," said Carly.
Then Cher leaned in with curiosity. "So, what''s the big surprise, Laura?"
Laura didn''t waste any time and said excitedly, "I was epted in an audition, I got a role!"
The four girls screamed in excitement too. A lot of congrattions followed, and the four of them embraced Laura,ughing and celebrating together.
Freddie tried to step in and congratte her, but he was quickly overwhelmed by the excited girls, who continued hugging and chattering around Laura.
After some time, when everyone finally calmed down, Laura spoke again, a little nervous. "But there is a thing... I will have to go back to Canada. The filming will be there. In August, I will return."
"What??" the four girls screamed in unison, quickly surrounding Laura again with hugs and chatter.
Freddie, however, slipped away from the chaos and came over to me.
"Jake, are you okay?" he asked quietly.
"Yeah," I said, giving him a small smile. "She told me yesterday. Nothing much to do about it.", "But thanks, man"
---
After some time, we all talked,ughed, and joked. But little by little, whether pulling me aside or through a quick message or call, each of the four girls, in their own way, asked if I was okay that day.
Sam was the most awkward one. She almost hit me when I couldn''t hold back myughter.
Despite the shenanigans, childishness, and ws, I really had made good friends.
------
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Chapter 105: Fame
Chapter 105 - Fame
Chapter 103
I was walking down the school hallway with Carly, Sam, and Freddie. As we moved through the crowd, several students greeted us with waves and smiles. I could see some people pointing in our direction, whispering excitedly to each other. I just kept walking normally, sharing a few nods and smiles back, while Carlyughed softly at the attention we were getting. Sam elbowed Freddie yfully, and he just shrugged, trying to look cool despite the obvious stares.
The first two music clips from Marshmello had just been released, airing on MTV. The first one was Happier, and just like in the original, Carly was the star of the video.
Carly got emotional after watching the clip. She even bought a golden retriever for herself (unfortunately, the one she filmed with wasn''t for sale).
Freddie also got famous because I asked to put, in huge letters at the beginning of the clip, that he was the one who did the filming (Happier).
Then the other three arrived at our meeting spot¡ªLaura, Regina, and Cher. Of the three, Regina was the one who was grinning the most.
No wonder¡ªshe was the star of the second clip, Friendzone. Sia was singing as if she were an observer, while Regina yed the main role of the girl rejecting advances and being the centerpiece of the story.
Cher was happy too, knowing she would be the next one to be the center in the uing clip.
"But Jake is still the most popr," Cher said with a yful smile.
Yeah, I had just released two more songs: me (Calvin Harris) and Wake Me Up (Avicii). And I decided to finally sing one myself¡ªthe second one. After all, Wake Me Up was my favorite song from Avicii.
Unfortunately, I didn''t get John Newman for the first one. He might be too young (like, born around the same time as in my past world). I didn''t find any singer with his name. Well, I can''t get everything.
So everyone congrats me because I sang the song. Since there are plenty of other singers who performed with Marshmello, nobody thought too much about it. Still, by singing a Marshmello song myself, I ended up bing even more popr.
And of course, Regina had already started a rumor that her dad paid for all of us to be part of Marshmello''s clips and songs.
I smiled and said to everyone, "So I got more popr, but without getting overwhelmingly popr."
Then, shamelessly, I added, looking especially at Regina and Laura, "Now it''s not hard to choose your favorite song anymore. Now clearly Wake Me Up is the best one."
They all looked at me deadpan.
Then, without saying a word, they started ripping pieces of paper, making small balls, and throwing them at me.
After the shenanigans, Freddie said, "I got you now, man," giving me a yful shove. "I think you wouldn''t even be able to walk around here if people knew the whole truth."
Laura nodded. "You are in every station, news talks about you from time to time."
"Sure thing," Regina added, "it started to have all kinds of products with Marshmello''s head."
"Speaking of products, some more stuff just arrived at my house. Since everyone is going there to check it out, don''t let me forget to hand out the goodies to you guys." I spoke remembering the boxes I received
"You bet," said Laura with a big grin.
I then turned to Sam and Freddie and asked with a smile, "Are you sure you don''t want to be a star in one of the clips?"
Freddie answered, "Nah, I still prefer to be the one filming."
Sam shrugged. "I don''t really mind either. Being a side character and still getting paid for it is already amazing. But if there''s ever a clip where I get to beat people up, I wouldn''t mind," Sam said with a smirk.
Iughed and said, "I will call you if that happens."
Regina and Cher exchanged smirks and said, "So Laura will be the one in the Wake Me Up clip?"
I looked at them and then at Laura, smiled, and agreed, "Yes..."
Laura smiled back at me.
---
After school, we all headed to my house. Everyone looked around, clearly impressed by the ce. Judith had already prepared some drinks and snacks for us, making the whole atmosphere even more weing.
Judith came to say hi, and we all greeted her back. "I''ll leave you all to enjoy yourselves," she said with a warm smile.
"Thanks, mom," I replied.
"I love your mother," Sam said while already attacking the food.
Yeah, I thought to myself, I don''t hear that often...
Regina looked around the house with a sparkle in her eyes. "This one will give some amazing parties," she said.
"Really, Regina?" I said, raising an eyebrow. "That was the first thing that came to your mind when you saw my house for the first time?"
She looked at me, challenging, "And you don''t think the same?"
I raised my eyebrow again but smirked. "Yeah," I said, then joked, "my party will still be the most awesome."
Regina snorted.
Regina, Cher, and even Carly had thrown some parties for the 9th grade. But my ending partyst year was still considered the best one.
Then Cher and Laura joined the conversation.
"When will be the party to inaugurate this house?" Cher asked, smiling.
"I was thinking my birthday, August 5th," I replied.
"Still a bit far away..." Reginamented.
"It''s true," I said, nodding. "But it''s going to be the party. I won''t restrict anyone from 9th or 10th grade, and I''ll even let some people bring guests."
The eyes of Cher and Regina lit up.
"So we''re talking about something like 300 people?" Cher questioned, excited.
"Maybe even more, depending," I replied casually.
Both of them jumped enthusiastically.
"And yes, you two can do the nning," I said, smirking.
Let the queen bees work for the hive for the first time
------
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Chapter 106: Creepy
Chapter 106 - Creepy
Chapter 104
Laura turned to me, curious. "By the way, what about those Marshmello products you mentioned? Can we see them?"
I lit up at her question. "Sure!" I said, already getting up.
"Freddie,e help me," I added, waving him over.
Freddie put down his soda and followed me to the hallway. We returned a minuteter, each carrying arge box filled with Marshmello merchandise.
Everyone''s eyes widened in anticipation.
I opened one of the boxes and started pulling things out. There were Marshmello-themed hoodies, T-shirts, hats, keychains, plushies, and even some limited-edition sneakers. The designs were colorful and fun, with the iconic Marshmello face everywhere.
"Whoa," Sam said, grabbing a hoodie immediately.
Regina spotted something and her eyes lit up. "I want this one," she said, grabbing a cartoonish Marshmello pillow that had a heart shape and the word ''Friendzone'' written across it.
"Wow, there''s even a dog cor," Carly said, her voice full of excitement as she was still all over her golden retriever doggy.
Laura picked up a Marshmello plushie, hugged it tightly, then walked over to me with a yful smile. "This one doesn''t have a hidden camera, right?" she joked.
I looked at her.
"Sorry, that was out of line," Laura said quickly.
I smiled and gently ran my hand along her arm. "I''ll let you pass," I said softly. "You were the victim, after all."
Still, I couldn''t help but think¡ªone creepy guy, knowing that Laura loved Marshmello, had given her a plushie before. While we were making jokes about it, Freddie, being curious, noticed something odd.
He examined the plushie more closely and found a small hidden camera installed inside.
Let''s just say... I was a little more than angry about it.
Then Sam came over to talk to us. "You guys are talking about that loser?" she asked, already frowning.
"When I found out," Sam said, clearly not having been there when the discovery happened, "I really wanted to break some of his bones."
She paused, then added with a touch of sadness, "But then I discovered there wasn''t much bone left to break anymore."
"He tripped," I said neutrally.
"We had an entire group of testimonies to testify it. Even the principal did," I added with a small shrug.
Cher chimed in, wrinkling her nose. "I remember he flirted one time about our surnames being simr. E, e, e."
"And that creepy sexual talk," Carly added, her face showing a rare expression of pure disgust.
"Okay, let''s talk about something better," I said, steering the conversation away.
We all moved to the balcony, admiring the breathtaking view of the ocean as the sun began its slow descent. The breeze was refreshing, and the sound of the waves crashing gently against the shore helped lighten the mood as we shifted to talking about other, happier things.
---
One by one, everyone eventually left, until only Laura and I remained. She stayed close, resting her head gently on my shoulder as we sat together, quietly watching the ocean.
"As this house is really near to yours, I think we need to make out here. As in the car would be too short," I joked, grinning.
Laura joked back,ughing softly, "Knowing you, you would make the car go all the way to Long Beach and then up to Westwood."
"You really know me well, Laura," I said, nodding.
Weughed, then we kissed a little. After a moment, I smiled and said, "By the end of next week, there will be another premiere: My Big Fat Greek Wedding. I happen to know the man who will star in the movie, and I''m also one of the investors." Not a lie, not the entire truth either. "Want to go?" I asked.
Laura lifted her head slightly, smiling at me. "Of course I want to go," she said warmly. "It sounds amazing."
---
Later that day, I had a conversation with my mom.
"Mom, Monica, Rachel, Chandler, Ross, and Phoebe areing for Joey''s movie premiere. I was thinking of telling them they can stay here," I said.
I knew this was my house, and technically I didn''t need to ask for permission. But it was just good manners to talk it over first¡ªespecially because, like it or not, she was the adult here.
Judith smiled warmly and said, "They were the people who were in the Barbados vacation, right?"
"Yes," I replied. "I was in Ross'' wedding... and in another one of his post-wedding."
"Second wedding?" Judith asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Third, to tell the truth," I said, smirking. "But I''ll let them exin it. It''ll be funnier that way."
Judith chuckled. "You really like them."
"Yeah," I said, smiling. "They''re like cool aunts and uncles."
Judith pointed out, "You have uncle and aunt."
I raised an eyebrow. "Uncle Charlie and Aunt Liz? They are the ones I''ve seen in the past two years..."
Judith''s eyes widened and she paused for a moment thinking, then quickly stood up. "Yes, we need to make them feel wee here. I''ll talk to the maids," she said hastily.
Iughed a little and pulled out my phone, dialing Monica''s number.
"Hello, Aunt Monica," I said.
"Hi Jake," she replied warmly.
"So, next weekend will be Joey''s movie premiere," I said. I could hear the joy from the other side; Monica must have put the phone on speaker.
"So, I''m inviting you all to stay here at my house," I continued.
"Are you sure, Jake?" said Monica, a little conflicted.
"Oh,e on, it will be super fun," I encouraged. "I''m a minor, but I''ll call Uncle Charlie and Dad, and there''s Mom here too, to apany with some good wine."
"If any of you find any difort, you can go to a hotel, no big deal," I added.
"Fine," said Monica with a smile.
------
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Chapter 107: The Arrival
Chapter 107 - The Arrival
Chapter 105
They arrived on Friday afternoon.
I opened the door, and there they were¡ªMonica, Chandler, Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe. Each of them carried at least one bag, looking excited but also a little tired from the trip.
As I weed them inside, I couldn''t help but think about what Pepper had mentioned earlier: the premiere would be on Saturday.
Normally, movies premieres took ce on Thursdays.
Still, having it on Saturday meant we had tonight to rx and catch up before the main event.
Everyone looked around, visibly impressed.
"Wow," they all said almost in unison.
Monica turned to me, wide-eyed. "You actually live here?" she asked, her voice full of astonishment.
"Yeah, cool, right?" I said.
Chandler looked around and said, "It''s like we''re in that movie Richie Rich."
"But with 20 more years, right?" I joked.
Rachel pinched my cheek and I said, "10?"
"Better," Rachel said, making meugh.
I smiled and led them further inside. "Come on, let me introduce you to the staff."
I guided them toward the kitchen, where the three maids were waiting.
"This is Emily, Sarah, and Jessica," I said, pointing to each of them in turn.
They all smiled warmly and gave polite greetings, making the atmosphere even more weing.
The maids then escorted Monica, Chandler, Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe to their respective rooms to settle in.
As I watched them head upstairs, I leaned back against the wall, thinking.
We hired three maids, since the house is big. There''s also one professional cook, although Mom still cooks from time to time¡ªand she does it very well. I think she''s really enjoying experimenting with fancy dishes.
Besides them, we have three bodyguards. One of them is stationed at the main gate. Another is my personal bodyguard; he usually goes with me when I visit Uncle Charlie''s house.
So, with Jimmy, my driver, I had eight people employed here.
Besides, there are five more bodyguards outside, stationed in a minivan with equipment, hired by mypany. Pepper had two bodyguards. I told her she should have more, like me, but she declined, saying that for now, two were more than enough.
Unfortunately, different from Jimmy, none of the others are from a known series or movie.
Well, my personal bodyguard could definitely y the role of the Mountain. He''s more than two meters tall, really heavy, and extremely muscr. Even Terrance seems small next to him.
When everyone was returning downstairs, the doorbell rang. One of the maids quickly went to answer it.
Yeah, they are not Berta when ites to doing their jobs.
It was Laura. I had invited her earlier¡ªdeciding not to call the rest of the group this time, just to keep things from getting too crowded.
I introduced her to everyone, and they all greeted her warmly.
After that, we headed to the balcony overlooking the ocean.
On the way, Chandler leaned closer to me and murmured, "So I''m not the only one with a girl out of our league."
I replied amused, "What are you saying, Chandler? She''s totally my league."
He just shook his head with a smile and went to sit with Monica.
When everyone was seated, I asked "Where are the rest?"
Chandler spoke up, "Joey is on his way."
"Mike couldn''te, he has work to do", Phoebe added
I nodded andpleted, "Uncle Charlie wille. Dad said he had something to do..."
Chandler nced around the balcony, taking a better look at the cushions and the miniatures on the table.
"Wow, man, you really like Marshmello, huh?" Chandlermented, amused.
Laura pinched me lightly. I hadn''t told them about the Marshmello deal. And I wasn''t going to tell them now¡ªI''m not Rachel; I don''t want to steal Joey''s thunder.
Rachel, who was sitting on the other side of me, narrowed her eyes yfully. "You''re thinking something bad about me, aren''t you?"
I turned to her with a dramatic gasp. "How could I, Rach? I love you," I eximed.
Everyone aroundughed, and Rachel rolled her eyes with a smile, nudging me lightly with her shoulder.
"Now, say it," she challenged, smirking.
"Are you still Mrs. Geller?" I teased.
Ross choked on his drink, making everyone burst intoughter again.
Right after that, Judith arrived carrying a tray with a few bottles of wine. Up until then, everyone was sipping water. The maids followed her, bringing elegant wine sses and carefully serving each person with a warm, professional smile.
"So, what are you all saying?" asked Judith, sitting down near Phoebe.
Monica smiled and summarized, "About Jake liking Marshmello... and about Rachel and Ross''s marriage."
"We just started," I told with a shrug.
"Let''s kick off with Jake liking the candy guy," Ross said, smirking.
Judith looked at me, immediately understanding, and said, "He''s an incredible guy."
"See? Even Mom likes him. He''s awesome," I added with a grin.
It was Mom who put up the Marshmello decorations
Laura smiled and added jokily, "I think he might have a big head¡ªthat''s why he''s always wearing a helmet."
"I like his songs," dered Rachel.
"Me too!" Monica agreed.
"Especially ''Wake Me Up,''" said Chandler, making a thumbs up to me
"Thank you, Chandler!" I said, grinning.
I heard a chorus of "Oh yeah!" from Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel, probably remembering that it was me who song the music.
We all raised our sses for a toast. (Laura and I were drinking watermelon juice)
Then I sang a part:
?They tell me I''m too young to understand
They say I''m caught up in a dream
Well, life will pass me by if I don''t open up my eyes
Well, that''s fine by me?
Ross said, "Wait, you sound like the person who sings this song!"
Everyone turned to Ross with a deadpan look.
------
Omake:
An agent from the Intergctic FBI stared at the six Friends, focusing mostly on the three women.
"Howe you all feel so normal hanging out with a 13-year-old boy?"
"Jake is like the nephew I never had," Rachel replied. "And he doesn''t even make me feel bad for calling me ''aunt.'' That alone is incredible."
"Same here," Monica added. "He''s like a brother I never had."
"Hey!" Ross protested indignantly.
"A younger brother I never had," she corrected with a smirk.
"Oh, he''s the most mature male friend I have," Phoebe chimed in casually.
"HEY!!" This time it was Ross, Chandler, and Joey shouting in offended unison.
----
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Chapter 108: Laugh
Chapter 108 - Laugh
Chapter 106
We allughed after giving Ross the most deadpan looks possible.
"Seriously, man?" said Chandler, shaking his head.
Ross shrugged innocently. "It was a legitimate question!"
"How could you not know it was Jake?" asked Monica, incredulous.
"How would I know?" Ross asked back, frowning.
"Barbados?" said Phoebe, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
"Oh," Ross muttered as realization hit him. "I was a little drunk," he added, trying to defend himself.
"Yeah, because if you were too drunk, there would''ve been a wedding," I said with a grin.
Everyone burst outughing (except Judith and Laura, who just smiled), and Ross, who shot me a re.
Rachelughed too, but after a moment, she eximed, "Heyy!!"
Theughter only grew louder, filling the balcony with warmth and teasing.
"Now we need to talk about their wedding," said Chandler, grinning.
"Your mother and your girl will like the story," he added, nodding toward Judith and Laura.
"There''s not much to talk about," Rachel said, waving her hand as if it were a normal thing. "Ross and I were drunk and got married in Vegas."
Laura and Judith bothughed at how casually Rachel said it.
"Jake was there making fun of us the next day," Rachel added, chuckling.
We all chuckled, until Mom turned to me with a raised eyebrow and a smile that wasn''t really a smile.
"Did you go to Vegas, young man?" she asked sweetly¡ªtoo sweetly.
Everyone around went "Uuuu" teasingly.
I turned slowly to Judith. "Would you believe if I said no?"
Judith shook her head with an amused smile.
"It''s not a big deal. I couldn''t enter the strip, nor could I bet in the casinos. Believe me, Uncle Charlie tried, even put a fake mustache on me," I said, making everyone burst intoughter.
"So, for me, it was just a normal city¡ªa very normal shiny city."
"So you tried to enter the strip?" asked Laura, teasing.
There was another loud "Uuuu" from everyone.
I lifted my hands innocently. "I mean, bet in the casinos!"
We allughed again. Laura smiled, knowing I was telling the truth.
Ross then said, "Since we''re already talking about weddings and such... we need to tell them about Chandler."
We turned to him curiously.
"When he and Monica had their first fight," Ross continued with a grin, "Chandler showed up apologizing¡ªand ended up proposing to Monica."
Chandler covered his face with one hand as everyone burst outughing again.
"That was embarrassing," said Phoebe, shaking her head.
Laura, Judith, and I winced a little in sympathy.
Chandler, indignantly, said, "I asked for your help too!"
"That''s your fault, Chandler. You asked Ross for advice. Obviously, he was going to suggest marriage," I said, grinning.
"Because that''s his answer for everything!" added Rachel, pointing at Ross.
Both Rachel and I gave each other a high-five as everyone burst outughing again.
After a moment, Rachel rified, "I''m not married to Ross anymore. We divorced."
"Oh-oh, that''s your thing," said Phoebe suddenly to Ross.
"What?" asked Ross, confused.
"Your thing. Your thing. Y''know? You''re the guy who gets divorced," Phoebe said.
"Oh yeah!" everyone else chimed in.
"No-no, that''s¡ªthat''s not my thing! I do not love getting divorced!" Ross protested.
"Yes, you do!" said Phoebe, pointing at him. "This is your third divorce! You love divorce so much you''re probably gonna marry it! Then it won''t work out and you''re gonna have to divorce it, divorcing guy." She paused and then added, giggling, "I''m so drunk."
"Oh, I got one," I said, but stopped myself.
"Say it!" urged Rachel.
"Nah, it''s even meaner than Phoebe''s one," I said.
"Do it," incited Chandler
I said, "I would say, considering the past weddings, that Ross and Rachel''s marriage was actually a sess. I mean, the bride was too drunk to run away, and the groom got the bride''s name right¡ªafter all, he just had to repeat the same name asst time."
I paused and added with a smirk, "And... it was also a financial sess. It was in Vegas, they didn''t need to pay for the party. Ross didn''t even pay for a ring..."
Everyone burst outughing, even Ross.
After a moment, Rachel turned to me, still smiling, and said, "Yeah, that was a little mean"
Before we could say anything else, the doorbell rang. One of the maids quickly went to answer it. A few momentster, Joey and Uncle Charlie walked in¡ªeach with a twin girl on his arm, making their entrance even more lively.
I murmured under my breath, "How have those two not knocked up some girl yet?"
That earned a muffledugh from Rachel and a reproachful re from mom.
---
The next morning, I was sitting at the kitchen ind, quietly having breakfast. The early sunlight streamed through therge windows. I had a te of scrambled eggs, bacon, and toast in front of me, along with a big ss of orange juice.
A few minutester, Rachel stumbled into the kitchen, clearly battling a huge hangover. Her hair was messy and she walked like every step was a challenge.
"Morning..." she mumbled, her voice hoarse.
Rachel dropped into the chair across from me with a heavy sigh, resting her head on the table. "I am never drinking again," she groaned.
I took another bite of toast and muttered, just loud enough for her to hear, "You said that after Barbados too. And in Vegas..."
Rachel just grunted without lifting her head, making me chuckle softly.
I slid a small packet of aspirin and ibuprofen toward her and motioned for one of the maids to bring a special juice blend¡ªsomething for mornings like this.
Rachel peeked, epted the pills gratefully, and downed them with a small grimace.
After a few minutes, and a few careful sips of the revitalizing juice, she started looking a little more alive.
Rachel then said, "You really know how to take care of this stuff."
I smiled and replied, "I lived for about a year and a half at Uncle Charlie''s house (until now). One thing I definitely learned well was how to cure a hangover."
Rachel gave a small chuckle.
Omake:
"...And that day was my Laugh Tail. Jake D. Harper (Jacob David Harper)."
Nico Robin finished reading, then looked up. "That''s it?!" she said, incredulously, while her eyes were turning in deadfish eyes
"Rosss!!" Sanji screamed, biting his shirt. "He married three girls!" (One inferno can be others'' dreams.)
"This Jake seems suuuuper!!" screamed Franky, doing his famous pose.
"He does seem good!" agreed Nami, with a berry in her eyes.
"Shishishi"
------
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Chapter 109: Breakfast
Chapter 109 - Breakfast
Chapter 107
I was still finishing my breakfast when Monica and Chandler appeared in the kitchen, looking almost identical to how Rachel had arrived earlier. Monica was moving carefully, as if any sudden noise might shatter her. Chandler looked equally miserable.
They both groaned a greeting and copsed into chairs around the kitchen ind.
I slid a small packet of aspirin and ibuprofen toward them and motioned for one of the maids to bring another ss of the special juice¡ªjust like I had done for Rachel.
Chandler muttered to Rachel and Monica, "If you ever need proof that we''re not in our twenties anymore... this is it."
I chuckled softly and went back to my breakfast.
Not long after, Ross and Phoebe showed up looking just as miserable. Ross was holding his head like it might fall off, and Phoebe moved as if gravity itself had betrayed her.
Without saying a word, I made the same preparations for them.
A few minutester, Uncle Charlie stumbled in, looking worse than all of thembined, with one of the twins walking beside him. His steps were slow and exaggerated, like he was walking on a ship in a storm.
"Never again," Uncle Charlie grunted. "Never, ever, ever again."
Rachel, still half-sprawled on the table, looked at him and asked with a small smirk, "You''re gonna quit drinking too?"
Charlie shot her a look and replied, "Don''t be ridiculous. I''m gonna quit waking up."
Right behind him came Joey, with the other twin walking at his side, while he bnced a huge te of food in his hands, lookingpletely normal¡ªand annoyingly energetic for this hour.
"Morning!" Joey said cheerfully.
We all looked at him, astonished.
"What??" he said, pointing at me. "He saidst night I could take the food and eat in bed!"
Rachel raised an eyebrow and said, "I don''t think that''s the problem, Joey..."
I shook my head and then turned to one of the maids. "Take one of the same¡ªjuice and pills¡ªto Mom''s room," I said, knowing she would be suffering in silence.
Monica looked at me curiously.
I shrugged and said, "Mom probably doesn''t want me to see her sorry state, like you guys let me see yours. Except for Joey..."
---
Finally, the afternoon arrived, and thankfully, everyone had recovered enough to function like normal human beings. Energy wasing back,ughter returned little by little, and the atmosphere shifted from slow suffering to genuine excitement.
It was almost time for the premiere.
Everyone was dressed impably. The women wore elegant long dresses, each more stunning than thest, while the men were sharp in suits and ties. Joey, in particr, looked like a soap opera heartthrob, making even Monica whistle jokingly as he adjusted his cufflinks with a confident grin.
"Let''s go, guys," I said with a smile.
Everyone gathered near the door, ready to head out for the big night.
As we stepped outside, a long ck limousine was waiting for us by the driveway.
"We''re going in a limo?" Joey asked, visibly excited.
I patted Joey''s back and said, "This is your big day, Joey. We need to do it right."
"Wow, thanks, man," he said, a little emotional, smiling wide.
Joey had made some roles before, but this was by far his biggest one. And if the movie was even half as sessful as the original, it would also be his best-paying project. Like with Carly, Sam, and Freddie, I''m not cheap when ites to people I know and care about.
I smiled at everyone and said, "I will pick Laura with my car. I''ll meet you there."
---
Jimmy had parked near the theater but not directly at the red carpet entrance.
I was being a gentleman, so I quickly got out and opened the door for Laura, helping her out of the car. She was wearing a stunning dress that caught thete afternoon light beautifully.
"This one feels more like a premiere," Laura said with a bright smile.
"Yeah," I agreed, offering my arm. Pepper definitely added more mour to this one, even if it''s still considered a low-budget movie.
As we approached the entrance, I spotted Pepper talking to a few people who looked important¡ªmaybe producers, agents, might even be studio executives.
Watching herugh and gesture confidently, I couldn''t help but think, Wait, if I''m going to release a bunch of sessful movies... isn''t Pepper going to end up like those characters in Chinese novels? Like, "I''m the Hollywood Queen"?
Yeah, let her have it, I thought with a small smile. For me, music is more than enough. I don''t really care much about Hollywood movies besides the money. Nor do I care about that golden bald prize.
"You are thinking something bad," Laura said, looking suspiciously at me.
"Nope," I said without hesitation.
What is up with these women? Yesterday was Rachel...
If I said anything about not caring about the golden baldy prize, Laura would probably be mad.
"You definitely are thinking something bad," Laura insisted, narrowing her eyes at me.
"Stop fooling around and let''s enter the cinema," I said to her.
"You are the one who is fooling around," she said yfully, bumping my shoulder with hers.
---
We finally entered the cinema. The lighting was elegant, with golden ents and soft music ying in the background. We found our reserved seats easily. I sat down, finding myself between Laura and Rachel.
Laura smiled as she adjusted her dress before sitting, while Rachel, already seated, gave me a quick, mischievous smirk.
Then, Laura gave me a look.
"I know, girl, you want to watch the movie," I said, grinning."If not, why would I be here with this giant pot of popcorn?"
