《About Your Pride and My Prejudice》 Chapter 1 - Mellisa Collins Chapter 1: Mellisa Collins The villa, reminiscent of a palace, was filled with mellow melodies. A grand charity ball hosted by Leopold was in full swing. The wealth and honour accumulated by Leopald, the kingdom¡¯s number one businessman, were truly remarkable. There was no one in the whole kingdom who did not look up to that name. Even the Royal Family paid their respect to them. ¡°Sir Allan is as dazzling as always¡± A voice of admiration was suddenly heard. As quietly drank the champagne in the corner, I slowly raised my head. Mr. Leopold was busy greeting, and a cold-looking young man stood next to him. It was Allan Leopold, the only son of the great Leopold. Perhaps because of his pitch-black hair, skin like white snow, and noticeably tall height, he stood out from a distance. (T/N: in the description it¡¯s said that Allan has blonde hair and here it¡¯s black hair, idk why the author said it like this but I crossed check with the raws and it showed the same) ¡°My goodness, he¡¯s like a black swan.¡± ¡°I know.¡± The women chatted with red faces as they headed towards me. I was forced to focus my gaze on their dresses. It was so colourful and sophisticated that it was incomparable to my worn-out dress. ¡°I can¡¯t believe there¡¯s such a beautiful man like him. He turned twenty this year, right?¡± I quietly stepped back a couple of steps with my shoulders curled up. Originally, I was not a sociable person, but today it was particularly difficult. T¨ªme passed slowly, and the empty seat of my one and only friend was too large, ¡°He isn¡¯t going to dance today?¡± ¡°Oh, I wish we could dance together, just once.¡± ¡°Me too, me too.¡± Women¡¯s fuss continued. My dazed gaze, counting the small bubbles in the glass, returned helplessly to the object of praise. Allan stood by his father in an upright position. Perhaps because of the unique cool atmosphere, only his surroundings looked cold like winter in the north. Like he is warning you not to come closer. Like everyone else, I thought even that aspect of him was cool. I seemed to know the mind of Pygmalion, who passionately worshipped the cold statue. (T/N- In Greek mythology Pygmalion is a legendary figure of Cyprus, who was a king and a sculptor. He was a sculptor who fell in love with a statue he had carved.) Somehow I was thirsty to see him. My hands crumpled helplessly at the hem of my old dress. ¡°Ha¡­¡± I have a crush on Allan Leopold. ¡°Melissa!¡± I heard my mother calling me from the first floor. Melissa Collins. It¡¯s my name here. I was possessed by , a liberal arts and romance novel. I was so surprised when I first opened my eyes in the body of a 10-year-old girl. The Collins couple approached me and told me that this was Florin, the capital of the Sourn Kingdom. It was the moment I learned that I was possessed by the world in With brown cilantro hair and brown eyes, I was the daughter of an ordinary family just like my appearance. Since I turned twenty this year, this life has already been for ten years. Having lived as Melissa for ten years, my memories and names in Korea now seem unfamiliar to me as if they belonged to someone else. I even have the illusion that I belong here from the beginning. In fact, I am an extra whose name does not even appear in the novel, and I have never met the main characters. Because they don¡¯t live in the capital city in the first place, Since it¡¯s a calm novel without a twist or a villain, I guess will live peacefully as it is in the original story. Even though the environment has changed, I was still an introvert and ordinary myself, which was frustrating at first. But over time I have come to truly love this life, so now I know. That I am the only protagonist in the novel called Life. Thinking this far, I heard my mother¡¯s cry once again. ¡°Mel!¡± ¡°I-I¡¯ll go down!¡± I sat in front of my mother with an awkward face. Because I already knew what I would hear. ¡°Did something happen at the Leopold charity ball?¡± ¡°¡­ There wasn¡¯t.¡± ¡°There must be something special!¡± My mother made a loud roar, causing microscopic ripples on the water surface in the teacup. I¡¯m just saying this just in case, but she is not a bad person. ¡°Viola hurt her leg so she couldn¡¯t come¡­. quietly listened, to music.¡± ¡°Viola, viola! How long are you going to talk about friends, Mel! Are you going to get married with friends? Yes? Phew, It¡¯s frustrating!¡± My mother pounded on her chest. Again I¡¯m repeating, she is not a bad person. She is a little hot-tempered and has a unique voice. If I hadn¡¯t possessed, Melissa would have grown up to be a brave woman who resembled Mrs. Collins. ¡°You¡¯re an adult now, too. You know what I¡¯m saying, right? By the way, women must¡­¡± Must have to get married well. ¡°Must have to get married well!¡± There¡¯s a reason why I still abide to my mother¡¯s words. This is because the society here is obsessed with marriage. My mother¡¯s hysteria, which had been getting worse year by year, peaked this year when I became an adult, Recently, people here have begun to open their eyes to women¡¯s rights, but it feels like it¡¯s still a hundred years early. Most people still think that ¡®women¡¯s life is only successful if they get married well¡¯. However, it is not an unfortunate world to live as a woman, but women here are too passive. I was timid and quiet in Korea, so I said everything if I felt that way. ¡°Women need to be able to captivate men sometimes, Mel. The older they get, the less likely they are to get married.¡± My mother gulped down her tea as of she was frustrated from her only daughter ¡°It¡¯s a small family, so you have to compete with others. You don¡¯t look so attractive.¡± ¡°When you were young you wanted to marry a prince. want to know what happened to you who was confident.¡± Melissa¡¯s childhood memories inside her mother seem to, have been left intact despite all these years. How old, would I be to think that the prince would be a handsome boy without ever seeing him? ¡°Are you listening? Property is basic, and you have to look carefully at whether or not he is a person who¡¯s going to screw up the house like your father.¡± ¡°Yes¡­¡± I answered right away. This is because it is obvious that the mother¡¯s complaint will continue for a long time when the story of her father¡¯s youth begins. They¡¯re two good people, but.. ¡°Your eyes can¡¯t be too high. If you waste time on a tree that you can¡¯t climb, you can¡¯t eat porridge and just get old. Do you get it?¡± But this time, I couldn¡¯t answer. My crush is Allan of the great Leopold. It would never be an illusion to think that it would be easier to marry a prince. ¡°I¡¯m asking if you got it, Mel! Please think about your mom¡¯s blood pressure.¡± Not answering is the only way to keep your blood pressure from rising, Mother. ¡°So, Mel? What¡¯s next?¡± The protagonist of this unique voice is my only best friend, Viola Graham. As the same age as me, we became friends while studying under the same tutor. It¡¯s out of the blue, but if it weren¡¯t for my mother, we wouldn¡¯t be friends. Because it was my mother who gave Graham a small amount of money and asked him to take classes together. She was the one who gave me courage to face my shame in a difficult situation. I deeply agree with the saying that every mother is great. can only thank my father for allowing me to accumulate knowledge comparable to other young children despite the difficult circumstances of getting fraud. That was about eight years ago, so my friendship with Viola has already entered the ninth year. I replied back to my old friend with a dead voice. ¡°What else can I say? It¡¯s all about looking at his face from afar.¡± ¡°But I¡¯m still jealous¡­.¡± Viola stretched her words with her unique voice. Her ankles, wrapped in bandages, floundered in the air. ¡°I wanted to see sir Allan¡¯s face, too!¡± ¡°I hope you get well soon, Viola. The social world without you is hell.¡± ¡°You always say that, whether I¡¯m there or not. There¡¯s not enough desperation.¡± ¡°That¡¯s true, but¡­¡­ Without you, it¡¯s not just hell, it¡¯s fire, hell.¡± Viola laughed at what I said. ¡°Then Sir Allan must be an angel, a snow angel.¡± ¡°¡­..what snow angel?¡± ¡°Because he will put off the hell fire with his cold beauty. It¡¯s perfect, right?¡± At the playful question, I nodded continuously. Viola admired Allan like me and other young nobles. When we started talking about Allan, our conversation would continue endlessly. ¡°Viola.¡± I momentarily hardened my expression. ¡°Come to think of it, you¡¯re dating someone. Missing Sir Allan¡­..¡± ¡°Hey, it¡¯s Sir Allan, not anyone else. Jacob will understand.¡± Viola recently started dating. Jacob, her significant other, is an aristocrat, a year older than her and it is said that he was handed down his great-grandfather¡¯s land which is quite large. He doesn¡¯t live in the capital, so I haven¡¯t met him yet. ¡°I don¡¯t think he¡¯ll get angry because there¡¯s nothing going on in the first place. Who would be jealous of flowers or dresses?¡± ¡°¡­¡­ That¡¯s true.¡± Viola¡¯s metaphor was so appropriate that I smiled. ¡°Mrs. Collins might have said something because of me, Mel.¡± ¡°Mom must be frustrated too¡­¡­. She¡¯d feel better if I were in a relationship like you.¡± ¡°What? You can¡¯t date.¡± The viola answered immediately. Do you think we don¡¯t know that you don¡¯t like to meet someone you don¡¯t like? ¡°¡­..It¡¯s disrespectful to the other person to meet them if you don¡¯t like it. I¡¯m also frustrated with myself because I¡¯m like this.¡± ¡°Oh! I don¡¯t think that¡¯s a bad thing about you. It¡¯s good to have convictions, well. You¡¯re smart, so you¡¯ll live well without relying on men.¡± Thanks for the words, but I was not confident in living as she said, so I quietly blinked my eyes. Viola spoke in a low voice. ¡°But you know, I want you to confess.¡± ¡°What are you talking about?¡± ¡°I mean your heart. To Sir Allan.¡± ¡°W, what am I doing to whom?¡± There is a loud noise coming out. That¡¯s a joke¡­. ¡°It¡¯s been years since you liked Sir Allan.¡± ¡°Even so¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Since Sir Allan is an adult, he will slowly find his significant other. There is no way that Leopold¡¯s only successor will not have a spouse.¡± ¡°Spouse?¡± I was full of energy. I could say more than ten reasons why I couldn¡¯t even reach his toes. ¡°Viola. I don¡¯t have a lot of family, I¡¯m not blonde like you, and I have such a normal appearance that people can forget when turned around¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know!¡± Viola cut me off bravely ¡°Do you think Allan of Leopold will ask about the family? And you¡¯re pretty, why?¡± ¡°Your brown hair and brown eyes are so cute. Like a puppy.¡± ¡°Is it a compliment?¡± ¡°Let¡¯s give it a try, Mel. It¡¯s a piece of cake! After being rejected, you may want to meet someone else.¡± I had no disagreement with what the viola said. Because it¡¯s true that I¡¯ve been obsessed with Allan for too long. ¡­..It is bittersweet that rejection is a premise, but there is no disagreement. ¡°What should I do?¡± I asked nervously during the day. Viola turned her head toward me, and her lips drew a cool arc. ¡°I¡¯ll teach you the method I used on Jacob.¡± Chapter 2 Chapter 2: Tobias Miller Viola smiled and said, ¡°I¡¯ll tell you about the method I used with Jacob.¡± ¡°¡­What is it?¡± ¡®I asked in a low voice. Viola¡¯s hazel eyes sparkled lively. ¡°First, go in front of him and drop things.¡± ¡°What? What kind of confession is that?¡±, ¡°Mel, everything has its own order.¡± Her voice was so confident that I made up my mind to listen quietly. It was not the most reliable, but she did bring Jacob over to her side. Besides, it was probably better advice than what my single past life could ever provide. ¡°Listen. If a lady drops something, he¡¯ll pick it up, right? Then, take it and tell him where you¡¯re going to be tomorrow. For example¡­.¡±, 11 ¡°I¡¯ll be at Antris Coffee Shop throughout the afternoon tomorrow¡± ¡°¡­ All of a sudden?¡± ¡°Yes, that¡¯s what I said and wink!¡± Theld my breath because Viola closed and opened one of her eyes. It was ridiculous to see her eyelashes fluttering with her eyebrows raised all the way up. ¡°You¡¯re really bad at winking. You didn¡¯t do this to Jacob, did you?¡± ¡°I did! I heard it¡¯s cute.¡± ¡°¡±¡­I¡¯m sure Jacob is a unique person.¡± Is this what love is? Shaking my head, I quickly continued to talk. ¡°Anyway, isn¡¯t that way too old fashioned? It¡¯s a method my mother might have used¡­¡± ¡°Why are classics loved, Mel?¡± I pictured it for a moment. What if I dropped something in front of Alan, who always had, this cold and indifferent face? The odds, if not certainty, that Alan would pass by without looking at it, would be close to ninety-five percent. There¡¯s no way that the ladies in the social circles haven¡¯t used such a common method yet. The other scenarios were equally hopeless. The remaining five percent would be the chance of him looking down at the object with contempt, then checking my face with that same look, and then walking past me. ¡­ I think the former would be better than the latter. I muttered with a gloomy face. ¡°I don¡¯t think that¡¯s going to work for sir Alan, Viola¡­¡± ¡°Melissa.¡± Viola¡¯s expression turned worried, perhaps because I looked pitiful. The way she pouted her lips as her forehead wrinkled made her look like a chubby duckling. ¡°Yes?¡± ¡°What do you think, is it a good idea? Have you thought about it?¡± ¡°Hmm¡­ I think it might be better to write a letter¡­¡± ¡°What?!¡± Viola jumped up as if it was absurd. ¡°A letter? Isn¡¯t that even more boring and old-fashioned? What kind of man would like something like that nowadays?¡±, ¡°Why don¡¯t you just throw a handkerchief and wink?¡± ¡°But if it¡¯s sir Alan¡­¡± I went on, slowly meeting Viola¡¯s gaze. ¡°Think about it, Viola. Where is he from?¡± ¡°Hmm.¡± Alan Leopold did not appear in a single line of the original story, set in a quiet rural village. Nevertheless, he was more special than a ¡®male protagonist to me. Even the original male lead didn¡¯t cause this emotional whirlwind. It¡¯s true that Alan had a beautiful appearance, enough to make someone fall in love at first sight, but if it were only that, I wouldn¡¯t have had a crush on him for that long. If it weren¡¯t for his cold and lonely atmosphere, she wouldn¡¯t have felt this sorrowful feeling. It¡¯s ironic that Alan, who shouldn¡¯t ever have lacked something, looked empty as if he was lacking something. Perhaps that¡¯s what stimulated women¡¯s psychology. Always suppressing his presence. He would only appear in necessary instances and blend in with others seamlessly. His reticent personality might be the cause as to why he rarely shows emotion in his expression, but regardless he always shines. Helplessly and beautifully. Who wouldn¡¯t love a man resembling a brilliant winter? As if she was thinking the same as me, Viola muttered in a low voice. ¡°That¡¯s true. Sir Alan might be the only man in the capital who seems to prefer letters to winks.¡± ¡°Right¡­?¡± ¡°First of all, I don¡¯t think winking is right but there¡¯s also no guarantee that the letter will work.¡± When I smiled without realising it, Viola pinched my cheek without hurting and added, ¡°But you¡¯re a good writer, Mel. You might be able to write a letter that¡¯ll melt sir Alan¡¯s cold heart.¡± ¡°¡°¡­such optimistic words.¡± In my previous life, I liked reading books alone more than hanging out with people. Naturally, my hobby here is reading, too. As a result, was told by a tutor that I was talented in literature, and from some point on, I secretly developed my dream of becoming a writer. ¡°Even if you¡¯re really talented?¡± ¡°It¡¯s impossible for a woman to become a writer in Sourne. What¡¯s the point of being talented?¡± Viola was the only person who knew about my dream. My only supporter¡¯s hazel eyes gleamed with passion today. ¡°Oh! Impossible? The famous was also written by a female author. It¡¯s a masterpiece.¡± ¡°That¡¯s an exception¡­ ¡® ¡°¡±Also, do you have something else you¡¯re good at? You¡¯re going to write a wonderful love letter.¡± Seriously, she won¡¯t give me a moment to say anything negative. One of the few things that make my life special is that I, who¡¯s quiet and cautious, have been lucky enough to have the lively and cheerful Viola as my best friend. Viola, who stretched out slowly, tapped my shoulder. ¡°First, why don¡¯t you write down your favourite aspects of Sir Alan and write them in a poem? With your pretty handwriting.¡± * * * Hair that resembles the distant universe and eyes as clear as an early dawn sky. Leopold¡¯s only successor, elegant speech, deep voice as if half submerged in water. ¡®With a remarkably tall stature, always standing in an upright posture, and a beautiful figure as if drawn. A person who seems to smell like a cool ¡®winter night when approaching. A person, who is like a flower that blooms in the shade. Thad scolded Viola asking if she wasn¡¯t being too idealistic, but as soon as I returned home, I grabbed a pen. Then, as if possessed, I began writing about him. After rolling the tip of the pen on the paper for a while, I was startled and lost the pen as if waking up from a dream. ¡°¡­Oh my god.¡± The smell of rusted ink made me confused. With a look of disbelief, I looked at the myriad of handwritten letters. The paper, which had ¡®been white as snow, was full of my appreciation for Alan. ¡­I couldn¡¯t believe I had been looking at him so attentively. ¡°Melissa.¡± ¡°Argh!¡± Then, suddenly, the door opened revealing, Mrs. Kerney-the one who helps with the house chores-and I nearly fell off my chair. Thurriedly hid the paper that was plastered, with praise for Alan between the pages of a book. ¡°Sorry, did I scare you? I¡¯m here to change the bed sheets.¡± Mrs. Kerney, holding a thick duvet in her arms, smiled innocently. The air was definitely getting colder these days¡­ No, but I¡¯ve told you to knock! But even before I said something, she quickly added, ¡°Are you writing a letter?¡± ¡°Yes, No¡­?¡± Seeing me with her eyes wide open, Mrs Kerney smiled as she showed her protruding front teeth. ¡°¡­..I was writing a diary.¡± ¡°Who writes a diary with that face?¡± My heart pounded. Could she see what I was thinking deep down? ¡°What do you mean by that kind of face?¡± ¡°Isn¡¯t your face looking as if you were writing a very heartfelt letter?¡± ¡°I¡¯m just saying.¡± When I didn¡¯t answer, she rambled and peeled, off the thin bed sheet. I had no idea why I was acting like a criminal. ¡°Excuse me, ma¡¯am. You said you were just saying it, so please don¡¯t tell my mother. Mrs. Kearney looked puzzled when I made a crawling voice. ¡°Oh, I guess it¡¯s not just a diary.¡± ¡°No, that kind of¡­¡­¡± ¡°Melissa, I just said that because you got a letter.¡± ¡­To sum up, it meant Mrs. Kearney had been teasing me. Such an exquisite timing. Tanswered calmly, ¡°What letter is it? Did you bring it?¡± ¡°No, Mrs. Collins is already opening it and reading it.¡± ¡°What¡­¡± But what does this mean? This time it would, be good if she was fishing with me. ¡°Why would my mom rip off the letter that came for me?¡± ¡°The sender must have a man¡¯s name. I thought spring had finally come for you, Melissa, because she was making such a fuss. ¡®Is it not? The person you are writing to right now¡­¡± ¡°¡­ A man¡¯s name?¡± Those strange words made my eyes open wide. No wonder she¡¯s opening the letter, it¡¯s because Melissa Collins has no male acquaintances. Of course, there couldn¡¯t have been a man who would send me a letter. Mrs. Kerney shrugged while putting on a new bed cloth. ¡°Go down there.¡± ¡± Her words lifted my body up like a magic spell. I just ran down the stairs. In fact, when Mrs. Kearney brought up the topic of the letter, I was embarrassed to think of Alan. What I wrote about him without thinking, Mrs. Kearney, who came in at that moment, the sender of the letter being a man¡­ All of this felt like fate. There are moments in life when you become obsessed with strange convictions. It may be a ridiculous delusion, but at least the feeling received was intense. Intuition that the letter might have come from Alan Leopold. ¡°Mom, the letter for me¡­..¡± ¡°Oh, Melissa!¡± My mother ran to me with a delighted look. As Mrs. Kearney had said, there was a torn, envelope and a piece of paper in her hand. I tried to see the name written on the envelope, but it was obstructed by my mother¡¯s hand and thus invisible. ¡°You said nothing happened at the charity ball!¡± My mother suddenly hugged me, so I blinked blankly. ¡°You don¡¯t know how worried I was about whether you were afraid of men and wouldn¡¯t be able to marry.¡± ¡°What¡­.?¡± Apparently, someone who came to the ball sent me a letter. That alone was amazing enough, but if my mother was this happy then¡­ While hugging me, I felt my heart pounding louder and louder. My intuition was right. The author definitely was Leopold¡¯s only successor, Al¡­ ¡°But it¡¯s a name I¡¯ve never heard of before.¡± ¡­an I don¡¯t think she¡¯s hearing his name for the first time though, it¡¯s strange. ¡°How can you not know the name¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Tobias Miller? Do you know him?¡± T/N: Mrs. Kerney is a house worker not a maid, who lives with them, so she addresses Melissa in a more friendly way, it¡¯s like they have lived together for a very long time, so workers often become a part of the family, I won¡¯t use the word ¡°maid¡± but use ¡°madam¡±. Comments from korean readers: No matter how much you¡¯re a family member, opening the letter without permission is a bit¡­sigh¡­. I don¡¯t want my mom to open the letter first TT TT The lady is pretty shameless?? 77 Chapter 3 Chapter 3: Out of Control I looked devastated. ¡°Tobias Mill¡­er?¡± No matter how much I think of it, how could I think Alan had sent a letter to me? He didn¡¯t even know I existed¡­ Even though it was simply a delusion, my face heated up. A situation like receiving a letter from the top idol in the social world is not something that can happen easily. ¡°Melissa, you don¡¯t know him?¡± ¡°Huh, I¡¯ve never heard of that name before¡­¡± ¡®I can¡¯t stand my mother¡¯s nagging, so I diligently attend social events. Therefore, knew almost all the names of the attendees. People are surprisingly talkative, and I tend to be a good listener. That was the first time I¡¯ve ever heard about such a name. It means that the other person is the type that doesn¡¯t have as much presence as me. Not to mention that probability is one hundred percent. ¡°Mom, I¡¯ll take a look at the letter.¡± ¡°¡­Yes.¡± My mother handed me the letter with a quivering face. Of course, my mother didn¡¯t care if the letter came from a man of a great family. Instead, she was more happy because a man showed interest in me. However, she seemed disappointed that I had never even heard of him. At times like this, is it called ¡°a real bargain¡± in Korea? (T/N: CEto is a korean idiom. The whole form is ?? ??? ???? which literallyy means ¡°Better than a castle of bones than of stones¡± to understand better: let¡¯s say you¡¯ll buy a skirt. One skirt is just plain while the other one is colorful and trendy. With both skirts having the same price you¡¯ll choose the trendy one right? If you want a literal translation: ¡°OF02 C o ¡± = ¡°picking the crimson skirt if it¡¯s the same price¡±), Upon receiving the letter, I read it down at once. The content was concise and not long. The handwriting was not very beautiful, but it was enough to be labelled as neat. Dear Ms. Melissa Collins, The way you looked at the ball last weekend still lingers in my mind. I wander around searching for this quiet form and calm brown eyes which are similar to a lake even in my dreams. I¡¯m consumed by a burning fever. It may be sudden, but can the young lady grant me the chance to meet again?|| sincerely look forward to hearing your answer. Yours truly, Tobias Miller After reading the letter, I trembled at the unfamiliar ticklish feeling. But that feeling wasn¡¯t good at all. The next day, I showed the letter to Viola, and she responded in the same way. Guess who didn¡¯t become my best friend for nothing. ¡°¡­¡­Is there even a brown lake?¡± Viola, who fixed her eyes on the letter, mumbled with a strange face. I paused, then bursted into laughter. ¡°He might be talking about mud.¡± ¡°Ah! So funny!¡± Viola laughed and slapped my forearm. When I stared at the stinging area with my eyes, Viola stopped smiling. She looked quite serious. ¡°By the way, I¡¯ve never heard of this name before. Miller¡­¡± ¡°¡­¡­..¡± Naturally, I was lost in thoughts. The letter wasn¡¯t long, but it was enthusiastic enough. Even if I had no dating experience, was not blunt enough to not know that this was a love letter. However, I felt very uncomfortable. It was because I couldn¡¯t shake the thought that this man named Tobias had misunderstood the person whom he was sending the love letter to. ¡°Viola. No matter how I look at it, I think this person has mistaken my name for someone else.¡± ¡°No way.¡± Viola shook her head. ¡°Do you think this man pointed at some woman and said ¡®Hmm, what is that young lady¡¯s name?¡¯ And someone who was beside him told him your name?¡±. Tanswered concisely to Viola, who performed a skillful performance as if it was a play. ¡°Yes.¡± ¡°No way! I can¡¯t believe it! How can he misunderstand?¡± ¡°There were so many people at Leopold¡¯s charity ball last weekend. I think you were the only one who didn¡¯t come, weren¡¯t you?¡± Of course, it¡¯s an exaggeration. In other words, my mother, my father, who is currently stationed in the northern part, were absent. But it goes without saying how crowded Leopold¡¯s villa was. Even Viola, who couldn¡¯t attend, knew about it. ¡°But of course, I don¡¯t like your attitude of thinking it¡¯s not intended for you, Mel.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know the definition of lake for this person, but the quiet attitude part. This is about you.¡± ¡°¡­¡­I¡¯m not quiet, I¡¯m introverted, Viola.¡± She pretended not to hear my murmur naturally, and Viola continued in a playful way. ¡°I don¡¯t think our Mr. Tobi is such a sloppy person. The letter is a bit cheesy.¡± ¡°T, That¡¯s true¡­¡­.I hope he isn¡¯t like my father,or is he?¡± ¡°Hmm, I don¡¯t know . His handwriting doesn¡¯t show anything.¡± ¡­¡­If it turned out to be the case, I¡¯d really like to refuse this love letter. Then Viola jerked up her head. ¡°Mel, are you going to reply?¡± ¡°No.¡± ¡°Why?¡± ¡°What do you mean why?¡± Perhaps she didn¡¯t like my immediate answer, Viola opened her mouth with a wrinkled eyebrow. ¡°Think about it, Mel. This is an opportunity. It¡¯s an opportunity to completely rid sir Alan off your mind, with whom there¡¯s no hope anyway.¡± ¡°But I¡¯m sure you wanted me to write him a love letter¡­¡± ¡°Oh, did you really write it?¡± 11 ¡°You wrote it, Mel. Oh my god.¡± ¡­Oh my god, I know. ¡®I don¡¯t know myself either, Viola, * * * The paper, which had been written down to praise him, was still stuck inside a thick novel. I didn¡¯t really want to throw it away, but somehow I didn¡¯t even think about touching it either. In the letter that was going to be delivered to him-I didn¡¯t know if I could deliver it-1 wrote my own poem. After all, confessing my love was unreasonable for me. Maybe it was because I had never done it before, so just imagining it made me feel like I was suffocating and my face heated up. Anyway, I was glad that poetry was so convenient. Even meaningless words and writings could look cool if they were labeled as poems. So, what I wrote wasn¡¯t a confession, only a poem. It¡¯s a shame to say it all, but here¡¯s the start. ¡®If only one season is allowed in my life, I will live a winter that resembles you. But no matter how much I stressed on it being poetry, it felt like Alan would notice it for some reason. The fact this was a love confession to him. So it could never be conveyed. We would not encounter each other in the first place. ¡­.. It was only a few days ago that I thought so. Tunintentionally encountered him. Very accidentally. * * * This is how the story went. On a leisurely weekend afternoon, I went out to town on my own. My mother didn¡¯t like the idea of going out, and Viola had gone to Pickham to meet Jacob, so I couldn¡¯t help feeling lonely. In my hand was the reward I had received from my mother. The purpose of my outing was to buy an autumn hat. However, all i bought was a white ribbon as a decoration to put on my hat. The reason for this was that I had gotten this hat from my aunt and grandmother several years ago and it had been sleeping in my closet since then. Since it was a basic item, it would look stylish enough if I attached a velvet ribbon which had become a trend these days. And Mrs. Kerney was the best sewing artist I¡¯ve ever seen, so what more could I say? So after solving the hat issue, I still had some money left, and with that remaining money, bought a poetry book. It was written by one of my favourite female poets. In fact, I have never bought a single book other than novels in the past few years. However, today, I was overwhelmed with an unknown impulse that propelled me to buy a poetry book. I couldn¡¯t deny that the untimely love letter commotion had contributed greatly to this impulse¡­.. To be honest, I wanted to buy her new poetry book that came out earlier this year, but unfortunately, I was a little short on money. It would have been nice if I had bought a satin ribbon instead of velvet. So instead of her latest book, I bought one of her masterpieces. ¡°Do you want me to put it in a bag? Miss?¡± ¡°¡­ It¡¯s alright. I¡¯ll just carry it around. When I handed over the money, a small book was passed to me. I turned around with it in my arms. As soon as I pushed back the rusty door of the old bookstore, I could smell the fresh smell of the street in the early evening. I was very happy because I liked the unique atmosphere at this time of the day. I closed my eyes and took a full breath through my lungs. The leaves were about to fall soon. It was the moment when I just started thinking about it. ¡°Ah¡­¡± ¡®I dropped the poetry collection as I bumped into someone. The poetry book fell down onto the cold stone floor with a thumping sound. The book opened with the impact and its white pages fluttered in the wind. The golden title glistened in the sunset. It was then that I raised my head as if waking up from a daze. ¡°Sor¡­.!¡± But I couldn¡¯t manage to express my full, apology to the person who bumped into me and covered my mouth with both hands. His black hair, as black as ebony, fluttered in the wind. As far as I know, there was only one person who had such perfect black hair that did not mix with even a single glimmer of light colour. The icy blue-grey gaze fell on the book of poetry. I was holding my breath, counting his delicate eyelashes that were casted downward. Alan Leopold did not bend over to pick up my poetry book. It wasn¡¯t that surprising. Because I couldn¡¯t imagine a picture of him picking up things that fell on the ground. The only important thing at the time was that the distance between us was far too small as ¡®we could smell each other¡¯s scent. ¡®If I extended my arms right away, I could reach Alan. I could even touch him. Recalling these thoughts without hesitation, I felt a sense of secret sin rising 11 . The time when Alan¡¯s gaze slowly lifted up seemed like eternity. And finally, when those cool, classical eyes pierced my pupils. ¡°P¡­.¡± Unknowingly, unexpected words popped out. ¡°Please can you pick it up for me?¡± Alan didn¡¯t make any expression. No, this was an expression, or was it? His features, filled with boredom, were as cool as a steel blade. His face was so beautiful that he might not be considered human. It felt like I was looking at a masterpiece its sculptor had crafted with his heart and soul. At that moment,I was under the illusion that time had stopped. Alan¡¯s sharp chin bent down and his shoulders fell neatly below my eye level. ¡°Huh¡­?¡± I just looked down with a surprised face as his elegant fingers picked up my poetry book. The poetry book was returned very swiftly. Straightly, just like at the bookstore. However, the difference between the two situations was bigger than the one between earth and sky. He still didn¡¯t say a word, and his eyes were cold and dry. Nevertheless, he did me a favour by picking up my poetry book, and I should have taken it from him without blushing even more. Because the evening wind was blowing while waiting for him. As if telling me to let him go¡­ ¡°¡­¡­.¡± But my lips and tongue were already out of control. ¡°I¡¯ll be at the Antris coffee shop throughout the afternoon tomorrow.¡± What the hell happened to me? *** Comments from Korean readers: She¡¯s good at the real game. Oh, my. It¡¯s so cute. A baby puppy who tries hard. Oh, I¡¯m trembling The female character is so lovely. It¡¯s so, so, so nice. The writing is so nice. I¡¯m watching in awe! Your thoughts control your actions~~~ You¡¯re going to kick the blankets today! ?? Chapter 4 Chapter 4: Reason For Falling in Love Alan laughed. It was a clear laugh. ¡°Let¡¯s pretend we didn¡¯t hear that.¡± With those cold words, the collection of poems came closer to me. When he reached out his hand towards my face, the book was placed on my trembling palm with a tap sound. Alan turned around, slightly loosening the dark red, cravat around his neck. I couldn¡¯t do anything but look up at his black back. Hoping that it wasn¡¯t me who made him feel frustrated. At that very moment, Alan glanced back at me. When our eyes met, I thought it wouldn¡¯t be strange if my heart stopped like this. It may be my illusion, but his eyes looked as if he had something to say¡­.. But it was also my wish, and his gaze stayed on my face for just about three seconds. At the same time, the tip of his sleek chin headed straight back, Alan strode away from me. His back slowly blended into the street that was dyed in scarlet. It was such a familiar scene to me. Enough to make me believe that everything that just happened was an illusion, and the sight I¡¯m seeing right now was real. On the way back home, it seemed that I was in a daze the whole time. As scrambled down the street, less than an hour from the city centre, I was preoccupied with the thought of Alan¡¯s flawless and beautiful skin, Even his cold transparent blueish-gray eyes did not leave my mind. As if the after-image was engraved in my mind. I got goosebumps all over my body when I remembered the feeling when his cold gaze slowly swept across my face. ¡°Hey, Melissa!¡± ¡°¡­¡­I¡¯m back, mom.¡± ¡°What about your hat!¡± When I returned home, my mother immediately tracked down the whereabouts of my hat. My mother, whose only hobby is to look out the window with a lethargic face, ran out when she saw that my hat wasn¡¯t in my hand. ¡°That¡¯s something I got from my aunt and grandmother a few years ago.¡± ¡°What? How can you go out in the social world wearing that old-fashioned thing? You think you would stand out with that? I gave you enough money to buy something good!¡± ¡°¡­ It¡¯s clean. It¡¯s just that it¡¯s a little modest.¡± ¡°So, you came back empty-handed? You didn¡¯t buy Sarah¡¯s hat, but you bought useless books? Ugh!¡±, ¡°Oh, I bought a moon ribbon for my hat. I¡¯m going to ask Mrs. Kerney for a favor. This is a poetry book bought because I had some money left.¡± At my words, my mother was furious and pounded her chest. ¡°Melissa! Are you still thinking about becoming an author?¡± When I was still a teenager, I told my mother that! wanted to be an author, but her response was very bad. I haven¡¯t said anything like that ever since then, but¡­.. As expected, she must¡¯ve remembered. ¡°¡­ This is just a collection of poems, mom. I wanted to read poems in autumn¡­.. ¡°It¡¯s fine to write and dream of becoming an author.¡± My mother snorted like an angry bull and cut off my words. ¡°But, shouldn¡¯t it be your priority to find a good husband? You don¡¯t seem to not understand what I¡¯m talking about.¡± ¡°You can live leisurely with your husband¡¯s wealth and use it to do your hobby. Yes?¡± A dream that couldn¡¯t come true anyway. My mother¡¯s small words stung me. Worrying about marriage continued quite long as always. Having managed to endure it, I went straight to Mrs. Kerney and handed her the hat and ribbon. I also said to not forget to put it up beautifully Then, I sat alone in front of my desk inside my room. I wanted to think about something else because my heart was feeling stuffy. It was a natural step for me to start reading poetry. To be honest, the poems in the book didn¡¯t really impress me. Since it was an impulsive purchase, I skimmed through the poems with dry eyes, turning the pages halfheartedly, with an attitude that seemed as if it was an obligation. It was when a poem titled made my gaze stop. There¡¯s a shadow you left on the street When I read the first line, of course, I thought of Alan I was the one being swallowed alive in the coral sky that I looked up over your shoulder on that summer day I was out of breath because it was filled by you I lie on the wall where your soul was resting, and I felt in ease You were my mistake I missed him. I¡¯ve always been curious about the reason for love. think I¡¯ve always been curious ever since the moment I existed. Of course, I wasn¡¯t trying to talk about a crush. This curiosity was about the beginning of lovers who swore love to each other. One day, I asked my mother about how she decided to be Mrs. Collins. The answer, that my mother gave without hesitating, who was sewing a button on an old coat, was, ¡®Livelihood. Her voice was dry and said so without even looking away from the thread and needle. Perhaps, because it was an answer that could be expected or convinced, I wasn¡¯t disappointed. Anyway, the Collins couple now have a similar relationship to love, so it¡¯s fine. I thought so. This was because I didn¡¯t think love had to be hot and intense. I have nothing to say if someone laughed at me for the way I knew about it while not having anyone to love. I asked right away when I heard the news that Viola had just started dating. ¡®Why did you choose that person?¡¯ I didn¡¯t expect a great answer, but I still asked her. I was just curious. As to what sense and conviction everyone started to love. That has been my longstanding concern. ¡®Because I¡¯m lonely.¡¯ When Viola answered, her face was calm. ¡®The world is so big and we¡¯re all weak youths, Mel./ thought it would be nice to have someone to lean on. Completely on my side. Wouldn¡¯t that be the same for everyone?¡¯ I didn¡¯t know what Viola meant. So I just nodded my head moderately. But, I totally stood on my own side. That was such a childish story. This was my real intention; There couldn¡¯t be anyone else on my side other than myself in this world. It was just a question. Do people really expect such nonsense and start dating? It¡¯s not like they don¡¯t know that they will eventually end up being disappointed and hurt. I was just wondering endlessly Of course, I have feelings for Alan, but this was just a simple crush. ¡­.So, it meant that I didn¡¯t have any expectations, that I might develop feelings for him. I was also keenly aware of how poor Melissa Collins was for Alan Leopold. The reason why I couldn¡¯t become a lover with anyone in my past life or present life. I was afraid to admit it, but I already knew. The essence is a feeling of inferiority. When I fell in love, I couldn¡¯t experience it with a calm mind. I didn¡¯t think I would have been the only one who felt this way, but I didn¡¯t even know how I fell into it calculatively. It was just irresistible and I got caught up in it. There¡¯s a brilliant type of person in this world. The people, who could easily steal someone¡¯s heart and soul, they couldn¡¯t help but to look dazzling in any way. I¡¯m obviously not of that sort. So, it¡¯s unimaginable for me to confess my love to him, who took my heart without any explanation or understanding. I just have to wait helplessly for this love to fade away. If I had been as calculating as my mother, I would have tried. If I had the courage to start a love for a simple reason like ¡®Because I was lonely like Viola, a lot of things would¡¯ve changed. However, these thoughts also meant nothing. Alan Leopold is too far and overwhelming for me. We were close to each other when I encountered him I might have breathed the same air as him. If not, at least maybe just a little bit. In that sense, was it natural to think of him while reading this poem? When I thought about his breath, my heart somehow became heavy. Then, suddenly I heard a knock. I raised my head, which had been down looking at the poem. The small flame that sat on the tip of the candle trembled dangerously. ¡°Melissa.¡± It was Mrs. Kerney¡¯s voice. When I hurriedly opened the door, her innocent face was filled with a smile, showing her protruding front teeth. Madame had a hat in her small hand. A forked bonnet surrounded by a sky blue velvet ribbon. ¡°Are you done, ma¡¯am?¡± ¡°Yes, take a look.¡± In order to chase the thoughtfulness, I shook my head a couple of times and picked up the hat. ¡°What do you think?¡± I turned around the hat that was beautifully wrapped with a bright ribbon. As expected, Mrs. Kerney¡¯s skills were no doubt. It didn¡¯t look new, but it was stylish enough that I could wear it right away. ¡°It¡¯s pretty. Thank you.¡± ¡°That¡¯s a relief.¡± Madame smiled with her good-looking face. At that moment, I suddenly realized that I had never heard about Mrs. Kearney¡¯s love story. If I didn¡¯t know she was separated from her husband, I would¡¯ve asked her earlier¡­.. As for how Mrs. Kearney came to my house, it was from the beginning that she had a connection with my father when her husband joined the military. He suddenly passed away during the training. My father, who felt sorry for Mrs. Kearney, who had nowhere to go, recommended her to come into our house as an employee. ¡°Do you have anything to say about the hat?¡± ¡°Oh¡­¡± I suddenly thought. If it¡¯s now, wouldn¡¯t it be okay to ask? I heard that the time when madame came overlapped with my birthday, so it has been twenty years. I stopped talking and started with the intention of apologizing if Mrs. Kearney showed any signs of discomfort. ¡°Madam, I¡¯m in love these days, so I¡¯m a little curious about¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Love.¡± Madame smiled when she looked at my fingertips nervously fiddling with my hat, and my eyes wandered around, not knowing where to look. It was sunset time, and the corridor without windows was dark. The only thing that was casting light was the madame¡¯s greenish-brown eyes. ¡°So, you mean you¡¯re in love?¡± ¡°What? For me, such a thing is¡­¡­¡± was embarrassed at that moment and blurred the end of my words. I just wanted madame not to say anything to my mother. ¡°¡­¡­Be, because I cut the price for the hat, I bought a collection of poems, and it turned out to be a collection of love poems.¡± ¡°That¡¯s possible. When I was as young as you, I loved, poetry.¡± ¡°This actually wasn¡¯t the poetry book I wanted to buy Of all things, I¡¯m a little short of money¡­.!¡± I don¡¯t know why I was explaining about this¡­.. ¡°So, how did madame fall in love? What kind of confidence did your husband give you to decide that you were ready for marriage? I heard that he was a noble¡­..¡± ¡°Well¡­ If you feel uncomfortable, you don¡¯t have to answer me.¡± ¡°It¡¯s not a pleasant thing.¡± Mrs. Kearney¡¯s smile faded and she shifted her gaze to the sky as if she were lost in thought. Her answer was a little out of my expectations, ¡°¡­I was at stake.¡± * * * Comments from Korean readers: This is a novel that shows what a carefully crafted sentence is. This is a novel that keeps me looking for more works done by this author. I love the atmosphere of the novel and the lines used. Life?!?!?!?!?!?!? Wow, the sentences are really nice. Chapter 5 Chapter 5: Love Makes People Live in Someway ¡°Li¡­.fe?¡± My eyes opened wide. Did this mean that she was threatened with the premise of marriage? Maybe it¡¯s a story about livelihood. Because Mrs. Kerney must have been married around the same time as my mother. ¡°Yes, exactly.¡± Madame added with a smile. ¡°Can I come in?¡± ¡°Oh! Of course, ma¡¯am.¡± I hurriedly opened the door. Mrs. Kearney, wearing an old apron over the faded poplin dress, gently entered the room. She sat straight on an armchair, and I sat on the bed facing her. ¡°Then should I tell you? Because I think I know why my lady asked about this.¡± ¡°¡­..Yes, please.¡± I decided to listen to her talk without saying anything, ¡°Where should I start? That I was the youngest daughter of a poor and low-ranking landlord and had no property to inherit? Oh, by the way, there was no dowry.¡± ¡°He was a man of both dignity and culture. I fell in love at first sight, and I followed him out of the house.¡± ¡°Left the house¡­..?¡± ¡°There was a time when I was rebellious too.¡± As I was startled by that, Mrs. Kearney covered her mouth and laughed. ¡°I have to say, but he couldn¡¯t afford it either. He¡¯s not the eldest son, so he didn¡¯t inherit the title. We live in a shabby cottage in a rural Village in the north, He immediately enlisted in the military to earn a living, and then¡­¡­¡± ¡°You know it.¡± Of course I knew. Shortly thereafter, she became a widow. Mrs. Kearney had a calm face, but somehow I felt awkward and didn¡¯t know what to do. It was not an emotion that I could relate or sympathize with ¡°There were just a few celebrators for us and I was barely holding a bouquet made of wild flowers, but I wasn¡¯t ashamed. Everything was beautiful.¡± ¡°There was a time when I thought I would die if I didn¡¯t marry him. Is it because I love him so passionately? After he left, the only thing that keeps me alive is the memory of that time.¡± I was worried that Mrs. Kerney¡¯s eyes might tear up, but fortunately, she only had a gentle and young smile on her face. I didn¡¯t know Madam had this story. It struck me in a strange way that madam, who always wore an old bonnet and worked tirelessly around the house with her rough hands, also had her splendid days. A bright sparkle that only love could give. I¡¯ve never even felt that way. ¡°¡­ weren¡¯t you afraid? Because of the worry that your husband might not accept your heart¡­¡­¡± ¡°Why? Because I was just a humble woman who had nothing?¡± When Mrs. Kearney smiled, her rabbit-like front teeth were clearly revealed. ¡°N, no, that¡¯s not what I meant. It¡¯s just¡­ When you fall in love¡­¡­ One would feel low and think poorly of their own self.¡± Because that person was so dazzling and high. When added quietly, madam smiled with a hum. ¡°I¡¯m kidding. I know what you¡¯re talking about, sweetheart. Literally. He was a wonderful man and was a woman who didn¡¯t have anything in particular.¡± Mrs. Kearney¡¯s words reminded me of Alan again. Exactly, something like an inseparable gap between me and him. ¡°But I wasn¡¯t in a situation to think about such details.¡± ¡°Why?¡± ¡°Because I had to live.¡± ¡°¡­..was it a matter of livelihood?¡± ¡°No, Melissa. If your love for him is as hot as if you swallowed fire, and if you don¡¯t spit it out¡­¡­ ¡°If you don¡¯t confess your feelings right away, you¡¯ll burn to death.¡± It was unfamiliar to see Mrs. Kearney, who was about fifty years old, told her love story with her eyes gleaming like a 20-year-old girl. ¡°When I gave my heart clumsily, he accepted my heart. It¡¯s worth being called a miracle.¡± ¡°¡­¡­He loved madam from the beginning, too.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know. Was it because of my courage? Maybe it was sympathy.¡± ¡°Sym¡­.pathy?¡± Hearing Mrs. Kearney¡¯s subsequent reply made me regret asking. ¡°I still don¡¯t know what the answer is. I¡¯ll never know. Because he¡¯s gone now.¡± ¡°I presumed it was sympathy because if he had rejected me, my marriage path would have been closed off as it was. I made such a clamorous confession.¡± ¡°¡­..You were reckless.¡± I muttered vaguely. The more I heard about Madam¡¯s story, the more surprised I was. It was hard for me to understand that she left the house because of love¡­¡­ Mrs. Kearney added, stroking the back of her wrinkled hand. ¡°When I think about it now, it makes me laugh. Maybe it was because I was young, but I wasn¡¯t scared either.¡± ¡°But the fact that I feel like I can live my whole life with only a few years of memories makes me look back on how blessed I was to meet such a person.¡± Many thoughts ran through my mind. In fact, my mind had become complicated the whole time I was listening to her story. I may or may not have known what was on madam¡¯s mind. The obvious thing was that she told a beautiful story. In the end, it was a memory of love that made Mrs. Kearney, who could have given up her life, ended up living again due to the shock of her loved one who suddenly left her. I suddenly thought about this. Love makes people live in some way. At the same time, I realized one thing. It was the fact that my feelings for Alan could not be called true love, It might be embarrassing to name this feeling as love, which was not as rational as my mother, neither as dependent as Viola nor desperate as Mrs. Kearney Because what I liked was just his appearance. Like Alan Leopold¡¯s upright beauty and elegance, also his aura that did not blend with others. Although he looked cold, I once imagined that Alan would actually have a heart as beautiful as his appearance. There were countless times I thought so. The time he laughed at me would be unforgettable, ¡°Let¡¯s pretend we didn¡¯t hear that.¡¯ But it ended up as an imagination. I thought maybe it would have been better not to meet him, but soon! shook my head. It was one of the most special events I¡¯ve ever encountered in my lame life. If I had been a little more worthy for that, his kindness might not have been just an imagination. Thinking so, I quickly accepted it, even though my heart ached. The attendant passed by the table where I was sitting and came back with backwards steps. The water jug was tilted over the opening of the glass when there was not much water left. ¡°¡­¡­ Oh, thank you.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t mention it, miss.¡± He answered in a calm voice and started walking again. The little amount of coffee left at the bottom of the cup had already cooled down, and there was a thin, yellow frothy strip that had dried up around it. I didn¡¯t know how many more ridiculous things existed in the world, but I came to Antris Coffee Shop. Theld the collection of love poems in my arms that I bought when I bumped into Alan yesterday. A few minutes after the attendant filled the glass of water, I turned the pages to the last chapter of the poetry book. I thought there were only a few more pages left, but it was the last chapter. ¡°Phew¡­¡± I didn¡¯t know myself either. They say love makes you a fool, and ever since yesterday, I¡¯ve only been doing things that I couldn¡¯t even understand. My crush was not so extreme or sublime, but kept on showing off its strong presence, and I repeatedly gave in. I admit it. I¡¯ve been noticeably agitated since I met him. I didn¡¯t really expect him to show up. The probability that he would come all the way here to meet me wasn¡¯t even close to zero, it was literally zero. Even though I knew it so clearly, my eyes went to the door right away whenever the doorbell rang. That¡¯s why I spent a long time reading all these small poems. And of course, no one who entered this coffee shop was Alan Leopold. The sky had turned red when I looked up through the wide window. Coincidentally, it was around the time we met. ¡°¡­.I¡¯m just like a fool.¡± Without realizing it, I let out a muffled mumble. It was so low that no one could hear it. Tomorrow Viola will come back to Florin, I should have met her. Thinking like that, I raised my tired body. The way back home was dull. Love seemed to give some people the strength to continue on with their lives and for others it was a heaven they could lean on, but why was mine so ironic? Is it all my problem? ¡°¡­maybe it is.¡± I was drenched in emotions after reading the book of love poems, and on my way home, I felt as if I could hear the sound of two footsteps but there was only a lonely wind blowing on the road. Even at the coffee shop and after leaving the coffee shop, it was clear that I had been daydreaming again. Longing for someone to appear, such a frivolous daydream. Getting lost in vain delusions seemed tos be my passionate hobby. ¡°Welcome, lady.¡± But when I got home, Julia, who greeted me, said something strange. ¡°Greg was here. He just left. It¡¯s been a while since he came, right? He even brought me some very good quality beef this time.¡± ¡°I see. I¡¯ll be able to eat Mrs. Kerney¡¯s beef stew tonight.¡± I answered in moderation and stretched my arms backward to make it easier for Julia to take off my coat. ¡°Oh, Greg said he saw you today? In the city.¡± ¡°Really? Why didn¡¯t he greet me? Was I too far from him? ¡°No, the lady was occupied by someone, so he didn¡¯t say hello.¡± Even though Julia took off my coat, I stopped without straightening my arms. I wasn¡¯t with anyone even for a brief moment today. ¡°Julia, I was alone.¡± ¡°I heard a tall man in black attire was walking behind you, miss. He was quite close. He could only see you both walking together¡­..¡± ¡°What¡­?¡± ¡°Lady, you don¡¯t have to pretend to be flustered. Mrs. Collins already liked him throughout the time when she heard you already met the man named Toby.¡± While Julia was chattering excitedly, I felt my fingertips tingling coldly. ¡°I heard he had long hair that covered his face. Is the lady okay with it? If you want to go on another date, tell him to cut it right away,¡± ¡°Julia.¡± As I continued to listen to her, I got goosebumps. I quickly cut off the girl¡¯s words. ¡°Lady, are you angry? I just¡­.¡± ¡°No, it¡¯s not like that¡­¡­. I¡¯ve been alone all day today. Really.¡± ¡°What?¡± ¡°I didn¡¯t even reply to a person named Tobias.¡± Only then did Julia close her mouth with a serious face. ¡°I didn¡¯t know because the streets were so crowded during the day. But now that I think about it¡­¡­.¡± ¡°On my way home, I felt like there were other footsteps¡­¡­.¡± I don¡¯t know the reason nor purpose, but it seemed that the suspicious man was following me ¡°Lady¡­¡± I wondered who he was if it wasn¡¯t a ghost. Chapter 6 Chapter 6: The Oath Of Love You Forever The new garrison (1) of my father¡¯s military unit was quite far from the capital. In other words, there were only women who lived in our house now. ¡°What should we do, lady? Could he have followed you all the way home?¡± ¡°¡­maybe.¡± Upon hearing my answer, Julia quickly became teary and ran toward my mother. ¡°You mean that wasn¡¯t the guy named Toby?¡± ¡°I¡¯ll get annoyed if you say it¡¯s just a joke, Melissa.¡± My mother didn¡¯t seem to buy it. In the end, it was Mrs. Kerney who went outside to take a look around the house. She stopped me from following her and went out of her door, and after a while, she returned to the house with a bold step that did not match her small stature. We gathered at the doorstep, and Julia, who was impatient, urged her. ¡°How is it outside, Mrs Kerney?¡± ¡°First of all, there was no suspicious person.¡± We breathed a sigh of relief at the same time, To my mother, who told me to be careful of going to the city alone for the time being, I replied that I would go with Viola if I had to go to the city. My mothen hated to go out, and Mrs. Kerney and Julia were always busy. After that, my mother nagged me to send a reply to Tobias Miller, and I endured that situation with an awkward expression as always. For a few days since then, I stayed inside the house and refrained myself from going out. Eating Mrs. Kerney¡¯s special beef stew and reading my favorite books repeatedly were a great comfort in my life, To be honest, it wasn¡¯t too hard. I thought it would be more appropriate to feel comfortable than feeling trapped. Perhaps there was a big reason why I was not the active type. When the shock of the stalking incident faded to some extent, I went out for the first time. Viola¡¯s mansion was just a short distance from my house, so it wasn¡¯t a huge outing. We were sitting next to each other on the sofa in the drawing room while drinking our tea. ¡°Oh my god, Melissa!¡± Viola, who heard my story, jumped up in surprise. It was astonishing how she did not spill her tea, but her response did not deviate even an inch from my expectations. ¡°What you¡¯re saying is¡­..!¡± ¡°I¡¯m not sure, so sit down, Viola.¡± I made my face as calm as possible to coax Viola. In fact, it was not that difficult because it was true that it got quite better. It¡¯s already been a few days since I went to the Antris coffee shop. ¡°Mel, why are you so calm? Isn¡¯t it scary? You said he was a tall man in black¡­..¡± ¡°¡­. Mr. Greg might have been mistaken. You know how crowded the city is during the weekend, right?¡± But Viola acted as if she couldn¡¯t hear me at all. She put down the teacup and began to pace around in front of me. ¡°His face was covered with hair. What¡¯s that¡­. It¡¯s so suspicious¡­..¡± Viola murmured anxiously. At this rate, I almost became nervous too. I pretended to be calm once again. Isn¡¯t there a saying that what you say and what you think comes true? ¡°Viola, I¡¯m begging you. Stop it and sit down. You¡¯re trying to make me anxious too.¡± ¡°Melissa¡­¡± Viola sat down next to me, stretching the end of her words in her characteristic husky voice. The sofa shook slightly. ¡°Here. Drink the tea.¡± I brought the teacup on the tea table back into her hand. A moment of silence passed as we sip our teacups at the same time. ¡°I thought about it.¡± I opened my mouth. ¡°I don¡¯t think so. There¡¯s no reason to stalk me.¡± ¡°What?¡± I recited it like the most rational person in the world, but the only reply was that it was absurd. The golden eyebrows of Viola were raised. ¡°You¡¯re really weird sometimes, Melissa.¡± ¡°Your eyebrows look weird now, Viola.¡± When I counterattacked without losing, Viola put down the teacup again. Then she crossed her arms and shot back. ¡°Is there a law that states you won¡¯t get a stalker?¡± ¡°What¡­¡± ¡°Stalkers don¡¯t necessarily stick to celebrities.¡± Viola was more serious than ever. ¡°In the first place, with the mindset of normal people, Do you think the stalker will stalk with a compelling reason?¡± ¡°Well, they must have their own reasons.¡± ¡°So, you think that¡¯s a normal reason!¡± Viola, who was talking as if frustrated, continued speaking in a firm voice. ¡°I can¡¯t do this, Mel. Let¡¯s write a letter to Tobias Miller right now!¡± ¡°¡­ What kind of nonsense is that all of a sudden?¡± In response to the unexpected reaction, I set my half cup of tea down on the table and changed my posture. ¡°If he finds out you have a man, he will leave you.¡± ¡°No¡­ he might not be a stalker.¡± ¡°It might be right, you idiot! Why the hell are you so carefree?¡± Viola looked a little angry. When I shut my mouth, the harsh voice that had risen to the top turned calmly as if trying to persuade me. ¡°I think it¡¯s not worth it. If he is a real stalker, he will back down the moment he sees a man.¡± ¡°¡­But you can¡¯t take advantage of anyone.¡± ¡°Ha, is this the time to act righteous? And the man must be waiting for your reply, so what¡¯s the problem? He was being lovestruck.¡± ¡°Writing a reply is to help that person, not to use it. It¡¯s okay now, right?¡± The problem is that his target doesn¡¯t seem to be me¡­.. I couldn¡¯t refute it otherwise, so I took the tea cup to my lips. Somehow, I felt frustrated. However, it would be better to stop explaining my inferiority complex to Viola. Because I was sure my only friend would try to raise me up somehow. So I decided not to tell the story about my encounter with Alan. He never seemed to pick up the poetry book, so I didn¡¯t have to bring it up. I had to ask for a favor that was close to an appeal. Because I would see the difficult face of the struggling Viola to soothe me. Perhaps because it was such an unrealistic crush, wasn¡¯t particularly hurt by his attitude¡­.. ¡°Okay. I¡¯ll send him a letter.¡± I answered in a calm tone. Naturally, or fortunately, the embarrassing story of me going to a coffee shop was swallowed silently. ¡°Good idea, Mel! I hope Toby is a good person.¡± Viola looked relieved and bright. Seeing that face made me feel somewhat distant. What the hell should I send a reply? I didn¡¯t know Tobias Miller. I didn¡¯t know his age or appearance. There was still a lingering thought that he might be waiting for a reply from another woman other than me. I wish I had confidence in myself. If only it could be, much of life would be comfortable. It was cumbersome to guess that he was mistaken for a person even after looking at the love letter with my name clearly written on it. It was not hard to assume that he really wrote a letter to me- Melissa Collins, who was always holding her breath like air in a corner seat ¨C because he has a unique taste. The problem was that I naturally had a hunch that he would regret sending me a love letter after seeing me properly. My face from a distance may have looked much nicer than when he saw it closely, and my hair may have looked golden at first glance in the light. I thought looked better from a distance. Alan Leopold wouldn¡¯t have been so cold to me if I had been a brighter person up close. ¡°What¡¯s wrong, Mel?¡± My hand, which had only been fiddling with the tip of my sleeve, was covered with Viola¡¯s hand, and my thoughts were over. ¡°Do you not know what to write?¡± ¡°¡­¡­No.¡± My sense of inferiority was so deep that it was hard to show even to my only best friend. ¡°Oh, my. Viola.¡± So I decided to change the subject a little. ¡°You haven¡¯t told me the story of last weekend¡¯s Piccom trip yet. Did you like it?¡± I guess it was obvious that I was trying to change the subject. Viola looked at me for a few seconds with a suspicious gaze and moved her lips. ¡°Yes, there is. It¡¯s kind of bad to say this now¡­¡­.¡± ¡°What are you talking about?¡± ¡°You should date too, Melissa.¡± Ha. I was wondering what you were saying. I was relieved and laughed like a sigh. ¡°No, why on earth didn¡¯t you do it? Isn¡¯t this good?¡± ¡°¡­..Why? Which one is that good?¡± She seemed like wanting to talk, so she asked me an insinuating question. Viola turned toward me, sweeping up her bushy blonde hair. ¡°Last weekend at Piccom, I finally heard the oath to love you forever. He wants to live for me¡­.¡± The eyes of Viola who said so were shining like stars. It¡¯s a bit far-fetched, but when I lived in Korea, I never valued the word ¡®I love you¡¯ highly. Because it was a very common and overflowing word. One of the things I learned while living in Sourne is that people here did not say I love you¡¯ carelessly. Even if they are lovers. But would that change the value of saying I love you? In the end, it¡¯s just a word. Words are shapeless and are always scattered quickly I can¡¯t promise anything. I couldn¡¯t understand at all that people die or live because of a few words that have no power. In other words, I can¡¯t easily tell what Viola feels like with a teary face in front of my eyes. No matter how close we are. ¡°Really? That¡¯s good.¡± ¡°¡­¡­yes?¡± Was my plain reaction awkward? Viola hurriedly drank the tea. Then, she spoke again excitedly, wondering if something came to mind. ¡°Let¡¯s go to Piccom together next time! It¡¯s completely different from Florin. There are many green hills, and each ridge is full of flowers.¡± ¡°It must be similar to heaven.¡± ¡°You will love it too! Me and Jacob are just waiting for the leaves to turn. Let¡¯s go before winter comes, Mel.¡± I¡¯ll introduce Jacob to you then. She added with a shy smile that did not match Viola. ¡°Yes, I¡¯m looking forward to it.¡± When Viola saw Jacob who came to the capital city, she fell in love at a single glance and dropped her handkerchief in front of him. It was fate that she captured him with that clumsy wink¡­. In any case, the great love that makes you swear to devote your whole life to it all begins with a trivial coincidence. In a way, that¡¯s ridiculous. The reason why I came to love Alan was as lame as Viola and Jacob. Childish and obvious repertoire of falling in love at first sight. It was an autumn day at the age of twelve, when I secretly peeped at him over the shoulders of the adults gathered at the venue and held my breath. Tobias would not be much different. I still don¡¯t know if I¡¯m really the one he cares about. ¡°Right, Mel!¡± As I was staring into the air with these nutty thoughts, Viola suddenly grabbed my arm. ¡°Did you hear about Sir Alan?¡± *** [1] a group of troops stationed in a fortress or town to defend it. Comments from Korean readers: Oh, it¡¯s so much fun. But I¡¯m glad she has a friend like Viola TTT Who is it?! Who stalked her? Chapter 7 Chapter 7: A Mysterious Beauty ¡°What are you talking about?¡± I haven¡¯t been out of the house since the stalking incident from last weekend. There was no such thing as a way for me to hear about Alan. It¡¯s not like going out of the house won¡¯t make a point. ¡°Sir Alan was at the coffee shop last weekend.¡± I choked as swallowed the wrong way. ¡°Mel, are you okay?¡± Last Sunday was the day I waited for Alan blankly at the Antris coffee shop. Looking down at the words that couldn¡¯t be read at all with a bored gaze. There are only two coffee shops in the capital, Antris and Libre. Even though I knew it was useless, I vaguely imagined it. What was the probability that he entered the coffee shop before me and sat out of sight? It was a nonsensical fantasy, but just imagining it somehow made my heart race. Of course, if he really had come to the coffee shop to meet me, he wouldn¡¯t have talked to me. Nevertheless, I held back my lips from asking which coffee shop he was at. With force majeure. (T/N: it means he just wanted to see her and not talk to her) But my lips were shut tightly because of Viola¡¯s words that followed. Because I lost the meaning to ask. ¡°So, Sir Alan was in Antris last Saturday.¡± Saturday was the day I met him after buying the poetry book. At that time, the sky was already turning red, and I didn¡¯t know if Alan had already stopped by a coffee shop or was on his way to it. I was just a little questionable about Viola speaking as if it were some great event. Although it is not common for Alan Leopold to appear in the middle of the city, is it so surprising that he was at a coffee shop? ¡°Why are you talking so seriously?¡± ¡°Sir Alan was with a girl!¡± ¡°Ah¡­.¡± Alan was always the center of the topic. He must be tired of his position, but it can¡¯t be helped. Because everyone was anxious that they couldn¡¯t reach him. But he didn¡¯t get along well with women or men. It was probably not because he was shy or something else. Because he was the heir of the Leopold Family, and he was sure to speak only when necessary, I¡¯ve always imagined that the reason he didn¡¯t like to mix easily with people was because he was tired of people or because of his arrogance. But last weekend, when I first met him, who had always been watching him from a distance, I had a vague thought. There was a very high probability that it might be the latter. If the mere fact that he was with a woman was enough to circulate, there would be no way that the other person was his relative, his employer, or a business-related socialite. perhaps¡­.. ¡°It was said that she was a mysterious beauty.¡± I don¡¯t know why my heart stung at that word. ¡°I heard that she had luscious red hair and wore glamorous clothes, but no one in the social world knew her.¡± ¡°¡­¡­ That¡¯s strange.¡± ¡°I know. Maybe she¡¯s a foreigner.¡± ¡°Are they in a relationship? Those two.¡± I don¡¯t know why I¡¯m asking this question. ¡°Well¡­It seemed like a pretty close relationship, so maybe it is? There was a lot of talk about his hidden fiancee.¡± Viola¡¯s face, as she answered with babbling, looked calm. Actually, she likes Alan¡¯s beauty, but she didn¡¯t see him as a love object, so maybe that¡¯s why she¡¯s also in a relationship right now. However, it was strange in any way to think that my heart fluctuated like a ship that met a storm after hearing the story from Viola. I don¡¯t know if I had expected that my relationship with him could progress just once when I ran into him¡­¡­. Sending a letter to Tobias Miller was already a decision. As Viola said, it¡¯s worth losing, so I decided to reply in a simple way. However, after hearing the story of Alan and the young witch, I wanted to send a sincere reply. Thinking about it now, I wonder if it was something, like being grumpy. It¡¯s a fleeting grudge that the other person (Alan) won¡¯t notice at all. ¡°I don¡¯t necessarily see it as bad.¡± Viola suddenly opened her mouth. ¡°It¡¯s welcoming to see the kingdom¡¯s young women to stop tormenting their foolish hopes and face reality.¡± ¡°¡­..yes.¡± That day, as soon as I got home, I wrote a letter to Tobias Miller. I wrote each letter with great care, using elegant handwriting, which was one of my few talents. Sometimes I¡¯m surprised by my own childishness. Dear Mr Miller, Excuse me for not having answered your letter sooner. I hope I¡¯m not too late. I¡¯m sorry to have caused you a fever, but I was happy to receive the letter. At the same time, I thought all the time about what to say to answer. I¡¯ll be coming of age this year, but I¡¯m still a girl who¡¯s not good at everything. I¡¯ll give you a chance to meet me again. I¡¯m curious about you, too. I¡¯ll wait at the Antris coffee shop on Saturday afternoon. I¡¯ll be wearing a hat with a sky blue ribbon. Best regards, Melissa. * * * In the midst of a quiet daily routine, the weekend has returned without fail. It was bright Saturday morning when my mother came to wake me up by herself with an excited face. I was tempted to let my mother go instead of me to meet Tobias Miller. There was still a possibility that he was really about the age of a father or an old gentleman. As I was leaving the house, my mother made a fuss for a while, saying she would call a carriage, and I had to sweat a lot to refuse it. Mrs. Kerney and Julia were also bustling as they saw me off to the front door. ¡°I said I want to go to a wonderful place¡­..I¡¯ll be back without being late..