Lauraughed softly, shaking her head.
I continued, "Besides the fact that I know you two are going to keep stealing my popcorn... that''s why I grabbed the biggest bucket."
Now, bothughed, and as if confirming my theory, both reached into my bucket and grabbed some popcorn.
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Chapter 110: July info Dumping
Chapter 110 - July info Dumping
Chapter 108
One month had passed since the premiere of My Big Fat Greek Wedding. It was now July, the heat of summer wrapping Los Angeles in its usual buzz.
I was sitting in a modern but cozy meeting room at one of our office buildings, sipping an iced tea as I looked across the table at Pepper.
"So, in one month, the movie made $83,576,526 in gross revenue domestic and $52,777,170 international, with a total of $136,353,696 worldwide," I said, ncing at the numbers on the report in front of me.
"And we''ll probably let it run for another two months in most theaters," I added. "After that, the number of screenings usually drops a lot."
"And Paranormal Activity ended with $298,954,542 worldwide," I continued. "Oh,e on, Pepper, we couldn''t just buy a few more tickets to close it at 300 million dors?"
Pepper looked at me and ignored the questionpletely, changing the subject without missing a beat.
"So you''re really not going to the premiere?" Pepper asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Nah," I said, shaking my head. "And it''s not because of the theme," I added, referring to the uing Brakebroken Mountain premiere.
"I don''t n on going to Lost in Trantion either, or the horror ones like The Conjuring and Annabelle."
They''re good movies, sure, but not the kind I want to watch a second time. Even if they might be slightly different from the originals.
I shrugged and smiled. "I only went to Paranormal Activity and My Big Fat Greek Wedding because I knew some of the actors."
Pepper shook her head. "You''re unbelievable."
I rolled my eyes and said, "Everyone keeps saying that. That became too repetitive..."
Pepper continued, "I sent you almost all the scripts that the Writers Guild of America has for sale. Title and a brief summary. You can pick the next movies to be released."
I looked at her and nodded.
Pepper probably knows I have some kind of future prediction or something like that. Well, anyone with a brain better than a siedy would feel suspicious about the two movies being dark horses, the songs all being hits (not a single flop), obscene returns on stock investments. And the cherry on top, the absurdity of the bets (with a probability of sess close to a lottery ticket).
She knows that I know that she knows. But she never confronted me about it. So it''s basically like we have a tacit agreement not to bring up the subject to avoid making things awkward.
And we are winning in this rtionship. She leans way more toward power, while I lean toward money. Even though the rtionship between money and power is symbiotic, people end up having their preferences. Money without power is looking for trouble, and power without money is fragile. So, even if you choose one, you still need the other.
Pepper broke my train of thought. "About Marshmello, we are going tounch the album next week," she said.
I nodded. "Yeah, you would have to be a recluse not to know. It''s being advertised everywhere."
Pepper just confirmed, "There will be eighteen songs, more than usual for an album. Analysts are already predicting it will be the best-selling album of the year."
I nodded again without showing much reaction.
Doesn''t surprise me. They''re massive hits from the biggest names in electronic music in my past life...
Pepper continued, "We have already closed a deal with the next big singer. Christina Aguilera. And we are opening negotiations with Britney."
Then she added, "After that, we can release the premium version with both of them," making an "okay" gesture.
"Aye, you demon capitalist," I said.
"Says the one who loves money. And we already told everyone that the premium version wouldeter..."
---
After the meeting, I drove back to Uncle Charlie''s house.
I found him in the living room, watching TV with a beer in hand.
"What are you doing?" I asked.
"I''m working," Charlie replied casually.
"You still do that?" I asked, weirdly surprised.
"From time to time," he raised an eyebrow and answered.
Yeah, like almost never, I thought. Uncle Charlie barely worked when I first got here, and after I helped him make even more money, he worked even less. From what I can tell, he still does a jingle or two once in a while (maybe to kill the boredom).
Gramma still works. She probably loves it, and it''s a way to interact with people. Dad just works the bare minimum, seeing only a few of his longtime patients¡ªthe ones he actually likes. Since he doesn''t have to pay alimony (not that it would make any dent in my or mom''s expenses), he''s basically carefree.
He also partially moved back into our old house¡ªthe one Mom and I were living in before. It''s a great ce, even if it''s nowhere near the level of my house in Santa Monica. We had done a lot of renovationsst year and earlier this year... (except for the pipes).
I said partially, because he still lives here, with Uncle Charlie. That''s because I said I didn''t want to move out of here¡ªso, on the days I stay, he stays too. They won''t admit it, but it brought them closer. Turns out, living alone all the time can be pretty lonely.
n then walked in and said, "Hey Charlie, wannae to the movies with us?"
"He can''t, he''s working," I said.
n looked at Charlie, sitting with his beer, and said sarcastically, "Oh what, liver failure?"
"Wonderful. Now I have my doctor here," Charlie replied, unamused.
Well, they still bicker, though...
------
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Chapter 111: July Vacation
Chapter 111 - July Vacation
The air was filled with the sound of waves rolling in gently from the ocean, blending perfectly with the softughtering from the group gathered outside.
Carly, Sam, Freddie, Cher, Laura, Regina, and I were all sitting on the deck, scattered around a mix of lounge chairs and wooden benches. Drinks in hand, snacks spread across a low table.
Laura was curled up beside me, her legs tucked under her as she sipped a cold soda. Carly and Sam were sharing a bag of chips, both asionally tossingments back and forth about a show they''d started watching.
Sam stretched with a loud sigh. "Ahh, vacations are the best."
"Surprisingly, everything''s went smoothly," I said, ncing toward Sam.
She narrowed her eyes. "You wanna say something?"
"No," I replied, holding back a grin. "Just happy to have you in the same grade as us in September."
The group chuckled.
Then Cher turned to me with a smirk. "So, mister number one from our grade, what''s the news?"
I reached under my chair and pulled out a box, setting it on the deck and opening it with a small flourish.
"Here''s the Marshmello CD," I said, grabbing a handful and passing them to Laura on my right and another to Cher on my left.
Both girls began handing them down to the others, making sure everyone got one.
"I saw it in the ads, but I think the design looks cool," Laura said. The CD cover waspletely white, with just the two eyes and the Marshmello smile.
Nothing too creative¡ªbut I liked it.
"And it even has my autograph. So it''s pretty rare," I added with a grin.
Pepper made me create an autograph. But I signed very few CDs¡ªonly for family, close friends, and a few Pepper specifically asked for. None of them will bemercially sold with an original signature, just the printed one thates naturally on the cover.
"Mello and a smile," Sam said, turning the CD around.
The autograph was just the word "Mello" with two X''s and a curve next to it, forming a simple smiling face.
Everyoneplimented it.
Then Carly looked at me curiously. "What about the premium version? You still haven''t told us what it is. And the ads say it''ll include two exclusive songs."
"About that," I said, leaning back a bit. "One of the songs will be with Christina Aguilera."
That instantly earned a round of excited squeals from the girls.
Freddie, on the other hand, stayed quiet¡ªapparently having learned fromst time.
"And the second one?" Cher asked.
"We haven''t locked it in yet," I replied. "Negotiations are still in the early stages, but we might have some newster this week."
"Come on, now you need to tell us," said Regina, as I made a show of mystery just to tease them.
"Okay, I will say it," I said, pausing. "But remember, we don''t really know if she''ll ept."
" Damn, just say it," said Cher, a little impatient.
Iughed and said, "Britney."
Now there were full-on screams, especially from Cher and Regina. A chorus of "Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!" filled the deck.
After a moment, Laura leaned in and whispered to me, still stunned, "You wouldn''t have been so mean to say Britney and mean another Britney, not Spears, right?"
"Nah, that would be too much. Those two would kill me," I said, ncing at Cher and Regina.
I took Laura''s hand gently, rubbing my thumb across it. "And I''m a singer too. I''d love to have Britney Spears in one of my songs."
Especially now that she''s at the top
"Okay, let''s calm down," I said, trying to pull Cher and Regina back from their full-on fantasy trip.
Then I shifted the subject. "I need to say, Cher, you did great in the Titanium clip," I added.
"See, I told you I was natural," said Cher, a little pompous.
"Oh great, we have another Jake," said Sam, joking.
"What she''s not saying¡ªneither is Regina¡ªis that the two of them have been taking acting sses with me for a few months now," Laura revealed, sharing a secret with a sly smile.
"What??" That took me by surprise. And judging by the expressions on Carly, Sam, and Freddie''s faces, none of them knew either.
"Where do you think we''ve been going on Tuesdays and Thursdays?" Cher said with a grin.
"I don''t know... shopping!?" I guessed, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
The two of them gasped indignantly, but then paused, looked at each other, and said in unison, "Makes sense!"
Carly raised an eyebrow. "So... you guys want to be actresses?"
"Yes," both Cher and Regina answered at once.
"We talked with Laura," Cher added. "And we know how hard it is."
Regina nodded. "But we think it''s worth giving a try."
"Huh," I murmured, caught off guard.
I remember seeing a few scripts in the packets Pepper sent me about popr girls. Two stood out to me¡ªClueless and Mean Girls. I''m pretty sure I heard those titles back in my past life. I never actually watched them, didn''t even know who the characters were. But I have a weird feeling those movies are perfect for these two.
Next year, I think I could test it¡ªsee if they can really act in a movie.
I nced at Carly. She seemed more like the spontaneous type. I still think about the iCarly idea. The inte still needs some time to mature, but it could be made into a kids'' show. I''ll talk to Pepper and see what could be done.
Laura nudged my shoulder. "What are you thinking so deeply?"
"Something that I hope you''ll see maybe next year. And might, in the future, involve you," I said with a smile.
Laura looked at me, confused. "Involve me? What do you mean?"
I just winked and leaned back
"You''re being cryptic again," she said, nudging me yfully.
"It''s part of the charm," I replied.
She rolled her eyes, but smiled, and rested her head on my shoulder
She was enjoying herst few days before going back to Canada
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Chapter 112: Old Friend
Chapter 112 - Old Friend
Chapter 110
The next day, I was having breakfast with Charlie when Dad walked in and greeted us.
"Good morning," n said, stepping into the kitchen.
He sat down, grabbed an apple, and nced around casually.
"Hey, did you know that Rose has a master''s degree in psychology?" he asked, to no one in particr.
I frowned. "You dated Rose?"
Charlie looked over his coffee mug. "What''s wrong with you?"
"No, we just talked a little bit" n replied, brushing off the jab.
Berta entered right on cue. "Did you know I''m a founding member of the Mile High Club?"
n blinked. "Really?"
"Yeah. Me and Orville at Kitty Hawk."
She walked to the counter, grabbing a cup. "I''d have done Wilbur too, but we were only in the air for 90 seconds."
n chuckled. "Okay, you''re clearly joking¡ªbut that was funny."
He paused, then added, looking at Berta "But seriously, you and I see each other almost every day, and we barely know anything about one another."
Berta raised an eyebrow. "So you wanna know what goes on beneath this gruff exterior?"
She crossed her arms. "If somewhere inside me there''s a tiny little girl... who once dreamed of bing a famous ballerina?"
"Is there?" n asked, half curious, half shocked.
Berta replied deadpan, "If there is... it''s because I identally ate one and haven''t passed her yet." She took a sip of coffee. "Let me tell you, I am dreading that tiara."
n stood up, unsure how to respond. "Okay. Well, it was nice talking to you."
"Hey, I feel closer," Berta said as she got up and headed into the other room.
Charlie murmured, "Well, maybe Rose isn''t the only one crazy in here."
I nodded in agreement.
n shook his head and said, "By the way, a friend of mine ising over."
Remembering something, he stood up and left the room. Momentster, he returned with a book in hand.
"What''s that?" I asked, seeing my dade back with it.
"My high school yearbook," he replied.
n sat down and flipped it open. "Hey, do you remember a girl named Jamie Eckelberry?" he asked Charlie.
Charlie squinted. "No."
"Yeah, sure you do," n insisted. "She used to hang out at the house all the time."
"Oh, yeah. Eckelberry Hound," Charlie said, suddenly remembering.
n rolled his eyes. "Not a name she was fond of."
Charlie raised his hands. "Hey, I didn''t make it up. I just spread it around. What about her?"
n smiled. "She''s the friend who''sing over. She called the alumni association and tracked me down."
Charlie smirked. "How does that work? They let her sniff one of your sweaters?"
n rolled his eyes again. "She e-mailed me. She''s in town on business, and I invited her over."
Charlie leaned back in his chair. "Great. I''ll get out of your way. Just keep her off the good rug."
n red at Uncle Charlie
"It is not a date" he added, correcting Uncle Charlie
"Well, that just mean, Uncle Charlie," I said, ring at him.
"When did you be a goody two-shoes, Jake?" Charlie said back.
"I didn''t. But I don''t see a reason to be mean to someone just for the sake of being a jackass," I replied.
And added with a smirk, "She could be someone who ends up helping you with something. Or maybe... she turned into a hottie..."
"I doubt it," Charlie murmured.
n handed the yearbook to me.
I looked through it. "Which one is her?" I asked.
n leaned over and pointed.
I stared at the photo and let out a soft, "Huh."
Charlie raised a single eyebrow and looked at me without saying a word.
I cleared my throat. "I''m still against saying something rude," I muttered, "but the hottie part might be a little difficult."
"Oh, look," Charlie said, flipping a page. "You remember Miss Hanrahan?"
"Sure. I had her for sophomore English," n replied.
"I had her in the teachers'' lounge," Charlie smirked.
I snorted.
Then the doorbell rang.
"Oh, that''s Jamie. Be nice," n warned.
"I''m always nice. Ask Miss Hanrahan," Charlie said with a grin.
We all walked into the living room as n went to the door and opened it.
"n," Jamie greeted.
"Jamie," n replied, astonished.
"Woof," Charlie muttered.
"Wow," I said, ncing at Charlie with a clear ''I told you'' look.
Charlie gave me a mocking bow. "I bow to your vast wisdom."
I stepped forward to greet Jamie with a polite smile and handshake. Charlie followed right after me with his signature charm.
After, Uncle Charlie poured a margarita for Jamie and handed n a rum and diet coke.
I looked at the time and turned back to Jamie. "It was really nice meeting you, Jamie. I''ve got to head out¡ªmeeting up with some friends."
She smiled warmly. "Nice meeting you too, Jake."
I waved goodbye and walked out the front door.
---
I met up with Laura, Cher, and Regina an hourter near the beach. We walked along the shore for a while, the waves rolling in gently beside us as we talked about random things¡ªuing movies, favorite movies, and how good it felt to be outside. We sat down on some beach chairs and kept talking.
Eventually, Cher suggested, "Let''s go to this restaurant I know nearby. It''s really good."
"Oh, good. I''m hungry" I said
We headed off toward the nearby street where the restaurant was. It was a fancy ce with elegant decor, soft lighting, and a view of the ocean through wide ss windows.
Once we were all seated at the table, I looked around at the girls and said with a smile, "Ask anything, it''s all on me."
At first, Laura, Freddie, and Carly used to be hesitant when I offered to pay. The thing is, I enjoy eating at fancy ces sometimes, and that wasn''t always affordable for them (at least not untill I gave 2 million dors. Laura has some money saved from her previous works). But I convinced them it wasn''t a big deal for me to pay
Then we all heard a nosy voice from a nearby table.
"Sit down, Manny. You are not going to confess your love to that girl," someone said.
I raised both eyebrows.
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Chapter 113: Old Friend II
Chapter 113 - Old Friend II
Chapter 111
I raised both eyebrows.
I looked over my shoulder and thought, Yep, Modern Family again. Just a few feet away were three very familiar faces¡ªJay, Gloria, and Manny.
I lingered a second longer on Gloria.
Wow, she really is gorgeous.
Then I turned back to face forward.
The timeline is a mess again
"Someone stole that little guy''s heart," I said jokingly.
Cher and Regina rolled their eyes, while Laura looked a little amused.
Then the waiter came by to take our orders. Each of us picked something from the menu, and I went with my favorite¡ªKobe beef.
"Anyone gonna travel in August?" Regina asked.
"...besides Laura," she added a little awkwardly, as if suddenly remembering that Laura would be going back in August.
"You don''t need to be awkward, we''re all good," I said, and Laura nodded beside me.
"I''m going to Europe. This time Portugal and Spain," Cher said.
"I so envy you, Cher," Regina replied. "My dad wants me to go with him to China on some business trip."
"And I envy both of you," Laura said jokingly. "I''ll be working for part of August."
"I might go to Japan," I added. "But I''m not so sure."
Pepper told me there''s going to be a party there for Lost in Trantion. She asked if I want to go. I might, because Japan is definitely a country I want to visit.
"That little creepy is still staring at us," Regina whispered.
"He''s like nine or ten. What is wrong with him?" Cher added.
I lightly smacked the table, startling all three of them just a bit.
"That''s it," I said seriously, turning around.
"Hey, boy," I called out to Manny with a straight face, making him flinch.
Then I broke into a mischievous grin. "Which one of the three did you like?"
"Ouch, ouch, ouch," I muttered as both Cher and Regina kicked me under the table and Laura pinched my arm.
I looked innocently at the three of them. "What? I was curious."
They ruffed andughed afterward.
With a yful smirk, Cher said, "What if he said he liked Laura?"
"I''d say, wee to the team," I replied. "She''ll be back to Canada soon. She''ll break our little hearts...ouch"
Laura pinched my arm again.
I turned to Regina with a humorous smile. "You say ''little creepy,'' but he could turn into a hunk in ten years."
Look to his mother
Regina gave Manny another brief nce. "I highly doubt it," she said afterward.
I leaned back a bit and grinned. "You say that now, but this morning I saw a perfect example of transformation. My dad''s old friend Jamie came over. Back in the day, she was, let''s say... not exactly prom queen material. But now? A stunner. Even Uncle Charlie couldn''t hide the surprise on his face."
We kept talking about it for a while.
Then Cher said, "Your Uncle Charlie was a menace to her. But from that brief moment you saw this morning, you think she wants him?"
"Yeah, she had that look," I said.
The three of them exchanged nces, and finally Regina said, "If I were in her ce, I''d tease your uncle until he admitted he wanted me¡ªthen I''d dump him in that moment."
"Wow, that''s quite the revenge for him," I murmured, not questioning Regina''s wisdom.
We spent the rest of the day walking around and talking, just enjoying each other''spany.
---
As night fell, I headed back to Uncle Charlie''s house.
Just as I stepped into the entryway, I walked into the middle of a heated scene.
"Will you both just shut up?" Jamie snapped. "You''re ruining everything."
"Nice going," n said.
"Nice going," Charlie echoed.
"Say it, Charlie," Jamie demanded.
"Say what?" Charlie asked.
"Say that slick, cool Charlie Harper finally wants Eckelberry Hound."
"You knew about that name?" Charlie blinked.
"That name scarred me for life," Jamie shot back. "It''s the reason I haven''t eaten a carbohydrate since college."
"Well, you do look good," Charlie offered.
"You''re damn right I look good... you smug, shallow son of a b*tch. I have spent years working and sweating and dreaming... about the day that I would be able to rub your smarmy nose in it."
"Okay, I''m getting mixed signals here," Charlie muttered.
"This is the signal, Charlie: You can''t have this. Not now, not ever. Never, never, never!" Jamie screamed.
"You know, I didn''t make up the Eckelberry Hound thing," Charlie defended.
"But he did spread it around," n chimed in. "I was always your friend."
"Oh, please. I spent years throwing myself at you, friend. ying stupid nerd games on my bed with my shirt open, buddy. Hoping that you would kiss me or touch me... or at least notice me as a woman, pal!"
"You knew your shirt was open?" n asked.
"Who do you think opened it?" Jamie snapped.
"But I wasn''t pretty enough for you. You wanted Donna DeMarco... or Maxine Chernikoff, just because they had big boobs... and no excess facial hair."
n stepped forward, looking regretful. "Jamie, I had no idea. I am so sorry. I was a stupid teenager. I guess I just didn''t appreciate you then."
"I guess not," Jamie replied coldly.
"But that was a long time ago. I''m not a stupid teenager anymore. Do you think maybe you could forgive me, and maybe we could try again?"
Jamie raised her chin. "Is that what you really want, n?"
"Very much."
"Well, eat your heart out. You can never have this. Never, never, never!" she screamed again and stormed off. I took a step aside.
Charlie looked to the side and muttered, "Well, I guess we know why she''s still single."
Then he noticed me standing there.
"Oh look who''s back," Charlie said, nodding toward me.
"Well," I said, stepping in, "Regina was totally right. But it didn''t go as nned..."
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Chapter 114: Twin I
Chapter 114 - Twin I
Chapter 112
It had been two days since Marshmello''s album dropped. The morning sun wasing in through the windows, casting a soft light over everything.
That morning, I was at Carly''s house. The four of us¡ªme, Laura, Carly, and Sam¡ªwere sprawled out in the living room watching TV. Be, Carly''s dog, was resting her head in myp.
On the TV, a street reporter was speaking with a bright smile: "Marshmello''s album, Joytime, has already sold over 2.5 million copies, breaking several records and turning into a Multi-tinum album in just two days"
The shot switched to a reporter standing next to a long line of buyers outside a music store.
"As you can see," she said, holding her mic and gesturing behind her, "even after two days, there are still lines forming to buy his album."
The camera then cut back to the studio, where the anchor turned to a seatedmentator.
"It''s clearly an immense phenomenon," the anchor said. "Tell us a bit more about the album, would you?"
Thementator nodded. "The Joytime album has 18 tracks, more than usual, including Friendzone and Titanium featuring Sia, I Need Your Love, Burn and Outside featuring Ellie Goulding, and On the Floor featuring J.Lo."
And he finished, "Happier, Alone, Faded, Hear Me Now, Waiting for Love, Summer, me, Wake me Up, The Nights, My Way, Fast Cars, and Are You with Me."
I thought to myself, The Nights (Avicii), My Way (Calvin Harris), Fast Car (Jonas Blue), and Are You with Me (Lost Frequencies)¡ªthosest four were used to promote the album.
The anchor then asked, "And are we still no closer to knowing who Marshmello really is?"
Thementator replied, "Yes. Months ago, every week a new name would pop up. Now, it''s daily. So even if the real Marshmello came forward, would we actually believe it?"
The anchor followed up, "Would we need an official statement from thepany that manages him?"
"Even that might not be enough," thementator answered. "Thepany has already made statements like ''might be this one,'' ''maybe this one is,'' or ''no, no, no, this time this one can possibly be...'' They would need tounch a major campaign, clearly revealing the name, to make everyone believe it."
I chuckled. Yeah, Susie¡ªmy PRmander¡ªis a troll (she will probably hit me if I said this to her). Well, she said that in this scenario, the best thing is to just y dumb.
Besides, Regina''s dad is friends with Rupert Murdoch, and Pepper has other powerful connections. That kind of strategy hasn''t caused any major bacsh for Marshmello.
The anchor leaned in slightly. "What about the premium version of the CD? Any updates on that?"
Thementator smiled. "The release is scheduled for mid-August, and we''ve got some hot news about one of the tracks¡ªit will feature Christina Aguilera."
The recording with Christina Aguilera was done yesterday, with the song ''Feel This Moment''(Pitbull). Pepper purposely leaked this info.
"Still makes me numb sometimes, that it''s you," Laura said, looking at me.
"Yes," Carly agreed. "So many people trying to figure it out, and he''s right here..."
"...with my dog in hisp," she added.
"Nah, I think it''s okay," Sam said,pletely unfazed, by my side.
Laura turned to her. "So, Sam, what''s going on with you, want to talk about it?"
Sam had been acting a little different this morning.
She ruffed a little and said, "My sister''sin'' home for a few days and I''m peeved off about it, okay?"
"It''s just three days. You can deal with it," Carly chimed in.
"Wait, you have a sister?" I asked, surprised, turning my head to her.
"Yeah, Mnie," Sam replied.
"This isn''t one of your pranks, like the ones you pulled on Freddie, is it?" I asked.
Freddie is very gullible, so Sam pranked him a few times this vacation (all harmless).
"No, she really has a sister," Carly said. "But Sam hates to talk about her."
Laura and I gave her the same exact look¡ªan unspoken ''why?''
"My twin goes to a fancy boarding school, on a schrship, she gets perfect grades, never gets in trouble, always has clean hair. She makes me sick," Sam exined.
"Oh,e on, she''s sweet," Carly argued.
"Wait, wait," I said, raising a hand. "There''s a twin of Sam, and we got the bad one?"
Sam gave me a few light punches.
"I''m joking, I''m joking," I added quickly, pulling her into an embrace.
After I let her go, I said, "I don''t know if I want to meet her. A nerdy goody two-shoes Sam? Eww, gives me the creeps."
"Right?!" Sam agreed enthusiastically.
We bumped fists and followed it up with a high-five.
"You two... what am I gonna do with you two..." Carly murmured, shaking her head.
Just then, my phone buzzed. I nced at the screen and saw Pepper''s name.
"Sorry, guys," I said, standing up. "I gotta take this."
I stepped out of the room to answer the call.
"Hi, Pepper."
"Hello, Jake. I''m calling to talk about the deal with Britney. There are two things. First¡ªshe liked both songs we offered, the feature on ''Symphony'' (Clean Bandit) and ''Toxic''. But she wants to keep ''Toxic'' as her own and have you feature in it instead."
"I''m okay with that," I said.
Toxic was probably Britney''s most famous song, and it didn''t blend that well with Marshmello''s sound¡ªnot that I was trying too hard to make everything fit. ''Burn'' and ''On the Floor'' didn''t either.
"And the second?" I asked.
"That''s more of a personal request," Pepper replied. "She wants to meet you¡ªwithout the helmet. She''s even willing to sign NDAs with very specific uses."
"Huh." That caught me off guard. "I don''t really know what to think about it... I''m not against it. What''s your opinion, Pepper?"
"I talked to Susie," she said. "We think it could be a good move to build a rtionship with her. And if she does something stupid, we already have countermeasures ready to diffuse the situation. It''s your call..."
"But you don''t need to decide now. The first point was the main one to close the deal. That part we can sign. If you''re notfortable with the meetingter, we can cancel it."
"Okay. That went faster than I expected." I said
"Jake, you sold 2.5 million copies in two days. Even she can''t do that. And her n is to release her albumter this year, after finishing recording in August. Her agent was the one who encouraged her to ept the deal."
------
A/N: Any idea of a song Britney could sing (feat)? The ones I picked feels a bit off (there will be more in the future), but it is what it is
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Chapter 115: Twins II
Chapter 115 - Twins II
Chapter 113
After the call with Pepper ended, I stood still for a moment in the hallway.
I pocketed my phone and walked back into Carly''s living room. The girls were still lounging, Be quietly resting in her spot.
"Good news!" I said, while patting Be''s head.
But the reaction wasn''t what I expected. They just looked at me briefly, then went back to what they were doing.
After a moment, I raised an eyebrow and said, a little indignant, "No one''s going to ask?"
The three of themughed.
"We already know you, suspense boy," Sam said, mocking.
"And if I said it''s about Britney singing, what''re you gonna do?" I shot back, grinning.
"What?!" they all screamed at once.
Laura immediately scooted closer to me, eyes wide.
Sam leaned in too, nearly shoulder to shoulder.
Carly stood up and walked over, positioning herself right in front of me.
"We closed the deal. It will be two songs," I said.
"We''re gonna meet Britney?" Laura asked excitedly.
"Yes, pretty cool, huh?!" I replied with a smile.
The four of us kept chatting about it¡ªand other random things¡ªuntil eventually Laura and I got up.