¡± ¡°You will be late, Melissa!¡± Fearing that my mother¡¯s sermon would begin with those words, I hurried out the door. The three women were behaving as if all my finding a imate was everything in life. Perhaps my father would have felt the same way. Is this how a soldier who goes to the battlefield for his country feels? I walked away with a deflated smile. Outside, the air of autumn was getting thicker. The smell of wet leaves was carried by the cool wind. My heart was pounding for some reason, and I felt nervous as if I was floating in the air. It was not even noon yet when I arrived at the coffee shop. The table was half full and filled with a moderately pleasant commotion. I looked around the inside with nervous eyes, but I couldn¡¯t see the figure of a man alone. I felt a deep sense of relief and sat down in a corner as if I had collapsed. ¡°Good weekend, Miss.¡± At that time, an attendant with a friendly smile quickly approached. ¡°Oh, I¡¯d like an Espresso please. Without sugar.¡± As soon as I finished my order, the attendant politely bowed down and left. As I stared at the white back, the surrounding landscape caught my eye again. Even in the middle of the leisurely weekend, Antris Coffee Shop boasted a cozy atmosphere. The walls surrounded by dark Mahogany panels went well with the small floral decorations hanging everywhere, and the teak wooden floor, which stood out with the grain of the wood, twinkled like a mirror, as if it had been polished carefully. It was when I was looking down at the wooden floor tightly woven with chevron patterns and chasing the narrow gap with a blurred gaze for a while. ¡°Miss Collins?¡± When I heard a cautious voice over my head, I froze. didn¡¯t have the talent to talk to a man in a casual manner. The moment has come to admit that meeting him was just a hasty attack. Fortunately, at least, his voice was cautious enough to give the impression that he was gentle, and that he didn¡¯t seem like an old man. ¡°¡­ Right?¡± When the calm question knocked on my ear again, raised my head. ¡°To¡­ Mr. Miller?¡± I couldn¡¯t remember his name for a moment, but I stuttered like a fool. He affirmed my words with a wide smile. The man in front of me seemed to be less than thirty. The first thing I noticed was his slightly brighter brown hair that looked soft like coffee with milk. His eyes were dark black, and his smile was kind. ¡°Thank you very much for giving me a chance to meet you again. Can I sit down if you don¡¯t mind?¡± ¡°Oh, yes¡­I placed an order first¡­¡­.¡± I was visibly gibberish. He had a comfortable impression that could be easily seen around him, and it was never because of the reason that he was a very handsome man. What made me nervous was the fact that the person he sent the love letter to was indeed me. Because was implicitly thinking that he would be embarrassed when he saw my face¡­ ¡°It¡¯s okay. I¡¯ll order Miss Collins¡¯ coffee then.¡± I had a lot of questions. Like why did you send me a love letter and what aspect of me that you liked? I just couldn¡¯t say anything because I didn¡¯t want to ask any stupid question. The same was true of the other person who was unable to start the conversation. He seemed to be thinking about what to say to me. Of course, he seemed nervous, but I was so rigid that anyone could tell it. The first word he chose was outstanding. ¡°It¡¯s a pretty hat.¡± ¡°Ah¡­¡± At those words, I could see at once that he was a thoughtful person. Suddenly, I felt like my vigilance melted away like snow. Half, if not all. ¡°Thank you. I put a ribbon on the hat my aunt and grandmother gave me. I didn¡¯t put it on myself, but¡­.¡± ¡°Awesome. I¡¯m so happy to see you again¡­¡­ Oh, did I already tell you this story¡­.¡± ¡°¡­¡­Yes, Mr. Miller.¡± Then he smiled shyly. ¡°You can call me Toby.¡± Soon after, when the attendant approached and put down a small cup of coffee in front of me, Toby sent the attendant away by asking for the same thing as me. It was only the two of us again. ¡°I think I have to explain how I ended up sending such a letter.¡± Toby nervously touched his nails and smiled nicely. As if trying to reassure me. The Indian dimples that went wide over their cheeks looked innocent. ¡°I may sound like a fool¡­.. I thought you were beautiful, Miss Collins.¡± ¡°¡­What about me?¡± ¡°Wasn¡¯t it written in the letter?¡± He let out a shy laugh. I couldn¡¯t believe this tickling situation. ¡°My eyes are brown. How can they look like a lake? || thought you were mistaken for me and someone else¡­..¡± ¡°When I first looked at you, I thought your eyes were clear.¡± ¡°If you were to talk about colors¡­¡­ It can be called a lake deep in the mountains in autumn.¡± He spoke just like a poet. I was just puzzled because found someone praising my ordinary eyes for the first time. Dark-colored eyes looked at me cautiously. ¡°A lake full of beautiful maple trees, Miss Collins.¡± *** T/N: find yourself a man who praises you like Toby. Comments from Korean readers: Wow TTTTit¡¯s perfect It¡¯s ticklish! So good!! Oh my¡­. Ha i need to buy more cookies that¡¯s funny He speaks so beautifully TTTT Awww, he is poetic I ain¡¯t dating unless I get a man like him Chapter 8 - The Real Commotion Starts Now Chapter 8: The Real Commotion Starts Now After the day we parted our ways, after drinking coffee together at Antris, I met Tobias Miller once more. We sat on the terrace of a quiet restaurant and chatted while eating sandwiches. To say that I was the kind of person who could sit in front of an unfamiliar man and eat well. It¡¯s surprising. When he finished eating, he said, ¡®Did you know that the Royal Academy Gardens are great for strolling?¡¯ That¡¯s how we ended up walking side by side inside the academy fence. There were many times when I passed by on my way, but it was my first time visiting in person, so I felt new. I unconsciously thought about Alan Leopold, who was once a student here. The nickname of the Academy¡¯s top honour student followed him throughout his school days. It was last year that he quit because he was helping his father¡¯s business, maybe. There was a time when I dreamed of entering the academy just because Alan was in the academy. It¡¯s been a few years already, but seeing the beautiful building as beautiful as the palace directly and the fresh garden lined with evergreen trees made me envious of the students here again. But I am a realistic person. I am well aware that I will never be admitted here. This is because my mother¡¯s theory that a woman needs only enough education to marry a good man is so strong. Of course, the tuition fees itself is not at a level that we can afford, anyways let¡¯s stop thinking about this¡­.. Through two meetings, I learned quite a lot about Tobias. He is the son of a pastor who is in charge of a small parish and is currently attending the Royal Academy He said that he came to the capital city during the time for admission to the academy last year. In other words, he was a pretty late student, but I thought it was worth it. Maybe it took a few years for him to make the decision to enter the academy. It¡¯s rare to find a person to be as cautious as Toby. Oh, he is twenty-six years old. He was six years older than me, but he was so considerate that it was okay. ¡®If you suddenly ask me why he is considerate, I can explain it like this. I¡¯ve never felt that I couldn¡¯t communicate with Toby, who is neither my age nor my interests. I just acted like usual, and it is self-evident that all of this was due to his consideration. ¡°Oh my gosh, that¡¯s so good!¡± When I talked about Toby, Viola always applauded and welcomed me. The reason why it feels strange is that the reaction of Viola is surprisingly the same as that of my mother. ¡°So, so? So? Did you have feelings for him?¡± ¡°¡­.. What are you talking about, we¡¯ve only met twice.¡± When I answered while pretending to be calm, Viola hugged me. ¡°My Melissa! I¡¯m so proud of you!¡± ¡°What are you talking about¡­.¡± ¡°You¡¯re flustered, aren¡¯t you? What are you talking about? You forgot everything else, right?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡­¡­It would¡¯ve been right to be embarrassed. This situation itself doesn¡¯t matter when I¡¯m talking about being with a man. ¡°Mel! Don¡¯t do that, tell me more about him.¡± ¡°¡­¡­ That¡¯s all I said earlier. He¡¯s learning trade at the academy, his father is a pastor, and he has a caring personality.¡± Viola became very excited. ¡°The family must be quite relaxed, seeing that he went to the academy at a late age. He¡¯s perfect to be your groom.¡± ¡°Nothing ¡­¡­¡± Once again, I almost gave the same answer, but I quickly covered my mouth with my hands. We¡¯ve only met twice, so what groom? ¡°He must have a gentle personality because he¡¯s the son of a pastor! It suits you perfectly!¡± ¡°When I¡¯m with him, I don¡¯t get nervous and I feel comfortable¡­¡­ It¡¯s fascinating.¡± ¡°Oh my god!¡± Despite my plain answer, Viola squealed as she bounced up and down. Because of the recoil, even my body, which I was sitting in bed with, shook wildly. ¡°Viola! Be careful¡­¡­!¡± ¡°What about appearance? Handsome? Tall? Is his physique strong? What do you think?¡± ¡°Ask me one by one¡­¡­.¡± I felt like my face was about to burst. I became shy for talking about someone for so long who isn¡¯t even my lover ¡°I think his physique and height are okay¡­.. His face is normal. An innocent impression.¡± ¡°Mel, you¡¯re not saying he¡¯s normal because you¡¯re used to sir Alan¡¯s face, are you? When I see him I hope he¡¯s handsome.¡± ¡°It¡¯s not like that¡­¡­.¡± As I stretched my words, Viola blew me away with a playful look. Like someone whose only hobby is weaving Toby and me. ¡°So, when are you going to meet next time?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know yet. Since it¡¯s exam season soon, I think we¡¯ll meet again soon¡­..¡± ¡°Ah! I can¡¯t wait!¡± Why are you¡­ ¡°I have a feeling, Mel. On the third day you both will meet, something is bound to happen!¡± Viola clasped her hands and her eyes lit up. Somehow I felt strange. I can¡¯t believe that meeting a man is such a hot topic. ¡°¡­¡­. Making such a fuss. Even if we meet, there¡¯s nothing much. Just talk about this and that¡­¡­¡± ¡°What do you mean, nothing special? He has a strong crush on you, Melissa! You¡¯re pretending you don¡¯t know, right? ¡°In addition, he isn¡¯t a bad guy either. However, in my opinion, that is not the case, right?¡± It is not easy to deceive an old friend¡¯s eyes. ¡°He¡¯s not bad¡­¡­.¡± Tobias wasn¡¯t a bad person. He¡¯s a really good man. Of course, there was no such thing as love at first sight, as I had with Alan. However, he said that he has a crush on me. Unbelievably. I heard that you wrote a letter just because of my eyes¡­.?¡± ¡®¡­..No way. The elegant and modest appearance was beautiful, Miss Collins. As soon as / saw you, I fell in love with you.¡± My heart beat uncontrollably thinking that I was like Alan to him. I wondered if this was really possible. I have never known that even ordinary people like me can shine like stars in someone¡¯s eyes. Of course, no one knows how long that person¡¯s heart will last. Love is not as solid as you think. Nevertheless, this feeling of being fully loved is quite addictive. I felt a powerful force from his friendly eyes that even my long sense of inferiority died down. I feel like a part of me that I didn¡¯t even know is finally awakened. I feel like I¡¯m truly alive¡­.. I couldn¡¯t even imagine. That a stranger who I had known for less than a month would give me such great feelings. ¡°Your face is so red, Mel! Don¡¯t you really like Toby?¡± ¡°¡­No, that¡¯s not it.¡± ¡°How can you guarantee that? You¡¯ve never been in a relationship.¡± Cheeky Viola stretched my cheeks without hurting me, but there was nothing to refute. ¡°I think it¡¯s possible enough. You were just shy and naive and didn¡¯t realize it.¡± ¡°When you see him next time, do whatever you want!¡± ¡°What do you mean, whatever I want¡­?¡± When I blushed in embarrassment, Viola shrugged. ¡°You are an adult. Who cares?¡± I sometimes tearfully envy the pride and shamelessness of Viola. If I were Viola, I would have forgotten Alan a long time ago. Tobias Miller is thoughtful and delicate. He also speaks with beautiful words. Is that all? He even gave me amazing feelings. So I can¡¯t deny that I feel a human favor beyond gratitude to him. However, I don¡¯t love Toby. I¡¯m sure of it. My face is burning and my heart is beating faster because of the overwhelming feelings he has made me feel, not because of him. (T/N: ugh this is a bit confusing ig(?) She means that she is feeling like this because of the feelings that Toby made her feel and not because of him, it doesn¡¯t makes sense because she is justifying herself in a nonsensical way, she doesn¡¯t want to admit she likes him, ig) If I say this, Viola might run wildly, saying what kind of contradiction is that. But it¡¯s so obvious. Tobias can¡¯t make my heart flutter. Right. This is it. ¡°Viola, I know.¡± ¡°What do you know? How do you feel about Miller?¡± She¡¯s really¡­ ¡°¡­¡­. That person can¡¯t make me excited. So, I don¡¯t like that person.¡± ¡°Melissa.¡± Viola laughed. I didn¡¯t know the meaning of the laugh, so I tilted my head. ¡°Think of it like a fruit. Then it¡¯s easy.¡± ¡°What fruit?¡± Viola patted my shoulders lightly. ¡°It¡¯s just freshly formed and it¡¯s still green, but if you think you want to eat it, that¡¯s weird.¡± ¡°But it¡¯s all formed, right? If you work hard while giving the sun and water, it will ripen red. You know what I mean, right?¡± ¡°¡­..you mean that I¡¯m going to like him?¡± ¡°Yes.¡± Viola stretched and answered. There was no bandage anymore around the legs that stretched forward with her slim arms. ¡°Not all love falls at a single glance like lightning strikes. Many of them, often happen slowly, like a fruit ripening and a blooming flower.¡± I somehow liked her words. ¡°When I see you now, I think you can grow this fruit well in the end, so I¡¯m saying this.¡± ¡°Is that possible¡­. I don¡¯t know.¡± ¡°You¡¯ll find out if you watch it!¡± Viola laughed. Adding with a pleasant voice. ¡°By the way, isn¡¯t that person such a perfect guardian angel?¡± ¡°Guardian Angel? It is true that he has a good influence on me, but¡­.¡± ¡°He hasn¡¯t appeared since then, did he? That stalker.¡± ¡°Ah!¡± Only then did I realize that I had completely forgotten about the stalking commotion. Of course, the commotion may have been caused by Greg¡¯s illusion, but it was true that I had never felt strange since that day. ¡°It¡¯s faster to show a reliable man to such a gloomy man.¡± What did I say? Viola said with a proud voice, But then we didn¡¯t know. That this terrible commotion is not over yet. * * * It had been less than a week since I met Tobias again. Toby, as always, has set time and place with respectful correspondence. After meeting this time, I would not be able to meet him for a while due to his exams. Perhaps because of that thought, I arrived at the Antris coffee shop much earlier than the appointed time. It was the first place where we met. When I realized that waiting for Toby wasn¡¯t very boring, I finally thought that he and I could become lovers someday. How long has it been? Toby ran to me, sitting in the terrace seat and enjoying the sun. ¡°Melissa!¡± ¡°Toby¡­¡± The fact that we decided to call each other by name belatedly made me blush. ¡°You came early. I also came early.¡± With a wistful smile, he sat down on the opposite of me. ¡°Is your friend already gone?¡± ¡°¡­.. What do you mean friend?¡± I couldn¡¯t understand what he was saying suddenly, so I vaguely asked back. ¡°The person standing right behind you¡­¡­ Wasn¡¯t he an acquaintance of yours, Melissa?¡± ¡°What¡­¡± ¡°I saw it from a distance. A tall man with long red hair. His face was covered by hair so I couldn¡¯t see him well.¡± ¡°Toby¡­¡± Toby looked worried when I suddenly began to tremble. ¡°Are you okay? Your face¡­¡­.¡± ¡°L¡­¡­¡± I definitely didn¡¯t feel any signs, but how¡­¡­. ¡°I feel like I¡¯m being stalked.¡± Comments from Korean readers She looks so beautiful just by looking at the picture. Isn¡¯t it just the female character who thinks like that? This is a real romance thriller. There are times when I¡¯m scared, but I¡¯m totally into it. Even though it¡¯s my second time watching it¡­ The supporting actors are all vivid, and I like viola and Melissa. 5. Both of them are cute. Red-haired Alan, the person who was at the cafesiblings, or himself¡­ The best writing skills¡­. Chapter 9 - Insane Loneliness Chapter 9: Insane Loneliness When I entered the house, my mother greeted me with a bright smile. It seemed that she watched the whole scene when Tobias took me to the front of the house through the window. But I couldn¡¯t respond to the hospitality at all. The reason he took me home was far from my mother¡¯s wish. That¡¯s not a good way either. I didn¡¯t want to ruin my mother¡¯s joy, but I couldn¡¯t help it. After contemplating for a long time, confessed about an unknown man who was standing behind me. ¡°Mel, are you now¡­¡± ¡°Are you saying that the suspicious person has appeared again¡­?¡± My mother¡¯s hands trembled as she embroidered my dress. Mrs. Kerney, who was sitting next to her, folded the clothes and raised her head with an astonished look. ¡°I¡¯m not sure yet.¡± ¡°Did something happen to you¡­¡­¡± ¡°When Tobias came, he was already gone.¡± I spoke in a tone that was as calm as possible. Literally not certain at all. Not yet. ¡°What I want to ask you two is¡­¡­ Did Mr. Greg talk about his hair before?¡± ¡°¡­ Long hair. I heard it¡¯s so messy that it covered his face.¡± ¡°Color, Mom. Didn¡¯t you hear what color it was?¡± ¡°Let¡¯s see¡­ so¡­¡± My mother¡¯s gaze headed into space as if she couldn¡¯t remember it well. Her dark amber eyes were shaking with anxiety. ¡°Red.¡± At that time, Mrs. Kearney suddenly opened her mouth. ¡°He definitely said red, Melissa.¡± ¡°Ah¡­¡± I had no desire to cause concern to my precious women. But my will was too weak. Because collapsed helplessly at the shock flooding like a tsunami. ¡°Melissa!¡± Mom, what should I do¡­ The stalker hasn¡¯t done any harm to me yet. The fact that he was hovering around me was not even noticed by me, the person involved. Nevertheless, the reason why fear outweighs the thought of relief was that the intention of the red haired man was unclear. There can be no one in the world who keeps following someone for no reason. Other than that, he must obviously have something like an ulterior-motive Even if it¡¯s something that can¡¯t be understood. There was nothing to point out at all, but I couldn¡¯t help but know that what he wanted from me was not money. After all, this is Florin. The capital of the Kingdom, where countless nobles, gentries(1), and wealthy businessmen walk on the boulevard in splendid outfits. The ¡®Me¡¯ between them looks shabby even at first glance. So, that red-haired man cannot be an ordinary thief. No matter how clumsy of a thief he is, he won¡¯t target me. If so, it means that he approached me hoping for something other than money and valuables. Needless to say, this was a bigger problem. This is because the things that can be targeted instead of money and valuables are full of terrible things. I don¡¯t want to list them all. No, I don¡¯t even want to think about them. ¡­.. This is why I was trapped in the house once again. That¡¯s why I¡¯m daydreaming in front of the desk with my chin held up blankly. I couldn¡¯t meet Tobias due to my restarting life, but I couldn¡¯t see him for a while anyway. This is because the academy he attends has already entered the exam period. Thinking about it that way, it somehow comforted me. ¡°¡­ I¡¯m bored.¡± I don¡¯t even know when I started being a person who gets bored while staying in the house. I blankly fiddled with my nails and let out a long yawn. It was a lazy afternoon. I was slowly getting tired of reading books that I had saved enough to take out and read when I was about to forget. I¡¯ve read them enough to be able to point out the page numbers and paragraphs in which my favourite phrases are in. Well, it¡¯s natural to be bored because there are no new books. Was the last time I bought a book half a year ago? Of course, I recently bought a book of poetry, but rarely got my hands on it after reading the last chapter at the coffee shop. Even though I only looked through it once. The reason is that I¡¯m not the type of person who enjoys reading poetry. ¡­.. What a lie to say. Of course, this is because the collection of poems reminds me of Alan. It is so obvious even if I try to pretend it¡¯s not. Alan Leopold will be the only one in the world who can save me the price of a hat and make me get married, It seemed like a fate that I had to buy a love poetry book because I didn¡¯t have enough money, and that bumped into Alan as soon as I bought it. It was exquisite like fate, so I secretly had a dreamy expectation. Although it was only a fleeting coincidence. Suddenly, I reached out to the bookshelf and took out the collection of poems. I didn¡¯t mean to open it. I just swept slowly through the soft leather cover. Only then did I notice the title of the poetry book. ¡­¡­ Yes, that¡¯s the title. Now that I think about it, my crush on Alan is like a long journey over the years. It¡¯s like I dedicated all my adolescence to him. I always thought of him as opened my eyes in the morning and closed my eyes at night like a lovesick person. My quiet and unstable adolescence was fully centred over him. I barely reached my coming of age like that. So, for me, Alan is not something that I can easily shake off. Even now, my aching feelings for him have not changed. Even after receiving a cynical and scornful glance from him. Seriously, I think there¡¯s no other fool like me. How long will it take for this past unrequited love to become a thing in the past, just like the title of the poem? How many years would it be? Just like the time I¡¯ve loved him. No, maybe it will take more than double the time. At that time, I had the sharpest and most precarious feelings in my life, and now I¡¯m much duller than back then. ¡­¡­I have no choice but to endure it.¡± I muttered helplessly. Somehow I felt stuffy. This feeling, of course, probably didn¡¯t come from a chipmunk life. I¡¯m a little bored now, but I¡¯m infinitely calm. While putting the poetry back in, I noticed a book was stuck on the edge of the shelf. It was at the end of the bookshelf where I couldn¡¯t reach even if I stretched my arms while sitting. Unless I put it there on purpose¡­¡­. ¡°¡­¡­Ah.¡± It was only then that I remembered. The shameful feelings that I put in there. There was an appreciation letter of Alan dedicated to him in that book. I was afraid to throw them away, let alone look at them again, even though I wrote them myself. But what kind of wind is blowing? Before I knew it, stood up and reached for the book. It was an old classic novel. The reason why this book became a place to hide my clumsy emotions was simple. Because the cover is pretty. So this book was always on the desk like a decoration, and there was no other option when Mrs. Kearney suddenly came at that time. The line art embroidered with gold thread on the bright red cloth cover was the image of a crying woman. I really liked it because it was so depressing that it fits the atmosphere of the book. This book is the thickest novel I have. Perhaps that¡¯s why it took me a year to read all of it. Of course, the content is so heavy that it is also because I read it from time to time. It¡¯s a pity that I couldn¡¯t dare to read it again and turned it into a decorative thing. As I randomly lifted the book, the middle of the book opened wide with the smell of old paper, revealing a half-folded piece of paper and an envelope. ¡°¡­..It¡¯s not just some bookmark.¡± I muttered blankly. I couldn¡¯t open the letter because it was already sealed, but it was rather fortunate. Because I had no confidence to face the feelings of love again, which I had written down with trembling hands. I¡¯m such a coward. Suddenly a laugh came out. In the first place, I was so pathetic that I wrote a letter without having the courage to convey it. It¡¯s a letter that I¡¯ve never even taken out of the room after spending quite a while to seal it beautifully with wax. How can I not be self-deprecating? My hand suddenly headed straight to the folded paper. It wasn¡¯t a long time ago that I wrote this, but for some reason, I was afraid to open it. No, rather than being afraid, I felt uncomfortable somewhere. To be exact, I felt like I had committed a crime. Why? Because of Tobias? What the hell is he and I in a relationship? I¡¯m just a clever girl with a rustic shell. Watching and enjoying with passion and blurred eyes, and comforting myself with it. I¡¯m a deceptive person who pretends not to know the true feelings because I am afraid to move on. If you ask why, the answer is simple. Because if showed everything, anyone would be disappointed and turn around. Because I don¡¯t have more than they thought and I¡¯m not as attractive as they thought. When he leaves, there will be no one left in this world, who will love me from the opposite sex, and I do not want that sudden vacancy. Tjust want to taste the sweet love like sugar for a long time with little effort like now. ¡°¡­Ha.¡± ¡­I thought I would really hate this, so I hurriedly shook my head. No one else can love me as much as he does. Forever. If he doesn¡¯t stay by my side, eventually everything in life loses its meaning. So, before I hate myself even more, I have to face my ignorance. I took a deep breath for no reason and spread out a thin sheet of paper folded in half. Intentionally making a fluttering sound and letting out a loud noise. It was only five sentences. Even the last sentence was as short as writing. Hair that resembles the distant universe and eyes like the dark dawn sky. However, as soon as I saw the first sentence, one side, of my heart already ached. This is how the desperate five-line appreciation ended. Someone like a flower blooming under the shade. ¡°Like a flower blooming under the shade¡­¡­.¡± ¡­ Alan. My Alan Leopold, who I loved for nearly half of my life. I love him so much. Even when he didn¡¯t even know my existence, even after facing the cold eyes which looked down at me. I crossed my arms and tightly hugged my neck. If I do this when I¡¯m lonely, I¡¯ll feel a little better. But now that I don¡¯t listen to it at all, I am in trouble. Just thinking of him made me feel insanely lonely, and at the same time, my heart was overwhelmed like crazy. It was difficult to express, but to explain it in an old fashioned way, I felt like I needed a breakaway. Should I give this letter to Alan? I can¡¯t show him this heart. Even if he coldly ignores, tears my letter, or even tramples on it and leaves without opening it, if I don¡¯t even do that¡­¡­. ¡°Toby..¡± Can Tobias Miller, with his gentle affection, save me?! desperately wanted to believe that it would be. No, I had to. [1] Gentry are ¡°well-born, genteel and well-bred people¡± of high social class, especially in the past. Comments from Korean readers: The writing is smooth and easy to read! Your writing skills are so good Wait, is the red-haired woman with Alan the stalker? A novel that goes well with the word beautiful¡­. It¡¯s been a while since I saw good writing. I¡¯m happy. That¡¯s right. The writing is really pretty. Chapter 10 Was It You? My mother looked worried, which was not like her. ¡°Are you sure you¡¯ll be okay?¡± No matter how scary the stalker is. Still, she is hesitant to send her daughter to the social world. I¡¯ve been waiting all my life to see it. Is this what a 20-year-old says? ¡°I¡¯m okay.¡± My mother rarely stood watching me climb the carriage. In the dim night air, my mother¡¯s amber eyes were trembling with anxiety. ¡°Be careful, Melissa¡­¡­. You said Tobias couldn¡¯t come, didn¡¯t you?¡± My mother referred Toby, with whom she had yet to meet, in a friendly way as if she were calling her son-in-law. I answered with a light smile, ¡°Yes, exams are important.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°It¡¯s okay, mom. The Victory Ceremony is the biggest royal event.¡± ¡°¡­¡­Yes, there are many eyes to see, so even that suspicious man is not a big deal.¡± Literally that is the case. The Victory Ceremony is the last royal event of the social season this year. It is clear that the ball that will decorate the grand finale will attract a great crowd. It wouldn¡¯t be a good environment for Mr. Stalker to be active. Me being introverted, I tend to struggle with crowded places, but I wasn¡¯t very worried because today Viola was there. Moreover, today was the day that Viola¡¯s lover, Jacob, was to be introduced. So, for today alone, there will be no need to look like a shabby loner, stand alone in a corner and glance at the venue over people¡¯s shoulders. ¡°Melissa!¡± ¡°Yes, mom.¡± ¡°You have to be careful, really¡­¡± In fact, I¡¯ve been thinking about one thing all along. Since today¡¯s ball is the royal event, Mr. Leopold and his only successor¡­¡­ ¡°Don¡¯t worry.¡± I¡¯ll surely attend. ¡°¡­I¡¯ll be late at this rate, mom. I¡¯ll leave now.¡± After the carriage door was closed, complete silence came. The numb sensation, which began deep inside the stomach, spread slowly all over my body. It won¡¯t be simply because the corset is too tight. I stretched out my legs, trembling with tension. I couldn¡¯t put any force on my toes. ¡°Whoo¡­¡± Since the carriage has just begun to run, it would take at least forty minutes to reach the National Theater where the ball was held. But my poor heart was already beating like it was going to explode. As if it was about to come out of my mouth at any moment, I quickly bit my lips. Then, with my trembling hand, I touched my chest silently. It wasn¡¯t just the beating of the heart that was transmitted through the palm of my hand. A thin yet clear sense of foreign thing felt from the inside of the clothes with a rustling sound. No matter how much I think about it, I must have been possessed by something for a while. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Why did I bring this? * * * The front of the theater was already crowded with people and carriages. As if the night had slipped away, the scenery with bright lights everywhere was spectacular. ¡°Mel!¡± Getting off the carriage with the coachman¡¯s escort, I looked around awkwardly. I¡¯m sure I heard my name¡­¡­. ¡°Melissa!¡± As I turned my head toward the voice, I saw Viola standing on one side of the majestic outer wall. Waving her hands continuously next to a bulky man ¡­¡­That¡¯s Jacob. ¡°I was waiting for you to come in with me!¡± Jacob hurriedly approached behind Viola, who cheerfully crossed her arms (with him). ¡°Miss Collins?¡± ¡°¡­ Oh, hello. You¡¯re¡­.¡± ¡°I¡¯m Jacob Brickhouse. I¡¯ve heard a lot.¡± Jacob was a gentleman with a distinct impression and beautiful sun-tanned skin. He was dressed neatly in a dark blue coat that looked pricey at first glance, and his curly dark brown hair was neatly tied back and hung down. ¡°You¡¯re from Piccom, right? Even if you¡¯re in Florin at this late hour¡­¡­.¡± Even before I finished talking, Viola suddenly opened her mouth. ¡°It¡¯s okay! He is going to sleep at my house today.¡± Viola, who wrapped Jacob¡¯s forearm with the rest of her arms, leaned against him and added, ¡°Of course, we are going to use separate rooms.¡± Isn¡¯t that obvious¡­. (T/N: it¡¯s obvious what will happen ahem) Thinking so, I suddenly noticed that Viola¡¯s voice was thinner and quaint than usual. This is the voice in front of a lover. Well, it¡¯s natural that you want to look good to someone you like. It would be natural to pay attention to even the smallest things. Come to think of it, how was I when I talked to Tobias? I don¡¯t think I¡¯ve even refined my voice. Although we¡¯re not even lovers in the first place. But I¡¯m willing to stop daydreaming if he can be my resting place. I just don¡¯t like it because it seems to be closer to use than dating. ¡°Jake, do you like my hair today?¡± ¡°There¡¯s never been a time when muffins weren¡¯t pretty.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± The air between Viola and Jacob, their eyes shining towards each other, was simply unfamiliar. Even the breath they exhale seems to twinkle like stars. But at the same time, I suddenly realised how miraculous it is for two people to fall in love together. Unsurprisingly, that is. No wonder, I¡¯ve never seen Viola like this before. Although she was always bright and cheerful, I have never seen her look this full and relaxed. I don¡¯t know if it¡¯s right to express it like this, but she finally seems to be complete. I¡¯m just speculating, wondering if this is what people say is the power of love. Of course, I didn¡¯t feel particularly envious. For me, love between opposite sexes was such a distant and blurry feeling that I had never hoped for in my life.¡­. ¡°Let¡¯s go in!¡± Viola, who held Jacob¡¯s hands tightly in both hands, took the lead, exclaiming excitedly. Her lover and I were reluctantly dragged and smiled as if we couldn¡¯t stop her. * * * Viola held my hands tightly and cried. ¡°Sorry, Mel¡­¡­.¡± ¡°It¡¯s okay.¡± The two pairs of opera gloves met and made a soft sound. Of course my gloves are old and not as fine as Viola¡¯s satin gloves. ¡°Do you think I don¡¯t take the hint that you are going to dance with Mr. Brickhouse?¡± ¡°There are so many people here, but I¡¯m afraid to leave you alone¡­¡­.¡± You said it¡¯s hell without me. Viola added in a gloomy tone. It wasn¡¯t that I didn¡¯t know the psychology of Viola. She¡¯s with her lover, but she¡¯s bothered because I was alone. It¡¯s the first time that three people, not two, have come to a party since our social debut. ¡°It¡¯s not even something to dance for an hour. It¡¯s really okay, so go.¡± I pushed her back. I didn¡¯t forget to wave my hand to Viola, who glanced back at me as she walked away from the center of the venue. It wasn¡¯t like me, but I wanted to reassure her as much as possible. I¡¯m really okay, so I didn¡¯t want her time with her lover to be disturbed by useless worries. It was not until the two completely disappeared into young men and women who stepped up. Stretching out their arms. I was going to go to the tea room and drink. It¡¯s a little bitter, but it¡¯s true that without Viola or Tobias, there aren¡¯t enough people to even say hello to. Anyways, where is Alan Leopold? It was strange but regrettable that I couldn¡¯t see the person who had troubled my heart the whole time I came here. Well, it¡¯s natural that I can¡¯t find him at once because there are so many people. Even on the way to the tea room, my shoulders constantly bumped with someone else¡¯s. Nevertheless, it was somehow useless. Right at that moment. My wrist was caught roughly by someone. ¡°Ah¡­..!¡± I was literally dragged away. He was holding my wrist tightly in his clasped hand, and frantically rushed through the crowd. It was too much to chase his stride. I felt like I was about to step on the hem of my dress. Eventually, I raised my head in a flash with a scream. ¡°Excuse me! I¡­¡­!¡± I couldn¡¯t talk anymore and held my breath with my head down. ¡­¡­Why did I discover it now? That the man who was dragging me recklessly was tall, has broad shoulders, and black back of the head. ¡°¡­Alan?¡± I had no idea why he grabbed my wrist or where he was going to take me. It seemed as if the accident had come to halt. I was deeply relieved that he had not heard my voice, and I only gripped the hem of my dress tightly so as not to step on it. It was the terrace where he led me. My head was dizzy from the sudden cold wind. ¡°Sor¡­¡± And when he turned around toward me, my dizziness got a little worse. ¡°Sorry, Milady!¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Looking back, he had dark brown hair, not black hair, and although he was tall, his posture was bent. ¡°I thought you were the woman I was looking for..¡­.¡± Above all, he did not have perfect skin texture like wax or blue-gray eyes as clean as ice. What the hell am I¡­ How could I mistake this person for Alan? ¡°I guess I didn¡¯t see it properly because I was too excited. I don¡¯t know how I should apologise¡­¡­.¡± I don¡¯t know what the story was, but the man¡¯s face was flushed. Is this also because of love? No wonder why I calmed down. I wasn¡¯t particularly angry. My wrist throbbed a bit, and the hem of my dress was stepped on about a couple of times and it became dirty. Well, it¡¯s not even a new dress. ¡°It¡¯s okay. I think you¡¯re in a hurry. Please go in.¡± ¡°I¡­¡± Then, the man touched the back of his head and opened his mouth. ¡°If you don¡¯t mind, can I know your name?¡± ¡°¡­..What?¡± My eyes widened at his words. This is definitely when a man and a woman express their feelings for each other¡­¡­ But didn¡¯t he say there¡¯s a woman he is looking for? ¡°I, I don¡¯t mean anything else. Just¡­..It looks like you stepped on the hem of your clothes because of me, so please I want to make up for it¡­.¡± Ha. I scorned myself in a small way. It¡¯s not even funny, Melissa. ¡°Oh, my name is Malcolm Longhorn.¡± ¡°¡­¡­ It¡¯s a humble dress. Thank you for your words, but it¡¯s okay.¡± I expressed a polite rejection. I thought that being with this person continuously would harm my face. However, Mr. Longhorn simply did not back down. And I often feel tired of dealing with people with strong persistence. ¡°¡­. I¡¯m Melissa Collins.¡± ¡°Collins, Young lady.¡± As if a little calmed down, the man calmly gave courtesy. ¡°I¡¯m so sorry. If I have a chance, I will make up for today¡¯s rude behavior.¡± It was not until he returned to the venue that I could rub my stiff wrist and sigh lightly. It¡¯s been a while since I went out and experienced such an absurd thing. When I left the house, the words of hardship came to mind. I wonder if it¡¯s still dance time. If it was over, Viola would be looking for me. With that thought, I quietly turned around. If the dance wasn¡¯t over yet, I could rest a little in the tea room. By the way¡­¡­ Unbelievably, Alan was standing in front of me. I rubbed my eyes in shock. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡­¡­No way. It¡¯s really Alan Leopold. But how can he hold my envelope in his hand¡­? My mind went blank, and I fumbled around my dress. I definitely put it in here¡­¡­. It¡¯s not there! ¡°Oh, how¡­¡­.¡± ¡°A woman in a red dress dropped this.¡± I glanced down at the hem of the old dress with bewildered eyes. Even in the dark, my dress was a blazing bright red. My legs relaxed as if I had lost all hope. Alan, who had a colder face than the moon, asked, shaking the envelope lightly. ¡°Was it you who wrote this letter?¡± *** T/N: THE SECOND HAND EMBARRASSMENT,,,,,I CAN¡¯T, LET ME DIE INSTEAD OF HER,, I CAN¡¯T!!! Comments from Korean readers: Crazy¡­ I had an illusion that I was in the ballroom, too ?? But whenever Alan comes out, my tension is crazy. Writer, I have to wake up in three hours. What are you going to do about this? Hik, hik I¡¯m so embarrassed ?????? Argh ????? I hope it goes well. Not a couple but It¡¯s going to be a dark past. Rest in peace Mel¡­. Chapter 11 Chapter 11: A Heavy Night The envelope that should have been in my arms was gently swaying between Alan¡¯s long fingers. ¡°Was it you who wrote this letter?¡± In an instant, a gust of wind blew, revealing his one side of forehead gently. ¡°That¡¯s¡­!¡± I was speechless by the picturesque sight. ¡°I guess it¡¯s right based on the reaction.¡± I felt like my face was going to explode. My gaze, which had fallen to the ground in despair, shook helplessly. A thin cold sweat was seeping out of my back. At that moment, a cool voice sank in my ear. ¡°Dear Sir Alan Leopold.¡± ¡°¡­¡­!¡± His transparent eyes were sweeping over my envelope. My heart trembled as if it would break through my ribcage. I was in pain because my chest tightened up. ¡°Dear.¡± ¡­¡­This was close to torture. ¡°Did we have a relationship where we could use the words of friendship?¡± ¡°That¡¯s conventional¡­¡­!¡± ¡°I don¡¯t think we¡¯re in a relationship to say that even in a conventional way.¡± As he twirled the envelope between his fingers, I saw a red seal. It was unopened. He hasn¡¯t read the letter yet.¡­! An uncontrollable sense of relief flooded in. I even felt saved. Truly, without a little bit of exaggeration. ¡°¡­¡­ Please return it.¡± I managed to speak out. But to no avail, my lips couldn¡¯t form any more words. ¡°Didn¡¯t you write it to me? I¡¯ve never heard of anyone with the same name as me.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± My mind went blank. His uninspiring voice is so noble. ¡°It would be harsh to throw it away.¡± Alan put the envelope in his arms with a neat move. Unconsciously I was biting my lips painfully. I have to stop him. I have to get it back. There was no such thing as a way to stop him from the beginning. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± When he lowered his eyelids coldly, his eyelashes cast under the eyelids created a subtle shadow. I couldn¡¯t take my eyes off that flawless face. At that time, incredible new words flowed out of his soft lips. ¡°Will you grant me the honor of dancing with you, Milady?¡± I froze on the spot. ¡°¡­..What?¡± I had no choice but to doubt my ears. If I didn¡¯t hear it wrong, he was formally recommending me to dance now. It is a socialite rule that if a man asks for a dance, you cannot refuse. But that¡¯s not the problem¡­¡­ ¡°Dancing¡­.. Aren¡¯t you going to do it?¡± (Alan) ¡°It¡¯s not because I don¡¯t know how to dance.¡± (Mel) (T/N: it¡¯s because she didn¡¯t want to dance with him) ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Alan¡¯s answer only made my lips twitch. I had to come up with the possibility that all of this was a dream. ¡°Because someone asked me to dance with the lady who dropped this letter.¡± ¡°What? That¡¯s¡­¡± I was thinking about the best way to answer, but he added with a slight wrinkle in the forehead. ¡°And the person who picked it up happened to be the Prince¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°So, can I have this favour?¡± * * * Holding Alan¡¯s hand and walking into the middle of the ballroom, the path felt like a road leading to the edge of a cliff. My legs trembled like a person who decided to jump down a sheer cliff, and I didn¡¯t even know if I was holding his hand because all the senses disappeared the moment I touched him. To be honest, it¡¯s not that I can¡¯t dance. Although a little clumsy, objectively, it was not at a level that lacked much. Because it¡¯s a social etiquette that I learned from a strict tutor. Nevertheless, my head was full of thoughts about what if I made a mistake in dancing and what if I hurt him. It felt like my complicated head was about to explode at any moment. However, when the dance began, I had no time to think about anything. It felt as if a butterfly was fluttering in my stomach. Even walking on water wouldn¡¯t be as dreamy as this. He sometimes pulled me, and I sometimes turned around. Our hands and eyes met several times, and sometimes I leaned against him. It was frighteningly ecstatic, and painful as if it would take my breath away. Surprisingly, the whole process seemed to be fleeting. As soon as I let go of his hand, the warmth gradually disappeared, so I just wanted to sit down and cry. Like a lost child. ¡°¡­.Goodbye.¡± At the end of the dance song, he bowed lightly and disappeared into the people without looking back. ¡°Mel!¡± It was Viola¡¯s voice that brought me back to reality, who was standing in daze. ¡°Melissa!¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Only then did I feel the explicit gazes and whispers toward me clearly. Whenever there were social events, I was invisible. I was nothing more than an intangible being floating in the air and breathing quietly. Funny enough, it was the moment when I finally got into shape in society here because I became Alan Leopold¡¯s dance partner. Then is he my creator? ¡°Mel, what happened?¡± Viola, who pulled me up from the deep thought, urgently asked. Her voice was firm, and her hazel eyes showed little concern. ¡°Did Sir Alan ask you to dance?¡± As we frantically moved to a place where no eyes could follow, we were all near the main gate of the National Theater. ¡°What happened, huh?¡± ¡°I¡­¡± I couldn¡¯t remove my lips as if I had forgotten how to speak. That.¡­ Everything is just¡­¡­ It¡¯s so¡­ ¡°It¡¯s okay, Mel. Tell me.¡± Viola comforted me by signalling at Jacob. Her sensible lover kept a reasonable distance with an awkward gait. ¡°¡­¡­ I had mistakenly brought that letter to Sir Alan.¡± ¡°What? Here?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Did you really mean to tell me that?¡± Viola had surprised eyes. She was surprised when I said I wrote a letter, so it¡¯s not easy to believe that I brought it to the Victory Ceremony. ¡°It¡¯s not the case¡­¡­.¡± It was the same for me. ¡°I brought it without realising it. I didn¡¯t know until I got on the carriage.¡­.¡± ¡°Melissa¡­¡± ¡°I think I dropped it at some point¡­¡­ Sir Alan¡­¡­.¡± For an instant, Viola¡¯s mouth opened wide. ¡°Did he pick it up? Oh, my god. ¡° ¡°His Highness picked it up¡­¡­ I think he delivered it to Sir Alan.¡­.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± When I added it, she stopped breathing as if she had lost what to say. It was a natural reaction because it¡¯s not realistic at all when I say it. ¡°He said, a lady in a red dress dropped it and he handed it to her.¡± ¡°¡­ Huh.¡± ¡°I felt like His Highness made him dance. By force¡­¡­.¡± ¡°What? Even if Sir Alan is close to the royal family¡­¡­!¡± Viola looked around quickly and continued to speak low. ¡°So, are you saying that the prince was joking around?¡± ¡°Probably. Sir Alan looked upset too.¡­.¡± ¡°Oh my god, it¡¯s the worst!¡± Her thin golden eyebrows were distorted. ¡°Did he ask you two to have fun? Is it okay for him to be called a prince?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°No, even if sir Alan says so. But Melissa you¡­¡­!¡± At that very moment, an unfamiliar voice intervened. ¡°Ahem, milady.¡± In the place where I turned my head, three gorgeously dressed women stood looking at me. It wasn¡¯t a look of kindness. Obviously, one of them is the one who danced close to me. She was wearing a similar colored dress like mine, so I didn¡¯t notice her. Of course, it was a dress that was incomparable to mine. ¡°You danced with Sir Alan, right?¡± ¡°Ah¡­¡± I sighed briefly. This was the first thing that came to mind when they called me, but the most I didn¡¯t want. ¡°How did you persuade him? Did you make a wish? Or¡ª¡± ¡°Hey!¡± Viola blocked me. She was half a span smaller than me, but twice stronger and harder from inside. ¡°Wish? It was officially requested by Sir Alan.¡± ¡°I didn¡¯t ask you. I am asking the lady in red rags next to you.¡± ¡°Rags?¡± ¡°¡­Viola, that¡¯s enough.¡± I shook my head, covering the arms of the furious Viola. She was brave, and I was realistic. This balance was also the secret to our long friendship. ¡°If you are honest, tell me, lady. Was it all planned to come to the National Theater in such a scruffy outfit?¡± ¡°You need to look fresh in the eyes of the Leopold family successor. How can he refuse when you¡¯re wearing that while getting unguarded?¡± ¡°You did a good job on your hair.¡± The three women burst into laughter at the same time. I couldn¡¯t confront or show my anger, and I looked down silently. My fingertips trembled. Like wandering bare-mindedly on a cold winter night. ¡°Be careful with what you say. My friend is a victim!¡± Viola snarled beside my shoulder while the women only snorted. Looking at these uneducated and low-tempered people, it¡¯s not difficult to guess the source of their pride. They¡¯re three, and we¡¯re two. At best, it was obvious that it was such a simple reason. ¡°Ha, the victim is Sir Alan. Don¡¯t you think we wanted to hang around him?¡± ¡°So, apparently you haven¡¯t heard of Sir Alan¡¯s lover, have you?¡± Do you even have morals? Even the rest of the woman muttered. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± I was just amazed. This reality is that a woman like me in old clothes seems to be the only one to beg him for a dance request. It is true that my family is humble. However, I knew he had a lover, I wasn¡¯t ignorant enough to openly flirt. But even if I had ten mouths, I had nothing to say. Because I delivered a letter containing my desperate heart to Alan. Even if it wasn¡¯t my intention, it was all my fault as I got into the carriage with the letter. There¡¯s no room for excuses.. ¡°Apologise to Melissa right now!¡± At that time, Viola raised her voice. ¡°Aren¡¯t you ashamed of acting like this?¡± ¡°The person you should be ashamed of is your friend, lady. To annoy the kingdom¡¯s key figures in a vulgar way. How low.¡± ¡°Ha! If you don¡¯t apologise right away, I will pour champagne! I warned you!¡± ¡°Viola¡­¡± Trying to stop them with a mosquito-only voice, but then I stopped at the loud voice I heard. ¡°Ladies.¡± It was Jacob. ¡°The night is beautiful, so please save your voice. It¡¯s a night that¡¯s not enough to sing beautiful songs.¡± ¡°Oh, my. Who¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I am the escort of these two ladies.¡± Jacob naturally sent the women back. Gentle and skillful. It was unbelievable that he was only a year older. I blushed with shame that he was listening to all these conversations, Viola¡¯s blushed because he caught her in a foolish fight. ¡°I think you¡¯ve enjoyed it enough. Shall we go back now?¡± It seemed good to follow him. I couldn¡¯t go back to the venue again, because the two didn¡¯t want a new dance partner other than each other. With Viola and Jacob seeing me off, I managed to get on the carriage, but my body didn¡¯t have any strength at all. Before I even knew it I was crying sadly. Even when I arrived home, I couldn¡¯t stop sobbing. Even though the bedtime had passed, my mother ran out as soon as she heard the sound of the carriage. I fell into her arms and I wept as if I had been waiting. It was a heavy night. *** Comments from Korean readers: It¡¯s a harsh day for Melissa. Like riding a roller coaster¡­?? Why does it hurt so much that I cried sadly? It¡¯s such a tough night. ??????? The prince picked up that letter???? I don¡¯t know if the stalker picked it up secretly¡­ Huh? This novel is chilling.? It¡¯s embarrassing to read her own letter, but he took it. And people who don¡¯t know anyone would pick a fight. Of course, I¡¯ll cry. ??Melissa?? It¡¯s¡­. very hard¡­..Mel. Peace was never an option ladies¡­ Fanart: Chapter 12 Chapter 12: The Gap Between You and Me ¡°So that¡¯s what happened.¡± Stirring a large pot with a ladle, Mrs. Kearney muttered. I was sitting at the table wiping a few silverwares with a cloth. ¡°I can¡¯t believe Alan Leopold asked you for a dance. That¡¯s a big deal.¡± ¡°I told you, Mrs. Kerney. It wasn¡¯t from the heart .¡­.¡± I murmured with swollen eyes. When I burst into tears in my bewildered mother¡¯s arms, I thought there were no more tears left to shed, but when I woke up in the morning, my pillowcase was damp. It was amazing that I didn¡¯t faint from dehydration. Then Mrs. Kearney turned around and looked at me with her hands on her waist. ¡°Melissa, he¡¯s not your lover. Isn¡¯t it natural that it wasn¡¯t sincere?¡± ¡°¡­..That¡¯s true, but¡­¡­.¡± ¡°He¡¯s maybe a person who was even knighted by the royal family. But no matter how great his family is, isn¡¯t he just a teenager? So what if he has a handsome face?¡± Madame was clearly speaking in a gentle tone. She didn¡¯t say anything wrong. But somehow my heart was stuffy. ¡°Isn¡¯t it a pleasant experience that a person who can be called everyone¡¯s lover requested a dance? It will always be a topic of discussion.¡± ¡°¡­After the dance, I drew so much attention¡­¡­. Women even came and insulted me, ma¡¯am.¡± Without realizing it, a very suppressed voice came out. There is no end to human greed. When we danced, it was definitely ecstatic like a dream, but seeing Alan turning around coldly, I resented him for giving me the chance to dance. He rescued me from hell, and when I reached the highest and most splendid heights of heaven, he pushed my back. The hell where I was thrown, was upside down, and was much harsher than when I first set foot there. Alan couldn¡¯t have hoped that I would shed painful tears. Precisely, there¡¯s no way he would have hoped for anything in particular. I have no value to him. I¡¯m not stupid enough to not even know that much. ¡°Melissa, you know it¡¯s just envy because you had a good time. There¡¯s nothing to care about because they are just jealous of you.¡± ¡°But madam, it was so miserable¡­. I¡¯ve never been ashamed of my dress and gloves because they¡¯re a little worn out.¡­.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°After following him and peeping into heaven, I became ashamed of everything.¡­.¡± Alan made me know my position and the gap between him and me in the most miserable way. Could it be that the first human being who ate the forbidden fruit and came to know the hidden truth of things and the evil in the world had this kind of feeling? Madam came and sat next to me before. A rough but warm hand was placed on my shoulder. ¡°Things that are only gorgeous at apparence lack substance, what they have inside are not worthy of you, Mel. They won¡¯t know how delicate and shiny your soul is.¡± ¡°Thank you for your words, madam. But¡­.¡± Clatter, I let go of the silverware, Mrs. Kearney held my trembling hand tightly. Wouldn¡¯t it be okay to tell her everything now? ¡°The worst thing is¡­¡­is that he took my letter¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Letter? Did you write a letter to him? Do you have feelings for Sir Alan?¡± Ah, this¡­..As I met the madam¡¯s wide-open eyes, I hurriedly pretended like nothing happened. ¡°It¡¯s not like that, it¡¯s just¡­¡­ He inspired me to write a poem.¡± ¡°Yes, since you bought a new poetry book, there must have been a lot of new ideas.¡± ¡°But¡­ You may not believe it, but I took it to the theatre yesterday without realizing it. It¡¯s been a while since I wrote it, and I didn¡¯t mean to deliver it.¡­.¡± As if to keep talking, madam set down with an all knowing face. When telling a deep story, the madam seems to be a good opponent because she has more leeway than my mother . ¡°It¡­ got into his hand. His name was written on the envelope¡¯s surface, and I know I¡¯m the one who dropped it¡­¡­.¡± As I spoke, I felt hopeless that I had no choice but to bury my head in both hands. At that time, I heard Madame Kerney¡¯s friendly voice, ¡°He got a poem for himself as a gift, right? Anyone would be happy with such a great gift.¡± It wasn¡¯t very comforting. ¡°¡­What I wrote is a poem, but¡­¡­ I¡¯m sure he thinks it¡¯s a love letter.¡­.¡± ¡°What? What is it about? Tell me.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t remember exactly either. I sealed it as soon as I wrote it. But I¡¯m sure¡­¡­.¡± Because I wrote a love letter to him as a poem. I love Alan Leopold, madam. ¡­¡­But I don¡¯t know anymore. He¡¯s hurting me so much. Maybe the days when I peekee at him over my shoulder were actually happier¡­¡­ ¡°It¡¯s okay, Mel. I have a feeling he will like your poems.¡± ¡°¡­¡­That comfort doesn¡¯t mean anything, madam. He¡¯ll despise me. You should have seen how he looked when he asked me for a dance.¡± ¡°Melissa¡­¡± Mrs. Kerney looked at me pitifully. You¡¯ve already found out that I have a crush on Alan. ¡°Then, I pray that Sir Alan will never read your letter.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°He might not have read it yet, right? Because there won¡¯t be one or two women who hand him letters. If I were young, I might have written a letter to him.¡± The madam¡¯s words made sense. The problem was me. Just imagining his icy gaze reading down the words one by one gives me goosebumps all over my body. To the point where I was anxious enough that I¡¯d rather die. Nevertheless, if I think that Alan doesn¡¯t read my letter and throws it away¡­¡­ I feel like my heart is breaking. It feels like I want to cling onto him while crying and begging for him to not do such a cruel thing. What¡¯s wrong with me? In front of love, I am so helpless that I fall apart. Alan Leopold, do you also have a soft face when you think of your beloved? My head was blank and dizzy as if I had been trapped in a thick smoke. I needed oxygen. At that time, I naturally thought of Tobias Miller. Then he could heal me. He is not insensitive enough to trample on my heart at will. There is no way he would judge my soft heart with a cynical gaze. Of course, Toby was not comparable to the sun. So, he won¡¯t be able to completely melt my frozen heart because of Alan. But he is definitely a gentle spring sun. So at least he will be able to reap the hazy cold energy that lingers in me. When the cold is gone, a drop or two of my anxiety will melt from the frozen surface. He will comfort me with his gentle smile as always, and he will be happy to lend me his shoulder so that I can rest. * * * The weather turned quite cold. Mother, Mrs. Kerney and Julia all spoke out saying that when they compare to the fall of the previous year, this is just like winter. Is it because my heart is frozen? I didn¡¯t even know it was that cold. But I wasn¡¯t sure that Tobias would be like me, so I sat down at an indoor table rather than the terrace. The interior of the Antris coffee shop was warm. Perhaps thanks to the interior, it felt more cozy. People were leisurely sipping tea or alcohol making moderate noise. I was the only one who didn¡¯t feel comfortable here. The moment I wondered if I might look like a paranoid person, looking around over and over again to see if the red-haired man was standing around secretly, someone called me. ¡°Excuse me¡­¡± It wasn¡¯t Tobias because it was a female voice. I looked back in surprise. ¡°Ms. Melissa Collins, right?¡± The two women were looking down at me with elegant faces. The person who talked to me was the daughter of Mr. Farrington, one of Florin¡¯s wealthy men. ¡°You danced with Sir Alan at the last victory ball.¡± ¡°Ah¡­ Yes.¡± I had forgotten that I was no longer a socially invisible person. Of course, this sudden popularity was not welcomed. I swear I never asked for something like this. At least it¡¯s fortunate that they are not as aggressive as the women who picked a fight with me at the ball. ¡°¡­¡­If you don¡¯t mind, can I ask what kind of relationship milady and sir Leopold have?¡± ¡°Of course, on the lord¡¯s side.¡±[1] The woman next to me urged me to add, but I hesitated to answer. It would be more accurate to say that I have nothing to answer. Nevertheless, it was strange that the current situation made me feel subtle pride. I can¡¯t believe the noble upper-class girls are wondering with an anxious face what kind of secret words and glances were exchanged between me and Alan. ¡°If it¡¯s hard to answer, just tell me you¡¯re not in a relationship with him.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Because I love him¡­¡­.¡± Miss Farrington¡¯s lips were trembling. It was pitiful, but I wasn¡¯t shaken. You¡¯re not the only one who is biting your lips while thinking of Alan. Isn¡¯t he everyone¡¯s lover? Because of that, the reason for heartache is the same for the brown-haired lady in rags and the noble young love of wealthy people. It was when I was staring blankly at the woman¡¯s expensive-looking headdress with that thought, ¡°Miss Melissa.¡± I heard a gentle voice calling me. ¡°Toby!¡± ¡°These people¡­¡± In his dark green frock coat, he looked just like a large plant. His cheeks were red, perhaps because it was very cold outside. ¡°Are you meeting acquaintances today?¡± ¡°No, it¡¯s not. I think they have something to ask me.¡­.¡± I wasn¡¯t in a position to introduce Toby because I didn¡¯t even know her name, let alone being an acquaintance of them. Seeing him standing awkwardly, I felt that I should send the two women back only then. ¡°Sir Alan and I have nothing to do with each other. That day was acci¡­dental.¡± ¡°Accidental? ¡°What do you mean by accident¡­.¡± Toby and Miss Farrington replied back to me at the same time. ¡°Miss Collins, please tell me in detail. If you really don¡¯t have anything to do with him¡­¡­. It¡¯s important to me¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I¡¯m sorry, but I have nothing more to say, Miss Farrington, he doesn¡¯t even know my name. Can it be explained with this?¡± ¡°But how could he¡­¡­.¡± ¡°You won¡¯t have anything to worry about. I have a lot to talk about with my friend, so I¡¯d appreciate it if you could leave.¡± Miss Farrington and the woman next to her exchanged glances silently and then turned with a quiet bow. Tobias, whose shoulders were shaking as if trying to warm his body up, sat in front of me with a gentle smile. ¡°Melissa, I think you changed a little and there is a new atmosphere.¡± ¡°What? Me?¡± I blinked because I didn¡¯t know what he was thinking, whether I really looked different or if it was just a light greeting. I suddenly thought that I still lacked a lot of knowledge of this man. At that time, Toby smiled broadly, ¡°I think it¡¯s true that you have a lot of things you want to say.¡± *** [1] She means a relationship that is been acknowledged by Alan¡¯s side too, since many girls have delusional relationship with him lol just like the other girl Comments from Korean readers: Female lead seems to have so low self-esteem and a mental trauma to herself, even an extreme crush. It¡¯s a state of psychology that makes you crazy and unstable. I love the small daily conversations and short letters in this novel¡­.I really like them. Honestly, even if I were Namjoo, I would like Melissa ?? she¡¯s so lovely¡­.. Toby¡­ So sweet. Toby is the real one. On the other hand, I thought the writer is so good at expressing the confusion of not wanting to love herself and loving hi. or who else. She¡¯s jealous even though upset that these feelings may be frustrating and incomprehensible. I hope everyone with this heart, including the female character, will be happy. Thank you for the good writing, writer. Chapter 13 - New Ditch Chapter 13: New Ditch Even though I have known Toby for a while I told him everything that happened at the last ball. His kindness has always put me at ease. He was a good talker. Much more than my mother who gives endless sermons about marriage or Mrs. Kerney, with whom I have a generational difference barrier. Of course, he can¡¯t be compared to my best friend, but the conversation with Toby was special. Viola and I are both eager to share our stories so we often need to balance the time between us, and if only one shares the other doesn¡¯t have time to tell her story and can only listen, whereas Toby always saved his words so that I could talk more. Thanks to him, I knew for the first time that telling my story was this much fun. I am also familiar with listening rather than speaking, but he was a much more skillful listener than me. When I am with Tobias, I feel at ease and talk so much that in retrospect I am surprised by how much I was able to talk. And today was the same. I finished talking when half of the coffee was completely cooled down. ¡°¡­..That¡¯s it.¡± I couldn¡¯t help but be surprised when I lifted my powerless gaze that was fixed on the milky white teacup. This is because Tobias had a dark face that he had never shown before. ¡°Toby, are you upset?¡± After a moment¡¯s hesitation, he answered silently. ¡°Yes, Miss Melissa.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I¡¯m upset.¡± We were closer to friends than lovers. I know Tobias Miller is a good person, but I don¡¯t feel any love towards him. But this is only my own point of view. The fact is, that everyone¡¯s lover, Sir Alan, asked me to dance, and nobody else. I can¡¯t help but worry about him that I, who used to be so ordinary with just one thing, has become one of the hottest topics lately. Even for me, it¡¯s difficult to just talk about my affection for Alan because of my insecurities. How much must it be for Toby who has to hear the object of his affection talk about her infatuation with someone else? Why didn¡¯t it occur to me how it would make Toby feel before she started talking? Moreover, didn¡¯t he even send me a love letter? While I was belatedly mulling over actions I could not take back with a complicated mind, Toby broke the silence ¡°It¡¯s so painful to think about what Miss Melissa may have gone through.¡± ¡°¡­¡­Toby..¡­¡± At his words, I came to my senses as if I had fallen into an ice lake. Toby¡¯s upset feelings were not because of his disparity with Alan, or about gossip going around about me and Alan. He was agitated purely by the story of those women who insulted me. ¡°Aren¡¯t you surprised? Alan Leopold asked me to dance at the Victory Ball.¡­? The ladies earlier¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Actually, I knew.¡± ¡°What?¡± I asked curiously. ¡°Even within the academy, there was a lot of talk. Even your name¡­¡­¡± ¡°Even my name¡­¡­?¡± ¡°Of course, when I first heard it, I doubted my ears. Then I received Ms. Melissa¡¯s letter and I assumed you wanted to talk about it. So I thought I should listen to it.¡­.¡± At that time, Toby added, touching his eyebrows with an awkward face. ¡°I was happy to hear¡­..when you said you¡¯ve never missed me this much¡± ¡°Toby, aren¡¯t you jealous of him?¡± ¡­¡­Oops, I said it. I was embarrassed even after saying it out loud on my own, so I was looking for something to fix it, but he spoke with a very casual face. ¡°I¡¯m not jealous. Because I respect him.¡± ¡°¡­.. Respect?¡± Somehow, I became contemplative when he was humbly admitting his admiration for Alan saying that he respects such an unsocial and cold man who was born into a great family and is six years younger than him. There were many people who idolized Alan, but there were also a lot of people who envied and disparaged him. ¡°I told you that I am learning trade.¡± ¡°Yes, I remember.¡± ¡°The Leopold family has announced that they will sponsor trade majors. I think they¡¯ll be accepting the applicants sometime next year.¡± This was news to me, since I wasn¡¯t a student at the academy. ¡°If I get selected, I will be able to develop my capabilities by directly helping Leopold¡¯s business.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I want to be selected. There is nothing more fascinating than interacting with the world beyond the sea.¡± He seemed to have a firmer direction than expected. He is trying to be a businessman and not succeeding his father. I thought Tobias would be a really good pastor. ¡°So, Sir Alan Leopold is an example for people like me.¡± ¡°Ah¡­ I didn¡¯t know that.¡± I tried to tell him about my dream, but I quit. This was a separate matter from Toby listening to me. If I had to talk about a dream that was unlikely to come true, wouldn¡¯t it sound like I was complaining in vain? He will try to comfort me, and I will only recall the frustrations I have had over and over again. Of course, just complaining to him may give me some comfort. But now was not the time, when he was talking about his firm dream. ¡°I haven¡¯t heard that the three women insulted Miss Melissa.¡­. I¡¯m angry and annoyed.¡± ¡°There¡¯s nothing to be bothered about, Toby.¡± On the night I returned from the victory ball, or even after I returned, I shed tears. Still, when I think of the memory of that day, my heart stings. ¡°It¡¯s already in the past.¡± Nevertheless, I was proud of myself for being able to make up such a calm smile. After my clumsy and weak past life, of course, I still lack a lot, but I¡¯m definitely growing. ¡°But¡­The thing that annoys me the most is that I wasn¡¯t there to accompany you.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I want to be by your side, Miss Melissa, and protect you so that you won¡¯t be hurt in the future. May I?¡± His dark eyes shined desperately as he reached towards my hand. I was surprised even before his hand touched mine so he withdrew his hand ¡°It¡¯s winter soon, so there won¡¯t be an official event for the time being, but it would be an honor if I could escort you whenever I have a chance.¡± ¡°¡­..Yes.¡± How can I refuse this? Toby has neither an outstanding appearance nor an excellent background. But I didn¡¯t know. His shining sincerity, who always cares for me and cares for me, is so valuable that I may never be able to meet someone like him again in my lifetime. ¡°Spring, when the new social season begins, is still far away, so why don¡¯t we go somewhere together?¡± ¡°Somewhere¡­.¡± ¡°What about my hometown, New Ditch? I have my family there, so we don¡¯t have to prepare anything. I have a sister who is similar in age to Melissa, so it¡¯ll be fun.¡± Come to think of it, I was supposed to go to Piccom together with Viola, but it had faded. It was a welcoming suggestion because my heart was still depressed.. Even the stalker won¡¯t chase me outside the capital. And if it¡¯s New Ditch¡­¡­. ¡°Isn¡¯t it close to Solver?¡± ¡°You mean Solver? It¡¯s not that far away.¡­.¡± When I was happy, Tobias added as if he remembered. ¡°Ah, your father is stationed in Solver and you can get there by carriage quickly. I¡¯ll come with you.¡± ¡°I like it!¡± I was happy enough to clap my hands. A trip to New Ditch and Solver was already perfect. How many months has it been since I met my father? ¡°The flowers have fallen, and the autumn leaves are at an end, but New Ditch Lake is beautiful enough to make you forget words. Even in the middle of winter.¡± You¡¯ll love it. Toby added. The exact date was decided to be set by letter, but I was already excited as if I were floating in the air. Toby was more relaxed than ever since the exam was over and I am relaxed since the social season was also over. Melissa Collins will travel alone with a man. I can¡¯t believe I¡¯m going to meet his family! The more I think about it, the more surprising it is. Of course, he doesn¡¯t make her heart flutter, but it¡¯s true that I¡¯m feeling excited right now, isn¡¯t it? Even if it¡¯s more exhilarating than Tobi¡¯s sudden travel plans or the thought of meeting my father. However, on the one hand, after the New Ditch trip, I thought that my relationship with him would change in many ways. Viola said she was in a relationship because she was lonely. I wonder if I have deluded myself that I am not lonely but maybe that¡¯s the root of all my problems All human beings are imperfect, and are destined to live in constant proof of their existence. If it was Tobias who relieved this loneliness, it would certainly be cozy and comfortable. As I always think, love doesn¡¯t have to be as hot as a flame. Finally, when I think of the word love, I have reached a stage that reminds me of Tobias¡¯ face without difficulty. ¡°Famous food¡­¡­ There¡¯s one but it¡¯s nothing much actually.¡± ¡°What is it? I¡¯m curious.¡± We walked side by side along the streets of the capital, where the wind had cooled down. Tobias was on his way home. He said in a solemn way. ¡°You can¡¯t laugh.¡± ¡°Yes.¡± ¡°¡­..potatoes.¡± Toby, who said so, laughed bashfully. You told me not to laugh. Eventually, I followed him and burst into laughter. ¡°What¡¯s that? When in our kingdom are potatoes not popular?¡± ¡°When we go to New Ditch, I¡¯ll serve you a great potato dish, Miss Melissa. You¡¯ll be amazed.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Looking at that friendly smile, I suddenly realized. If Tobias Miller asks me to be his lover in New Ditch, I¡¯ll probably¡­¡­. ¡°Ack!¡± At that moment, an old woman covered in a black rag suddenly popped out in front of me, penetrated my front, and ran away quickly. Her wrinkled and skinny hands that groped my chest were horrifyingly unpleasant. ¡°What¡­¡­¡± It happened so quickly that I had no idea. Is she really an old woman? She was small and her back was bent, but how can she run so fast? ¡°Are you okay?!¡± ¡°I think so¡­¡­.¡± I hugged both my shoulders and nodded blankly. The stench from the old woman¡¯s body still remained at the tip of my nose. ¡°Seeing the trick, it seems like a habitual pickpocket. There are many people like that near the academy. The missing item¡­¡­.¡± ¡°¡­There¡¯s none, Toby. I guess she tried to snatch my necklace, but as you can see, I¡¯m not wearing it.¡± I smiled lightly, calming my surprised heart. Whenever something like this happens, it is unavoidable to feel that it would be good to live in a quiet countryside. Piccom or Solver¡­¡­. ¡­¡­New Ditch would be nice, too. As we talked about New Ditch¡¯s potatoes and the lake, I was in front of my house. It was only after confirming that he was turning around with a light greeting that I could enter the house with a smile on my lips. As I entered the house, my mom made me promise to invite Toby next time. How happy would she be to go to New Ditch with him? It was when I was taking off my dress with Julia¡¯s help, thinking that the dinner table would be harmonious after a long time. Something fell to the floor with the tapping sound. ¡°Huh? Miss, I think something fell.¡± ¡°What is it?¡± It was a small note. I had no idea why this was in my clothes. I unfolded the folded piece of paper with an apathetic face. It was only after I read the note that I dropped it back to the floor. *** Comments from Korean readers: But in reality, filming romance with a guy like Toby is a fantasy. ???? In reality, it¡¯s hard for a person like Toby to be as handsome as Alan, who has a good personality and will remain the same, so if I have to choose between the two, of course, Alan. The genre is thriller! Let¡¯s check the tags again. Toby, sorry. I¡¯m Allen. Cold handsome guy is thrilling ?? Something strange is also charming¡­Toby is a really good person too, I think I¡¯m rotten. ?? Scary¡­?? T/N: I loved the way how Korean readers still love Alan, it shows how rotten we are ???????? Chapter 14 - Let’s Hide It From Him Chapter 14: Let¡¯s Hide It From Him ¡°Is it a note, miss?¡± As Julia quickly leaned down, I was frightened and snatched the note. I just hope she didn¡¯t notice my trembling hands. ¡°¡­¡­No.¡± I tried hard to make an insignificant voice. ¡°It¡¯s just a piece of paper. It doesn¡¯t say anything. I¡¯ll throw it away.¡± ¡°Huh? it¡¯s nothing.¡± Julia pouted her lips, perhaps thinking this would be like a secret letter of love. Well, how painful must it be to suffer from housework every day at the age of eighteen. ¡°I¡¯ll do the rest, so you can go out now, Julia. They will need to help prepare dinner.¡± ¡°Yes, lady.¡± After leaving the room, I heard Julia walking down the stairs. Only then did my body, which had been released from tension, collapsed down as if it were sliding. My mother has not been feeling well recently due to chronic blood pressure problems. It¡¯s only a matter of time before Julia finds out and my mother finds out about it too, so I hid it for now, but the person who wrote it must be that red-haired man. I¡¯m sure, because of the circumstances. ¡°Haa¡­¡± I got goosebumps thinking that he had been near me again today. If he heard my conversation with Toby, it means he was very close.¡­. Did he catch up to me on the street while I was on my way home? No, if he left the note to a street beggar, it¡¯s highly likely that he was already watching everything from the coffee shop. Whatever it was, it was completely unbelievable. My hands trembled from fear. I couldn¡¯t even stand up and just sat on the floor with a devastated face. ¡°¡­What do you want from me?¡± It wouldn¡¯t be a trick to threaten me and steal my family¡¯s property. If he had watched me closely, he would have clearly seen how I dressed up. Unless he is blind. Then, does he really admire me? Well, I got a love letter from Tobias Miller, but it was definitely the first time in Melissa Collins¡¯ 20-year-old life. It¡¯s hard to comprehend. Another hypothesis is the probability that the unidentified man chasing me is a weirdo with a strange taste. For example, when he sees a mysterious woman with brown hair in an old dress, he follows her around¡­¡­. ¡°Some kind of pervert..¡­?¡± This third hypothesis was the most terrifying, but at the same time the most likely. That makes it even more terrifying and creepy. It¡¯s completely outside the scope of normal thinking. * * * ¡°Mel, this is not normal.¡± At my complaint, Viola clenched her fists and added in a low voice. ¡°As expected, I think it¡¯s right to quit the New Ditch trip.¡± ¡°But¡­¡± ¡°I want you to go, too. It¡¯s just that it¡¯s not now. What do you think that crazy stalker would actually do to you?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± I buried myself deeply on the sofa with mixed feelings. ¡°But, he could be just baffling.¡± ¡°No, no matter how much I think about it, You¡¯re going to regret it.¡­. Listen to me this time, Mel.¡± ¡°It could be just a joke, but maybe I am making it into a bigger deal then it is¡ª¡° ¡°¡­Melissa.¡± Viola said in an unusually stern voice. ¡°What are you going to do if it¡¯s not a joke?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°You, really¡­ you may get hurt if you ignore this. You can get in trouble if you do that.¡± Her determined words suddenly flooded me with shame. I was used to pretending to be rational with the fact that I was quiet. (TL/N: well, not being ¡®loud¡¯ or ¡®flashy¡¯ can make one appear more sensible whether they truly are or not.) To pretend not to be conscious of my timid personality¡ª this was part of my trivial daily life and couldn¡¯t easily come out in front of others. In fact, I had a more vulnerable and emotional inner self than anyone else. Even so, it¡¯s such an ungrateful attitude. I felt pathetic for myself. The fact that I was like an immature child and didn¡¯t want to see the seriousness of my situation and only saw my willingness to travel I don¡¯t know what the red-haired man¡¯s plan is, but in the worst case, the end may be my death. ¡°¡­¡­I should send a letter to postpone my trip.¡± ¡°Yes. You¡¯d better watch the situation for a while.¡± As I nodded helplessly, Viola¡¯s small hand grabbed my hand tightly. ¡°Cheer up. Since he¡¯s a stalker who suddenly stuck behind you, he might come off sooner than you think.¡± ¡°I really hope so¡­¡­.¡± If this had happened in my previous life, I would have reported it to the police right away. Stalking is definitely a crime. But unfortunately, in the Sourne Kingdom, the perception that stalking is considered as a bizarre act, nothing more or less. Sadly, most of the victims of stalking are women, and I can¡¯t help but get the impression that the current era with recent women¡¯s rights is fueling this situation. The point is, even if the culprit is known, it will only end with a light criticism and there will be no significant punishment. In other words, the victim has no other option but to hide in fear.¡­¡­. Of course, there is clearly an agency called the police. Even because this is Florin, the capital of the Kingdom. The problem is that they only move for a strictly influential family or person. It is unimaginable here that an individual asks the police for protection. Then when I thought about who I should be protected by, the first person that came to mind was not my mother, my guardian, or my father¡ªwho is far away.¡­¡­ It was Tobias Miller. ¡°You know, Viola.¡± However, I wasn¡¯t sure whether it would be better to tell him the reason for delaying this trip. ¡°Isn¡¯t it better to tell Tobias the truth? The reason for delaying travel.¡± ¡°Well¡­¡± Viola¡¯s forehead gradually narrowed. ¡°You and Mr. Miller haven¡¯t talked about the stalker since the day he saw someone near you, right?¡± ¡°Yes. Maybe he thinks it¡¯s a coincidence. He wouldn¡¯t imagine that he(Stalker) is repeatedly stalking me.¡± ¡°Then you¡¯d better not say it. I think he¡¯ll just worry for no reason. There is nothing he ought to do.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± I nodded my head slightly. I want to avoid making Toby worried for no reason. However, it was somehow uncomfortable to hide the situation after showing such expectations(for the trip). If he asks why, I¡¯ll have to make another excuse, then I¡¯ll have to lie. Then Viola added, ¡°It will be a relief if this blows over and the worst thing that happened is just our worries¡± ¡°What are you talking about?¡± ¡°The stalker might even harm him(Toby). If it is Mr. Miller, he will try to solve the problem, and if he gets caught in the eyes of that crazy stalker for no reason¡­¡­.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Viola must have sensed that the stalker was not an ordinary person. Seriously, it¡¯s not normal to borrow someone else¡¯s hand to send a note. At that time, Viola clapped her palms and said, ¡°Mel! Your stalker might be a gangster? Like the king of the back alley.¡± ¡°Well¡­¡± Viola seemed to have made such an inference when she heard that he had used the old woman to get to me. Hmm. It wasn¡¯t a bad hypothesis, but I shook my head. ¡°Mr. Greg and Toby said that he was dressed neatly and his hair looks like it¡¯s a mess.¡± ¡°So, he¡¯s not only just a beggar but actually the leader.¡± Viola muttered with a serious face. She nodded her head a couple of times, but my thoughts were different. ¡°No. She smelled like the streets, I would have known when he was hovering around me.¡± ¡°Smelled like the streets?¡± ¡°When the old woman came close, I thought my nose was falling because of the terrible smell.¡± When I remembered it again, I involuntarily frowned. She smelled like a hundred-year-old sewer.¡­. ¡°Viola, rather¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Rather?¡± It may be an absurd idea, but I continued with a strange conviction. ¡°I think he may be a wealthy man. If he is able to bribe people for something like this.¡± ¡°What is it that wealthy people lack to do this?¡± Viola crumpled her nose, putting the teacup down so that it could make a clattering sound. It was an expression that came out whenever she thought deeply. ¡°Only a person who lacks something or misses someone would commit such a depressing thing. Don¡¯t you think so?¡± ¡°Hmm¡­¡± Well, as one of them*, not everyone takes these crimes for granted just because they are lacking or deficient. [* She is referring to herself since she is also ¡®lacking¡¯] Since I am in that position, it does seem rather objectively or critically suspicious. Though it creates an illusion that it was another low-quality crime, but in real it was quite dangerous Suddenly, an old saying (quote) came to mind that one should be most wary of being trapped in the framework of thoughts. Perhaps the man is running around freely using people¡¯s perceptions as a shield. His real appearance might be rather straight and sane¡­.. ¡°By the way, Mel.¡± As I was sipping my tea while thinking, Viola spoke to me, ¡°I don¡¯t know when you will be able to go to New Ditch, but if you do, you will owe Mr. Miller, right?¡± (T/N: she¡¯s saying melissa will owe toby because she will travel and stay with his family) ¡°Yes.¡± ¡°You that¡­¡± Viola lowered her voice and looked into my eyes. ¡°Are you serious?¡± ¡°Oh.¡± But my heart was at peace. Because I knew what she was going to say, and I had already concluded. ¡°I think I¡¯ll get an official confession in New Ditch.¡± ¡°Oh, my god.¡± Viola covered her mouth. She had a face that seemed to be deeply moved. ¡°Are you thinking of accepting it?¡± ¡°Hmm¡­ I guess so?¡± ¡°Oh my god!¡± Viola, who slapped me on my arm, made a fuss. Pushing her slightly, I was rubbing my arms continuously and reflecting on whether my answer was awkward. I don¡¯t have experience in this field. ¡°Melissa, your face is so red!¡± ¡°It is not¡­¡± ¡°I can¡¯t believe you¡¯re dating! It¡¯s something I¡¯ve waited and wanted to witness for a long time, really.¡± Actually, I was surprisingly thinking the same as Viola. Isn¡¯t it funny that two 20-year-old girls talk about living together for a long time? ¡°Did you start liking him already?¡± ¡°Well¡­¡± I could clearly see what kind of answer the bright-eyed Viola wanted. ¡°¡­¡­He doesn¡¯t make my heart tremble. This is for sure.¡± Although I can¡¯t give her the answer she wants. ¡°But Tobias is a really good person. To the point where I realize every moment. He¡¯s not the one who makes me nervous, but he¡¯s the one who makes me relax.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I¡¯m sure of this, too.¡± Then Viola touched my hair with a strange expression and said, ¡°No matter how much I think about it, He is the person you need right now. ¡° ¡°Just like fruits ripen¡­¡­ If I cherish it like this, I may like it in the near future.¡± ¡°Did you engraved my words like that? It¡¯s a little touching¡± Viola, who began to braid my hair loosely, laughed slowly. Her voice was husky as always, but it sounded very comfortable. ¡°He¡¯s a really good person.¡­. to the point where it¡¯s too much.¡± ¡°He came to you because you¡¯re a good person, too, Mel.¡± * * * That evening, I wrote a letter to Toby. It was about wanting to postpone the trip a little bit because I caught a mild cold. I added that I still want to meet his family as soon as possible, and that I am unbearably curious about New Ditch¡¯s lake and potato dishes. Of course, I didn¡¯t write anything related to the stalker. *** Comments from Korean Readers: Ugh ??? I¡¯m worried. You don¡¯t even know who the stalker is, whether he is a man or a woman. ?? As expected, I thought the female Lead¡¯s thoughts and actions were weird, but she accepted she is lacking. As I read this, there are some touching moments that come into my mind.^^ As expected, the only thing I can think of is your writing skills. Wow, Toby is the best¡­ Alan, I don¡¯t like you, you¡¯re a jerk. It says stalker Alan in the introduction. So, I hope he¡¯s not the real male lead. No, it¡¯s in the introduction? Then, does the black haired like the main character, too? Well, it¡¯s the worst. ???? Chapter 15 - Principality of Lunoa Chapter 15: Principality of Lunoa It was an impulse to re-read the classic novel . It is so long and the atmosphere is so heavy that I couldn¡¯t even think of re-reading it. If I had to give a reason why I am reading it, I would answer that I am having a boring secluded life, and there were no books left to read except for this. Is it because I feel that the story of the female protagonist running away from a man is similar to the situation I am in now? The second time I read it was not as difficult to be immersed in as I¡¯d thought. ¡­¡­The difference is that the female protagonist falls in love with a man. However, no matter how many aspects love has, the love in is difficult to understand. Isn¡¯t this the same as falling in love with a crazy stalker? ¡°Literature is¡­¡± Anyway, the first time I read it, I read it in small portions, but it took me about a year. So no matter how much I concentrate on reading it again, it will take me a few weeks to complete it. This book is perfect for completely engrossing myself while forgetting time and circumstances. If there¡¯s one problem, it¡¯s that I¡¯ve only read dozens of pages and I¡¯m already in tears. ¡°Lady.¡± At that moment I heard Julia¡¯s voice outside the door. I quickly wiped away my tears and turned my head towards the door. ¡°A letter has arrived.¡± ¡°¡­It¡¯s Tobias, right? Can you give it to me?¡± It was exactly three days after I sent Toby¡¯s reply. I read his letter with tears in my eyes, he was as sweet as ever. Rather than reprimanding the sudden notice, it¡¯s a rough handwriting that worries me in a friendly way. My heart became suffocated. But, strangely enough, this letter contained the content that encouraged my dream. He was clearly suggesting that I should try to write. It was somewhat indirect, but in summary, the Royal Academy, the kingdom¡¯s top educational institution, began recruiting novel manuscripts from citizens. I paused for a moment. Why is he suddenly talking about this? Did I tell him that my dream is to be a writer? ¡°¡­..Oh, I did.¡± I was a little embarrassed when I barely remembered what I had said as if passing by that I like to read and sometimes write. It was a moment when I realized that I had become sensitive again after the stalker stalked me. Toby may have just told me to soothe my boredom, but the story of recruiting the manuscript was so attractive that it made my heart race. To be precise, the part where the royal family supported the final selection to study in Lunoa The Principality of Lunoa, which produced many great writers, such as treasures of human history, was a literary-based artistic powerhouse, and the Sourne Kingdom had an excellent industrial base while lacking artistic literacy. However, it seemed that our kingdom would finally start cultivating writers on a large scale. It was news that I couldn¡¯t help but welcome. * * * ¡°Of course I don¡¯t think I¡¯ll be selected, Viola.¡± I blushed in embarrassment for some reason. On a rainy afternoon, I was drinking tea in my room with Viola, who came to my house after a while. ¡°I was just trying to write as usual¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Mel, as I say all the time, you need to have some confidence.¡± Viola, with her frizzy blonde hair tied up high, was doing her best today to encourage me. ¡°I still can¡¯t forget the shock of the first day when I saw your writing.¡± ¡°¡­¡­Are you talking about the one I used when I was thirteen? Please forget about that.¡± ¡°That you¡¯re so talented?¡± Viola raised her voice at me, who had a painful face. She was almost voicing in her characteristic husky voice. ¡°If your writing is selected, you will make your debut as a writer at once. You are a talent recognized by the royal family. Being a woman wouldn¡¯t be a problem!¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± I guess so. The problem is that there is a vicious premise of ¡®if my writing is selected.¡¯ As I drank tea instead of answering, Viola confronted me. ¡°So what are you going to write, Miss Author? Are you going to start writing from today?¡± ¡°You¡¯re calling me Miss Author.¡± I blushed and looked into the air. Then, with a sudden thought, I looked down at the teacup, then looked into the air again. After repeating that three times, Viola let out a meaningful laugh. ¡°What¡¯s going on? You¡¯re thinking about something insidious now, aren¡¯t you?¡± ¡°¡­¡­Huh?¡± Is it an insidious thought? I didn¡¯t mean to, but somehow I couldn¡¯t deny it, so I just licked my lips. Then Viola chuckled and whispered, ¡°Are you doing this to write a story about dating Sir Toby?¡± ¡°No.¡± I¡¯m not pretending not to but I couldn¡¯t think of Toby at all. What I thought of was unfortunately Alan Leopold. The source of all my inspiration. My only muse. ¡°I¡¯m thinking about writing a story about someone¡¯s crush.¡­.¡± ¡°Do you really have to go that far? After all, even though it¡¯s a novel, but just strongly¡ª¡± When I hit Viola¡¯s forehead, she pursed her lips with an awkward face. ¡°¡­¡­no?¡± ¡°Novels are not written in a hurry, Viola. If you want to write a fixed amount in a short time, you have no choice but to borrow materials from everyday life.¡± ¡°You don¡¯t mean to write about Mr. Miller.¡± Viola made a subtle face. ¡°Sir Alan?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± I thought. It¡¯s not easy to fool my best friend¡¯s eyes. ¡°Think about it. I can¡¯t use my daily life trapped inside the house because of the stalker as a subject. There¡¯s no way.¡­.¡± ¡°After Mr. Miller appeared, I thought you were no longer thinking about Sir Alan.¡± Viola continued with a face that seemed to have been shocked. ¡°You even suffered humiliation because of him, Mel! Did you forget about the ball?¡± ¡°¡­¡­It¡¯s not going as I wanted.¡± Whenever I read a book or a poem, I think of him. Whenever I open my eyes or fall asleep, I draw his face helplessly. It is clear that he will not even remember the face of the person with whom he danced at the ball, but he still dominates my daily life. I¡¯ll just endure my daily life trapped with it. helplessly, like desperate people trembling in front of tyranny Even if I try to think of Tobias, I can¡¯t help but think of Alan Leopold at the end point of my consciousness. ¡°I know that liking someone doesn¡¯t work out the way you want it to¡­¡­but weren¡¯t you trying?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°If you are just getting more into Sir Alan while trying to get into writing, I want you to stop. I mean for writing.¡± I clenched my clothes as if I was a child being scolded. Hard enough to make my fingertips turn white. ¡°Melissa, you are an adult. What are you going to do if Mr. Miller leaves too?¡± ¡°Toby¡­¡± ¡°I know, you are a good person. But is he a good person only in front of your eyes? How long do you think he will be waiting for you?¡± Yes. Just because he shows me a favor now doesn¡¯t mean it¡¯ll last forever. I know well how easily a man¡¯s heart fades. Am I sure that Toby will be different? Even though we¡¯ve known each other for a while. He proposed a trip to strengthen the relationship a little bit, and I agreed to it for the same reason. I vaguely knew that if Toby leaves me, someone who would like me might not appear for the rest of my life. ¡°Haa¡­¡± I put my knees up and buried my face in mixed feelings. ¡°It¡¯s all because of that stalker¡­¡­.¡± I can¡¯t believe I have a stalker. This is really ridiculous. Without the stalker, I might have gone on a trip with Toby to New Ditch and fell in love with him, either nothing or something would have happened, or might have even gotten into a relationship with him. Tobias is a man of great character and is a reliable person with whom I can lean on at any time, so wouldn¡¯t I come to like him later on even if it will take some time? Then my mother¡¯s nagging will disappear. Isn¡¯t that just all it takes? Only then could I have become a proud daughter. ¡°Melissa, I¡¯m sorry for pushing you so hard. But you¡¯re the most suffocating and scariest person¡­¡­.¡± (T/N: the ¡°scariest person¡± here means different meaning, Mel makes other person scared for her, since she in a situation which will make people who love her scared) Viola still won¡¯t understand my mind. I can tell just by looking at her face. She wants me to find stability as soon as possible. Nevertheless, we warmly rubbed each other¡¯s backs. ¡°No, thank you for coming.¡± Even if we are thinking differently, the fact that we are each other¡¯s only best friends remains unchanged. Viola sincerely hopes for my happiness and I sincerely hope for the happiness of Viola. * * * Who will be in charge of the screening, if a novel is sent to the Royal Academy? It¡¯s impossible to notice but I know that the judge cannot not know Alan Leopold. By the way, is it okay to have a character who is obviously Alan Leopold as the male protagonist? I named the male protagonist Troy in the novel. He is named after the main character in the classic novel But all I got is the name. Unlike Troy, who has blonde hair and black eyes, the Troy in my story has pitch black hair and eyes as cold as a blizzard. ¡­¡­That¡¯s what I¡¯ve considered until this far. The problem was that I accidentally got the name wrong while writing. ¡°Oh.¡± Again. I shook my head and drew two lines over Alan¡¯s name. And when I wrote Troy in small letters, I thought I couldn¡¯t do it. ¡°I¡¯m going to stop here for today¡­¡­.¡± I stretched out lazily and went down to the first floor to play the piano¡ªa very small and old thing, of course¡ªor to help with household chores. But just in time, the front door was noisy. Out of curiosity, I ran and saw that Mr. Greg had just arrived. Mr. Greg runs a butchery in the city and I¡¯m always grateful for him delivering quality meat to my house and also for being the first one to witness that stalker. ¡°Hello, Mr. Greg.¡± ¡°Oh, Melissa. How have you been?¡± Greg smiled kindly as he handed Mrs. Kerney the box of meat. ¡°I think this is fresh, when was this part slaughtered?¡± Listening to Mrs. Kerney¡¯s stern voice and staring blankly at Mr. Greg¡¯s pale eyebrows, I shifted my gaze to the shredded crimson meat. Then I doubted my eyes. ¡°The belly part was slaughtered yesterday. It¡¯s perfect for bacon.¡± ¡°Hmm, the color is darker than the meat I received last time.¡± While Mrs. Kearney was checking the meat with stern eyes, I quickly pulled a note stuck between the chunks of meat. ¡°Melissa, don¡¯t touch it.¡± ¡°Oh¡­ I¡¯m sorry.¡± I quickly hid my hand holding the note behind my back. Fortunately, I seemed to be the only one who noticed this. My heart was beating wildly. A piece of paper that was folded twice straight and rimmed with gold leaf, was exactly the same shape as the one which the old woman on the previous day crumpled in front of me. *** Comments from Korean Readers: Melissa is a little clumsy, but she¡¯s realistic, so I sympathize with her while reading it ?? cares about the person sdje like, but even if someone who doesn¡¯t like likes her, not impressed. I have a bad feeling about Toby. It feels like watching Sherlock. Important note: The sentences in box which are in ITALICS and WHITE in colour are the letters exchanged between the characters. The sentences which are RED IN COLOUR are the notes from stalker and excerpts from the novel she is writing or any book she is reading. There will be many notes from the stalker coming, excerpts from the novel and ofc the letters too so readers if y¡¯all want me to use any other colour or change anything pls tell me in the comments section Chapter 16 - Come Outside Chapter 16: Come Outside I ran back into my room without looking back. Tightly holding the note soaked with faint blood stains. A piece of paper that would have been written and folded by his hand was in my hand. I suddenly got goosebumps. Should I just throw it away instead of reading it? As if I hadn¡¯t discovered it from the beginning. Then wouldn¡¯t that mean nothing had happened. However, this note may help catch the stalker. I don¡¯t have any clue, but if I throw this away¡­¡­. No, rather than that, should I read what is written here and throw it away? What if there¡¯s a warning or something that should never be leaked? I opened the note with my eyes closed. When I opened my eyes carefully, I could see simple letters in my blurred vision. Straight but weird letters. The handwriting, which seemed to be written by a child but it is strangely delicate like that of an adult, perfectly matched the message of warning to not go to New Ditch. ¡°Haa¡­¡­¡± Is he saying that he knows everything about my family and the people who come to my house, not watching just me? How damn far is he watching me¡­. Thinking like that, I felt like I was being engulfed by something more than the feeling of fear. I wanted to ask if I could talk to him directly. What the hell do you want from me? Of course, I can¡¯t afford to reply back, but it was so despairing to get a one-sided message while hiding from a man I didn¡¯t even know about. But I can¡¯t just bite my fingers from this.* No matter how afraid I am, I can¡¯t just wait for him to lose interest without doing anything like this¡­¡­. In the worst case scenario, his bad taste may last for years, maybe even longer. (*Not knowing what to do) Moreover, he is clearly provoking me. He is even stalking my family. This was probably the strongest warning ever. If I keep hiding like this, he will harm my family, too. Of course, my father is stationed in Solver, quite far from the capital, and my mother does not enjoy going out. I don¡¯t know if the scope of my family according to him extends to the madam and Julia, but they also almost never went far. Nevertheless, I can¡¯t relax. An unidentified man showed a clear presence through Mr. Greg. If he decides, he will be able to harm me. No matter how much I thought about it, no other hypothesis could come to mind. Viola guessed that my stalker was the king of the beggars, but I expected him to be a wealthy man who bought the beggar, and the idea became more and more firm. His note alone was torn from a gold-rimmed notebook. In common sense, how many times would a beggar¡¯s leader roll his pen on such expensive paper? Moreover, unfortunately, if he knew that Mr. Greg was a regular visitor to our house, there was a high probability that he would not be just a wealthy man. If he had enough influence to grasp every nook and cranny of the capital Florin¡­¡­ ¡°High-ranking aristocrats, doctors, lawyers, officers¡­¡­. Maybe he¡¯s a successful businessman¡­¡­.¡± If my reasoning is correct, the stalker will never be of a young age. impossible to secure such assets or positions at such a young age, but it is also a big reason that I am not even very beautiful. Even if I don¡¯t have an outstanding appearance, I have the youth they consider the best value. Rather, my mediocre appearance and background may have contributed to making me a crime target. Because I don¡¯t have an escort, a lover, a brother, or even a father to protect me. As it was in my past life, there are countless middle-aged men who are obsessed with young women here in the Sourne Kingdom. It seems that they feel rejuvenated by interacting with a young woman.¡­. It seems that nostalgia and admiration for youth that cannot be returned after entering middle age, even for me, would be the main cause. It is a long-standing question as to why such a tendency is particularly noticeable for men. To sum up, I am in a situation where I have to give up my current lifestyle, which I had almost been confined to. I don¡¯t want my family to feel this horrible feeling, so I have no other option. But I¡¯m thinking of confronting him in my own way. Not responding to anything just because I¡¯m afraid only encourages his evil deeds. It is true that a 20-year-old girl without a middle-aged man who is believed to have both assets and social influence will be able to overcome it, but I am the only one who can protect myself in the end. ¡°If I don¡¯t step in, nothing will change.¡± I muttered as if I were making a resolution. Hiding inside the house doesn¡¯t mean I can completely escape the shadow of the stalker anyway. Didn¡¯t he kindly tell me? I have to face it. That stalker can come into this place at any time, in any form. It¡¯s hopeless, but it¡¯s the truth. And it is also true that there is no one in this house who can overpower him with force. But that doesn¡¯t mean I¡¯m discouraged. A second life that I gained like a lie after passing away from an illness at a young age. I have to protect myself, my life. Even if I¡¯m still timid and introverted, it¡¯s enough to not give up helplessly without any attempt. ¡°¡­It¡¯s okay, Melissa. There¡¯s always a way.¡± I gently crumpled the piece of paper in my hand. With the thought that I would do my best to get rid of him. * * * It was a clear day without a single cloud. I grabbed an old notebook and a pen and left the house. During the daytime on weekdays, the Antris Coffee Shop was quiet. Even though the interior was quite spacious, there were only about four or five tables with tea cups. Unless there are people sitting in the seat hidden by the pillars. Perhaps because of the cold weather, the flower decorations that decorated the interior disappeared. Instead, tapestries with a rich texture were hung all over the place, and even with that small change, I could feel the winter approaching. I ordered an espresso with no added sugar today. ¡°Do you need anything else, miss?¡± The attendant asked in a polite manner as always. But when I looked around the store with nervous eyes instead of answering, he soon looked embarrassed, ¡°Do you have any problem¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Well, I have a favor to ask of you.¡± The attendant¡¯s eyes widened a little. His skeptical expression was evident, but standing with his back straight, he leaned his upper body slightly toward me as if waiting for my next words. That little favor encouraged me. ¡°Actually¡­¡­ It might sound weird¡­¡­.¡± It was somewhat embarrassing to say it. ¡°There¡¯s someone who¡¯s following me.¡± ¡°¡­¡­You mean right now?¡± When the attendant raised his bowed head, his pomade hair, which was combed neatly, gleamed in the light. His gray eyes, whose pigments were pale, were seen trembling slightly. ¡°I think he¡¯s not here for now¡­¡­ He showed up in this coffee shop before.¡± ¡°So, you¡¯re being stalked¡­¡­?¡± When I nodded with trembling eyes, the attendant took a breath. Soon after, his lips opened gently and a sigh came out. Even though it¡¯s a matter between a customer and an employee, it would have sounded ridiculous. I was grateful to him for accepting it without addition or subtraction. ¡°So¡­¡­If you see someone suspicious looking at me, can you tell me a little bit?¡± ¡°¡­..yes.¡± With a serious face, he gave the reply in a low voice and turned away silently. I opened the notebook with a more relaxed mind. As I turned over a sheet of paper that was crumpled up due to the letters I wrote, I noticed Alan¡¯s name written at the end. Exactly, his name with two lines drawn on it. I felt as if I had locked Alan in prison. ¡°Let¡¯s continue writing.¡± ¡°¡­¡­Ah.¡± As soon as the small cup was placed on the table with a clattering sound, I lost my pen. When I gently looked up, I made eye contact with the attendant glancing down at my notebook. ¡°Thank you.¡± When he was ashamed of his eyes curiously looking down at me writing, the attendant straightened his back as if getting up. ¡°¡­¡­Have a good time.¡± As soon as he stepped back in a polite manner, I lifted my cup and let the thick espresso flow a little into my throat. My concentration was slightly broken, but in order to complete the required amount within the deadline, I needed to hurry. I grabbed the pen again. ¡°Oh, my¡± I still can¡¯t think properly. Even though the chances are slim, this kind of attitude is the same as having no intention of being selected as an international student..¡­. I rolled up the brown curly hair that was gathered over my one shoulder, grabbed it, and then loosened it back. Strongly as if to punish myself. A tingling sensation came to my fingertips. It was not long before I felt my blood slowly circulating there. ¡°Phew¡­¡± Taking a deep breath, I drew another line over Alan¡¯s name. Scribble. Scribble. As a result, Alan was imprisoned twice. I don¡¯t know how many more times I¡¯m going to lock him up while writing this.¡­. I hurriedly added a small word at the bottom of Alan¡¯s name. ¡°Is this okay¡­.¡± A sigh came out involuntarily. I didn¡¯t mean to blame the attendant for putting down the coffee cup aloud, but this was purely my problem. There is nothing easy in the world, but I wondered what if even writing, which I believed to be talented in, wouldn¡¯t go well. I hope it was because of the coffee I drank. I closed mynotebook helplessly. If I continued to write like this, it seemed that I would come across a page dotted with Alan¡¯s name. I¡¯d better go back home now. If I walk slowly for about an hour, my head might get clearer. No, I have to. As Mr. Stalker said, I came out of the house, so I hope he will stop doing things that give me goosebumps. With that in mind, I drank half the remaining espresso. Then I packed up a few remaining things and tried to get up. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Then I saw her. The lady with red hair fluttering like flames quickly passed in front of me. *** Comments From Korean Readers: The novel is getting dark I understand that the female protagonist here is frustrating. She keeps creating dark pasts without listening to advice from others. But the female character¡¯s psychology is in her late teens who she has a crush on. I can understand because I feel like I¡¯m in my early 20s. No, stop it, Melissa ? I want to stop female lead from writing based on her own experience, but there are people who say that whenever she writes something, their hands and feet get cringe Literature doesn¡¯t make you cringe. You should be ashamed of your inability to accept such a thing, but treats poetry or literature as embarrassing by overusing the expression ¡°cringeworthy.¡± Writer, how can you express her psychology so delicately? I really like the female character¡¯s Really crazy ?? How can that heart fade easily when you have a crush on someone for 8 years?I understand how the female lead feels.I think you¡¯re so good at describing emotions that it gives me goosebumps. And cutting¡­ Chapter 17 - Monica Elwood Chapter 17: Monica Elwood The owner of the brightly fluttering red hair was a woman. Beautiful enough to attract attention. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± She gently crossed the coffee shop and headed in front of the showcase. I knew she was a woman, but for some reason I could not stop looking at her. A great beauty. I didn¡¯t even feel the need to add any other attributions. She was stunningly elegant and her extraordinary, glamorous attire made it difficult to look elsewhere. As if I was possessed, I followed each and everyone of her actions with my eyes without knowing that my lips were open. Only one thought lingered in my head. How does it feel to live with that beauty? With her long back gently leaning forward, she tapped a spot on the showcase with her long nails. Her hair fluttered gently behind her slender back. The waiter, who carefully took out the whole cake, started packing it with a skillful touch. Her gaze, looking around the inside of the coffee shop while waiting for the cake to be packed, was arrogant and relaxed. I quickly bowed my head just in case our eyes met. There¡¯s no reason to avoid it, but I don¡¯t know why I did it. Then I suddenly thought of Alan. At first, I thought it was because that woman¡¯s gaze resembled Alan¡¯s unique, noble regard. ¡®Sir Alan was with a woman!¡¯ I unintentionally recalled the voice of Viola. ¡®She was a mysterious beauty.¡¯ Alan¡¯s lover, who has been making a fuss in society for a while. It was surprising to myself that I completely forgot about the rumor. ¡®I heard that she has luscious red hair and fancy clothes, but no one in the social world knows her.¡¯ It was not a light gossip for me who had a crush on him. So I didn¡¯t forget it because it was never insignificant. Rather, it was the opposite. It was so painful to recall that I must have unconsciously pushed it out of my memory. In order not to hurt my heart any more. Women with that appearance were never common in Florin either. She may very well be the woman Alan is courting according to rumors, as she fits Viola¡¯s description. Wasn¡¯t it here in Antris that Alan and that mysterious beauty were together? ¡°Haa¡­¡± It was not my will to imagine a picture of the two of them together, but her appearance as his imaginary lover was so wonderful. To be able to stand with him, you must be a woman as wonderful as her. Such thoughts made me feel infinitely small. It was painful, as if I had been swallowed up by an uncontrollable sense of humiliation. In fact, the two did not insult me at all. Those two are people who were born to shine, not I. Accepting this simple fact is enough. Obviously, I don¡¯t know, but this reality made me feel sick. Alas. In the meantime, a cake box richly decorated with a red ribbon was handed in her hand. Maybe it was for Alan, as he rarely gets sweets for himself. I was lost in thought. What is she trying to celebrate? Is today the anniversary of the two? Or maybe today is Alan¡¯s birthday¡­¡­. My blank gaze followed her dignified and elegant back as she leisurely walked out of the coffee shop, and the scenery outside the window came into my view. ¡°Oh¡­¡± When was it? White snowflakes were fluttering like petals. It was the beginning of winter. * * * In Alan Leopold¡¯s office, only the finest products made by the hands of renowned artisans were placed. Nevertheless, there was always a cold energy present here. It may be due to the fact that the whole area was decorated in achromatic colors, but everything in this space was too neat. There was no trace of a human being at all. On the elegant Palisander table in the corner of the office, documents were neatly organized and were laid out meticulously, as if they had been measured with a ruler. Despite the vast amount of documents on various business conditions and performance reports, there was not even a little disturbance. Everything was in morbidly perfect condition, but if one had to pick the most perfect thing here, it was none other than the owner of this desk. The man, who looked beautiful enough to make you mesmerized, rested his chin on his hand while deep in thought. There was no emotion in the cold eyes like the winter sky. Monica, who had been silently watching the scene for a long time, got up as she slowly brushed her rich red hair. Her thick scent of shampoo drifted into the still air. ¡°Happy birthday, baby!¡± As if she couldn¡¯t take it any longer, her bright red lips opened wide like a flower blooming. The corners of her seductive lips were raised. At the same time, she pushed a box splendidly decorated with a red ribbon, in front of the man¡¯s eyes. Only then did the beautiful eyebrows, which had no movement at all, creased subtly. ¡°I hate sweets. You know.¡± Alan muttered in a low voice, not even paying attention to the box. ¡°It¡¯s a birthday that only comes once a year, so you can¡¯t leave out the cake.¡± Monica smiled as if she was familiar with his attitude. ¡°I chose the Black Forest this year. The chocolate sheet cake is like your hair, and the cherry is like your lips.¡± (T/N: well, I was going to use ¡°layer¡± instead of ¡°sheet¡± but the author directly used the word ¡°sheet¡±) ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Alan picked up the topmost report as if it wasn¡¯t even worth answering. ¡°Open it. It¡¯s as cute as you, Troy.¡± ¡°I told you not to call me that.¡± Despite the cold warning, Monica let out a small laugh. ¡°It¡¯s your childhood nickname, why do you look so scary when I say it? Monica Elwood is one of the few people who could approach the icy Alan Leopold, and it was no exaggeration to say that she knew him better than anyone else. Of course, it wasn¡¯t because the two were lovers. Monica was the biological daughter of Mr. Leopold. However, the two were not siblings either, and there were two reasons. The first reason was that Monica was not recognized as Leopold, and the surname Elwood was her mother¡¯s. Monica Elwood was born due to the one night-stand between Leopold¡¯s Head¡ª Ian and a woman in the back alley. Ian thoroughly hid the existence of such a daughter. It was clear that the fact that he rolled around with a lowly woman would damage his reputation, who was steadily growing his power. That woman from the back alley was killed of an unknown cause shortly after giving birth, and her death is still veiled. It was shortly after the woman¡¯s death that Ian sent the young Monica across the sea to the Principality of Lunoa. In all respects, he seemed to be in a hurry to erase her traces, but as a father, he sent Monica plenty of money every year but technically it was around the time she was just starting to learn the language, and it was true that before that, there had been very little indirect support. The sudden start of massive support coincided with the realization that Ian had become unable to produce any more children. In other words, Monica was the only blood that inherited his blood, although it was impossible to reveal her in public. Even now, and in the future. Therefore, Alan is not Ian¡¯s biological child. This was the second reason why the two children could not be biologically and legally siblings. Having sent Monica abroad, Ian made every effort to give birth to an heir, but failed every time. Many women passed by him until he realized that the cause was him, and Alan became known to the world as his only child from his third wife and the restoration of his power. His name was Troy, and he had no last name. He was a child as fair and beautiful as snow. At the orphanage regularly patronized by nobles, Ian sealed their lips and adopted him. At that time, in order to completely deceive the public, Ian was intent on getting a child with black hair and eyes like him. But when he saw Troy, Ian had no choice but to bring him in despite the fatal flaw that his eye color was much lighter than his. It¡¯s not just because of the child¡¯s sublime beauty. It was inevitable to be called force majeure and signalled by his own animalistic instinct¡ª that Troy was a genius entrepreneur. (T/N: they are basically saying the it was obvious that Troy was a genius and when he grows up he would be a force to be reckoned with) Troy, whose space called home changed overnight from a secret nursery to a mansion, and he lived a completely new life with the name Alan Leopold. He was only five years old then. Officials told Alan that he was Mr. Leopold¡¯s lost successor and that he had finally found him. This was, of course, Ian¡¯s script, but five-year-old Alan was willing to accept his fate with overwhelming heart. As if he had found his place, the young successor perfectly matched Leopold¡¯s name beyond everyone¡¯s expectations. It was Monica who told him the twisted truth. By the time Troy became Alan, Monica was already freely entering and exiting the mansion. In an achromatic mansion full of expressionless adults, a girl of his age with red hair like flames was the only one with vitality. It was a natural step for the two to get closer. In fact, Monica approached Alan with the intention of harassing him. It felt like her life was taken away by a boy who did not share even a drop of blood. She wasn¡¯t greedy for the successor¡¯s position, but she was grumpy for no reason. It was around that time that she had a terrible affection for Alan. Surprisingly it happened in an instant that she was completely obsessed with her precarious brother. Thus, young Monica came to tell him all the secrets of the family she knew. Like an oath that she will stand by his side among the adults full of lies¡­¡­. ¡°I say this every time, but if you¡¯re going to come, contact me in advance.¡± At that time, Alan, who shifted his bored gaze to Monica, spoke in a cold voice. ¡°I¡¯m not as free as you are, and the damage caused by your interference is not enough for you to compensate.¡± ¡°Alan.¡± Monica pushed the pile of documents to one side, which were arranged perfectly. Alan¡¯s forehead momentarily wrinkled with a frown when the neatly organized desk was disturbed. Monica¡¯s blue eyes with her upper body bent and chin in the place where the documents were pushed out were filled with the face of a picturesque beautiful woman. A dream-like whisper continued, ¡°You thought I wouldn¡¯t know that you like my present while pretending to be cranky?¡± ¡°Stop messing with me.¡± Monica laughed as if she was familiar with the cynical answer. ¡°Actually, I¡¯m on my way home. The thing I gave you the other day¡­¡­.¡± Monica used to send gifts all the time, but most of them were thrown straight away. Sugar-filled desserts were destined in the trash can, and all kinds of things are in the corner of a dusty mansion. Perhaps two years ago, Monica gave him a wig of a color similar to her hair. The reason was that she wanted to feel like a real brother and sister, but compared to such absurd reasons, it was too flamboyant. Whether or not, Alan left it on one side of the room with a cold sneer as always. After that, she thought he wouldn¡¯t even take a look at it ¡°I thought you kept it in your room, but the display changed a little¡± (T/N: She¡¯s wondering where the wig went, it¡¯s not on the display anymore) ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°There is no way you would have allowed the servants to tamper with your things¡­¡­.¡± Monica smiled softly, curling her seductive eyes. ¡°Are you tending to your wig and brushing it?¡± *** Comments from Korean readers: No, really ?? I don¡¯t want Melissa to submit the novel as it is or get caught by someone, it¡¯s embarrassing because she picked up too much reality and it¡¯s more like a delusional diary than a novel ???? ?? Stalking with that wig on ? Allen, you are stalking with a wig on. WHAT???? ????? I hope Melissa stops writing novels. I know it¡¯s hard to do what people want, but¡­ I have a lot of dark history. I¡¯m looking at how far I¡¯m going to stack¡­ I¡¯m falling for the writer¡¯s writing skills, but it¡¯s so hard to see Melissa¡¯s condition like that¡­;; It won¡¯t last for a long time, will it? Of all names, his name is Troy. ?? He got attracted to her writing skills??? Chapter 18 - The First Fall of Snow Chapter 18: The First Fall of Snow ¡°I¡¯ll call the carriage, so get going.¡± Alan said without even giving a glance to the seductive woman beside him, holding her chin. ¡°That¡¯s too much, baby. I came this far to celebrate your birthday.¡± ¡°I never called you.¡± ¡°You¡¯re a cruel man, really.¡± Monica pretended to be sullen and muttered, but, contradry/ironically, she had a smile on her face. As if she couldn¡¯t stand the cold reaction because it was lovely, she was enjoying Alan¡¯s perfect features with sparkling eyes as if honey was applied on him. ¡°I¡¯ll be quiet. I¡¯ll just watch from the side, okay? I haven¡¯t been here in a long time.¡± ¡°¡­. long time?¡± Monica smiled innocently as his cold gaze, which had been fixed on the documents, reluctantly turned to her. Perhaps because her bright red lips were on the border between glamour and vulgarity, even her clear smile looked slightly sexy. ¡°It wasn¡¯t long ago that I was forced to hang out with you, who came here recklessly. Even foolish people behave in moderation.¡± (T/N: He¡¯s telling her she is pushing her luck by coming by all the time. And even foolish people know when to stop) Tch, she could hear Alan clicking his tongue, but Monica didn¡¯t blink. ¡°I miss you so much. What should I do?¡± ¡°Stop it. I¡¯m going out anyway.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± As if displeased with those words, Monica got up and slowly folded her arms. Her luscious hair, which fell down to her waist, swayed like red waves. Maybe because he was old-fashioned, but if Monica notified Alan in advance he was usually more cooperative. Even though he was cold-hearted in everything, he was the type to lose to her. The two have been each other¡¯s only allies since childhood. Alan¡¯s feelings seem to have been different from her, but the two children did not deceive each other while cheating on adults who were full of lies. Knowing the truth about adoption, she knew he had a hard time. Young Alan wasn¡¯t particularly sweet, but he wasn¡¯t as cold-blooded as he is now. He may still be going through a tough time. Monica was ready to accept and support Alan who felt betrayed and irate at the truth that was hidden from him, waiting for him to storm out of the family. She had planned to lock him in her ¡®comforting¡¯ arms when he left and was no longer of high status or perfectually unattainable. Instead had Allen continued his path as successor Maybe he is twisted from inside, but Monica shrugged as if it didn¡¯t matter. She is confident that she¡¯ll love him in any form. ¡°By the way, baby, did you get addicted to literature all of a sudden?¡± ¡°What?¡± ¡°There are no good accomplished writers here.¡± This is not the Principality of Lunoa. Monica added a little. ¡°You¡¯re going to run a business in Lunoa next year, right? Isn¡¯t it okay to fully appreciate literature at that time?¡± ¡°What are you talking about?¡± ¡°There was a piece of paper with a poem on it at your desk. Don¡¯t tell me you forgot to organize your desk.¡± Alan¡¯s forehead was wrinkled by the words. The woman continued to talk. ¡°If only one season is allowed in my life¡­..I will live a winter that resembles you?¡± ¡°Monica Elwood.¡± Allen rang his voice low. ¡°Is that right?¡± ¡°You¡­ I am warning you.¡± Monica shivered at his sharp blade-like gaze. ¡°Stop threatening the servants and getting the key. It¡¯s not something I can endure forever.¡± As soon as Monica¡¯s red lips were about to utter a retort. Alan pulled the string. An aide rushed as he heard the bell. ¡°Call the carriage. Two.¡± ¡°¡­.Two?¡± ¡°Baby!¡± The aide¡¯s curious question and Monica¡¯s charismatic voice mixed in the air. Of course, Alan didn¡¯t budge. He just ordered it in a cool tone. ¡°Miss Elwood will return to the Principality, so take her straight to the port.¡± * * * ¡°What snow¡­¡­¡± It was extremely rare that it snowed so much in the capital, Florin. I stared blankly at the white snowflakes that embroidered the sky. As expected, I think it¡¯s better to postpone going home a little. It wouldn¡¯t be a good idea to leave the coffee shop right away without waiting for the snow to subside. The coffee shop was increasingly crowded with people trying to avoid heavy snow. To the extent that the soft aria played by the pianist was almost inaudible because of the noise of the people. In the cold, humid air, I was just staring out the window. The chilly beautiful winter scenery kept reminding me of someone. If I were to make this season a person, wouldn¡¯t it look exactly the same as him? My eyes, which had begun to get wet, were counting the coveted snowflakes without enthusiasm. The snow showed no sign of abating at all. But now it was good. Somehow, there was a strong urge to go home in the snow, and I got up abruptly. It seemed like it would be okay even if I was stupid, even if I had a bad cold. It would have been better if a bad cold could put an end to these ephemeral thoughts. The identity of this thought is a pair of beautiful lovers. From the moment I saw the rumored woman in person until now, she and Alan have been dancing all the time in my head. Holding hands, looking into each other¡¯s eyes. Reality was noisy, but in my imagination, only elegant and majestic music that I had never heard before resounded. The fantastic dance song just for the two of them showed no sign of ending. If I want to let them go out of my head, I have to fall asleep¡­¡­. ¡°Miss.¡± The attendant rushed up to me as I was heading to the door after paying my coffee price and putting a small tip on the table. ¡°As you can see, it is snowing heavily outside. So please wait a little bit¡­.¡± In his hand was a rolled up cloth. It was a black apron with the word Antris¨Cthe coffee shop embroidered with gold thread. ¡°If you have an urgent business that requires you to leave the door now, then take this.¡± I felt comforted by the kindness. Of the two coffee shops in the capital, this is probably the reason why people only go to Antris. But I shook my head with a light smile. Now I¡¯m completely obsessed with the child-like idea of wanting to feel white snow with my skin. The will to follow the impulse was stronger than expected. ¡°It¡¯s okay, and thank you. What I asked for earlier was also¡­ I got up earlier than I thought.¡­.¡± (T/N: I got up earlier¨Cmeaning she is leaving faster then she thought so the stalker probably didn¡¯t come) ¡°It¡¯s not.¡± The attendant added with a slight nod. ¡°If you need anything else, please let me know.¡± Was it because his words were so sweet? My lips moved on their own. ¡°¡­¡­I mean the woman who came to the store earlier, red-haired.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Seeing the attendant¡¯s face hardened strangely, I regretted my hasty speech. How can I ask this? But since I already brought it up, I had to end it. ¡°Do you happen to know who she is? I think it¡¯s my first time¡ª¡± (seeing her) ¡°She¡¯s a very special guest.¡± The faint gray eyes of the attendant showed a tense light. ¡°¡­¡­This is all I can tell you about her, Miss.¡± ¡°Oh¡­ Yes, I¡¯m sorry.¡± ¡°No, I¡¯m sorry I couldn¡¯t be of any help. Then please be careful.¡± The attendant politely stepped back. I also turned around in a hurry. Seeing the coffee shop employee so silent, she seems to be a more important person than I thought.¡­. Certainly, I don¡¯t remember seeing her here in society. Then, is she from foreign royal families or high-ranking aristocrats? By the way, it was fortunate that the conversation ended before asking if she was Alan¡¯s lover. I would have been too embarrassed to come to the coffee shop if I had asked about it. It¡¯s terrible just to think about not coming to the coffee shop. I made my way through the crowd at the door and pushed the heavy wooden door. Jingle, The golden doorbell in the shape of a small bird rang with a clear sound. ¡°Wow¡­¡± A white scenery spread beyond my white, scattering breath. It was like a snowy country out of a fairy tale. The snow was already quite piled up. I just walked awkwardly like a child learning how to walk. The feet fell deep with an unfamiliar and pleasant sound. Thin leather boots got wet helplessly. Walking through white snow, or even the streets where snow is gradually accumulating, is harder than I thought. When my frozen feet felt like they were about to fall off, and my toes were full, I realized I was wearing pretty thin clothes. It wasn¡¯t just the tip of my toes that became numb to the biting cold. How long did I walk in a silent blizzard where there is no one¡¯s presence? I shuddered, and I was trembling as my teeth chattered. It wasn¡¯t enough to rush my feet, but my steps only slowed down. Snowflakes, which seemed only beautiful from the inside of the window, landed on the head, the bridge of the nose, cheeks and the eyelashes, without any delay. Heartlessly as if laughing at my foolishness. I just shuddered at the inexorable coldness. The crystals of snow that melted as soon as they touched disappeared, leaving only a creepy chill on the delicate skin. It was so fleeting and merciless. ¡°¡­Ha.¡± A self-deprecating laugh broke out. Things you can¡¯t have, are the most beautiful when you look at them. Why do I forget every time I go through it? The dense snow covered my sight and hearing. The dull surroundings were hazy and desolate. I felt like my consciousness was fading little by little, but there was no one to ask for help. I was the only a stupid writer walking in the unprecedented heavy snow. That¡¯s true. No matter how white and innocent it may seem, the arms of winter can never be splendid or cozy. I knew that, too. That¡¯s why I feel dejected without a lot. It¡¯s only a foolish impulse to encourage you to walk into the cold and despair that freezes you to your bones. It¡¯s not unlike that man¡­¡­. ¡°Ah!¡± Having lost strength all over my body, I finally lost my footing. Then I fell down on the spot. Like a piece of worthless wood. My whole body was buried in the cold snow. It was natural that I couldn¡¯t raise my body. What was surprising was the fact that I didn¡¯t feel any pain or worry. In a dazed consciousness, I thought. When white snow piles up over my fallen body, I will soon be invisible even as a human being. If no one finds out in this harsh snow, how much longer can I last? While imagining this terrible thing, I felt helpless tranquility. Perhaps my judgment has become more blurred than I thought. Eventually, I didn¡¯t feel the cold anymore. I felt a wave of irresistible deep sleep rushing in. Right at that moment. Under the heavy eyelids, with my hazy vision I saw a whitish figure approaching. I didn¡¯t hear any of the carriages approaching me.¡­ It was definitely a person. The figure of a tall, slim, and beautiful man as if drawn. I know a young man with such a silhouette. But even if I tried to look closely at him, it was impossible to keep my eyes open anymore. When my eyes finally closed, a firm chest hugged me. It was cold as if I was hugging winter, but it was calm in the person¡¯s arms. In the sudden warmth, thin tears came out of the eyelashes with snow crystals hanging. I didn¡¯t feel any surprise or discomfort. Everything was just as hazy as a dream. It was also the same as hearing the sound of a horse whipping. Like a boat horn in the distant sea. I, who eagerly embraced him like a person standing on a cliff, lost consciousness. *** Comments from Korean readers: The setting is a little funny compared to the fine description. While spending time at the cafe. She lost consciousness while walking in the snow. (T/N: idk what to say about the comment that this Korean reader made and how tf did this come at top best comments¡ª but readers let me tell you, normally if a person who is used to sunny climate experience snow, it¡¯s actually hell, and Mel FYI isn¡¯t used to the snow since Florin doesn¡¯t snows that much, normally snow looks very beautiful and harmless but it¡¯s a bitch actually. Based on true experience, I did this actually but came back together coz I couldn¡¯t handle that fck) Even if I look at it again¡­ It¡¯s nice. ?? I feel like I¡¯m at the cafe. On the snowy road¡­ The description of the scene is so good. The writing is pretty. It¡¯s the immature and impulsive youth who fell in love. The female character is a very emotional character. Because she¡¯s the main character of the novel. I¡¯m here to read it again. Chapter 19 - Crossroads of Life and Death Chapter 19: Crossroads of Life and Death I suffered for three days. I didn¡¯t know I¡¯d really suffer from a terrible fever. During the time I was lying down, every thought and disillusionment that was filled in my head was erased as expected. Nevertheless, I was not happy because the time was so painful. I was literally on the threshold of death. The memories of my previous life are already very faint, but I remember that I had spent many years on the hospital bed. Those times were anxieties disguised as peace, but I was willing to be deceived. At first glance, the days were calm enough to be mistaken for peace. From the day I first collapsed at the age of sixteen to the day I finally closed my eyes forever in the hospital room at the age of twenty, my only hobbies were reading books or writing occasionally. Even though it was such a boring life, I used to be confident in enduring pain. But I finally realized what a silly illusion it was. Pain is something that can¡¯t be dulled by learning. Where is the me of my previous life who endured countless treatments while suppressing the groans while grimacing? Is it already scattered far away from my memories? For literally three days I was in between life and death, my consciousness endlessly clamoured in the pitiful body exhaling precarious breath, asking for death. The terrible pain that made me want to put everything down like this constantly shook me up. While my body was twisting due to the burning heat, a terrible chill that permeated my bones. I trembled like a candle in front of the wind. A large embrace that embraced me, who was frozen as cold as if my heart would stop at any moment. Crossing the line, I desperately clung to the memory of that moment. In the warmth of the man, who seemed like a ray of light in the dark. When his arms wrapped around me, the feeling at that time was comparable to salvation. He seemed to comfort me that I would surely be able to live, and that in this life I should never give up easily. However, no matter how hard I tried to hold onto it, the warmth kept moving away. The clouded consciousness flickered constantly as it faded. It was like being in the middle of a brutal battlefield. Similar to a living hell. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± How did I struggle like that? Suddenly, I felt a tingling sensation in my left hand. There was also a very slight body temperature. Both my eyes, which seemed to never see light again, sensed faint light. My eyelids trembled helplessly at the tears coming out of the eyelashes that were touching each other. ¡°Melissa¡­¡­!¡± My mother, who was dozing off while holding my hand, looked surprised as if she had seen a ghost. I didn¡¯t know until now that my mother¡¯s hands had become so rough. ¡°¡­Mom.¡± As if I had swallowed a fish thorn, my voice did not come out properly. The wet towel on my forehead had become lukewarm. ¡°Oh my god, Melissa! God¡­!¡± My mother hugged me with tears in her eyes. Having no strength in my body, I was only swaying helplessly in my mother¡¯s arms. Over my mother¡¯s shoulder, a doctor, who was sleeping on a chair in a corner, jumped up and ran towards me. Mrs. Kearney, who was entering the room with a basin filled with water, also paused. ¡°The fever is almost gone.¡± ¡°Thank you, sir. Thank you¡­..¡± I heard my mother¡¯s voice expressing her gratitude. I closed my eyes comfortably, feeling a new towel on my forehead. It was a rather mild morning for winter. * * * After the fever subsided and I literally came back alive from the crossroads of life and death, my mother and Mrs. Kerney took turns visiting me. The two ladies desperately expressed their gratitude to me for fighting and overcoming it without giving up, and endlessly confessed how much they loved me. In particular, my mother poured out a series of words that could doubt my ears while listening to it, saying that marriage was not everything. She even listened to the story that I began to write a novel, which I confessed thinking this was the time, in an attitude close to encouragement. It seems that some kind of shock therapy worked, but it was a strange situation indeed. I had no idea how long the effect will continue, but so far it continues to be safe. Today, the third day after regaining my consciousness, I woke up from a sweet sleep in the afternoon. My body was surprisingly light. Finally, I could realize that I had fully recovered from the terrible fever. It was the feeling that I had longed and hoped for in my last life. Somehow, I felt like I was going to cry. The first thing I did when I got out of bed was to write a reply. This is because I finally opened Toby¡¯s letter, which had arrived while I was suffering from a high fever on my bed. Tobias said he went to New Ditch to meet his family. He had cutely whimpered that it was too bad that I couldn¡¯t accompany him. In addition to the friendly greeting letter, there was a palm-sized picture in the envelope, and I could tell at a glance. That the lake in the picture is Lake of New Ditch. ¡°Wow¡­¡± I heard that New Ditch has a lot of snow unlike Florin, but the picture of the lake in the pure white snow looked like a world out of a fairy tale. Since it is a painting that gives a sentimental and romantic impression, I was secretly convinced that I would like the lake if I saw it in person. By the time I wrote the letter, it was almost time for dinner. I pulled out my old notebook in the hopes of writing something down. It was only a few days later, but I was feeling strange that it felt unfamiliar. To check how far I wrote, I opened the last part and burst into laughter. ¡°That¡¯s right. I made a mistake again.