"See youter at the smoothie store?" I asked.
"Yes," Carly said.
"Where are you going?" Sam asked.
"We''re gonna enjoy ourst days," I said, then made some obnoxious kissing noises.
Sam kicked me, Carly booed, and even Be barked in protest.
I gasped in mock betrayal. "Even you, Be...?"
"Come on," Laura said,ughing as she pulled me by the arm
---
After a while, Laura and I made our way to the smoothie store. Just as we were approaching, we saw Sam walking out with arge smoothie in hand.
She raised an eyebrow at us. "Took you long enough."
We exchanged quick goodbyes, then headed inside.
Freddie and Carly were already there, sitting at one of the corner tables. As soon as they saw us, Carly waved us over.
We walked up and sat down with them and ordered two smoothies.
Just momentster, a girl who looked exactly like Sam walked out from the bathroom
"Hey, Freddie," she said with a bright smile.
"You must be Mnie. I''m Jake," I said, offering a friendly smile.
Laura followed up, giving a small wave. "Hi, I''m Laura."
"Oh, not you two too," Freddie muttered, shaking his head.
"Where''s Sam?" Mnie asked.
"Oh, she had to go back," Carly replied.
"Yes. And isn''t it interesting how Sam had to leave right before you showed up here?" Freddie added, narrowing his eyes to Mnie.
"Is he still on this?" Mnie sighed.
"Uh-huh," Carly said, nodding.
"I will say it''s impressive that you changed your clothes and hair so fast," Freddie continued.
"Freddie, I''m really Mnie. I''m really Sam''s sister," she said.
"Oh, are you?" Freddie challenged.
"I am," Mnie insisted. "Anyway, I gotta go meet my mom at the clinic," she added as she stood up
"Wait," he said. "Since you''re Mnie, how would you like to go on a date with me this Saturday night?"
"Oh," Mnie blinked. "Well, that''d be really cool. I''d love to."
"Oh, you¡ªreally?" Freddie asked, surprised.
"Sure," Mnie replied.
"Okay then."
"Okay. Bye," she said with a smile.
And the two of them walked out together (Freddie needed to go too), making the moment a little more awkward
"What just happened?" Laura asked, intrigued.
"My boy''s all grown up," I said with a proud smile. "He has a date tomorrow."
Carly finally snapped out of her daze. "Wow, that came out of nowhere."
"Carly, exin please," I asked, turning to her.
"Freddie thinks we''re pranking him, and Mnie is fake¡ªlike it''s Sam in disguise," Carly exined.
"Yeah, that''s what I was guessing..." I said, nodding.
"And you didn''t think of warning him?" Laura asked, raising an eyebrow.
"I don''t see the harm in it," I shrugged. "He even got a date."
We allughed.
---
On Saturday night, Laura and I went to a teen-friendly party¡ªno alcohol was being served. Cher and Regina couldn''te because they had to travel with their families.
Laura was sitting beside me at arge table filled with members of the football team. Terrance was right next to us, still wearing his letterman jacket. The party was in celebration of the football team''s big win earlier that afternoon¡ªthey had just clinched the regional championship.
I leaned back and waved at a passing waitress. "Come on, bring more food, please," I said, even though the table already looked like a medieval tavern banquet.
"Don''t we have enough food?" Laura asked, surprised.
"Are you not seeing these orcs?" Iughed, ncing at Terrance and the rest of the team.
"Come on, guys, let''s eat! There''s more toe!" I shouted.
That earned a round of cheers and a few loud whoops from around the table.
"Now you''re like a shaman orc," Laura said yfully.
"When did you be a nerdy?" I asked, surprised.
"I know a thing or two," Laura replied with a wink.
Then Terrance leaned toward me and pointed across the room. "Isn''t that Freddie and Sam?" he asked, nodding toward a distant spot near the long couches.
From where we were¡ªfar from the dance floor and lounging areas¡ªI could see two familiar figures sitting together in conversation.
"Not really, that''s Mnie¡ªSam''s twin sister," I replied casually.
Then I added, "Hey, Terrance, do me a favor. Tell the boys if some idiot tries to interrupt those two, to kick his ass."
"You betcha," Terrance said, cracking his knuckles with both fists.
After a good while of eating, most of the guys now had a girl sitting beside them. Terrance was with a really tall girl¡ªthough she still looked small next to him.
Then, a slow song started ying. Laura stood up and gently pulled me with her toward the dance floor.
While we danced, she leaned in and whispered, "You''re dancing well."
"It''s not just Regina and Cher who''ve been taking secret lessons," I replied with a chuckle.
Dancing isn''t just useful for a singer like me¡ªit''s also for moments like this.
As we swayed, I nced across the room and spotted Freddie and Mnie sharing a kiss.
"And heee scooores," I muttered with a grin.
Lauraughed softly and leaned closer. "You''d rather watch your friend kiss someone... or kiss me?"
I didn''t say a word¡ªI just kissed her.
------
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Chapter 116: Twins III
Chapter 116 - Twins III
Chapter 114
The next day, Laura, Carly, and I were at my ce in Santa Monica.
"I can''t believe you didn''t go, Carly," I said, referring to the partyst night.
"I was with Sam..." Carly replied with a shrug. "And Sam didn''t want to go to the same ce that Mnie was."
She murmured, "...and see her dating Freddie."
"About that," I said, "they kissed."
There were a lot of people at the party¡ªCarly and the rest would hear about it sooner orter. It''s not like they were being discreet about it, especially kissing right in the middle of the dance floor.
"They did?" Carly said, astonished.
Just then, the doorbell rang. A momentter, Freddie appeared at the door.
"Look who''s here," I said with a grin.
Freddie stepped in and greeted everyone with a wave.
Noticing he looked a little awkward, I asked, "What is it, Freddie?"
"I can''t believe I kissed Sam for the second time," he replied.
"You kissed Sam?" Laura asked, trying to sound surprised.
We all looked at her, and she quickly added, "Yeah, Jake is better at this¡ªeven though I''m the actress..."
"Now you''re ndering me," I said. "And no, Freddie. You kissed Mnie."
"Can we stop this?" Freddie said, clearly still thinking it was a prank.
"Freddie, Mnie is real," I said. "They''ll be here soon."
Freddie looked a bit skeptical, but we kept chatting casually until the doorbell rang again.
Momentster, Sam and Mnie appeared. Mnie greeted everyone with a cheerful "hi," while Sam gave a more subdued "hello".
"There are two of them?" Freddie said, astonished.
"Yeah, and you kissed both," I murmured close to him.
Carly, who was beside me, jabbed me in the ribs.
Freddie red at me but then gave a small smile and murmured, "Yeah, I did."
The six of us sat down, gathering around the table. Sam immediately began attacking the food that wasid out, wasting no time at all.
"How could you make out with Freddie, Mnie?" she said through a mouthful.
Freddie choked on his drink.
"What? He''s adorable," Mnie replied, ncing at him with a yful smile.
He coughed a bit and turned red with embarrassment.
"I can''t believe you two are sisters," Carly said.
"Me neither," they both responded in unison.
"You know, one time she tried to convince me I was adopted?" Mnie added afterward.
We allughed about that.
"So are there any more secrets we need to know about your family, Sam?" I asked.
"Not that I can remember," Sam replied, though her tone didn''t exactly convince anyone.
Mnie chimed in, "I don''t know what you already know about our family, but here''s a fun fact: our mom also has an identical twin."
"Huh, it is a fun fact..." I repeated absentmindedly.
The six of us ended up talking the whole afternoon away.
---
In the blink of an eye, the end of July arrived¡ªand with it, the recording with Britney.
Pepper and I were gathered in one of the many recording studios at the facility.
This particr studio belonged to one of our subsidiaries¡ªJDS, a joint venture between JD Company and Sony Music. We held 51% of the shares. As Pepper always said, we didn''t need topete on every front. Sometimes, it was smarter to partner with a giant.
And with our ten-year agreement in ce, I wasn''t worried about being swallowedter. Ten years from now, forget about a subsidiary like Sony Music, I could probably buy Sony entirely.
We''ve already signed with Evanescence, Justin Timbeke¡ªwho, until recently, was part of the boy band ''N Sync¡ªand Maroon 5, which regrouped and added James Valentine to their lineup.
Also, Avril Lavigne, who fired Cliff Fabri and signed with us instead (recording+agent)
Thus, no famous artists yet. But out of all of them, the most debatable would be Maroon 5 (considering, cough, I''ll be singing their songs before they even release them. It''s not stealing if they never had it).
"So, My Big Fat Greek Wedding passed $330 million worldwide?" I asked Pepper.
"Yes. Brokeback Mountain is nearing $90 million worldwide," she replied.
"It''s because of prejudice. Why can''t everyone be like me? I don''t care what people do with their own holes at home¡ªI just want to take their money. I mean, cough, sell something, and then take their money," I added with a smirk.
Pepper just rolled her eyes but added, "But Brokeback Mountain was very well received by the critics. We might ever win an Oscar..."
---
I went to get dressed in the Marshmello outfit. A few minutester, I came back fully suited.
"Jake, have you decided?" Pepper asked.
"Yes, I''m going to introduce myself to her," I said. "But it needs to be done with a proper ta-da¡ªpulling off the helmet."
At that moment, more people entered the studio¡ªCher, Regina, Laura, Carly, Sam, and Freddie. Right behind them came the adults: Charlie, n, Judith, and Evelyn.
I walked over to Cher and Regina. "You two are incredibly calm," I said, surprised.
"We''re tired," Cher corrected. "Pepper introduced us to your personal trainer and said we could onlye if we worked out with her this morning."
"Wow, you met that demon," I said with pity.
Yeah, I had a personal trainer. She is a demon. But the results are excellent, I nced down at myself
"She made us run 10ps," Regina said with fake teary eyes.
Then the moment everyone had been waiting for finally arrived¡ªBritney walked into the room alone.
Before Cher and Regina could scream, I quickly covered their mouths with my hands.
But then, everyone heard a high-pitched, girly scream of "It''s Britney!"
My eyes twitched.
Everyone turned toward the source of the shout.
"I''m sorry, I''m sorry," n said, noticeably embarrassed.
I facepalmed (in my helmet)
------
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Chapter 117: Recording Day
Chapter 117 - Recording Day
Chapter 115
Everyone turned back toward Britney, who paused for a second, slightly amused by the awkward silence that followed n''s outburst.
"It''s okay," she said with a polite smile. "I''m used to... enthusiastic wees."
n nodded nervously, Judith gave him a sideways re, and Charlie muttered, "That''s going in the family history."
I took a step forward. "Hi," I said. "I''m Marshmello."
"Britney Spears," she replied, shaking my hand. Her eyes lingered on the Marshmello helmet for a moment, then she hesitated. "Can you take the helmet off?"
"I can, but please don''t share it," I said.
"I wouldn''t. I gain nothing from it. On the contrary, the fine and those uses are kind of... Spartan," she replied with a mildly offended tone.
I slowly lifted the helmet, revealing my face.
Britney''s eyes widened in surprise. She blinked, then narrowed her gaze with a puzzled expression. Tilting her head slightly, she said, "I''m sorry... but who are you?"
I gasped. A few muffledughs were heard around the room. Cher and Regina couldn''t hold back and burst into soft giggles.
"I''m Jake Harper," I said. "And you''re totally right. I''m not someone famous. And I don''t want to be anytime soon¡ªthat''s why the mask."
"Damn it, I thought you were someone I would know," Britney replied a little frustrated.
"I''m sorry, I didn''t mean it like that," she added quickly.
"Nah, it''s okay. I''d feel the same if I were in your shoes," I said.
"I know this has already been discussed, but are youfortable interacting with everyone here? If you''re feeling uneasy..."
"It''s fine. I''m already used to it," Britney said with a smile.
"Because I''m the one starting to feel ufortable. Feels like there are hungry eyes staring at my back..." I joked, making Britneyugh a little.
"Come on, let me introduce everyone," I said. "That''s Cher and Regina," I pointed, as they barely held back their excitement. "Over there are Carly, Freddie, Sam, and Laura."
Then I turned slightly and gestured toward the others. "And those are my family¡ªn, Charlie, Judith, and Evelyn."
Pepper spoke up, "Let the two of them go into the booth. Later, if there''s time and Britney agrees, we can all talk more."
I nodded, and the two of us entered the booth.
"You''re different from what I expected," Britney said as she settled into her spot. "I thought you were older. Are you like sixteen or seventeen?" she asked, eyeing me curiously.
"I''m thirteen, but my birthday is this weekend," I replied.
"What?? You''re thirteen??" Britney said, visibly shocked.
"So where is all this musicing from?" she asked, still trying to process it.
"I''m a genius," I said, without blinking.
She narrowed her eyes slightly. "But some of them... like ''Toxic,'' for example, are..."
"Whoa, whoa, let''s not talk about difficult things," I interrupted quickly.
Why couldn''t she just be clueless about this like everyone else? (where is the si logic in her?)
"Okay," she said, nodding slowly. "But can we start with ''Toxic''?" she asked. "I really liked that song."
I nodded, and we stepped into ce. Then Britney began to sing:
? Baby, can''t you see I''m calling?
A guy like you should wear a warning
It''s dangerous, I''m falling ?
Unlike the original, ''Toxic'' now carried a more electronic beat¡ªan unmistakable Marshmello touch pulsing beneath Britney''s vocals.
After that, we moved on to ''Symphony.''
---
Later that evening, everyone was back at the house in Malibu.
I was watching Cher and Regina with a look of pure satisfaction on their faces. "These two..." I murmured while I was resting my head in Laura''sp
"And what about Jake''s birthday party this Sunday?" Sam asked, snapping them both out of their daydream.
"It will be incredible," said Cher. "The best party anyone in our school has ever seen."
"Yes, we already hired everything, and we have a backup too," said Regina.
"How many people are actuallying in the end?" I asked.
"You don''t know?" Freddie said, astonished.
"Four hundred people," Cher answered.
Regina added, "Most of them are from our school, but there will be plenty of people from other schools too."
"Only the popr ones," she added with a smirk.
---
The day before my birthday, I was at the Santa Monica house with Laura. The sun had already begun to set. We were lying on the couch
I grabbed the DVD.
"Hey,e on, let''s watch it on the TV," I said, getting up and walking over to connect it.
The screen lit up, and the video started withst year''s clip¡ªn, Charlie, and me singing ? Men men men men, manly men ?.
Right after that, the second video began. It had the same theme song, but it was clear I had grown since the first. This time, the three of us were each holding a top hat, passing it from one to another in a kind of choreographed goofiness. The background was a bright blue sky.
"Cool, right?" I said, ncing at Laura with a grin. "This is a family men tradition now. Days before my birthday, I record with my dad and my uncle."
"That is... actually nice," Laura said, surprised. "I thought it was a littleme at first, but it''s actually pretty cute."
"Cute??" I gasped dramatically. "Didn''t you hear the song? It''s manly men."
We bothughed, teasing each other yfully.
Then my phone buzzed with a message. I reached over, picked it up, and checked the screen.
"Hey Laura, can you help me with something?" I asked.
"Sure," she said.
I handed her my phone and pointed to the screen. Her eyes widened as she read.
"You''re texting with Britney??" she said, shocked.
"Yeah, we exchanged numbers... check the other messages," I said casually.
------
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Chapter 118: Fourteen
Chapter 118 - Fourteen
Chapter 116
Laura tapped through the messages on my phone, her mouth slightly open.
"She''s... funny," she said, raising an eyebrow. "And actually, really sweet."
I nodded. "Yeah, I was surprised too. She''s more down-to-earth than I thought."
"But what do you think?" I asked.
Laura gave me a yful look. "What exactly do you want my opinion on? Whether she''s flirting with you?" she joked.
"No! That would be a little creepy. I told her that I''m thirteen, and I''ll be fourteen tomorrow (Britney is 19 years old). Besides, I didn''t feel any flirting going on," I said quickly. "And I wouldn''t ask you something like that anyway..." I added.
"I know, I''m just kidding," Laura said, smiling. "Honestly, you don''t even look thirteen. You could easily pass for sixteen or seventeen. The way you text is definitely not how a thirteen-year-old would write. Whether it''s the content or the way you express yourself."
"By the way, everyone doesn''t know you''re thirteen, right?" Laura asked.
"Yeah," I said with a mischievous smile. "They''re going to be surprised." Iughed.
"And about Britney?" I questioned again.
Laura gave her opinion thoughtfully. "She seems a little lonely. I''d say that in the music world, you tend to have fewer connections with your peerspared to the acting side of things."
"She''s been famous since she was young," I added.
"I think she wants a friend," Laura continued. "That day, you didn''t ogle her or treat her differently. And in your messages, you talk to her normally too¡ªnot eager to impress or tter her."
"That was our idea," I said. "Having a friendship with another star. But now that I think about it, it seems a little troublesome."
Lauraughed. "You must be one of the few people who''d think being friends with Britney is troublesome. Youzy bum," she said, nudging me yfully.
Then we kissed
---
The next morning, my birthday finally arrived.
Today, I was officially fourteen.
Cher, Regina, Freddie, Sam, Carly, and Laura arrived at eight in the morning. Cher and Regina wore stylish sunsses. Freddie, Sam, and Carly followed close behind, chatting excitedly as they walked up the steps.
"Birthday boy in the house!" Sam announced loudly, throwing her hands up.
"Happy birthday, Jake," Carly said, handing me a small wrapped box.
The others chimed in with birthday wishes. Laura leaned in and gave me a quick kiss on the lips
"You guys didn''t have toe this early..."
"No, we need to make sure everything is fine," Regina replied, receiving a nod from Cher.
"We came to help too," Laura, Carly, and Freddie said almost in unison.
"I came for the breakfast," Sam smirked.
Iughed at Sam''s honesty and waved them all inside. I had already spoken to the maid about theming early, so a full breakfast banquet was nearly ready in the dining room, the smell of fresh pastries and warm waffles already filling the air.
That''s when n and Judith appeared, both smiling warmly as they walked in.
"Happy birthday, son," n said, giving me a hug,
Judith stepped forward with a warm smile and wrapped me in a gentle hug too.
Then she went to the kitchen and returned with a small birthday cake.
"I thought we could sing happy birthday now too," Judith said kindly. "Since you''re with your closest friends, it could be something more private and special." n stood nearby with the video camera already recording, capturing everything with a proud smile on his face.
Everyone stood up to sing happy birthday¡ªeven Sam set down her pastry to join in. But just as Judith started cing the candles on the cake, Regina narrowed her eyes.
"Wait, why are you putting a 14-year-old candle?" she asked, confused.
"I''m turning fourteen," I said without blinking.
"You''re fourteen????" Carly, Sam, Freddie, Regina, and Cher all screamed at once.
"Howe you''re fourteen?" Sam blurted out, eyes wide in disbelief.
I turned to Sam and said, "Well, when you''re born in 1987 and have a birthday in 2001, you turn fourteen."
"You want a beating, birthday boy?" Sam said, mocking me
"Wait, what? You''re fourteen? I thought you turned sixteen!" Cher said, shocked. "You know what that means?" she asked.
I leaned closer to Cher and Regina, lowering my voice just enough. "That means you two were cougars?"
Both of them gasped indignantly.
"We bought you a car, you prat," Regina shot back.
"You bought my son a car?" n said, surprised, still holding up the video camera and filming everything.
"Don''t worry, I have a driver, remember?" I said.
"But it''s a sports car," Cher added. "There are only two seats. That would beme."
"Ohhh," I said, stepping forward to hug them both.
As I leaned in, I whispered, "That really makes you two seem like cougars."
They both jabbed me in the ribs at the same time.
"Come on, don''t be mad at me," I said, putting on my best puppy eyes.
Cher and Regina exchanged a look.
"Just because you introduced us to J.Lo," Regina began.
"And Christina Aguilera," Cher added.
"And Britney," Regina finished.
They both squealed.
"We forgive you, our baby friend," Regina said, pinching one of my cheeks.
"Yes, our little beansprout," Cher said, pinching the other.
"Get out, you b*tches," I said,ughing as they continued teasing me.
"Howe you''re in 9th grade?" Carly asked, still piecing things together.
"I jumped two years," I said casually.
"He could''ve gone to college if he wanted," n added proudly, still behind the camera, clearly bragging.
"What??" everyone yelled in unison.
------
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Chapter 119: The Birthday Party
Chapter 119 - The Birthday Party
Chapter 117
"Wow, I knew you were smart..." Carly said, still blinking in disbelief. "But seriously¡ªwow."
Judith pped her hands with a gentle smile. "I think it''s time we sing happy birthday."
Everyone gathered closer, forming a loose circle around the small cake as Judith carefully lit the candles. Cher and Regina stood on either side of me, still mock-ring, while Laura held onto my arm with a soft smile.
The group began singing "Happy Birthday," slightly off-key but full of warmness.
---
After the singing and breakfast, Cher and Regina exchanged a look.
Regina was the first to speak. "We''ve already set up thirty-five portable toilets. Even though the venue has spacious bathrooms, we thought it''d be better to add more."
She nced at Cher, who nodded in agreement.
"Twenty security guards were also hired," Regina continued, "and they''ll be positioned throughout the house, especially in the party hall."
She went on, "There will be four people, in addition to your maids, making sure everything stays clean, thirty-five waiters, and one DJ for the entire party."
Cher continued, "We also set up food carts, a mocktail ind with alcohol-free drinks made with fruits and decorations, a game area with an air hockey table, foosball, and arcade machines."
And both of them said together, "And many Photos Booths!"
I smiled and said, "I love you, my little bees."
---
By 2 p.m., everything was ready and set up to wee the guests. I looked around at everything with a smile on my face.
I spotted Sam already at the cotton candy station, grabbing a big one for herself. I turned to Carly and asked, "How can she eat so much? And where does all that food even go?"
"I don''t know either," Carly said, amused.
Even though the party was supposed to start at 3 p.m., some guests had already begun to arrive.
Terrance, Parker, and the rest of the football team showed up early and came over to congratte me with wide smiles and loud cheers.
By the time it was close to 3 p.m., there were already over a hundred guests. Music was ying loudly, and at that moment, Destiny''s Child was sting through the speakers. I greeted people at first, but quickly slipped away¡ªotherwise, I''d be stuck there all afternoon. I left the job of weing guests to a few waiters and security staff.
I was sitting in what Cher proudly called the ''VIP area.'' With me were Laura by my side, Carly, Freddie, Terrance, and Regina. Cher and Sam were off somewhere else.
Regina leaned in and whispered in my ear while Destiny''s Child yed, "You could get a song with Beyonc¨¦."
Iughed and shook my head.
Still, I couldn''t help but think, I could get Beyonc¨¦ after she left Destiny''s Child.
After a few more minutes, more and more people arrived. I took a quick walk around, greeting a few guests and receiving their birthday wishes before heading back to the table.
"Yeah, there are some I never saw before. And a few don''t even know it''s my birthday," I said, looking around.
"I told you to put a giant photo of yourself at the entrance," Cher chimed in, earningughter from everyone at the table.
"So what are we gonna do now?" asked Laura.
"There''s going to be a Dance Dance Revolutionpetition soon," Carly replied.
"Let''s go," I told, already getting up.
But just before we could head out, two familiar faces appeared.
"Hey Missy! Sheldon! Nice you came," I said, looking at the two of them.
Missy gave me a warm hug. "Happy birthday!" she said with a smile. Then she looked around, visibly surprised by the size and vibe of the party. "What is all this?" she asked
"Cool, right?"
"Totally!" Missy replied with a wide smile.
"Congrattions," said Sheldon, visibly ufortable with the setting.
"Thank you, Sheldon," I muttered under my breath.
Howe Sheldon wears adult clothes when he''s thirteen, and ends up dressing like a child when he''s an adult?
"Oh, right. Here, C-3PO," I added, handing him a key.
"What is this?" said Sheldon.
"It''s a key. It opens doors," I said, pretending to teach him.
"I know what a key is," he replied, outraged. "Why are you giving me a key?"
"You can enter the house and show it to one of the security guards. He''ll take you to the room that key opens. I know you don''t like crowded ces, so you can stay there. There are video games, books, and more. Though... I might send one or two people your way eventually."
Missy jabbed Sheldon lightly with her elbow.
"I appreciate your consideration," he replied with his usual formality.
"So?" asked Sam, appearing beside us and curious about who they were.
"Missy, these are my friends¡ªCarly, Sam, Freddie, Regina, Cher, and Laura," I said, introducing them.
Then I added, "I met them at a genius meeting. I skipped two grades, but they went straight to college."
Missy jumped in, "He''s talking about my twin brother, Sheldon. He''s at Caltech. I''m normal."
She then asked, "And what about Paige?"
"I invited her," I replied. "Even told her I''d cover her flight again, but she never gave me a clear answer."
"You have a nerdy, goody two-shoes twin?" said Sam with a smile. "I think we''re gonna get along just fine."
She walked off with Missy.
"Yours is a prodigy, mine are identical twins¡ªwonder which is worse?" Sam added as they walked together.
"She has a massive crush on you," Laura said yfully, looking to Missy
"Who doesn''t?" I replied with a grin.
Laura kicked me lightly and stuck out her tongue. "Too bad, you''re mine today."
Iughed and turned to everyone. "Alright, let''s head to the dancepetition!"
------
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Chapter 120: The Birthday Party II
Chapter 120 - The Birthday Party II
Chapter 118
The dance floor was already set up when we arrived¡ªbright lights, speakers booming, and five Dance Dance Revolution arcade machines lined up side by side. A woman stood nearby with a clipboard, marking down each winner and updating a scoreboard on the wall. A crowd had started to gather, forming a semi-circle around the setup.
Carly was the first to jump up onto the stage. "I call first round! Who''s brave enough to face me?"
Freddie raised his hand. "Let me show you what I got."
"You sure?" Carly smirked. "Because I don''t n on going easy."
I stayed back with Laura, watching as the two of them picked their songs and prepared to start.
At that moment, Charlie showed up and gave me a quick hug. "Happy birthday, kid," he said with a grin.
"Thank you, Uncle Charlie," I replied. "You don''t need to stay. It''s a teens'' party¡ªthere aren''t any single moms here."
"I''ll stay until the cake," he said. Then he leaned in and added with a smirk, "But there are some beautiful waitresses, attendants, and even a beauty security guard."
Iughed. "Just don''t make too much trouble."
---
As time passed, the party kept getting better. At one point, there was even a tug-of-war game happening in the pool¡ªthree people on each side, pulling with all their strength until one team inevitably sshed into the water.
"Want topete?" asked Carly, nudging me.
"Nah, I''d call Terrance and Carter¡ªmy bodyguard (the Mountain), that would be unfair"
"You are no fun," Laura said, rolling her eyes yfully.
I hear someone screaming "Haley, over here", I just ignored as the nosy were everywhere
---
When 6 p.m. finally arrived, it was time for the cake and birthday song.
I looked at the towering, multi-tiered cake that had just been rolled out and blinked. "Am I getting married?" I joked, staring at what looked more like a wedding cake than a birthday one.
Charlie leaned in and murmured, "Well, it seems a little small to have someone inside..."
I scoffed andughed.
"That was Sam''s idea," said Cher, stepping closer to me.
"You let Sam choose the cake?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.
"We didn''t have a better idea. And we thought it would be funny."
And then, everyone began singing happy birthday, voices rising together until the song ended in cheerful apuse. A few voices from the crowd immediately called out for a speech.
Regina appeared with a microphone in hand. "Here, birthday boy," she said, handing it to me with a grin.
I took the mic and walked up to the small tform where the DJ was set up. Turning to face the crowd, I spoke into the mic. "I want to thank everyone for being here! It means a lot to me."
"A special thanks to Cher and Regina, who made this whole party happen!" I added, lifting my hand toward them. "Can we give them a big round of apuse?"
Apuse and cheers were heard
"I''m not going to drag this out. Let''s keep the party going! And right now, I''m kicking off the singingpetition!" I said with a grin, then nodded to the DJ.
As the beat started, I grabbed the mic with a hand and began to sing, my voice echoing across the venue as everyone turned to watch.
Cake By The Ocean (DNCE)
?Nah, nah, nah
Oh, no
See you walking ''round like it''s a funeral
Not so serious, girl, why those feet cold?
We just getting started, don''t you tiptoe
Tiptoe, ah?
?Waste time with a masterpiece
Don''t waste time with a masterpiece
You should be rolling with me
You should be rolling with me, ah?
?You''re a real-life fantasy
You''re a real-life fantasy
But you''re moving so carefully
Let''s start living dangerously?
?Talk to me, baby
I''m going blind from this sweet, sweet craving, whoa, oh
Let''s lose our minds and go fucking crazy
I-I-I-I-I keep on hoping we''ll eat cake by the ocean?
?Walk for me, baby
I''ll be watching you be Naomi, whoa, oh
Let''s lose our minds and go fucking crazy
I-I-I-I-I keep on hoping we''ll eat cake by the ocean?
Carly leaned toward the girls and asked, "Did he create that song just now?" clearly catching the reference to the cake and the beach just a few meters away.
"No idea," said Laura, equally surprised
Cher gave Carly a weird look and whispered to Regina, "That''s what she picked up on? Cake and ocean?"
?Goddamn
See you licking frosting from your own hands
Want another taste, I''m begging: Yes, ma''am
I''m tired of all this candy on the drynd
Drynd, oh?
I finished the song under a wave of apuse.
I walked back to my friends and looked at Carly. "Come on, Carly."
"Okay, just because it''s your birthday," she replied with a smile.
"Did you remember all the song I gave you?" I asked.
"Yes," said Carly, nodding confidently.
Then Carly stepped up to the small tform and took the microphone in hand. As the next track began to y, she started to sing:
Leave It All To Me
?I know, you see
Somehow the world will change for me
And be so wonderful?
?Live life, breathe air
I know somehow we''re gonna get there
And feel so wonderful?
---
By 10 p.m., thest guests had said their goodbyes and left, bringing the birthday party to a close.
The seven of us¡ªme, Cher, Regina, Carly, Laura, Freddie, and Sam¡ªwere sprawled across the living room couches, exhausted but happy.
"What a party. Thank you, everyone," I said, my voice a little hoarse but full of gratitude.
Judith appeared in the doorway, looking around at us. "Anyone want dinner or something to eat?" she asked.
A chorus of tired murmurs and groans rose up in response.
"I want," said Sam cheerfully.
We all turned to re at her.
"What? I''m hungry," Sam said simply,pletely unfazed
------
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Chapter 121: Hernia Exam
Chapter 121 - Hernia Exam
Chapter 119
A few days had passed since the party. Laura had already flown back to Canada.
Now it was just me, sitting at the kitchen table with Dad at the Malibu beach house. We were both eating toast and scrambled eggs. Berta was moving around the kitchen.
Dad looked over at me and asked, "Are you okay, son?"
"Yea, just a little sad. Besides the obvious... Laura was a great friend," I replied honestly.
Before we could talk any further, a girl rushed into the kitchen wearing nothing but an oversized shirt. She looked around, slightly flustered.
"Excuse me. Is one of you n?" she asked.
n looked at me, then at Berta, clearly caught off guard. Slowly, he raised his hand. "I''m n," he said.
"Oh, good," the woman said, visibly relieved. "Charlie wants you toe upstairs."
"Why?" n asked, narrowing his eyes.
"Well... it''s kind of hard to exin," she said hesitantly.
"Try," n replied.
"Oh yeah, try," Berta chimed in with an amused grin.
"He''s kind of... stuck," the woman said.
"In what?" n asked.
"In what?" I repeated, already intrigued.
"Not in anything. Just stuck," she rified awkwardly.
"Would you hurry, please?" she urged.
"Where are you going?" n asked, turning to Berta and me as we both started to follow.
"Oh, like I''m gonna miss this?" Berta said, already on the move.
"Yeah, now I''m curious," I added, getting up from my seat.
---
The three of us headed upstairs and entered Charlie''s bedroom. What we saw stopped us cold.
Charlie was on all fours on the bed,pletely frozen in ce.
"Charlie, are you okay?" n said, blinking.
"Do I look okay?" Charlie replied incredulously, still stuck in position.
"Yes, Dad. Unless Uncle Charlie suddenly changed preferences, he''s obviously not okay," I said, trying to keep a straight face.
"That is not funny, Jake," Charlie muttered.
"I beg to differ," n added with a smile.
"What happened?" n continued.
"I pulled my back," Charlie grumbled.
"I didn''t do anything. I was just lying there and he started screaming," the woman exined.
"I understand," n said with a nod.
"I mean, I wasn''t just lying there," she added quickly.
"We got it," I said, cutting her off before she could go further.
"Damn, I wish I had a camera," Berta muttered.
"That''s okay. It''s all on video," the woman said casually, pointing to the camera
I took the camera before Berta could see it
"n, you''re a chiropractor. Do something," Charlie said through gritted teeth.
"Really? You want my help? Even after you referred to my profession as, what was it... ''urban voodoo''?" n asked, raising an eyebrow.
"I''m sorry. Now help me," Charlie pleaded.
"Okay, okay. We''ll see what we can do," n said, then waved his hands dramatically while chanting, "Oooh-eee-ahh-maa-maaa!"
"Yeah, yeah, okay, very funny, very funny," Charlie said, rolling his eyes.
"Okay, let''s see what we''ve got here," n said, getting serious as he moved closer to help.
"Is this tender?" he asked, pressing lightly on Charlie''s back.
"A little," Charlie replied.
"On a scale of one to ten?"
"I don''t know. Three?"
"Okay, what about this?"
"Four."
"And what about this?" n asked, applying pressure again.
Charlie groaned. n waited.
"I''m gonna need a number, Charlie."
"No, no, I changed my mind," Charlie snapped. "Leave me alone."
"Oh, don''t be a baby."
"Stay away."
"I have to examine you."
"It''s okay. I''m better."
"No, you''re not," n said tly.
I pulled out my phone and started dialing. "Yes, I need a private ambnce," I said into the receiver. "No, it''s not life-threatening. He has some back issues, but nothing serious."
"Jake," n said, sounding a bit indignant.
"What?" I asked. "Let''s just get this over with."
---
After a little while, the private ambnce arrived. A male nurse and a female nurse stepped into the room, carrying a stretcher and a medical kit.
Charlie, who had been lying on the bed groaning in pain, suddenly sat up straight the moment he saw how attractive the nurse was.
"Hello, nurse," he said smoothly.
n muttered under his breath, "Hallelujah. It''s a miracle."
I just shook my head.
---
Cut to the doctor''s office. The three of us¡ªme, n, and Charlie¡ªwere now sitting in the examination room together. Uncle Charlie was once again lying on the table, groaning.
n was mid-rant about something. "Swallow the pharmaceuticalpanies'' propaganda..."
"I''ll swallow it, I''ll sniff it, I''ll insert it rectally. Anything to kill the pain. I''m dying here," Charlie cut in dramatically.
Just then, the door opened.
"Mr. Harper, I''m Dr. Talmadge," a calm, professional voice said.
"Hello, doctor," Charlie greeted her, but the moment heid eyes on her, he suddenly sat up straight (just like with the nurse), grinning like a teenager. The doctor was beautiful.
"You must be kidding me. D¨¦j¨¤ vu? How does his luck even work?" I whispered to Dad, genuinely impressed.
"I wish I knew," n muttered.
I stood up and stretched. "Well, now that everything''s under control, I''m heading out. Bye, Uncle Charlie."
"Thank you, Jake," Charlie said with a smile¡ªthough his attention was already drifting back to the stunning Dr. Talmadge.
---
Later that day, I returned to Malibu after spending some time out with Carly, Freddie, and Sam.
As I walked toward the kitchen, I heard my dad muttering to himself in the living room.
"There''s just no justice in this world..." he grumbled under his breath.
"What now?" I asked.
"Your Uncle Charlie got quality time with the doctor," Dad said, using a clear euphemism.
"Humm. Good for him," I murmured, heading into the kitchen.
I walked into the kitchen and spotted Uncle Charlie already sitting at the table with a beer.
"Hey again, Uncle Charlie," I said.
"Hey, kid," he replied.
I squinted at him. "Howe you look like you''re in more pain now?"
Charlie let out a sigh.
"To tell you the truth, I already knew the doctor..."
"I got it," I said, before he could continue
"How did you get it? I didn''t tell you everything," he asked.
"You probably screwed with her. Now she screwed you back. And judging by the way you''re sitting, it looks like she was trying to scramble some eggs," I replied with a smirk.
Charlie red at me but said nothing.
------
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Chapter 122: Japan
Chapter 122 - Japan
Chapter 120
August flew by in the blink of an eye. First, I traveled with Carly, Sam, and Freddie. Then came another trip¡ªthis time with Regina and Cher. And finally, one with all of them together.
Now, it was just me and Pepper, flying across the Pacific. Destination: Japan.
The ne hummed softly as I looked out the window, watching the clouds stretch out endlessly beneath us. Pepper was seated beside me, reading through a sleek ck binder filled with notes, schedules, and contact lists.
I leaned my head against the seat and let my mind wander.
Judith, n, and Charlie had all passed on the trip. Said they were tired¡ªtired of what, I have no idea, considering none of them actually work. Then again, maybe they just wanted a break from me. Which is insulting, as I''m a very delightful person.
Pepper finally looked up from her binder and started talking. "We''ve acquired the scripts for Chicago and The Pianist. Also, the deal with Mel Gibson for The Passion of the Christ is officially closed."
She continued, "They''ll each have a budget of around thirty to forty million dors, with Chicago possibly getting a bit more. They can''t be considered low-budget anymore, and they''ll take longer to produce. I believe all of them will be set for release next year."
"We also made a deal for Saw," she added. "We agreed to let James Wan as director and Leigh Whannell as screenwriter. With a budget of $1.5 million, I''m not too concerned. It''ll be released in January next year, since we already have two horror films lined up for this year."
"The Conjuring will be released on Halloween, while Annabelle is set for December," I added.
Pepper nodded in agreement.
"And what about Pirates of the Caribbean?" I asked, ncing over at her.
"We''re closing the deal with Disney," she said. "The film itself is already locked in, since they seemed hesitant to spend more than $120 million on the production. Now we''re finalizing the agreement to use the name, since it references one of their theme park rides. But we''ll close it¡ªdon''t worry."
I can''t wait to see their faces when they realize just how big Pirates of the Caribbean is going to be.
Let''s see who gets Marvel, Pixar, and Star Wars first.
Pepper flipped another page and said, "And My Big Fat Greek Wedding is basically closed out¡ªfinished worldwide at $401 million."
"Couldn''t we have stopped at $400 million?" I asked with a smirk. "Like Paranormal Activity¡ªone million more or less doesn''t make much difference."
Pepper grabbed a newspaper from beside her, rolled it up like a baton, and gave me a few yful whacks on the arm. "Don''t be such a brat," she muttered.
I sighed. "Do I really have to go to the party? I mean, I like parties, but not ones where I barely know anyone. And let''s be honest¡ªyou''re going to be the center of attention, especially now that those three films turned into dark horses."
"Sofia wants to meet you in person," Pepper replied calmly.
"Oh yes, Sofia Copp our director¡ªand the one who helped turn my draft into full screeny. She keeps bugging me all the time," I added with a shrug.
Pepper looked at me deadpan. "She said you kept telling her to do whatever she wanted."
"Well, I trust her," I said unfazed.
It was her story in the first ce
"And the actors want to meet you too," Pepper added.
I looked at Pepper, nodding slowly.
She sighed and handed me a portfolio. "Here, there''s a photo and the name. You probably don''t even know who the actors are anyway."
I gasped. "I know them! Like¡ª" I flipped open the portfolio. "Him, Bill Murray!"
I stared at the photo for a second, then hesitated. "Hmm... who is he?"
Pepper, without missing a beat, grabbed the newspaper again, rolled it up like a baton, and gave me another swift whack on the arm. "He''s the lead!" she snapped.
I turned the page¡ªand one of my eyebrows lifted slightly. "Scarlett Johansson?" I said, blinking in surprise.
"She''s the female lead. We had to be a little more careful since she''s only sixteen. But the movie''s PG, so everything''s fine," Pepper exined.
"She''s beautiful," I murmured, ncing sideways at Pepper.
Pepper rolled her eyes. "I''m not going to tell you what you can or can''t do. Just be careful. I know you''re not stupid or a scumbag, but if you ever do something foolish, call me¡ªso we can figure out how to handle it."
"Thank you, Pepper. You''re the big sister I always wished for," I said with a smirk.
"And you''re the little brother I never asked for," she smirked back.
I leaned my head back again and stared at the ceiling of the ne for a moment. The truth was, I hadn''t really gotten involved in the actual production of the movies. I liked to watch movie, not to produce them. That is all Pepper.
My thing is music, after all. I''m not a jack of all trades.
With the release of the premium edition of Joytime,bined sales from both versions have already surpassed five million¡ªmaking it the best-selling album of the year so far (and by far). It''s currently sitting at the top of the Billboard charts.
I already talked with Pepper¡ªwe''re going to keep releasing more songs and a second album at the end of year. The goal is to build up enough hype so that Tomorrond can happen in March 2002. We want to go for two days, with at least 150,000 people each day. But it could be even bigger depending on the buzz.
------
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Chapter 123: Tokyo
Chapter 123 - Tokyo
Chapter 121
The descent into Tokyo was smooth, the city slowly unfolding beneath the clouds like a neon-lit mosaic.
Pepper and I were seated side by side, apanied by three bodyguards who had traveled with us from L.A.
We arrived at the hotel not long after. The lobby was sleek and modern, all marble floors and minimalist lighting. Staff greeted us with deep bows and practiced smiles.
"I really love to be rich," I muttered as I stepped inside.
Our luggage and clothes had arrived ahead of us. Inside the room, everything was already in ce. My wardrobe was fully stocked with outfits I had pre-approved, and the bathroom shelves were lined with all the grooming products I liked to use. By the bed, my favorite snacks had been neatly arranged like a wee gift.
It was like walking into a custom-made luxury bubble.
I walked into the bathroom and found the hot tub already filled and steaming, bubbles foaming gently on the surface. Without hesitation, I stripped down and slid in, letting out a satisfied sigh as the heat wrapped around me.
After a good soak and some time to unwind, Pepper and I decided to do some sightseeing. Wherever we went, we drew stares¡ªnot because of who we were, but because of the sheer size of my personal security detail. With three towering bodyguards following us everywhere, it was hard to blend in.
---
That evening, we attended the party. Even though the film was technically a low-budget project, Pepper had decided to host the event anyway. Her goal was to build ties with key Japanese figures in film distribution and production.
Normally, people like them wouldn''t show up to a party this small. But considering how fast JD was rising¡ªwith three films turning into dark horses and holding the contract of the hottest name in music¡ªthey came.
After chatting for a while with Sofia Copp, I managed to slip away and start a conversation with someone else.
"Hey, nice to meet you, Jake Harper," I said, extending my hand.
"Nice to meet you, Scarlett Johansson," she replied with a friendly smile.
She tilted her head slightly, her expression curious. "So... you''re the writer? The one who came up with the story?"
I nodded. "Yeah. Though I had a lot of help making it into something film-worthy."
She smiled, then added, "You''re younger than I expected."
She leaned in slightly, still intrigued. "How is it to be the screenwriter?"
"This will sound very weird, but I''m not a real writer. I wrote a few things, and two of them got adapted, but it''s not what I love to do."
Scarlett blinked, surprised. "Really?" sheughed a little. "So it''s like a hobby?"
"A bit less than that," I chuckled.
"Wow, I wasn''t expecting that," she said.
"And you? What''s it like being an actress?" I asked.
"Tiring," she said. "But I love it very much. It''s what I want to do for the rest of my life." Her voice carried an unmistakable passion.
"Incredible. That''s why I''m your fan," I said with a smile.
I did like Scarlett''s movies¡ªI always thought she was a good actress. And, of course, there was the obvious: she was stunning.
"Oh, really?" she said with a smile, looking a little suspicious. "Which role did you like me in the most?"
"Huh?" I said, caught off guard.
Oh crap, I thought. I only remember Natasha Romanoff and the movies Match Point and The Ind. None of which have even been released yet.
"Hmm," I murmured, then looked her straight in the eyes and said seriously, "This one, in Lost in Trantion."
She rolled her eyes andughed.
"Oh, oh, I remember!" I added quickly, snapping my fingers. "There''s one with horses!"
"The Horse Whisperer?" she said,ughing. "Do you even know what that movie is about?"
"About horses!" I said with the most conviction I could muster.
Scarlett yfully punched my arm and grinned. "Do you have any shame?"
I ignored her teasing and suddenly lit up. "Wait, I remember another one!" I said, holding up a finger. "Home Alone, with Macay Culkin!"
Sheughed again and opened her arms dramatically. "I was in Home Alone 3¡ªthe one Macay Culkin wasn''t even in!"
"Oh man, that never happened with me," I said.
Scarlettughed genuinely this time
"Come on, let''s sit over there," I said, nodding toward an empty bench in an isted corner of the hall. "I''ve already destroyed your ego and embarrassed myself enough for one night."
She grinned, and together we walked over and took a seat, the party buzzing far from us.
Scarlett looked at me mischievously. "Even though I now know you''re not actually my fan, tell me¡ªwhat do you really enjoy? Since screenwriting isn''t high on your list."
"Music and reading. But I think the first one''s more interesting to talk about," I said genuinely. "Music became my passion. You told me about being an actress for your life¡ªmaybe music would be that for mine."
"So you dream about bing a famous singer?" she asked, raising an eyebrow with a teasing smile.
"Yes, in the future¡ªyes," I said.
"I''ll be rooting for you," she replied warmly.
"Thank you," I said with a grateful smile.
"To be fair, I already sang a famous one," I added, then sang the first lines:
?Feeling my way through the darkness
Guided by a beating heart
I can''t tell where the journey will end
But I know where to start?
"You''re the one who sang Wake Me Up by Marshmello?" Scarlett asked, surprised.
"Cool, right?" I said with a grin.
"Very! I love his songs," she said, then hummed a few lines from Symphony, her voice light and yful.
I joined her, singing along to a few lines. For a moment, it was just the two of usughing and harmonizing like kids sneaking away from the party.
Then we looked at each other.
And before she could talk, I leaned in and kissed her.
------
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Chapter 124: Karaoke
Chapter 124 - Karaoke
Chapter 122
Then she kissed me back.
(I''m not some creepy Loserlowitz. I can tell when someone''s giving me the green light, without been delusional)
Scarlett and I found a more secluded spot to continue our interaction.
---
The next day, we went out to explore Tokyo. We walked through the busy streets, pausing at little shops and food stalls,ughing at random things and pointing out quirky ads. Since neither of us is very famous, we didn''t have to worry about paparazzi.
As we exited one store, she suddenly stopped and looked over her shoulder. "Wait... are those guys following us?"
I turned slightly and spotted two of my bodyguards keeping a discreet distance. "Yeah," I admitted casually. "They''re with me."
Scarlett blinked. "You have security? Seriously?"
I shrugged. "Just a precaution."
She shook her head with a yful smile and added, "You are bing like a puzzle."
After a while, I suggested we go to a karaoke ce. Scarlett agreed, and we headed to one of those private karaoke rooms that are prettymon in Tokyo.
When we walked into the room, Scarlett looked around and then nced at me, a little suspicious.
To be honest, I was a bit surprised too. It gave a different vibe, to say the least. I looked at her and said honestly, "My idea was to sing... and maybe a few kisses."
I took a breath and added, seriously this time, looking her in the eyes, "But if you''re even a little bit ufortable, we can go somewhere else or end our little dating here."
I kept my gaze steady. "I know, and you might know too, how shit Hollywood can be. I will NEVER be that kind of person."
Sheughed, defusing the awkward tension a bit. Then, still smiling, she reached for the door and gently closed it. The bodyguards stayed outside.
"Are you sure?" I asked.
"I know you don''t have bad intentions," she said smirking.
"Hey, somehow I feel insulted," I said, feigning indignance. "But how could you possibly know? We barely know each other for a day..."
"Woman intuition," Scarlett said.
"Now you are BS me," I replied.
"But you should always be cautious," I added.
Because I am, I thought. There''s a little camera and a recorder here. Only Pepper has ess (I talked to her before). Scarlett seems like a nice person, but you never know where a bad idea mighte from (I saw some wrongful usation in this and in my past life)
"Okay, you bad wolf. I''ll sit two spaces away from you," she said,ughing.
"What are we gonna sing?" I asked, then smiled. "Ladies first."
Scarlett grabbed the remote and the microphone. She scrolled through the TV menu, then looked at me with a grin. "I will sing this," she said, showing "Burn" by Marshmello featuring Ellie Goulding.
She started singing, ?Cause we got the fire, and we''re burning one hell of a something...?
She is surprisingly good. I had heard her humming and singing to herself yesterday, but seeing her perform like this¡ªshe''s good.
When she finished, I pped. "Now it''s your turn," Scarlett said, handing me the microphone.
"Which Marshmello song do you want me to sing?" I asked.
"Friendzone," she said, smiling.
I gasped but queued up the song. On the screen, the video started ying¡ªwith Regina featured in the opening shot¡ªand the lyrics appeared in big subtitles. I hit y and started singing, turning toward Scarlett as I did (I didn''t need the subtitles help).
When I finished, Scarlett pped and said, "You really are a good singer." Then she added with augh, "And a Marshmello fan. You just danced exactly like him."
I turned back to the monitor, which was already nk, and then looked at her. "Totally! I sang with him, he''s a nice guy!"
Scarlett didn''t seem suspicious at all and asked, "By any chance, did you actually find out his real identity?"
"Unfortunately not," I said, unfazed. "He used a voice modifier to talk. And even if I knew, I signed way too many NDA uses." I lied without shame.
"Too bad," she said.
I sat down next to Scarlett and kissed her. We stayed like that for a while.
After a moment, I said, "After singing that song, obviously I had to kiss you."
She smiled and said, "The term got really popr, didn''t it? Friendzone. Isn''t it amazing? How a singer could create a term like that."
"Yea," I agreed.
I don''t know if I''m proud of that idea.
Scarlett sang "Outside" this time, then gave me the mic again.
"How about I sing one of my originals?" I asked.
"Do it!" she said, excited.
I got up and walked out for a second, returning with a backpack I had left with one of the bodyguards. I pulled out a DVD, ced it in the karaoke machine, and said, "I already recorded the instrumental part."
I pressed y, and the music started. Then I began to sing:
What Do You Mean? (Justin Bieber)
?What do you mean? Oh, oh
When you nod your head yes, but you wanna say no
What do you mean? Hey, yeah
When you don''t want me to move, but you tell me to go
What do you mean??
?Oh, what do you mean?
Said you''re running outta time, what do you mean?
Oh, oh, oh, what do you mean?
Better make up your mind, what do you mean??
Scarlett pped when I finished singing.
Biba guy, don''t worry,I''ll let you keep the Baby song.
She said smiling, "You could put me in the video when you release that song."
Remembering how the video for What Do You Mean? looked, I turned to her and said, "You bet!"
We sang a few more songs and then went back to making out. We both knew this was just a summer fling, with no feelings attached (she is living who knows where because of her movies work). So we simply enjoyed the moment.
------
A/N: Scarlett will be back in the future. For now, it was just two teens having fun on vacation, in another country.
Note 2: Diddy went unnoticed. I even searched on the inte, the song changed to "I''ll be watching you be Naomi", I will update the Chapter.
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Chapter 125 - 10th Grade
Chapter 125 - 10th Grade
Chapter 123
After a few days in Japan, I returned to Malibu. The jetg was hitting, but home was home.
When I walked into the house, I found n and Charlie sitting at the kitchen table, both with mugs in hand.
"Hey," I said, tossing my backpack near the chair.
"Look who''s back," Charlie said, raising his mug.
n smiled and added, "The trip must''ve been good. You''re all smiley."
Charlie narrowed his eyes, staring at me for a second, then smirked. "He hooked up!" he dered.
I opened a wide smile and said, "You bet I did. She was amazing."
---
The next day, school started. Carly, Freddie, Sam, Regina, Cher, and I met at the cafeteria early in the morning. We had agreed to have breakfast together before sses began. The ce was still rtively quiet, the usual school buzz not yet in full swing. We grabbed a big table.
"We are now sophomores!" said Carly, excited.
But four people at the table¡ªCher, Sam, Regina, and I¡ªhad their heads down on the table, not sharing the same enthusiasm.
Cher, Regina, and I said in unison, "We miss Laura."
Laura was a good friend
Sam, still groggy, mumbled, "I''m just sleepy..." but then quickly added, noticing the looks from the rest of us, "...and I miss Laura too."
The four of us returned to resting our heads on the table.
A girl walked past, and I instinctively turned to look, my gaze following her walking in front of us. "Over here, Pippa," someone called out to her.
Suddenly, I felt a smack to the back of my head.
"You are¡ª" started Cher.
"Unbelievable," Regina finished in a mock voice.
"I was just looking," I defended. "There are these new girls from other schools."
"Yeah right," everyone said at once, followed byughter.
Cher added, "There was some kind of murder involving a couple at a school nearby. And some students were relocated here."
Regina nodded. "Yes. I heard we''re getting like four or five extra students in each ss."
"Isn''t that a little dumb to do that?" said Freddie.
"Our government was never known for brilliant ideas..." I replied.
The bell rang.
"Let''s go to ss," said Carly.
We all stood up, grabbing our things and waving goodbye to Cher and Regina, who still had different ssrooms from ours.
---
When we entered the ssroom, I immediately noticed four new faces¡ªthree girls and one boy.
"Let''s say hello to them," I told Freddie.
"Nah, I''m good," he replied, still half-asleep.
So I went on my own.
"Hello, Jake Harper," I said, offering a smile.
The four of them responded in turn: "Pippa Fitz-Amobi, Cara Ward, Lauren Gibson, and Ravi Singh."
"Nice," I said, nodding. "If you need anything..." I continued, then pointed toward our group, "...just ask that girl. Her name is Carly. She''s a good person and can help you out."
A couple of girls nearby chuckled quietly at my shameless redirection.
I smiled and then walked back to rejoin the group.
Carly narrowed her eyes and asked, "Why did you point at me?"
"I said if they need any help, to contact you," I replied.
"Why didn''t you say to contact you?"
I gave her a weird look. "Noo. That would be too troublesome."
Carly started to p me¡ªyfully, but repeatedly¡ªmaking several people around usugh.
---
Anne approached the group (that she was already friends of) and smiled. "So, you met our Prince" she said, noticing Jake had already introduced himself to the four neers
"Prince?" Cara raised an eyebrow.
"Yeah, but don''t call him that. He doesn''t like it much," Anne replied.
"Understandable. It''s kinda cringe," said Pippa, wincing slightly.
"So, who''s the handsome guy?" Lauren asked, curious.
"Jake? He''s the most popr guy in our school. Nice and funny. I talked to him a bit, and he''s really easygoing," Anne said. "Let''s see... Oh, and he''s insanely smart. He''s two years younger than us but still got first cest year."