¡± With a dejected face, I alternated my gaze between lines drawn on Alan¡¯s name and the small letters ¡°Troy¡± below it. How many more mistakes do you intend to make? At this rate, all my pages will be black. I grabbed a pen with a short deep breath. There wasn¡¯t a lot of writing. So I was able to quickly glance at everything I had written so far, but my face got hot again when I read it quietly. Of course, the female protagonist was strangely a character who inherited my emotions, and the male protagonist was just a name, Troy, but he perfectly projected Alan Leopold in all aspects, including the appearance, personality, and atmosphere. The story, with tiny modifications were composed of the few anecdotes between me and him, and the heroine¡¯s lines were dotted with clumsy truths that I could not convey to him in real life. I¡¯m too shy. ¡°¡­This is like a diary.¡± But I am writing a novel. So I need to be a little more creative. From the moment I woke up from a long sleep, I quickly started writing the story I had been wanting to write for a long time. ¡°Melissa!¡± I heard Mrs. Kerney¡¯s voice calling me from the first floor as my meal was ready, but I pretended to be ignorant because I couldn¡¯t distract myself. I think it¡¯ll be okay once. I was writing a scene where the heroine was caught up in a snow storm due to a sudden weather change. I was able to vividly describe how cold it was, how frightening it was, and how all the senses and consciousness of the body were blurred. Well, it¡¯s not much different from what I experienced. Again, I brought an anecdote that I actually went through. However, I wrote a scene where the male protagonist Troy saves the female protagonist who fell in the snow. The snow was so strong, that I didn¡¯t put any special lines between the two of them. Because the heroine was gradually losing consciousness. However, as if Troy was lovingly hugging the frozen woman and encouraging her that she would be able to live, it was written with special care. It¡¯s an important scene where he establishes himself as a lifesaver for the heroine. Next, as I was writing down a line detailing how he had drove her home in his magnificent carriage, I once again heard a voice calling me. ¡°Hey, Melissa! Come down!¡± This time, it was my mother. It sounded like she was very angry, so I hurriedly got up. ¡°I¡¯m coming!¡± As I went down the stairs, the savory smell of beef stew that I had subtly sniffed in my room became more intense. I felt touched for no reason. How long has it been since I had a proper meal? Fortunately, the food has not cooled down yet. After the prayer before the meal, my mother said, ¡°The meat ran out, but there is still time until Mr. Greg arrives, right? That¡¯s why Mrs. Kerney went out to the market to get it for you, right?¡± ¡°Is that so? Thank you, Mrs. Kerney.¡± It must have been cold. And soon Mrs. Kearney added a small smile, revealing her rabbit-like front teeth. It was a normal but warm and grateful dinner. The ladies continued to talk about insignificant daily stories. However, a word from my mother made me pause my hand as I was eating the potatoes in the stew. ¡°¡­Mom, what did you just say?¡± My mother¡¯s eyebrows twitched perhaps she thought I was talking back. ¡°That Mr. Leopold is as good as his reputation, why? He saved you. Did I say something wrong?¡± ¡°What¡­¡­?¡± ¡°That child, Melissa.¡± As I made a bewildered look, Mrs. Kerney added, squinting her eyes, ¡°Brought you home from the snow¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Yes, Sir Alan. How grateful I was? I asked how I could express my gratitude, and he said he just did what he had to do!¡± Usually, my mother used to secretly envy the Leopold family, who had grown to rival the influence of the royal family. She use to badmouth Alan saying that he was only polished on the outside and that it was clear he was the empty inside, but now she was full of praises for him. ¡°No, I¡­¡­.¡± My confused mind made it difficult for me to speak. So, the owner of the arms who saved me is Alan Leopold¡­? I couldn¡¯t close my lips to a story that seemed more like my novel than reality. ¡°What¡¯s wrong with you? I had already told you everything when you woke up.¡± ¡°At that time, I guess I wasn¡¯t awake yet. I don¡¯t remember hearing it at all¡­¡­.¡± Eventually, my hands trembled and I missed the tableware. I have to hurry up and figure out the situation, but it doesn¡¯t make sense no matter how much I think about it. How on earth is this coincidence¡­¡­. That Alan Leopold saved me? ¡°Oh my.¡± At that time, when I suddenly heard someone knocking roughly on the gate, my surprised mother put down the glass of water. Me, Mrs. Kerney, and Julia, who was passing by the table, also looked toward the gate at once. No way. ¡°Who could it be?¡± At my question, three women shrugged at the same time. It was shortly after Mrs. Kearney, who raised herself, ran to the door to greet an unexpected visitor. *** Comments from Korean readers: Could it be that the main character before she was possessed read the book Mel is writing now? So, I think I will continue to write from the point of view of an omniscient writer. I¡¯m annoyed. Someone give me a ride on the novel, please. When Alan reads the novel, isn¡¯t it from an omniscient perspective? His name is Troy, and it also says that he saved FL Alan¡­ You¡¯re a true love. I like them all, but I don¡¯t think it¡¯s right to write that novel. Chapter 20 - Alan Leopold Chapter 20: Alan Leopold Clang, clang¡ª The sound of the gate closing and the door knocker announcing the guests¡¯ arrival. [I thought it would be surreal if it was Alan that came so casually to my home. I know that thinking like this is more of an excess of self-consciousness, but I couldn¡¯t help it. The man who saved me is Alan Leopold.¡­. ¡°Did someone arrive?¡± ¡°Go see who it is, Mrs. Kerney.¡± At the urging of my mother, Mrs. Kerney rushed to the doorstep. We only followed her back with anxious eyes. A cold outside breeze came through the slightly open door. ¡°How did you get here?¡± ¡°Is it the house where Miss Collins lives?¡± I knew it. It was him. He came. My heart was pounding as if it was going to come out of my chest at any moment. I thought that my face, which had been heated up, might burst like this. ¡°I¡¯m from the Longhorn family.¡± The man outside the door opened his mouth. ¡°My young master told me that he caused trouble to the Miss on her way home. He said that you would know if I told you that it was Malcolm Longhorn.¡± ¡°Longhorn?¡± My mother, who turned her head toward me, murmured with a puzzled look on her face. ¡°Ah, if it¡¯s Longhorn¡­¡­!¡± It was only then that I remembered. He mistook me for another woman at the victory dance¡­¡­. But why did he send someone to my house? This question was answered shortly thereafter. The man had placed a large box in Kerney¡¯s arms ¡°He is sending it as an apology, so take it. Then goodbye.¡± ¡°No, please, come on in and have some tea..¡­!¡± Despite Mrs. Kearney¡¯s [the spelling of her name here is different, which one is it?] urgent voice, the man had already disappeared. While holding the box, she shrugged her shoulders and pushed the door with her back to close it. ¡°What is it, ma¡¯am?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know. It¡¯s not too heavy for its size.¡± A large wooden box was placed on one side of the table. I was somewhat perplexed. The young master of Longhorn went out of his way to get my name and promised to apologize for his rudeness, but I never thought he¡¯d send anything home. ¡°I, I don¡¯t know¡­¡­.¡± My voice trembled strangely because I felt the eyes on me. ¡°Lady, do you recognize the name?¡± Julia asked with a very wary expression on her face. No matter how esteemed or one divulged their identity she was still cautious when the stalker matter was still afoot. ¡°¡­Yes, he made a small mistake at the victory ceremony. He asked for my name, saying he would apologize.¡­.¡± My mother urged me as if she was frustrated with my slow, hesitant response. ¡°Hurry up and open it, Melissa.¡± ¡°Yes.¡± I quickly scraped off the remaining stew and drank it, then got up. The wooden box that had been surrounded with outside air was cold. As I carefully lifted the lid of the box, the fierce eyes of the three women dug into the box at once. ¡°This is¡­¡± ¡°Oh my god.¡± The identity of the object in the box was a gorgeous winter dress. There was a shiny glow over the red velvet fabric. ¡°What kind of mistake did he commit against you to give you something so expensive!¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± My mother¡¯s fuss didn¡¯t sound strange at all. At a glance, it was quite luxurious. He even sent a hat and gloves to match the dress. ¡°Huh?¡± At that time, a small card was seen inserted between a pair of finely folded opera gloves. I stretched my arms between the wrinkled hands of two ladies who were not interested in the card and picked it up because I was sweeping the fabric around. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± My lips opened in embarrassment. I don¡¯t know how to accept such an expensive dress without any burden. I was also puzzled because I had never heard of the word that red suits me well. To be exact, I rarely heard what color suits me. ¡°Melissa.¡± My mother spoke with her eyes shining. ¡°This gentleman, is he single?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± My mother looked more excited than the person who received the dress as a gift. He¡¯s a man who sends such expensive things to make up for such a small mistake. He fits perfectly with the ideal son-in-law that my mother thinks of. Even so, you don¡¯t know how old this person is or what he looks like.¡­. It was so like my mother. ¡°¡­I don¡¯t know about that, but even if he doesn¡¯t have a wife, he sure has a lover. He mistook me for another woman at the ball.¡± ¡°Really? Well, there¡¯s no way that such a wealthy man is left alone.¡± My mother continued without a change in expression as if she had not expected much. ¡°Melissa, you can wear this and go see Mr. Leopold.¡± ¡°What?¡± When I heard Leopold, I was startled as if I had committed a crime. ¡°What¡¯s wrong? Shouldn¡¯t you thank your savior?¡± ¡°Suddenly, you want me to say thank you¡­¡­?¡± ¡°Yes!¡± My mother, who began to collect empty plates on the table before I knew it, replied. ¡°I thought you¡¯d be beaten and rejected from his front door if you went looking shabby, but it should be okay if you wore this.¡± ¡°But he said he didn¡¯t need thanks¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Since he is a gentleman, of course he¡¯ll say that! But were you really not going to express your gratitude?¡± My mother continued to talk, crumpling her forehead as if she were frustrated. ¡°You will make a good impression in the morning¡ªwhat! It¡¯s not bad to be seen favorably by Leopold. Don¡¯t you know people visit with less justification?¡± ¡°No, I¡ª¡± ¡°Go and say hello and leave a good impression. It¡¯s an incredible fate, so of course you have to catch it! You never know what relationship may arise!¡± Then Mrs. Kerney took the hint to clean up the leftovers. ¡°Do you happen to know? He might become your husband.¡± ¡°Madam!¡± When I shouted without realizing it, madam humorously stuck out her tongue. After all, Mrs. Kerney must have noticed that I have a crush on Alan¡­¡­ ¡°You said you both danced together. This is fate! If coincidence overlaps, that¡¯s fate! Don¡¯t you think so? Mrs. Collins? ¡°If you go¡­..!¡± I hurriedly intervened. Because once my mother starts to sympathize, this nonsensical conversation will never end. ¡°¡­ It would be counterproductive.¡± ¡°You always give up even before you start. Who do you take after? Whoo.¡± ¡°Mom, I ran into Sir Alan twice. Both times he looked at me with contempt.¡­.¡± As soon as I remembered the moment when the cold-colored eyes looked down at me arrogantly, I got goosebumps all over my body. The problem is that I love even those cold eyes¡­¡­. This is definitely serious. ¡°He wouldn¡¯t want to waste his time on someone like me. I don¡¯t think I¡¯ll be able to meet him even if I¡¯m visiting him.¡­.¡± ¡°Your mother thinks¡ª¡± ¡°I don¡¯t want to insult my family for nothing, and I¡¯m tired of getting hurt anymore.¡± I rarely had firm eyes. ¡°So I¡¯ll just be thankful with my heart.¡± This love is one-sided and therefore it is harsh, so if I approach him, I will inevitably get hurt. When I am able to look at him from afar, that¡¯s when I¡¯m the happiest. Every time. Nevertheless, the fact that Alan saved me when I was lying in the snow may someday be the driving force behind my entire life, as Mrs. Kearney said. Maybe already¡­. * * * Wearing an expensive dress that I have never had in my life and going to the Leopold family¡¯s residence intending to impress with a greeting. For someone like Melissa Collins, it was something unimaginable. However, I couldn¡¯t keep the innocent dress in the closet forever, so I decided to take it out for the first time on a casual outing. Although my reflection in the mirror was somewhat awkward, a strange feeling of happiness tickled my toes. Because of the family circumstances, I naturally stopped paying attention to my appearance, and I was also an ordinary 20-year-old girl. Of course, it¡¯s embarrassing to suddenly wear colorful clothes, and I¡¯m not strong enough to take out a dress like this for a casual outing. It¡¯s a different story if I¡¯m meeting Tobias after a long time, who just came back from New Ditch. ¡°You¡¯re so pretty, Miss Melissa¡­¡­¡± Toby immediately blushed when I, who had always looked modest, appeared in a colorful velvet dress like a rose. I felt good about the honest appreciation. Maybe it was because of my bright outfit, I didn¡¯t look like someone who had been ill for a few days. It¡¯s true that I didn¡¯t want him to worry about it, so I decided not to talk about how I had fainted in the snow. Instead, I only explained how I got a dress. ¡°¡­¡­That¡¯s what happened. He¡¯s a great person.¡± Then praise continued for Longhorn, whose face now I can¡¯t remember well. I agreed with Toby. The mistake was not that great, and I received a polite apology right after, but he even sent a gift like this. It would not be an exaggeration to say that he is like Cinderella¡¯s fairy godmother. Then, the conversation about New Ditch continued for a long time. He included stories like how much Millers looked forward to people coming over to visit. I could tell they were good people just by listening to Tobias. I haven¡¯t met them yet, but I felt cozy as if I had a new family already. I didn¡¯t tell him that the reason I couldn¡¯t go with him was because of the stalker¡¯s threat, but I was already assuming that the stalker would disappear soon. ¡°If possible, I like spring.¡± ¡°Then let¡¯s do it around April. A lot of flowers bloom around the lake.¡± We discussed with excited faces when it would be good to go to New Ditch. It was an afternoon when everything seemed fine. Yes. I¡¯m sure the stalker will soon lose interest and fall apart. In the first place, it was difficult for me to understand that someone was chasing after my every move. I leaned against the pillar and curved my eyes as I laughed. ¡°I can¡¯t wait, Toby¡­¡­.¡± I meant it without any lies. * * * ¡°Then do you eat potato dishes as soon as you arrive?¡± The sound of a woman¡¯s gentle laughter echoed through the room. An innocent smile, far from the gorgeous attire, spread across her cheek It was that moment. Behind the pillar where she leaned, a man sitting with his long legs crossed in front of a small round table pulled down his wig annoyedly. Then black hair like the night sky appeared. A brilliant red wig covering his head was placed on the table. The attendant, who saw it, rushed with a paper bag and handed it over carefully with the wig he had put in The man who received it with a cold face got up without hesitation and left the coffee shop. ¡°My sister, Miss Melissa¡ª¡± Tobias, who inadvertently shifted his gaze to the doorway at the sound of the bell, suddenly stopped talking. ¡®¡­..Alan Leopold?¡¯ In the sudden silence, Melissa also followed his gaze toward the door, but there was no one there. ¡°Toby? What¡¯s wrong?¡± ¡°Oh, never mind. I must have seen it wrong.¡± Tobias smiled kindly. There was no way that Alan Leopold would be killing time alone in a coffee shop at this hour. *** Comments from Korean readers: As she had been dragged by Longhorn in the first place, seeing that Alan appeared, it was an excuse to mistake that person, and I think he deliberately dragged the main character there after receiving Alan¡¯s command. That dress, which was given as an apology, is actually probably sent by Alan. And isn¡¯t Alan in a state of boiling up as he sees the protagonist wearing the dress he gave her and drawing the future with another man? Then until now, red-haired man = stalker = Alan¡­. Argh! There¡¯s no one to trust, so I¡¯m going crazy¡­? There are a million question marks. The writing is pretty, so I keep reading it. The content is fun, too. Longhorn, Toby, and alam. The female protagonist is buff! Oh! Chapter 21 - Declaration Ceremony Chapter 21: Declaration Ceremony Somehow I was even telling Toby about my novel. Partly because he¡¯s a good listener and partly because I want to get closer to him, but anyway, it¡¯s because of the news that Tobias gave me which made me write a novel in earnest. ¡°¡­¡­ Actually, my dream is to be a writer. I¡¯m embarrassed to say.¡± ¡°What do you mean embarrassed!¡± Toby refuted my words with his dark black eyes glowing passionately. Slightly shy, he added with a quite serious face. ¡°It¡¯s so¡­ It¡¯s so great, Miss Melissa.¡± ¡°Thank you. It¡¯s a precious dream for me, so it¡¯s the first time I¡¯m talking about this to someone other than my best friend.¡± ¡°It¡¯s¡­. such an honour,¡± Toby replied with a shy, but happy face. I explained how much his news of the Royal Academy¡¯s writing contest inspired me. When I told him how it spurred me to start writing my novel, his eyes changed. ¡°Then, can you tell me what novel you¡¯re writing about?¡± ¡°What¡¯s it¡­. about?¡± ¡°Yes. I¡¯m not a literature savvy person, but¡­.¡± As I spoke as if hesitating, Toby added, turning the coffee cup around for no reason. ¡°A person tends to bring materials from their daily life¡­¡­. I¡¯m just asking because I want to know more about Miss Melissa.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± I have not yet told anyone in detail about the contents of this novel. Even Viola doesn¡¯t know the details. Come to think of it, we rarely see each other¡¯s faces for a while. Anyway, writing a novel takes time, and if I continue to hang out with Toby, in the end, I¡¯ll be so engrossed in the novel that I won¡¯t be able to hide it from him. And in fact, when I write, there are often moments when I want to talk about my novel endlessly. And it would be more comfortable to talk to a favourable person about my writings than a critic. So Tobias was the perfect person indeed. ¡°It¡¯s about a crush.¡± ¡°Crush¡­¡± Toby looked at me with a slightly complicated expression and looked at me again. His eyes were trembling lightly. ¡°Then the experience¡­¡­ Miss Melissa¡¯s real life¡­¡­.¡± ¡°¡­..Yes, that¡¯s right. It¡¯s been quite a while.¡± ¡°Oh¡­¡± Toby took a sip of coffee with a blank face. His reaction was natural. Because my answer was so forward, honest and brazen even I couldn¡¯t believe what I had bravely said even after saying it. But anyway, is this really something to say to Tobias Miller, who clearly has a crush on me? If I admit that this unrequited love story is my experience, then Toby will of course¡­¡­ ¡°Can I hear who that person is? If you don¡¯t mind¡­¡­.¡± He¡¯s trying to know the other person. ¡°That person¡­¡­¡± I never knew that I, Melissa Collins, could be so bold. ¡°It¡¯s Sir Alan Leopold.¡± ¡°¡­¡­Ah.¡± Tobias briefly murmured. It sounded like a sigh. Suddenly, I wanted to ask myself. Did I want to see his reaction? Did I even want to see someone who likes me¡ª struggle because of me? ¡­¡­No matter how impulsive it was, isn¡¯t this too cheeky? I should clarify. I rebuked myself and hurriedly tried to make up for what I said before. ¡°I¡ª¡± ¡°I understand.¡± When I heard that, I raised my head. Tobias had a very serious face. ¡°As I said, I also respect Sir Alan. I can¡¯t fathom how deep Melissa¡¯s heart is, but¡­¡­.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I think my longing is similar to that.¡± ¡°Oh¡­¡± Toby tried to solve the situation by weaving my crush into his longing. He went beyond appreciating and I felt sorry because of his graceful response to my rash remarks. ¡°I, I¡¯m not serious. The other person is too out of reach for anything to transpire.¡­.¡± The word serious can be interpreted in many ways, even so, I clearly know that this clumsy feeling cannot be realized. So I never lied to you. ¡°In fact, it wasn¡¯t as ideal as I thought it would be. Oh, of course¡­ his personality.¡± ¡°You mean his personality?¡± ¡°Yes. I was guessing he was a cold person¡­¡­.¡± I hesitated for a moment about how to best describe Alan Leopold¡¯s personality. Because what I¡¯ve seen may only be part of it. Of course, his personality will be different for his lover or family member. But the feeling that I received from him consistently is definitely¡­¡­. ¡°He had an air of¡­.¡± Yes, it was this. The reason why his gaze made me feel strange and creepy. ¡°He didn¡¯t feel the slightest bit of compassion or sympathy for those weaker than him.¡± ¡°Oh¡­¡± Toby looked complicated. Does it feel like I¡¯m undermining the object that he respects? Tobias calmly opened his mouth. ¡°He began to stand out as Leopold¡¯s successor from a young age. It¡¯s remarkable to recall that he started so early.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°At that young age, he contributed to royal public works projects and was even awarded with the title of knight by the royal family. But he¡¯s an adult now, so he¡¯s going to take charge of a new business from next year.¡± I asked Toby, who had an overwhelming voice as if he were saying something great, with an unfamiliar face. ¡°Won¡¯t all Leopold¡¯s businesses end up in his hands anyway?¡± ¡°Leopold¡¯s next owner position will be succeeded by the most reliable aide. There¡¯s no guarantee it will be by the son. In fact, Sir Alan has only served as an assistant to his father.¡± ¡°Oh, then next year¡¯s business¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Yes, it¡¯s kind of a declaration ceremony.¡± Tobias smiled a little. ¡°The Leopold family is now recruiting young people to join Sir Alan¡¯s first business. He¡¯s going to do a great job, and it¡¯s going to be a daunting task to help him get started.¡± So to sum up, Leopold¡¯s scholarship students seemed to be helping Alan with his first business. He said he respects Alan and Tobias wants to share his beginning. ¡°As an observer of the kingdom¡¯s top business family, he must have lived a life without respite. Wouldn¡¯t his environment and the pressure he lives under not foster emotions such as consideration and sympathy?¡± ¡°What do you mean¡­¡± Listening to Toby, I clearly realized that I had only loved one aspect of Alan. I may not deny it, but I have no intention of denying it. I don¡¯t have time to worry about other people¡¯s circumstances or conditions. Moreover, in the case of Alan Leopold, who is close to perfection. Unlike me, I just fell irresistibly in love with the beautiful man without flaws. What I loved was his brilliance that I would never have in my life, not being pitiful about him. That doesn¡¯t mean it¡¯s bad. It just meant the advertisement was tempting, beautiful and dazzling. Then Toby continued to talk. ¡°Those feelings are not essential to businessmen, so I can¡¯t say they¡¯re Sir Alan¡¯s flaws¡­¡­.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°But as a lover, I guess.¡± As if embarrassed, he smiled as he smoothed his thick back hair. ¡°I¡¯m the son of an ordinary pastor, and I¡¯m a country boy who just came to the capital. But I would cherish and protect you,¡± His voice, which started shyly, grew more and more confident. His black eyes contained only my face. ¡°I¡¯m better than Sir Allan, Miss Melissa.¡± * * * On the way back, he accompanied me and we walked hand in hand. It was not specifically intended. Also it wasn¡¯t because the weather was cold¡­. It was just that I stumbled a bit, taking care not to get muddy on my new dress as I passed the shallow puddle, and Tobias reflexively grabbed me. Can I say that I somehow missed the timing to retrieve my hand? ¡°If, Toby. Really, just in case.¡± ¡°Yes, Miss Melissa.¡± ¡°If my novel is selected¡­¡­ I will end up studying abroad.¡± It was somehow embarrassing for it to come out of my mouth. There was no choice but to say it and climb into a hole. He remained silent, but not as cold as Alan¡¯s. Rather, it was like an unspoken encouragement, as if listening to and telling me to continue. ¡°No matter how many years I have to be abroad, you¡­¡­.¡± The words ¡®Will you be okay?¡¯ didn¡¯t come out so I kept my lips shut. If I ask like that, we¡­..look like lovers. We are not lovers, nor have we promised to get married. He¡¯s twenty-six, so it won¡¯t be easy to just wait for me. My being indecisive was probably a tortuous hope. Even after knowing that I still couldn¡¯t bring myself to accept him. Because, no matter how caring Tobias is, one day he will see me for who I am. So, once he knows what kind of person I am, he will eventually¡­¡­ At that moment, I felt strength entering in his gloved hands. ¡°It¡¯s okay, Miss Melissa.¡± ¡°It¡¯s okay¡­?¡± ¡°Yes. If you are elected, you will go to the Lunoa Principality. I¡¯m going to sincerely cheer for you.¡± He gave me an additional explanation as I looked up with surprised eyes. ¡°Lunoa is where Sir Alan starts his new business next year.¡± ¡°Oh, then¡­..!¡± ¡°I¡¯ll do my best, too. So that I will be selected as Leopold¡¯s scholarship student and be by your side in the Lunoa Principality.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Melissa. He is the one. I think this person will be willing to embrace me even though he knows my long-standing inferiority complex and the emptiness deep in my heart. Love is not always instantaneously hot, burning your insides. The warmth of a small candle is enough to melt your frozen hands. Looking at him with such a thought, his face had a gentle smile. Even though it was still December, it was a smile that felt like spring was not far away. It was that time. ¡°Lady.¡± ¡°¡­¡­!¡± Suddenly, a strange man approached me from the roadside. Surprised, I hurriedly took a couple of steps back, covering my mouth. It was natural to release Toby¡¯s hand. ¡°My master told me to deliver this to you.¡± He suddenly held out a letter. When I trembled, Tobias blocked me and asked: ¡°Who¡¯s the owner of that letter?¡± ¡°¡­is the person named Malcolm Longerhan?¡± When I added, the man frowned silently. It didn¡¯t seem to be the answer. Seriously, the people of the Longhorns didn¡¯t have this rough impression nor this shabby outfit. As soon as I accepted the letter with a shivering face, the man quickly left. ¡°Who could it be?¡± ¡°Well¡­¡± I answered blankly and flipped the envelope with a strange face. Melissa Collins ¡°Gasp¡­!¡± ¡°Miss Melissa, what¡¯s wrong?¡± This strange handwriting is definitely that man. It belonged to the stalker. *** Comments from Korean readers: stalker? Did you fall in love with the letter? But I got goosebumps because he looks like a real stalker. I like Toby the best so far. What¡¯s with male Lead¡¯s personality? I can¡¯t understand his psychology. Ah Toby¡­ I really like it after watching this episode. ????? I feel like I¡¯m going to fall in love¡­.. Hey Alan¡­ What¡¯s wrong with you ?????? Chapter 22 - The Hwa Empire Chapter 22: The Hwa Empire ¡°Oh, it¡¯s nothing.¡± ¡°Your face doesn¡¯t say it¡¯s nothing¡­.¡± I hurriedly hid the letter behind my back. ¡°¡­¡­I forgot my mother asked me to come back early today. I¡¯ll have to hurry up.¡± ¡°Oh¡­ sure.¡± Fortunately, Toby accepted my clumsy lie without hesitation. So we started to walk again. We didn¡¯t hold hands again. ¡°Miss Melissa.¡± ¡°¡­..yes?¡± I was more surprised than I needed to be. Tobias will also know that I have been acting suspiciously since earlier. Somehow, my heart was in agony. ¡°To Mrs. Collins¡­¡­.¡± ¡°My mother?¡± ¡°When will I be able to greet her?¡± ¡°Oh¡­¡± It¡¯s been a while since my mother asked me to introduce him to her as well. I¡¯m just avoiding it. As for the reason, I¡¯m afraid if I introduce Tobias Miller to my mother, we¡¯ll admit that we¡¯re lovers on that day. I¡¯m afraid of us becoming each other¡¯s most important person. I¡¯m afraid that a kind of obligatory relationship will be established and I¡¯ll have to disclose everything about me¡ªcompletely exposed. I¡¯m afraid that once he gets to know me he will finally leave me, and I¡¯m afraid that there will be no one else to give me blind affection. I¡¯m afraid of starting a relationship without confidence. Oh, there¡¯s no need to be afraid of this. There won¡¯t be anything like that in the first place, I¡¯m sure of it. (T/N: as in she¡¯s confident this won¡¯t even progress into a serious relationship in the first place) People say. In order to love someone, you must first love yourself. Otherwise, it¡¯s not true love. It¡¯s not that I don¡¯t love myself, but in fact, I only love a small part of myself. I have affection for my enigmatic [like poetic or esoteric] and delicate sensibility, but I am incapable of loving my inferior exterior. The external includes not only the appearance but also all the background and conditions surrounding me. Even the outward personality. It¡¯s sad that I don¡¯t have confidence in myself because of these external factors. Because it is this external realm that defines a human being. That¡¯s what life is. In the end, people tend to judge your outward appearance. Will there ever be a single person in this whole wide world who will find my faint and delicate soul hidden deep inside my thin shell and deeply love it? When I was still a teenager, I had such similar thoughts. But now I have become a person who knows very well that it is a vain hope. Even if you try to believe that fairies or mermaids exist, you can¡¯t do that anymore. ¡°Ms. Melissa?¡± ¡°¡­..Next time, Toby.¡± ¡°Ah¡­ As expected, I was in a hurry.¡­.¡± When I saw Tobias, who was sincerely sorry, my heart ached. This feeling, at least, kept my mood from going to the worst. ¡°No, my mother is a very shy person.¡± Even though I¡¯m lying, I haven¡¯t hit bottom yet¡­¡­. * * * ¡°Sir Alan!¡± When Alan entered the mansion¡¯s parlor, the Longhorn¡¯s eldest son was already waiting for him. Malcolm jumped up from his seat and spoke politely. ¡°You were looking for me? I wonder if I arrived too late.¡­.¡± It wasn¡¯t something that someone who was waiting should say. To that extent, he had a low posture, and his standing posture was also not upright, possibly due to his slightly bent back. Alan, who subtly crumpled his forehead, replied to Malcolm, who wet his lips nervously. ¡°No, let¡¯s sit down.¡± Soon after, a hot steaming teacup was placed in front of Alan. A porcelain teacup with a blue bird and a vine plant painted in soft colors. Malcolm watched enchantedly as the elegant fingers wrapped in his black gloves clasped the cup. ¡°¡­is this an offering of negotiations?¡± ¡°That¡¯s right. This tea is to broker negotiations¡± Alan sighed with his eyes closed and brought the teacup to his lips. The Hwa Empire was a great power in the East that had just started trading with the Sorne Kingdom. The culture of the East, which was elegant and organized in a new way that had never been seen before, created a sensation as soon as it was introduced to the royal family. There were still very limited exchanges going on, and it was the Leopold family who was leading the exchange business on behalf of the royal family. ¡°The tea is very good, Sir Alan. You¡¯re leading the exchange with Hwa¡ª¡± ¡°Stop running your mouth.¡± In response to the cold response, Malcolm smoothed his dark brown hair as if embarrassed. ¡°Oh, is that so¡­.¡± The Longhorn family, engaged in the textile business, was a family that had been making uniforms for a long time. In recent years, they have been expanding their business by starting to get acquainted with the capital¡¯s large dressing rooms, but recently, they have been struggling to make the royal family their business partner. For them, the recognition of Leopold, who received absolute trust from the royal family, was nothing more than a gateway to enter the royal palace. It was not a short period of time that the eldest son of the Longhorn family, Malcolm, had been working hard to please Leopold¡¯s successor. But, Alan, who had never looked at him for a second, suddenly called him directly like this. ¡°I have something to check today, so I invited you.¡± Malcolm thought Alan wanted to talk about business. ¡°Yes Sir Alan. What is it?¡± ¡°Have you recently gifted an outfit under Longhorn¡¯s name?¡± ¡°What?¡± Malcolm, who was asked an unexpected question, was briefly lost in thought. ¡°If it¡¯s an outfit gift¡­¡­.¡± I had sent a dress to a lady, to whom I had disrespect at the victory ball the other day, as an apology, but how did he know? No, I mean, did that matter in the first place? ¡°I sent a dress to a person to whom I had disrespected but why are you asking?¡± ¡°Ah.¡± Alan, with his long legs slowly crossed, buried himself deeply in the antique mahogany chair and opened his mouth. ¡°One day, a woman who is always dressed in shabby looking clothes suddenly appeared in an expensive dress and credited Longhorn.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Aren¡¯t my close aides stationed all over the street?¡± Alan Leopold has led various charitable projects that even the royal family had neglected, such as relief projects for the poor and support for childcare centers across the country, not matching his cold atmosphere. Even the royal family admired the anecdote that the beggars, who seemed to dominate the street, were impressed by the good faith, stopped their evil deeds, and became loyal to the Leopold family. ¡°I wondered if the recent pickpocket case was raising its head again, but fortunately, it doesn¡¯t seem to be.¡± ¡°Yes¡­ I did give her a gift.¡± Even though he was ten years younger than Malcolm, he couldn¡¯t help but admire his magnanimity in caring for street security. At that moment, Alan¡¯s lips opened in a beautiful arc like a painting. ¡°Do you have anything else to apologize for?¡± ¡°¡­..What?¡± Malcolm, who did not understand the intention of the question, thought for a moment whether he heard it correctly. By chance, are you reprimanding or warning me for doing something that irritates you? ¡°No sir, it¡¯s not a particularly special attachment¡ªjust a one-time fluke¡­.¡­.¡± Fortunately, Alan, who muttered softly, drank the tea. In a straight, yet strangely overbearing attitude without any disturbance. Malcolm couldn¡¯t even fathom what was fortunate, but he couldn¡¯t help but shudder. ¡°Your business is over, so you can go back.¡± Alan, who had put the cup down before he knew it, got up. A nice smile hung around his mouth. Malcolm hurriedly opened his mouth. ¡°Excuse me, Sir Alan! The uniform of the Royal Guard¡­¡­!¡± But even before his words were over, Alan left the parlor. * * * Returning home, I went straight up to my room. It was clear that Julia would follow in, so first, I hid the stalker¡¯s letter between the books in the bookshelf. ¡°I¡¯ll help you take off your clothes!¡± As expected, the door opened wide and Julia entered. ¡°Yes, please.¡± There is no more expensive dress in my closet than this one. Perhaps that¡¯s why Julia handled my clothes with a more careful touch than usual. It was the same when she dressed me, with a light excitement read in the movements of her hands. ¡°Julia.¡± ¡°Yes, lady.¡± ¡°Do you want to try this on?¡± Julia stopped moving at my words. ¡°Me, me, me?¡± ¡°Pfft¡­¡± I couldn¡¯t help but laugh at her stunned response. I never had the bearings and attitude of a rich lady towards a maid. Julia knows that. First of all, I am not a rich lady, and I have never had a dress like this before, and Julia was not exactly a maid. Once our house had several servants, there was a widow working as a maid with a child. She ended up dying in a carriage accident. When my family declined and all the servants left, the only remaining one was the late widow¡¯s orphaned child who could not stand on her own feet and that child was Julia. She¡¯s too clumsy to officially call her a maid, and technically, it¡¯s not even an employment relationship, so she¡¯s closer to a family than a servant. Julia is such a child. ¡°After you try it on, just put it well in the closet. Do you want me to help you wear it?¡± ¡°I, I think I can wear this much by myself.¡± Unhidden excitement was reflected in Julia¡¯s voice. ¡°¡­.Thank you.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t Mention it.¡± When I smiled brightly, Julia, who hugged the red velvet dress to her chest, hurriedly left the room. whoo, After sighing a little, I finally pulled out the letter I had stuck between the books. For a letter sent by a stalker, it was quite full-fledged and sealed with wax. It was my first time seeing a seal, but it seemed to have the word ¡°Elwood.¡± written on it. My Lunoa language skills are not perfect, but they are probably right. Elwood. It¡¯s a name I¡¯ve never heard of. Like Tobias, he may be a nobleman who hasn¡¯t been in the capital for a while, or who doesn¡¯t often appear in society. Anyway, as I received this letter, I became a little more convinced in the idea that the stalker would be a person who has settled down here in Florin to some extent. There is also a possibility that he may be a Lunoa person or a person based in Lunoa. However, the moment I opened the letter, my eyes opened wide. It was because I encountered completely unexpected content. This was more of a one-sided requirement than a letter. The letter, which was ambiguous to call it a letter, ended with an unknown sentence. ¡°Mel! Melissa!¡± At first, Mrs. Kearney¡¯s cry that called me came. I shivered as if I had seen a nightmare. ¡°Come on down!¡± Anxiety was read in a somewhat urgent voice. As I rushed down to the first floor, I saw an old gentleman standing on the front door. ¡°Melissa¡­¡± It was the father of Viola, Mr. Graham. ¡°Mr. Graham? What brings you here¡­.¡± ¡°Melissa, please¡­¡­ Please meet Viola¡­¡­!¡± With his red eyes, he shed a trembling voice. ¡°She¡¯s going to die right away.¡­.¡± ¡°What¡­..?¡± ¡°Please, please¡­¡­.¡± *** Comments from Korean readers: Apart from male Lead¡¯s behavior, female lead also isn¡¯t likable because it feels like she¡¯s using Toby too much. She¡¯s not trying to forget Alan. If she weren¡¯t the main character, she¡¯d get cursed so much¡­ Honestly, male lead is just a real stalker. Can he be like this? Really? Did viola get a broken heart? Alan, you¡¯re such an insidious person. I thought something was between Alan and Malcolm well it¡¯s not ig I feel sorry for that guy Chapter 23 - The Broken Love Oath Chapter 23: The Broken Love Oath I don¡¯t know how I managed following Mr. Graham. I didn¡¯t know what was going on, but the moment I heard his terrible words, I was so surprised that I burst into tears. When I arrived at Viola¡¯s house, my face was already messed up with tears. ¡°Melissa.¡± ¡°Mrs. Graham..¡­.¡± Mrs. Graham stood in front of the tightly closed door with tears dropping. We stood face to face with painful faces that looked just like each other. ¡°She won¡¯t open the door for me¡­¡­. Would you like to talk to her?¡± ¡°¡­..Yes, I will.¡± Sure enough. Viola¡¯s sobs leaked from inside the door. As if she had been crying for a while, her husky voice sounded cracked. ¡°Viola.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°It¡¯s me, Melissa. Please open the door.¡± It¡¯s hard to believe that the bright and cheerful Viola declared she was going to die, but the fear of what would happen if she didn¡¯t even let me in came flooding in like a tide. ¡°I¡¯ll listen to everything for you.¡­.¡± At that moment, I heard the door knob turning. ¡°Viola!¡± ¡°Come on in, Mel.¡± As I quickly entered the room and closed the door, I couldn¡¯t take my eyes off her face. ¡°Oh my god¡­¡± Her face was horrible. Her lips were chapped, eyes were red like a rabbit¡­¡­. ¡°Viola¡­¡± I embraced my one and only best friend and gently patted her trembling back. By the time I felt her tears calm down little by little, I asked quietly. ¡°What¡¯s going on, huh?¡± ¡°Melissa, Jacob¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Jacob?¡± I held my breath. The first and last time I met him was on the night of the Victory Ceremony. The impression itself was good, his polite manners were adequate for our single meeting. Did something happen to him? ¡°What¡¯s wrong with Jacob? Viola?¡± ¡°Jacob¡­..hid his child¡­¡­.¡± ¡°What? What does that mean?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Jacob has a child?¡± Viola burst into tears as if crying again. ¡°¡­What should I do, Melissa¡­¡­.¡± I couldn¡¯t believe what she said, so I just blinked vaguely. It was the only thing Viola managed to confide me before she broke down sobbing and ran out of breath. Jacob had a lover he met when he was seventeen. One day, she disappeared without saying a word and he was deeply heartbroken. To the point where he thought he would never love again. However, it seemed that she, who disappeared, was carrying Jacob¡¯s child in her womb. The woman, who was suffering from hardships of life, finally took her life, and the woman¡¯s family sent the orphaned child to Jacob.¡­. ¡°I was taking a walk by myself a while ago, but a neighbor came and asked¡­¡­ if I know that Jacob has a child.¡­.¡± Viola had recently been in Piccom. At first, it was only the weekend, but the days in the capital gradually decreased. Without Tobias, I wouldn¡¯t have had anyone to meet. At this rate, I thought that news of marriage might be delivered suddenly, but something really unimaginable happened. ¡°When I heard that, I immediately questioned him¡­ At first he denied it¡­.¡± ¡°Did he eventually admit it?¡± Viola buried her face in her palm and shook her head. Her delicate trembling shoulders were pitiful. ¡°So Jacob didn¡¯t know that he had a child?¡± ¡°¡­¡­He really didn¡¯t know until the child appeared.¡± ¡°How old is he¡­?¡± ¡°Three years old¡­ haa¡­¡­.¡± This was a really, really absurd situation. Jacob¡¯s three-year-old son is now living at his cousin¡¯s house, she said. ¡°Viola, what did your parents say?¡± ¡°Just marry him¡­¡­. It¡¯s a good family¡­¡­ many people know we¡¯ve been courting for a while now.¡± ¡°¡­..What are you going to do?¡± ¡°I can¡¯t do it, Melissa. It¡¯s over¡­.¡± It wasn¡¯t like Viola, who had been begging me to start dating right away not so long ago. ¡°I don¡¯t believe in love¡­¡­.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Somehow I became uncontrollably sad and hugged her tightly. * * * Viola thanked me. She said that just sharing the story with me gave her some strength. After comforting Viola, saying that tomorrow would be a better day, I left her home, who fell into the world of sleep like waves. I think that a person who comforts shouldn¡¯t be shaken and should be reliable enough to lean on. That¡¯s why I tried to act calm in front of my friend. But I was also shocked by Jacob¡¯s story. It is true that the affectionate appearances of him and Viola made me feel a positive appreciation for love. When I imagined me and Tobias, who might become lovers someday, I would naturally overlap the two of us with the appearance of Viola and Jacob. They were the closest and most firm role models for me. But if reality is that, the same man who can vow love to his lover for the rest of his life is also deceiving his lover¨Cwould Tobias be any different? I¡¯m not sure at all. Toby and I are not as deep as they are in the first place, so it will be much easier to face the end of the relationship for whatever reason. Even though I was afraid to open up myself, I only knew a small part of him. Even after becoming an adult, I don¡¯t understand the hearts of men. Nevertheless, as I took Viola¡¯s worry and care into consideration, I began to pour my heart into Toby with a similar sincerity. This is very meaningful. It was for this reason that I decided not to go to New Ditch and hid the incident about the stalker. Of course, it would be his achievement to open my heart this much by doing the best. Everything is going well, but I feel I¡¯m starting to become more and more passive in my relationship with Toby these days. What could it be because of? Viola and Jacob¡¯s shocking story cannot be the cause as I came to know today. Then, is it because I didn¡¯t go to New Ditch right away? Are my feelings for him fading because I missed the hottest period? It was a pretty plausible guess, but unfortunately, I suddenly realized the answer. No, I must say I knew it from the beginning. This is all because of Alan Leopold, who saved me from the white snow. This is because his arms that saved me kept me from thinking of any other man. Of course, Alan was only doing his duty as a gentleman, and any noble man would have stretched his arms without hesitation. I also know from my past experience that he will not take a look at me even if I expressed my gratitude. I can perfectly draw even the expressions he would make. Nevertheless, I am obsessed with the idea of wanting to live in his shadow without despair, and desperately kissing his traces. Alan is a fantasy to me. Perhaps that¡¯s why, when I think of him, I¡¯m trapped in a distant universe. Unfortunately or fortunately, in a distant reality that even the stalker¡¯s gaze next to me is considered insignificant. Even so, the stalker¡¯s requirements should not be ignored. It¡¯s foolish to go against his misconduct in a situation where I don¡¯t know what¡¯s going to happen, so for the time being, I need to follow his demands and look at the situation¡­¡­. I¡¯m relieved that everything he asked for was doable. Don¡¯t go to New Ditch. This request was already the second time. I didn¡¯t go to New Ditch as he told me to. Toby and I talked about going there around April, but wouldn¡¯t the stalker leave me by then? If not, I can delay it a little longer. Visit Antris at least three times a week. Even if my house¡¯s income is not great, my allowance is not enough to not be able to drink three cups of coffee a week. Of course, if I go to the coffee shop three times a week, it will be difficult to buy the necessary things, but shopping can be on hold as I will be busy writing for a while anyway. As for novels, I started reading the novel < Fugitive> again, so there is no problem for the time being. You won¡¯t go home with that man. If you don¡¯t listen to me, I¡¯ll trample him. It¡¯s a little creepy, but technically, I can meet Toby, but we shouldn¡¯t go home together, right? Although it¡¯s hard to figure out how to do it, it¡¯s not an impossible requirement. Complete the novel. And don¡¯t show it to anyone. Write it only for me. It is no longer surprising that he knew I was writing a novel. He might have overheard my talk with Toby from the coffee shop¡ªwhile hearing about New Ditch¡ªor glanced sideways past me, who was absorbed in writing novels. But showing it to someone also includes sending it to the academy? I sincerely want to go to study abroad in the Principality of Lunoa, so I hope he doesn¡¯t mean I can¡¯t submit it. I don¡¯t know what it means to write for him, but what was more strange was the last sentence. You started it first. So, am I the one who caused him to stalk me and make these threatening requests? ¡°What¡­¡­¡± Could it be that he¡¯s mistaken me for some other person? I know it¡¯s an absurd idea, but if I was the one who made him a stalker, I should have done something or action against him. However, there are only a few people who I interact with, even if I were to count men and women. Excluding the people living with me, Viola and her family, Tobias, Greg, Viola¡¯s lover¡ªJacob, Longhorn, employees of bookstores, hat shop, and Antris coffee shop, ladies who talked or argued with me at the ball, and the doctor who took care of me. First of all, the first clue to the stalker is the colour of his hair, but unfortunately, none of them has red hair. Among the women. I don¡¯t know if it¡¯s that beautiful woman who was choosing a cake at Antris, but she didn¡¯t even make eye contact with me. Oh, wait. Come to think of it, there¡¯s one more person. ¡°Alan Leopold?¡± ¡­¡­At the moment, I was truly grateful that there was no one in the room except me. ¡°How foolish of me.¡± Even after I said it, my face was burning because I was embarrassed. This¡­ With a little exaggeration, isn¡¯t it my wish? What if he is madly admiring me because he feels the same way as me? So what if he¡¯s chasing every move I make tomorrow? It¡¯s not a coincidence that he saved me from the snow.¡­. ¡°Please, Melissa.¡± ¡­¡­There was no such delusion. I shook my head and broke my thoughts. You have to hurry to send the novel manuscript to the academy by March. The stopped hand quickly grabbed the pen. ¡°Wait a minute. Anyway, why does an idea come every time you try to start something? ¡°The red hair that covers that face¡­¡­.¡± As if it¡¯s disturbing him. ¡°Isn¡¯t it a wig?¡± *** Comments from Korean readers: Even if the main character had a previous life, she was hospitalized since middle school and passed away early, so her mental age should be considered as a high school student at best to a new adult level. It¡¯s true that her response is too unrealistically passive and compliant, so it¡¯s a little out of it, but I think it¡¯s not a ridiculous situation considering her emotional and soft voice, low self-esteem, and mental age¡­ You listen to the stalker so well. Weren¡¯t you possessed? You don¡¯t know what a stalker is? The stalker would disappear on his own? No matter how low your self-esteem is, isn¡¯t it too complacent? The writer¡¯s style and atmosphere are so nice. Please take good care of us until the end! The novel¡¯s heroine may be frustrating because active and enterprising women are in trend these days, but considering the background of the novel, she must have had a family education suitable for the times, and in her past life, she died in the dark in the past. Personally, I am enjoying this novel! She can¡¯t help but listen to him in that situation. Even if she reports it, she can¡¯t catch him, point fingers, and the stalker is a rich man, the police are on the rich side, and the stalker mentioned to watch her family, Mel¡¯s actions are not the answer, but that¡¯s the only choice. Chapter 24 - Who Is It? Chapter 24: Who Is It? Why didn¡¯t I think the stalker¡¯s hair could be a wig? I stopped writing my novel and started taking notes on one side of my notebook. Signalment: A man with long hair that hides his face, tall and wearing black clothes ¡°Let¡¯s say his hair is a wig, and he can change his clothes at any time, so it¡¯s out of the discussion.¡± I wrote down a list of ¡°tall men¡± among the people around me Tobias, Mr. Greg, Jacob, Longhorn, Antris¡¯ attendant, AI¡­¡­. ¡°¡­¡­Stop it, Melissa.¡± I drew a line over Alan¡¯s name that I had not yet completed. Then there are five people left. There may be a real stalker among them. I breathed in with a determined expression. First of all, Tobias witnessed the stalker and was even mentioned in that threatening letter, absolutely not. Ruled out Greg, a butcher, is also a stalker¡¯s whistleblower, but he doesn¡¯t have time to follow me. He¡¯s one of the busiest people in Florin, so of course he¡¯s excluded¡­¡­. Next is Jacob. He is a Piccom person. Of course, if there are social events, he sometimes comes to the capital, but on the weekend when the stalker appeared, he was definitely with Viola in Piccom. Ruled out because it has a perfect alibi. Who¡¯s left? ¡°¡­Malcolm Longhorn, Antris¡¯ server. It¡¯s just these two.¡± Mr. Longhorn sent an expensive dress because of the mistake he made. Even though I had told him it was okay. Perhaps this is not just a favor. Now that I think about it, the situation in which he suddenly grabbed my wrist at the ball and dragged me to the terrace was somewhat unnatural. From what I¡¯ve heard, they seemed like a family running a fairly large business. That¡¯s pretty much in line with my hypothesis. It¡¯s because he has enough wealth to easily buy people and has enough influence in the capital ¡°We may need to see each other again.¡± When we met at the National Theater, I was so embarrassed, and as soon as I confirmed that he was not Alan, I was relieved and couldn¡¯t take a closer look. For example, the eyes of the person looking at me or the subtle expression on his face. His gift was too much for me, so if I just said I wanted to thank him in person, it would be a good excuse to meet him again. Of course, if he is a real stalker, it would be dangerous, but if I am on guard, I can distinguish whether he is a stalker or not at once. The key is to decide the time and place as safe as possible. ¡°Next is¡­¡± The server at the Antris coffee shop. There are many employees of Antris, but there is one person who has become particularly acquainted with me. A man with neatly slicked-back pomade blonde hair, and pale gray eyes. It may be because of his strong work ethic, but he is exceptionally kind to me. One of the reasons I always go to Antris. No matter what the profession is, it will never be common to find such a thoughtful and gentle person. So¡­¡­ There are enough reasons to doubt. It is bitter to doubt the kindness that is shown towards me but it keeps bothering me that the stalker¡¯s letter directly stipulated Antris. Isn¡¯t it the intention to keep me in his sight as much as possible? Perhaps, the stalker is deeply related to that place¡ªAntris. Antris was where Toby saw him, and Antris was where we talked about New Ditch and my novel. ¡®¡­¡­Are you saying that you¡¯re being stalked?¡¯ Maybe the server took my story seriously, which might sound absurd¡­¡­. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± I guess I¡¯ll just have to use the orthogonal method. I can meet him without having to decide the time and place. Even if it¡¯s tomorrow. I drew a large circle around the word ¡®Antris¡¯ server.¡¯ * * * In the indoor garden of Leopold¡¯s mansion, various flowers were in full bloom making you forget what season it was. The octagonal glass greenhouse was filled with flowers that were colorful enough to attract attention. The space was full of the fragrant scent of flowers and tea, and the singing of birds in golden cages hanging was so beautiful that it was reminiscent of another world. But Alan Leopold¡¯s lips, who was sitting cross-legged in the middle, were tightly closed. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Bentley¡¯s face was seen smiling over the three-tiered tray on the table. Alan tried to look indifferent as the least courtesy to the royal family but his examining eyes were twisted with displeasure because of the prince¡¯s sudden visit. Who was wasting his time to come and drink tea suddenly. ¡°Are you busy these days?¡± Bentley, who ate macarons on the tray without taking off his gloves, asked. Looking through his disorganized blonde hair and pink crumbs around his mouth, Alan crumpled his forehead and closed his eyes. And added coldly. ¡°When was I ever not busy?¡± ¡°I wanted to celebrate your birthday with you. We¡¯re close friends.¡± Ha. Alan let out a scornful laugh. Nevertheless, the prince found it fascinating because he felt it was more noble that rude Under the orders of the royal family, the two have spent a lot of time together. Since childhood, they learnt horseback riding together and often went hunting. This was intended to build a strong bond between the two children who will lead the future of the kingdom. Alan was the only child and Bentley didn¡¯t have a brother, so the two seemed to be good friends. However, as the prince slowly began to deviate before his coming-of-age*, Alan began to distance himself openly from him. It had been several years since the relationship between the two had turned into a one-sided relationship like now. (* This means the prince indulged in lust, drugs and etc) In fact, Alan was not in a position to criticize the prince¡¯s behavior of rolling around with women or doing all kinds of disturbances under the influence of alcohol and drugs. He didn¡¯t find it interesting but merely gross, so he just didn¡¯t accompany him since neither the prince nor he were saints or monks. He was just very happy to have a good reason to stay away from the annoying prince. The problem was that Bentley had no intention of giving up on this shallow friendship. Alan let out a languid low voice. ¡°My birthday is not a big deal, I was busy with work.¡± ¡°Work¡±? Bentley¡¯s half-closed eyes opened wide as if he was interested. ¡°On your birthday, you went out before dinner. You weren¡¯t in the mansion or the office either.¡± ¡°¡­.You came to see me during that heavy snow? ¡°Where did you go? Are you trying to make an excuse that you went on a business trip through that heavy snow?¡± The prince, who moved his upper body forward, made eye contact with grayish-blue eyes seen over the tray. Alan did not avoid his gaze, but no other emotions other than boredom were read from him. For Alan, who lived in solitude since he was born, loneliness wasn¡¯t something he had to endure. Rather, he thought that it was indispensable to life, close to the air. That¡¯s why he felt tired and displeased with people approaching him. Pretentious, sometimes disgustingly pesky, useless, and unproductive. That was the ¡®relationship¡¯ defined by Alan. The prince, who always showed unwavering friendliness, was no exception. Alan, holding the teacup, said. ¡°I told you not to come without contacting me. Is getting hit by the wind a hobby?¡± (T/N: meaning he walked through the snow on his birthday for nothing) Is it a trend? Alan, who thought of Monica, shrugged a little. It was a cold voice like the winter in the north, but the prince smiled as if he were familiar with it. ¡°You said it well.¡± The long, horizontally torn lips soared to the fullest. (T/N: He is smirking) ¡°Didn¡¯t you create a new hobby? If that¡¯s the case, I hope we can have some fun together.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Is it a girl?¡± Bentley shoved the half macaron into his mouth and raised his arm. The maid, who was standing with a teapot, hurriedly left the greenhouse at the prince¡¯s gesture. At the same time, Alan opened his mouth. ¡°Don¡¯t cross the line, your highness.¡± Bentley shook his head at the cold voice. ¡°What did you say, Alan?¡± ¡°Mind your business. Didn¡¯t you hear that?¡± As Alan growled fiercely, the prince made a fuss, busily sweeping down the golden shoulder decorations. ¡°Woah¡­¡­! I like it when you treat me like this.¡± Bentley asked again, with his gleaming golden-brown eyes. ¡°Who is it? What are you hiding?¡± ¡°You¡¯re persistent.¡± ¡°Who the hell did you spend your birthday with? Huh?¡± ¡°Whoever I hide, it¡¯s none of your business.¡± Alan replied coldly. But, obviously, he admits it strangely. It was difficult for the prince to control his wild curiosity. ¡°Ms. Elwood?¡± ¡°Are you crazy?¡± Monica Elwood, a distant relative of Leopold, had been introduced by Alan. It was not long after the two boys became friends. Not recently, but there have been several times when the three of them ate together. But Alan denied it straight away. ¡°She¡¯s family.¡± ¡°What¡¯s wrong with being distant relatives? She¡¯s a beauty. It seems like there are rumors on the streets lately¡± When the prince added in a calm tone, Alan, who was tilting the teacup, put the cup down with a sharp sound. His face, as cold as ice, was like pure white porcelain. ¡°Can¡¯t you just tell me a little bit? I¡¯m going crazy with curiosity, Sir Alan.¡± ¡°Stop being crazy. Because it looks like I¡¯m going to be angry.¡± ¡°You are hiding something delicious. I can¡¯t even sleep at night.¡± The prince, who whined like a joke, laughed long. He was tenacious, as if he wouldn¡¯t back down easily. It was obvious that Alan¡¯s return to work would be delayed any longer if he did not soothe him roughly. He let out a languid sigh and answered indifferently while stroking the pure white cravat. ¡°I¡¯ve got a new hobby.¡± The one who is meticulous and had the family business left to mange is acting suspiciously¡ªthere is no way he would pick up a mere hobby especially during an important time when he is busy launching his new business to prove his worth to the family Originally, it was a luxury to have a leisurely daily life, but it was the first time he was busy like these days. He was working on a murderous schedule between his business preparation and existing work with the determination to do it perfectly. Bentley, who could not understand such a truth, immediately smiled. ¡°It¡¯s nice to hear that! It¡¯s not good to be immersed in work. Sometimes you have to get some fresh air.¡± It is not something that the prince should say¡ªwho left all his work to the chieftain and the prime minister, but Alan answered with sincerity in his own way. ¡°I am already doing that. I even cut down on my sleep time because of my hobbies.¡± Alan, who was touching his stiff eyelids, suddenly smiled. With that picturesque smile, Bentley forgot his words for a moment. ¡°So will you go back now, your Highness?¡± When Alan waved the bell on the table, the servant ran and bowed his head. ¡°Call a horseman.¡± ¡°¡­I¡¯ll go¡± The prince, smiling despondently, stretched out and raised himself. At least he heard an honest answer, so it wasn¡¯t in vain. ¡°I¡¯ll come again¡± Bentley, who turned around leaving Alan holding a teacup without an answer, thought, I must find out what my noble friend¡¯s hobby is. Still, he was just having a boring and somewhat dreary day because of his father¡¯s scoldings. ¡°How interesting.¡± There will be no more pleasant entertainment than this. *** Comments from Korean readers: Oh, my. Hobby: Stalking. The combination of the crazy and the crazy! Talking informally (to the prince) all of a sudden? That¡¯s great. Male lead who has power is great. Prince is really doing useless things. Alan, the part where it¡¯s ¡°Planning Fox¡±¡­When there¡¯s someone else (maid), he speaks formally but alone, he speaks informally¡­I think they usually talk informally, but maybe because he is perfectionist, and meticulous. I think he feels different T/N: fyi Alan was talking formally to prince only till the maid was there, as soon as she left he switched to talking informally Chapter 25 - Love….is a Luxury Chapter 25: Love¡­.is a Luxury Wearing two layers of white chemise, I put on a poplin dress and a Spencer jacket tightly over them. Even though I completely wrapped my shoulders and back with a thick shawl made of wool, I was shivering when I left the house. Today is the coldest day of the winter so far this year. I didn¡¯t want to get sick again from the terrible fever, so I tightened my shawl and hastened my steps. Before heading to the downtown coffee shop, I stopped by Viola¡¯s house. It was my intention to invite my best friend, who is in unprecedented sorrow over a recent breakup, to go to Antress with me. In fact, it¡¯s dangerous to lock yourself up in your room when you¡¯re sad. Especially for a person like Viola who is naturally bright and cheerful. When it came to things like this, I felt a responsibility towards Viola to model ways to cheer her up since I was older and we were best friends. The ingredients needed to overcome sadness are simpler than expected. Friends, walks, and a cup of warm coffee. The effect has already been proven by many of my experiences. These three things are definitely helpful. I went there with that confidence. ¡°I¡¯m fine, Mel.¡± Viola turned me down. In a hoarse voice as if swallowing sand. ¡°Viola¡­¡± What do you mean you¡¯re okay, with swollen eyes? Even with that thought, there was nothing I could do but clench my hand tightly. ¡°I just¡­ I just need time to think alone. Don¡¯t worry too much.¡± Her dry face, shriveled up, was now smiling at me helplessly. It was a soft tone, but I was heartbroken because I could only hear her asking me to leave. I already prepared my shoulders and ears for you to lean on¡­¡­. Of course, there may be moments when you want to be lost in thought alone. Without any interference. However, I couldn¡¯t help but feel worried even though I knew that. It¡¯s not about anyone else, but about my only best friend, Viola Graham. ¡°If you need my help, please let me know. Whenever and whatever it is.¡± ¡°Yes¡­. Still, it¡¯s much better to see your face. Thank you.¡± Viola whispered in a hoarse voice. Now I have nothing more to say. I have no choice but to hug her body that is half a span smaller than me. I only hoped that my sincerity would reach her and she would return to being the bright and cheerful woman as soon as possible. * * * Heading to the coffee shop alone I breathed in the cold air, I was constantly preoccupied with the idea of love. What is love? There are other valuable and precious things in life besides love. It may seem ridiculous for a young girl to say this, but as a body that has suffered one death, I can say it for sure. That being alive is wonderful in itself. So, even if the present reality feels unhappy and lonely, I still think it is worth living. It¡¯s like that even now. Because I¡¯m alive, I can admire the scene where the sun hidden behind the clouds pulls out a brilliant silver thread, and I can also feel a innate sense of the cold wind entering and exiting my lungs. The sound of my cheerful steps on the stone streets of the city with my old heels sounds as lovely as a dance song. And my light wavy hair swaying behind my back makes me feel so good. So, a life without love cannot be a failure. Without trying to find any grand meaning, without being thirsty for someone¡¯s recognition, you are already precious because you are alive. In my past life and even now, I have always been ordinary and timid, but this is the reason why I am willing to endure and cherish myself like this. ¡°Surely, just because you don¡¯t know true love doesn¡¯t mean you don¡¯t know the value of life.¡± Passing through the empty alley, I muttered with a muffled voice. I have no choice but to admit how great the feeling of love is, even though I have never experienced it. Everyone agrees. When it comes to love, it¡¯s amazing and ecstatic and makes you feel as if you¡¯re walking on the water. I¡¯ve already heard countless times that people finally found the meaning of life through love. In the end, it¡¯s back to square one. Thanks to the person I admire, if it feels like I¡¯m in tears several times a day and then I¡¯m happy, I¡¯ve also tasted it with unrequited love. Certainly it is magical. Even if it¡¯s not a very pleasant experience. But what is it like being born in that world like? I don¡¯t know. ¡°Love¡­¡± From what I¡¯ve seen and heard, I suddenly thought that love might be like a deep sea. Something absolutely overwhelming, beautiful, and infinitely humbling At the same time, if you go in too deep, you might be swallowed, or might lose yourself forever without getting out. But if that¡¯s really love, wouldn¡¯t that be okay? If you get lost in love, there may be no more perfect rest. No, maybe it¡¯s the opposite. You might go crazy because of that bursting happiness, or because of hell-like anxiety.¡­. ¡°¡­.. huh?¡± When I came to my senses, I was in front of Antris. I had already walked for an hour, forgetting about the cold. I couldn¡¯t believe I thought about love the whole time to understand and chase away my ruminations on the stalker¡¯s disgusting nature. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± It¡¯s a luxury. * * * The server, who wore a wrinkle-free white shirt, a black vest, and undistorted pomade hair, had a bewildered face. This was the second time that surprised him. ¡°For me¡­.you have a question?¡± He was definitely on duty, but I decided to rely on the kindness and goodwill he had shown me so far. ¡°Yes.¡± Above all, I was nervous about meeting him separately outside because I couldn¡¯t rule out the possibility that he might be the stalker. ¡°It won¡¯t take long. So if you can sit in front of me for a second¡­¡­.¡± The streets of Florin, which were hit by the freezing cold, were quiet. Naturally, there were only a few tables occupied here in Antress. So I thought he would say yes without difficulty. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, but I can¡¯t do that, Miss.¡± ¡°Ah¡­¡± All my actions stopped because of his unexpected firm refusal. Why is he refusing? Is he really¡­¡­. Then the server added. ¡°I¡¯m on duty right now and I¡¯m also wearing a uniform.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°No matter how many customers there are, it¡¯s not the right thing to do. Instead, I¡¯ll stand like this and listen to you.¡± I just blinked several times at his unexpected remarks. ¡°If it¡¯s a sensitive story, please tell me quietly. I¡¯ll lean down and listen.¡± At this point, I already felt it. This man won¡¯t be a stalker. In the mellow piano melody, a quiet conversation between the server and me continued. He listened to me talking about the stalker disturbance with his upper body leaning down neatly. Sometimes he nodded, and sometimes he was surprised and asked back. He seemed embarrassed that I had thought that maybe he might have been the stalker, but after hearing all the circumstances, he understood me. ¡°I¡¯m really sorry if I was rude.¡­.¡± ¡°¡­¡­I understand, Miss. Imagine how scary it must have been. Rather, in order to relieve you of any anxiety I want to reassure you that I am not your stalker.