"He doesn''t look like the nerdy type," Caramented.
"Not even close. He sleeps in ss. Sometimes he skips entirely," Anne added.
Pippa made a disapproving face.
"Oh, and he''s filthy rich. I went to his birthday party and the end-of-year one too. Both were insane. But the one at Santa Monica looked like something out of a movie."
"He has two houses?" Pippa asked.
"His parents are divorced, I think."
"And his parties are incredible. You do not want to be on his bad side, or you''ll miss the most wanted party in the 10th grade. Even some upperssmen try to get in."
"And speaking of parties, Carly, Cher, and Regina throw some too," Anne added. "But Jake''s is the best one. Carly''s are a little childish, and Cher and Regina''s are... a bit too focused on themselves."
"So, rich, intelligent, and handsome?" Lauren smirked.
"He must have some ws," Ravi muttered.
"Well... he''s kind of a yboy. He fooled around a lotst year," Anne admitted. "But this year he was kinda dating this gorgeous actress. She transferred to our school at the start of the year, but left in August. I heard she got a role in some TV show."
"Wow," Ravi said under his breath.
"A total bastard?" Lauren asked.
"Not exactly. More like... the type who''ll kiss you, but you know not to expect much else. He doesn''t lie to girls or date more than one at a time. So if you go out with him, you already know it''s just casual."
"So a gentleman bastard?" Pippa said, giggling.
"You could say that," Anneughed with them.
"But seriously, don''t talk bad about him," she warned, especially looking at Ravi. "He''s friends with the football team and a bunch of other guys. I heard some people got beat up for badmouthing him."
Cara nced in Jake''s direction and murmured, "I wouldn''t mind a kiss or two..."
The girls burst into giggles. Ravi just scoffed and shook his head.
------
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Chapter 126: New Classmates
Chapter 126 - New ssmates
Chapter 124
Just as the murmurs and side conversations began to fade, the ssroom door swung open and Ms. Ackerman stepped in, carrying a clipboard and her usual warm smile.
"Good morning, everyone," she said as she walked to the front. "I hope you all had a restful summer. Now, let''s get started. As you can see, we have a few new students joining us this semester."
The ss straightened up slightly.
She nced at her clipboard. "Pippa Fitz-Amobi, Cara Ward, Lauren Gibson, and Ravi Singh¡ªyou''ll be assigned new seats. We''ve made a few changes to the arrangement to amodate everyone."
There were a few groans and sighs as students realized their usual spots might be disrupted.
Ms. Ackerman began calling names from her clipboard.
"Harper and Puckett, you''ll be in thest row. Shay and Benson, up front in the first row. Fitz-Amobi, you''ll take the seat next to Harper. Ward, next to Shay. Gibson, third row by the window. Singh, near the window seat."
Sam and I bumped fists.
"We gotst row," Sam said, grinning. Then she looked at Pippa. "What did you do wrong, pretty girl, to get stuck in thest row? I thought you''d be more like the nerdy type," she added, ncing toward Freddie and Carly.
Pippa looked surprised. "I did nothing wrong," she whispered, looking at Sam.
"Oh, don''t be shy," I said, cing a hand on Sam''s shoulder and giving Pippa a grin. "Come to the dark side."
Sam reached into her backpack and added with a smirk, "We have cookies."
She passed one to me and then one to Pippa. Pippa hesitated at first, but I nudged her with a smile. "Eat it, it''s delicious. And believe me, Sam doesn''t usually share her snacks."
Pippa ended up taking a bite, seeing how casually Sam and I ate ours without a hint of concern.
"Ms. Fitz-Amobi," said the teacher with a neutral tone. "We don''t eat in ss. Please don''t join the two troublemakers."
Pippa coughed and said a little embarrassed, "I''m sorry."
I finished chewing and swallowed. "My God, Sam, you made so much trouble that now you''re counting as two."
"She was talking about you too, you idiot," said Sam, making everyoneugh again.
---
Few days after, I was having afternoon coffee with Uncle Charlie in the kitchen. The smell of fresh coffee and toasted bread filled the air.
n walked into the kitchen, adjusting the cor of his shirt. "Hey, how do I look?"
"Hmm, Dad, just because it''s expensive doesn''t mean it''s stylish..." I said
"Forget it, Jake. That preppy style of his isn''t going anywhere," said Charlie.
n red at the two of us. "I''m really nervous here," he said. "I have a date tonight."
"You look fine, Dad. That''s your best version," I said reassuringly.
"Which isn''t saying much, considering the other versions," Charlie murmured.
n red again at Charlie, not amused.
"You''re fine," Charlie said, lifting his coffee mug. "Look, just don''t turn this into a bigger deal than it needs to be. You met a woman, you asked her out¡ª"
"Technically, she asked me out," n interjected.
"See, I was in the market," n continued. "And she needed advice on picking out corn. There were no employees around. There never are. Even if they are, they''re not knowledgeable about produce."
"Thank God you were there," Charlie said dryly.
"Tell me about it," n nodded.
"I exined that you have to husk a few ears... to check the firmness of the kernels. Next thing you know, she asked me out."
Charlie and I exchanged a look.
"Dad, there are probably four kinds of women that would ask you out after that interaction," I said, raising my fingers to count. "She has the urge, she''s a gold digger, she wants a green card, or she''s crazy."
"Listen to your son, n," Charlie added. "Just hope it''s the first one. Because if it''s one of the other three, we''ll have to kick her ass... and yours too."
"And Dad, boost your self-esteem," I added. "You''re rich now. You have a nice house, nice cars, and your son is almost pooping money. Just don''t screw it up with some random woman you met at the supermarket.
If you want to do something stupid¡ªlike marriage¡ªwith a supermarket woman, at least find one with thest name Walton." (owner of Walmart)
n took a deep breath. "Okay, you''re right." he said, then murmured, " I''m a good catch now... a great catch." and he seemed to calm down a bit. "I can do it," he said quietly, then turned to look at me and Charlie. "Thank you." And with that, he walked out.
I turned slowly. "Does it work?" I asked, thoughtfully.
Charlie rubbed his chin. "I don''t know. But miracles can happen."
---
n had two intense days of ''activity'' with the woman.
Now, the three of us¡ªn, Charlie, and I¡ªwere sitting at the kitchen table again. n looked simultaneously smug, exhausted, and conflicted, sipping from a tall ss of orange juice as if it were a recovery potion.
He murmured, "I can''t believe she was married."
Charlie red at n, then gave him a few pats on the back. "At least it was the first option."
"Well, Dad, it seems we don''t need to kick your ass..." I said.
Charlie murmured, "We didn''t even need to. She did that a lot..."
n and I looked at Charlie.
"Thanks God I had that soundproofing installed in my room," I said. "I expected it to be useful for some of Uncle Charlie''s louder guests... who would''ve thought I''d use it because of Dad."
Now both of them turned to re at me.
------
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Chapter 127: Investments and Money
Chapter 127 - Investments and Money
Chapter 125
It was September 16th, just five days after the attack that had shaken the entire world. The atmosphere everywhere was still heavy. And yet, life kept moving.
We were having a secret meeting at Pepper''s house¡ªme, Pepper, Anthony, and Harvey Spencer.
I looked at Anthony and said, "Anthony, you can start with our financial breakdown of JD Company."
He nodded and started to speak. "We have a total of 720 million in own cash and investments,posed of 300 million in cash and 420 million in stocks.
These 720 million already ount for the profits from the movies Paranormal Activity, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, and part of Brokeback Mountain. The films contributed 320 million, while the other 400 million came from the initial cash and the insane profitability generated by it and the movies once the money starteding in."
Yeah, it is like printing money. We profited a lot from the movies, and we reinvested that profit into stocks, generating even more money.
Anthony continued, " This doesn''t include the money from our short position in Enron. We currently hold 20 million Enron shares short, with an average price of 70 dors, 2,5% of Enron''s total shares. At current prices (32.76), closing the position would cost us around 660 million dors¡ªmeaning we''re sitting on a profit of 740 million dors before taxes."
We used leverage at the start, so that exins the amazing profit.
"Why do we even make movies..." Pepper murmured, having a little existential crisis
"Keep increasing the short position, Anthony. We''re not done yet," I said
Anthony added, "That''s not even counting what''s stilling from Brokeback Mountain, plus Lost in Trantion justunched, and we still have Annabelle and The Conjuring lined up. And 1.46 billion is just own cash, investments and profit (short position). If you count all the assets, there are also properties, film materials, intangible assets, and more "
I grinned. "The United States Mint would be jealous of us."
Pepperpleted, "We also have our music division through the subsidiary¡ªMarshmello being our biggest asset there."
I leaned forward. "Let''s get to what matters. Anthony, how much do we have avable to invest?"
He replied, "For now, without closing the short position or selling our stocks, we have 1.7 billion in cash avable. But we need around 660 million dors to close the short position."
(300 own cash + 1400 short position, 1700 total cash)
I nodded. "The stock market has been closed for a week. Even with the FED''s cash injection, chances are we''ll see a bloodbath in theing days.
We''ll focus on three key investments. First and most important: Amazon. Their market cap is already at 3.1 billion, and it''ll probably slide further. Anthony, prepare to buy at the end of the month. Our target is 30% of thepany, with an average market cap of 2.5 billion¡ªmeaning a total investment of 750 million dors."
I continued, "Second on the list is the Chinesepany NetEase. It''s likely to be delisted from NASDAQ due to allegations that some of its executives were involved in fraudulent earnings disclosures. Right now, they''re worth practically nothing. I''d consider a takeover bid if they weren''t a Chinesepany. Try to acquire 40%¡ªsomewhere between 30 to 40 million should be enough."
"And finally, I want a takeover bid for Hansen''s Natural. They''re not worth much¡ªtheir market cap is 40 million right now. Try to make a deal before we have to go hostile."
I rationalized, "Hansen''s Natural is a manufacturer of sodas and juices, but what really interests me is their energy drink division. It''s the perfect match with Marshmello. We couldunch an energy drink brand at Tomorrond and break into that market."
Hansen was the former name of Monster Beverage Corporation. They haven''t evenunched Monster yet. I can use that. If they don''t sell to us... better register the name now.
I could finally take the first step toward one of my biggest goals: owning 30% of Amazon. The year 2002 is going to be brutal for the stock market¡ªS&P 500 tumbling, countlesspanies losing their value. That''s when Apple''s market cap will sit at just 4.5 billion, and Nvidia at 1.4 billion.
Good time to strike. I''ll take a solid bite out of both.
Anthony leaned forward. "I have a suggestion. We don''t want everyone knowing that JD Company owns these stakes. And from what you said, Jake, it sounds like Amazon is going to be a long-term position. We can structure a fund, 100% owned by JD Company¡ªmaybe even ce it in a tax haven."
Pepper looked up, "So we would only need to disclose that, for example, the Jacob Fund acquired 30% of the shares, without linking it to JD by name?"
Harvey replied, "It can be done legally."
"Let''s do it," I said. "But really, we''re using my name again?" I asked, looking at Pepper.
"Yes, let''s keep the standard," she replied, unfazed.
Aye, I thought. Now we have JD Company, Harper Fund, and Jacob Fund. There is still David (I have the D. in my middle name, maybe that is why I''m the protagonist)
We kept talking for a little while longer, reviewing timelines, documents, and potential partners. Eventually, Anthony and Harvey stood up, grabbing their folders.
"I''ll get the paperwork in motion," Anthony said.
"Keep me in the loop," Harvey added.
After a few quick goodbyes, they left, and only Pepper and I remained in the room.
I was sitting, sending a message on my phone when Pepper stood up and gently wrapped her arms around my head. I looked up at her, a little confused.
"Are you okay?" she asked, a little concerned.
"Yes. Nothing to think about it," I said simply.
I decided to talk to Pepper about the terrorist attack. I had never seen her so pale. After thinking for a long while, she came to the same conclusion I did¡ªit''s way out of our league.
And what I said to Pepper was totally correct. I don''t feel any guilt. The me is on the terrorists.
------
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Chapter 128: October
Chapter 128 - October
Chapter 126
It was the beginning of October, and little by little, the world began to find its rhythm again.
That morning, the five of us were gathered in the school cafeteria: Cher, Regina, Carly, Freddie, and me. Sam had gone to get food.
Pippa walked past the cafeteria entrance and spotted us. She gave me a quick "Hi, Jake," followed by a more general, "Hey, everyone," directed at the rest of the table. Then, without stopping, she continued on her way to the ssroom.
After seeing Pippa greet me, Carly leaned in.
"You and Pippa?"
"We''re friends. I didn''t even flirt with her," I said.
Carly looked at me, suspicious. Freddie was busy texting a message, while Cher and Regina were deep in a different conversation.
Sam appeared with a piece of bread in her hand.
"What''s the conversation?" she asked.
"That I''m just friends with Pippa," I replied.
Sam looked surprised. "That is... actually true! You''re all friendly talk, but not a single flirt. Why wouldn''t you do that? You don''t want to kiss her? She is kinda cute."
"No, I wouldn''t mind kissing her. But why are you saying it like I''m some Casanova?" I said, sounding like I was being wronged.
Regina turned her attention to us.
"Maybe because he was spending his time with Jessica or Jeniffer."
"...And Mandy," added Cher.
"How do you know about Mandy? That was yesterday..." I asked, surprised.
"We girls talk," said Cher, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"Only been a month and you already kissed three girls?" asked Sam deadpan.
"Not at the same time," I replied with a poker face, "and they all know about it."
"Jeniffer even said she wanted to do something different from Jessica (about the date)," I added. "And Mandy kissed me from the beginning, saying she was dying to know if it was true?!" I said weirdly.
Cher whispered, "I might have gossiped that you kiss very well."
Iughed. "Now makes sense. I''m liking you even more, Cher."
Carly and Sam still looked me deadpan.
The bell rang, echoing through the halls, and everyone stood up from the table, heading off toward ss.
When we entered the ssroom, Ms. Ackerman was already inside, organizing some papers. As we all settled into our seats, she began calling our names one by one, returning the graded tests from earlier in the week.
The first one from our group to be called was Sam. She returned to her seat a momentter and said, "All Cs."
I nodded, not thinking much of it.
Then Pippa was called. She quietly returned to her seat without saying anything. I didn''t pay it much attention, but Sam stood up and went over to peek at Pippa''s paper.
"Three As and a B," Sam announced. "Yep, we have another Freddie and Carly here."
She nced again. "And your name is really Pippa."
Pippa and I both looked at her strangely.
"What? I thought it was another nickname besides Pip," Sam said defensively.
"Well, it could be a nickname for Phillipa, but no¡ªmy name is just Pippa," she smiled.
That reminded me of the day I was talking to Dad and Uncle Charlie about the new girls in my ss. Uncle Charlie, of course, had taken the opportunity to exin the (ng) meaning of ''pippa'' in othernguages¡ªSwedish and Italian.
Later that day, out of curiosity, I looked it up myself. And yep¡ªhe was right. In Swedish, it could mean "sex," and in Italian, "hand job."
And to my surprise, without one of the P''s, "pipa" could mean "kite" or "wine barrel" in Portuguese. Should I study more Portuguese? (I''m fluent in Spanish and intermediate in both Portuguese and French.)
Then the professor called my name. I stood up, walked to the front, took the tests from her hands, and returned to my seat.
Before I sat down, Sam leaned over to nce at my papers. "All A+. No surprises..."
"But still surprises me," said Pippa. "You basically sleep, text on your phone, or read during ss."
"That is a lie," I replied.
Pippa red at me.
"I also eat, and I pass notes to you and Sam. Sometimes I even write a little," I added with a smirk.
Pippa shook her head. "And amazes me that you can say it with a straight face."
"I don''t see any problem," I said, then turned my head to Sam.
"Me neither," Sam agreed.
Pippa just scoffed.
Then my phone buzzed again. The first message hade earlier from Pepper: Two more artists signed with us¡ªAshanti and Jason Mraz. I had already replied: Amazing job.
It felt like ying Pok¨¦mon in real life. I''m gonna catch them all! (Pepper would hit me if I ever said that to her.)
Now a new one from Anthony popped up: All done. 30%, $690M, average cap $2.3B. We''ll have to inform the market.
I replied: Amazing job.
Anthony must have been buying for days. Now, a Schedule 13D needs to be filed with the SEC (because of 30%. It was needed since we got 5%).
The next ss had started, and I ended up taking a nap. I was woken up during the break by Cher and Regina.
I blinked a few times and looked up at them. "What are you two doing here?"
"We have a problem," Cher said seriously.
Regina nodded.
Cher continued, "My mother decided to throw a party on Halloween."
"And my house will be filled with preparations for my birthday," Regina added. "So we can''t make a party there."
I looked weirdly at Regina. "Your birthday''s is November 12th, right?"
"d you remember. And yes, but it''s too close¡ªtoo little time between one party and another," Regina replied.
I shook my head but said, "So... Malibu house or Santa Monica?"
The two of them looked at each other.
"Santa Monica," Cher answered. "We can invite more people, and it''s easier for everyone to get there."
"Done," I said simply. Then I turned to Regina. "By the way, what do you prefer as a birthday present¡ªPorsche 911 or Lexus SC430?"
------
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Chapter 129: Cars
Chapter 129 - Cars
Chapter 127
"By the way, what do you prefer as a birthday present¡ªPorsche 911 or Lexus SC430?"
She had that thoughtful look she wore when picking outfits¡ªor plotting.
"That is a difficult choice," she finally said. "Love Porsche, but Lexus is also good and more useful for day-to-day."
"Why don''t you choose the Lexus and ask your dad for the Porsche?" Cher suggested.
"Brilliant idea, Cher," Regina said, turning to me. Then she smiled. "So, a Lexus. If possible, a light pink one."
She leaned closer and whispered in my ear, "Can you make her sign it?"
I understood instantly¡ªshe meant Britney. She wanted the car autographed.
I nodded. "Can be done."
"Love you, Jake!" Regina eximed and gave me a big hug.
Cher raised an eyebrow. "I want one too."
"Yours is on December 10th, right?" I asked.
Cher nodded.
"Done. Might as well buy them all now," I said with a grin.
Cher hugged the other side of me.
Then Sam chimed in. "How about me?"
"Not a chance. You having a car, Sam, is a burden to society. You might end up running someone over¡ªand not by ident. I don''t want to be the one who made that possible. Choose another present."
Sam thought for a moment. "A year of all-you-can-eat chicken and bacon."
"Done," I said.
"And snacks. Like, a lifetime supply."
"Also done," I replied.
Sam grinned and hugged me from behind.
Now I had Regina on one side, Cher on the other, and Sam wrapped around the back.
Carly and Freddie walked over from the front row. Carly looked at the scene andughed. "What is this? Jake''s hugging day?"
"Yep,e in here," I said, motioning for her to join the group hug.
"Noo," Carly replied yfully, backing up a little.
"I''m buying a car for them," I said, looking at her and Freddie. "What kind of car would you two want?"
They both stared at me, surprised.
"You buying Sam a car?" Carly asked.
"No, better. He will buy me food," Sam replied proudly.
"Thank God," Carly said with mock relief. "I don''t want to go see Sam in juvie... again."
Carly chuckled, then added, "But a car..."
"Come on, Carly," I said, half-smiling. "I will buy cars for these two."
"How about a Mini Cooper?" Carly offered with a hopeful grin.
"That''s okay. But I''m buying Lexus SC430s for these two. Mini is much simpler," I pointed out.
"I''m okay with a Mini. I don''t need a fancy car," Carly said with a shrug.
I nodded and looked at Freddie, who seemed thoughtful.
"I don''t know if my mom will let me drive..." he said uncertainly.
Sam cut in immediately. "Why don''t you grow some¡ªwhat''s it called¡ªballs?!"
Freddie frowned. "Shut up Sam!"
The two of them started bickering while the rest of usughed.
Freddie finally shrugged. "Can I think about it? My birthday''s only in February anyway."
I just nodded to him.
The ssroom door opened and the teacher walked in. Cher and Regina each gave me a kiss on the cheek and left without a hint of embarrassment.
Still clinging to me from behind, Sam didn''t move.
The teacher gave her a long look and sighed. "Ms. Puckett..."
Sam let go reluctantly and went to her seat.
A momentter, a folded piece of papernded on my desk. I unfolded it.
Are you buying 4 cars???
I looked over at Pippa, who was staring back at me, wide-eyed.
I tore a piece of paper from my notebook and scribbled back:
Believe me, the most expensive one is Sam''s. I don''t know how, but that girl eats a lot.
Pippa read the note, raised an eyebrow, and gave me a weird look.
I just nodded like it was the most natural thing in the world.
A few momentster, another note reached my desk.
Either way. That is a lot of money...
I wrote back quickly:
I''m the prodigal son.
Lie. But no need to say the truth. If I bought everything today, tomorrow I''d already have more money than I had before buying the gifts. I''m basically printing money...
Lost in Trantion, surprisingly, had benefited from the aftermath of the attack. Since many studios decided to postpone their film releases¡ªsome even pulling theirs entirely due to the Twin Towers appearing in many scenes¡ªour film, set in Japan, felt distant enough to not remind viewers of the tragedy. In fact, part of the audience simply wanted a temporary escape.
And unlike what happened during COVID, nothing had truly shut down. Cinemas were still open. People still sought entertainment¡ªeven if the numbers had dropped and watching at home had be more popr.
Then another note came. The envelope was marked: To Sam, but you can read.
I opened it before passing it along. Inside, it read:
Did you go to juvie prison???
I nudged Sam and handed her the note. She read it, then leaned forward, looking straight at Pippa, and raised a single finger in response (one time).
Pippa couldn''t help herself and whispered, "What did you do?"
But before Sam could answer, the teacher said, "Ms. Fitz-Amobi, could you answer this question?"
Pippa blinked. "Hum?"
I leaned in and whispered, "Four."
"Four," Pippa repeated aloud.
The teacher nodded. "It is correct. Four times."
Pippa looked at me, surprised, but I was already texting on my phone.
A message from Britney popped up: Are you really releasing 5 songs today?
Me: Yes, for my new album.
Britney: But you released one already 2 months ago!!! Shouldn''t you be doing a tour?!
Me: I had another idea.
Britney: What kind of idea?
Me: Not just a show. I''m nning a full two-day festival. Will be named Tomorrond. 150,000 people each day, full production, global coverage. We''ll release everything now to build hype, and that festival will be the ultimate explosion.
Britney: lol, you kidding???
Then another message followed quickly:
Britney: Let me in! Let me in!
Me: You can be part of it, but you need to change the beat of your songs. It''s an EDM (Electronic Dance Music) festival. You can sing my songs or remix yours to fit.
Britney: Why not both?
------
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Chapter 130: Yes, Monsignor
Chapter 130 - Yes, Monsignor
Chapter 128
Britney and I kept exchanging messages. In just a few months since we met, we''d be good friends.
She''s funny and genuinely nice¡ªa far cry from the chaotic image I had of her in my past life. Maybe it''s because she hasn''t yet run into the tabloid storms (I''m still not sure how true those stories about heavy drug use were, but if she ever starts heading down that path, I''ll do my best to stop it).
She''s just a little needy, that''s all.
After ss ended, I announced to the whole group that there would be a Halloween party at my house in Santa Monica.
Then Cara came over to talk with Pippa. But before that, she turned to me with a smile.
"Hey Jake, we sure will go to your party!" she eximed, cing an arm around Pippa.
Pippa agreed with a small nod.
I smiled back and replied, "Great, you are all wee!"
Cara turned to Pippa, visibly excited.
"I can''t wait to get home and listen to Marshmello''s new songs! ording to what my sister texted me, it''s five tracks. Their names are: Something Just Like This (Chainsmokers), Don''t Let Me Down (Chainsmokers), A Sky Full of Stars (Coldy), I''m Good (David Guetta), and Time of Our Lives (Pitbull)."
I smirked and said, "The first one is by far the best."
"You already heard it?" Cara asked, a little astonished¡ªconsidering the songs had only dropped two sses ago.
Pippa turned to me and red. "Jake does everything during ss... except pay attention to it."
I gasped, "How could you say that, Pip?"
---
After school, I headed back to the Malibu house.
As I stepped through the front door, I heard Charlie call out from the living room, "Hey, Jake. Do you remember Lisa?"
I turned and saw a beautiful blonde girl standing beside him.
"Yes,st Thanksgiving. Lisa Geller. Or whatever surname you have now..." I said, trailing off as I remembered she was supposed to be getting married.
"Good to see you again, Jake," Lisa replied with a smile.
"And her surname will be back to Geller," Uncle Charlie added with a smirk.
I raised an eyebrow and gave a charming grin. "Soo, what happened?"
Lisa red at Charlie. "What are you teaching this boy?"
Apparently, I asked the same question and in the exact same tone as my uncle...
"Nothing. He didn''t learn that from me..." Charlie said, hands up in mock innocence.
Still, Lisa answered, "I thought he was the sweetest guy in the world... but after we got married, he changed. He started drinking a lot and lying around the house all day. And then I caught him in the shower with some bimbo."
"Some guys, huh?" I muttered, sneaking a look at Uncle Charlie.
"Yeah. If I wanted that kind of life, I could have stayed with your uncle," Lisa finished.
I murmured, "And yet you''re here..."
Then added, "With my uncle, it would be much better. He''s still a funny guy. And you wouldn''t catch him in the shower with some bimbo¡ª"
Lisa looked at me suspiciously, not believing thest part.
I exined, "¡ªwe have security now, so I''d warn him before you could catch him in the act."
Lisa red at me, while Charlie gave a neutral, "Thank you," not quite sure what to think about thest part.
Then we heard the sound of a baby crying. I looked around and spotted a baby in a carrier seat by the couch.
"This is?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.
"That''s my angel," Lisa replied sweetly.
I leaned slightly toward Charlie and murmured, "That''s not yours, right?"
"No!" both Lisa and Charlie answered at the same time.
Then Charlie turned to her. "No?"
"NO!" Lisa repeated, louder.
"Hey, I''m not judging," I added quickly, raising my hands. "And from what you told me, your ex-husband can''t either..."
We chatted a bit more, then Lisa and Uncle Charlie headed out to her ce.
I made my way to the other room and flopped down on the couch to watch some TV.
On the screen, the presenter was speaking energetically. "Marshmello released another five songs, and they are already flooding our radio stations. Can he even be more popr?" he asked rhetorically.
Then he turned to thementator.
"Yes, John. He''s not giving anyone else a chance anymore. He keeps releasing song after song after song... How can other artists evenpete with that?"
He continued, "And it feels like d¨¦j¨¤ vu¡ªreminds me of the first time he dropped five songs all at once at the beginning.
Last week, when I went out to a club, I basically heard only two songs that weren''t his: ''One More Time'' by Daft Punk and ''yed-A-Live (The Bongo Song)'' by Safri Duo. He''s basically monopolizing the genre.
If in thest decade electronic music broke into the mainstream with artists like The Prodigy, Daft Punk, Fatboy Slim, and Chemical Brothers¡ªtoday, one name alone seems to represent the entire revolution."
The presenter jumped back in, "Now the term ''Electronic Dance Music''¡ªEDM¡ªhas be widely popr. It''s even printed on Marshmello''s album cover."
"Yes," thementator added, "It refers to a type of electronic music made specifically for dancing, often with a pop edge. Marshmello didn''t invent the term¡ªit existed before him¡ªbut it''s undeniable: if someone wants to exin what EDM is nowadays, there''s no way to do it without mentioning his name."
I turned off the TV and decided to head to the house in Santa Monica. Uncle Charlie had left with Lisa, and my dad wasn''t expected back untilte anyway.
------
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Chapter 131: Paige Trouble
Chapter 131 - Paige Trouble
Chapter 129
I saw the iing call¡ªit was Missy. I picked up.
"Hey Jake."
"Hello Missy."
"How you doing?" she asked.
"Great, but not better than you, from what I can hear on your side." I could hear music in the background¡ªit sounded like she was at a party.
"Yeah... but I need your help. I don''t know anyone else who can help."
"Okay... I''m listening."
"Paige is here. She''s drunk, she''s high, and from what Sheldon told me, she said her life is terrible. I''m trying to find her, but I don''t know what to do after..."
I paused for a moment, thinking about it, then replied, "I can help. Where are you?"
"Near Caltech."
"I''ll be there in about forty minutes. I''m in Santa Monica."
---
I told Mom I was helping a friend and would head to Malibu afterward. I got into my four-seater car with two bodyguards. Another two were driving the Rolls-Royce behind us. Plus, we had a van with four more. Since I got richer, I increased the number of bodyguards. For thepany, I kept eight¡ªPepper had four. 24 hours a day.
"They''re over there," I said when I spotted Missy and Sheldon.
The driver parked nearby, and I stepped out.
"Hello guys."
"Jake!" Missy said with a smile.
"What is he doing here?" Sheldon muttered to Missy.
"Good to see you too, C-3PO," I said casually.
"I called him," Missy replied, then came over and hugged me. "Thanks foring."
"So, where''s Paige?" I asked.
"We found her, then lost her again..." Missy said, looking frustrated.
"What was she wearing?" I asked Sheldon, knowing his eidetic memory would kick in.
"Burgundy top, had a id jacket tied around her waist, some sort of ne..."
"Okay, that''s enough." I grabbed my walkie-talkie and repeated Sheldon''s description to the team. "Start searching for her."
Missy gave me a questioning look.
"I came with bodyguards¡ªthey''ll find her."
"So, what are you doing here, Missy?" I asked while we waited.
"A friend of mine has a sister studying near here. She invited us to the party," Missy exined.
"And your parents let youe?" I raised an eyebrow.
"No. I said I was sleeping over at Heather''s ce."
"ssic," I said with a smirk.
A few minutester, my walkie-talkie buzzed.
"Looks like they found her," I said. "She''s in front of a house nearby."
---
When I arrived, I saw a guy talking to Paige.
"Hey, do you know how old she is?" I asked the guy.
"She said she was eighteen," he replied.
"Try lower."
"Sixteen?"
"Lower."
"I gotta go," the guy said and quickly vanished.
"Why did you do that?" Paige asked.
"Hello to you too, Paige," I said. "You messed with me on my 13th birthday. Now we''re quits," I shrugged.
Truth is, I just saved that guy from a big problem. I looked at Paige. Your life might be hell, but that''s no reason to bring others with you.
Paige huffed but said, "Nice to see you, Jake."
I gave her a quick hug.
"So, did they call you to fix me?" she asked sarcastically.
"Fix you? No, I came to the party," I answered, putting a hand on her shoulder.
Six teens arrived¡ªfour guys, and two girls. Looked like football yers and cheerleaders. One of my security guys hired them so we could party without drawing attention. If I walked in with bodyguards, it''d be too much.
"These six are our ticket to every party," I told Missy, then grinned. "Come on, it''s 9:30 p.m.¡ªtoo early to shut down the night. Let''s party."
We hopped from one house to another.
At one of them, Marshmello''s new track Time of My Life was sting. I sang along, watching Missy and Paige dance.
?But I got just enough to get off this club... ?
If any idiot tried anything with them, one of the guys we brought gave them a solid shoulder bump as a warning
Then another track yed:
?I''ve been reading books of old, the legends and the myths... ?
The girls turned to me.
"That''s you!" they yelled, hugging me.
We danced more,ughing.
---
After a few hours, we decided to call it a night and said goodbye to the six.
"Hey, if you need to do it again, call," one of them said.
"Yeah, easiest money I ever got," said another.
"You bet!" I replied with a nod.
I looked at the four of us¡ªPaige visibly drunk, Missy a little giddy, Sheldon looking like he''d just left a war zone.
"Are you hungry? Because I am."
We ended up at a nearby diner.
After we ate, Paige looked at me.
"So, did you make me drink more to kiss me?"
I flicked her forehead.
"You know I''d kiss you even if I were sober."
I flicked her again.
She covered her forehead, wronged.
I murmured, "It was cooler in anime. Real life is kind ofme..."
"Come here, girl," I said, opening my arms.
"At the end, you still want a kiss," she said yfully.
Flick.
This time, I was serious. "A friend hug. You really need one," I said while hugging her tightly.
"Now you''re beingme," she muttered.
"I''m here for you," I said.
"Now you''re being cringe."
"I''m here for you," I repeated.
She stayed in my arms for a long moment, then started crying.
I could feel my shirt getting damp and her hands clutching my tee.
"Life can sucks, you know," she said.
I patted her head.
She cried more. Then, after a moment:
"I was there. I was at your birthday."
"And you didn''t even say happy birthday?" I joked.
She pinched me, then continued, remembering the past (when she visited my house, after we met at Sheldon''s)
"When we met again at your mom''s house, I thought you were an idiot for not going to college."
"Then, at your birthday (14th), seeing you surrounded by friends... I never felt so much envy."
"That''s why I went to Sheldonst time. I thought you wouldn''t understand."
"Don''t worry. I''m here for you now."
We stayed like that a while longer.
Sheldon and Missy were quietly watching. Sheldon didn''t really get it.
Eventually, I said, "Let''s go."
"To where?" Paige asked.
"My house. Look at this," I pointed at my shirt. "I''m all snorty¡ªe."
She gave me a light punch. "Shut up, idiot."
I tilted my head toward Missy and Sheldon.
Missy tugged Sheldon sleeve. "We''reing too?" Asked him
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Chapter 132: Malibu house
Chapter 132 - Malibu house
Chapter 130
We arrived at the Malibu house close to 2 a.m. The gates opened automatically as our cars pulled into the driveway.
"Wee again to Malibu beach house. Best ce to cure a hangover," I said to the three of them. Though, truthfully, only Paige really needed it.
"Come on in," I added as we entered through the kitchen door. I was helping Paige lean on me for support as we walked toward my room.
Once inside, I guided her to the bathroom and lifted the toilet lid.
"Now you can¡ª"
Before I could finish, Paige was already calling Ralph.
I quickly stepped out.
"Missy, she''s all yours now," I said.
Missy entered the bathroom and helped Paige. Meanwhile, I opened the cab and grabbed some clean T-shirts, shorts, and towels.
"Here, Missy. They''re all clean," I said, handing her the clothes.
"Get her in the showerter, cold water. There are sealed toothbrushes in that drawer, and a bunch of other stuff. Feel free to use anything."
Missy nodded. "Thank you."
Then I opened my wardrobe again. "Come here, Sheldon. Help me out."
I handed him some nkets, pillows, and bedsheets.
"Let''s go. We''re sleeping in the living room."
---
At 7:30 a.m., I woke up.
"I hate to sleep on the couch," I murmured, then went to brush my teeth.
After that, I went to the kitchen to start some coffee.
A few minutester, Paige appeared, wearing one of my T-shirts and a pair of my shorts.
"Morning, Paige."
She just groaned and slumped into a chair at the kitchen table, hands holding her head like it might crack open.
"I will never drink again," she muttered.
"I''ve heard that line a hundred times. Never seen anyone stick to it," I said, sipping my coffee
She red at me. "This is partially your fault."
"I just paid for the drinks. Never told you to drink, didn''t even encourage it," I replied. "You think I''d let you drink just so you''d suffer a brutal hangover and learn the hard way not to do stupid things?"
She red at me again.
"Can you give me a ss of water?" she asked.
I handed her the water.
Minutester, n walked into the kitchen. He looked at Paige¡ªdressed in my clothes, clearly hangover¡ªthen looked at me.
"What happened?" n asked, weirded out.
"I picked up a stray cat off the street," I said casually.
Paige choked on her water and looked thoroughly annoyed at me.
Before Dad could ask again, Missy walked into the kitchen, also wearing my clothes.
"Morning," she said normally.
Now n red at me.
But before he could speak, Berta appeared.
"Morning," she said.
The rest of us replied, "Morning."
Berta looked at the two girls and smirked. "So you already started, huh?"
"Not really, Berta," I replied, pulling a couple of bills from my pocket and slipping them between my fingers. Berta took them instantly.
"But my room probably needs a good cleaning..."
Paige choked again, coughing.
Berta started nging a few pots and pans.
"What was that for?!" Paige groaned.
"Best way to cure hangover in a bad girl," Berta said tly.
Then Uncle Charlie walked in.
"Why all the noise this early?" he grumbled, then noticed the two girls. "Ohh," he said, turning to me. "Nice job." With a thumbs up.
"Can we stop this misunderstanding?" Missy cut in. "We three didn''t have sexst night."
Now it was n choking on his coffee.
"Okay, can we start talking now?" n said finally.
"Well," I began, "Paige needed my help. She was drunk and about to do something stupid. So I went there and helped. And I thought¡ªwhere''s the best ce to take a drunk 13-year-old girl with problems and issues?"
"Hey, we''re not working with underage here¡ªbesides you," Charlie interrupted.
"Yes, that''s the only problem," n added sarcastically looking at Charlie.
"By the way, where''s Sheldon?" asked Missy.
"I told them to take him back to Caltech shortly after we left the room. It was impossible to sleep with him in the living room..." I said, then turned to her. "When you''re done with breakfast, I''ll have someone drive you home."
Then I looked at Paige. "And you¡ªwe need a serious conversation." I tossed her some hangover meds.
She caught them, still ring me.
I just raised an eyebrow and went back to my coffee.
After a while, everyone started to disperse. Missy looked a little incredulous as she watched n and Charlie leaving.
"That''s it? Nothing more to talk about?"
"I trust Jake," n said simply.
"Yeah, the kid can handle it," Charlie added with a shrug.
Missy looked at me with a mix of envy and confusion. "Your family is so cool. You brought two girls who slept in your room, one of them clearly drunk. And even after I told them nothing happened, they just believed it? No punishment or anything?"
I shrugged. "You heard them. They trust me. That''s what you get when you don''t do stupid things."
After breakfast, one of the guards drove Missy home.
"I''ll be out there," I said, pointing to the deck. "When you feel better,e find me."
Some timeter, Paige appeared and sat beside me.
"How you gonna fix me, smart guy?" she asked, a bit snappy.
"I have an idea," I said, looking her in the eyes. "But I need two things from you."
She nodded for me to continue.
"First of all, if we''re going to do this, you need to give it your all. Whether it''s college or whatever you choose, you give your best¡ªno half-ass jobs."
I paused. "Second, no more drinks or drugs. Nothing that couldnd you in juvie."
"You want me to be a goody two-shoes girl now?" she asked, voice dripping with sarcasm.
"No. But you''ll respect thew." Or most of them...
She scoffed. "Okay, I can do that. So what''s your idea?"
"You move in with me and my mom. I stay there half the week. I''ve got plenty of friends¡ªyou''ll still have fun, even if you go to college."
------
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Chapter 133: Starting Over
Chapter 133 - Starting Over
Chapter 131
She looked at me for a long moment. "Are you serious? Why are you doing this?"
"I''ll be honest with you," I said, meeting her eyes. "Because you''re very intelligent. Or at least, you have the potential to be. You''re one of a kind in that aspect. It would be a shame to waste it."
"Oh great! Another one that''s all about my intelligence," she snapped, full of sarcasm, eyes already moist. She stood up abruptly.
"Sit down, Paige. I''m not finished," I said, my tone firm.
She huffed and turned as if to storm out.
"If you walk through that door, there won''t be second chances from me," I said in a calm, neutral voice. "You can go and keep wrecking your life. I won''t stop you. I want to help you¡ªbut don''t take it for granted."
She paused. Her shoulders stiffened. Then, slowly, she turned around and sat back down across from me, arms crossed, her eyes hard.
"What exactly do you expect, Paige?" I asked, my voiceced with sarcasm. "You''re cute, sure. But I don''tck cute girls around me¡ªand most don''te with this level of problem."
I leaned forward, voice even. "We''ve talked what¡ªfour times? We can''t even call ourselves friends. We''re barely acquaintances."
She flinched slightly.
"You think I''m moved by your situation? Girl, this country is full of people with broken childhoods and no direction, most of our problemse from that. My own school is packed with them. Girls with parental issues, trouble making friends¡ªand yeah, some of them are cute too. You''re not unique in that."
I let it hang for a moment.
"You know why I don''t go offering a hand to every one of them? Because I can''t care less. They''re not my friends. I''m not a charming prince or some savior. My house isn''t a charity."
She looked down for a second. Then back up, confused.
"But you," I said more softly now, "you''re different. Not because of your situation. Because of your mind. I wouldn''t mind having someone very intelligent, funny and sharp by my side. In no time we can build a real friendship."
She didn''t say anything. But she didn''t leave either.
I reached across the table and took her hand. "I don''t go showing this side of me to just anyone. If we want this to work, at least you need to know that I''m not without ws."
Paige suddenly lunged at me and hugged me tight. "You''re a crap person, Jake. You don''t talk to little girls like me like that," she said yfully.
I snorted, hugging her back. "Yet, it seems we''re gonna be big friends."
She leaned in closer and whispered in my ear, "You sure you don''t want more?" Her voice was low and teasing.
I stood up, letting her fall t on her butt.
"I''m not into little girls," I said, mocking her earlier words and putting emphasis on little girls.
Paige rolled her eyes, stood up, and brushed off her pants. "I will totally make you fall for me!" she dered. Then added, "And you know what I''ll say after?"
I raised my eyebrows, silently prompting her.
She ced both hands on her heart and said in a dramatically sweet tone, "We can''t. I''m your little sister."
I grabbed her hand and kissed it. "If that happens, we move to bama."
She burst outughing. As we were leaving the deck, she nced at me.
"Do you think our kids would be like Sheldon?"
"Eww," I said. "This world can only handle one Sheldon."
We bothughed as we walked back inside together.
---
Later that day, we went to the Santa Monica house. I exined everything to Mom.
"Of course you can stay here," Judith said warmly as she embraced Paige.
I thought to myself¡ªmaybe Mom saw herself in Paige. Her rtionship with my grandparents was still rocky.
"We just need to talk to your parents," she added.
"They don''t care about me," Paige mumbled.
I decided to step out, iming I needed to use the bathroom, and left them alone for a while.
When I returned, Judith called me over.
"Jake,e here," she said, her voice a little serious. "You don''t talk harshly to Paige. She''s thirteen."
She sounded like I had bullied her.
Paige was sitting there with a smug smirk on her face.
"She was drunk and high yesterday," I said immediately, throwing Paige under the bus.
Judith''s head snapped toward her.
"He drank too!" Paige said, pointing at me.
Now Judith red at me.
"She puked all over my room!" I added quickly.
Judith alternated her gaze between the two of us before finally saying, "You two are grounded."
We both went to my room. I didn''t mind¡ªI wanted to read anyway.
"Thanks a lot," Paige muttered, giving me a little jab with her elbow.
"That''s your fault. You started."
"But you didn''t need to escte it," she shot back.
I shook my head. "You''re impressive, Paige. First day here and already grounded."
"Shut up, you idiot. You''re grounded too."
---
In the room, I looked over at her. "Did you decide what you want? You can take your time, you know."
"I''ll call and transfer to Caltech. I''m pretty sure they''ll ept me."
"Are you sure?" I asked, looking at her seriously.
She nodded, with a quiet sort of determination. "Yeah. I''m ready to try. For real this time."
I nodded back. "Don''t worry, I''ll help you."
I know that teachers might not take a thirteen-year-old girl seriously (even if she is a very genius one). I''ll call Pepper and see if she can connect me to someone important over there. You''ve got the capacity, Paige. You just need someone who''s willing to take you under the wings.
------
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Chapter 134: Meeting
Chapter 134 - Meeting
Chapter 132
"Don''t worry, I will help you," I said.
Paige nodded and gave me a kiss on the cheek. A chaste one, with no other meaning involved.
"Thank you! Thank you for everything. That means a lot to me, even if it doesn''t work..."
Before she could finish, I gave her a light tap on the forehead.
"Don''t jinx it. Everything will work out."
She rested her head on my shoulder. We stayed like that for a moment before I said, "If you say something stupid, I will kick you out of the bed."
"I didn''t say anything," Paige murmured.
After a while, she started walking her fingers along my chest. "Hey, do you know that this is my first time in a boy''s room?"
I kicked her off the bed.
"Ouch," she said.
I looked down at her. "That''s a lie. You''ve been in Sheldon''s room and in my room back in Malibu."
"Sheldon doesn''t count, he''s practically asexual. And yesterday I didn''t even see your room," she said, getting back onto the bed.
"I''ll stop the tease," she added and rested her head near me again.
We ended up falling asleep like that.
---
When I woke up, the light was already creeping in through the window. I stretched and looked beside me.
Paige wasn''t there.
I got up and walked out of the room. When I reached the living room, I saw her sitting with Mom, both of them flipping through a photo album.
"What are you two doing?" I asked.
"Your mother is showing me pictures of you when you were young," Paige said with a grin.
I walked over and looked at the album with them. Then I turned to Paige.
"I was cute, right?"
She looked at me oddly and said, "That is not the reaction I was expecting..."
Judith chuckled and exined to Paige, "He might be learning from his uncle. Both have no shame at all."
"Mom, you''re supposed to agree with me! For starters, that''s your job¡ªto tell the girls how cute I was."
Mom red at me deadpan, ignored her motherly duty, and said, "I''ll make dinner for us," then got up.
I looked at Paige and changed the subject. "My friends will be here tomorrow morning."
Paige just nodded.
---
The next day, Carly, Sam, Freddie, Cher, and Regina showed up in the morning. After we exchanged greetings, Carly asked, "What''s so important you want to talk about?"
I held up a hand for a moment and gestured for them to follow me out to the deck.
Paige was standing there, waiting.
"Ta-da," I said. "May I present... my little sister?"
Carly and Freddie screamed, "You have a sister?!"
Cher and Regina shook their heads in unison. "You don''t have a sister," they said with conviction.
Sam was unfazed, lookingpletely indifferent. "Cool," she muttered, already eyeing the snack tray nearby.
"How do you know?" I asked Cher and Regina.
Cher replied, "We''ve talked to your mom. And we''ve met your dad..."
"I got it," I said, cutting her off.
"So who is she?" Regina asked.
I turned to introduce Paige to everyone. "She''s a friend of mine. She''ll be living here, so she''ll be like a little sister. And I want her to hang out with us."
Regina gave me a light shove and walked over to Paige with Cher.
"I like your style," Regina said with a smile. "But if you want, we can help you improve it."
Cher nodded. "And we can introduce you to cute boys, show you the parties that are trending..."
I walked over and wrapped an arm around both their waists. "I changed my mind, you two are out."
They both jabbed me in response.
Carly, Freddie, and Sam walked over and started talking with Paige. She was a little awkward at first, but gradually warmed up. Freddie and Carly were really easygoing, and Cher and Regina¡ªdespite their sharp edges¡ªcould be genuinely nice when someone caught their interest (they knew I wouldn''t let just anyone live here).
After a few hours of conversation, I decided to present them with the proposal I had.
"Hey guys, I have a proposal for you," I said to my friends. "You''re out for now," I looked at Paige, who just pouted.
I handed some papers to Carly, Freddie, and Sam¡ªand two different ones to Cher and Regina.
Sam looked at hers and said, pointing to the title, "iCarly? What is this?"
Carly was already reading and asked, "Is this supposed to be like a show?"
"Yes," I confirmed.
"But we''re not actors..." Freddie said, confused.
"I know, the idea is for you to be spontaneous. That''s why you''ll use your real names."
"Wouldn''t it be like what we did for the school audition this year?" Sam asked.
I nodded.
Yeah, I had them record something like an episode for the school audition. It was a hit, and they won again this year.
"We''ll be on TV? Are you serious about this?" Carly asked, incredulous.
"Dead serious. Unless you don''t want to. We can make a test and see how you feel about it."
"I''m in. Sounds like fun," said Sam.
"Me too," said Freddie.
"I''m okay with it too. But why use my name?" asked Carly.
"iCarly is a good name," Sam, Freddie, and I answered in unison.
Cher interrupted, "Mine is a movie? Clueless..."
"Mine is Mean Girls..." said Regina, narrowing her eyes at me.
"They''re perfect for you two..." I added casually.
Cher and Regina shot me a re.
"What? I''m presenting you with a proposal to star in a movie. You don''t want it?"
They both jumped on me at the same time. "No way, our handsome Jake."
------
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Chapter 135: Debut
Chapter 135 - Debut
Chapter 133
Two weeks had passed, and the group was getting together again at my house in Santa Monica. Paige had adapted well to her new life¡ªwhich wasn''t surprising. My friends are nice, and she could enjoy a life offort (and luxury).
She had quickly managed to transfer to Caltech.
I was in her room now, talking with her about the days she''d be staying in the dorm.
"So you''re going to stay in the dorm Monday and Tuesday next week?"
Paige had managed to get a flexible arrangement. Technically, the first two years were supposed to be mandatory for dorm residency (and most students stay even after that), but Paige was a special case.
"Yep. I only came back today because you said everyone was watching your ex''s TV debut," she said with a smirk.
We were gathering to watch the premiere of Smallville, where Laura was making her debut.
"How''s Caltech?" I asked.
"I''m doing great. But Sheldon is annoying as always..." she replied.
"At least you have a friend there," I said, smirking.
She looked at me annoyed. "I''ll befriend a very beautiful girl and bring her here. And make sure you never kiss her!" she mocked.
"Good luck with that," I mocked back.
"And what about Missy?" I asked, changing the subject.
"Nah, the moment you said you''d kiss her, she''d break any deal we had," she replied yfully.
I rolled my eyes. "I wasn''t talking about that."
"She''s still grounded. She will be until the end of the month..."
"Mom was too lenient to let you go with only three days..." I murmured.
"Hey, you don''t even stay grounded for a day," she snapped back.
"Why should I be grounded? I was a charming prince helping a drunk girl in distress..."
Paige just threw a plush toy at me.
"By the way, back to Caltech. How''s it going with the professors I mentioned?"
"Dr. Eric Gablehauser is helping me a lot, and surprisingly he listens to my opinions. Dr. Siebert is the Chairman of the Physics Department at Caltech, so he doesn''t have much time, but he helps when he can."
"How do you know those two? They basically run the department..." Paige asked, clearly impressed.
"Lil'' sister, this world is all about power and money."
Dr. Siebert''s daughter wants to be an actress. Pepper just had to connect the dots. And no one could say anything. It''s not like they''re giving Paige unfair advantages¡ªher potential and talent are undeniable.
Gablehauser just followed the flow. If Siebert rises further, he''ll probably be next in line to head the department.
The doorbell rang.
---
Everyone arrived not long after, and soon the living room was full. We all sat on therge sectional sofa in front of the massive TV.
Carly looked excited. "That''s exciting, seeing a friend on TV."
Cher, Regina, and I all looked at her weirdly.
"Carly, you''re in a series. Your name is in the title," I said, raising an eyebrow. "You''ve already been in a movie and in a hugely sessful music video."
Carly looked confused for a second, thenughed. "I guess I''m just not used to it yet. It still feels surreal. I mean, I never took acting sses, let alone went through auditions..."
"I just love our gig better," said Sam. "I''m being paid just to be myself."
"You''re wee," I said. Sam and I bumped fists.
"When is it being released?" asked Freddie.
"Next month," I replied. "Nickelodeon liked the three episodes we recorded. We''ll release and see the public reaction."
Pepper already made a deal with them.
I paused, then added, "We''re also recording a few more episodes just to stay ahead. They even suggested a writer¡ªa young Dan Schneider¡ªbut unfortunately, he had five of his limbs severely injured."
Freddie blinked. "Wait... five?"
"Yeah, don''t ask," I muttered.
After a few minutes, the show started.
As rk Kent appeared on screen, Cher sighed and said, "He is so dreamy."
I immediately kicked her off the sofa.
She looked at me, annoyed. "Seriously, Jake?"
I shrugged. "Sorry, reflex."
A few minutester, the moment everyone had been waiting for arrived. Laura appeared on screen as Chloe Sullivan.
"There she is!" said Regina with a smile.
"She looks cute with short hair," added Carly.
"Woah, that was Jake''s ex?" Paige eximed in surprise. Then she turned to me, mocking, "She is waaay out of your league."
"For your information, she was the one who approached me first," I replied.
A loud, synchronized, "Yeah, right," echoed through the room.
Sam smirked at me. "You hit on her the first day."
Cher corrected, "He hit on her with the very first ''hi.''"
"I was only being polite," I protested.
Suddenly, my phone buzzed. I picked up my new Samsung SPH-i300 and looked at the screen.
"See?" I said, holding up the phone for everyone to see. "Guess who just texted me."
Everyone leaned in. Paige narrowed her eyes. "Is that... Laura?" Paige read the contact name.
"Yup. She asked if I saw her scene. I told her we''re all watching together."
"Isn''t it weird everyone looks like adults?" asked Freddie indignantly, changing the subject. "They''re freshmen in high school. They''re supposed to be a year younger than us!"
"Ha, I agree with Freddie," I said. "And Lex is like 21. Isn''t it strange that he''s going to be hanging out with a bunch of 14-year-olds?"
I paused for a moment. Wait... why do I feel like I just made a self burn... let''s forget about this.
------
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Chapter 136: Millennium Prize Problems
Chapter 136 - Millennium Prize Problems
Chapter 134
The episode continued, and the room stayed quiet for a few minutes¡ªone of those rare moments where everyone was too engaged to talk.
"That was really good," said Cher. "I''m happy for Laura."
Everyone else chimed in with their praise, nodding in agreement.
"Let''s send a message to her," added Regina, already pulling out her phone.
I stood up without saying a word and left the room. I had already congratted Laura and exchanged a few messages with her during the show¡ªshe was torn between texting me and telling me to focus on watching.
A minuteter, I returned carrying a medium-sized box. Everyone turned their heads as I ced it on the coffee table.
"What''s that?" asked Carly.
I didn''t answer right away. I simply opened the lid, revealing the contents inside while the group leaned in curiously.
I opened the box and showed it to them.
"iPod?" asked Freddie, reading thebel on the box.
"Yes. It''s Apple''s new product," I said, handing one to each of them. "It''s like an MP3 yer, but it can hold up to a thousand songs."
Apple wanted a Marshmello song to use in their ads. Pepper made a counteroffer, asking for a special edition of the iPod¡ªMarshmello version. Same price, but with a Marshmello face engraved on the back and all 25 songs released so far preloaded, including the ones from the uing album.
They agreed to pay us $25 for each iPod sold. It woulde from their profit margin, since the retail price would remain the same.
Jobs wasn''t happy about it, but somehow the board managed to convince him. God knows how.
"It will only be announced next week, on the 23rd," I continued. "And sales start on November 10th."
This iPod is still big. But it''s probably the best MP3 yer on the market.
As I looked around, I saw everyone had already opened their boxes and were holding the little bricks in their hands.
"Here, let me show you how it works," I said, taking one unit and turning it slightly. "You can scroll by rotating this wheel."
Yeah, first generation wasn''t touch-sensitive¡ªthe round part had to be physically turned. Retro tech at its finest.
"It has the Marshmello face on it, and all his songs... nice!" Paige said, turning it around.