¡± He looked at me with his pale gray eyes. There were no lies, but only worry and concern in his eyes. ¡°As you know, I work here every day of the week. Oh, I also have a lover I am devoted to. For your information¡­.¡± My lover is not a woman. When he added in a low voice, I was taken by surprise. I was grateful. I did not know that he would reveal his private secrets that could be used against him¡ªjust to alleviate my anxiety. ¡°Then¡­¡­!¡± However, this reaction would not be polite. I struggled to hide my expression. ¡°¡­ You did.¡± ¡°If you¡¯re so nervous, will you let me help you?¡± ¡°Yes¡­ How? No, why?¡± The server smiled quietly at me, when I expressed how surprised I was with my whole body. ¡°You¡¯re a regular customer, and in the spirit of customer service there¡¯s nothing I can¡¯t help you with as an employee here.¡± ¡°Oh¡­¡± ¡°If you tell me the stalker¡¯s description, I¡¯ll always keep that in mind and look out for him. As I said, I spend most of my time here.¡± If he comes out like this, there is no reason to refuse. I quickly opened my lips. ¡°He has long, bright red hair.¡± ¡°Miss.¡± The server narrowed the forehead gently. ¡°That¡¯s not the stalker. The young girl you asked me about before¡ª¡± ¡°¡­..No, it¡¯s not that woman.¡± I can¡¯t believe he suddenly reminded me of my crush¡¯s lover. I got a little embarrassed, but I tried hard to continue. ¡°That stalker is a man. He is tall and usually wears black. He is not dressed like a rag.¡± ¡°A tall man with long red hair.¡± The server, who murmured in a low voice, looked up at the chandelier hanging from the ceiling for a moment and then turned to me. ¡°Well, I think I know who you¡¯re talking about¡­¡­.¡± ¡°¡­..You know?¡± His unexpected reaction opened my eyes so wide that it couldn¡¯t get any bigger. However, the server had a slightly complicated expression. ¡°But if you say he¡¯s your stalker¡­¡­ I can¡¯t agree with you.¡± ¡°Why?¡± ¡°Because he¡¯s the owner of this place.¡± ¡°Ow¡­¡­?¡± (Owner) The red-haired man is the owner of the Antris coffee shop? I just licked my lips with a blank face as if I had been hit on my head with a blunt weapon. ¡°There are times when he comes in that way, but no matter when and how he comes, I¡¯ve been ordered to treat him like a normal customer.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Of course, he has no reason to be a stalker.¡± I just couldn¡¯t understand where the conviction came from. How great and noble the owner of Antris is. ¡°Who is he?¡± ¡°Oh¡­ Don¡¯t you know?¡± However, the server¡¯s voice sounded rather strange. ¡°Although it was only last month that he bought Antris, I thought you would have heard it because it was quite noisy.¡± ¡°I didn¡¯t hear it.¡± No matter how socially isolated I was¡ªEven recently, there were many days when I was afraid to go out and lock myself in the house¡ªI didn¡¯t care anymore. Now, there¡¯s nothing to be ashamed of or hide. With that mind, I continued to talk straight away. ¡°So can you tell me?¡± ¡°¡­..It¡¯s Mr. Leopold, Miss.¡± But his answer wasn¡¯t anything I guessed. ¡°Mr. Leopold, he took over this place.¡± *** Comments from Korean readers: ? ? He bought a store to see the girl he is interested in. Someone who has no reason to be a stalker. It¡¯s so suspicious and it makes it even more suspicious. He is rich. Using money for stalking, too. Wow ¡­.his flex man¡­. Chapter 26 - The Heroine of My Novel Chapter 26: The Heroine of My Novel ¡°The Leopold family¡­¡­.¡± Sitting on an old balloon white chair, my mother, who was embroidering, asked with a bewildered expression. ¡°They bought a coffee shop downtown?¡± It was a reaction that I had seen for the first time, but I wasn¡¯t particularly surprised. My mother is not social either, and after my father left the capital, she didn¡¯t even go out. ¡°Yes, mom. Antress. I heard they took over last month.¡± I and Mrs. Kerney were sitting at the feet of my mother and folding the dried laundry. ¡°Hmm, why? They already have a few businesses. It¡¯s fascinating that they have spare hands left.¡± Mumbling in a low voice, Mrs Kerney folded the white tablecloth. It was the last of the laundry. Originally, my mother, who would have poured out criticism close to accusations over Leopold¡¯s enormous wealth and honor, spoke with a finite voice. ¡°I guess it¡¯s like a change of mood.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± It¡¯s so unrealistic that I often forget it, but every time I see my mother¡¯s change of attitude, it makes me realize that Alan saved my life. Then, without fail, my heart pounds. But I¡¯m folding the laundry like nothing happened. I was afraid it might burst out like this. ¡°Mel, you¡¯re not having a fever again, are you?¡± Seeing my mother look worried, I guess I blushed like a ripe tomato again. As the cold wave continued day after day, my mother became more worried. What if I get sick again? Mrs. Kerney also talked to me with worried eyes. ¡°Melissa, you¡¯re done now, so go up and rest. Thank you.¡± ¡°Oh, yes.¡± I raised myself awkwardly. Anyway, within March, I have to write the novel halfway through and send it to the academy, so I felt urgency. So, there is no need to reject this favor. I¡¯m actually getting a fever on my face right now¡ªbecause of Alan Leopold¡ªand¡­¡­ ¡°Oh, Melissa. Do you happen to.¡± At that time, my mother stopped me as I was going up stairs. ¡°The money left in the cupboard¡­¡­.¡± What money all of a sudden? ¡°¡­..money?¡± I knew that when my mother had to buy groceries and necessities, she would keep her money in the inner corner of the cupboard. Usually, Mrs. Kerney or Julia went to the market with the money. ¡°Do you have any errands to run?¡± ¡°No¡­ No.¡± Soon after, my mother, who sighed slightly, dropped her gaze on the embroidery frame. I had some doubt about her expression At that moment, Mrs. Kerney looked at my mother and opened her mouth slightly. ¡°There¡¯s a lot to buy this time, so the amount was quite a lot.¡± ¡°But?¡± ¡°So I opened the cupboard to go out tomorrow, and it was empty¡­¡­.¡± I felt my mouth open automatically. ¡°¡­..Are you saying that the money disappeared?¡± ¡°Mrs. Kerney.¡± At that time, my mother¡¯s quiet voice rang in my ears. ¡°You know Melissa doesn¡¯t say anything even with a small allowance.¡± ¡°Oh! Of course, of course. I didn¡¯t mean that Melissa took the money, Mrs. Collins.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± I was lost in thought for a moment. Someone who came to my house¡ªMr. Greg who came to bring me meat, a thief who suddenly came in, a stalker¡­¡­ Anyway¡ªit¡¯s hard to think that he would have opened the door, entered the kitchen, opened the cupboard, and took out the money. Then who could it be? Of course it¡¯s Julia. In fact, it is true that it is difficult to easily understand that Julia would have done something like that. She¡¯s not a child with bad hand habits or a bad child. We all know that fact. I don¡¯t know what happened, but I thought it was necessary to listen to the story. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± My mother and Mrs. Kerney must be thinking the same thing as me. And they must be silent for exactly the same reason. In the heavy air, I quickly stepped towards my floor. ¡°But why did Julia¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Let me talk to her, Mrs. Collins.¡± There was a conversation between the two ladies behind my back, but I tried hard to ignore it. * * * Tuk, when I put down my pen and clasped my chin while supporting both cheeks. ¡°Or else?¡± It was a scene where Troy told the heroine who did not realize her love¡ªto stop running away, but I couldn¡¯t think of a strong line. What words could adequately express Troy¡¯s passionate love and obsession for the female protagonist? ¡°Hmm¡­¡± Even if it was difficult, it could not be this difficult. I tried to imagine it even by substituting Tobias and myself, but failed fiercely. Seriously, even if I became Toby¡¯s lover tomorrow right away, my love for him wouldn¡¯t be as desperate as this, so it¡¯s only natural. ¡°¡­¡­No, it would be hard to find a sad love anywhere else in the world.¡± I couldn¡¯t think of a clear line even after thinking for a long time, so I eventually fell into different thoughts. In fact, there was a voice that has been circling in my head all day from last evening without a break. The words from Antris¡¯ server that makes me unable to even focus on my novel that I couldn¡¯t write. ¡®Mr. Leopold, he has taken over this place.¡¯ ¡°Really¡­.¡± Mr. Leopold is now single after three divorces. This was a fact that everyone in the kingdom knew. But does that mean he¡¯s a stalker? Even if the stalker wasn¡¯t Ian Leopold, I couldn¡¯t understand why anyone would be a stalker, but still¡ª Mr. Leopold? ¡°It doesn¡¯t make sense.¡± Of course, even a reputable, rich person should be a suspect of crimes. This is my old theory. But Leopold, the kingdom¡¯s top businessman and wealthy man, secretly follows Melissa Collins¡­¡­. ¡°It¡¯s a story that would make even that sad Viola laugh.¡± Objectively, I am not such a great person to be followed by a busy business tycoon. Although it is a subjective matter. It¡¯s not pleasant for me to think like this either. But this is a very obvious fact. To the point where it¡¯s funny to think about it The conclusion I came to was that it was such a nonsensical hypothesis that it was only a waste of time to think about it. It¡¯s a completely different story that Mr. Leopold appeared at the coffee shop wearing a red wig.¡­ but even with my great imagination I cannot think of why. Melissa, let¡¯s stop wandering in a maze without an exit, you have a lot to write. Blinking hard, I clenched my pen with a stiff look and forced myself to focus. It was just that moment. ¡°¡­ Oh, I thought of something good.¡± Like a miracle, Troy¡¯s line came to mind. A line that captures the relationship between the two in a very desperate yet dramatic way. ¡°Stop running away from me. Or else¡­¡­.¡± I wrote down what would follow with a light heart. ¡°I¡¯m going to lock you up.¡± * * * We met at the Libre coffee shop, not at Antris, where we usually meet. It¡¯s not as comfortable as Antris and there¡¯s no kind service, but¡ª ¡°What? That means, that red-haired man¡­¡­.¡± At least it wasn¡¯t taken over by the Leopolds. Yet. ¡°The head of Leopold, Ian Leopold?¡± Toby, who heard my story, narrowed his forehead. ¡°That doesn¡¯t make sense, Miss Melissa.¡± ¡°Right? It¡¯s not someone else. What¡¯s wrong with him¡ª¡± ¡°No, that¡¯s not what I meant.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I understand that Mr. Leopold is well over fifty. But the man I saw¡­¡­.¡± Tobias ruffled good soft light brown hair. He looked puzzled and confused. ¡°¡­¡­He was very young. I couldn¡¯t see the face well, but I¡¯m sure.¡± ¡°But he definitely said Mr. Leopold.¡± ¡°That¡­ he must have meant his son.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± At those words, I held my breath. Obviously I was almost certain that Ian Leopold couldn¡¯t be a stalker, and that some sort of coincidence or misunderstanding must have been there. ¡°Sir Alan?¡± Alan Leopold wasn¡¯t even on the list of suspects at all. Mr. Alan? I¡¯m not speculating now that he¡¯s not my stalker. Exactly, there is no need to guess. There¡¯s no chance that Alan is my stalker. ¡°Yes. I think it¡¯s close to that¡­¡­ body or height¡­¡­.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Tobias slightly scratched his temple with his index finger and added awkwardly. ¡°¡­Of course, that man couldn¡¯t possibly be Sir Alan.¡± ¡°Yes, I agree.¡± Of course, I think so. If he¡¯s really a stalker, it means that he bought the coffee shop after seeing I¡¯ve been going to Antris a lot lately. No matter how easily I fall into daydreaming, that kind of¡­¡­. I quickly captured my expression and continued. ¡°Actually, there¡¯s one more person to check.¡± ¡°Who is that?¡± ¡°It¡¯s Mr. Longhorn, who sent me a dress.¡± At my words, Tobias¡¯s black eyes trembled slightly, then sank slowly. He quietly turned his gaze down as if he was studying the grain of wood on the table, when finally he looked at me. ¡°Miss Melissa, why don¡¯t you take me when you visit him?¡± I pondered for a moment because I did not know Toby¡¯s intentions. He must be worried that I¡¯m going to meet a man who might be the stalker. ¡°No, Toby.¡± But I decided to politely express my rejection. Because we¡¯re not yet officially together, there¡¯s not enough reason for him to be present when I go to meet someone. ¡°Thank you. But I¡¯ll go alone.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Tobias, who must have understood what I meant, silently nodded his head. However, his eyes were still engulfed in worries, as if they were about to overflow. ¡°I¡¯ll think about a safe place and time. And I¡¯ll tell you right after I meet him, Toby.¡± ¡°¡­. alright, Miss Melissa.¡± We paused for a while, looking at each other like people who forgot what to say. After a short silence, he opened his mouth. ¡°When will you meet Longhorn?¡± ¡°Well, I have to send a letter, so wouldn¡¯t it take a week?¡± ¡°Within a week.¡± Toby, who muttered quietly, lowered his interlocked hand under the table and sat straight. ¡°Then meet him and then meet me.¡± ¡°¡­..Yes, I will.¡± ¡°At that time, there¡¯s something I really want to say.¡± His eyes were more serious than ever. *** Comments from Korean readers: It¡¯s going to happen like the scenes she¡¯s writing in the novel. The comments are so funny. After seeing what¡¯s trapped in the novel, he¡¯ll lock you up because I think you want it. Will he lock up the female character after reading the story? Male lead¡­.I don¡¯t know It¡¯s the female lead, whose dream is to be raised by a handsome, rich husband¡­ Writing is a small hobby, and it¡¯s a life of living with love. It¡¯s perfect for a timid female character. Chapter 27 - Ian Leopold Chapter 27: Ian Leopold It wasn¡¯t until I left the Libre coffee shop after talking to Tobias that I remembered the Stalker¡¯s demands. ¡°No, I¡¯ll go alone today.¡± I had no choice but to refuse Toby, who would walk me home. I never want anything terrible to happen to this person. ¡°Ms. Melissa, why¡­¡­.¡± However, the moment I made eye contact with him looking down at me with a disappointed face, I felt helplessly wanting to tell him everything. I wanted my anxiety to be comforted by you. I want to lean on you endlessly. I¡¯m afraid of going home after a suspicious man. ¡°That, actually¡­¡­.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± A streak of winter wind scraped past him and me as we faced each other. The harsh cold woke me up. This isn¡¯t it. It¡¯s ridiculous of me to narrow the distance between Tobias and I. We weren¡¯t lovers to begin with, that I could lean on him. I don¡¯t have the right to get Toby in trouble. This fact never changes even if he favors me or even if we become lovers. ¡°¡­¡­it¡¯s nothing. It¡¯s because I want to walk alone today.¡± ¡°Do you have to walk alone?¡± ¡°Well, it¡¯s not comfortable to be indebted to you every time¡­¡­.¡± I just wanted to endure this situation safely. Until that unidentified man watching me leaves. I¡¯m sure it won¡¯t take too long. ¡°What do you mean? Never¡­¡­.¡± Tobias trembled like the day we first met. ¡°You don¡¯t have to follow me, Tobias. Really.¡± I told him not to follow me back. I didn¡¯t want him to be hurt by any chance because of this stupid stalker commotion. ¡°It¡¯s cold, Toby. Let¡¯s part ways.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Looking stiff and awkward, Toby, who was staring at me, managed to open his mouth. ¡°Goodbye, Miss Melissa. After meeting Mr. Longhorn¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Yes. See you then.¡± When I answered softly, he finally smiled brightly. * * * I wrote a letter to Mr. Malcolm Longhorn. It was quite a plausible letter, including my surprise of getting the undeserved gift, how much I liked the dress, and concluding that I wanted to meet in person and say thank you. The problem is that I don¡¯t know where to send this letter. ¡°Oh, Melissa! You were at home.¡± ¡°Hello, Mr. Greg.¡± Mr. Greg smiled coolly, pulling the brows covered by the gray beard marks. The moment I saw his face, I thought, I don¡¯t know if the problem will be solved sooner than I expected. Madame Kerney, as always, with a stern look, rummaged in the box containing meat. ¡°How come you brought only the rump today? I was going to make more bacon.¡± (T/N: rump: the hind part of the body of a mammal) ¡°Oh! It happened because I made a mistake. If you ripen it well and grill it¡­¡­.¡± Mr. Greg, who was exhausted to appease Madame Kerney, managed to hand over the box of her meat to madam. After a while, I handed an empty box to him waiting at the doorway and spoke in a low voice. ¡°Mr. Greg.¡± ¡°Oh, thank you. Then next time¡ª¡± ¡°I¡­! I have a question for you.¡± Mr. Greg opened his eyes wide and looked at me. It was a natural reaction because he and I never had any separate conversation. ¡°Do you know where Mr. Longhorn¡¯s house is?¡± ¡°Longhorn? Frank Longhorn?¡± ¡°Uh, no, that, Malcolm¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Oh! You mean the eldest son? I know.¡± That¡¯s a relief¡­¡­ As expected, Mr. Greg, who was busy going all over Florin, would know. ¡°But why all of a sudden you are looking for Mr. Longhorn?¡± ¡°It¡¯s just that I received a great gift from him, but I can¡¯t return them because I¡¯ve already worn it.¡­.¡± I really don¡¯t know why it¡¯s getting so complicated. ¡°So, I wrote a letter, wanting to thank him in person.¡­.¡± ¡°Aha! I know what you mean.¡± Mr. Greg chuckled pleasantly. He pointed at me with his playful face and squinted his eyes. ¡°I¡­ It¡¯s not what you¡¯re thinking right now.¡± ¡°Okay, bring me the letter.¡± ¡°What? It¡¯s really not a love letter!¡± When I waved my hands, Mr. Greg slowly crossed his arms. ¡°Regardless, I have business with Longhorn this week, so I¡¯ll pass it on to him.¡± ¡°Oh, then¡­!¡± ¡°I¡¯m busy, so I¡¯d appreciate it if you could bring it quickly, Melissa.¡± ¡°Oh, I¡¯ll bring it quickly, Mr. Greg! Thank you so much.¡± After bowing in an awkward voice, I rushed up the stairs. * * * A leading businessman, Ian Leopold, who has a major influence on the society of the Sorne Kingdom, starting with the trade business. He lit the study in the deepest part of the mansion as always tonight. He, who seemed to have no weakness, suffered from severe migraines all the time. Because of that, he barely managed to go to bed after midnight every day, but it was his daily life to work until just before falling asleep as he was a terrible workaholic. It was rare for Ian to see his son, Alan, in the mansion. Even more so at this late hour. So, naturally, he doubted his eyes. However, the sight of an achromatic man standing by the doorway with a silver candlestick over the transparent glasses was by no means an illusion. He looked back to see if he had left the study door open, but he couldn¡¯t remember. It was true that he was so absorbed in his work that he somehow did not notice Alan¡¯s presence. Tap, tap ¡°What¡¯s going on, Alan?¡± Only then did Alan¡¯s elegant lips open after knocking twice on the open door at his father¡¯s question. ¡°I have something to tell you.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± The expressionless face, lit by the soft candle light, looked as noble as a torch. It was such a quiet morning* that even the sound of breathing could be heard. (* It¡¯s past 12AM) ¡°Come closer.¡± Ian, who took off his glasses and put them down in the corner of the table, added while rubbing his stiff eyes. ¡°That¡¯s great. I had something to tell you, too.¡± The rich man sat face to face in front of the table in the middle of the spacious study. Only a few candles were swaying silently in the dark room. The pungent smell of cigars floated in the air. ¡°¡­¡­you bought a coffee shop.¡± ¡°Yes.¡± Huh¡ª and Ian shed a strange grunt. ¡°How unlike you. Why? ¡°Because I¡¯m interested.¡± Alan smiled silently. Of course, the only thing that smiled was the lips. His pale blue-grey eyes were still shining as cold as winter in the north. ¡°You became interested? You know it¡¯s not the time to say something leisurely like that.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t have to waste my time because someone I trust is taking good care of it. Don¡¯t worry.¡± Ian twisted his forehead and loosened it in response to the gentle answer without a single hesitation. ¡°¡­¡­Do well, and don¡¯t embarrass the family. There must be a lot to prepare, so do well without exception.¡± ¡°Of course, father.¡± ¡°Good. Anything else to say?¡± At his father¡¯s words, Alan¡¯s hands interlaced slowly on the table as if waiting. A small candle light fell on the white back of his hand, where his bones were prominent. ¡°I want to leave the house.¡± ¡°What do you mean, Alan?¡± ¡°I was wondering if I could focus on my work in a quiet place. I have a lot of work to do, you know.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Ian lowered his neck. Alan continued speaking in a neat low-pitched tone with no highs and lows. ¡°I am in a hurry because there are only a few days left before I leave for the Principality.¡± Contrary to those words, Alan¡¯s expression was relaxed. Lips with a cool smile, slightly raised chin, and broad shoulders that cannot bend. It certainly looked straight, with an presence of an overbearing pressure. Ian thought. There would be no other creature who could fit in the name of Leopold more perfectly than this, someone who added to the prestige of the family day by day. ¡®You¡¯ve regained our honour, I¡¯m incomparably happy, Alan!¡¯ It was Ian who created this Alan Leopold. The effort was immeasurable, but the result was more than perfect. Inwardly, Ian admired his excellent eyesight, which never went wrong. However, in his heart, anxiety was rising like smoke. It is because the young man in front of him seemed as if he was about to leap over the high wall that surrounded Ian. I must be wrong this time. It is just my illusion due to being eroded by fatigue. ¡°Where are you going? If you don¡¯t have a specific place in mind, I¡ª¡± ¡°Ah.¡± Alan laughed a little. ¡°I¡¯m not here to ask for advice.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I¡¯ve already got a small villa, Father.¡± Alan was not born from him, but he was the only child raised by his own hands. When did Alan start to feel more and more mysterious¡­. ¡®Remember that there are many things in life that you are better off not knowing He also didn¡¯t teach his son everything. It was the same for Alan after he became an adult, and Ian never intended to talk about the truths below the surface. ¡°How come¡­¡± Because you can become a great person if you don¡¯t look back. ¡°¡­¡­No, nevermind.¡± ¡°There are many things in life that are better off not knowing.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°The teachings you gave me on the first day I came here are always engraved in my heart.¡± Ian just stared blankly at the faint pieces of light hanging from the eyelashes that were neatly drooping under his cool eyelids. Even though they were not connected by blood, the two Leopold men had a striking resemblance. It was indeed a strange relationship. Even if he didn¡¯t meet Alan at the orphanage that day, Ian had always believed that he would have met him somewhere and adopted him. His son will also feel the same thing. A long time ago, his young, ignorant daughter told Alan that he was not the biological child. The disobedient maid who told Monica that fact was severely punished and kept her mouth shut, but it was already spilled water. Alan was locked in the room for days with a face as if the world had collapsed. At that time, Ian thought for the first time that the family ties might be severed. But when Alan finally opened the door and came out, the eyes became determined. A faint smile appeared on Ian¡¯s tired face as he remembered that day. Even if he were to find more blood-related descendants, there would be no one that could resemble Ian as much as Alan now. ¡°When will you leave?¡± ¡°I think it¡¯ll take less than a few days.¡± After Alan was brought in, Ian got rid of his lost biological parents, in case whoever lost him appeared. Like the excellent businessman he was, Ian was very thorough and meticulous when he did something. There was no way for Alan to know the truth because there was no one left to know it. Therefore, he had no concern that their father-child relationship would disappear. This father and son duo would continue to resemble each other forever, as he would stand at the peak of power in the kingdom. Alan whispered slowly to his father, who was smiling happily ¡°I¡¯ll stop by often.¡± He was, as always, his perfect son. *** Comments From Korean Readers: Did he kill them? father isn¡¯t normal either¡­.. He killed His biological parents .. I don¡¯t know if Alan knows or not What¡­.? He killed them¡­? Haha what is this house .. creepy .. he seems to be the real son .. Alan seems to already know everything Chapter 28 - Caught You Chapter 28: Caught You ¡°This¡­¡­¡± Longhorn¡¯s mansion was located on the outskirts of the capital. In the vast garden that is jaw-dropping, I almost got lost over and over again. I expected it when I received the expensive dress, but by the time I got to the mansion, I was already exhausted. Then I looked at the magnificent mansion with the bright milky-white exterior walls. Wasn¡¯t it their historic aristocratic family¡¯s ancestors who ordered this mansion to be built? Although it was a story long in the past. With such fleeting thoughts, I entered the mansion. ¡°He is waiting.¡± The whole time I followed the servant to the drawing room, my mind was all over the place. With thoughts about whether he is a stalker or not, or such an abrupt visit¡ªAlthough, of course, I came here after receiving a reply saying it was okay to come¡ª but also I was regretting it. When I faced Longhorn again, I had no idea what to say. Thanks to Tobias, I¡¯m a little used to talking to men normally, but that was only when the other person was Toby. I still needed a lot of courage. However, the parlour is usually located not far from the main entrance. ¡°Ah¡­¡± As I was swimming in the swamp of thoughts, I was suddenly in front of Mr. Longhorn. ¡°Hello, Miss Collins.¡± ¡°¡­..Hello, Mr. Longhorn.¡± I hurriedly greeted him with a polite courtesy. Malcolm Longhorn, dressed in a dark blue coat, looked a little different from the night I met him on the national theater terrace. He had become thinner than I remembered. His face had prominent cheekbones, and his cheeks were hollow. As expected, it was different to see him properly in the daylight. I wonder if he is about the same age as Tobias. Anyway, how did I mistake this person for Alan? Even thinking about it now, it was absurd. They were of similar height but his bent posture was different, and his hair, though dark, was a chestnut brown. Compared to Alan¡¯s pitch black hair they were as different as night and day. ¡°¡­¡­so, I¡¯m here to say thank you. Thank you once again.¡± ¡°Ah¡­¡± By the way, he was a little strange. Oh, it doesn¡¯t mean that he feels like a stalker. Rather, he had completely dispelled my suspicions that he was a stalker. Although I am not an expert yet, as a person who has written novels for quite a long time, I am quite precise in my ability to observe people. His gaze at me contained no other intentions, not something like an intentional made-up indifference¡ªto make me believe he was not a stalker¡ªRather, his attitude was natural because it was a mixture of appropriate manners and awkwardness. Above all, this is not the gaze of a person who has been watching me steadily. That night, the terrace was dark, so he also seemed to be eagerly comparing me in the daylight to the Melissa Collins in his memory. Like I am doing. So I couldn¡¯t help but know. ¡°Y, You didn¡¯t have to do that, Miss Collins¡­¡­.¡± Longhorn¡¯s reply was strange, he was bizarrely sweating in front of me. ¡°No, I think it will make my heart feel more comfortable if I say thank you like this.¡± ¡°¡­ That, um¡­¡­.¡± Looking back, on the day I first met Toby, his voice had been trembling too. But Mr. Longhorn¡¯s trembling was clearly different from that. What should I say about this feeling¡­ I feel like he is afraid of something. Why? ¡°Miss Collins.¡± ¡°Yes, Mr. Longhorn.¡± ¡°I hope there¡¯s no misunderstanding¡­ I couldn¡¯t turn down a lady¡¯s earnest request, and it was a scheme¡­¡­ If it was to express your gratitude for my favor, even more so¡­¡­.¡± (T/N: it¡¯s not clearly mentioned but I guess someone played a prank) ¡°¡­¡­.¡± His gibberish sounded absurd, I couldn¡¯t make heads or tails of what he was saying. Could this person be in a state where proper thinking is impossible for him right now? For example, he didn¡¯t sleep a wink last night, or he was actually drunk¡­. but he didn¡¯t smell like alcohol. The person he is facing is not a high-nosed royal family or the great Leopold, but an ordinary girl without any background. Isn¡¯t it natural to think like this? ¡°To be thanked is plenty¡­¡­ I think my position has been conveyed¡­¡­ No, I believe so, but I¡¯ll make it clear. Miss Collins.¡± ¡°Yes, Mr. Longhorn.¡± ¡°The dress I sent you is really simple from my point of view, so please forget that you got it from me.¡± ¡°¡­..What?¡± I asked back with an awkward face like a broken machine. I couldn¡¯t understand his words and attitude now. ¡°If possible¡­¡­The name of Longhorn¡­¡­ Please don¡¯t put it in your mouth. Ah, that might not be possible, certainly¡­¡­.¡± I was offended but frowned with embarrassment. There must be something firmly misunderstood. His words sound as if I¡¯ve been shooting all over Florin and bragging that I¡¯ve been given a dress from Malcolm Longhorn¡­¡­. I have confirmed that Mr. Longhorn is not my stalker. So, in reality, further conversations are meaningless to me. However, I couldn¡¯t leave the ridiculous situation as it was. ¡°Why?¡± ¡°That¡¯s, Al¡­.¡± Longhorn abruptly stopped speaking and closed his eyes tightly with a complicated expression. ¡°¡­¡­ No. I¡¯d better not even say this. I¡¯m at a very important crossroads.¡­. Don¡¯t bother me at all.¡­.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± He muttered strange repeating unknown sounds in an anxious manner. His words still offended me. ¡°So, are you saying I bother you?¡± Mr. Longhorn¡¯s subsequent reply made me burst into a disheartened laughter. ¡°To be honest, you¡¯re a nuisance to my business expansion, Miss Collins.¡± ¡°¡­¡­I have nothing to do with your business.¡± ¡°I apologize if I have offended you.¡­.¡± It was absurd, but Longhorn¡¯s face, which apologized to me, looked desperate and sincere, so I had no choice but to stop and bite my lips. Then he continued to talk. ¡°But I can¡¯t help it. I can¡¯t go against his will¡­¡­. I hope you understand.¡± What do you mean ¡°his¡±¡­¡­? I don¡¯t know who he is talking about, but I was just puzzled. It sounded like being associated with me was an act that went against the wishes of someone powerful. Does the person who can control his business mean a royal power? Is it reasonable to mistake a person like me for having a contact point with the royal family¡­. ¡°I¡¯d appreciate it if you could go back now. I won¡¯t see you in the future¡­but I sincerely hope for your health and happiness.¡± If it comes out like this, I can¡¯t do much. ¡°Oh¡­ Yes, of course.¡± His words were utterly confusing, but it seemed like me being around him and socializing with me would hurt his work. We didn¡¯t know each other in the first place, and we didn¡¯t have any acquaintances to mention.¡­. I abandoned my mind to try to correct his misunderstanding somehow, bent my knees to greet him quietly, and left the parlour. ¡°This way.¡± Again, as I passed through the white marble pillars following the servant, I was deeply lost in thought. I¡¯m sure Mr. Longhorn is not a stalker. However, the problem was that there were no more predictable candidates left. ¡°¡­..He had said ¡®Al¡¯ before he cut himself off.¡± I thought over the one syllable that Mr. Longhorn had leaked out. It is inevitable for me to think of Alan Leopold here. In fact, I wanted to ask back earlier, but I managed to endure my inquiry because Longhorn was acting as if he wasn¡¯t quite sane. If, really, Alan was my stalker¡ªI don¡¯t know what key he holds to Longhorn¡¯s business¡ªbut he was angry that Mr. Longhorn had sent me a dress and warned him that if he got involved with me, he would interfere with the business¡­¡­¡­. Pfft¡­ What am I saying? I shrugged a strange shame and straightened my back for no reason. The assumption itself doesn¡¯t make sense, but how does Alan know that Mr. Longhorn sent me a dress. He wouldn¡¯t care even if I was alive or dead. It¡¯s not unreasonable to assume that if Alan was really watching me, he would have overheard Toby and I talking about Mr. Longhorn.¡­. Hold on. I know it¡¯s nonsense, but why am I reminded of the server¡¯s statement that the Leopolds took over Antris? It¡¯s true that Antris was the place where Toby and I talked about dress. Don¡¯t tell me he¡¯s really¡­¡­. ¡°Then, get home safely.¡± ¡°¡­ Oh, yes! T, thank you.¡± I bid goodbye in a hurry and ran toward the carriage. I felt the heat on my face. I just wanted to escape from this endless delusion. * * * ¡°Hik, gasp¡­.¡± It was definitely a bitter winter night, but I was all wet with hot sweat. It felt like my lungs were being torn apart. It¡¯s the limit. If this continues, I¡¯ll definitely get caught¡­¡­. ¡°Ah¡­..!¡± Sure enough, my leg, which could not overcome the pain, gave up running away anymore. I just fell on the cold snowy field. A biting cold. Would it be faster to freeze to death like this, or¡­¡­. ¡°Caught you.¡± At that moment, winter embraced me. My body was completely bound in tight arms. He put his chin on my shoulder and whispered as he kissed my cheek. ¡°It¡¯s okay now, Melissa.¡± A whisper from heaven that almost melts my ears. In Alan Leopold¡¯s cozy arms, I realized that this was a dream without difficulty. It was the first time in years that Alan appeared in my dream. Even when I ran into him in front of the bookstore or the night I danced with him at the ball, he didn¡¯t come to my dream. Did my consciousness¡ªtormented by the stalker make Alan in my dreams chase me? ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Then, as his cloud-like lips landed on my cheek, I meekly closed my eyes. When I opened my eyes again, it was early in the morning. I had no power to move, but in fact, I was faintly blinking because I was sad and disappointed that I suddenly returned to reality. The warmth of his chest and arms, the cold touch of his cheeks and lips that had touched my face remained faint. His voice that wet my ears was as deep as the deep sea. I shrugged my shoulders. But strangely enough, ¡°¡­¡­I couldn¡¯t smell anything.¡± That¡¯s when I suddenly realized. The fact that I don¡¯t know his scent. Looking back at the time I ran into him on the street, all I remembered was the smell of autumn that filled the air. Perhaps because I was too nervous at the ball, not only all senses but also my head did not work properly. There was no way I could smell his physique. The only thing I remember is that his hands were as hot as fire, and my feet were precarious and anxious as if standing on a ledge. ¡°What kind of scent would he have¡­.¡± My dazed murmurs scattered in the quiet room. I pulled my thick, soft winter duvet together and hugged it like I was buried. I was going to go back to sleep like this. With a desperate hope that I can see him in my dream once again. Chapter 29 - Good News? Chapter 29: Good News? As soon as I got back from Longhorn Mansion, I wrote a letter to Toby. It was to inform him that Mr. Longhorn was not the stalker; I concluded by saying that I would wait in Libre on Saturday afternoon. His face, saying that he had something he wanted to say, was still vivid in my mind. Those eyes were desperate for something. Of course, I already knew what he was going to say. But when I think about the drastic change in my relationship with him¡­¡­. ¡°I¡¯m not sure¡­.¡± No wonder I was giddy. * * * Today, I arrived at the Libre Coffee Shop earlier than the promised time. Feeling the pathological burden of keeping others waiting, I liked to come to the appointment place first and think calmly. Unlike Antris, with their wide windows that overlooked the scenery of the street, Libre was dark even in the middle of the day because it was located underground. It is a space with a strong smell of beer and old wood rather than the smell of coffee. ¡°Your Coffee is here.¡± A server in an unorganized shirt and an old apron suddenly appeared and put down the coffee cup. Two drops of espresso splashed over an old wooden table, blackening it. ¡°Oh¡­! Thank you so much.¡­.¡± The server nodded his head and then turned around. Seeing his uncombed hair and the shirt sticking out, I somehow missed Antris¡¯ servers. However, it seemed that I was the only one that felt uncomfortable here. The guests¡¯ attire and topics of conversations are much more liberal than at Antris. It certainly has a strange charm or atmosphere, but I also like Antris. The interior here, which has more pillars than necessary, is a little exaggerated and feels like it¡¯s in the middle of a maze.¡­. ¡°Oh my god!¡± Suddenly, I dropped my glass on the red hair that popped up from behind the pillar. The white coffee cup was completely shattered with a sharp bang. ¡°Sorry! Are you okay?¡± It was a young man who approached. He wasn¡¯t a redhead but blonde. It must have been due to my anxiety that I mistakenly thought the red tassels that were hanging tightly on the brown redingot for hair. ¡°I was a little surprised¡­¡­.It¡¯s okay.¡± ¡°Miss Melissa!¡± Toby came running to me like a miracle, who was still trembling from the afterimage. It was just amazing that he found me at once in this maze-like place. He spoke to the man in the redingot. ¡°What¡¯s going on? My woman seems surprised, so please tell me instead.¡± My woman. The unfamiliar echo even stopped my trembling shoulders. The man apologized again explaining the situation that surprised me while wandering around looking for another person, and Toby, who found out it was nothing, sent him away. Toby¡¯s persistent gaze followed the red tassel decoration that fluttered behind the man¡¯s back. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± We sat facing each other and remained silent for a moment. I was consciously breathing evenly and feeling the tremors gradually subside. Meanwhile, Tobias looked at me with unwavering straight eyes. ¡°Miss Melissa.¡± It was Toby who broke the silence between us. Of course, the surroundings were quite noisy. ¡°I was arbitrarily believing that Miss Melissa had regained her peace of mind.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± He was talking about the stalking uproar. ¡°But¡­ You were still nervous.¡± Come to think of it, I had no intention of informing Toby about the stalker. When I heard that the stalker was standing behind my back, I just confessed it involuntarily. Even though I was a victim, it was difficult to confess because I didn¡¯t want to be misunderstood that my behavior provided the cause at first, and later I didn¡¯t want to cause concern to Toby. With that opportunity, Toby took the topic for granted since I haven¡¯t talked about the topic since that day. It was all because of the stalker that I didn¡¯t go to New Ditch, after that the suspicious old woman rushed to me, and that I refused his escort home, but I hid it. I¡¯m afraid of that unknown stalker¡¯s warning. I was so afraid that this dark shadow might fall on Tobias as well. Whatever my situation is, Toby seems to have thought I had already let go of my fear of stalkers. Of course he did. Since that day, the stalker has never appeared*, and it seems that it has been a long time since it was blurred in his memory. (* talking from Toby¡¯s point of view¡ªhe only saw him once) ¡°I¡­. would like to protect you¡­.¡± Is it because of the dark interior? Tobias¡¯s eyes seemed unusually dark. Not as much as the day we first met, but his calm voice was subtly trembling. ¡°I¡¯m sure I¡¯ll be of help.¡± ¡°But¡­¡± I couldn¡¯t face his crystal clear sincerity and lowered my gaze. ¡°I don¡¯t want to harm you.¡± ¡°You were like that last time too. You say you are uncomfortable being indebted to me.¡± Toby spoke like a sigh. ¡°Miss Melissa¡¯s dependence on me is never a burden, I¡¯m happy to help. ¡°Toby, I¡­¡­.¡± ¡°But I¡¯m the only one who thinks so, since our relationship is such that you don¡¯t feel the same way about me yet.¡± I had a hunch. That I¡¯ll finally hear it (his confession). That¡¯s why I looked around in a hurry, hoping the server would appear while he was saying something important, since they had to clean up the broken glass and take Toby¡¯s order. ¡°So now¡­¡­.¡± At that moment, Tobias came down from his chair and knelt down on one of his knees. My gaze was instantly captivated by his movement. ¡°¡­Toby.¡± ¡°Can¡¯t you allow me to be your person¡­.?¡± Ah. I covered my mouth with both hands. I felt like my stance that this should be a light relationship was swaying. What should I say about this feeling? It feels like soft feathers are tickling my heart. It¡¯s unbearably itchy, so I want to get rid of it, but there¡¯s no way¡­¡­. ¡°From the moment I first saw you to this moment, my heart¡­¡­ It belongs only to you, Miss Melissa.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Heat rose on my face without help due to his confession. It was the first time I felt grateful for Libre¡¯s unnecessary pillars and disturbance. I vaguely knew that he would confess today. It was harder not to know then know because his eyes and his voice were always full of his feelings. And I had long been determined to accept him. A love letter from someone, a genuinely affectionate interest, drinking coffee, eating, talking about life, and laughing together. I¡¯ve never experienced such wonderful and shiny things in my previous life. It is very fortunate that the other person is Tobias Miller. Because he¡¯s a warm and thoughtful person. We don¡¯t know each other yet, but I thought we would have a cozy, sweet companionship. Therefore, even I didn¡¯t expect that I would give such an answer: ¡°Give me time to think.¡± ¡°Ah¡­¡­¡± Toby¡¯s eyes immediately headed to the floor. My eyes also followed his bowed head. Perhaps due to the low light, the bright brown hair looked exceptionally dark. Somehow it was a sad light. ¡°It must have been sudden¡­ It must have been scary. I¡¯m sorry for being hasty every time.¡± ¡°No, there¡¯s nothing to be sorry about! I also like (you)¡­¡­.¡± At that moment, ironically, the feeling of the cold lips on my cheek came to my mind. I closed my eyes tightly. ¡°¡­..I think you¡¯re a good person.¡± Toby suddenly raised his head at my whisper. ¡°Then I didn¡¯t offend you, did I?¡± I shook my head over and over again ¡°Then, Miss Melissa has a positive heart for me¡­¡­ Is that right?¡± This time, when I nodded slowly twice, he raised himself with a bright smile. ¡°This is enough for today.¡± He added shyly, ¡°I¡¯ll give you time. What if we meet again here a week later at the same time? If you come out it means you¡¯ve accepted my heart¡­¡­.¡± Was I making a silly face? Toby looked at me cautiously. ¡°Is it¡­ Is it too soon?¡± ¡°No, Toby. It¡¯s good.¡± ¡°Ah¡­¡± An innocent smile spread across his nervous face again. ¡°I hope to see you in a week, Melissa.¡± The dimples on his innocent, enthusiastic face deepened. * * * That day I couldn¡¯t resist Toby, who was supposed to walk with me. All the way home, my heart raced so much that I couldn¡¯t concentrate properly on the conversation. I just hoped the stalker wasn¡¯t looking at us. Time flew fast but steadily, and the promised Saturday is just two days away. Two days later, I was going to be his lover in Libre. It was two days away. Therefore¡­. ¡°Lady, it¡¯s Miller!¡± Julia, who ran up to my room with a loud noise, held out an envelope. ¡°Is it from Toby?¡± I accepted it with a puzzled face. We¡¯ve already decided where to meet again. Why did he send a letter? Is he trying to cancel his confession? Did something happen to your family in New Ditch? Or¡­¡­. ¡°I¡¯ll go down, so read it comfortably!¡± As soon as Julia ran out, I open the letter, ¡°Oh my god.¡± I opened my eyes wide at the news that I had never thought of. ¡°¡­as a scholarship student to help Leopold¡¯s business¡­¡­ Selection?¡± Obviously, it¡¯s good news, but strangely I wasn¡¯t happy. They haven¡¯t even started recruiting yet. What happened? For some reason, I feel empty. Is it because this all feels surreal? The starting condition for pursuing his dream was leaving for the Principality immediately. ¡°As I¡¯m reading this letter¡­¡­ He might already be on the ship going to Lunoa.¡­.¡± I couldn¡¯t believe it even after seeing it, so I read it aloud, but it didn¡¯t feel real. But Toby is definitely Toby. He added affectionately. It will not be easy to exchange letters from Lunoa to Sorne. His letter ended with a promise that he would notify me of his new address, but that he may be on ships often since he was working with Leopold. I really felt indescribable. Can I handle his sudden absence? Can I really go abroad to study¡­. Among the intersecting emotions, the clearest thing I could feel was the anxiety that his mind might change. I put off the answer with a calm face at his confession, but now I¡¯m regretting it. No, is this really regret? I was all confused. But tomorrow the pain of his absence will be a little duller, I have to get used to it. Then I will be able to congratulate him with more sincerity than today. And so on for the next day and the next day. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Putting the letter down on one side of the desk, I opened an old note with a short deep breath. It was only a few days after I received another unexpected letter. Chapter 30 - Young Mistakes Chapter 30: Young Mistakes It was one afternoon when Mrs Kerney knocked on the door. ¡°Melissa.¡± I, who was in the midst of writing my novel, stood up straight as if waking up from magic. ¡°There¡¯s a letter in front of you.¡± ¡°Letter?¡± I asked back with a blank face. Because I couldn¡¯t think of anyone else who could send me a letter. It was only a while ago that I received Tobias¡¯ letter. Even if he sent a letter as soon as he arrived at the Lunoa Principality, I think it would still be on the sea. Viola, who said she needed time to think, would not send me one either. It¡¯s been a while since we met, but if she has something to say, she won¡¯t send me a letter, but come in person, as always. I also made a frightening guess that the stalker wrote down new requirements, but if it was an unknown sender, Mrs. Kearney wouldn¡¯t have spoken in such a casual way. ¡°Thank you.¡± I accepted the letter. Mrs. Kearney, who smiled, glanced at my desk and left the room with a quiet step. Soon the door was closed, but my bewildered lips slid open. This is because the name of the sender on the envelope was very unexpected. ¡°Brickhouse?¡± I hurriedly opened the envelope. I forgot to speak for a moment. How urgent would it have been to send me a letter like this? Even this¡­¡­ ¡°Tear marks?¡± It is not surprising that Viola did not meet him. But my one and only best friend wasn¡¯t only distancing herself from Jacob but also me and her family. How incredibly anxious this fact makes me. I know how bright and energetic Viola is, even more so¡­¡­. I have no idea if Jacob is the arrogant type, but what if Jacob really did have to say something that Viola must hear? There may be some closure to this situation. Whatever it is, Viola has to overcome the past and move forward again. That¡¯s all I want. With that in mind, I sent a concise reply stating the date and place to meet him. * * * When I pushed down the heavy wooden door, an old stone staircase to the basement appeared. It would have been nice to meet at the Antris coffee shop, but there would be nothing bad about being careful. While rubbing my cold palms together, I went down the stairs and pushed the thin curtain in the doorway with the back of my hand. I could see the white dust rising. Then someone called me. ¡°Miss Collins.¡± ¡°Ah!¡± Jacob was sitting at the table near the door. Since when has he been waiting? There is still a lot of time left for the scheduled appointment¡­.. When Jacob jumped up, a big shadow casted over me. ¡°Thank you so much for your time.¡± Jacob looked so emaciated that it was hard to believe that he was the same person I saw at the last victory ceremony. His voice was very cracked, and the copper-coloured face, which had a healthy light, looked very dry. I sat in front of him with an awkward face. There were already two cups of coffee on the table. ¡°No, but the coffee¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I ordered them both. The employees here rarely come back to take orders.¡­. It hasn¡¯t cooled down because it just came out, so please drink it if you don¡¯t mind.¡± As he said, steam was rising faintly from the coffee. I know well that the server here is not very sincere. The last time I broke my glass¡­¡­. ¡°Oh.¡± I automatically thought of the stalker. This was because I remembered what surprised me when I saw the red tassel here the other day. Just because the stalker did not appear himself and just because I was not at Antris, there is no guarantee that his hands and feet would not reach mehere in Libre. He even made a gruesome threat, referring to Tobias. So, wouldn¡¯t the scene of I and Jacob trigger him? Why the hell didn¡¯t I think of this? I should never harm Jacob. He¡¯s not even directly related to me or meets me regularly. ¡°Ahem, ahem.¡± I hurriedly cleared my throat. Then I said it out loud the loudest I could say. ¡°Hello, Mr. Brickhouse, my best friend Viola Graham¡¯s lover! It¡¯s my first time seeing you separately like this! Do you have any questions about Viola?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± When I suddenly made a loud noise, the surrounding area became quiet and curious gazes rushed in. Of course, the silence was very short, and Jacob, who was embarrassed, was still blinking. My face heated up after seeing that expression, but at least I felt at ease. If the stalker was watching us, I¡¯ve succeeded in protecting the innocent Jacob. I quickly opened my mouth, pretending to be fine. ¡°You live in Piccom, and you know the coffee shop in the capital well.¡± Jacob tilted his head with a face saying, ¡®Was Miss Collins had this personality?¡¯ but answered in a calm tone. ¡°I¡¯ve been here several times.¡± However, with the words that followed, his expression collapsed again. I could see his green eyes getting wet. ¡°¡­with Viola..¡­.¡± ¡°Oh¡­¡± Right, that¡¯s why we were meeting today, he needed my help regarding Viola. I asked straightforwardly. ¡°Mr. Brickhouse, do you have something to say to me?¡± ¡°Yes. To Viola¡­¡­ I was hoping you could pass on my story.¡± It was strange to see Jacob touching the teacup with his big shoulders curled up, but his eyes and voice showed sincerity. But I had already heard everything from Viola. ¡°¡­¡­There¡¯s nothing wrong with listening. But I think you should know that I¡¯ve heard everything from Viola.¡± ¡°Yes, I expected it.¡± Jacob, who hung his neck down, continued. ¡°¡­.Thank you for listening.¡± The story that started like that had the same content as what I had heard from Viola, but also something different. First of all, it seemed to be true that he had a child. The story of a three-year-old son who was sent to the Brickhouse family by his ex-lover, who had vanished at will, was no different from what I knew ¡°But she, Anne, didn¡¯t say anything until the day before she disappeared.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I didn¡¯t even know Anne had a child¡­¡­ Anne¡¯s death, the child who suddenly appeared as my son¡­¡­ Everything was a shock.¡± Jacob, who wrapped his head in pain, sighed deeply. How hard must it have been? I couldn¡¯t even fathom. Sometimes it feels like life is closer to fiction, his life seems to be no exception. Nevertheless, I still had my doubts. ¡°How could you not know that you and your lover had a child?¡± ¡°She and I¡­¡­ as for how one makes a child¡­¡­.¡± Jacob¡¯s voice trailed off but upon remembering his objective, continued in an earnest voice. ¡°Miss Collins, we were too young¡±. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Jacob added that he left the child with his cousin for family reasons, but his cousin also lives in Pecum, so he visits whenever he has time and tries to play the role of a father. I was rather stunned. ¡°So now¡­¡­ Are you saying that it¡¯s not your child?¡± ¡°I thought it was ridiculous at first, too. The child looked exactly like Anne, but there was no similarity to me. By the way¡­¡± Jacob paused for a moment before making eye contact with me. ¡°The child¡¯s eyes were exactly green like mine. The moment I saw those eyes, I said he was my child.¡­ I thought I should protect this little kid.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Anne¡¯s family can¡¯t afford to raise a child. So it was clear that if I refused, he¡¯d be abandoned.¡­.¡± ¡°It sounds like you were willing to take care of him because you loved her.¡± Jacob dropped his head as if collapsing at my cold answer, but I didn¡¯t stop. ¡°Even though she¡¯s a departed person, the memories of true love will never fade away. Eventually, the traces left in your heart¡­..¡± ¡°No, Miss Collins.¡± At that moment, his green eyes pierced my eyes. ¡°Now that I think about it, it was never love.¡± ¡°I beg your pardon? Now, if you say it like that, you just look cowardly.¡± My sharp voice surprised me. No matter how thin and vain one¡¯s love was, I had no desire to witness it¡¯s ruin. But Jacob had a calm face, as if he was cold-headed. And the emotion in those eyes was very hot. ¡°Anne had been sick for a long time. She desperately longed for me¡­¡­ I just decided that I had to take care of her. At that time, I believed that was the right thing to do and my only option. I was so young.¡± (T/N: he¡¯s saying he felt pity and guilt towards her¡ªsympathy isn¡¯t love but being young he confused the two) ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I can tell you clearly. For me, true love is a person who will devote his or her entire life¡­¡­.¡± Just like Viola. He whispered. The clumsy confession was even quite reverent. I wasn¡¯t sure if his words were true or fake. But his earnestness, trembling shoulders, and even the air surrounding him eagerly persuaded me. It¡¯s harsh that he¡¯s not even given a chance to talk again. I hope at least this pure sincerity should be conveyed. ¡°Okay, Brickhouse.¡± That was the conclusion I made. ¡°Actually, it¡¯s been a while since I met Viola, too. She said she needed time to think. She¡¯s having a hard time, as well.¡± ¡°Oh¡­¡± The corners of Jacob¡¯s eyes began to get wet with the dark light again. ¡°However, I¡¯ll try to visit her this evening right away. I¡¯ll try to persuade Viola so that your sincerity can be conveyed.¡± ¡°¡­.Will you do that¡­?¡± He cried like a child, not fitting for his large body. He added with a trembling sound. ¡°Please¡­ Please comfort Viola, Miss Collins. So that she doesn¡¯t get hurt too much¡­¡­.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Viola and Jacob were the ones who made me want to believe it again and again, even for me who was skeptical of love. The story of the two always made me feel something shiny. So, I really wanted to be of help. ¡°Yes, I will.¡± However, after parting ways with Jacob and returning home, I could not find Viola. It was because what occurred, made me think once again that life felt more like a novel than an actual novel. ¡°Melissa!¡± In front of a simple two-story house made of red bricks, stood the starkly dazzling white, huffing horses. The carriage, decorated with sky blue and gold, which are symbols of the royal family, sparked. It was an incomprehensible sight. ¡°Mrs. Kerney, what is this¡­¡­.¡± As soon as I tried to ask Mrs. Kerney, who was running with a troubled face, the royal official standing next to the carriage approached me. ¡°Miss Melissa Collins?¡± ¡°Yes, I¡¯m Meli¡ª.¡± ¡°Get on the carriage.¡± ¡°¡­¡­What?¡± Why do I have to get on the royal carriage? My eyebrows were narrowed down naturally due to the strange situation that happened suddenly. Mrs. Kearney stood, stamping her feet, and inside the window, I could see the anxious faces of my mother and Julia. And at the words of the official that followed, I even forgot to exhale my held breath. ¡°It¡¯s the order of the prince to bring you to the palace. Right now.¡± Chapter 31 - He Knows It Chapter 31: He Knows It I haven¡¯t lived a very long life, but even if I lived for decades more, I would never be able to get on the royal carriage. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± I sat awkwardly across from a bluntly unfamiliar royal official. It¡¯s my first time sitting on such a soft leather seat. Nevertheless, I was amazed that it could feel so uncomfortable. The official, dressed in the blue royal uniform, had a stiff, straight posture without wavering. The perfectly combed gray hair, and a gaze facing the front. Am I going to be a servant of the royal family? There was a mountain of things I wanted to ask, but his stubbornly closed lips did not seem to open easily for any question. What is the reason for the only prince in the kingdom to call me in the palace? Well, I don¡¯t know except that nothing will change even if I think about it like this. While giving up on thinking, I moved my trembling gaze to the window. Did I tighten the corset too tightly¡­. The velvet dress, which I changed in a hurry, felt unusually tight. ¡°Whoo¡­¡± I breathed out a weak breath and buried my back deeply on a soft leather seat. Hoping for this mysterious happening to end soon. * * * Entering the dazzling main gate of the palace, the golden carriage passed through the winter garden and the main palace. Strangely, the place where the carriage stopped was in front of the detached Palace. The first time I came to the royal palace was when I debuted four years ago. The debutante was held at the banquet hall of the main palace. Since I had only been here once, of course I had even seen the separate palace where the princess and prince lived. ¡°This way.¡± ¡°Ah¡­¡± My suspicions deepened even more when the official led me to the forest road next to it, not the separate palace. Why is the prince waiting for me in this cold winter forest? No hypothesis came to my mind. On the trail lined with evergreen trees that seemed to have forgotten the season, only my white breath, while following the official with nervous steps scattered like fleeting dust. The place where the official took me was in front of a small greenhouse. Is the Prince here? At least I can avoid the cold. I narrowed my eyes with that thought. The greenhouse made of glass was covered with dried vines. It looked quite bizarre as it was stubbornly clinging to the roof. ¡°Your Highness, it¡¯s Ollen.¡± However, there was something dazzling in there. For example, shining blonde hair glowing with the faint winter sunlight permeating from the ceiling¡­¡­. ¡°You¡¯re late.¡± ¡°I¡¯m sorry.¡± As the prince put down the teacup he sipped, the official¡¯s head bowed deeply. I also bowed down after him in the freezing cold. ¡°It¡¯s fine, so get out.¡± Prince Bentley ordered while raising the corner of his long lip slowly. The old gentleman and maid rushed past me with a devastated face. A few seconds later, I heard the door close, and then I came back to my senses. Having barely lifted my heavy lips, I said a belated greeting. ¡°¡­¡­I see your Highness.¡± I had seen him from a distance at a social event, but it was definitely the first time I had spoken to the prince in this way. To be honest, I never even imagined that something like this would happen. ¡°I¡¯m Melissa Collins.¡± The prince, dressed in a splendid white uniform, touched his chin and scanned me thoroughly with a strangely interesting face The snake-like gaze was unpleasant and overwhelming. ¡°The reason you called me¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Sit down¡± The prince gestured with his chin at the chair opposite from him. A brilliant statue framed by gold. I reluctantly moved, thinking that everything in this space is daunting. ¡°Are you surprised? You don¡¯t look so good.¡± The prince, who poured tea into the empty tea cup in front of me, smiled. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± I quietly tried to grasp his intentions. I don¡¯t feel any hostility. But obviously, neither is it a favor. ¡°I¡­.. don¡¯t know what¡¯s going on¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Your lover.¡± ¡°¡­..What?¡± I paused for a while due to unexpected remarks. ¡°I know your secret lover.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± He beckoned toward the cup as if telling me to drink, but I couldn¡¯t move as if I was frozen. What¡¯s happening now? What do you mean by a secret lover? To me¡­¡­. ¡°I couldn¡¯t help but wonder what kind of relationship you two are in.¡± The prince lifted the teacup regardless of my reaction. Is it because I¡¯m so nervous? The sound of him sipping his tea was exceptionally loud. ¡°¡­¡­I don¡¯t have a lover, your highness.¡± My voice trembled a lot. The golden-brown eyes of the prince who put down the teacup was fixed on me. ¡°I¡¯ve already noticed you two are together, Miss Collins.¡± ¡°Ah¡­¡± My lips trembled as I crumpled the hem of my bright red dress. So, now¡­¡­ Does it mean Prince Bentley and Tobias Miller know each other? I was very confused. I don¡¯t know everything about Toby, but I never had the feeling he was hiding something from me. Is it something to hide that you know the royal family in the first place? It was very strange because the prince¡¯s attitude toward me was not hostile to say that he didn¡¯t talk because he was in a bad relationship. ¡°You don¡¯t look good. You didn¡¯t expect to get caught?¡± The prince smiled, his eyes curling, then tilted his chin again. ¡°There¡¯s nothing to worry about. Because your lover and I are so special.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± The important thing now was that Tobias and I were not lovers. Of course, I don¡¯t know what would have happened if he hadn¡¯t suddenly left for the kingdom, but at least we are¡­¡­. ¡°Your highness, we are not lovers.¡± The prince, who simply ignored my rebuttal, continued. ¡°The Principality is quite far from the kingdom. Are you going to follow him?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± The arrogance peculiar to the royal family, which was on full display when he ignored my words, was not surprising. My whole mind was focused on the word duchy that the prince said. I was right that he¡¯s talking about Tobias Miller¡­.¡­. ¡°Ah, will he bring you?¡± There was a slight sting in the voice that mumbled slowly, so I responded quickly. ¡°I¡¯m going to go to Lunoa soon, too.¡± ¡°Pfft. It¡¯s really true, isn¡¯t it?¡± The prince suddenly laughed strangely. Then he murmured slowly with his mouth covered. ¡°You think you¡¯re the only one who can spend money?¡± ¡°¡­..What?¡± I asked back in shock. What does he mean, spending money? Although he¡¯s an academy student, and his family isn¡¯t well-off¡­¡­ ¡°Does he think it doesn¡¯t matter if he gets caught? You¡¯re such a foolish lover.¡± ¡°Your highness, what are you talking about¡­.¡± Then the prince shrugged. ¡°Oh, I¡¯m sorry if I scared you. I couldn¡¯t help it because I was curious about his preference.¡± The sun was setting little by little. Prince Bentley¡¯s face was colored half in the shade and half by the scarlet light. He continued, ¡°But I was a little surprised.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t have a great memory, but I think I recall¡­. I¡¯m sure you were wearing a dress of this color that day, right?¡± ¡­¡­Dress? This is the only proper dress, so I just changed quickly before getting on the carriage. ¡°That day?¡± Is he talking about the first day I wore this dress? If it¡¯s that day, I¡¯m sure I met Toby who came back from New Ditch¡­¡­. ¡°¡­¡­Ah.¡± No, even if he is a Prince, can he observe innocent people like this? If it¡¯s not stalking, what is it? A sudden urge to blurt out my thoughts, I sealed my lips before the impulse surged up out of me. ¡°So¡­ I think I¡¯m the one who connected your relationship.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Do you know that I¡¯m the one who made you two dance?¡± At his words, I paused, forgetting to breathe out. ¡°I¡¯m the one who ordered Alan to dance with you at the Victory Ball, Miss Collins. I guess he hasn¡¯t met anyone in the meantime because this was his taste.¡± Staring at me with strange eyes, the prince added with a low voice. ¡°This is purely thanks to me. I think I deserve a fair reward.¡± I coughed continuously as if I had a lot of tea stuck in my throat. The inside of the neck and stomach were also painful as if it was being squeezed very hard. ¡°By the way.¡± The prince stood up and approached with a twitching smile. I couldn¡¯t move like a mouse caught in a trap. ¡°I¡¯m still curious.¡± Suddenly, he grabbed my chin. ¡°What are your¡­¡­.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± As the prince¡¯s body leaned toward me, my eyes closed automatically. It was more laborious than I thought to be in a state where I could not shake off the hands of the royal family. ¡°What kind of charms are hidden¡­¡­.¡± My drooping eyelids trembled helplessly. The thick scent coming out of his protruding collar was overwhelming. ¡°He¡­ And¡­¡­.¡± Soon when I felt his breath on my cheek, I spit out my repressed voice with all my might. ¡°Your Highness, you are mistaken¡­¡­!¡± At that moment, I felt like I heard a sound of laughter. The moment his hand fell off my chin, I opened my eyes. The prince had already taken a couple of steps back. With his arms crossed, he looked down at me with a gaze that was mysterious and doubtful like those of a snake, even while they were curved in a smile. ¡°I like your lover¡¯s angry face a lot.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°And I don¡¯t want to end my relationship with him.¡± I was reaching my limit. With the small murmuring, the prince smiled quietly. I managed to open my mouth, feeling that my tightly clenched fingertips were not numb but getting cold. ¡°Your highness, something¡­¡­ I think you¡¯re misunderstanding.¡± How can he come up with such a ridiculous misunderstanding? If he were not a royal family, I would have asked him right away. ¡°Sir Alan and I¡ªbeing lovers¡­¡­. We¡¯re actually!¡± ¡°It¡¯s fine.¡± The prince raised his lips. It was an infinitely relaxed smile. As if my stiff face was amusing to him.. ¡°I¡¯ll have to go see my friend right away, so I¡¯ll send you home now. It¡¯s already dinner time.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± The prince passed by me, who had hardened and knocked on the glass door. Then the door opened immediately by the hand of the official who brought me here. ¡°Take the miss back to her home.¡± ¡°Yes, your highness.¡± ¡°Ms. Collins. I¡¯m sorry I made you come all of a sudden today.¡± At that moment, the prince¡¯s hand gently stroked my hair. I was startled and shrugged my shoulders. ¡°Next time, the three three of us should meet.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Unable to answer anything, I reluctantly turned around following the official after greeting him. Troy in my novel, which resembles Alan, saved the heroine who resembles me, held her whole body, who was trying to escape her fate, and eventually gave her incomparable love. But Alan in reality has no private interest in Melissa Collins. It would have been better if it stopped there¡­¡­ Starting tonight, he may come to despise me. Few things are more disgusting than being involved with an unwanted person. Chapter 32 - It Does Not Befit You Chapter 32: It Does Not Befit You Right after I got off the carriage, I was still swimming in an anxious imagination. It was when I opened the door of the old two-story house that I returned to reality. ¡°Melissa!¡± Only after being enveloped in that faint warmth, familiar smell, and friendly voices. ¡°I¡¯m back¡­..¡± It was purely my fault that dinner was later than usual. Even after we sat down at the table, the already late meal was being delayed further by explaining the incident with Prince Bentley. I didn¡¯t want to cool the food that they had prepared with great care, but in the first place, this was an incident that was born out of a nonsensical misunderstanding. The prince sent me off and went to see Alan right away, so it¡¯s only a one-time fluke. So I said it as simply as possible. It¡¯s absurd to get on the royal carriage because of the prince¡¯s ridiculous misunderstanding. As soon as the misunderstanding was cleared up, the barrage of questions from my mother and Mrs. Kerney ended with the words that the prince had sent me back. My mother still had a disappointing face. ¡°Still, Melissa, the fact that the prince remembered your name and face¡ª¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± By sipping the soup aloud, I expressed my supreme intention not to speak of him any more. Assuming the prince will remember me, would only happen when I am Alan Leopold¡¯s lover. Tonight the prince will find out that I am not Alan¡¯s lover. I wonder if he knows the truth by now. Suddenly, one side of my heart felt cold. I can vividly imagine how Alan Leopold¡¯s face would look when he hears this from the Prince. Now he will definitely hate me. But at least being hated would mean more than indifference. Melissa Collins, who had been no different from an inanimate object for Alan, at least now has some significance. So there¡¯s nothing to be sad about.¡­. ¡­¡­No, nonsense. I am just trying to soothe myself somehow. I became unbearably sad like a lost child. To the point where I can¡¯t deny it. ¡°Do you want more soup, Mel?¡± I, who was only munching on the sweet soup, nodded my head over and over again at Mrs. Kerney¡¯s question. When I opened my mouth, I felt like I was about to burst into tears. ¡°By the way, the old empty house in front.¡± Mrs. Kearney, who handed me a soup plate, opened her mouth as she sat down again. ¡°It seems that the renovation that they¡¯ve been doing for the past few days has finally ended, but it seems that there are still no people living there. Who could it be?¡± Finally, the topic has changed completely. Feeling a deep relief, I lifted my glass of water and moistened my throat. ¡°I don¡¯t know.¡± My mother replied in a calm manner. ¡°Isn¡¯t that the nobleman who wants to spend the social season in the capital? In the winter when there are no events, he will stay in the mansion of the estate.¡± ¡°Yes, that¡¯s what I think¡­¡­ If that¡¯s the case, I don¡¯t know why he bought the house now.¡± I was curious what kind of person he was. Mrs. Kerney muttered as she took out the croutons and ate them. It was a story about an old house in front of our house that could be seen with the naked eye from the window. It is understandable that Mrs. Kerney, who is an extrovert different from my mother and daughter, is curious about it. The fact that a house that no one lived in for years has finally been sold means that there is a new neighbour. But no matter who the new neighbor was, it was good for me, as I don¡¯t have any direct interactions. Rather, it was much more important to soothe this painful heart, which was still unable to focus on eating despite the change in the topic of conversation. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± I can¡¯t believe I became Alan Leopold¡¯s object of hate. I was unbearably afraid. Just thinking about it seemed like my feet were collapsing. Until today, my existence would have been speckly insignificant to him. Perhaps that was the greatest luck I could have? Still, he makes me immersed in all kinds of emotions without any effort. No god can do this. Even if this confession is blasphemy¡­¡­. ¡°Mel, what are you doing? Not eating.¡± ¡°Ah, the taste¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Leave it, madam. She was called to the palace out of nowhere, how tired she must be?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Maybe a couple of glasses of wine could help. I stretched my arms eagerly toward the bottle of wine. * * * The black-painted office door opened loudly. It was an instant that the quiet space became noisy. ¡°Friend!¡± There were few people who could break into Alan Leopold¡¯s office at will. Of all of them, only one was this loud. Alan¡¯s beautiful forehead was distorted. ¡°I heard you left the mansion. What does that mean?¡± The aide who came to report the unexpected appearance of the prince hurriedly bowed down and left the room. As the door slammed shut with a click, Alan¡¯s picturesque lips let out a cool voice. ¡°Bentley.¡± ¡°I¡¯m glad you¡¯re a perfectionist, but it was almost all in vain.¡± The prince buried himself in a leather sofa in the center of the office. His attitude of leaning back with his hands behind his neck in a relaxed manner as if it was his own house was quiet natural ¡°¡­I¡¯m sure it¡¯s a busy time for me.¡± ¡°Ah, I won¡¯t disturb you.¡± The prince politely raised his hands. But his arrival alone was already a huge disturbance. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Alan lowered his neck. In the future, I think it would be better to do overtime at the villa. Would it be better to move half of the office documents to the villa as soon as the morning comes? ¡°At this rate, I want to leave the kingdom even tomorrow.¡± ¡°You¡¯re not ready anyway. And even if you go to Lunoa, we¡¯ll see each other often.¡± ¡°What are you doing in Lunoa?¡± Bentley shrugged at the bored question. ¡°To promote friendship between the two countries? Well, there¡¯s no end to it.¡± ¡°It¡¯s not even funny.¡± Alan replied coldly, but Bentley continued without caring at all. With his glistening golden brown eyes. ¡°More than that, aren¡¯t you curious with who I met?¡± Even when he saw his friend unraveling the cravat in annoyance, the prince¡¯s face did not change. ¡°I don¡¯t care what kind of woman you rolled around with¡ª¡± ¡°Your sweetheart.¡± ¡°Ha.¡± Alan, who burst into laughter, put down his pen aloud. ¡°I have said this over and over again. She¡¯s a family.¡± Monica seemed to have returned to Sorne in the meantime. How long has it been since I forcibly sent her back to the Principality? His long, straight fingers rested on her sculptural white, straight forehead. ¡°If you¡¯re here to talk nonsense,¡± ¡°Nonsense? I don¡¯t think so¡± The hand that touched the eyelids stopped moving when the prince suddenly stood up and said out a name. ¡°Melissa Collins.¡± ¡°¡­ What?¡± Bentley took a leisurely step in front of the desk where his old friend sat. ¡°I met Melissa Collins, Alan.¡± Then, he fully appreciated his fair, beautiful face hardening. As if observing very good art, with arms folded leisurely. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± After a brief silence, the icy blue-gray gaze that had stopped on the document slowly lifted. The prince swallowed his breath at the sharp light flashing under the black eyelashes. ¡°Did you touch her?¡± A low-pitched sound as cold as a knife pierced his eardrums. Bentley took a trembling step back and rambled, ¡°It¡¯s thanks to me. You got involved with her. If I hadn¡¯t ordered you to dance with the woman who dropped the letter¡­¡± ¡°Answer me.¡± From the time he entered the office, he could tell at once that Alan was on edge. But since Alan wasn¡¯t the sensitive type, he didn¡¯t think it was a big deal. But the energy that comes out of him today is close to¡­¡­. ¡°Did you touch Melissa Collins?¡± It was close to a murderous threatening aura. ¡°N, no! Of course not!¡± It was better not to mention touching Melissa Collins¡¯ hair. He didn¡¯t know it would feel so fortunate that he didn¡¯t reach out to her more than that. ¡°I had no bad intentions! I was just curious about your lover. You never wanted to show me first.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Alan, who stood up silently, faced Bentley with his desk in between. It was a cool face like the moon. ¡°I-I told you my secret!¡± The prince continued in dismay. ¡°If you dress up and walk around the city, it will help you breathe.¡­.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°You didn¡¯t even listen to it then, but now you put it into action¡­¡­ because of a woman¡­¡­!¡± With a light sigh, low-lying eyes hid inside the pale eyelids. ¡°Did you send someone?¡± ¡°Sir Alan, I¡ª¡± ¡°Stop it, whatever it is.¡± It was then that the owner of the office opened his eyes and looked at the man standing in front of him. ¡°She¡¯s not my lover.¡± ¡°No? Then.¡­.¡± ¡°Not yet.¡± At that short word, the prince¡¯s eyes opened wide into question. Either way, Alan turned and walked neatly, picking up a black coat hanging from the corner of his office, and added. ¡°Is the carriage down there?¡± ¡°What are you going to do? Mate, I don¡¯t think she has feelings for¡ª¡± ¡°Your Highness.¡± Bentley, who was approaching Alan, stopped. The scent of cigar, wet soil, and dense wild rose were smelled one after another. ¡°I don¡¯t want to harm the royal family.¡± A straight, but strangely overbearing tone. It was definitely a warning. ¡°¡­¡­You acted like you weren¡¯t interested in women, but what are you going to do with that shabby woman?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Are you fooling me unilaterally¡­.¡± The prince¡¯s murmur could no longer continue and was swallowed. ¡°You know, Bentley. There are countless ways to strangle you.¡± ¡°Sir Alan. You must be mistaken¡­¡­ I¡¯m the only one in the kingdom¡ª-!¡± Alan laughed slowly. ¡°¡ªWho is a Prince, yes. How can I not know that?¡± The way he looked back at an old friend with his coat on his arm was unattractively elegant. The elegant lips were curved as if painted. ¡°Your Highness, humble prince who will hand over the throne to the first royal daughter and wash only his fingers.*¡± (T/N: a Korean idiom meaning, a person who narrowly missed the chance to become something/achieve) Alan¡¯s lips were smiling as he bowed his head politely. But when he finally raised his eyes, his face was as chilly as a cold night. ¡°Get rid of all the things you put on Melissa Collins.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°It¡¯s a waste of manpower for someone who¡¯s about to disappear.¡± ¡°I¡­¡± Bentley had never fully read Alan Leopold¡¯s mind for a single moment. But this was the peak. Is it an illusion that even Alan himself seems to be lost somewhere? ¡°B-buddy, just in case¡­¡­.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Dangerous thoughts¡­¡­.¡± There was no end to his questions, but the cold gaze of the man of achromatic color loosened his whole body. A sense of pressure as if he was getting strangled. Maybe something dangerous will happen. However, the prince could only lick his lips with a bewildered look on his face. ¡°What, haaa ¡­.¡± Soon Bentley scattered his golden hair. As if he didn¡¯t know anymore. ¡°¡­¡­I don¡¯t know.¡± ¡°Yes, stop caring about the shabby things.¡± Because it does not befit you. Like you. With a light smile, Alan tapped Bentley on his left shoulder twice and left the office without looking back. The golden epaulettes trembled over his shoulders, where his black leather gloves had rested. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± It was chilly for some reason. Chapter 33 - Storms Chapter 33: Storms The New Year has come, but nothing has changed. I am still obsessed with writing. When I couldn¡¯t think of anything, I read . While I was waiting for the backlash of mistaking Alan and I as lovers, I immersed myself in the mysterious atmosphere of the book, felt the printed letters with my fingertips and put my cheeks on it. I cried a lot while reading it again. The sad feelings that arose in the process made me more desperate. It¡¯s a good thing that I could busy myself with writing so I could send it to the academy. My incident with the prince and my painful thoughts about Alan were slowly fading away. It was still a cold season outside, but spring was also coming gently, just as the new year had changed that I couldn¡¯t realise. With a different complexion. It was comforting even though it was a natural fact. Alan Leopold hasn¡¯t come to my dream since that dawn. Is it natural that it happens once every few years? But I was thankful nonetheless. Now, when it is clear that he has come to hate me¡ª him not appearing in my dream was helping me. I didn¡¯t know if Alan would appear in my dream tonight, but if he did, he would despise me and make me cry¡ªhow could I hope for him to hug me? And the next morning when I woke up like that, I wouldn¡¯t be able to hold a pen in my hand. It¡¯s never going to get all right, but I hoped he wouldn¡¯t come to my dream until I become a little more dull. Anyway, everything was quite smooth. It¡¯s rare these days for me to go out, let alone go to the coffee shop three times a week, but the stalker was also not appearing in my daily life. Even though Greg had come to our house a few times while I did not go out, there was never a blood-soaked note between the pieces of meat in the box. Did something happen to the stalker? Or, did he finally get away from me? If it was really like that, there would have been nothing more pleasant than that. The only worry I have is that Tobias¡¯s letter has never arrived. He would have had more than enough to have arrived in the Principality, settled down and wrote to me by now. Is it because he is busy adjusting? Or is it still on a ship? Or is it lost? Whatever it was, I had to wait patiently. If there is no reply from me for a long time, Toby is someone who will send me a friendly letter again and again. The point is, there¡¯s nothing that would break my concentration in any way right now. So, it was the perfect time to write my novel. ¡°Lady, your friend has come.¡± ¡°¡­¡­Ah.¡± I was surprised by Julia¡¯s voice and took in a breath. I can¡¯t believe I was concentrating enough to hold my breath. I closed my notebook and went down to the first floor, I could see Viola and my mother talking. ¡°Viola!¡± It was fortunate that her face looked better than when I had seen her before. ¡°Then go upstairs. Let me pick up the tea.¡± ¡°Thank you, ma¡¯am.¡± My mother and Viola, who finished the conversation, looked at me at the same time. Both of them looked like they had a lot to say for some reason. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Ah, look at my mind. I suddenly realized that I didn¡¯t tell the story of Jacob to Viola. I can¡¯t believe I forgot like this.¡­. I held Viola¡¯s hand and thought all the way up the stairs. It wouldn¡¯t have been too late. When I go into my room, I will talk about Jacob right away. ¡°Melissa.¡± But when Viola, who was holding my hand, looked straight into my eyes, I quickly noticed that there was no need for that. ¡°I¡¯m getting married.¡± To me, who had forgotten to even answer, she continued to speak with a sad smile. ¡°With Jacob.¡± ¡°Viola, actually¡­¡± ¡°I heard you met him.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± It was not a tone of blaming at all. Rather, it was surprisingly calm. I clenched my delicate fingertips a little harder and waited for what would follow. ¡°He said he had the courage to come to me thinking that you had already conveyed your words.¡± ¡°Sorry, I should¡¯ve told you right away. Suddenly, the Prin¡ª¡± ¡°Don¡¯t apologize, Mel.¡± We sat side by side on the bed. ¡°I got a lot of help from you. You took the time to meet him. I almost couldn¡¯t even hear his sincerity because I was hiding in fear.¡± Viola raised her bloodless lips and smiled. It was a tired face, but it was a comfortable smile without any adornment. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Obviously, I wanted Jacob to have a chance to convey his sincerity to Viola. Had I not been summoned to the royal palace out of the blue, I would have visited the Graham¡¯s mansion on that day. But it didn¡¯t mean I was set on the two to be in love with each other again. I just hoped that the end of the two beautiful lovers would not be the worst. Trapping herself in the room¡ª Viola had said she no more believes in love. Her heartache was so great that she had completely abolished her food and drinks, so her resentment must have been great. However, it was my judgment at the time that the last time with Jacob she wanted could not be in that form. Moreover, if it¡¯s marriage¡­¡­. If my only friend had come to ask for an opinion on this marriage, I would have stopped her without any hesitation. The second question was whether or not to believe him that he did not even try to make a child, let alone knowing the existence of the child. Rather, the fact that viola, who just became an adult, has to raise a three-year-old child as her own son¡­¡­. That¡¯s a ridiculous and harsh thing to do. But the important thing was that she didn¡¯t come to ask me for advice. Viola, who was still small in stature, was now pitifully thin, but only her eyes were strong. I couldn¡¯t help but realize how firm her resolve was. ¡°Viola.¡± So, I guess it¡¯s already too late to change her mind with my few words of worry or nagging. ¡°Are you sure you¡¯re okay? Did you forgive him for everything?¡± ¡°Melissa, I thought a lot.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°No matter what the past was, I knew his sincerity toward me remained unchanged. Me too¡­ I don¡¯t want to deny the time and feelings I had for him.¡± I tried to say anything, but I was choked by the determined gaze. ¡°There will be no one in my life who will love me this much again¡­¡­.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± I thought for a moment about what to say. Whatever choice Viola makes, it¡¯s up to her. that I can neither take responsibility nor replace. But ¡°Viola, just in case¡­¡­.¡± I only really hope for her happiness. Although it is not a marriage full of unhappiness and wounds forced by the eyes of society. ¡°That wasn¡¯t the only option, was it? Not your doctor¡­¡­.¡± (T/N: she¡¯s asking if she is pregnant) Viola with a faint smile shook her head weakly. ¡°It¡¯s my decision. There was also the will of my family, but I¡­¡­I love Jacob.¡± ¡°I¡¯m glad to hear that¡­¡­.¡± Viola added to me, who still looked gloomy. As if she was trying to make me feel relieved. ¡°I¡¯ve heard all the past stories. He was just a little unlucky¡­¡­. Life is originally full of trials, Mel.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°As you live your life, you will come across a number of harsher winds and waves than this, but¡­¡­ If you can overcome it with someone you love, that¡¯s really¡­¡­.¡± Viola¡¯s voice became a little lower and firmer than I remembered. Viola was more determined than anyone else when it comes to confident things. I¡¯ve always envied her for that. ¡°Then the child¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I¡¯m going to raise him.¡± I was just staring helplessly at Viola¡¯s eyes which were gently getting wet. ¡°I¡¯m scared too, Mel. Everything¡­ I¡¯m afraid¡­¡­ Because it¡¯s his child.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°So¡­ I¡¯ll try to love him. Now I¡¯m going to be the mother of that child.¡­.¡± So congratulate me, okay? Viola whispered, burying her head on my shoulder. I hugged her dry shoulders with trembling hands. * * * It was my first time visiting Piccom. My friend¡¯s wedding was held just a week after she visited my house. It was an excruciatingly cold day. It was brief, but it snowed. The two, who became a couple with a sacred declaration, went down the stairs of the cathedral with excited steps. The guests standing next to me applauded or threw petals and watched them. Viola, wearing a white wedding dress and a wreath woven with flowers, was trembling. She was smiling, but the tip of her nose was red. Her hand on Jacob¡¯s reliable arm looked exceptionally small. ¡°Melissa.¡± My mother once again poked my side with her elbow. It was because it¡¯s rude to cry like that at the wedding of a close friend. I didn¡¯t even know why I was crying so much. ¡°Are you still crying?¡± After the wedding and before returning to the capital, Viola, whose eyes were dyed red, approached with a clear face, pretending to be calm. We shared a friendly hug. ¡°I¡¯ve lived in Florin all my life. Piccom doesn¡¯t have mom and dad¡­¡­.¡± She soothed me, saying she would go play often, but I was not young enough to not know how far away a married woman was from freedom here in Sourne. It would have been the same with Viola. When I returned to the capital, I felt strangely alone. It¡¯s not like I don¡¯t have a family. We knew for sure that one day we would get married and end up parting our ways. So I thought it would be fine.¡­ But I didn¡¯t know that day would come so soon. As I followed my mother into the house full of the winter breeze, Mrs Kerney and Julia took turns hugging me. I didn¡¯t want to believe that our girl days were over. My eyelids were heavy and painful. Am I still crying? ¡°It¡¯s okay, Melissa.¡± Mrs. Kearney, the gentle madam, said a friendly word on behalf of my mother. ¡°Your friend will live well. You can visit her whenever you miss me. As long as it¡¯s alive.¡± ¡°¡­..That¡¯s right, madam.¡± I replied, wiping my tears with my sleeves. As Viola said, this will also be one of many storms in life. I suddenly thought that becoming an adult would be a process of getting used to the constantly rushing currents of life. Since then, there have been many days when I shed tears for no reason. Even though I¡¯m not alone, I feel like I¡¯m completely alone. I tried to focus more on writing my novel. I also have to move on. After making up my mind like that, I wasn¡¯t as lonely as I thought. I was deeply immersed in that artificial and cozy peace. Unfortunately, my simple daily life did not last long. Chapter 34 - I’m Close Enough To Reach You Chapter 34: I¡¯m Close Enough To Reach You It was a sunny Sunday afternoon. ¡°Melissa!¡± Mrs. Kerney knocked the door brightly. My upper body, which was lying flat enough to almost hit my nose on the desk, lifted up reflexively. Was I buried in the smell of ink too much? I suddenly felt dizzy. ¡°The letter you¡¯ve been waiting for.¡± What Madam handed me with her playful gesture was an envelope with the Leopold seal clearly stamped on it. I took it and stiffened. ¡°I took it out before Mrs. Collins would open it up.¡± Madam smiled humorously and beckoned me to turn the envelope upside down. ¡¸Tobias Miller¡¹ ¡°Ah!¡± Finally! I couldn¡¯t hold back the laughter that leaked out. It was very awkward to have his name and Leopold¡¯s seal together, but I will soon get used to it. I hurriedly opened the letter knowing that Madam was next to me. Mrs. Kerney, who looked down at me as if it was unfamiliar, quietly left the room. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± More than a month has already passed since the date on the letter, and seeing that the appreciation of the Principality was written as if he had just arrived, this is the first letter. Contrary to my worries, it is fortunate that it was not lost and came into my hands, but the content was simpler than expected. For example, like Lunoa, which boasts a mild climate, is cool in the middle of winter, or complaining that there are many things to do¡ªsuch as making sure the office and furniture were clean¡ªbecause he came early before the launch of the new business. Other than that, there was a brief description of colleagues selected together. Nevertheless, I laughed automatically because the letter he wrote seemed to be filled with expectations for the upcoming work. The letter ended with the words that he would look forward to the day I come there and said hello to Collins and the people. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± For some reason, a corner of my chest felt cold, so I blinked my eyes vaguely. It was because I suddenly realized that he left Sorne. ¡°It was a fact I already knew, but it¡¯s a new thing.¡± Nothing changed even if I muttered to myself. I was somehow helpless by the loneliness that rushed in, as if I was about to be swallowed up by it. Is it more so because Viola left Florin? Come to think of it, I now have no one to accompany, or no one to even go to the coffee shop with, or for the coming social season. In other words, I became a perfect loner. But the loneliness that comes from it is actually only superficial. What¡¯s important is that both Tobias and Viola have taken a big step toward their respective life directions. So, what really bothers me is the present reality of being alone and standing still, unable to take a single step from where I am. And it was very clear that the only way to quench this thirst was to win Lunoa Study Abroad with my novel. Wouldn¡¯t it be great if I could write as much as you want in Lunoa, the land of great writers? I want to complete my work there. Never in my life have I felt such a strong desire. Of course, this longing does not stem from Tobias, who is waiting for me to come. It¡¯s a pleasure for him to go to the Principality, but even if he hadn¡¯t been selected, I would have followed my dream and started studying abroad without hesitation. It¡¯s only his choice whether to wait for me or find someone else. I grabbed the pen again. The problem is that I put down the pen again shortly. ¡°Can this even be called love¡­..¡± Troy knew the heart of the heroine who had long admired him. One day, he also began to watch her with an interesting gaze, even saving her life from falling in the snow. However, is Troy¡¯s emotion love? In fact, it was difficult for even me as a writer to be sure of this part easily. This was because he was a difficult person to accompany. I¡¯ve been rolling my pen all the way here, but it¡¯s a dead end again. Of course, when writing, there is no end to facing difficulties. In this case, I often feel trapped in a keyless cell. If there¡¯s a person who looks like him in reality, I might get a hint, but¡­¡­. ¡°There is a person he resembles.¡± Of course, it¡¯s not that there¡¯s no one who looks like Troy. But he has a peerless existence. To me, he is also unrealistic. I ended up closing the notebook because I didn¡¯t know what to call this emotion. ¡°At this rate, March will come soon¡­¡­.¡± I was heartbroken that I hadn¡¯t written more of my story as I wanted. There¡¯s no way I¡¯ll be able to fully rest until I¡¯m done writing. At times like this, I am deeply worried about what will happen after I have achieved my dream of becoming a writer. Will I be able to be a writer for the rest of my life? Although it is a vain thought about a dream that has not yet come true. Given that it is impossible to produce a work that will satisfy you completely for the rest of your life, being a writer may be a very lonely and sad job. Something you love enough to give your life, but you can¡¯t have it completely. To have to follow only such a fictitious fantasy all the time. ¡°¡­¡­After all, it¡¯s love.¡± Nevertheless, it can¡¯t be helped. The comfort and love I get from novels rather than people feel much bigger and greater to me. When I let out a slow sigh and pressed my right cheek on the old leather cover, a cold feeling stuck. My head became complicated and busy. It¡¯s painful. But just a few days after that, I realized. How splendid luxury it was to talk about pain in the agony of love. * * * It was a dead end again. I came down to the first floor and was playing the piano blankly. It was because Troy¡¯s feelings could not be resolved, so even though I wrote the story while leaving the lines empty, it was frustrating as if something was blocked. My piano skills have stopped at the level I learned from a tutor when I was young. Of course, it¡¯s not at a very great level. There are only a few songs I can play. Nevertheless, I really like the unique honest and simple fact of pressing a key to make a sound. Sometimes when you do something that has nothing to do with writing a novel, something shiny comes to mind. Hoping for such a small aberration, I was already pressing the old keyboard for almost an hour. At that time, someone knocked on the door outside. Surprised, I put down the keyboard cover. It was early evening, but my mother, who had been sleeping a lot, had not yet woken up from a nap, Mrs. Kerney went to the market, and Julia¡­¡­ I don¡¯t know where she went, but she was gone. Well, kids of that age are full of energy. So, I¡¯m in a situation where I have to receive this unknown visitor¡­¡­. Bang, Bang. At that moment, I heard another banging sound outside. It was clearly urgent. ¡°C-coming¡­¡­!¡± As I reluctantly walked, I couldn¡¯t shake the feeling that something was odd. Because the person standing outside the door was not saying anything. Just like Mr. Greg, who comes to deliver meat, people who come to the house with a business purpose usually knock on the door and hear his voice. Calling someone in the house, or identifying themselves. ¡°Who¡­¡± I carefully loosened the old brass bar. Then, along with the cold winter wind, a mysterious visitor filled my sight. The person standing at the door was a tall man in a black coat. But I couldn¡¯t even ask him a natural question about who you were and what you came for. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± A black, tall bowler hat and a pure white mask that covers the entire face, what..¡­. The extraordinary and suspicious-looking man, who looked like a magician or a participant in a masquerade, was so strange that it caused the illusion that what I was seeing now might be in vain. But somehow I couldn¡¯t take my eyes off him. Am I dreaming? While I was frozen with my lips open, the man put his hand inside the coat as if looking for something. And when his hand was pulled out again, a faint scent came from the man¡¯s arms. Even in the strong wind, it is subtle and clear. The moment I inhaled that sweet misty scent, I was momentarily dazed. It was because I couldn¡¯t pinpoint the scent, but it felt strangely familiar. ¡­¡­Is it just me? At that moment, long fingers wrapped in black leather gloves held out a white envelope. While being momentarily dazed, I received it and looked at his eyes with a puzzled face. Meanwhile, the man was also silently looking down at me. His eyes could not be seen well because the bowler hat¡¯s elegant brim created a dark shade over the mask. But¡­¡­ ¡°¡­¡­.¡± It was a fleeting moment, but it was a similar light pale blue that made one shiver. ¡°Gasp¡­..!¡± I was so surprised that I quickly came inside the house. When I hurriedly closed the door and hung a latch like a person who had committed a crime, my breathless heart pounded, my chest rising and falling fast. The gate behind my back was icy cold. It definitely looked like Troy¡¯s eyes. ¡­¡­People with such eye color are not common at all. Am I at the point where I am starting to see things that I want to see now? Side effects of being too preoccupied with Troy in the novel? Of course, I actually know someone with eyes like that. From whom I borrowed Troy¡¯s appearance¡­..¡­. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± At that moment, the envelope I was holding tightly in my hand crumpled and made a rustling sound. It was because I put strength in my hands without realizing it. That small sound and touch saved me from my daze. ¡°W, no, wait¡­¡­.¡± I fumbled helplessly near my heart, which began to beat hard. The man didn¡¯t seem real at all. Tall, covering his face, sending out a letter silently¡­¡­ Unidentified¡­¡­. ¡°Maybe I met¡­¡­¡­.¡± Maybe I met the stalker? Is he finally going to show himself? ¡°Because¡­.. I ignored your request?¡± Suddenly, my mind went blank. In alarm, my ears began to ring. Dangerous. Something really dangerous might happen. The inside of the door with a tight latch will be safer than anywhere else for now. Even though I thought like that, I opened the door. It was an act that skipped rational judgment without having time to listen to the orders of consciousness. ¡°Ah¡­¡± But the man had already disappeared. Only the cold wind like a blade gently scratches my hot cheeks. Closing the door with trembling hands, I slid down silently and opened the envelope with nothing written on it. There was a small piece of paper in it. A piece of gold-rimmed paper that seems to have been torn from a notebook. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± And when I encounter that strange and familiar handwriting. My ominous premonition did not go wrong, ¡°Then, the nobleman who bought the mansion across the street¡­¡­.¡± The frightening man really was the stalker. ¡°This is absurd..¡­.¡± I was sure without difficulty. Chapter 35 - I Allow It Chapter 35: I Allow It The identity of the neighbor who suddenly bought an old mansion that had been vacant for a very long time across from our house, Was the stalker. I must be crazy. I can¡¯t believe this can be reality. The surreal strange man sounded and looked like a tall and young gentleman. Long, red hair fluttered in the wind¡­¡­ it must have been a wig. Even though his face was completely covered and his hands were covered in black gloves, it was not difficult to guess that he would be quite young because of his upright posture. Wide shoulders and a straight back that didn¡¯t bend at all, even in a long coat that reached near his ankles. His image was still vivid in my mind. The stalker has now come to reveal himself and has gently specified where he is. He, who has always felt like smoke or ghost, is finally in shape. Then, what actions can I take now? Reporting the owner of the house across the street to the police? The only evidence for that is a few notes and a butcher¡¯s eyewitness. It is questionable how seriously the corrupt Florin police will listen when the daughter of a lame family who cannot stimulate the taste buds* complains of stalking. (* It means a person who isn¡¯t seductive/attractive) Considering the movements of the police here, it would be fortunate if they kick me out and shake away their hands. All the more so because I, Melissa Collins, wouldn¡¯t have any money to bride them with. Can I beat the stalker in the first place? I ignored the crazy fellow¡¯s demands and so he bought a mansion to watch me closely in my house? ¡­¡­Maybe it¡¯s impossible to even reach a point of agreement? Far from being rational, there is no way I can have a proper conversation with the person who is strange and twisted to the fullest, and in the first place, he is not a good person with whom I could try to have a conversation with an equal footing. He¡¯s not normal. What I learned after meeting him in person was that Viola¡¯s expectation that the stalker was the head of the beggars was far from the correct answer. As expected, he is a wealthy man.¡­. ¡°There¡¯s a high probability that he has a lot of power.¡­.¡± The moment I met him, I couldn¡¯t help but notice. The achromatic man in all black and wearing a white mask hid himself completely¡ªbut he couldn¡¯t hide his sense of intimidation. It was definitely not the kind of atmosphere one could easily have. It is terrifying to think about it again and again that he, who seemed to have lost interest in me completely, reappeared. Furthermore, he revealed where he lived as if I were to visit. I don¡¯t think he¡¯ll always be there¡ªMrs. Kearney said it didn¡¯t look like a person was living in that mansion¡ªbut it was as if he expressed his intention to bring me into his place¡­.¡­ It was a chilling horror. However, one strange fact is that when he came, I didn¡¯t feel like he was trying to hurt me at all, even though there was no one other than me. Whatever his plan was, it was a perfect situation to fulfill it¡­¡­. I don¡¯t know the intention, but in some sense, it is clear that he wanted me or somethi¡­.ng I have. But why did he disappear as soon as he delivered the letter? The stalker¡¯s thoughts, intentions, and even a spot cannot be assumed. I belatedly realized how cozy the past few days were when I was worried about not being able to empathize with the emotions of the character Troy. Maybe he enjoys scaring the weak¡­ ¡­He might be some kind of pervert¡­. ¡°I¡¯m getting goosebumps¡­¡­.¡± ¡­¡­Whatever it may be, there is only one thing I can do in a strange and frightening situation. Leaving the Sourne Kingdom. Being a wealthy and powerful man means that he has a lot of things, which is responsibility. He will not be infinitely free from the things he has to take care of. He probably wouldn¡¯t be able to leave everything behind and follow me to other countries. I was forced to return to the theoretical conclusion. ¡°I have to write my novel.¡± Let¡¯s finish the first half and the middle within March and send it to the academy. Let¡¯s write a masterpiece so that my novel will surely win. I have to write it so desperately and earnestly that I have to focus my everything while writing the novel. Because that¡¯s the only thing I have. * * * One evening, after I had finished praying, I spoke to my mother. ¡°Mom.¡± Of course, I didn¡¯t mean to say that I met a stalker. Because his target should be only Melissa Collins, not my family. I don¡¯t want to add a weight of anxiety on my mother¡¯s scale full of worries. As long as I leave for the Principality safely, the shadow of the stalker on the roof will naturally disappear. ¡°I have something to tell you.¡± My mother, who had slept a lot until evening, looked back at me with her slightly swollen eyes. ¡°What are you talking about?¡± She looked a little surprised. Needless to say, I, who had been stuck in my room recently, rarely opened my mouth even during mealtime. Like someone who forgot what to say. ¡°I told you before,¡­¡­ I¡¯m still writing. In fact, I¡¯m writing much more seriously than mom thinks.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Mother and Mrs. Kerney quietly exchanged glances. ¡°¡­¡­The Academy is accepting novel manuscripts. It is part of the development of the cultural industry led by the royal family, and if a novel is selected, they will send the author to study abroad.¡± ¡°You now¡­¡± ¡°Mom, if my novel is selected, please allow me to go to Lunoa.¡± She would have known that I was writing from Mrs. Kerney, who frequently visited my room, but my mother slowly began to contort her forehead¡­¡­ ¡°Of course, all expenses are covered by the royal family. The only thing that will put pressure on households¡ª¡± ¡°Melissa, stop.¡± Eventually, she cut off my words. ¡°Mom, I¡­!¡± ¡°As far as writing as a hobby, yes, I knew¡ªbut¡­¡± My mother looked strangely angry. ¡°Studying abroad?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Tonight, I think I¡¯m going to eat a little cold food. My mother¡¯s voice being like this means that the story gets longer. But I also couldn¡¯t understand. All expenses would be covered. Why? Is it too much for me to dream? To the point where I have to face mom¡¯s scary face? ¡°You¡­ Were you hanging on to such a ridiculous illusion? These days, you¡¯ve been¡­¡± ¡°Mom, it¡¯s my dream. I¡¯ve thought countless times, but there¡¯s no other way for me. I¡¯m not saying marriage is not important.¡­ At least for me, it¡¯s much more urgent than that.¡± ¡°Huh¡­¡± ¡°I¡¯m not asking for your support! I¡¯m just saying that I¡¯ll do my best for my dream.¡­.¡± ¡°It¡¯s just a dream, right?¡± My mother nervously closed her eyes as if she was getting a headache. ¡°I¡¯m sorry I couldn¡¯t afford to send you to the academy. But what should I do with this reality?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°And how great do you think your frail talent will be in front of academy majors or those who have lived their whole lives as nameless writers?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.are you saying I don¡¯t deserve to try, mom?¡± I also ended up speaking with a sharp voice. You¡¯re just trying to intimidate me and control me. Because I, the only daughter, want to live my way. ¡°Fine. Try.¡± My mother smiled coldly. ¡°But can you give up cleanly after failing at this little hopeless task?¡± ¡°That¡¯s¡­!¡± ¡°I¡¯m sure you¡¯ll waste all the most valuable time of your life following a vain dream, but what do you want me to allow?¡± Tears welled up at those words. My throat was choked and no words came out. My mother started eating with a dry face. All I could do was swallow my tears as I heard the silverware and plates collide. ¡°Ahem, Mrs. Collins.¡± Then Mrs. Kerney opened her mouth. ¡°Melissa probably doesn¡¯t understand the meaning behind the madam¡¯s words.. She¡¯s sincerely writing, I¡¯ve seen her seriously writing the novel..¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Lady doesn¡¯t even know that Melissa is a girl with a deep heart for her age.¡± My mother¡¯s hand, which was tearing the bread into small pieces, stopped. Mrs. Kerney continued, ¡°If your novel is not selected, you can use it as a hobby until you get married. Fine, Melissa?¡± I know that my novel is extremely unlikely to be selected. And I didn¡¯t even know that Mrs. Kearney¡¯s words were the best now. ¡°¡­¡­Yes, I will.¡± ¡°Did you hear that, ma¡¯am? That¡¯s what I¡¯m saying! She¡¯s the only daughter who came back alive from the threshold of the underworld, and please allow this much.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°There¡¯s nothing to worry about, isn¡¯t there a young man who follows her around because he likes her. Right?¡± Mrs. Kerney added, dipping a piece of bread in my soup. I saw my mother wiping away tears who had burst into tears. The moment her mother lifted her glass and drank her water was as long as time stretched. When the cup was finally placed on the table, ¡°Okay, I got it.¡± ¡°Ah¡­¡± ¡°¡­¡­I allow it because I know it won¡¯t work.¡± The mother reluctantly said out the words of permission in a clear tone. ¡°Did you think that if you told me there was no cost, I would absolutely allow you? Don¡¯t be mistaken, Melissa.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°It¡¯s easy to leave home and live alone in another country. Just because you become an adult doesn¡¯t mean you suddenly become an adult. You have a weak body, yet unnecessarily stubborn¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Mom¡­¡± ¡°¡­¡­There are many times when I wonder if you¡¯re the child I gave birth to¡ªah, my stomach hurts.¡± She looks just like her dad. My mother muttered in a lonely tone for some reason. Even though I managed to get permission, it was hard for me to eat because of the tears that kept squeezing out. After the heavy dinner, I got up with a dry greeting. Mrs. Kerney was trying to change the subject in a hurry, perhaps because the awkward atmosphere was bothering her. ¡°By the way, there is no such thing as a miracle, considering the time when Melissa died and came back to life. Right, Mrs. Collins?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°How frightened I was when I heard you were passed out in a carriage that took you home?¡± ¡­¡­After all, it¡¯s my story. Feeling embarrassed, I quickly turned around while trying to help organize the table. ¡°It¡¯s a miracle that Sir Alan discovered her before it was too late while passing by nearby in time¡­¡­.¡± As I moved up the stairs, Mrs Kerney¡¯s voice echoed clearly in my ears. Maybe it¡¯s because madam¡¯s voice is on the high pitch side, maybe it¡¯s because it¡¯s Alan¡¯s name¡­. ¡°Now that I think about it, Melissa is amazing, too. She fainted after telling him her home address. I¡¯m so proud of her, ho, ho!¡± As I climbed the old wooden stairs, I suddenly stopped walking. I¡¯ve never told him where my house is. I fainted when I saw someone approaching me, so I don¡¯t even remember being rescued by Alan Leopold. There¡¯s no way I, who passed out, could have spoken to him. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± How did he know my address? Chapter 36 - Alan Leopold’s Perfume Chapter 36: Alan Leopold¡¯s Perfume Even after returning to the room, I couldn¡¯t hide my strange feeling. How did Alan Leopold know my address? It is certain that Alan at that time must have known my name. I¡¯ve been a socialite for a while just because I danced with him. Even the academy, which had nothing to do with me, was noisy under the name of Melissa Collins, so it is hard to say that my name would not have entered the ears of the person who danced with me. However, to assume that Alan Leopold carried me in the carriage and inquired about Collins¡¯ location here and there, this is also somewhat dubious. I heard that my body was still cold when he arrived home with me, which would mean that the time I spent in the carriage was not long. At that time, I collapsed on the way home, so it would be natural to interpret that the carriage headed straight for my house on that road. Also, at that time it was snowing so heavily that it would have been difficult to even find the passers-by. It makes no sense to go looking for someone who knew Collins on that empty street. Then, how did Alan come to my house at once? Does it mean he already knew where I was? ¡°¡­No, there¡¯s no reason for that.¡± I sat down in front of the desk and muttered. It was an absurd guess, but my fingertips were numb just by imagining it. ¡°Does it not fit with what Prince Bentley told me¡­¡­.¡± If I think about it in common sense, wouldn¡¯t it be like this? Alan repeatedly asked me for the address, and I blurted out the location of my house, in my dreamy state. Like talking in my sleep. ¡°¡­¡­That¡¯s why I don¡¯t remember.¡± Thinking like that, I felt like I had found the hypothesis that was closest to the answer. This is probably close to the answer. ¡°Phew¡­¡± When it comes to Alan Leopold, my habit of being constantly preoccupied with even trivial things rarely shows signs of being fixed. The days I ran into him are already long ago. The word unrequited love is infinitely fresh and fragile. It¡¯s beautiful like a grass flower with sunlight, and it¡¯s also precious at first glance. However, because of that fresh feeling, even now as an adult, I am still frantically going back and forth between winter and spring. What kind of irony is this? Will the day come when I¡¯ll be free from this one-sided love? Someday I will become someone¡¯s wife, become a mother, and even though I am living the quiet days of nothing, for some reason, I feel like he will continue to live in me. Unbending, cold, lonely, beautiful. Just like my love right now. However, no matter how Alan Leopold is the source of my literary sensibility, it is terribly harmful to me now. For me now, who is desperately in a hurry to cling to only writing. I let out a small sigh and neatly tied my voluminous hair. ¡°¡­..let¡¯s write, Melissa.¡± I opened my old notebook. Reciting as if I am promising, ¡°I will definitely go to Lunoa.¡± In a place where it is neither futile nor wrong for a woman to become a writer. I want to become whole through writing. This is a hundred percent pure aspiration. ¡°I can go.¡± I managed to grab my pen. For some time, I was able to write down sentences that I liked quite easily. Although it was close to coercion, my mindset has changed, perhaps because I was allowed by my mother. I felt free as if I had taken off the reins. The burden of not knowing Troy¡¯s heart, which had been painfully unresolved all this time, was also released when I came to the conclusion that it was okay for me as a writer to not necessarily know everything. I decided to portray him as an ambiguous figure until the very end. By not showing everything, the character of Troy may become more mysterious and affectionate. The moon hides a dark side, but there is no one who does not love the subtle moonlight of the night sky. Alan, who became the motif of Troy, is also the same. After thinking this far, everything went smoothly after a long time. The pen tip began to run smoothly on the rough paper. And in my imagination, I already became a writer. With a very happy face, I was running innocently through the capital of Principality where the sunset was setting. One hand holds a book with my name on it, and the other hand holds a bunch of flowers for my loved one. The fresh bouquet will be placed on the quiet dinner table for two people. In the midst of contemplating and writing for such a long time, as a habit, I remembered Alan Leopold. Because he did not know that in the near future I would go to the Principality. I couldn¡¯t get rid of my thoughts about him and just kept it in my arms. If I hadn¡¯t thought of Alan, I could have written more stories a little faster. When it comes to him, I become helpless like a butterfly that always wanders in the fog. This is purely my problem. ¡°Yawn¡­¡± Stretching very slowly, I yawned long. It was immediately after that I closed the notebook. It was a dark dawn before I knew it. * * * It was a rainy afternoon when there was a sudden gust of wind in Collins¡¯ daily life, which seemed to be calm and boring without anything else. ¡°I¡­¡­¡± While holding a late lunch, Julia approached with an anxious face. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, ma¡¯am¡­¡­.¡± It was not common for Julia to come near the table at mealtime because she had a habit of taking her share of her meal to the room and eating it alone. However, Julia¡¯s words brought more shock. ¡°The one who took the money from the cupboard¡­¡­ It¡¯s me.¡± Neither I nor the two ladies spoke for a while. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± I was surprised that my mother and Mrs. Kerney had not scolded her yet. They couldn¡¯t have not known the person who took the money from both of them was Julia. ¡°Why did you take the money, Julia?¡± My mother, who put down the knife she was cutting potatoes, sighed coldly. In the same voice as when she opposed my study abroad a few days ago. The knife placed on the table flashed brightly in the light of the candle. ¡°That¡­¡± Julia was trembling with a pitiful face. The tension flowing on the table was so vivid that I grabbed my skirt tightly. ¡°¡­¡­The dress that Mr. Longhorn sent¡­¡­.¡± My dress? ¡°After trying it on¡­¡­ That kind of world¡­¡­.¡± That kind of¡­ world? ¡°Hik, I¡¯ve been longing for it¡­¡­.¡± Julia soon burst into tears of sorrow. ¡°I¡¯m sorry¡­..I know it¡¯s not the world I can reach. I¡¯ve disappointed those who believe in me.¡­.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± I noticed at once what she was saying. I also feel the pain from admiring the world that cannot be achieved. Every moment, desperately. My mother paused, putting the tableware down, and Mrs. Kearney, who hurriedly raised her body, patted and comforted Julia¡¯s round shoulders helplessly. However, no one was still talking. Julia, who had been crying for a long time, barely continued to talk. One day when she went out to buy fish, she began to confess about seeing a group of high-class women in glamorous clothes on the street. Even if she is an immature eighteen year old, she is not young enough to not know her place. The circumstances of the noble young girls were as distant as the affairs of another world to Julia, so it must have been overlooked. But it was inevitable. However, the winter dress, which is so delicate and soft that it is close to perfection, so the red dress that Longhorn sent as an apology, was a surprising product to me, who was sick of society. So, how was it in Julia¡¯s eyes? It may have been a natural course for her to secretly covet the lives of the precious and expensive upper-class girls. ¡°So¡­ I just happened to be there¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Where is that place?¡± My mother asked in a quiet, but rather sensitive voice. ¡°It was a perfume shop¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Perfume?¡± I and Mrs. Kerney asked back at the same time. Perfume? It was a product that was known as an expensive product among high-end items. Jewels can be kept forever. The fragrant liquid that captivates people in a brilliant bottle just scatters like a sigh. ¡°The noble women in beautiful clothes¡­¡­ Seeing them go crazy for the little perfume bottle¡­¡­.¡± It¡¯s like an illusion, it¡¯s the epitome of luxury. ¡°I really wanted that¡­¡­. I couldn¡¯t eat or sleep at night.¡­.¡± ¡°That kind of¡­..¡± At Mrs. Kearney¡¯s sigh, Julia finally dropped her head. Dark wheat hair fell into a miserable light. ¡°So¡­ I took money from the cupboard and went back there¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Ha.¡± My mother sighed. Soon after, transparent drops of tears began to drop at Julia¡¯s feet. She added, gently sticking out the small bottle she was hiding behind her back. ¡°I¡¯m so sorry, Mrs. Collins¡­¡­.I bought this that day.¡± ¡°Oh my god! With all that money¡­¡­!¡± It was only natural that Mrs Kerney would sound surprised. The transparent glass bottle was delicately embossed with flowers, leaves, and fruits, making it beautiful as if it were carved from ice, but it was small enough to be held tightly in Julia¡¯s hand. My mother had a pretty calm face. ¡°What¡¯s this?¡± Maybe she¡¯s holding back her anger. Because my mother¡¯s blood pressure is not good. ¡°It¡¯s Sir Alan¡¯s perfume, ma¡¯am.¡± ¡°What?¡± This time, I asked back blankly. ¡°Sir Alan Leopold¡­¡­. He¡¯s the lover of everyone.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°That¡¯s why so many women were so enthusiastic about this perfume.¡­.¡± I had to suppress my desire to open the stopper and inhale the scent right away. Ironically, Alan in my dream has no scent yet. It was because of my mother that I suddenly became ashamed of my desire. My mother did not scold Julia. She didn¡¯t even speak in a finite voice, but she told her to tell her if she needed anything in the future. She added that Collins¡¯ income is not as small as she thinks, even though she is saving a little too much. And she also didn¡¯t forget to tell her how absurd luxury perfume is. My mother said that the only perfume she had in her life was what she received as a wedding gift. Throughout the story, Julia shed tears and nodded her head. She seemed to already know the meaning of what mother said. Maybe it was an accident. But the perfume¡¯s value didn¡¯t decrease in my eyes at all. ¡°We won¡¯t be able to get it returned¡­¡­. What should I do, ma¡¯am?¡± Mrs. Kerney scratched her temple and asked awkwardly. None of us had a hobby of using such expensive perfumes. ¡°Let¡¯s put it on the living room shelf.¡± My mother said to put it in a visible place. Although it was a little small, it was a very beautiful object, so it would be perfect for decoration. Of course, I could see straight through that it was intended to warn Julia in the future. The untimely gust of wind blowing on a rainy afternoon seemed to subside like that. It was exactly three days later that I couldn¡¯t stand it and opened its cap. Chapter 37 - Whispers of Angels Chapter 37: Whispers of Angels That day, as always, I was deeply immersed in writing my novel. Perhaps because the mid-term completion was just around the corner, there were many days when I even forgot about the time. If I sat down at my desk thinking I might write something down before going to sleep, the dawn would pass without me realizing it. ¡°Ugh¡­¡± After putting down the pen, I stretched out my stiff arms. There¡¯s really not much left to write. The end was just around the corner. However, it was unlikely that a good idea would come to mind anymore. So I thought I could sleep at this point, but the time was already closer to morning than night. Early in the morning, when even Mrs. Kerney, who starts the day first in my house, did not wake up. The whole house was engulfed in a distant silence. It was like magical silence. The strange thing was that I couldn¡¯t sleep even though I didn¡¯t sleep a wink. It wouldn¡¯t be strange if I collapsed on the bed as if I was fainting right away. To be a little honest, I think I know why. ¡­¡­No, I knew it clearly. I crept down the stairs, tiptoed like a cat in the night. The old wooden stairs creaked, but the heavy stillness quickly swallowed it without a trace. The place where I stopped as if possessed was in front of a shelf in the living room. Exactly where the perfume was placed. Waves of twilight light pouring in from the curtained window were like dewdrops on the small glass bottle. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Silence sometimes weighs on the eardrums heavier than any other roar. I reached out my hand silently. Perhaps it was because I had been awake for too long, but my fingertips trembled strangely. It was difficult for me to even understand why I was acting so secretly now. The reason why I don¡¯t want to be caught by Collins¡¯ ladies is¡­¡­. And finally, when the sharp coolness of the beautiful craftwork reached my fingertips soaked in light sweat¡ª ¡°Lady.¡± I almost shattered the perfume bottle. I can¡¯t believe I was so focused that I didn¡¯t even notice the presence of someone right next to me. ¡°Are you up already?¡± Julia asked, rubbing her sleepy eyes. ¡°¡­¡­Yes, did you just wake up?¡± ¡°I had a dream of traveling to a very hot place.¡­.I woke up because I was so thirsty.¡± The child-like answer made me smile. However, at the subsequent question, my whole body stiffened. ¡°Are you going to smell it?¡± ¡°Oh, that¡­ as you can see¡­¡­ Because I was curious.¡± ¡°Yawn, I see.¡± I acted awkward for no reason when I could say it casually. As she stretched, Julia tried to bite her mouth closed to fight her slow yawn. With a grin, I tried to put the perfume bottle in my hand back on the shelf, but Julia suddenly asked me. ¡°By the way, do you know what Alan smells like? Since you danced with him.¡± ¡°Oh, that¡¯s¡­ I don¡¯t know either.¡± ¡°You don¡¯t know?¡± Julia asked back as if she was puzzled. The dim light of a dawning morning shone on her young face. ¡°Yes. It may sound funny, but I was so nervous that day¡­¡­.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°So I didn¡¯t smell anything.¡± ¡°Aha.¡± As if a little disappointed, Julia¡¯s chubby cheeks slightly swollen. Julia¡¯s light colored eyebrows frowned and she pouted in a pointed tone. ¡°I was wondering if Sir Alan really smelled like this. I don¡¯t know if the perfume shopkeeper was lying.¡± ¡°Oh¡­¡± ¡°Isn¡¯t that right, miss? There is no way to check.¡± Julia with her arms crossed made a serious face. She added in a sleepy voice. ¡°But if this is really his scent..¡­.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I think it¡¯ll look great on him. I¡¯ve never met him in person, but if it¡¯s this scent¡­¡­Yawn.¡± Julia, who was murmuring in a daze, yawned drowsily once again. ¡°I¡¯m going in, lady. I¡¯ll have to sleep more until Mrs. Kerney comes to wake me up.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± As I nodded, she scratched her bushy golden hair and turned around. I glanced at the round back walking. When she disappeared out of light, the silence fell again. I snatched the perfume bottle as if I had been waiting. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± In the transparent jewel-like glass bottle, the glimmering color looked like off-white and a very pale green. I was holding my breath, not knowing the passage of time because I was endlessly looking at the dazzling shimmer. holding my breath. At that time, a faint sound of birds came from afar. I could see the whitish sun shining on the old hardwood floors. Sooner or later, Mrs. Kerney will come to wake everyone up. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± I carefully grabbed the small glass stopper. The sound of it being lifted up was very small and bright. It¡¯s like listening to the whispers of angels. I closed my eyes silently. Then, trembling to the point of fear and earnestly holding my heart, I inhaled the scent deep into my lungs. Shortly thereafter, a low exclamation erupted. ¡°Wow¡­¡± Clearly, I was listening to the chirping birdsong on the way to dawn, but when I smelled the scent, night came again. On a very deep, cold night, I thought of someone standing alone in a foggy rose garden. If Julia was still around, I would have said this, I think what the perfume store said is true, Julia. I couldn¡¯t even open my eyes as I inhaled this calm and sweet scent. It was cozy enough to want to make you stay still forever. It was shortly after that a hazy question rose secretly like smoke. ¡­¡­this scent, strangely familiar. Why? There¡¯s no one around me who wears this expensive perfume. Is it the scent that I always smell at Antris Coffee Shop? ¡°Oh, this is¡­.¡± Horrible, as I recalled the memories of a few days ago, I was almost certain. This fragrance came from the arms of a man wearing a mask¡­ So, the stalker¡¯s¡­ ¡°¡­¡­.¡± I opened my eyes and hurriedly put the lid on and put it back on the shelf. Then I pondered for a moment, squinting my eyebrows deeply. The first thing I thought of was right, too. Antris always smelled like this. It¡¯s not a common scent, so my feelings won¡¯t be wrong. I¡¯m sure this scent is also part of the Antris. The flower decoration on the wall¡­¡­. ¡­¡­Wait. Didn¡¯t Antris change all the flower decorations into tapestries as winter entered? Nevertheless, I smelled this scent every time. And very closely. ¡°Oh¡­¡± I felt confused. My legs lost strength and I almost fell down. The rays of light that fell on the hardwood floor were getting longer and clearer. It fluttered faintly at my feet. As if it¡¯d grab my ankle at any moment. Feeling somewhat afraid, I headed to the stairs as if I were running away. I had to get as far away from this scent as possible. ¡°Melissa?¡± As I ran up the stairs in a hurry, a voice caught me. It was Mrs Kerney. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± However, nothing came out as if I was strangled. I couldn¡¯t even look back. I just had the idea of running away from terrible thoughts. ¡°Haa¡­¡± It was not until the door was firmly closed that a sigh of relief was scattered. At the same time, I had to admit. The fact that I couldn¡¯t stop thinking of that cold, alluring scent any longer. Did it get deeply engraved on the lungs in the meantime? The airy scent, which I had not noticed even though he was always close, finally became clear. It was as if my nose was still in that glass bottle. Thinking of that man who would have wandered around me in that scent gave me goosebumps. Nevertheless, the sweet and sensual scent made me want to forget all the anxiety. Sitting with my chin on my hand in front of my desk and biting my lips, I was caught up in a strange thought. Until now, I thought it was a ridiculous hypothesis, but it was already the third suspicion. The owner of the Antris, the person who took me straight home from the snow, and the main character of this perfume. Come to think of it, the man who visited me was very tall and straight. The color of the eyes that shined in the shade, unless I saw it wrong, I¡¯m sure¡­¡­. ¡°¡­.It¡¯s too early to jump to conclusions.¡± There is no one in this kingdom who can believe that Alan Leopold is my stalker, and I am also one of them. This is such a ridiculous hypothesis. Nevertheless, my head continued to weave pieces together. Alan, in pursuing his stalking not only buys the entire coffee shop but, can¡¯t help but buy an old mansion. Beggars acting like stalkers¡¯ minions, and the reason Mr. Longhorn was terrified is also understandable considering the power of the Leopold family. Prince Bentley said he saw Alan with me. He was even mistook us as lovers, but maybe he just witnessed him narrowing his distance and followed behind me¡­¡­. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± My hands trembled. If Alan is really the stalker, it makes sense to cover his face. Just walking around the street would make people talk about it, so he has no choice but to hide his appearance. There is no point in speculating if the red long hair is a wig. ¡°Wait, his lover must be red¡­¡­.¡± Finally, I came to cover my mouth. What is the probability that these countless coincidences overlap at the same time? What if, really, he¡¯s my stalker? I wasn¡¯t even sure if I was in a normal state of thinking. I wish it was just a side effect of being awake for nearly a day.¡­. ¡°Calm down. Just do what you can for now¡­¡­.¡± It is unreasonable to fall asleep like this. I grabbed the pen, pressing down my heart that was beating as if it were going to break through my chest. I missed it twice because of my sweaty hands, but as if it were my only salvation and lifeline. While I was writing down in a hurry, I was afraid as if I were being chased, and I was ecstatic to the point of being overwhelmed. At this point, I did not know whether the reason why my heart was beating as if it was going to break was because of fear or some other emotion. I fell into such a perfect immersion that even the blink of an eye felt like a waste. I¡¯ve never felt this way before. The plot I had been longing for all the time swirled in my head and I wanted to capture it before it escaped. In the midst of a strange fantasy, where countless seasons seemed to pass quickly behind my back, I desperately held onto the pen. I¡¯ve never experienced such a bright joy in my life, the smell of perfume that may be his was lingering lightly. When I finally finished writing the middle part, Mrs. Kearney knocked on the door. ¡°Mel, breakfast¡ª¡± ¡°Mrs. Kerney.¡± I barely licked my dry lips. ¡°Please send this to the academy.¡±After saying that, I gladly sank into the huge waves of sleep. Chapter 38 - The Duty of a Teacher Chapter 38: The Duty of a Teacher The Academy, located in the capital of the Sourne Kingdom, was increasing its reputation day by day based on its long history. The cradle of the holy intellect, both in name and in reality. All the people of the kingdom knew that the outstanding talents who passed through here were supporting the kingdom today, and it will continue to do so for a long time to come. Naturally, there were a lot of big names that the academy has produced since its establishment, but if you had to pick one of the best talents of this century, it was Alan of the Leopold family. No one dared to deny this fact. It was even more surprising considering that Alan was a young boy who had not even become an adult during his school days. It must have been a huge loss for the academy that he chose to drop out and pursue business in earnest instead of graduating, but couldn¡¯t help but cheer for the members of the Leopold family, who are the pillars of the royal family. Alan Leopold, who not only showed continuous interest and affection for the academy with a large amount of donations sent every year, but was still a model for many students, and certainly the pride of the academy. Clarissa Tudor, who served as both the Dean and professor from before his (Alan¡¯s) school days until now, also deeply acknowledged this fact. Although I had a slightly different perspective of him. ¡°Sir Alan.¡± (Prof. Noh) Professor Noh¡¯s calm voice reverberated in the dean¡¯s office. ¡°It is a great honor to have you participate in the screening in person. I am truly grateful.¡± Leopold¡¯s successor sat face to face in front of him. With an impeccable elegance. ¡°But, except for sir, the nine judges completely agreed with each other. This is the principle. So please,¡± (Prof Tudor) ¡°Mrs. Tudor.¡± Clarissa stopped breathing at the gentle word. There was a time when he called her a professor. But now he was a sponsor, not a student so he was able to call her by her last name instead of her title. Mrs. Tudor. ¡°It¡¯s a shame, I don¡¯t like to say it twice.¡± Alan spoke with an accent without the slightest distraction. The tone was elegant, but it had a somewhat chill in it. ¡°Give me that manuscript.¡± ¡°¡­.that¡± ¡°You can choose the second manuscript that you have been thinking about until the very end.¡± I already knew that Alan Leopold was very good at hiding thoughts and feelings for his age. As the dean of the academy she had to read people and understand them Clarissa Tudor read a dense emotion from the person sitting opposite her. It was a clear desire. His usual arrogant figure with uninspired eyes as if there¡¯s nothing in the world that could satisfy him¡ªshe couldn¡¯t believe he¡¯s showing such a blatant attitude. It was a difficult situation to believe in easily. Clarissa¡¯s head was filled with questions. ¡®Did you call yourself a judge to take that manuscript? Could it be that noble Alan Leopold?¡¯ The reason was unknown, but no matter how great Leopold¡¯s successor is, he is a twenty years old young man. Sometimes he could be clumsy. ¡°Did you know that ¡­ I can see all the feelings out of you, Sir Alan?¡± ¡°Yes.¡± The young patron slowly pulled up his picturesque lips. The scene where the silent smile was infested with pressure gave a strange feeling. ¡°Because I didn¡¯t hide it.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± The dean felt goosebumps running down her spine. Alan whispered slowly. ¡°The Academy has been innovating in many ways lately, Mrs. Tudor.¡± That was true. The academy started repairing outdated facilities and at the same time began to expand some facilities. In addition, the scholarship system was greatly increased following the founder¡¯s desire to give more young people the opportunity to learn, and thanks to this, many students were able to knock on the door of the academy with enthusiasm for their studies. All of this was possible thanks to the full support of the Leopold family, the largest supporter. There is no doubt that it is truly something to be grateful for. The only thing that bothered her was that Alan¡¯s attitude was unfamiliarly explicit. What on earth is his intention? Clarissa gave a strangely repressed answer. ¡°¡­¡­Yes, thanks to you.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t mention it. It¡¯s my joy.¡± Alan, who was sitting upright, suddenly looked satisfied. The sculptural jaw seemed to tilt gently, but soon it was lifted slowly. ¡°The academy has a significant meaning to me.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°So I don¡¯t want to end this sponsorship.¡± Seriously. Alan smiled a little. Faced with that smile, an old memory naturally popped up in the head of the dean. The day when Alan entered the academy years ago. ¡®My son, Alan Leopold.¡¯ The boy who entered the dean¡¯s office with his father was so beautiful that she forgot her words. She even had the illusion of seeing an angel. The feeling of that day remained elusive no matter how many years passed. But his appearance now is similar to¡­¡­. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± In fact, after thinking about it, this guy¡­ Clarissa had already noticed that Alan, who only looked fair and beautiful like snow, was strangely twisted. It wasn¡¯t long after she watched him. Facing Alan¡¯s bizarreness, she felt obligated as a professor to guide her student. His great family didn¡¯t matter to her ¡®Mr. Leopold.¡¯ Sticking to her principles. It was one of the few guiding principles she held as the Dean of the academy. ¡®It would be better to throw away the idea that you can do everything in the world as you wish.