We all looked at her.
"Oh, yeah, Paige. I''m Marshmello," I said to her casually.
She snapped at me. "What???"
"I said I am Marshmello," I repeated.
"I hear that," she said a little angrily. "What do you mean you are Marshmello?" Paige asked.
"That. I. Am. Him?!" I said, pausing between the words.
Before we could continue the back-and-forth, Sam said, unfazed, "It''s him. Jake is not making a prank."
Paige looked at me, incredulously. "How could you be him?"
"Now I''m the one who''s incredulous and outraged. How did you just ept it because Sam said so?"
Sam put her arm around Paige''s shoulders. "We bond together."
Paige gave a wide smile.
"Oh, no. I have a bad feeling about this," murmured Freddie, with Carly nodding in agreement.
They had seen Paige''s personality over the past two weeks¡ªrebellious and mischievous.
"Let''se back to Marshmello," said Paige. "You are the most popr singer in the world??!" Still not believing.
"Yes, we all went numb about it..." murmured Regina with an unfocused re.
"Jake sang the best two songs. We are all in his clips," Cher began.
"But I thought it was because of Regina''s dad." Said Paige
"Nah, he wouldn''t do that," Regina affirmed. "He wants me to make it on my own. He only helped Marshmello¡ªwith Rupert¡ªbecause he thought Pepper had great potential. Maybe also because Marshmello gave me a chance to be in the video clip."
"There''s the best part," Cher continued, "we met J.Lo, Christina Aguilera, and Britney. And Jake is going to keep singing with even more celebrities."
"What??" screamed Paige.
---
A few days passed. I was texting with Laura¡ªshe texted first, saying she was happy that after airing the first two episodes, which averaged 7.8 million viewers, the WB had ced an order for a full season of 21 episodes.
I stayed in Malibu over the weekend, and Paige stayed in the dorm on Monday and Tuesday. I decided to go to her room and knocked on the door. Nothing. I knocked again and rang the doorbell (we had installed doorbells in every room¡ªMomined I never heard her knocking).
After a moment, Paige opened the door and said, "Come in."
I walked in and froze. "What the hell..." I murmured, staring at the chaos around me. Flip charts filled with equations were scattered everywhere. The whiteboard she had installed on the wall was also covered in dense math. Then I looked up¡ªand my jaw dropped.
"How the hell did you get those giant equations on the ceiling?" I muttered.
She shrugged and replied with a grin, "Optimizing vertical space is essential when dealing with non-linear dynamical systems in constrained environments. Plus, I had sticky pads and adder."
I took a few steps back and closed the door.
Paige tried to open it and shouted, "What are you doing?"
"You''re going to destroy the country, and I don''t want to be part of it," I replied dramatically from outside.
After a few more sarcasticments, I opened the door again and stepped inside. "Okay... what is all this?"
She rolled her eyes at my childish behavior but said, "I''mpeting with Sheldon to see who can solve one of the Millennium Prize Problems."
"Huh, P versus NP, Navier¨CStokes, Poincar¨¦ Conjecture, Riemann, Hodge Conjecture ..." I said, reading some of the problems scribbled across the top of her ceiling equations.
I twitched my eyes. "Are you trying to solve all seven at once?"
"No, I just looked to see which one I had more chances with," she said.
Then I looked at her, keeping my re. "What?" she asked weirdly.
"This isn''t about Sheldon," I said. "Or at least, not only about him. Say it."
Paige was about to dodge the question, but ended up saying, "You''re already the best singer in the world. I want to be on top too."
I patted her head. "It''s good to get motivated, but don''t get burned by it. Don''t push yourself too hard."
"Don''t worry," Paige replied, resting her head on my shoulder. "Now I have someone I can lean on if anything happens."
I embraced her for a moment and said, "Okay, let''s kick that C-3PO ass. Which ones do you think you''re closest to?"
She pointed at P versus NP, Navier¨CStokes, and Poincar¨¦ Conjecture.
"Poincar¨¦... this is the one," I said, remembering it was the only one that had been solved. Something with Ri flow surgery and about spheres or something.
Paige replied, still with her head on my shoulder, "I was trying to solve it with Ri flow..."
"How about surgery?" I asked.
She looked at me weirdly, then suddenly a light sparked in her eyes. "You are a genius!" she eximed.
"Of course I am," I said, cing my hands on my hips.
Now she was looking suspicious. "Do you even know what Ri flow surgery is?"
"No idea. Not so ever. I read it somewhere, but I have no clue," I replied.
Now she was looking at me with deadfish eyes, like I was the dumbest person in the world.
------
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Chapter 137: Coffee
Chapter 137 - Coffee
"Can''t we just go home?" my dad groaned as we walked into the small beachside caf¨¦ with Uncle Charlie.
"If I gotta drag you to the doctor," Uncle Charlie began, pushing open the door, "at eight in the morning..."
He gestured toward the counter. "...you can cool your jets while I get coffee."
Dad rubbed the bandage covering his left eye. "I must look like an idiot."
"Wish I could tell you otherwise," Charlie quipped without missing a beat.
"You''re the reason we ended up at the eye doctor in the first ce," Dad muttered.
Charlie shrugged. "You said, ''Throw me a piece of toast.''"
"And I did!" he added, raising his eyebrows. "I tossed you a piece of toast."
I was still staring at Dad,pletely baffled. "How the hell do you get hurt with toast?" I asked, eyeing the bandage over his eye.
While Charlie ordered drinks, Dad already had his cup and walked over to the table that had milk and other add-ins. But with no depth perception, he was missing everything¡ªpouring milk beside the cup, spilling sugar all over the table.
"Stop, stop¡ªjust let me handle it," I stepped in. "I got this. Go sit down."
He sighed and handed me the sugar spoon.
As I fixed his drink, I heard a voice from across the room.
"Charlie?"
"Charlie Harper?"
I nced over and saw a woman approaching the table where Uncle Charlie and Dad were seated.
"Hey, how''ve you been?" Charlie greeted with a charming smile.
"Wow, how long has it been?" the woman responded.
"Way too long. This is my brother, n," Charlie introduced.
"Hi. This is my daughter, Milly," she continued.
"Hi, Milly," Charlie acknowledged warmly.
"Hello, Milly," Dad echoed.
I walked over to join them, wiping my hands on a napkin.
"Hey," I greeted the woman, then turned to her daughter. She was a lovely blonde, probably a bit older than me. I leaned in and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. "Jake."
"Milly," she replied, mirroring my smile.
Then she tilted her head. "And I know you," she noted, eyes narrowing in recognition.
I raised an eyebrow.
"I went to your birthday. Nice party, and great song, by the way!"
I handed the drink to Dad, then smirked at Milly. "Want to grab that table and talk?" I offered, gesturing with my head. "Let the grown-ups catch up."
"Sure," she agreed, grinning back.
"That really is your son, huh," the woman remarked, a little incredulous after watching her daughter charmed.
Charlie just grinned, while Dad interjected, mildly offended. "Excuse me, he''s my son!"
After a short while, Milly''s mom returned to the table. "We have to get going," she announced.
She turned to Charlie. "Call me sometime. Maybe we can have dinner, catch up."
As she turned away, I leaned toward Milly and gave her a quick kiss on the lips. "See you," I murmured.
She smiled. "See you, Jake."
The three of us settled in to finish our drinks. I ordered a cupcake for myself.
Dad looked between us and shook his head. "You two are unbelievable. We came here for coffee, and somehow you''re both lining up dates¡ª"
Before he could finish, another voice broke in.
"Hey, Charlie, long time."
"Hey, Sherri. Yeah. Good to see you," Charlie responded with his signature smile, then turned to us. "This is my brother, n."
"Hi," she replied.
"Hello," Dad acknowledged politely.
"And this is my nephew, Jake," Charlie added.
"Nice to meet you," I said, shaking her hand.
She smiled, holding her drink, and nced at Dad.
"What happened to your eye?"
"Well, I asked for a piece of toast and... bar fight," Dad exined with a perfectly straight face.
"Good seeing you, Charlie," Sherri offered.
"You too," Charlie returned with a grin.
Once she walked away, Dad turned to Charlie. "Wow, you went out with her?"
"Yep," Charlie confirmed casually.
"Why would you stop?"
"I don''t really remember," Charlie admitted with a shrug. "Probably got bored."
"Bored? How do you get bored with that?" asked n incredulously.
Charlie leaned back and replied, "For every beautiful woman, there''s at least one guy out there... who''s tired of pretending to listen to her in exchange for sex."
"Well, let me go on record as saying," n dered, "I am not that guy.
If I ever had a woman like that, I would cherish her.
I would worship her. I would...
...start a small country and put her face on a stamp so I could lick her head."
"Creepy, Dad," I muttered. "Why don''t you go talk to her?"
"Yeah, right," he scoffed. "Gorgeous women like that are not interested in pasty guys like me... unless we''re in line for the British throne."
"So you give up without even trying?" Charlie asked.
"Yep. That''s my motto," Dad replied.
"Why waste time on 10s when you''re already getting rejected by sixes?"
Charlie leaned in and looked at him. "n, listen to me. You are a smart, sensitive, good-looking man... with some milky dischargeing out of one eye... but who amongst us is perfect?"
I raised my hand, making the two of them re at me
"Come on, Dad," I chimed in. "For once in your life, don''t settle. Go for what you really want."
Dad paused, then straightened up. "You know what? You''re right, Jake. I''m gonna go talk to her."
As he started walking toward Sherri, Charlie leaned closer to me and smirked. "You really like the blonde ones, huh." Referring to Milly
I re at him for a moment and thought, That''s actually true... (Mandy, Laura, Cher, Regina...)
Charlie raised an eyebrow, clearly reading my mind. We both chuckled quietly, watching Dad approach Sherri with caution determination.
We both observed n from a distance. At first, things seemed to go surprisingly well¡ªSherri smiled, Dad looked rxed, even confident.
But then, just as he tried to sit down beside her, hepletely misjudged the position of the chair.
With a soft thud and a loud grunt, n missed entirely and hit the floor.
Charlie and I facepalmed at the same time.
"And there it is," Charlie muttered.
------
A/N: Milly: Brenda Emily Feldman, mix with Milly - Two and half men, Brenda Feldman - Modern Family. Actress Hayley Erin (both)
A/N 2: Jake is very rich, very popr, and sings well. He''s on very easy mode for most high school girls ¡ª just like it was for Drake from Drake & Josh. And Drake wasn''t even close to Jake.
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Chapter 138: Dates
Chapter 138 - Dates
Chapter 136
The front door creaked open as Charlie, Dad, and I stepped into the Malibu beach house.
n burst through the entryway, singing. "Sherri, baby," he crooned dramatically.
He spun on one foot and pointed both index fingers toward Charlie and me. "Sherri baby," he sang again.
Charlie and I looked at each other. There was no stopping it.
"Sherri, baby," we echoed in resigned harmony.
Dad wasn''t done. With renewed enthusiasm, he belted out, "Sherri, won''t youe out tonight!"
He struck a pose like he was on a Broadway stage.
"That''s it. I''m out," Charlie said, heading for a drink.
"Oh,e on," Dad called after him.
"No, no, no. No more," Charlie insisted. "You got a date. Leave it alone."
"Not just a date. A date with¡ª"
"Enough."
"I''d think you''d be happy for me," Dad said.
"I am happy for you," Charlie replied, grabbing a bottle. "You had the courage to walk over... with your pus-filled eye and fall on your ass... and still got a date with one of the most beautiful women I''ve ever met."
"I''m not only happy for you, I''m proud."
"Thank you," Dad said, touched.
"Now, I have to re-evaluate everything I thought I knew... about men, women, rtionships, God, and the universe. But that''s not your problem."
Dad said thoughtfully, "Charlie, I am as surprised as you that she said yes."
"I don''t think so," Charlie replied.
While the two of them continued their back and forth, I slipped away quietly and headed to my room. I sat down on my bed, opened the folderbeled "Report Financials," and began reading through thetest report.
"Brokeback Mountain closed at $83,043,761 Domestic, $95,018,998 International, and $178,062,759 Worldwide. Lost in Trantion has already passed the $120 million mark Worldwide."
I murmured to myself, "So we''ve hit the $1 billion gross revenue mark if we add up all four films... and that using around 32 million dors."
I flipped the page.
"We already sold $100 million in DVDs for Paranormal Activity and My Big Fat Greek Wedding. And that''s with thetter only recently released. Pepper said it could go around 30 to 40 percent of the movie''s gross revenue in DVD sales... though there''s not really a rule of thumb (could be much less or much higher). We used the profit to expand thepany, as it was already growing toward thousands of employees."
I kept reading.
"We bought 40% of NetEase and made a takeover bid on Hansen''s Natural. We acquired 90% of thepany, the former owner remains as CEO (and had the 10%). NetEase was bought through Jacob Funds, but Hansen''s Natural was acquired by JD Company, since it will be strongly linked to Marshmello''s image. They decided to release Monster sooner and changed thepany name (not waiting until Tomorrond)."
I leaned back, processing everything, then kept going.
As we entered the TV series world with iCarly, Pepper and I decided to branch into other shows too.
We bought the House script and made a deal with Eric Kripke, who had been developing Supernatural for years. Both series will air on Fox Channel.
And the third project is a show called America''s Got Talent, which will be aired on NBC. The judges are already confirmed: Piers Morgan, Howie Mandel, and Sharon Osbourne, with Regis Philbin as the host.
Thest project was originally a famous teen show from Disney. Here, it will be from Nickelodeon, as we decided to negotiate it together with iCarly. Let''s ride the wizard future hype (as HP first movie will be soon released)
I closed the folder and stood up, heading back to the kitchen for ate afternoon coffee. Charlie was already there, fixing himself another drink.
"How about a double date tonight? I pay for the dinner," he said, ncing at me.
I stopped, gave him a long stare, then slowly raised an eyebrow.
"You don''t know who she was, right?" I asked, staring straight at him.
Uncle Charlie red at me for a second, but then sighed and admitted with a shrug, "I don''t have any clue..."
"Well, her daughter''s name is Brenda Emily Feldman. She likes to be called Milly. So... Feldman rings any bell?" I asked.
Charlie tapped his chin, pondering for a moment, then shook his head. "Nope. Nothing."
"Okay, I''ll text Milly," I said.
A few minutester, I nced up from my phone. "Her name is Amanda Feldman. She likes painting and writing poetry, just like Milly. It seems like she hasn''t seen you in about twelve years."
"How old is the girl again?" Charlie asked.
"She''s sixteen," I replied.
Charlie let out a deep breath. "Uff, thank God."
"Still not sure. What else do you have?" Charlie pressed.
"Uncle Charlie, I can''t keep asking about her mother without being weird. But I can say one more thing¡ªshe''s divorced," I replied.
Charlie looked at me for a moment, then smirked. "So, about the dinner..."
"I''ll go," I said, pouring my coffee. "But you can''t screw it up with her until Halloween. I already invited Milly to the party."
---
The dinner went surprisingly well, with Uncle Charlie and I fishing for information. We eventually found out she had been a summer fling for Charlie, after her first divorce (yeah, she''s now on her second). When the girls went to the bathroom, Uncle Charlie confided that they only kissed, which is why he hadn''t remembered her...
"You are scum, Uncle Charlie," I murmured.
"And yet we are here thanks to that," he retorted.
"That''s also wrong. Milly was into me from the very beginning. She was at my birthday party. Not that I remember¡ªI was totally with Laura that day."
"Okay, Don Juan. You can have the deck, after I invited them to our house," Charlie said, ring at me.
After the meal, we all went back to Malibu.
While Uncle Charlie was having a "conversation" with Amanda inside, I was on the deck with Milly, kissing her.
------
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Chapter 139: Halloween
Chapter 139 - Halloween
Chapter 137
Mom and I were in the kitchen having afternoon coffee when Paige walked in wearing a Halloween costume (the party wouldn''t start for a few more hours).
"Check it, I''m a scary ck cat," said Paige.
"Dear, the only person that costume scares is me. Go change it," said Judith.
I looked at them weirdly. I swear I''ve seen this scene somewhere else. But hey, who am I to talk about giarism?
"Mom is right, Paige. It''s a teen party. You''re not trying to seduce a Japanese businessman..." I added.
She huffed a little but changed into a more decent outfit.
---
After a while, Carly, Sam, and Freddie arrived.
I looked at them strangely.
"What are you three wearing?"
"I''m a tuna sushi," said Carly, who was wearing a beige dress and some sort of prop on her back.
Paige whispered, "You were talking about Japanese businessmen?"
"Yeah, but Carly is just being cute," I retorted.
"I''m Lewbert," replied Freddie.
"Wasn''t that your weird doorman?" I asked.
"Yes," said Freddie, making some faces.
"And you, Sam?" I asked again.
"I''m a hand sanitizer," she said, unfazed.
I red at Paige, raising an eyebrow.
"I''m happy with my costume now," she dered.
But then, Cher and Regina arrived dressed as bunnies.
Now Paige was giving me the look.
"They''re almost 16, and they''re bad influences," I exined.
I made the two of them tone it down a little.
I went to my room and changed my clothes. I was now wearing a vampire costume (Regina''s idea). When I came back to the living room I asked:
"Are we all ready?" I said, looking at them.
Cher and Regina nodded in approval at my outfit, but Regina added, "Let''s put some makeup on your face," already grabbing a makeup kit.
"Okay..." I agreed. "But just the white powder. I don''t need lipstick."
"We all know why..." murmured Cher, helping Regina apply the makeup.
---
A few minutester, the doorbell rang and the first guest arrived.
"Hey, if you need anything from me, I''ll be on the deck," I said, looking at Cher, Regina, and Paige.
Carly, Freddie, and Sam were exploring our haunted house (we rented one from an amusement park,plete with actors. It runs on a small train).
I went inside and greeted Milly. She was wearing a witch costume. We stayed on the deck until the party really started.
---
7 p.m., an hour after the party officially opened, I stopped kissing Milly and said to her, "We should head to the party."
She smiled and nodded.
As we walked through the house toward the party, a few people greeted me.
"Hey Jake," said a group made up of four girls and two boys.
"Hello, guys. Wee to the party and have fun!" I greeted back with a smile. They kept walking.
"Who are they?" Milly asked curious
"I have absolutely no idea..." I replied honestly.
Sheughed, a little surprised. "But it''s your party."
"Yeah, but Cher and Regina handle the guest list. I think even they don''t know everyone here," I exined.
I was watching my security team checking the guests. Mostly for dangerous items and drugs. I have a zero-tolerance drug policy. Same as during my birthday.
We walked into the main party area.
A whileter, a kid somehow managed to sneak into the party. He spotted Milly and decided to confess his feelings.
She looked at him weirdly, rejecting him instantly. I stepped closer (I had been talking to Terrance).
Milly gave me a kiss and said she needed to go to the bathroom.
What the hell is Manny doing here? I thought, while looking at the kid
Manny looked at me and froze.
"It''s you again," he said, pointing at me.
"How did you even get into my party, kiddo?" I asked, already signaling security.
Before he could answer, a guard showed up.
"Get him out of here. This isn''t a kindergarten party."
"I''m not a kid!" Manny shouted, outraged, as the guard grabbed his shoulder and started escorting him out.
Just then, a girl spoke up. "Wait!"
Everyone turned to her.
A girl dressed in a ck cat costume stepped forward.
"I''m Haley. Haley Dunphy."
"Jake Harper," I said. "What are you wearing?" admiring her sexy costume a bit
"I''m a scary ck cat," she replied, moving closer to me.
Huh. Now I remember where I saw the morning scene
"So, you''re with him?" I asked.
"Yes. Can he stay?" she asked, running her hand down my arm, clearly trying to seduce me.
I grabbed her chin gently and tilted her face up. Yeah, she was kinda cute. And the costume did add to the appeal.
"I got it," I said with a smile.
"You do?" she asked with a smirk, still touching me.
"Yeah." I took her hand off me and turned to the guard.
"Get her out too."
"What??" she said, stunned and outraged.
"Go babysit that kid until someonees to pick you two up."
A female guard grabbed Haley by the shoulder and escorted her out.
"Wait, wait! I don''t know him!" she protested.
I waved my hand dismissively. The party didn''tck cute girls. Besides, I already had a partner tonight.
Speaking of cute girls, more had just arrived. I went to greet them.
"Cara, Lauren, and Pippa, d you made it. Make yourselves at home," I said, my eyes lingering a bit longer on Pippa.
The three of them smiled and greeted me back¡ªPippa with the biggest smile of them all.
Pippa had dyed her normally ck hair blonde and added colorful streaks. She wore a bright rainbow-colored sweater, a flowery skirt, long multicolored socks, and several bracelets on each wrist.
I narrowed my eyes and gave a thoughtful look at her. She tilted her head and said, "What?"
"I don''t get how it works. You''re wearing like... rainbow, but somehow that''s incredibly cute," I said honestly.
------
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Chapter 140: Halloween II
Chapter 140 - Halloween II
Chapter 138
I was still standing in front of Pippa, who tilted her head at mystment, a softugh escaping her lips.
"You really think this looks cute?" she asked, gesturing to her chaotic mix of colors.
"I mean, yeah," I replied, still watching her. "It shouldn''t work¡ªbut somehow, it does. You look like a Lisa Frank notebook that came to life."
Pippa blushed and looked away, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear.
"I told her she''d look adorable," Cara said. "I called her Enid Sinir¡ªWednesday''s best friend."
"From the Addams Family?" I asked, intrigued.
Lauren jumped in. "Yep. Cara''s obsessed with that movie. She even wrote a novel about Wednesday''s teenage years. I''m dressed as Bianca Bary¡ªher rival."
"Lauren!" Cara eximed, clearly embarrassed.
"What? You already told him the name you gave to Pip''s character," Lauren replied with a shrug.
"Yeah, but I was only going to say it was based on an idea I had..." Cara muttered.
"You should let me read it," I offered. "I''ve got a few connections in TV. If it''s good, who knows? Carly, Freddie, and Sam are starring in a new show next week."
Pippa was probably from a Netflix series. Enid too. Unfortunately, I didn''t watch much Netflix. With all the crossovers, I honestly can''t tell who''s still fictional and who turned out to be real.
I only check beforeunching a film or series¡ªto make sure the person doesn''t actually exist. And if they don''t have superpowers, I don''t worry much.
I''m not going to stalk someone just because they were part of a show in my past life. Besides, they tend to show up around me naturally (God bless the plot)
Pippa gently held Cara''s arms. "You really should show him," she said, then turned to me. "I''ve read it¡ªit''s genuinely great."
Cara stayed flustered.
Lauren grinned. "I forgot you''re basically all famous. Carly and Sam have done movies, and now they''re doing a series. Cher and Regina were in Marshmello''s music videos. And you''ve sung two of his songs. You even had a thing with Chloe Sullivan," she added with a teasing smirk.
"Don''t forget Freddie," I said. "He''s our cameraman. The only reason he didn''t appear before was because he didn''t want to. But in the new series, iCarly, he''ll finally be on screen."
Milly returned from the bathroom and wrapped her arm around mine.
"These are my friends from school: Pippa, Lauren, and Cara," I said. "This is Milly."
"Of course he''s with someone..." Cara whispered to Pippa, earning a nudge in return.
They all greeted each other.
"Where''s that little weirdo?" Milly murmured.
"I took him out of the party," I said.
Turning back to the girls, I added with a grin, "Can you believe it? A kid confessed to Milly just minutes before you arrived."
Milly gave me a yful pinch.
"I can. What would surprise me is someone older being brave enough to try that here," Lauren said.
"Hey, you make it sound like I''m some kind of hooligan," I replied, feigning indignance.
Not a single idiot had tried hitting on someone who came with me. Cher and Regina must''ve done a solid job curating the guest list. And really, how stupid would someone have to be to flirt with the partner of a guy who can call in three dozen brutal bodyguards?
Just then, someone else appeared¡ªdressed as Marshmello¡ªand gave me a big hug.
She yfully pped my forehead. "Don''t look at me like I''m troublesome." Her voice changed for normal
"But you are," I said, smirking.
Turning back to the others, I introduced her. "Guys, this is Brit, my friend."
Everyone greeted her.
"She doesn''t seem British. She doesn''t have the ent," Pippa said, puzzled, confusing the nickname with someone actually from Britain.
"She was just born there," I lied.
Yeah, Britney just bugged me toe. We had to set up a whole n so she could show up without alerting any paparazzi.
"Nice party!" she said, looking around.
I gave her a suspicious look. "I don''t know if you''re just being polite," considering she''s probably been to the best parties in the world. "And besides, everyone here is like 16... are you sure you''re okay with that?"
"Heyy, I''m only a bit older than that. And I didn''t go to many parties without, you know?" she replied.
Without being the center of attention, she must have meant. And here, there were probably six or seven people dressed as Marshmello, making her even less noticeable.
"Okay, let''s have some fun," I dered to the five of them, pointing things out. "There''s a Haunted House, Themed Escape Room, Fortune Teller, Cursed Treasure Hunt, Themed Photobooth, Mysterious Boxes ¨C ''Touch if You Dare'', Horror Movie Trivia... some of them even have prizes."
We started with the w machine. It was filled with Halloween-themed plush toys¡ªvampires, mummies, pumpkins, witches. Each person had three tries before passing it on to the next.
Pippa went first, concentrating hard as she aimed for a ck cat plush. She missed by a hair and groaned. "This thing''s rigged."
Lauren took over next, determined to prove her wrong.
"Let''s see," she said, cracking her knuckles.
And then Cara. No one got anything on their first turn (3 chances), but the room was filled withughter and yful taunts.
I gave it a shot and managed to get one on my first try. I pulled out a small vampire plush and handed it to Milly.
"Hey, get that one for me," Brit said, pointing at a bat plush that looked like it had flown straight out of a Pok¨¦mon episode.
I focused and dropped the w perfectly. Momentster, the plushnded in the chute.
"There you go," I said, handing it to her.
"You''re actually really good at this," Pippa said, impressed.
Then a voice chimed in from behind us. "w machine runs on a randomized program. So even if you''re skilled, you probably won''t win unless you''ve been ''chosen''. Jake must have someone cheating the system, making sure the w always grips tightly when it''s his turn."
"No one likes a smartass, Paige," I said unfazed
------
A/N: There won''t be any characters with superpowers. Some characters from shows who originally had powers might appear, but those abilities will be removed. At most, you''ll have something like Sam winning a fight against someone bigger than her.
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Chapter 141: Halloween III
Chapter 141: Halloween III
Chapter 139
Paige smirked, stepping forward with her arms crossed.
"Everyone, this is Paige¡ªmy little sister," I said, gesturing toward her.
They all greeted her with a mix of smiles and casual waves.
"Hey, Paige." "Nice to meet you."
"Cool costume," Lauren added.
Paige nodded back with a half-smile, not used to being the center of attention.
"I didn¡¯t know you had a sister, Jake," Pippa said, raising an eyebrow.
"I¡¯m not," Paige replied. "Not by blood."
"She¡¯s just as annoying as one. For a few reasons, she¡¯s living with me now. Doesn¡¯t look like it, but she¡¯s actually really smart," I said.
"You¡¯re not one to talk about that," Pippa replied with a grin.
"Pips?!" I gasped, giving her a look of mock betrayal.
Then I let Brit take the controls.
"Three tries each, right?" Brit confirmed, already leaning in to study the machine.
"Yep," I nodded. "Then pass it on. House rules."
Brit¡¯s first two attempts were dramatic failures. Her third, though, actually snagged a tiny ghost plush. She held it up triumphantly.
"You see? No cheating. Just Marshmello magic," she said.