¡¯ She couldn¡¯t remember what the young student¡¯s response was that day, who hadn¡¯t even lived half of his life, but it was certain that he still has the same twisted aura he had back then. However, it was now dark enough to be incomparable to before. ¡°There is no reversal of the vote, Sir Alan.¡± ¡°Is that so?¡± His cold eyes stared into the air. Clarissa spoke in a calm but solemn tone. ¡°I don¡¯t know why you¡¯re asking for that manuscript, but it clearly goes against the purpose of this novel contest.¡± ¡°Aren¡¯t you going to ask why?¡± ¡°Because hearing the reason won¡¯t change anything.¡± ¡°Whoo¡­¡± Alan let out a windy laugh, but the Dean couldn¡¯t laugh along. At first glance, he seemed to have a gentle face, but he did not hide his strangely overbearing gaze. ¡°If you¡¯re trying to point out that Melissa Collins¡¯ work is reminiscent of a classic novel¡­¡­.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°The appearance of characters with the same name and the flow of some kind of Fugitive play is similar, but it is not unreasonable to judge that it is an expression of respect for masterpieces.¡± (T/N: the Dean means by using the characters of a famous play¡ªhere the novel Fugitive¡ª can be seen as a respect to the masterpiece, to use characters from a masterpiece novel in your own novel is like showing your respect to the masterpiece novel) ¡°I had no intention of telling such a lame thing, Mrs. Tudor.¡± Alan shrugged his outstretched shoulders a little, and buried his body deep in his backrest with a languid expression on his face. ¡°I was just deeply impressed by her writing.¡± ¡°¡­¡­It is a good novel. Objectively.¡± ¡°Isn¡¯t that the same for the second novel?¡± His silent eyes lit up again. ¡°If you give me her novel, I¡¯ll bet the name of my family and be responsible for supporting her beyond what the royal family can do. Eventually, the two people* will be born, but I don¡¯t know what the problem is. Wasn¡¯t it a great purpose of promoting the culture of the kingdom?¡± (* He means two great authors could be born and get support) Clarissa gasped and managed to answer. ¡°Would Miss Collins want that, Sir Alan? Do you think she sent her novel to the academy only hoping for an enormous support?¡± ¡°¡­..I¡¯m sure she would want it.¡± The dean continued without hearing Alan¡¯s murmur. ¡°Even if all she wanted was the prize money and large amount of subsidies, there was no such thing as giving options to the winning work. It¡¯s written to the Academy, and it belongs to the Academy.¡± ¡°Oh, is that so?¡± Clarissa, who was watching the young sponsor cross his legs slowly, added in a rather shaky voice. ¡°Even if we receive donations from your parents this year¡­¡­ There will be no change in this decision, Sir Alan.¡± Then cold eyes stared straight at his teacher of the past. The dean held her breath. It was also at that moment that she finally remembered what kind of answer her promising disciple in the distant past had given her. ¡®What¡¯s wrong with doing whatever I want? I don¡¯t know why it¡¯s wrong to want to do whatever I want.¡¯ Alan of that day also had the same beautiful smile like the man in front of her. ¡®If the intention is not bad, there will be no problem, Professor.¡¯ His face, which is so beautiful and strangely eerie, seemed to be the same as it had been a few years ago. Clarissa closed her eyes in embarrassment. After a brief moment of silence, an unexpected answer entered my ears. ¡°I understand, ma¡¯am.¡± Her wrinkled face, which felt like the years had passed, shone in surprise. ¡°Uh, err, could you say that again. What I¡¯m saying¡­.¡± ¡°And I can¡¯t believe you¡¯re asking for donations. I¡¯ve told you over and over again what the academy means to me.¡± Alan stood up in an attitude that seemed to have no suitable words other than that he was supremely gentle. While tightening the lapel that covered his wide upper body. ¡°Your attitude has not changed at all compared to when you were in the academy.¡± (Dean) Alan Leopold, who left the field of learning and flew into society, was certainly more mature than the image she had in her memory. It is no longer unreasonable to assume that this man will soon become a businessman who will rule the kingdom. ¡°That stubbornness is what makes the academy an academy.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Clarissa sincerely thought so. ¡°I know what you mean, so I¡¯ll get up now.¡± ¡°Sir Alan. What happened today¡­¡­.¡± Professor Tudor abruptly stood up after him. The hem of her neat gray dress poured down with a sound. ¡°The carriage is right in the front, so you don¡¯t have to come out.¡± ¡°Oh, then¡ª¡± ¡°Of course.¡± Respectfully, polite Allen turned and left with elegant steps. While leaving the dean¡¯s office, he never looked back, but Clarissa couldn¡¯t take her eyes off until he completely disappeared. Alan Leopold was the disciple that Professor Tudor was most concerned about in a sense. That¡¯s why she had been concerned about him even after he left the academy. If by any chance he causes a scandal in society with his excessive perfectionism and natural power¡­¡­. As a teacher who taught him for a while, she might suffer from guilt all her life. And it wasn¡¯t until today that she felt as if some of the burden she had been carrying as her dean had been lifted. It seemed the same as then, but it was because of Alan, who was clearly different. ¡°Leopold, you may have learned more in society than here.¡± Clarissa smiled quietly with benevolent eyes. ¡°Whoa, I¡¯m ashamed of myself as dean.¡± The woman¡¯s quiet whisper was scattered in the empty dean¡¯s room. But she didn¡¯t even notice. The moment when Alan Leopold¡¯s eyes turned into a stylized light as he stepped out the door. Contrary to what she thought, this young patrons knew how to perfectly hide his anger. Chapter 39 - I’m Waiting Chapter 39: I¡¯m Waiting Mrs. Kerney came to me when the world was covered with a brilliant morning, and as soon as I handed her the manuscript, I fell into a world of peaceful sleep. That¡¯s how I¡¯ve been sleeping all day. As if the god who breathed his breath into shaping a person took it away for a while. Until he finally gave me his breath again, I was helplessly locked in somewhere far, far away from even a dream. It was not until the next evening that I woke up and managed to join, but the dinner tasted hazy. Throughout the meal, my mother complained, saying that she was about to go to wake me up immediately if one more day had passed. It was a surprisingly gentle treatment. For letting your daughter sleep and stay awake at random times while she struggled with writing the novel that you disapproved of. It has been less than three months since I hung on to my novel, forgetting my meal, sleep, and sometimes even the date. Nevertheless, I¡¯ve been devastated ever since I sent the manuscript to the academy. Like a lost child. What did I do before writing? Was it a life of reading and pondering on my favorite book many times, transcribing verses that I liked, playing the piano, or going downtown to browse bookstores, or drinking coffee? ¡­¡­ it suddenly feels rather trivial. Of course, I hadn¡¯t abandoned my routine of meeting my only best friend Viola. Going home and talking all night. I¡¯ve spent quite a lot of time with Tobias in recent months. I can¡¯t say it¡¯s special, but it¡¯s fun. But now both of them are far away, so this moment feels more empty. ¡°I really enjoyed the meal.¡± ¡°Are you going to get up already?¡± Madame Kerney widened her eyes. The light of a soft candle fluttered in pale colors on the bridge of her nose. ¡°I slept too long, so my taste buds¡­¡­.¡± I raised myself with a smile. Sooner or later, my mother will go to bed early, Madame Kerney and Julia will not be idle, as the housework is inherently endless. In fact, I don¡¯t feel like talking to someone right now. There is no one in the house who can listen to me and share my worries due to an unnamed anxiety. I know they¡¯re good people, but¡­¡­. ¡°I¡¯m lonely.¡± I left through the door, muttering lonelily. I¡¯m not trying to go somewhere, but I think if I drink the night air, the feeling of depression will go away a little. It was quite dark outside. Even though it is March, the smell of winter is deeply ingrained in the wind that touches my hair. ¡°¡­I can still breathe.¡± Spring was still far away. I gently opened the shawl wrapped over my shoulders. The stars were looking down at me. If I look closely, I¡¯ve never been so deeply passionate about something before, even if I were to look back on my previous life of 20 additional years. The act of reading gave me pleasure, but the act of writing a story using my sentences was a dream itself. That¡¯s why my heart feels empty. If the academy doesn¡¯t pick my novel, I won¡¯t be able to write until I get married as promised with my mother. The harsh words my mother said that evening still stabbed my heart like thorns. It¡¯s even more painful because I don¡¯t know how slim the chances of my novel getting selected are. I can¡¯t expect much because I¡¯ll be judged by those with academy majors or unnamed writers who have written all their lives. I can¡¯t deny the fact that it may all be for naught, causing a futile dream. Anxiety always feeds on worry. The only object that will never leave me, which is made up of feelings of loneliness, will be this deep anxiety that wanders under my feet. It is like a shadow. That¡¯s why we are often trapped in anxiety at night like this. ¡°Haa¡­¡± Even if I try to comfort myself by arguing that how many people live a life of conviction, I quickly become helpless. What does it feel like to just walk on a firm path? Moreover, if you have the talent and generous background that perfectly fits the path. I wonder if such a person really exists, but I soon accept it. I even know his scent. Suddenly, when I looked up, I saw a faint light in the distance. It was the light coming from the window of the house across the street. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± That man is not my neighbor. He¡¯s just a crazy stalker. But is he really, Alan Leopold? ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡­¡­I may be out of my mind thinking like this. Mrs. Kerney said that the house seems to be still empty, but did he just move in today? If he came in already, why is he revealing his existence now when I¡¯m watching¡­. Maybe it¡¯s just a coincidence, but I couldn¡¯t help but feel that the light was beckoning and he was waiting. That doesn¡¯t mean I have the courage to knock on the door of that house to make a deal with him or to make sure that the stalker is really Alan Leopold. I shook my head with my eyes closed. I am well aware that my method of covering up and looking at problems that cannot be solved is bad. But it¡¯s too terrifying to face him anyway. It¡¯s like a nightmare that has no sense of reality and you just want to ignore it. The only way to overcome the situation without making the people around me tremble in fear is to go to Lunoa, but¡­¡­ I have to think of a feasible direction. However, I should never relax. Even if I don¡¯t believe he¡¯ll harm me immediately, the stalker is far away from my common sense. He even bought a mansion across from my house, which may signal that he will gradually narrow the distance. What is at the end of his plan? I feel like I¡¯m suffocated. Sadly, I can¡¯t escape to the Principality of Lunoa on my own. Then¡­ How about visiting my relatives? Although I have few relatives, maybe my aunt, who lives far from the capital, may accept a visit from me. Her situation is better than ours, and maybe her quiet rural life is lonely, so I can be a welcomed companion. ¡°Then my mom¡­¡­.¡± My mother will probably feel lonely, even if she doesn¡¯t show it. It will be after next year at the earliest for my father, who is in the military, to return to the capital.¡­. There is no way I can get permission in fact. A quiet rural life would be good to write my novel, but in the eyes of my mother, it would only mean that I would give up on my marriage. It¡¯s a place where there are no young men. Also, it¡¯s too far from social circles to give excuses that I am looking for a marriage partner. What about waiting for Tobias to come back? If he hadn¡¯t changed his mind, he could promise to get married and go to New Ditch together. That¡¯s a great way to get out of the shadow of that terrible stalker. Toby will support my dream affectionately, so if I become Mrs. Miller, I may be able to write freely. However, for this reason, I can¡¯t help but feel a little uncomfortable and stuffy about whether I can marry him. ¡°¡­ It¡¯s cold.¡± Was it too long? Suddenly, my body trembled. It¡¯s been a long time since my fingertips became as cold as ice. I didn¡¯t feel much better, but I turned around to get inside. I don¡¯t want to catch a bad cold. It was that time. The cheerful sound of the carriage, which I thought would pass by the house, stopped suddenly. ¡°Melissa!¡± What followed was the voice I had dreamed of. ¡°¡­¡­.Viola!¡± As she ran with all her strength, I hugged her tightly. The small body gave me a warm feeling. ¡°The carriage sound was you! Why did you come here by carriage?¡± ¡°I have some luggage. These are from Piccom¡¯s land.¡­.¡± Simultaneously with those words, a blunt horseman moved a thick bag at the door and returned to the carriage. Only then did I look straight at my best friend¡¯s face. A cute smile was shining even in the dark night air. I was more fortunate than anything else because she looked bright. ¡°When did you come to the capital? What about your husband?¡± ¡°This afternoon. It¡¯s my dad¡¯s birthday. Jacob came alone because he had something to do.¡± ¡°Ah¡­¡± ¡°I came here after dinner on purpose. Is it too late?¡± ¡°No.¡± Once again, I hugged Viola tightly. ¡°Welcome.¡± ¡°I can¡¯t breathe, Mel! You missed me a lot.¡± ¡°Yes. I have so much to say.¡­.¡± I buried my head on the back of her soft neck with a whining voice without realizing it. ¡°It¡¯s okay, it¡¯s okay. I¡¯m going to sleep here tonight. Let¡¯s go in.¡± Viola comforted me maturely and led me to the doorstep. She must have brought a bunch of stories that I, too, needed to hear. With our arms crossed and our bodies pressed against each other, we turned around, leaving the mansion at a distance where a faint light leaked out. * * * There was a knock in the quiet office where there was no sign of movement. ¡°Young master.¡± The man who approached the owner of the office and gave his greetings was neither the aide or subordinate, but a servant of the family. ¡°This¡­¡± His trembling hand held out a pile of papers. On the very front page, in elegant brush strokes, was written: ¡°As you instructed, I commissioned an academy official to transcribe it.¡± ¡°Okay.¡± Alan, who stopped his busy signing hand, accepted it. A bright smile suddenly appeared on his emotionless face. It was so rare that it inspired servants. Alan recruited one of the judges of the academy in advance. It was as simple as breathing. After that, he disguised a servant as a student and made him receive the completed manuscript, but the excited servant was already walking on the clouds. ¡°By the way, master, are you going to the mansion tonight? There are no servants in the new place yet, if you are uncomfortable ¡­.¡± Did he think he had built a special bond because he performed personal and a secret task? Delusion was free, but it was a very annoying class. ¡°No, it¡¯s enough.¡± Alan decided to answer him gently even by looking at the things he brought. ¡°I¡¯m going to leave soon.¡± ¡°But this servant is anxious to please the one who¡¯s leaving soon¡± But as the servant continued to speak with an even more remorseful expression on his face, the smile disappeared from Alan¡¯s lips. It¡¯s because he¡¯s so slow-witted. ¡°You¡¯re not different from usual, but you¡¯ve finished all the preparations¡ª¡± ¡°Don¡¯t cross the line.¡± At that cold tone, the servant flinched and stopped talking. Realizing belatedly that he (servant) was careless, his head bowed in dismay. The only son of the Head was a cold-blooded person who never said a word of kindness to the servants. He didn¡¯t know that maybe he would punish him for getting on his nerves. When the servant began to tremble, there was a sound of wind-like laughter. The servant carefully raised his head, doubting his ears. Surprisingly, his master¡¯s lips were again smoothly curved. Obviously, it was a relief, but he couldn¡¯t estimate at all what made him laugh again. ¡°If you want, it would be good to meet and travel together.¡± ¡°¡­¡­..What?¡± Alan, who touched his chin slowly, muttered. ¡°I¡¯m waiting.¡± Chapter 40 - The Night that Covers the Waiting and Sleeps Chapter 40: The Night that Covers the Waiting and Sleeps ¡°I wish time would stop like this.¡± ¡°I know¡­¡± We lied down holding hands tightly and talked without realizing the passage of time. When I was talking, Viola held my hand tight, and when she was talking, I sometimes squeezed it too, but we never let go. Strength entered my hand holding her hand, for example, when Viola lived in Piccom and told me that she wanted to return to the capital, and there were many days when she couldn¡¯t stand it. ¡°Marty is really nice. Just like an angel.¡± It was time to talk about Jacob and Anne¡¯s son, Marty. ¡°You have no idea how amazing he is, Melissa. I¡¯m really surprised every time I see him. He¡¯s not even my child, but I have a feeling that I and that child are connected by fate. Have you ever felt this way, Mel?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°No? Because there are no children around you. Of course, I¡¯ve never experienced anything like this before, but the only thing I can say is that I¡¯m amazed¡­¡­. Sometimes I¡¯m touched just by Marty¡¯s existence. There are times when I cry just looking at him smile.¡± Viola sometimes sniffled as if it was emotional just to think of the child, and I, holding her hand, was also moved a little. I don¡¯t have a hobby of pouring cold water on a beautiful story, but I thought I had to say something. Especially since she was my one and only best friend¡ª Viola. ¡°Are you sure he¡¯s Jacob¡¯s child, Viola? I heard that the child looked completely like that woman named Anne.¡± ¡°Marty¡­¡­¡± ¡°Every time I see him, I see my husband¡¯s ex-lover¡­¡­¡­ Isn¡¯t it terrible to think of a shameless woman who disappeared after leaving the child who may be someone else¡¯s child?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Viola. I don¡¯t like that you¡¯re just accepting this situation or ignoring it.¡­.¡± Did I push her too hard? Viola was silent for a moment. She didn¡¯t let go of my hand, but tossed and turned her body a little and lied down straight. ¡°Melissa.¡± As I, too, turned and faced the ceiling, I heard Viola¡¯s voice over the rustling of the blankets. ¡°I¡¯m not giving up and accepting it helplessly. The feeling of blaming Jacob has long since disappeared. I¡¯m serious.¡± ¡°But that kid¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Even if Marty isn¡¯t Jacob¡¯s son, I don¡¯t think I could have loved Jacob this much if he was a man who turned a blind eye to a child who was sent to him without other options to rely on.¡± The words somehow made my heart ache. It was upsetting not to complain once that she was in a situation where she had to take care of a strange child as soon as she got married at the age of only twenty and was only saying beautiful things rather than getting angry. ¡°¡­¡­I¡¯m rather grateful to him that he had decided to take care of Marty.¡± But at her next words, I was speechless. ¡°You don¡¯t even know how difficult it must be to live in a foreign country, unfamiliar to me, who has lived in the capital all my life, right? Even though I love Jacob sincerely¡­¡­ There are many times when I suddenly feel like I have lost my whole life.¡± ¡°Viola¡­¡± ¡°Whenever I feel that, Marty saves me.¡± It was a complicated feeling. To be honest, I didn¡¯t understand it well. I¡¯m not saying Viola is wrong, it¡¯s that I would never be like that. But at the same time, there was a feeling of respect for Viola. In the meantime, there have been countless times when I envied Viola who was born with bright energy and confidence that I couldn¡¯t have no matter how hard I tried, but it was the first time I felt this way. I thought the reason she changed was because she got married, but that¡¯s not the only reason. Compared to a few months ago, Viola has become a wiser, deeper person¡ªso much so, it was enough to believe that she was a different person. It¡¯s not that she was a shallow person before, or that just because she¡¯s different doesn¡¯t mean our relationship will change¡­.. ¡°¡­¡­It was very difficult.¡± I cried for no reason. The nights of her troubles and sorrows she had to pass through until she could speak calmly like this seemed to flow into me through the hands she held. There must have been nothing that wasn¡¯t harsh after her marriage. ¡°Nothing is fixed in life, Viola.¡± ¡°Yes.¡± ¡°So I don¡¯t think there is an answer. We may still be young to talk about this, but¡­¡­.¡± Me and Viola were hugging tightly and comforting each other. ¡°No matter what situation you¡¯re in, make sure you make a choice that makes you happy. Don¡¯t worry about anything else¡­¡­. I believe that will be the closest to the answer.¡± Viola let out a small sniffle. ¡°I love you so much, Melissa.¡± ¡°Me, too. Viola.¡± We cared about each other just like when we were girls. There is nothing in the world that doesn¡¯t change, but my sincerity for Viola¡¯s happiness didn¡¯t seem to change. It was a fairy tale-like night. Viola, exhausted from coming a long way from Piccom and shedding tears, was now breathing evenly as if to listen to my story. I didn¡¯t want to turn this warm air into anxiety. I talked about months of immersion in writing, like a person born for novels, safely submitting it to the academy, and making a promise to my mother. Viola was both curious and resentful, while listening to my story seriously. As the most enthusiastic supporter of my dreams, she protested about my mother¡¯s position on my writing. In addition, life as a married woman, living as a female writer in the kingdom, and going to the kingdom of Lunoa, there were many stories about the same topic. It was a natural step for the topic of conversation to shift to Tobias Miller. Viola said confidently that my future would be happy after marrying him. She had never even met him, but she was already convinced when I told her about his consideration, kindness, and his appreciation of my dream. Moreover, I also noted the fact that Toby was selected as Leopold¡¯s scholarship student and left for Lunoa. ¡°If you get married anyway, you have to leave home. It would be great for you if you could settle in Lunoa.¡± So, although Toby might be staying in the Principality for a few years, it¡¯s a different story about whether or not this opportunity had given him a clear foundation to establish himself there. It felt like we hadn¡¯t seen each other for a long time. I can¡¯t believe I forgot that Viola is an ardent devotee of love. I answered in a dead voice. ¡°He might change his mind. I don¡¯t know when he¡¯ll come back to Sourne¡­¡­. What if Toby changes his mind¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Mel.¡± Viola, who squirmed in my arms, was as small as a young animal, but her voice was quite solemn. ¡°Let¡¯s not miss the precious present by worrying about things that never happened. That is stupid.¡± ¡°You¡¯re right. I don¡¯t know why I¡¯m so silly.¡± ¡°I¡¯m not saying you¡¯re silly.¡­. You just think too much.¡± Strength suddenly entered Viola¡¯s hand that grabbed my hand. ¡°I like you who is immersed in thoughts, but I want your happiness more than anything else.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± I advised her to make a choice that would make her happy every moment, and she told me not to get caught up in worrying too much. Because that¡¯s the way to be happy. This was advice that was possible because we knew and valued each other well. As soon as I answered yes with an overwhelming heart, Viola began to let out a quiet breathing sound as if she was going to sleep at any moment. She seems to be at peace now. This is why I couldn¡¯t talk about the stalker. How could I tell her that he came to the house, when I was alone, or that he bought the house across the street? It was partly because I couldn¡¯t remember how far we had been talking about the stalker, but most of all, I didn¡¯t want Viola to continue to dwell on my worries after returning to Piccom. ¡°¡­¡­It means that the stalker is losing interest in me, he is less and less revealing his existence. I haven¡¯t even seen him recently.¡± ¡°Really?¡± There is still no proper solution, but this is my problem. I can¡¯t put a burden on her in the name of a friend, who is struggling to adapt to a new life. Viola let out a response that was close to a mumble with a slow yawn. ¡°You did a great job, Mel¡­¡­. Now, everything¡­¡­ It¡¯ll be okay.¡± I whispered low to the viola who fell asleep with the words. Yeah, I hope so, too. I had no idea it would be all for naught. * * * It was a sunny day. After lunch, I suddenly thought I wanted to go out. It¡¯s been a very long time. As always, there were no special plans. I just wanted to walk as I wanted. When I reached the heart of the city while walking, I wanted to go straight to the bookstore and be buried in the smell of books. I wanted to read a new novel and forget the time. Although my pocket money has decreased recently, I have saved up a lot of money in my own way thanks to not having to spend for a while. So, if I was lucky enough to find a book I liked, I wanted to buy it and hold it in my arms and go to Antris. I never said it out loud, but I actually missed everything about Antris. The orderly commotion there, the gentle piano playing, a cup of carefully brewed coffee, and the polite response of the server. ¡°Do you want me to put it in? Miss?¡± It was purely because of my picky taste that I was able to choose only one book, even after wandering around the old bookshelves of the bookstore for a long time. Obviously, even if I had enough money to buy two or three books of poetry. ¡°No, I¡¯ll just carry it with me.¡± I smiled lightly and accepted the book that was given to me. When I left the bookstore, the sun was already setting. Being taken away by the brilliant sunset that seemed to be like melted gold, I walked blankly, raising my head toward the sky. I can¡¯t believe it¡¯s already this late. If I stop by Antris, I won¡¯t be able to reach on time for dinner, so what should I do? Then, I bumped into someone without seeing that someone was approaching me. ¡°Ah¡­..!¡± The novel, which was held in his arms, plunged over the cold stone road with a fluttering sound. The title, gilded over the dark brown leather cover, glistened in the vivid sunset light. I was so startled that I bowed my head. All I thought was to hurry and pick up the book, bow, and leave. But a long hand wearing black gloves grabbed it before I could. My gaze slowly followed it, thinking that the slowly lifting hand was beautiful. And soon I held my breath. He smiled like a painting with his fluttering red hair. ¡°Hello.¡± Chapter 41 - Hello Chapter 41: Hello ¡°Hello.¡± It wasn¡¯t even a very cold day, but my lips trembled helplessly. ¡°You¡­¡± In the wind, it was impossible to say anything more. I felt that I was not in the condition to even speak properly. Nevertheless, this situation¡­¡­ It was totally incomprehensible. Wearing a black bowler hat and a coat of the same color was similar to the day he came to my house. But he wasn¡¯t wearing a mask, and this time he had long red hair. The long hair, which was obvious to be a wig, was partially cast over his face, so he was not immediately recognized at first. Of course, it is also because he is quite tall. I took a big step back, trembling with fear. And when I finally saw the stalker at a glance, I blamed my eyes. His voice and body. Flawless and pale skin like wax, and two eyes resembling the dawn sky. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Even today, I could smell his scent clearly. The same as the small, brilliant bottle on the living room shelf¡­¡­. The scent of the misty rose garden trapped in it was clear. Watching my face turn into astonishment, he moved his lips again. ¡°I thought I should come back in this form.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± I couldn¡¯t answer or run away. I was only standing there with a bewildered look on my face. I didn¡¯t know that the moment when I would be sure of his true identity would come like this. My heart was beating so painfully that it would destroy my entire chest, and I was silently enduring the pain. This certainly wasn¡¯t the first time I felt it. ¡°It is the night that covers the waiting and sleeps.¡± The man, who looked down at the cover with a cool gaze, said with a deep low voice. At that moment, a gust of wind blew, revealing his straight face, which had been covered with his hair. For an instant, I was engulfed in very fearful and absurd thoughts. Even if I had to lose all my dreams, if I could just reverently kiss those eyelids¡­¡­. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡­¡­I¡¯d rather lose my mind like this. I bit my lips and tried to chase away my thoughts. Then he smiled strangely. ¡°Why is your face like that?¡± The red hair that fell gently over the snow-white nose bridge, looked erotic. ¡°Didn¡¯t you know everything?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± At the moment when I was unable to answer anything as if my heart was crushed, many thoughts passed by me. For example, it may be a crazy idea, but I suspect that this man is really Alan Leopold. There is no way there are two men in the kingdom who look like this. But this person was definitely different from Alan I¡¯ve observed so far. It¡¯s not just because of the simple reason that the impression looks different because of the red hair. There was no way Alan would use such a friendly tone to me, such an unprofessional one. I knew Alan Leopold was a cold person with no gaps since I watched him over my shoulders a long time ago. I realized that no matter what, even during the evening when I met with him, and when we danced together at night¡­.¡­¡­. When I raised my head with that thought, I saw the cover of the book he had held out toward me. My trembling eyes met his cool eyes looking right at me. A gaze so intense that made me hold my breath. An unknown desire was read from those eyes in the red glow of the sunset.¡­. The moment I secretly shrugged my shoulders, his lips drew a graceful arc. It felt like my heart was melting without end. There was a mixture of ecstasy and questions, and my head was all confused. Could this man really be Alan Leopold? At that time, a man who turned his eyes somewhere kicked his tongue lightly. ¡°¡­ I have to go.¡± Then, forgetting to receive the book, he slipped it into my frozen arms. ¡°Here, take it.¡± Seeing me pause with surprised eyes, he smiled slightly. A small, soft sound, whether it was laughter or the sound of the wind, brushed my ears, causing me to get goosebumps. Soon after he took off his black bowler hat, he politely showed courtesy. As if we were about to part ways for a very long time. His straight legs were slightly bent, and his long, shiny red hair fluttered down. It was a very reverent greeting that felt enthusiastic. To the point where I automatically think that he is the knight who serves me, and that I am his one and only love¡­¡­. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± I also suddenly greeted him with courtesy. As if the two of us had just finished dancing. When I grabbed my old winter dress, my fingertips were naturally tense. Even in the midst of this, I couldn¡¯t stop following his elegant figure, which was close to perfection, with eager eyes. At that very moment, the questions that filled my mind were quickly washed away. ¡°Er,¡± It was an impulse to call the name. ¡°Sir Alan¡­¡± As he was about to turn his body and leave the seat, he looked back at me for a moment. When the two eyes were intertwined again, I didn¡¯t avoid his eyes. I just looked at him with a face that seemed to burst into tears at any moment. I sincerely wanted to cry. His face was dyed in the golden sunset looking so distant and noble¡­¡­. When our eyes met, it was bizarre as if time had stopped. The moment came to an end as he turned around and disappeared toward the alley. While standing opposite thay man, I wondered if it was only the two of us on the streets of Florin, but only after he disappeared I realized that I had been mistaken. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± I felt dreamy as if I woke up from a daydream. I shook my head and hugged the book in my arms, walking and weaving through the crowds to get home. All the way home, breathing in the evening air that smelled of sunset, I couldn¡¯t feel my feet. I felt like I was floating in the air and flowing with the wind. I told myself it was all a dream, meeting the stalker with the face of Alan Leopold and I almost believed it. At the end of that obscure road, when I faced a two-story house built with red bricks. I finally returned to reality when my eyes met my mother, who was looking out the window with a blank face. * * * ¡°Is there really only one successor to Ian Leopold?¡± My mother¡¯s hand, who was eating cottage pie, stopped when I asked a random question. Mrs. Kerney opened her big eyes even wider, examining my intentions. The two ladies of Collins felt that I had been so engrossed in writing the novel that I had not yet fully returned to reality. Well, maybe it¡¯s not wrong. My mother asked, ¡°Why are you asking that all of a sudden, instead of eating?¡± The eyes of the two even showed an indescribable pity. The probability that the academy will select my novel is infinitely close to zero, and I¡¯m destined to not be able to write until I get married. Whatever the reason, it must be bitter to be in the position of an adult who cannot support the dream of her one and only daughter. ¡°I wonder if he has only one child. I heard that he had three wives.¡­.¡± After finishing my speech, when I drank the soup with a strange face as much as possible, the two ladies soon resumed eating. My mother opened her mouth. ¡°You¡¯re not going to write a novel about a businessman, are you Melissa?¡± ¡°No! I¡¯m just suddenly curious. I wonder if you¡¯ve ever heard rumors or something.¡­.¡± ¡°Rumors?¡± ¡°Sir Alan actually has a twin brother or something like that¡­..¡± Then Mrs. Kearney burst into laughter. ¡°You¡¯re young, Melissa.¡± ¡°What?¡± ¡°It will be difficult to form a relationship with that great heir, so you want to find someone who resembles you, right?¡± At that, my mother added in a low voice. ¡°If that¡¯s the case, you can.¡± ¡°No, it¡¯s not like that¡­¡­.¡± I was somewhat embarrassed and blushed. For no reason, the inside of my neck tickled. ¡°I saw a person who looked like him in the city today. They look so alike that I believe they are twins¡­¡­.¡± Mrs. Kerney, who was scraping the mashed potatoes from the plate, said in a loud voice. ¡°Oh my, that¡¯s probably something only you thought! If there was someone like that, there would be rumors in the capital!¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Sir Alan probably stays at home most of the time, right? You must be tired because people are watching wherever you go.¡± As I listened to her words, I think I know the purpose of that red wig. A kind of disguise to be free from people¡¯s eyes? The reason why he let his hair pour down naturally without brushing it back is to make his face invisible. Moreover, it is rare in the Sourne Kingdom to have such a hair colour. Therefore, someone would probably think that Alan is a unique gentleman from abroad. Unless you stopped him and took a close look at him. It is true that it is hard to even doubt that Leopold¡¯s successor will make such a journey in the first place. But what was the feeling of familiarity with me? And the unfamiliar atmosphere¡­¡­. It never looked like Alan Leopold. ¡°Come to think of it, I heard something from your father about a decade ago.¡± At that time, my mother suddenly spoke out and my thoughts were scattered like smoke. My mother continued with an indifferent face. ¡°A fellow who served in the military with Leopold when he was young¡­¡­ He talked about his history with women.¡± (T/N: like who he slept with) ¡°¡­history of women ¡°I heard that he often hung out with women on the street, and among them there was a woman with Leopold¡¯s child or something.¡± His mother, who was frowning and looking back on her dim memories, added as if she didn¡¯t know anymore. ¡°It¡¯s common for celebrities to be disparaged at will. At that time, Leopold was already a family recognized by the royal family.¡± (T/N: she¡¯s says it is probably a false rumor/slander) ¡°That¡¯s right, ma¡¯am. If that¡¯s true, how could you not have been caught?¡± Mrs. Kerney agreed. ¡°Citizens are not fools, and there are only a few people who work for him. There can be no such thing as an eternal secret!¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°As long as that great Mr. Leopold didn¡¯t sinfully throw who knew the truth into the river. Then the truth lies at the bottom of the river¡­¡­¡­.¡± (T/N: as long as he didn¡¯t kill the woman and throw her into a river) When the tableware was laid down in a creepy joke, Mrs. Kearney muttered awkwardly, putting the cottage pie on the plate. ¡°Isn¡¯t it something to say during dinner time? Ho ho¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± In my head, I was just in a mess with a series of thoughts. All kinds of hypotheses and possibilities are colliding with power, and there was no way I could eat cottage pie or something. ¡°Thank you for the food.¡± ¡°Hey, Melissa! I mean, I was just joking¡­¡­!¡± Let her rest, leaving my mother¡¯s voice behind, I came straight up to my room. Throwing myself into the bed, I lay down and said to myself. ¡°Alan Leopold, my stalker?¡± Even thinking about it again, today was a day with no sense of reality at all. My head is full of clutter and it is impossible to think properly. Maybe I really am still in the novel. It might take some time to get back to reality¡­¡­. ¡°Haaa¡­¡± I closed my eyes with a slow sigh, and soon fell asleep. The very next day, shocking news flew in. Chapter 42 - It’s An Unbearable Evening Because I Miss You Chapter 42: It¡¯s An Unbearable Evening Because I Miss You I spent a long, long day reading a book and relaxing. It was the book that the beautiful, suspicious man with red hair had picked up. The reason for choosing this novel from countless piles of books at bookstores was simple. On the cover, a picture of the moon and stars twinkling in golden light caught my attention, and seeing the lyrical title, I thought it would be good to read a little every night before going to sleep. However, the existence of a new book I bought after a long time was an unbearable thrill, and I sat down at my desk, unable to wait for the night to come. ¡°¡­¡­?¡± However, there was no way to hide shock due the flow that completely deviated from expectations that it would be lyrical. I put my finger on the page I was reading and closed the book to check the cover. Maybe¡­ Maybe there was a mistake in the binding? I thought for a moment whether it would be better to go to the bookstore right away and exchange this book. And I shook my head, surprised by my own narrow-minded thinking. The title of the novel does not necessarily have to be as intuitive as in the case of . It may be a very ironic expression, and titles that seem to have nothing to do with the content are quite common. I¡¯m disappointed right away just because it¡¯s not the development I wanted, isn¡¯t it a shameful attitude to be a writer¡­. Let¡¯s read a little more. That was my conclusion. At least it would be right to read it to the end and then judge. Because the message that comes from the novel may appear at the end of the book. It was only when the page turned over half way through that I realized that the binding wasn¡¯t wrong. ¡°How can you..¡­. Poor you¡­.¡± I was so immersed in the story that I was wiping away tears with my sleeve. I used to think that life is more like a novel than an actual novel. Indeed, I was reading a novel that resembled life more than actual life. Only intermittent sniffles and turning of pages like the soft sound of butterflies¡¯ wings fluttering filled the silence in the room. ¡°Lady!¡± At that time, there was a knocking sound on the door and Julia¡¯s voice, which was twice as cheerful as that. It was still too early to be dinner time. There was no smell of food coming from the kitchen, the bed linens had already been changed earlier in the week¡­..¡­. ¡°Are you crying?¡± Julia, who opened the door before I could answer, looked surprised. I just licked my lips with a face that was messed up with tears. ¡°Oh, that¡¯s¡­.¡± ¡°I guess you were reading a sad book.¡± said Julia, who glanced at the book on the desk. ¡°If you happen to burst into tears again, I hope it¡¯s tears of joy rather than sadness..¡­.¡± ¡°What are you talking about?¡± When I expressed doubts about her mysterious words, Julia asked back without loosening her hands. [her tight hands mean she is nervous] ¡°Will the Royal Academy send letters to all applicants, miss? Even if you fail.¡± ¡°Academy? No way..¡­.¡± ¡°Oh, that¡¯s right!¡± Julia pulled out the envelope she had been hiding behind her back and added. ¡°The academy sent you a letter.¡± ¡°Ah¡­!¡± She couldn¡¯t stand it without delivering it right away, so she suddenly pushed the door in. I accepted the letter with tension. The seal clearly engraved on the bright red wax must have belonged to the Academy. Julia was looking at the contents of it as if she was very curious, but I didn¡¯t want to open the letter now. I¡¯ve never heard of them replying to all contestants individually or only to the winners. But considering that they wrote my name clearly¡­¡­ It was certain that it was the former. Perhaps it is not just a notification of failure, but a professional review or advice for improvement. So it would be foolish to throw it away without checking it However, even if there was golden advice in here, I didn¡¯t want to push myself into the pit of despair by facing the news of elimination with such a sad feeling. I don¡¯t have such a great hobby. ¡°Sorry, Julia. I want to open it a little later.¡± ¡°Oh, that¡¯s right¡­¡­. Now you¡¯re focused on reading the novel.¡± Julia smiled with an awkward face, even though she didn¡¯t want to rush me as I already had a sniffling nose. ¡°Yeah, I want to read it until evening. And¡­There¡¯s no way this could contain what I¡¯m hoping for/ you¡¯re looking for. So don¡¯t expect anything, Julia. please.¡± ¡°¡­¡­Ah.¡± ¡°If the expectations are high, the disappointment is also great.¡­.¡± My mouth was bitter while I was talking. However, I can¡¯t blame myself for learning disappointment before expectations. I always pretend to follow realistic things, but I¡¯m actually a coward who¡¯s just crouching down for fear of getting hurt. Julia, searched the floor with her eyes while looking for the right words with her cheeks inflated, seemed to want to say at a glance, ¡®It¡¯s too early to lose hope!¡¯ In the end, she managed to say: ¡°Okay, lady. I¡¯m going down.¡± ¡°Yes, thank you.¡± As soon as the door closed, I shifted my gaze to the opened page. The time waiting for you¡­¡­ But I couldn¡¯t concentrate on the novel. It was because the letter on the other side of the desk kept grabbing my concentration. Even if I pretended not to be, it was not easy to ignore it, this heavy weight on my heart was not easy to ignore. After Julia visited, I couldn¡¯t read a single sentence properly and was frozen. As expected, it was unreasonable. I thought I wouldn¡¯t be able to do anything until I opened the letter that was showing off it¡¯s presence in my eyes, I had to face the cruel truth and accepted it. ¡°¡­Okay, let¡¯s open it.¡± If you are mentally prepared, it¡¯s equivalent to having it done thousands or tens of thousands of times. There¡¯s nothing to be afraid of now. As I picked up the letter, I took a deep breath. Because I wouldn¡¯t be able to breathe when I read the letter inside. My lungs swelled up significantly. ¡°¡­Ha.¡± I couldn¡¯t read more. I couldn¡¯t read any more. I exhaled and looked up at the ceiling. The tip of my toe was cold. I already know the result. It doesn¡¯t change it just because I face it. But why is my heart so numb? ¡­¡­Oh. One thing that changes would be the fact that I would be officially unhappy from today. In fact, in the meantime, I was able to stay in a shallow peace, saying, ¡®It¡¯s something I don¡¯t know yet,¡¯ and ¡®I haven¡¯t heard who is the winner yet.¡¯ But now I really have to choose. Am I going to focus entirely on finding a marriage partner as soon as possible, or will I try to find another way by writing little by little while avoiding my mother¡¯s gaze¡­¡­ Perhaps I could write a new novel, and when it is completed, go to a publishing house in the city and sell it. It¡¯s usually Mrs. Kerney and Julia who come to my room, and the two may not tell my mother about me writing secretly. There¡¯s no secret forever. However, if I achieve my dream of becoming a writer before the secret becomes no longer a secret¡­¡­. Of course, in order to do so, I will have to write several pages a day. Very desperately. But that¡¯s the only thing I want. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± As I was caught up in realistic thoughts, the storm in my heart began to subside. Exhaling with a determined face, I slowly lowered my gaze. I mustn¡¯t run away. Compared to what¡¯s going to happen in the future, it¡¯s very small¡­¡­. ¡°¡­..Kyaaa!¡± Gasp/shriek/ Kyaaa! I had no choice but to scream so loudly that it was painful. It was so loud that I wondered if I had ever made this loud sound in my life. ¡°Melissa!¡± ¡°¡­Lady!¡± Soon the door swung open with the sound of running up the old stairs. Mrs. Kerney and Julia, holding a ladle and a cloth, looked down at me, who was pale and shivering. ¡°What¡¯s wrong?¡± ¡°M¡­ My, my novel¡­¡­.¡± I held out the letter in front of the two of them with trembling hands. A thin sheet of paper trembled like an aspen tree shaking. * * * After reading the letter over and over again, the two of them shared a hug with me and left the room noisily saying they would deliver the news to my mother, and then I grabbed the pen. My mind seemed to be floating, but this condition did not seem to subside soon, so I decided to write a letter to the first person to come to mind when I heard the news. * * * The middle-aged man who handed the letter stood still with his head down. ¡°Ah.¡± Alan, who was reading the letter with a slight frown, finally threw a small bag on the table. When the man snatched it, the whispers rang in the air. As the man, who bent deeply, left the office as if running away, his ice-cold gaze fell down again. Even though he already read it several times. ¡°So sweet.¡± His face, which was muttering in a low voice, was white with anger. ¡°I was the first to know this news. Even more than your family.¡± Alan sneered coldly. ¡°And I¡¯m sorry to hear that it¡¯s all thanks to him. Would that novel have been created without me, Melissa Collins?¡± As the cold eyed turned toward the bottom of the letter, he closed his eyes in annoyance. Long fingers wrapped in black gloves nervously rang the bell, and the servant in front of the office hurriedly ran. ¡°Yes, young master.¡± Alan ordered with his bitter cold lips, ¡°Go to the port. Right now.¡± Chapter 43 - It’s Going To Be Quiet Dramatic Chapter 43: It¡¯s Going To Be Quiet Dramatic It was a cold rainy evening. My mother appeared a little late at the dinner table. Waiting for my mother, I and Mrs. Kerney were talking about meat and shopping cart prices that Mr. Greg brought. My mother opened her mouth. ¡°So¡­¡± I was definitely sitting in front of the table, but I was nervous all over as if I were floating in the air. ¡°When exactly are you going to the Principality?¡± To the point where I even got a mild dizziness. ¡°It¡¯s two months later, mom.¡± ¡°Two months¡­..¡± A candle on the simple dinner table was dripping with wax as if it were weeping silently. The flickering lights cast a faint shadow from time to time over my mother¡¯s pale face ¡°Melissa.¡± My mother¡¯s voice sounded strangely uneasy. ¡°Now, I won¡¯t laugh at you even if you¡¯re scared. You¡ª¡± ¡°I¡¯m not afraid.¡± It would be a lie if I said I was not at all afraid of a completely new challenge. However, I hurriedly replied because I thought I had to show a firm appearance to my mother who was worried about me studying abroad. My heart was pounding hard because I wondered if I was caught in Mrs. Kerney¡¯s eyes. ¡°No matter how my daughter is, I didn¡¯t expect your novel to be selected at all.¡± ¡°¡­so do I.¡± My mother¡¯s words didn¡¯t hurt me because I¡¯m not young enough to be hurt by the obvious facts. ¡°But, since it happened¡­¡­. I don¡¯t think I should stop your dreams with marriage anymore.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± I stared blankly at my mother with my lips open. She wasn¡¯t always healthy, but her face seemed to be very thin. I realized once again that time flies frighteningly fast. ¡°I wrote a letter and sent it to your father¡¯s unit. Your father¡­¡­ Shouldn¡¯t he know?¡± ¡°Yes¡­¡± ¡°I¡¯m sure your aunt will be happy to hear it, too. We¡¯ve been indebted to her for a while, so I¡¯ll say hello.¡± My mother cut the omelette in half, reciting in a low voice. Her voice was faintly filled with pride. I felt like she had mixed feelings. ¡°I¡¯ll learn a lot as it¡¯s a difficult opportunity to get. It bothers me that I have to leave home, but¡­¡­ Time will fly by as quickly as ever, Mom.¡± ¡°Yes.¡± ¡°Even if I go to the Principality, I will live frugally so as not to ask for pocket money or anything else.¡­.¡± Clumsy words poured out. My mother looked at me. ¡°Don¡¯t compromise, Melissa.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Because the most important thing is to spend time there with no regrets. It¡¯s a precious opportunity that may never come back in your life.¡± I was about to burst into tears at those words, but Mrs. Kerney, who was watching the mother and daughter with a nervous face, smiled. ¡°It¡¯s also the most beautiful time for both body and mind.¡± ¡°What?¡± I asked back awkwardly because I was somehow anxious about madam¡¯s humorous tone. And without fail, my prediction was right. ¡°It¡¯s okay if we suddenly have a Lunoain son-in-law! We would rather welcome him, Mel.¡± ¡°No, Madam, I¡¯m studying¡­¡­!¡± ¡°Originally, the Principality is famous for having a lot of stylish people. Right, Mrs. Collins?¡± My mother, who took turns looking at the embarrassed me and the excited Mrs. Kerney, answered with a quiet smile. * * * There was nothing in the parlour of the detached palace that was not luxurious. On the gilded ceiling, there were huge sacred religious paintings where you could feel the breath of a master, and countless candles were blazing brilliantly on a splendid chandelier reminiscent of a banquet hall. The situation on the tea table with its delicate style was no different. The jade-blue teacup, which was clearly an item of the Hwa Empire, was flashing brilliantly. A faint steam rose like mist from the fragrant tea. ¡°It¡¯s been a while.¡± Beyond that, the shape of her lips, like petals, curled up in a captivating way, caught Bentley¡¯s attention. ¡°How have you been, your highness?¡± ¡°It¡¯s thanks to you, Miss Elwood.¡± Bentley adjusted his posture to sit down, while curling his eyes. ¡°I think it would be great if you could treat me a little more comfortably.¡± ¡°How could I?¡± There was an oddly pretty and melodic voice. In fact, everything about her was like that. Like a coveted flower that attracts both bees and butterflies. Bentley couldn¡¯t understand that Alan, a distant relative of Monica Elwood, seemed to have no interest in her. As Alan who doesn¡¯t reveal his true feelings, he was half convinced that the two of them were already some kind of partner. Not long ago, when he learned of the existence of an ordinary woman, he had to dismiss his suspicion. I still don¡¯t know if my close friend¡¯s cold obsession with Melissa Collins is love, or some kind of sadism to play around with¡­¡­ For him now, the most important thing is to focus on the reality ahead of him. Monica was as beautiful as a flower and had enough culture to seem like she was the precious lady of a famous family, but she did not feel like a quiet woman at all. She didn¡¯t even seem willing to hide that fact. ¡®At least this night she came to me alone¡­¡­.¡¯ In fact, in recent years, the king¡¯s surveillance of his deviant behavior has become severe. After sunset, the king¡¯s servants surrounded the prince¡¯s carriage. As a result, it has been a while since he couldn¡¯t go on a ¡®night walk,¡¯ due to this he couldn¡¯t stand it anymore. The prince slowly crossed his legs, not taking his eyes off Monica¡¯s plump lips. ¡°I think drinking alcohol at a night like this would be better than tea, Ms. Elwood. If you don¡¯t mind¡ª¡± ¡°No, your highness¡± Monica smiled and whispered softly. ¡°I¡¯ll drink next time.¡± It was a clear rejection, but he was not offended by the attitude of promising the next time. Rather, he smiled leisurely. Thinking that he might finally be able to hug her next time. ¡°More than that, I want to tell you why I came here first..¡­.I¡¯m in a hurry.¡± This kind of development was familiar. An explicit gaze like a hungry street cat, like when the street women who recognized him as a prince came to him lovingly, just to take advantage of him somehow. Bentley laughed as if he had been waiting. I¡¯m willing to hang out with you and whatever it is, I am willing to give you as much as you want. He was willing to be deceived again and again if he could just fill himself in those soft and fragrant arms of hers. ¡°As much as you want.¡± ¡°Your Highness¡­¡­ Do you know where Alan is?¡± But her answer completely deviated from the prince¡¯s expectations. ¡°When I went to the office, they said he had already returned, and he wasn¡¯t in the mansion. He said he got a villa.¡± ¡°Oh¡­¡± The prince, who was a little embarrassed, let out a wide smile. ¡°What should I do about this, Miss Elwood. I don¡¯t know where Sir Alan is either.¡± ¡°Aren¡¯t you his close friend?¡± ¡°Are close friends as close as family?¡± Monica had a somewhat resentful expression on her face as Bentley gracefully sipped his tea after he had finished speaking. Her teacup was left untouched. ¡°We¡¯re not a family.¡± ¡°Ah, it¡¯s true that you¡¯re actually closer to him than others because you¡¯re a distant relative. But Sir Alan said, you¡¯re a family¡ª¡± ¡°Your highness, I¡¯m going to be his wife.¡± Only then did the prince¡¯s eyes, which had been curved as thin as a snake, open wide. ¡°So your highness has to help me. Did he ask you not to let me know about his new home?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± I got it completely wrong. The prince smiled sadly and gently touched the tip of his sharp chin. Looking at the situation, the woman in front of him seemed to be unilaterally courting Alan. Alan doesn¡¯t seem to think of her as more than a family member, as he said earlier. ¡°There¡¯s no woman who knows him deeply, no woman who can fully embrace him¡­¡­ there¡¯s only me in the world.¡± It was an unexpected development, but there was no doubt that it was a very interesting situation. Due to Alan¡¯s personality, he won¡¯t look twice at something he doesn¡¯t want so the red-haired beauty eventually will be the heroine of the tragedy. It¡¯s going to be quite dramatic. ¡°So you have to help me as a close friend, your highness.¡± ¡°Hmm.¡± Bentley was lost in thought for a moment as he saw Monica, who seemed somewhat desperate. He was sure that she doesn¡¯t know much about Alan¡¯s new hobby, but should I tell her? The prince thought for a moment, and when he saw Monica sitting in front of him and biting her lip, there was suddenly blood gushing. Before bringing up Alan¡¯s story, she was so relaxed and noble, but now she¡¯s pitiful. If she is going to be the heroine of a tragedy anyway, I should side with Monica Elwood for now. It would be perfect if she was so heartbroken that she would gain comfort in the arms of the prince No matter how great his interest in Alan Leopold was, the prince was also a man who was sympathetic to the eye-catching, seductive beauty. She¡¯s no humble average woman. ¡®He is not going to kill me if I say it. If you ask your family with a face that looks like you¡¯re going to cry, a man¡¯s heart is weakened,¡¯ His pale lips drew a long arc that was covered by his hands. ¡°I want to help you. I mean it. Miss Elwood deserves to be with him.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know where Sir Alan¡¯s villa is, but I¡¯ll tell you something else I know.¡± Monica¡¯s blue eyes suddenly widened. ¡°¡­¡­If it¡¯s something else.¡± ¡°It seems that my close friend has a new hobby. He often shows up with rosy hair that resembles you.¡± Bentley¡¯s dark gold eyes, who was holding the teacup, narrowed strangely. As if relieved by his words, the woman regained her fascinating smile. ¡°If it¡¯s that wig, I gave it to him as a gift. As you can see, it looks just like me.¡± ¡°Indeed.¡± ¡°I wanted Alan to be free sometimes. A whole new look. I don¡¯t know if it¡¯s possible since he is going to the Principality soon, but I don¡¯t know how suffocating he is living here in the Kingdom of Sorne.¡± It would be nice if he could come. Monica, who muttered in a gentle voice, lifted the teacup. It was a face that seemed to be thinking about something that was too lovely to contain to only her thoughts Bentley was sad, but he felt the evil desire to see that beautiful face soaked in tears. Because all beautiful things shine even more when they are hurt. ¡°Oh¡­ Going for a walk in disguise is not his new hobby.¡± The prince continued, pretending to be a little embarrassed. ¡°You know Miss Elwood, but he is very¡­.because it¡¯s special.¡± ¡°¡­Of course, your highness. With all due respect, even if you give me all the kingdoms, I will still choose him. So, what is his hobby? ¡°A person.¡± ¡°¡­..What?¡± Monica, who was sweeping her red hair, froze. ¡°Your highness, that kind of joke,¡± ¡°That¡¯s too¡­ She¡¯s a woman.¡± The prince added with his arms folded slowly. From now on, it was the most interesting scene. ¡°She has no resemblance to you at all.¡± Chapter 44 - From Your Winter Chapter 44: From Your Winter Although the renovation was completed, a white candle was burning by the window on the second floor of the old house, where traces of time were still scattered everywhere. The light from the candles dimmed over the well-groomed face of the man sitting alone next to it. Alan, dressed in a silk shirt that was not properly buttoned, was not visible even to the servants of the mansion. Unusually, he donned a defenseless face, he rubbed his clearly exposed collarbone. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± The feeling of being cramped as if he was still wearing cravat, maybe meant that he drank alcohol a little too much. Exhaling softly with a bored face, Alan buried himself deeply in the backrest. Even though he had a busy day that even using two bodies wouldn¡¯t be enough, it was painful for him to always feel regretful and lacking. Things to check never decreased and despite working at all hours there was still more waiting for him. After organizing work, it was close to midnight. Life was never easy to begin with, But being harsh on yourself is never an easy thing to see. Regardless, Alan pushed himself with a murderous schedule pushing him to the extreme from time to time, giving him a sense of fear that he might get lost sometimes. However, he had no place to back down. He didn¡¯t know how to stop anymore. He had only one purpose of not giving up a life full of disillusionment and he was still holding onto it. Alan Leopold lived only for that. ¡°Whoo¡­¡± A fresh, white smoke from wet lips flowed out and scattered. The bitter smell of chocolate and wet soil wafted slowly in the air. The transparent, brown liquid of whiskey glistened in the glass he was drinking from and gently wrapped warmth around him. Midnight. It was all quiet and dark outside the window. There was a blurry light that looked like a small dot. A red brick house located on a small hill, where the light leaked from the small window on the second floor. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± His white snow-like cold face suddenly had a faint smile. Under the thick eyelashes, his gaze as cold as the morning mist stared at the weak light for a long time. It was a strange thing to find the greatest comfort of a day in this dilapidated old house, where he can only stay late at night and very early in the morning. Alan turned his head towards the console table placed near the window. Above it lay a letter, handwritten as if it had been written by his left hand, and a golden envelope with a magnificent sailing ship printed on the outside. It was the last job of the day. ¡°¡­¡­soon.¡± The man who muttered languidly drank the whiskey slowly. A thin smoke rose from the cigar sandwiched between his long fingers. * * * There was a commotion during the day. This was because a royal carriage once again came to the two-story house located in a quiet place outside the center of the capital. When a royal official visited me the other day, there was only one carriage. However, this time there were as many as three, and it was clear that the carriage at the forefront belonged to the royal family. I was suddenly scared. This is because I remembered the unpleasant gaze I felt when I met Prince Bentley and an unexpected soggy touch that stroked my head slowly. I didn¡¯t want to face him again. But the problem is that there is no way for me to dare to reject the royal family.¡­. ¡°Miss Collins?¡± ¡°Oh¡­!¡± When I saw a lady getting off the carriage, I was so startled that I covered my mouth. ¡°I see you, Princess Cynthia.¡­.¡± Princess Cynthia, who is mentioned as the first royal daughter and the most likely candidate to succeed the throne, drove all kinds of beautiful stories and praise compared to the prince who had nothing to praise. A royal treasure that is wise, frugal, and has extreme love for the kingdom. I bowed down holding her outstretched hand with trembling hands. Apparently, today, she came to meet the owner of the novel selected by the academy and came to explain the royal support. In fact, like the last time, only officials were supposed to come, but the princess, who had a great interest in fostering the cultural foundation of the kingdom, came with me to personally praise my efforts and achievements. ¡°I heard you¡¯re not an academy student.¡± ¡°Yes, I¡¯m embarrassed but I can¡¯t afford the tuition¡­¡­.¡± Then Princess Cynthia¡¯s greenish brown eyes scanned the surface of the two-story house. For example, faded red bricks and gaps between them. But it was never an arrogant look. The princess spoke in an elegant and confident voice. ¡°Nevertheless, it is great that your work was selected by defeating prominent competitors.¡± ¡°I¡¯m grateful for it, your highness¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I was curious because the dean praised so much, but I couldn¡¯t believe she was such a small girl.¡± Somehow, my palms tickled and my face was hot when I was praised by the first princess for being excellent. I muttered with a small voice. ¡°I¡¯m¡­ I¡¯m past adulthood.¡­.¡± Then the princess burst into laughter. ¡°Then you will sincerely work harder and shine in the kingdom with your extraordinary talents.¡± When Mrs. Kerney awkwardly offered her tea, Princess Cynthia refused, saying it was okay because she met me in person and said hello. In addition, it seemed that there was a different schedule immediately thereafter. ¡°So¡­¡± After the princess got on the carriage, an official approached and gave a brief explanation. ¡°So I¡¯m going to attain a two year academy in the Principality for literature?¡± ¡°That¡¯s right. And¡­¡­.¡± In addition, the registration fee and dormitory fee have been paid, and the monthly living expenses could be handed over to the academy¡¯s person in charge on a specific day every month. Shortly after receiving the documents with the descriptions written on them, three flamboyant royal carriages swept away in dust. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Thanks to this sudden commotion, the unbelievable reality in front of me was more vivid than ever. How can I leave my house for two years and live abroad alone? I¡¯ve never had such an experience even in my previous life. ¡°About two months until I leave for the Principality of Lunoa¡­.¡­.¡± Returning to the room, I was swimming in endless thoughts. Most were negative imaginations or worries. ¡°What should I do with my clumsy Lunoa language?¡± Sourne and Lunoa have the same language, so daily communication is possible to some extent, but it¡¯s a completely different story in academy classes. Will I be able to keep up with it? Life itself was also a problem. It is said that living expenses are supported, but would her expenses compare to the locals when she has to buy everything from scratch? I can¡¯t believe I have to stand alone among those warlike and bold Lunoites.¡­. Being independent from home means having to handle everything outside the door on your own. Having a bad habit of worrying about things that haven¡¯t happened, my heart seemed to be tightening already because I was afraid of how messy my settlement in Lunoa would be. There was nothing to be upset about just because the only best friend Viola left for Piccom. No, it was rather a happy thing. When I go to the Principality, I won¡¯t even have a friend¡­¡­. ¡°Ah.¡± I don¡¯t have friends, but I do have him. ¡°Yes, if it¡¯s him.¡­.¡± The letter stating that I am also going to the Principality has not yet reached Toby. It¡¯s probably floating somewhere on the sea between the Kingdom and the Principality. However, it was not difficult to imagine how brightly his face would smile as he read the letter, and how happy his black and friendly eyes would shine. It was so good that I could draw a picture of it right away. Then, I, who had been biting my nails nervously until just now, disappeared, and a faint smile spread around my lips. I always thought so, but Tobias is a person who resembles the spring. And in the most brilliant season of the year, we would meet again. At the same time, overwhelming emotions flooded in, even though it felt difficult to realize that I had come to his side sooner than expected. I¡¯m sure he¡¯ll smile at me just like I remember. His dimples on his blushing cheeks, asking if I had enough time to think, and he will kneel shyly once again. By the time I return to the kingdom after studying abroad, he will be twenty-eight years old, so before we get separated again, he¡­¡­. ¡°Maybe¡­¡± He might propose to me. Someday in my imagination, I saw myself running freely on the sunset street of the Principality with a happy face. My brown cilantro hair flutters, a book with my name written on it in one hand, andflowers for the two of us at the dinner table in the other (hand)¡­¡­. Even if it¡¯s not a hot love like a burning flame, with Tobias but I could be happy to my heart¡¯s content. Because he¡¯s the one who makes me chatter and makes me laugh a lot. With him, I think everything will be fine for two years when everything is clumsy and scary. I stretched my body with a lighter face. Come to think of it, the newly bought novel was lying on the desk with only the ending part left to read. ¡°Oh, this book¡­¡­.¡± The two people who hated each other even at the beginning, fall in love that cannot be resisted. In the end, it is about longing for each other out of control and suffering at the same time., and when I read it so vividly that it made me exhausted. ¡°I think I want to write a novel like this someday.¡± Now, only the long-awaited ending remained, but I couldn¡¯t read it hastily under the pretext of preparing my mind, but I completely forgot after receiving the academy¡¯s letter. Should I read it until the end? No matter how slow I read, I think I can finish it within an hour. But good days are continuing after a long time, and if I read this¡­¡­. ¡°Lady!¡± At that time, the door burst open and Julia rushed in. I calmed down my surprised heart and complained. ¡°¡­Julia, did you forget how to knock? What¡¯s the point of calling me lady?So, can you call me a lady anywhere else?¡± ¡°I¡¯m sorry.¡± Julia, who said so, didn¡¯t look sorry at all. Wouldn¡¯t it be possible if you had a face that looked like you were having fun as if you were whistling at any moment? ¡°I got a letter for the lady¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Letter?¡± Did Viola reply? After writing a letter to Toby, I also sent a letter to Piccom. Even so, it¡¯s a little early. ¡°Is it Viola?¡± ¡°No!¡± Julia laughed. If it¡¯s this kind of expression¡­¡­. ¡°Tobias?¡± ¡°Well, I can¡¯t tell you the answer. I think you two wrote in your own code, so let¡¯s pretend we don¡¯t know!¡± Julia, who handed out the letter with a peachy cheeks, hurriedly left the room. The sound of her running down the stairs and her lively whistle faded away. ¡°What are you talking about?