Paige rolled her eyes but cracked a smile.
Milly went next and almost got a mummy. It slipped at thest second, and she cursed under her breath while the others giggled.
Lauren managed to grab a mini pumpkin plush by the stem.
Pippa stepped forward. Her first trypletely missed, but on the third, the w actually locked onto a bat plush with sparkly wings. Everyone cheered when it dropped cleanly into the prize chute.
"Finally," she said.
After that, we moved to the giant memory game.
It was a massive wall-sized board with 100 matching pairs hidden behind small square panels. Each team had one minute to view the entire board with the covers open. Then, everything flipped face down and the game began.
Three teams took turns, flipping two squares at a time, trying to remember the positions of each item. Every correct match scored a point, and a staff member stood nearby jotting down scores.
I quickly spoke up. "I¡¯m teaming with Paige."
Cara shrugged and joined Brit, while Pippa paired with Lauren. Milly was okay not to y.
When the countdown ended, the covers dropped, and our minute of memorization began.
Everyone stared at the grid, whispering pair figures and mentally locking in positions.
Then the timer beeped, the board flipped, and round one was on.
Pippa and Lauren went first. They managed to find five matching pairs before they got it wrong.
After, it was our turn. I leaned toward Paige and whispered, "Do your magic."
Paige rolled her eyes¡ªbut did the magic.
One by one, she flipped square after square, rapidly revealing match after match. Within moments, she had cleared ny-five of the remaining pairs with machine-like precision.
The room fell silent. Mouths dropped.
The staff member holding the clipboard stared at the board in disbelief.
I put my hand in front of my mouth, turning to Brit. "Zero points," I whispered dramatically.
Then I looked at Pippa. "Five points," I said with a smirk.
The girls crossed their arms, exchanging suspicious looks.
"You cheat at the w machine, now you cheat with Paige?" Pippa said, narrowing her eyes at me.
"No way!" I shot back, indignantly. "Paige is legit, she has eidetic memory. And the machine was mine in the first ce."
"Seriously," I added. "At home, I don¡¯t even ask Mom where stuff is anymore. I just ask Paige."
That made everyone giggle.
After the memory game, we split up.
Pippa, Cara, and Lauren headed off to explore the haunted house.
Brit, Milly, and I went to meet up with Cher and Regina, who were taking photos in the photobooth.
Meanwhile, Paige joined Carly, Sam, and Freddie.
The five of us went to the Fortune Teller.
"I got the best fortune ever," I said, stepping away from the tent with a grin.
"That¡¯s because the fortune teller knows you¡¯re the one hosting the party," Cher said deadpan.
"Why am I paying a fraud again?" I asked the two of them (Obviously, I never believed in this stuff.)
"People like it," Regina replied with a shrug.
Then she leaned in and whispered to me, "And she might say bad luck to a few people we don¡¯t like."
We made our way to the Escape Room next. It was cleverly designed, full of eerie props and tricky puzzles. We solved most of them with only a few hints.
Following that, we yed Skull Bowling¡ªyes, literal skull-shaped bowling balls. Surprisingly, Milly turned out to be the best at it, knocking down strikes like a pro.
To wrap things up, we caught up with the others at the Haunted House. Britney hit me twice with her mask while trying to hug me mid-scare. Both times, she jumped at the same moment the animatronics screamed.
"That¡¯s the third time you¡¯ve attacked me tonight," I muttered, rubbing my head.
"I was protecting you from the skeletons," she said, totally unconvincing.
There was dancing, that intensified when the new Marshmello song yed:
(Timber ¨C Pitbull)
?It¡¯s going down
I¡¯m yelling timber
You better move, you better dance
Let¡¯s make a night you won¡¯t remember
I¡¯ll be the one you won¡¯t forget?
?Oh oh oh oh oh
It¡¯s going down
Oh oh oh oh oh
It¡¯s going down?
?The big they are, the harder they fall
This biggity boys are diggity out
I have ¡¯em like Miley, clothes off...?
Yeah, o took the Cyrus, I didn¡¯t find any name to rece it.
And some impromptu karaoke¡ªwhich Britney clearly wanted to lead but held herself back¡ªand plenty of other attractions to keep the energy high.
By half past midnight, everyone else had gone home. The eight of us¡ªCarly, Freddie, Sam, Cher, Regina, Paige, and Britney¡ªwere sprawled out on the couches, barely moving.
"Can I take the mask off now?" Britney whispered to me.
"Yeah, the party¡¯s all friends now," I replied.
When Britney took off the mask, everyone froze. Cher and Regina looked like their eyes were about to pop out of their heads.
Carly blinked twice. "Wait. Is that... who do I think it is?"
Paige was speechless, her mouth open.
"No way," Cher said slowly. "You¡¯ve got to be kidding me."
Britney gave a small smile and a shrug. "Surprise?"
"Oh, yeah. I didn¡¯t tell any of you, huh," I said, as if I had simply forgotten to mention it. I almost made a Garpugh
"NO!" they all screamed.
------
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Chapter 142: Lunch
Chapter 142: Lunch
Chapter 140
It was morning when I got a message:
Scarlett: Hiii, I¡¯m in L.A., want to have lunch?
Me: Helloo. Sure thing. Where?
Scarlett: There¡¯s a restaurant I used to love when I lived here. We can go there. Nothing fancy though.
Me: I don¡¯t mind. Want me to pick you up?
Scarlett: No need. We can meet there.
Me: Okay.
We chatted a bit more, and Scarlett sent me the address.
When I went to get breakfast, four people were already in the kitchen¡ªSam, Carly, Paige, and Missy. I greeted them all with a kiss on the cheek.
"Missy, you¡¯re not grounded anymore?" I asked.
"Finally! It¡¯s over. So unfair. You two only got grounded for three days."
"I got three. Jake didn¡¯t even get a full day," Paige noted.
Missy scoffed. "Still, just three days, and you¡¯re living in a mansion. At least switch Sheldon for Jake with me."
"Eww, no way. If I lived with Sheldon, I¡¯d punch him in the face daily," Paige muttered.
"I couldn¡¯t. Mom would always side with him," Missy grumbled. "But when he¡¯s really annoying, I kick him in the nuts."
"How could you do that?" I blinked. "I know he won¡¯t be using them anytime soon, but still¡ªdon¡¯t mess with someone¡¯s family jewels."
We allughed.
Then Michelle, our chef, entered. "Morning."
"Morning," we echoed.
"Look what I¡¯ve got," she said, holding up a giant lobster.
"Lobster again?" Paige lit up.
"Mama likes it," Sam eximed.
"Wait, you eat lobster regrly?" Missy asked, surprised¡ªand slightly jealous.
"Once or twice a week. Only because Jake doesn¡¯t like it. Luckily, Aunt Judith has great taste and loves it," Paige exined.
Paige had gotten used to calling Judith "aunt." Even if her own mother wasn¡¯t great, calling Judith "mom" would feel off.
"Don¡¯t worry, Jake. I¡¯ve got your Kobe beef," Michelle assured.
"Thanks, but save it for dinner. I¡¯m not having lunch here today."
Michelle raised an eyebrow, then smiled. "Here," she said,ying out a spread of fresh pastries. "Straight from the bakery. I¡¯ll let you girls gossip about Jake¡¯s lunch ns." She winked and left.
The girls turned toward me.
"Are you going out with Milly again?" Carly asked.
"No. Uncle Charlie messed things up with her mom. She¡¯s forbidden to see me," I answered, not too bothered.
"Is it Pip?" Sam guessed.
"No! She¡¯s our friend, Sam."
"So? She looked really cute at Halloween. You wouldn¡¯t go out with her?"
"I... would. But it¡¯s not her. I didn¡¯t even flirt with her."
"Yet," Sam muttered with a smirk.
"Is it the Marshmello girl?" Paige jumped in.
"No! We¡¯re just friends. She doesn¡¯t like me that way. Plus, she¡¯s like you¡ªa needy girl."
"Am I needy?!" Paige looked offended.
"So who is she?" Missy leaned forward, clearly fishing for gossip.
"A girl who¡¯s friends with Jake. She was at the Halloween party," Paige said, trying to sound casual.
Missy nced at Carly and Sam. Carly looked away; Sam didn¡¯t react at all.
Those two... Carly can¡¯t lie, and Paige isn¡¯t much better.
"Fine, don¡¯t tell me. I¡¯m used to being left out."
"Low blow, Missy," I sighed. "Okay, I¡¯ll tell you¡ªbut you have to keep it secret."
"I will. Must be juicy if no one¡¯s talking."
"It¡¯s very juicy," Paige teased.
"Okay, spill it," Missy said, eyes locked on me.
I picked up an apple, took a bite, chewed, and then casually revealed, "Britney Spears."
Missy¡¯s eyes nearly popped out. "What??"
"Yes, Jake is friends with her," Paige confirmed with a smirk.
"The Britney Spears?"
"I don¡¯t know any other¡ªbesides the one who sings Toxic," I shrugged.
"How??"
I took another bite, swallowed, and said, "Because I¡¯m Marshmello."
"WHAT????"
I nced at Paige. "Worth it! You all have funny reactions."
Paige gave me a light headbutt.
"What are you doing? You little Pok¨¦mon."
She started pinching me. I hugged her until she stopped.
Missy was still frozen. Sam stepped beside her.
"Yep, you broke her," shemented dryly.
"How could you all be so chill about it?" Missy asked, still stunned.
"Heh," Sam grunted.
"We knew since the beginning. So..." Carly added with a shrug.
Paige rested her head on my chest. "You live with him, you end up finding out he¡¯s just a dork who sings really well."
I poked her cheek. She almost bit my finger. I flicked her forehead.
"Who are you dating today?" Paige asked.
"Her name is Scarlett Johansson. She¡¯s the one who made Lost in Trantion."
"Wow, she is so pretty. Now you¡¯re dating actresses?" Missy eximed, recovering a bit.
"I don¡¯t really care if she is an actress, I just don¡¯t want to be too famous now. Besides, Scarlett doesn¡¯t know I¡¯m Marshmello."
"Would it be weird if I asked you for an autograph?" Missy asked shyly.
"I¡¯ll do something better. I¡¯ll give you a kit," I said, heading to my room.
I returned with a package containing a Marshmello CD, some little souvenirs, and an iPod.
"Is this the new iPod?" she said, looking at the box.
"Yes. It¡¯s going to be officially released next week. Here, you need one of these to use it," I added, handing her a PowerBook G4, 667 MHz.
Jobs made the first generation of iPodspatible only with Macs. Even with the Marshmello special edition, the iPod will probably flop.
"I can¡¯t take it," Missy said hesitantly. "It¡¯s too expensive."
"Just take it," Paige cut in. "Jake¡¯s buying cars for his friends anyway. This is nothing."
"What??"
------
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Chapter 143: Lunch II
Chapter 143: Lunch II
Chapter 141
"What??" Missy eximed.
"Not for me," Sam cut in. "I got a year of all-you-can-eat... and something more."
"He didn¡¯t want to give one to me either," Paige huffed, crossing her arms.
"I give you house and food, you want more, Paige?" I raised a brow.
Paige rolled her eyes.
"And you are 13..." I continued, "What do you mean it¡¯s nothing? That¡¯s a three-grand notebook. Don¡¯t lose your sense of money."
She looked at me with puppy eyes. "I will not, daddy."
I lightly tapped her forehead. "Where the hell are you learning this kind of thing? I¡¯m grounding you, youngdy."
Paige just stuck out her tongue at me.
I turned to Missy and Paige. "If you two behave, I¡¯ll get you both a car too when you get older."
"Wow, now I¡¯m grateful that my brother is a genius, or I wouldn¡¯t have met Jake," Missy grinned.
"You¡¯re cute, so you might¡¯ve met him," Paige replied, tilting her head. "But then again, you¡¯re only 13... so it wouldn¡¯t have happened any time soon."
"Why are you ndering me, Paige? Your handsome older brother," I said with mock offense.
"You¡¯re always surrounded by pretty girls. And usually older ones," she teased. "Did you ever kiss a girl younger than you?"
"Okay, you are right, smartass," I said. "And no, never kissed a girl younger than me."
Missy leaned in with a smirk. "Wanna try it?"
Paige narrowed her eyes slightly. "I thought you had given up on Jake."
Missy shrugged. "Yeah, before I knew he¡¯s Marshmello. Hollywood vibes¡ªhe¡¯ll probably end up with more than one girl."
"Why is everyone ndering me?" I groaned, walking over to Carly and resting my chin on her head.
"You¡¯re reaping what you sow," Carly replied, amused.
Sam leaned back in her chair, biting into a piece of toast. "Honestly, I think Jake enjoys the attention. He pretends to suffer, but if no one teased him, he¡¯d feel unloved."
"That¡¯s not true," I said, chin still resting on Carly.
"It is," she replied. "You¡¯re basically a golden retriever with money and a recording album."
"Now you are being all young Megan, Carly," I said.
"What?" Carly looked at me weirdly, not understanding.
The five of us kept talking for a while longer
---
I arrived at the restaurant, a cozy spot with outdoor seating and tall ivy walls. Scarlett was already there, dressed casually in jeans and a blouse, waving when she saw me. As we sat down, I smiled.
"Hey."
"Hey," she returned with a smirk, settling into her seat.
But before we could even look at the menu, I heard a familiar voice behind me.
"He had to bring her here? It¡¯s my birthday," someone whispered sharply.
"ire, they¡¯re engaged," another voice replied.
"Mitch, since when are you the nice one?"
"Are you okay?" Scarlett asked, noticing my expression.
"Yeah, just... hearing something."
Then Jay, Gloria, and Manny walked up. Manny recognized me
"That¡¯s him! He¡¯s the one who kicked me out!" he blurted.
I turned around and spotted Haley behind them, trying to hide her face behind a menu.
"Wait... I know him," Phil said, looking to me. "He¡¯s Jake Harper. Evelyn Harper¡¯s grandson. I met him in a party for his grandmother"
"Evelyn Harper?" Jay blinked. "She¡¯s an old friend of mine. She¡¯s the one who sold me my house."
I facepalmed. You must be kidding me.
Now this mash up series is biting me in the ass.
Just then, a man nearby let out a high-pitched scream.
"Cam!" Mitch snapped.
"Mitchell! That¡¯s Scarlett Johansson¡ªfrom Lost in Trantion!"
Scarlett opened a smile, noticeably amused by the scene (And probably ttered to be recognized. Lost in Trantion is a breakout performance for her), while my eye twitched in disbelief.
Before I could even attempt to escape, Jay was already waving at us. "Jake! You shoulde sit with us. We have space."
Scarlett raised an eyebrow
I sighed.
A few minutester, we found ourselves at the long table with all of them¡ªire, Phil, Haley, Luke, Alex, Mitchell, Cam, Jay, Gloria, and Manny, who was still side-eyeing me like I stole his lunch money.
Jay extended a hand toward me, eyeing me with a mix of recognition and nostalgia. "Jake Harper... you¡¯ve really grown up; I met you when you were a small kid. I haven¡¯t seen your grandmother in years. How is Evelyn doing?"
"She is doing great," I muttered.
Scarlett was already scanning the menu
Cam leaned toward her. "I loved you in Lost in Tration. Truly devastating."
"Thanks," Scarlett smiled politely.
I leaned closer to her and whispered, "Why are we here with them?"
"Because it seems funny," she replied with a wide grin.
I stared at her. "I thought you liked me."
She justughed.
"So... you are the one that kicked Haley¡¯s ass," Alex said from across the table.
"Shut up, Alex," Haley hissed, then turned to me, her tone switchingpletely. "Please, don¡¯t ban me from your parties," she added with a pleading look.
"You will not go to any more, youngdy," ire jumped in sternly.
"Kiddo, stop staring," I said to Manny. "I know Scarlett has some incredible attributes, but you need to learn a little restraint."
Scarlett pinched me hard under the table, while Gloria turned to Manny with a sharp tone. "Manny!"
Manny straightened up immediately. "Sorry. Polite apologies, ma¡¯am."
And then, withplete innocence, Manny muttered, "You always take all the girls I liked... this is the third time," his tone slightly indignant.
Scarlett turned to me, smiling.
"I don¡¯t know what he¡¯s talking about¡ªyou¡¯re the only one for me." I put a hand over my heart, mock-affected.
She just rolled her eyes and bumped her shoulder into mine.
------
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Chapter 144: Lunch III
Chapter 144: Lunch III
Chapter 142
"So, Jake, are you and Scarlett secret lovers?" Cam asked, leaning forward with an eager smile.
I was mid-sip and nearly choked. Scarlett just gave a casual shrug.
I dabbed my mouth with a napkin.
Cam waved a hand. "I just want to break the ice."
"Pretty sure you shattered it," Mitchell muttered.
Jay chimed in, "You gotta admit, though, you always show up with someone stunning. You get this from your grandma."
I narrowed my eyes at Jay. Is this because I kicked Manny out?
Scarlett tilted her head. "Should I be ttered or concerned?"
Phil smiled awkwardly, trying to help. "You¡¯re definitely... stunning. But in a ssy way."
ire smacked his arm.
Seeing the situation only getting worse, I said, "Scarlett."
She turned her head to look at me.
I gently reached out, cupped her chin, and lifted it slightly. Then I leaned in and kissed her¡ªa deep one. A real one. And I didn¡¯t let her go for a while.
The table fell into stunned silence. No one spoke. Only the soft clinking of utensils on tes could be heard.
When we finally parted, Scarlett looked a little dazed, her cheeks flushed red.
I didn¡¯t say a word. Just sat back in my chair like nothing happened.
I turned to the waiter. "Yeah, can I get a Coke? And one of those premium ribeye steaks, medium-rare. Thanks."
He blinked, then nodded and walked off.
I took a sip of water and thought, Yeah... with this bunch of people who are champions at making things awkward, you need to be even more shameless and make it even more awkward.
I turned to Scarlett with a smile. "Now I get you. This is really funny," I said, seeing everyone¡¯s nk face.
She jabbed me.
Cam, finally finding his voice, whispered, "Can someone pass the salt? And maybe a fire extinguisher for the heating off that kiss?"
Mitchell buried his face in his hands.
Jayughed, shaking his head. "This one has balls."
"Jay!" Gloria said sharply, giving him a look.
Jay shrugged. "What? I¡¯m just saying."
"You might try ¡¯cojones¡¯!" I added, grinning.
That made Gloriaugh out loud¡ªuntil she turned and gave me a sharp look right after.
"So, why are we all gathered on this beautiful day?" I said without shame, casually looking around the table. I know it¡¯s ire¡¯s birthday¡ªI heard it before. But I also knew that would irk her.
Everyone instinctively turned their eyes to ire.
"So, you all remembered it¡¯s my birthday?" ire said, raising an eyebrow.
"Why do you look angry, ire? It¡¯s not like your whole family is giving more attention to a stranger than to you..." Imented, feigning innocence.
There was another awkward silence, until Haley couldn¡¯t hold back herughter.
"Haley!" ire said indignantly.
"Okay, I was mean. I¡¯ll give you a present to make up for it, ire," I said, trying to make peace.
"I don¡¯t need a kid¡¯s present," ire said, mocking.
"Come on, ire, you should be more mature. You are bing more mature," I replied.
Haley leaned toward me and whispered, "Why are you pressing all of my mom¡¯s buttons?"
"It¡¯s funny," I said.
The truth is, she reminds me of my ex from my past life¡ªjust older. They even have simr tastes, like a love for horror movies. That¡¯s why I remember all of them so well. She made me watch with her. Not that I didn¡¯t enjoy them...
Phil, always the helpful one, chimed in, "She loves wine, horror movies, Halloween..."
"Phil!" ire snapped.
"You like horror movies?" I asked, feigning surprise.
"Yes," she said, nonchntly.
"It is settled. I¡¯ll give you tickets to the premiere of Annabelle," I said.
"What??" ire eximed.
"He can do it. He¡¯s the writer," Scarlett added with a smile.
"What??" ire said again, with even more emphasis.
She stared at me for a second, then blinked. "So you¡¯re the Jake Harper?" she asked, finally connecting my name to the writer.
She hadn¡¯t realized it before likely because of my age.
"Yes," I replied with a smile.
ire suddenly changed her entire attitude, a wide smile spreading across her face. "I just love your movie The Conjuring. And obviously Paranormal Activity."
"You¡¯ll love Annabelle," I said. "And I¡¯ll tell you a secret¡ªI¡¯m writing one for next year called The Nun. And I can give you tickets to the premiere¡ªa handful of them."
Now ire had the face of someone truly celebrating her birthday. She turned to Phil with excitement. "Phil, we¡¯re going to the premiere!"
Phil gave a strained smile, already regretting bringing it up. "That¡¯s great, honey."
Haley leaned toward me again and whispered, "How do you even pull this off?"
"What?" I said, ying dumb.
"You make Mom all angry, and now all happy. That¡¯s like a miracle," she whispered.
"So you¡¯re doing another horror one?" Scarlett asked, a little disappointed.
"Don¡¯t worry, I might write other things besides horror for next year," I said.
There are some movies I didn¡¯t find listed in the Writers Guild (and they probably won¡¯t appear for a few more years). So I might write a draft for them¡ªeven if I don¡¯t feel like a real writer. Some of them bring in a lot of money.
Jay suddenly spoke up, looking thoughtful. "Oh, ire, did you remember Charlie Harper? He¡¯s Evelyn¡¯s son."
ire¡¯s eyes widened for a moment, as if something clicked in her memory, but then she quickly said, "I don¡¯t."
"Oh boy," I murmured.
Mitchell suddenly perked up. "Wait¡ªwasn¡¯t he one of your ex-boyfriends, ire? Oh! Now I remember, you two tried to set me up with his younger brother!"
"What?" Jay said, turning to ire.
I looked at Mitchell. "With my dad?"
ire groaned. "I thought your father was like Mitchell..."
"I don¡¯t fault you," I said with a shrug. "Ironically, he isn¡¯t. But my mother is."
------
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Chapter 145: Bad boy
Chapter 145: Bad boy
Chapter 143
Jay blinked, then turned to ire with a mix of disbelief and amusement. "You dated Charlie?"
ire winced. "It was one date! Maybe two. It didn¡¯t mean anything."
Lunch slowly wrapped up with the clinking of cutlery andst sips of drinks. tes were cleared, chairs pushed back, and casual hugs and handshakes made their way around the long table.
Scarlett and I left the restaurant, our fingers intertwined as we stepped into the warm afternoon sun.
"Beach?" I asked.
"Absolutely," she said.
We walked barefoot along the sand, the breeze light and salty, our conversation lighter now that the family circus was behind us. After a while, I gestured toward a small path tucked behind some rocks.
"Come with me. I want to show you something."
She followed me up a narrow trail, curiosity in her eyes. At the top was a secluded lookout point, quiet and shaded, with a panoramic view of the ocean crashing into the cliffs below.
Scarlett¡¯s breath caught. "Wow. This is... incredible."
"Yeah," I said, watching her instead of the view. "I thought it matched the moment."
And then we kissed. Slow at first, then deeper.
Obviously, the security detail was nearby, making sure no one interfered with the moment.
---
Later that afternoon, I returned home alone. The sun had already set, leaving a soft afterglow across the Santa Monica sky.
As I walked up to the deck, I paused for a moment.
The four of them were still at the house¡ªCarly, Sam, Paige, and Missy¡ªsprawled across the outdoor furniture. Freddie had just arrived too, holding a drink and looking amused by whatever they were discussing.
I stepped out onto the deck, offering a rxed smile.
"Hey, everyone," I said, waving casually as I approached them.
They all responded with a chorus of "Hi, Jake," and a fewzy waves.
Carly tilted her head, smirking. "So... how was the date?"
"A little messy," I said, dropping into one of the chairs. "At lunch, we ended up joining a family that knew mine. But all went well after."
I made exaggerated kissing noises, just to mess with them.
They booed loudly in unison, and a couple of throw pillows came flying in my direction.
I ducked,ughing. "Okay, okay! I¡¯m done!"
I stood up, stretching. "I¡¯m gonna take a shower and get ready. Scarlett¡¯sing over for dinner with us, andter we¡¯re hitting some party. Want toe?"
"I¡¯m in," replied Sam.
"Me too," Paige added, already grinning.
Mom trusts me to look after Paige, which is why she lets here to some parties (I hire someone to do it, as I¡¯m not a babysitter). She also knows the security team is always close by¡ªshe even calls one of them from time to time just to check.
"I wish," said Missy, frustrated. "I doubt my parents will let me go. And I don¡¯t want another month grounded..."
"I¡¯ll go too¡ªand I¡¯m calling Griffin," said Carly, casually grabbing her phone.
Freddie groaned.
"Freddie¡¯s not a big fan of Carly¡¯s boyfriend," Sam exined to Missy.
"I¡¯m not either," I added. "He stole Spencer¡¯s motorcycle."
"That was only for a joyride," Carly argued.
"Now you defend him, but I remember you said something very different back then."
"Why do all the girls like bad boys?" Freddie said louder than he probably meant to, drawing everyone¡¯s attention for a second.
Sam smirked. "Because bad boys are fun."
"I don¡¯t know either. Maybe girls mistake a guy¡¯s selfish attitude for attractive confidence," I replied, shrugging.
They all looked at me at once.
"You¡¯re a bad boy too, Jake," Carly pointed as a matter-of-factly, and several heads nodded in agreement.
"What??" I gasped. "I¡¯m not a bad boy! I¡¯m a nice boy, a funny boy!" I started counting on my fingers. "A rich boy, a smart boy, a handsome boy... an awesome boy!!"
Then I mimed an explosion at my temple with my fingers.
"Shameless boy!" said Carly, deadpan.
"Cocky boy," added Sam.
"Delusional boy!" Paige finished.
We all burst intoughter.
"But why are you against being a bad boy?" Missy asked, intrigued.
"They hide their insecurities behind fake confidence," I began. "They act like jerks for no reason. They¡¯re impulsive, get into fights over nothing, and think it¡¯s cool to treat people badly. Down the line, they usually end up stuck with someone just as chaotic¡ªand neither of them really wins in life." Most of them turn into losers
Paige leaned forward, grinning. "You are a smug bastard, you fool around with girls, you act mysterious from time to time, you don¡¯t care what others think, you do what you want, when you want¡ªand you¡¯re cocky!"
"I don¡¯t lie to girls nor manipte them," I retorted, ticking off on my fingers. "You all know why I¡¯m mysterious sometimes. I have self-awareness, so I know when to take others¡¯ opinions seriously. I do what I want, when I want, because I worked for it. And I¡¯m not cocky¡ªI¡¯m pretty humble."
A chorus of "Yeah, right, humble" echoed from around the deck.
A vein popped in my head. "Think about it, Paige," I said.
Paige paused for a moment, then started listing. "You¡¯re (very arguably) the famous artist in the world, a multimillionaire, you¡¯re friends with Britney Spears, wrote some multimillion-dor movies, and your ex is one of the most desired girls of our generation."
Yes, Laura and Kristin Kreuk are bing every boy¡¯s crush (though it¡¯s an exaggeration to call her one of the most desired girls of our generation... for now). Just like Tom Welling for the girls.
Her eyes widened as she continued, "And you¡¯re only 14... you¡¯re actually... humble?! Or at least you could be waay smugger"
She added with a smirk, "Oh, and you¡¯re intelligent¡ªjust not like me."
"Don¡¯t teach Paige your bad habits,"ined Carly.
"I don¡¯t," I protested. "She¡¯s a genius. She just learns like a sponge¡ªbut somehow only picks up the bad habits, not the good ones."
------
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