¡± I flipped over a letter envelope with nothing written on it and froze. From your winter. Chapter 45 - Moonlight—Ticket to Lunoa Chapter 45: Moonlight¡ªTicket to Lunoa This unstable and precarious handwriting must have belonged to that man. Just facing those words gives me goosebumps on the back of my neck. As if I were already trained to react so. There was no information about the sender on the envelope. It¡¯s not a common letter, but the problem was that Julia was too simple. If Mrs. Kerney had received it, she would have asked about the source of this strange letter. ¡°Is the person who brought this at least looking normal¡­?¡± Well¡­¡­ I guess I shouldn¡¯t be surprised by this mysterious man that bought off all types of people. By the way, my winter? I guarantee that there will be only one person in the past, present and future whom I compared to winter, that cold season which is brilliant even without color. That¡¯s how the first verse of the poem I wrote while thinking about him began. If only one season is allowed in my life, I will live through the winter that resembles you.¡­. There were days when I recklessly threw myself into the arms of winter with that mind. It was the day when the unprecedented heavy snow poured out. That day, I froze coldly at the foot of the harsh winter, and my heart almost stopped. ¡°It was the winter that saved me..¡­.¡± I was still lost in thought. Why did that unidentified man who looked just like Alan Leopold say he was my winter? Naturally, the flow of thoughts passed by. He is Alan Leopold. What is strangely different from what I thought of Alan¡¯s true self, or his public persona was all just an act. And Alan read my letter, which he accidentally picked up at the victory ball, without throwing it away. He didn¡¯t just read it, he still remembers it, and he may still have it¡­¡­. Maybe it was the poem that I accidentally took to the ball that made him fall in love with my words and sentences? Maybe the praise from the academy got to my head to create such a ridiculous hypothesis. If this hypothesis is questionable, it is the fact that Alan had plenty of opportunities. He¡¯s my love let¡­ter. I don¡¯t know when he read it, but if he read it and had a crush on me, he would have been able to contact me at any time. He knows where I live, so he would have been able to send someone home sooner or if he had held a small charity event in the name of my family¡­.. Even the coffee shop I go to often belongs to him. But if he just decided to hide his identity and observe my every move¡­ ¡­It¡¯s hard to see that he has good intentions for me. Maybe he was trying to imitate the way I write or the process of getting inspiration, by observing in detail? It may have been that he noticed my talent and eventually became covetous. As a member of the Leopold family, he has always lived a life of easily getting what he wants, so it¡¯s not unreasonable to have such a mindset¡­. ¡°Maybe,¡± While I was confused in my head, a certain thought came to my mind. ¡°Maybe he¡¯s finally trying to reveal himself..¡­.¡± No wonder, he, who had never appeared in front of me so far, slowly began to appear, and even revealed the fact that he became my neighbor. Now that he has come to call himself ¡®your winter¡¯..¡­. My intuition was screaming again and again. At last he was ready to reveal that he was Alan Leopold. I immediately opened the envelope. My tightly closed lips were naturally tightened. When I opened the envelope with trembling hands, I could see a finely folded letter, and a stiff paper just the same size as the envelope. I took at the thin paper that was presumed to be a letter first. Then I unfolded it with a very nervous face. As always, the letter was not even properly formal, and of course, only three lines were there. My eyebrows frowned automatically due to despondency. ¡°Congratulations?¡± You wouldn¡¯t be happy to see that I gave the novel to the academy, but congratulations? Didn¡¯t he even send a threatening letter to write the novel just for him? It even contains content that seems to wish me good luck for studying abroad in the Principality, so I can¡¯t help but be suspicious. I don¡¯t know what the hell changed his mind. Regardless, this same man, who has made me tremble in anxiety by rolling me in his hand for months, is sending me such a congratulatory message¡­.. It was simply absurd. ¡°Did you suddenly repent in front of God or what¡­.¡± Naturally, it was not immediately acceptable. Did you think I¡¯d cry and be thankful for this? Do you deserve to say this to me in the first place? Is he being sarcastic for not listening to him? In the meantime, it was frightening that he even knew the news of my novel¡¯s victory. What I didn¡¯t quite understand was the last sentence as well. You¡¯re not going to chase me anymore? That¡¯s because¡­ There¡¯s no need for that? I felt despondency and bitterness at the tip of my tongue for no reason. ¡°¡­Ha.¡± Of course, to see him disappear completely from my life is something that I¡¯ll welcome with my open arms. I don¡¯t know how much I¡¯ve been hoping for this to happen. But the saying that there was no need for it weighed on my heart with a strange sense. that feeling somehow resembles emptiness¡­¡­¡­. How should I accept it like this? He had been holding my breath for several months already, and he was soaking wet in every crack in my daily life. I was conscious of him with all my senses, both when I was awake and when I fell asleep. So, this might be the feeling of missing a long-time sick tooth. The pain that has been bothering me has disappeared, so I feel relieved, but I feel empty right now¡­¡­. In life, there are often moments when you feel unfamiliar with yourself. So rather than being fully happy that this man finally disappears from my life, it would be just a moment to feel somewhat complicated. After months of overworking my heart, some aftereffects will be inevitable. Nevertheless, in the end, everything will find its place, and I know everything will be fine. With that heart, I breathed deeply and exhaled slowly. At the same time as the strength of my whole body was released, the tension that was tense seemed to fade. It was then that I started thinking about the contents of the envelope. Reluctantly, I pulled out a long, stiff piece of paper. Thinking that it was inevitable to feel reluctant as if a shadow had been cast again. The paper, which is exactly the same size as the envelope, was very colorful with gilded edges. In the center, a sailboat with a large sail was drawn, and the name of the shipping company, the departure date in less than two months, and the letters ¡®Moonlight¡¯ and ¡®To the Principality of Lunoa¡¯ were clearly engraved. ¡°¡­..Is it a ticket?¡± I can¡¯t believe there are all these kinds of fancy tickets in the world. I stared at it for quite some time, because the surface that shines with every gentle tilt is so beautiful that it is mesmerizing. So, is this the last present from the stalker? ¡°¡­¡­.¡± In fact, it doesn¡¯t seem like I¡¯ll be receiving the boat fare, so I had to purchase a ticket to the Principality. Moreover, even the lowest-class tickets, not such expensive-looking tickets, are quite expensive. That was common fact that even a child would know So, there was no reason to tear up a valid ticket just because it was sent by a suspicious man. ¡­¡­Such excessive solicitude for my welfare, that¡¯s the only meaning I could derive from this genuine ticket. It¡¯s not like a trap set up by a stalker. * * * I wasn¡¯t the only one who had never left the kingdom. All three women in the red two-story house tilted their heads when I took out the ticket and showed it to them Among us, my father, who was a soldier, was the only one who went abroad, but the camp was too far away. My mother, who asked the source of the ticket. I told her that it had been enclosed in the letter from the academy. However, if this is fake, the situation becomes complicated because I have to get the money from my mother. For proper follow-up, it is necessary to check the facts quickly, but do I really have to go to the port and check it out? The port is too far from the capital. If it was in the same direction as Piccom, it would be worth visiting Viola before studying abroad, but Piccom and the port were situated in completely opposite directions. Can I ride the carriage to the port? At that time, Mr. Greg miraculously came. After lunch, I was playing the piano blankly, and suddenly I felt like the sun was shining*. (* To get an idea/enlightenment) Greg might have been to the port before! ¡°¡­..ahem, wait a minute.¡± ¡°Yes, madam.¡± When Mrs. Kearney, who carefully examined the meat, disappeared to the kitchen to pay for it, I quietly approached the front door. ¡°Hello, Mr. Greg.¡± ¡°Oh, Melissa! I heard you¡¯re about to study abroad? You¡¯re so passionate. I¡¯ll cheer for you.¡± Mr. Greg gave a gentle greeting. I quickly opened my mouth before Mrs. Kerney returned and felt something strange. ¡°¡­.Well, Mr. Greg. Are you only going out of the capital to the suburbs? Do you have any plans to go to the port?¡± ¡°Port?¡± Mr. Greg continued to talk, scratching his gray beard. ¡°Since I am a butcher and the freshness of the meat is important, I don¡¯t travel far. When I was young, I used to travel and do labor on holidays!¡± ¡°Holidays?¡± Mr. Greg laughed at my question. ¡°Yes, I worked as a sailor when I was young!¡± ¡°Ah!¡± I took the ticket straight out of the apron pocket I was wearing. ¡°Then, do you know if this is a real ticket?¡± ¡°Ho¡­ Where did you get this?¡± When Mr. Greg¡¯s bloodshot eyes suddenly lit up, I became nervous. ¡°C-can you answer me?¡± ¡°The ticket to Lunoa is right. The Moonlight written here is the most luxurious passenger ship in the kingdom.¡± That too, it¡¯s a first class room. Mr. Greg muttered with admiration. ¡°It¡¯s worth it, but it¡¯s not sold to anyone in the first place¡­¡­. Even if you sell this house, you can¡¯t buy this ticket, Melissa.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°You couldn¡¯t have bought it yourself.¡± Mr. Greg¡¯s gaze became persistent. I said it in a hurry. ¡°¡­¡­There¡¯s an anonymous sponsor watching me. It¡¯s from him.¡± ¡°What? Who is it?¡± ¡°Thank you for letting me know, Mr. Greg. Bye!¡± I ran down the stairs, pressing down my pounding heart. Chapter 46 - Please Look At Me Chapter 46: Please Look At Me Her beautiful face, which was praised enough by countless men, could not overcome boredom and showed a dreary light. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± It had been almost an hour since she came to his office, and Monica was literally left neglected. There was no change even if she made noise by tapping the shiny marble floor with her pointed heels and humming an unknown song. Still, he didn¡¯t call her name. The only sounds he made were the sound of signing papers or drawing lines with a pen tip, and the sound of occasionally flapping and turning over a sheet of paper. Eventually, Monica opened her mouth. From now on, it will be inevitable that she¡¯ll be treated as a disturbance, but she was at her limit. ¡°Alan.¡± ¡°What?¡± Alan didn¡¯t even take his eyes off the paper he was reading. ¡°Baby¡­¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± No answer came back this time. He annoyingly wrinkled his forehead. ¡°Troy.¡± The sound of dropping the pen rang the chilly office. ¡°You.¡± ¡°Now you are looking at me.¡± Monica¡¯s bright red lips drew a line. It was a lonely smile for some reason. ¡°It¡¯s been a few months. Can¡¯t you give me a little welcome?¡± ¡°I didn¡¯t ask you to come.¡± The dry voice scattered like smoke. The bright eyes beneath her flower-red hair eagerly traced the man in front of her. ¡°¡­ Have you ever thought about me? Even once.¡± ¡°Ha.¡± Alan let out a light sigh and ruffled his hair in annoyance. His soft black hair wrapped around his pale fingers caught Monica¡¯s gaze as if possessing her. ¡°Didn¡¯t I tell you clearly? It¡¯s a busy time.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know why you¡¯re doing this, this is troublesome for both of us. Do you have too much time on your hands?¡± Monica, who closed her lips, raised her body from the sofa in the center of the office. While narrowing the distance one step by one to the desk, her jewelry decorations dangling from her head and ears swung a little and reflected colorful lights. ¡°It¡¯s okay to put some work down a little. You¡¯re just hoarding excess work that your subordinates¡¯ should be doing.¡± Soon she stopped walking. ¡°Alan, you must do that¡ª¡± ¡°The reason why I¡¯m doing this,¡± His cold blue-gray eyes approached her and stared straight at the woman standing. ¡°You don¡¯t know?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know. Just¡­..It¡¯s sad.¡± ¡°Monica.¡± Allan, who was exhausted, covered his tired eyes. His actions, facial expressions, and breath were filled with terrible boredom. Looking at Alan, Monica suddenly felt tears filling her eyes. She continued with her trembling fists clenched together. ¡°I miss my childhood.¡± ¡°¡­ What?¡± ¡°At that time, you were sweet to me, too. You didn¡¯t regret the time you spent with me, and it didn¡¯t bother you when I came to see you. Rather, rather you¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Whoo¡­¡± Alan let out a slow sigh. Even though her voice was trembling unusually, he didn¡¯t feel any regret or had any intention to soothe her. ¡°Look at me, Alan¡­¡­.¡± Even if he was no longer affectionate to her, Monica¡¯s mind remained unchanged. The memories of the distant past, where they shared special feelings, were cherished in her heart without getting blurry or fading at all. When she wanted to see him, she crossed the sea, rode the carriage to the capital, and went to his office, and what was waiting for her was always a cold, uninspired face. But it took a long time when she became used to it. She loved even that image of him, and only she can understand and hug poor Alan. However, the reason why she became emotionally agitated was because she heard something she never wanted to believe. ¡®Person. That¡¯s too¡­¡­ It was a woman.¡¯ Alan Leopold, whom Monica knew, was a person who risked everything to get the family into his hands perfectly. It was the only reason he didn¡¯t abandon his life. That¡¯s why he hung on to his work pathologically and always acted sharp like a thorny rose with temperamental sensitivity. From what she heard from the family¡¯s servants, they said he never sleeps deeply. Time, especially his was of incalculable value, even if it were only a few hours or a few minutes. So even if he no longer looked at her affectionately as before, Monica understood everything. Sometimes he felt so pitiful that he was lovable. She wanted to support him in every way she could. It was just sad that he never wanted her. If Alan finally holds the family in his hands and reigns as Leopold¡¯s owner, this journey will be over, and by that time, she will proudly set herself as his companion and the hostess of the family. Alan will also thank her for waiting and smile brightly just like he used to do in her distant memory.¡­. ¡°Don¡¯t be like a child.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡­¡­I¡¯ve endured everything with just these thoughts. ¡°You know I work by shortening my sleep. You must have sent the servants to watch.¡± It¡¯s your specialty. Alan added. ¡°If you really think about me,¡± ¡°¡­Melissa Collins?¡± Monica said out a name that had been hovering around the tip of her tongue the moment she faced him. It was an impulse. ¡°She¡¯s taking up your time so much that you have to cut back on sleep¡­Is she that girl?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Alan did not affirm, but he did not deny it either. During that brief silence, Monica tasted the despair of blood flowing back. ¡°Can you say something?¡± ¡°How far did you hear it?¡± ¡°Haa¡­¡± At the same time as the low sigh burst, the round tears fell over her smooth cheeks. Bentley¡¯s words seemed to be true. What kind of woman would have caught Alan¡¯s eye when he is Monica¡¯s whole world? His heart, which has never been allowed even a very thin slit to her, even though she has always dedicated her unchanging love. ¡°Monica.¡± ¡°No way, you love her¡­¡­?¡± ¡°Why are you crying?¡± Alan stood up as if in trouble. He pulled out a neatly folded handkerchief from his arms and handed it to her. ¡°Do you love her?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Monica soon began to sniffle like a child. Alan walked out of the desk with a look of helplessness on his face and stood in front of her. ¡°It¡¯s up to you to misunderstand, Monica.¡± A quiet whisper continued. ¡°Why don¡¯t you think outside the box?¡± As the handkerchief, which had his scent on it, touched her eyes, Monica held her breath ¡°¡­The prince said, Alan is totally obsessed with her.¡­.¡± ¡°It¡¯s basically just blatant nonsense.¡± The handkerchief moved slowly from the corners of her eyes to the cheeks, wiping away the long fallen tears. Monica shook her shoulder finely, ecstatic at the gentle touch that she felt over the thin handkerchief. ¡°You said you weren¡¯t in a relationship¡­¡­ but If you disguise yourself up and enjoy secret meetings¡­¡­.¡± It was then that Alan took away the handkerchief soaked with tears. ¡°That¡¯s enough. I¡¯m not talented at soothing you.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Monica¡¯s red lips closed tightly. So that her tears do not rise again. The fact that a man with no talent for soothing a crying woman was soothing her like this gave her overwhelming comfort. ¡®I¡¯ve met her before.¡¯ The prince she met in the private palace that night had strange eyes. Ragged royalty with snake-like eyes. She had heard it many times through Alan about his conduct. Perhaps that¡¯s why his desire for her was exceptionally easily read. ¡®She was a shabby woman with nothing to see. She can¡¯t even reach your toes.¡¯ As such, no lies were felt in his words. It would be true that a woman named Melissa Collins is ordinary and trivial. That Alan is crazy about such a trivial woman, explaining it to him would be deeply frustrating, she hoped his judgment is momentarily blurred. However, Monica felt very questionable about Alan¡¯s being crazy about a woman. He is a poor guy who doesn¡¯t even recognize such close relationships because he didn¡¯t learn love. In every way, Alan can¡¯t really love a woman. She wondered just in case, but his dull reaction convinced her. However, Alan was a special man. No one in this kingdom is more special than him. So, if it¡¯s a feeling other than love, it¡¯s enough¡­¡­. ¡°It¡¯s not something I should worry about, is it?¡± ¡°That won¡¯t happen.¡± Monica continued, reaching out to his flawless cheeks. ¡°Baby, it¡¯s okay if you¡¯re playing with her for a while. I have done a lot of things like that, too.¡­.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I¡¯m just afraid she approached you with bad intentions¡­¡­.I heard she¡¯s a woman who doesn¡¯t have anything.¡± Alan gently removed her strangely seductive touch. Then he smiled with a smile that was clear to be a smile, but as beautiful as heaven. ¡°It would be the opposite.¡± ¡°¡­¡­ What?¡± Monica, of course, thought she heard it wrong. ¡°What did you say?¡± ¡°That¡¯s enough. Go back and rest.¡± ¡°That woman¡­.¡± ¡°I¡¯ll try to make some time soon.¡± She was walking toward the doorway with Alan¡¯s arm around her shoulder. He was kicking her out. Monica¡¯s heart plummeted to the ground. ¡°¡­¡­Please tell me where your villa is. I¡¯ll wait patiently there, okay?¡± ¡°No.¡± ¡°Then¡­Then let me meet that woman, Miss Collins. If she¡¯s the person for whom you¡¯re making time to meet, I¡¯ll also¡­.!¡± Suddenly, the two of them stood in front of the door, and Alan grabbed the doorknob with his left hand, which was not wrapped around her shoulder. I¡¯m sure he intends to push me away. ¡°Wait a minute¡­¡± Monica closed her eyes in a hurry. ¡°Can you arrange an introduction? Do you think I¡¯m going to be bad? I am not.¡± ¡°It doesn¡¯t have to be right now.¡± ¡°¡­are you going to introduce yourself?¡± At the same time as she said that, Alan opened the door. Some of the servants standing in the hallway bowed their heads at once. ¡°Well, that might happen.¡± ¡°What do you mean by that¡­?¡± Alan beckoned and called one of his subordinates and instructed them to prepare a carriage. Then, looking back at Monica, he replied in the warmest voice in today¡¯s conversation with her. ¡°I¡¯m going to go to Lunoa with you.¡± * * * I don¡¯t know how deeply relieving the fact that the ticket sent by the stalker was real. That too in the first-class cabin of the finest passenger ship in the kingdom¡­¡­ I was embarrassed, but my heart was pounding with great anticipation. I can¡¯t believe my dream of studying abroad begins with luck that will never happen again in my life. It was so wonderful that it was hard to find a word to describe it. All of my memories with him were chilly, mostly terrifying, still veiled, but now it¡¯s over. So everything seemed to be fine. But I overlooked it again. The reason why I grew up to be such an introvert was because of this cruel life that constantly made me feel skeptical. That¡¯s why I had to drop the letter I had been waiting for. Chapter 47 - My Crazy Winter, I Will Run Away From You. Chapter 47: My Crazy Winter, I Will Run Away From You. That afternoon in the living room, Mrs. Kerney, me, and Julia were talking about one thing or another, picking up the clothes or folding the laundry. At that time, I heard the sound of a letter arriving from outside, and I thought of Tobias momentarily. It was so natural. I jumped up from my place even before Julia could get up. The letter handed over was sealed with Leopold¡¯s seal, and Toby¡¯s name was also written on the back. The letter I sent must have just arrived in Lunoa. So there was no way this could be the reply to that letter, but whatever it was, I was just glad to hear from Toby after a long time. After seeing my reaction, Mrs. Kearney and Julia immediately recognized the source of the letter, and the quiet afternoon quickly turned into a fuss, so I had no choice but to run up to the room with a red face. Will there ever be a day when I¡¯ll get used to the embarrassing fuss of the two? I opened the letter at once without even thinking of sitting in front of the desk. Toby¡¯s handwriting, which is not outstanding but shows affection, made me laugh as always. However, while reading the letter, I turned pale like a person who saw something that they shouldn¡¯t see. White paper fluttered and fell down on the floor, and after all my movements paused, I hardened like a person who got a frostbite. I had to pick it up again and check if I read it correctly, but I couldn¡¯t. I hope what I just read is not true.¡­. I sat down on my trembling knees. The letter was right in front of me. ¡°Ah¡­¡± I couldn¡¯t stop the burst of tears and covered my mouth helplessly. I can¡¯t believe this happened to Toby. I couldn¡¯t believe it. ¡°How can this be¡­..¡± Uncontrollable tears flowed down my cheeks nonstop. My throat was choked like it was burning. Toby was, indeed, a good and pure person. Like a ray of light in a dark world. And there are so many bad people in the world. There are countless fellows who deserve to be judged, but why did it have to be Toby? Why? From some point on, I was crying while covering my mouth. Soon, anxious voices and worrisome murmurs could be heard outside the door, but no knocks or voices were heard, and their consideration did not disturb my sorrow. I will be on my way to study abroad soon. And naturally, I was going to get help settling down by Toby, who was there first. But I swear I wasn¡¯t crying this much because of the regret that I couldn¡¯t get the help. I cried for a long time because I was just sad about Toby¡¯s poor life. I sat down blankly for such a long time. I must have lost half of hismybody temperature to the cold wooden door I was leaning against. I couldn¡¯t believe anything, so whenever I felt like I was dreaming, I looked at his letter again. ¡°I can¡¯t believe this is reality¡­¡­.¡± A horribly cracked voice popped out. When I remembered my future life without Toby, I suddenly became devastated. We only knew for half a year, and Toby had been away from the kingdom for nearly two months. Nevertheless, he seems to have been a quite large part of my life. Will it be natural? Tobias was the first person to let me know what it felt like to be loved by the opposite gender. He made me aware of the world of a real lady, who was still childish even after reaching my adulthood. Will there ever be another man in this world who can take care of my flaws with that kindness and warmth? Maybe he approached me after finding out the darkness and loneliness I had. These thoughts constantly passed by. How did I treat Toby? For the shallow reason that my feelings are not at the same temperature as his, didn¡¯t I just keep him waiting, thinking of an unrequited love in vain? When I recalled the fact, my heart broke helplessly. My whole body trembled as if it were about to collapse. I felt like I was getting punished. ¡°Haa¡­¡± I just wanted to visit God and ask. Why it had to be so harsh on Toby, not anyone else. The details were not written down, but it must have been a terrible accident which made him unable to walk.¡­. My reality was that I couldn¡¯t take responsibility for Toby, who had to spend his entire life sitting down, with a single affection for me, and that made my heart even more sad. Of course, even if I had been able to take responsibility for him, he would have refused. Tobias Miller is such a person. Toby had an early admiration for the Leopolds, and he had the goal of joining the division by becoming a scholarship student they sponsored. His expression while talking about this is still vivid in my mind. However, there was still plenty of time left until the application deadline. There was nothing urgent, however, and one day, Toby had written the news of his sudden departure from the country. I vividly remember the complex emotions that mixed the despondency, joy, and loss I felt that day as if it were yesterday. ¡°He said that leaving right away is the starting condition.¡­.¡± When he was suddenly selected as a scholarship student at a time when the recruitment did not even begin, it was true that I thought it was strange. In the end, however, I didn¡¯t question it, because I saw that Toby was an outstanding talent. Even though I knew it was useless, I was immersed in meaningless ideas. If Toby had not suddenly been selected as a scholarship student. If he hadn¡¯t gone to the Principality, he wouldn¡¯t have had to face such a tragedy. ¡°¡­¡­wait.¡± At that moment, an eerie feeling touched my neck and passed by. I snatched the letter lying on the floor. ¡°The word involved is usually¡­¡­¡­.¡± At the moment, I was terrified as if I had witnessed something very frightening. ¡°It is used when an accident is caused by an external force.¡± I felt as if the pieces of the puzzle scattered in my head were frantically coming together. The Leopold family did something unusual for them by advancing the selection schedule without notice. After that, Tobias belonged to the Leopold family and was under them. ¡°And¡­ the stalker who looks like Alan Leopold.¡± He once sent a threatening letter with the intention of separating Toby and me. He even heard all about Toby¡¯s admiration for Alan and his aim for Leopold¡¯s scholarship at the Antris Coffee Shop, where the owner of the coffee shop¡­¡­. ¡°¡­¡­Your winter?¡± I was dazed as if I had been hit hard on the head. It felt like my feet were collapsing. Would it feel like this if I was trapped alone in the dark darkness that I couldn¡¯t even fathom? My eyes dimmed by the shock. ¡°Alan Leopold¡­¡­.¡± He was my stalker. The man who holds my heart however he wants, like a winter night in the north is my¡­¡­. ¡°It must be crazy, it¡¯s crazy. Without going crazy, this will never happen unless I am¡­¡­.¡± I¡¯d rather be crazy How Alan, who had never even looked at me for nearly a decade, began to cast a black shadow on me, who must have not even known my existence. If it was really because of my awkward love poem, the devil that ruined Tobias¡¯ dreams and life¡­¡­. ¡°¡­ It means it¡¯s me.¡± How can I handle this ridiculous reality? My suppressed tears burst out like a sigh. It didn¡¯t matter how Alan Leopold looked at me anymore. Only the guilt for Toby, the terrible hatred for him who scratched my daily life, and the myriad of times I spent loving and missing Alan endlessly remained alone. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± At that time, I suddenly remembered an afternoon when I suddenly bought a collection of love poems. That day, I met Alan Leopold like a dream in front of the bookstore. For the first time, I touched him, and for the first time, I shared the same air, and it was dyed in the red sunset And just a while ago, I ran into the stalker like a lie at the same time. The man had Alan Leopold¡¯s face and body, voice and scent. Therefore, at that moment, the emotion that overcame the confusion and fear and covered me seems to have been an instinctive ecstasy. Foolishly. In fact, I¡¯ve thought quite a lot that the stalker might be Alan. However, falling into daydreaming like a habit, I blamed myself, saying that a beautiful and noble person like him could not be a stalker. Even adding to the ridiculous imagination that he may be Alan¡¯s twin brother or Leopold¡¯s hidden illegitimate child. But now I had to accept it. Alan Leopold is crazy. Reasons or processes are no longer an issue. The problem is that he bought an old house across from my house, and that he has the power to stir up my surroundings at his will, and¡­¡­. ¡°¡­..That he, too, will be going to Lunoa soon.¡± In this situation, the only thing left is the conclusion that I should run away from him by all means. He said he wouldn¡¯t chase me anymore, but that doesn¡¯t mean he wouldn¡¯t harm me. Didn¡¯t he already destroy Tobias? ¡°Haaa¡­¡± There was a faint hope. According to Toby¡¯s last letter, all members of Leopold¡¯s new division, including Alan, will stay in the capital Lunos. And the academy I will go to was located far from the capital of Lunoa. Therefore, it will be safer after crossing the principality than now with him as a neighbor. Moreover, Leopold in the Principality would not have as much influence as here in the Sorne Kingdom. I¡¯ve already given him so many years. So I can¡¯t let him ruin the rest of my life. My crazy winter. I will run away from you with all my might. Chapter 48 - Off To Arch Hill Chapter 48: Off To Arch Hill ¡°Mom.¡± When the evening was almost over, I knocked on my mother¡¯s door with my swollen eyes. ¡°I have something to tell you.¡± Somehow, my mother opened the door with an anxious look. It was already dark outside, and the room that was covered with curtains was dark. ¡°What happened?¡± I suddenly felt like I saw a tear mark on my mother¡¯s cheek. However, I was not sure. ¡°Mom, I¡ª¡± ¡°Come on in.¡± My mother, who grabbed my arm, closed the door. Soon after, when the candle was lit with a match, a faint light spread across the simple interior. We sat side by side on the bed. ¡°About studying abroad?¡± As she asked, my mother swept her face with her dry hands. Then I thought that maybe my mother was really crying. ¡°¡­..Yes.¡± ¡°Why? Do you need anything?¡± My mother asked in a low voice. But I didn¡¯t come to beg for a little more pocket money, so I shook my head quickly. ¡°Did you send a letter to the great-aunt?¡± ¡°No, not yet. Why?¡± ¡°I want to go to my great-aunt¡¯s house, mom.¡± Perhaps it was unexpected, but my mother looked at my eyes for a moment. ¡°¡­ before you go, would you like to see her?¡± My great-aunt lives in Arch Hill, located in the southeast of the kingdom. It seems that she is still called the Viscountess even now, when the line between nobles and commoners is almost blurred. (T/N: Melissa¡¯s grandmother is her father¡¯s aunt, so she¡¯s actually her great-aunt) There was no actual exchange between us because I was a distant relative, but I was left at her house for a while when I was young. I don¡¯t know the details, but there must have been unavoidable circumstances because it was after my family had weakened sharply. It was only a few weeks, but I still remember her being strict and warm. The last time I saw her was a few years ago when she came to the capital. Great-aunt gave me the hat that I still wear to this day, saying that a lady should have a decent hat, which is the hat I wore when I first met Toby, and now it is surrounded by a sky blue ribbon. ¡°I¡¯ve been living without exchanging anything for several years already¡­¡­.¡± My mother looked uncomfortable somewhere. ¡°She might be surprised if you suddenly visit her. Your father isn¡¯t here either.¡± ¡°Mom, I¡­ I want to stay there until I leave the kingdom. I¡¯m not going for a tour there.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± My mother chose aher words with a complex expression. There was a very brief silence in the quiet room where only silent candles gave light. ¡°Melissa, is your house uncomfortable?¡± ¡°N-no. Not at all¡­¡­.¡± I was taken aback when the story spun in an unintended direction, but I quickly crafted it like the Academy¡¯s chosen novelist. ¡°I¡¯m worried because it¡¯s my first time living in a foreign country across the sea. I can¡¯t just come visit for a weekend simply because I¡¯m tired.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°So, how about staying at my great aunt¡¯s house in Arch Hill and preparing my mind, Mom?¡± ¡°I know you are not the type to speak suddenly, but¡­¡­.¡± My mother was lost in thought for a moment. I impatiently clasped my finger and waited for her next words. ¡°But would she welcome you? Suddenly there is an unexpected guest.¡± I knew that my mother didn¡¯t like my great-aunt that much. Since childhood, my mother used to evaluate her as an arrogant old woman trapped in a house, and it was my father who took me to Arch Hill and brought me back. My mother didn¡¯t even accompany me. ¡°I used to spend a few weeks in Arch Hill when I was a kid.¡± ¡°Yes, your father¡­¡­ Whew.¡± ¡°At first, I had a hard time with my grandma, but she wasn¡¯t as difficult as I thought. Somehow, she looked lonely living with the servants in that spacious mansion.¡­.¡± ¡°You were young back then.¡± My mother continued in a pretty firm tone. ¡°I¡¯m sure she treated you well. It¡¯s easy to pretend to be a good adult for a child.¡± ¡°But I think she¡¯ll welcome me. It¡¯s been a while since I¡¯ve seen her, so I¡¯m a little nervous.¡± My mother let out a low sigh. ¡°If so, you should write a letter. I don¡¯t know if she¡¯ll gladly say it¡¯s okay.¡± ¡°Okay, mom. I should send it tomorrow.¡± ¡°¡­yes.¡± Is it just me? Somehow the mother¡¯s eyes looked like those of the person who had something to say. The eyes shone exceptionally lonely on her skinny cheeks. I wondered if now was the time for me to ask why she didn¡¯t like my aunt, but somehow I didn¡¯t have courage and stopped myself. ¡°Melissa.¡± At that moment, my mother opened her mouth. ¡°Why did you cry yesterday?¡± ¡°Ah¡­¡± Neither Mrs. Kerney nor Julia has asked about it yet. I didn¡¯t think my mother wouldn¡¯t know, but I was embarrassed because there was no answer I had in mind. Because my mother liked Toby¡­¡­. My mother had greater confidence than me, the person involved, that Toby and I would become lovers and naturally form a relationship. ¡°I heard it was a letter from Lunoa.¡± ¡°That¡­¡± ¡°Why? Did he say he had a lover in the Principality?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± I had no intention of telling Collins¡¯ ladies about the whole story of the stalker disturbance surrounding me and the fact that he was Alan Leopold. As long as I was able to wrap up this situation neatly I didn¡¯t need to cause more undue stress by telling every single thing plus I wasn¡¯t the type to talk so much. Therefore, I thought I would do the same and not tell my mom about Tobias¡¯ bad news, but I changed my mind when I saw my mother¡¯s face. If I don¡¯t write about Toby in the letter that I will send to my home while studying abroad, it will eventually become clear that he and I are no longer in a relationship. Wouldn¡¯t it be better to tell her now than to go and disappoint her then? ¡°Mom, Tobias is coming back to the kingdom.¡± ¡°Why? Didn¡¯t you say he¡¯d help in running Leopold¡¯s business?¡± ¡°That¡­¡± Of course, it was not easy to tell his story casually. ¡°I think there¡¯s a health problem.¡± ¡°Oh no. But he¡¯s still young, so wouldn¡¯t it be better after a good rest in his hometown?¡± ¡°No, mom¡­¡­.¡± When I remembered the person who shattered Toby¡¯s life, I felt like my whole body was cooling down. For Alan Leopold, the sadness of ordinary people like me and Tobias¡­¡­ It wouldn¡¯t mean anything. ¡°¡­¡­it must be a little serious.¡± ¡°Oh, my. Suddenly?¡± The mother, who covered her mouth, could not easily continue her words. Fortunately, no words like ¡®what are you going to do about your marriage?¡¯ came out of my mother¡¯s mouth. Immediately after I heard the news, I thought for a while about whether to lie that I was okay now or to reassure my mother by saying that I will study hard in Lunoa and become a great writer. ¡°Mom, I¡­¡­.¡± At that moment, the living room suddenly became busy, and we could easily see that Mrs. Kerney and Julia began to set up dinner tables. ¡°¡­..I¡¯ll help them prepare dinner.¡± ¡°Okay, let¡¯s go out together.¡± * * * My great-aunt¡¯s reply surprisingly arrived three days later. This much was like writing down a reply right after receiving the letter I sent. The letter was quite sincere. On the day I received the letter, I packed my luggage immediately. Now there is less than a month and a half before I leave for Lunoa. ¡°Lady.¡± Julia, who was organizing luggage together in my room, implicitly called me. ¡°That dress. You¡¯re going to take it, right?¡± ¡°Dress? From Longhorn?¡± ¡°Yes.¡± I was lost in thought for a moment. ¡°Well¡­¡± If I go to the academy, there will definitely be an annual event like a prom, and festivals will be held in the kingdom during the social season, right? So, a dress will be absolutely necessary, and the velvet dress Longhorn sent me is the most expensive and luxurious thing among the few dresses I own. But ¡°¡­I won¡¯t take it.¡± ¡°What? Why? If I were a girl, I would have been the first one to take it!¡± Surprised, Julia jumped. I answered calmly. ¡°I¡¯m not going to socialize, Julia.¡± ¡°B-But¡­¡­ There must be times when you need a dress, right?¡± ¡°I think it¡¯s better to take only one simple dress.¡± Julia looked at me with her eyes, saying, ¡®No way that old dress?¡¯ Well, except for the one that Longhorn sent me, everything is old and outdated. When I remembered hearing the word rags at the victory ceremony, I burst into laughter. ¡°I want to be myself in the principality.¡± [¡°I don¡¯t want to lose myself and pretend I am something I am not¡ªor change¡±] is the general gist of what she is saying ¡°¡­¡­.¡± I continued to speak by tapping the tip of Julia¡¯s nose, who had a blank face. ¡°I¡¯m going to study literature. So I have to be authentic.¡± ¡°Hmm¡­ I don¡¯t know, but wouldn¡¯t you want to enter society at least where Mrs. Collins and Mrs. Kerney aren¡¯t around, right?¡± You don¡¯t like it. When Julia touched my hair and added in a small voice, I burst into laughter without resistance. I got caught. ¡°Will you keep it a secret?¡± ¡°Yes, I will.¡± Julia¡¯s sad eyes blinked. ¡°That dress, I¡¯ll lend it to you. Think it¡¯s yours while I¡¯m away.¡± ¡°¡­.M- mine, is it mine?¡± Her blank expression that quickly grew into a wide-eyed stunned face was so cute. I would like to give rather than lend, but my study abroad days will be over soon. After studying abroad and returning to the kingdom, there may be good things that require me to wear a fancy dress. I answered with a bright smile, hoping that it would really happen. ¡°Yes.¡± *** T/N: Melissa addresses her great-aunt as grandma, in an affectionate way Chapter 49 - Thank you for Stopping By Chapter 49: Thank you for Stopping By Two days before I left for Arch Hill, I left the house after a long time. It rained all day yesterday, and I was going to spend the whole day with my family tomorrow, so today was the perfect day. Oh, I¡¯m not going to Piccom. After much deliberation, I decided to greet Viola through a letter. Just because we didn¡¯t see each other for two years didn¡¯t mean we¡¯d become distant, and I didn¡¯t want our hearts to weaken before studying abroad. The moment we meet face to face, it is sure to become a sea of ??tears. But there was a real reason why I decided not to go to Piccom was because of the crazy Alan Leopold. I was afraid because I wasn¡¯t sure that he wouldn¡¯t touch Viola, who had harmed Tobias relentlessly. Viola is probably having a tough daily life. She will still miss everything about Florin, and even if she loves Jacob¡¯s child, she couldn¡¯t be comfortable taking care of him. Maybe I¡¯m looking at it too negatively, but¡­¡­. ¡°It¡¯s been a while since you came, Miss.¡± ¡°Oh, hello.¡± The place I visited was none other than the Antris coffee shop. ¡°It¡¯s been a while.¡± Regardless of who purchased Antris, one fact remains unchanged, that this is one of my favourite places and a special place that inspire me to write my novel And I wanted to say hello to the server, who has always been polite and kind. As a busy service employee it is not easy to show sincerity to others. I didn¡¯t want to be a mysterious guest who didn¡¯t show up for two years without saying anything to him, who always treated me with sincerity. ¡°It¡¯s espresso without sugar, right? If your preference hasn¡¯t changed yet.¡± The server leaned a bit and asked with a polite smile. His soft blonde hair was neatly combed today as well. Somehow, I felt at ease. ¡°Yes, it¡¯s still the same.¡± The server that received the order politely withdrew. It¡¯s kind of quiet today. I took a deep breath as I listened to the soft piano playing. As if celebrating the end of winter, the interior of the Antris was again decorated with various flowers. Nevertheless, there was no smell of him. At one point because he was always so close I confused his scent with the scent of this place itself. I don¡¯t know if it¡¯s true that he is not going to chase me, but at least I¡¯m relieved that I can¡¯t smell that misty scent. Come to think of it, there was a day when I was mesmerized by the thick snow falling over the window from here. It was already spring outside. Sitting in the same seat as that day and looking out the window with the same expression, nothing has changed, but the season has already passed this much. What a strange thing. At that time, the server approached and put down a white cup in front of me. ¡°Oh, thank you.¡± I was thinking about how to start the conversation, but the server talked to me first. ¡°Are you okay now?¡± ¡°What?¡± When asked again, the server lowered his voice and added. ¡°What you said last time¡­¡­. I¡¯ve been worried because you haven¡¯t been here for months.¡± ¡°Oh¡­¡± He is asking about the stalking commotion. A clear concern was visible in his eyes. I repeatedly thought that I was glad to come to see him after hearing those kind words. ¡°Well, I know who he is.¡± ¡°¡­¡­What do you mean? Did he appear in person or something like that?¡± ¡°Sort of. Because he made it impossible not to know who he is.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Maybe I just found out too late.¡± As I added in a small voice, his neat golden eyebrows faltered in doubt. This may be because I am passing this off as not a big deal when the contents were grave ¡°But it¡¯s okay. I¡¯m leaving for a far away place.¡­. Actually, I came here to say this.¡± ¡°If you say it¡¯s far away..¡­.¡± ¡°Did you know that I sometimes write here?¡± The server just stood silently with the tray behind his back, but his eyes sent a silent affirmation. ¡°Well, thanks to the novel, I will be able to study abroad. With the support of the royal family.¡± ¡°That was the case¡­. Congratulations, Miss.¡± His pale gray eyes gleamed in surprise. He added implicitly. ¡°If it¡¯s a novel, will you go to Lunoa?¡± ¡°Yes, that is correct.¡± It is a country of great writers. I smiled faintly. Then he opened his eyes. ¡°As expected, I see. I¡¯m from the Principality¡± ¡°Ah!¡± No wonder he was strangely exotic! Was that why he was looking closely at what I was writing? The people of Lunoa are well versed in literature. The server continued as I naturally made a face of expectation. ¡°Ah, I¡¯m a Lunoan, but I don¡¯t know much about literature. Although my father was a poet. Anyways, it¡¯s a pity that you¡¯re leaving.¡± ¡°It¡¯s only two years, right? Won¡¯t it pass soon?¡± ¡°Even after your studies are over, you will want to stay at Lunoa, Miss.¡± I laughed out loud at his proud face. ¡°When are you leaving?¡± ¡°It will take a month to get on the ship to the Principality. But the day I leave Florin¡­¡­¡­ Ah.¡± I suddenly stopped talking. ¡°The owner of this place..¡­ is he here again today?¡± ¡°Are you talking about Sir Alan?¡± The server could have been embarrassed by the sudden change of subject, but perhaps he was use to people asking and he gently shook his head. ¡°He seems to be very busy these days. It¡¯s already been a while since he stopped by.¡± ¡°¡­Is that so?¡± I continued to speak in an indescribable tone of relief that I couldn¡¯t hide. ¡°I¡¯m leaving for another region soon. So that I can get used to staying alone in the Principality.¡± ¡°Indeed.¡± Instead of asking which area I was leaving for and when it was, he looked down. The golden eyelashes fell neatly. ¡°Thank you for coming to say hello. If I hadn¡¯t heard from you today, I would have been worried.¡± ¡°I-it was no bother. Of course.¡± ¡°I wish you all the best for your mini trip and starting your life in the Principality, Miss.¡± You¡¯ll do well. His small whisper made me blush and lower my head at the same time. ¡°The coffee is cold. I¡¯ll bring back¡ª¡± ¡°Oh, no! It¡¯s okay. Thank you for your kind words.¡± The server smiled at me with a gentle smile. ¡°If you come back in two years, I¡¯ll greet you in Lunoar language.¡± * * * My luggage was simple. The suitcase was filled with simple clothes, two books, a notebook, and writing equipment, so it was no big deal. Of course, it wouldn¡¯t change much even if the bag was bigger. For me who was leaving early in the morning, breakfast was prepared a little earlier than usual. ¡°Lady, lady.¡± Thanks to Julia¡¯s efforts the Collins¡¯ breakfast table was graced by beautiful blooming flowers. ¡°Isn¡¯t it amazing that you don¡¯t get tired of eating potatoes every day?¡± ¡°¡­..I know.¡± As usual, there were small conversations, and the meal tasted nostalgic. When I opened my eyes in the morning, I thought I couldn¡¯t believe I was leaving the house, but I think I was already missing everything in the red two-story house. When the carriage arrived soon after, I put down my luggage for a moment and hugged Julia and Mrs. Kerney in turn. The two burst into tears like children, while I playful scolded as the tip of my nose soured. (T/N: meaning she was about to cry too) ¡°Melissa.¡± Soon after, my mother, who approached me with a pale face, caressed my shoulder. ¡°Be careful, Melissa. Always be careful¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Yes, mom. I will.¡± ¡°If your life is difficult or you have a problem, don¡¯t get sick and contact me anytime. Did you get it? ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°We don¡¯t have enough money, but if it¡¯s for the sake of our one and only daughter¡ª¡± I hugged my mother tightly. I promised not to shed tears, but if this continues, all the plans will be ruined. ¡°I¡¯ll write to you, mom.¡± ¡°Yes. To your great-aunt..¡­ Say thank you.¡± I parted ways with my family like this. It felt surreal our parting was calmer than expected. When I got on the carriage, I was overcome with all kinds of emotions along with the tears I had been holding back. I am well aware that these years are not very long. If I study my favourite subjects, I will pass in a blink of an eye. But why do I feel like I can¡¯t come back home again for some reason? Because it¡¯s my first time leaving the kingdom? ¡°¡­¡­.¡± I was very tired from staying up all night with my eyes open, but I tried hard not to fall asleep, wiping away the tears that were coming out of my eyelashes. I had to pull myself together. It¡¯s none other than me who chose a difficult journey of changing carriages three times out of anxiety. * * * The carriage ran fast on the rough dirt road. How long did I endure the times when my eyes were stiff and my hips hurt? It was almost midnight, when I arrived at Arch Hill, covered in darkness. When I got off the carriage with the horseman¡¯s escort, the mansion overlooking me in the bluish darkness looked much bigger and colder than what I remembered. A middle-aged woman with a lamp was clearly seen approaching this way despite the extreme fatigue. It was my first time seeing this face. ¡°H-hello, I was looking for Melly, ah, my great-aunt¡­¡­ ¡°The Viscountess is already in bed. I have prepared your room, so please come with me.¡± The maid took the lead with a face of dissatisfaction due to my late visit, and I followed with an impeccable body. The bag felt heavy like a rock. If I had brought a few more books, I would have collapsed even before entering the mansion. The room I was guided to was very large, it had an antique bed and an old desk. ¡°It¡¯s late at night, so please greet her tomorrow morning. Then.¡± ¡°Excuse me¡­..!¡± Bang, the door closed and I was left alone in the pitch darkness. It felt absurd. I had to unpack, but I couldn¡¯t decide what to do in this darkness. ¡°Don¡¯t I have to change these dirty clothes¡­.¡± I was tired as if I was going to faint, and this situation was just awkward but I relied on the afterimage in the room and fumbled carefully on the desk. When I managed to find matches and candles and light them, a weak light burned. The moment I opened the bag with great relief, as if all my troubles were blown away. It was too clear to say I was hallucinating because of my exhaustion. The scent that wafted in the room is definitely Alan Leopold¡¯s¡­¡­. ¡°How¡­..?¡± An uncontrollable fear quickly hit me as if tens of thousands of bugs were crawling on my skin and attacking me When I was frozen without even screaming in a feeling of losing my mind, a small note on the pile of clothes caught my eye. ¡°Oh¡­¡± I had a hunch. I¡¯m going to suffer from a terrible nightmare tonight. Chapter 50 - Lewd Dream Chapter 50: Lewd Dream The night was as cold as winter, although the whole world was obviously covered with spring. Alan¡¯s skin shone as cool as the moon even in the dark. I couldn¡¯t feel any warmth in his arms that hugged me. When his cheeks, which had already been chilled, touched me, my eyelashes trembled like butterflies wet in the rain. It wasn¡¯t clear whether it was because of the cold touch or because his drowsy voice was heard from a very close distance. Because I wouldn¡¯t be able to think properly if I were to be hugged by him. ¡°Melissa.¡± If there is really a devil that seduces humans and leads them to ruin, he will be beautiful enough to captivate anyone at once. And I¡¯m sure the devil would have a voice like this. I was too weak to resist this ecstatic voice. ¡°Melissa.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Alan repeatedly called my name. My hatred towards him, who was acting like an old lover, was causing indescribable anger, but my heart was beating as if it were about to explode. I¡¯ve loved Alan Leopold for too long to be sure that my heart was pounding because of my anger against him¡­¡­. ¡°You should hug my waist.¡± I was wrapped in his tight arms and not strangled, but for some reason I couldn¡¯t say anything. It was clear that he was doing something magical. Unless¡­¡­. ¡°You said a writer should be sincere, Melissa.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Alan sighed as if he was laughing at me, who was frozen without answering. His feathery breath tickled my nervous neck. ¡°Are you afraid?¡± His whisper mixed with laughter, he gently pushed my body, and the world quickly turned upside down. What I felt behind my back was the soft touch of the bed. I looked up at him with wet eyes mixed with intense anticipation that I couldn¡¯t hide, as if frightened by what was to come. ¡°Hik¡­¡± Then I had to hold my breath helplessly. The blue-gray gaze that looked down at me was strangely dark and seductive. Like the deep sea that makes you feel infinite fear just by looking at it because you can¡¯t measure its depth. While my tears were flowing down the corners of my eyes wetting my ears, he slowly leaned down, covering me with his shadow. It was a perfect encroachment. ¡°Do whatever you want.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I¡¯ll give you everything. As much as you want¡­¡­.¡± Finally, when I closed my eyes, his petal-like lips fell on my eyelids. Ironically, my stubborn reason shook as if it would collapse at any moment by the small wet sound created by his lips wiping away my tears. ¡°I¡¯ve been dreaming of you countless times, umm?¡± A honey-like whisper permeated my ears. I just bit my lips with the desire to vomit from deep inside my stomach. I wanted to grab Alan, who makes me helpless against him, by the collar. I wanted to spit out terrible swear words about his incomprehensible misdeeds and roughly scratch his angel-like cheek. I wanted to see him lie down and beg me. At the same time, the low desire to follow his words as if I couldn¡¯t win rose uncontrollably. I desperately wanted him. Everything up to his beautiful hair. My weak two legs were trembling because I wanted to tie him deeply at the moment. I managed a single word, from a suppressed moan. ¡°I wish¡­¡­¡± ¡°You don¡¯t have to hold back (your voice), Melissa.¡± (T/N: he is referring to her moan and her guilt) His low laughter was just as faint as fog. Alan whispered slowly, overlapping my lips. ¡°It¡¯s a dream anyway.¡± * * * Knock, knock A sharp knock echoed over the open door. ¡°Change your clothes and come out.¡± A woman¡¯s voice rang in my ear. I opened my eyes, hugging the blanket. Oh, I came to Arch Hill last night.¡­. When I rubbed my eyes because of my blurry vision, I saw a maid looking down at me with a displeased face. Her expression was no different from yesterday. The bustling noises of the mansion, signaling the start of the day, poured in through the open door. ¡°Come along now. Viscountess Josephine is waiting for you.¡± ¡°¡­..Yes.¡± I answered gently with my shoulders curled up. As a guest, I can¡¯t express my dissatisfaction with the attitude of the servants here. I yawned a little and got up quietly. But as soon as I got out of bed, I suddenly felt a chill. This was because my pyjamas became cold and soggy from the cold sweat I shed last night. Evidently I had a nightmare I can¡¯t recall.¡­. At that time, the maid tried to turn around and asked with a strange look. ¡°¡­¡­What kind of scent is this?¡± At those words, I realized that the scent that Julia had sprinkled on my clothes was still wafting in the air. It was then that the events of last night¡¯s dream came to mind vividly. My morning already became unpleasant. ¡°Ah¡­¡± Alan Leopold has appeared in my dream several times. Alan in my dream created by my imagination hugged me enthusiastically and kissed me on the cheek. But still¡­¡­. ¡®I¡¯ll give you everything. As much as you want¡­¡­.¡¯ That person then¡­¡­ I can¡¯t believe I even had a dream. The sense of immorality that ran down my spine loosened my legs as if I was about to collapse at any moment. ¡°Wait, your face is red. Are you okay?¡± The middle-aged maid, who has consistently revealed her displeasure, suddenly became concerned and touched my forehead. ¡°No, I don¡¯t think it¡¯s a fever¡­.¡± It was not a very friendly touch, but it was not difficult to read worries from her eyes. ¡°What¡¯s wrong with you? Oh my god, look at these goosebumps!¡± But I wasn¡¯t sick. It¡¯s just that things from my dreams were repeating in my head last night. His lips had started from the top of my foot and traveled up to the tip of my nose bridge. His brow furrowed as he fiercely pushed me down. How sweet it was when I drank in his breath as he breathed heavily. Although I felt the same way and enjoyed it I couldn¡¯t help but remain passive and shy in the face of his passion and couldn¡¯t manage to go further. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± I rather wanted to disappear like this. Even after going through all the events, I still wanted him enthusiastically¡­¡­ I felt like I was about to suffocate with that heavy sense of shame. ¡°Are you listening?¡± ¡°I-I¡¯m fine. I had a bit of a nightmare.¡­.¡± The maid hurriedly checked my complexion to see if I looked okay at first glance. Her eyebrows were furrowed to the fullest, but it was true that the atmosphere had softened, so I had the courage to ask. ¡°I, maybe¡­.¡± ¡°What¡¯s wrong with you?¡± ¡°Is it okay if I wash myself before I go to breakfast? I sweated a little last night.¡­.¡± The maid folded her arms over the white apron and looked over me. ¡°I¡­! It won¡¯t take long. Please.¡± An urgent voice popped out. From what I heard, it was similar to begging. The woman looked displeased at me as if she were seeing someone foolish and said, ¡°Follow me.¡± I walked along the long hallway with her. Busy servants passing greeted each other with eye greetings but I didn¡¯t recognize anyone. Eventually, I turned my attention to the frames in the hallway and the paintings on the ceiling. Last night was so hectic that I couldn¡¯t take a good look at every corner of the mansion, but it was only clear that this old mansion still retains its elegance. The floor makes a creaking noise every time I take a step, but the mansion is so profound that even that sound feels old-fashioned. Suddenly, I remembered the excitement I had when I first came here. Even though nearly a decade has already passed, it is quite vivid. ¡°Excuse me¡­¡­¡± ¡°You can call me Mrs. Hugh. I¡¯m the head maid here.¡± Embarrassingly, a hard answer came back quickly. I licked my lips awkwardly as I looked at the back of her grey hair that was neatly curled up. ¡°Oh, my name is Melissa Collins. My father¡¯s aunt, no, he is the niece of the Viscountess Josephine.¡± ¡°I know.¡± ¡°I¡¯m sorry I arrived too late yesterday. I wonder if I woke you up¡­¡­.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Seeing that there was no answer, it seemed clear that I was an uninvited guest who disturbed Mrs. Hugh¡¯s sleep last night. If I had run straight with a carriage, it wouldn¡¯t have been delayed that much. I was also struggling to come to Arch Hill by changing carriages several times. But even if I could turn back time, that¡¯s the only way for me. Because I don¡¯t want the cold blue-gray gaze to follow me to the mansion of my great aunt who welcomed me. Nothing could be more painful than that. ¡°Well, How many people are working in this mansion? As far as I remember, it was thirty,¡± ¡°All of them are eight.¡± ¡°¡­..Eight?¡± ¡°The Viscount is getting old, so she is slowly organizing her surroundings. Maybe next year it will be even less.¡± Mrs. Hugh¡¯s words somehow stung my heart. As I was licking my lips, unable to find the right words to answer, the woman who stood tall spoke, ¡°Here¡¯s the bathroom. If you need a child to help you,¡± ¡°Oh, no! I¡¯ll just wash my body and go out. I remember where the dining room was.¡± ¡°Then I¡¯ll put your clothes here.¡± ¡°Thank you.¡± Nervous at the thought that my aunt was waiting, I hurriedly took off my pyjamas as soon as I closed the door. There was a circular wooden bathtub in the bathroom, and although it was filled with bath water, it was not heated at all, so it was cold as ice. ¡°¡­¡­I can¡¯t help it.¡± I quickly wiped my body with a dry cloth soaked in the bathtub water. I wanted to wash away last night¡¯s dreams in a hot bubble bath.¡­. With that in mind, I gently wiped my back with a cold cloth, then suddenly stopped my hand. This cold and rusty texture rather reminded me of someone¡¯s touch. I¡¯m sure it¡¯s an illusion that my skin smells like his scent, but¡­¡­. ¡°What¡¯s wrong with me¡­..¡± I became absent-minded as if I had forgotten how to think. The cool, smooth feeling of skin felt when he and I were completely covered. I held my breath as the sense that I was continuing to be embraced in his arms over and over again. It came back so clearly that it was hard to believe it was a dream. ¡®I¡¯ve been dreaming of you countless times. Umm?¡¯ ¡°¡­¡­.¡± I felt that my face was burning up as if it would explode at any moment. I was enduring the suffering silently. No matter how hard I tried to bit my lips or closed my eyes, I couldn¡¯t shake off his persistent gaze and low whisper. How on earth am I going to face my aunt¡­. ¡°I don¡¯t know.¡± When my murmuring disappeared with a small echo, I held my breath with a determined face. Soon after, the tip of my toes, which had been hesitating for a while in the air, dug into the icy water. *** P/R: haha i don¡¯t think it¡¯s just sweat Chapter 51 - Don’t Trust Men Chapter 51 : Don¡¯t Trust Men My great-aunt was sitting in front of the table with an upright posture that was unbelievable for her age. She kept the rigor and stubbornness characteristic of a noble woman. This led to the illusion that she was not much different from what I saw in the capital a few years ago, but it didn¡¯t actually take long to notice how small and fragile the old lady became over the years. Nevertheless, it was fortunate that I didn¡¯t feel just sad. Dressed in her dark, well-groomed dress, her appearance was the same as every moment of her that I remember, and that fact gave me a warm sense of relief. ¡°Melissa Collins¡± My great-aunt called me when she noticed the presence coming over her small glasses. With a voice that is more solemn than happy. However, her eyes that showed her age had gleamed with a gentle light. ¡°You already look like a lady.¡± ¡°Grandma!¡± My worries that the reunion after many years might be awkward disappeared like snow melting, and before I knew it, I was back as a 12-year-old girl who met my great-aunt for the first time. ¡°It¡¯s been a really long time. Thank you for letting me stay in the mansion.¡­.¡± When I hugged her thin shoulders, my great-aunt paused for a moment as if she was bewildered, and gently stroked my back with her wrinkled hands. My breath was weak from the overwhelming smile. ¡°You¡¯re cold.¡± ¡°I¡¯m sorry I¡¯m late, grandma. You must have been hungry.¡­.¡± ¡°It¡¯s okay. Did you forget that I don¡¯t usually eat breakfast?¡± I stared blankly at the moment when her grandmother¡¯s cold face changed to a soft smile. Thinking that maybe I will remember this moment for a long time. Shortly thereafter, a simple breakfast was served. Sitting opposite to each other at the large table, my great-aunt and I enjoyed a leisurely tea time and talked about the past. For example, it was like this. ¡°You were so weird when you were young, remember?¡± ¡°Ah¡­¡± ¡°How much Jeremy complained that his daughter suddenly had a lot of fantasies when he left you here.¡± As I spread a lot of cream on the fragrant scones, I answered, pretending to be surprised. ¡°Did my dad say that?¡± Of course, it is not at all surprising that my parents were deeply concerned at that time. Because it was not long after I came to this world. ¡°It¡¯s just amazing to think about you chattering about Whitewood for a long time. Later, I asked in a letter, and Jeremy said you had never been to Whitewood.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Since then, I knew you were a special girl.¡± Whitewood is the name of a remote forest village at the northern end of the kingdom, and is the background for , the world¡¯s original novel¡ª now even the content is blurry¡ª of course, that place has no relationship with Melissa Collins. Watching the sweet churned cream melt over the freshly baked scones made me hungry. I took the scone to my mouth and responded innocently. ¡°Has grandma ever been to Whitewood?¡± At that moment, my great-aunt suddenly stopped moving. With a puzzled look on my face, I stopped my hand and waited for her answer. To my great-aunt¡¯s response, I deeply regretted my carelessness. ¡°I lived there all the time until my daughter died of illness.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Why had I completely forgotten that my grandfather took care of Whitewood during his lifetime? I belatedly recalled the childhood memories when I heard about it from her mother and rejoiced at the thought of being connected, at least vaguely, with the original novel. Now, I started to focus on my life itself, not on the original novel, but¡­.. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, grandma.¡± ¡°There¡¯s nothing to apologize for.¡± A plain answer came back. Unlike her calm expression, her eyes looked sad. she then added: ¡°The only thing that makes me sad is that my husband and Helen will not recognize me as I am old. Now, the day we meet is really close.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± The more we talked, the more different my aunt¡¯s appearance in my memory was. I don¡¯t know if my grandmother has changed over the years or if I have. The more we talked, the more my great-aunt looked different from the upright figure in my memory. I don¡¯t know if she has changed over the years, or if I have changed. Unlike me, who couldn¡¯t find a word to answer, my great-aunt, who was gracefully tilting the tea cup, opened her mouth as soon as she put down the cup. ¡°I remember you talking about Rose.¡± ¡°¡­Rose?¡± That was the name of the female protagonist in . I had even told my great-aunt the story of the protagonist. ¡°I was neighbors with her family. Helen and I were of the same age, so we were like friends. It¡¯s such a common name that I let it go at first, but when you recited all of her family details and characteristics¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Did I do that?¡± ¡°Yeah, thanks to that time, I thought of Helen after a very long time. Your heart for your dead daughter, who was hidden like a taboo, opened wide as you heard the story of Whitewood.¡± Grandmother had a sentimental face. It seems to recall a very long time ago. ¡°Wasn¡¯t I weird?¡± ¡°That was weird. I thought it was ridiculous. When asked where he heard of Whitewood and Rose, he answered that he read it from a book.¡± At that time, I probably couldn¡¯t accept life here as a full reality and was confused for a long time. ¡°I¡­ I don¡¯t remember well, auntie.¡± ¡°That¡¯s understandable.¡± She shrugged her shoulders. ¡°Maybe you had a dream. There¡¯s no way that a story that exists in reality shouldn¡¯t appear in your dream.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Even in the eyes of an old woman who is eighty years old, life is full of unknown things.¡± ¡°¡­¡­Isn¡¯t life something you get to know more and more as you live?¡± My great-aunt smiled quietly at my devastated question. ¡°Well, I¡¯ve lived this much, but I haven¡¯t. Rather, everything feels new and unfamiliar¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Grandma.¡± I asked half impulsively. ¡°What happened to Rose?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know.¡± But what came back was a futile answer. ¡°After Helen died of illness at such a young age, I left as if I was running away. Now that my husband has left and I am left alone, I will never go back there. Even if I die.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡­¡­Still, she¡¯s been fine so far. Our conversation had become a little serious. I was quietly listening to my great-aunt¡¯s life. ¡°Women are truly pitiful creatures. Don¡¯t you think so, Melissa?¡± I was feeling an unknown sympathy even though I wasn¡¯t sure exactly what my great-aunt meant by those words. But that wasn¡¯t the case with the following words. ¡°Especially poor women. Inevitably, they are destined to be unhappy.¡± ¡°¡­ Can I ask you why? I¡¯m poor, but I don¡¯t think I¡¯m unhappy.¡± ¡°Reason?¡± At my bold question, my great-aunt raised the corners of her lips. Of course, her eyes were not smiling. ¡°A woman always craves love, but a poor woman can never pursue love. That¡¯s why they are bound to be unhappy.¡± The only way for a poor woman who is rarely allowed to work to elevate her life is through marriage. When women pursue marriage for such a reason there is usually no love in it. I knew that, too. I heard nagging from my mother about marriage because I¡¯m not a rich woman. However, despite my young mind, I didn¡¯t want to take my great-aunt¡¯s words to heart right away. ¡°But I¡ª¡± ¡°You¡¯re still young. You¡¯ll understand once you know love.¡± ¡°It¡¯s been a year since I came of age too, Grandma.¡± When I saw my great-aunt laughing, I felt a little irritated. Childishly. ¡°Love¡­Something similar happened with two people.¡± ¡°Really? So, what happened to those two loves?¡± My great-aunt looked at me as if she could see me clearly. Instead of admitting, ¡°All failed, grandmother,¡± I just bit my lips tightly. I wanted to prove somehow that the failure of love does not mean failure as a poor woman. ¡°That¡¯s why your mother is unhappy, too.Doesn¡¯t she stare out of the window all day with blank eyes?¡± ¡°That¡­¡± ¡°Well, it¡¯s not easy to endure a harsh life.¡± My aunt let out a low sigh. I knew that her relationship with my mother was not very good, but my grandmother¡¯s words did not sound like criticism or ridicule. Rather¡­¡­ ¡°You shouldn¡¯t trust men, Melissa.¡± ¡­¡­However, this was a completely unexpected development. I put down the teacup, doubting my ears, because I didn¡¯t know I would hear this from my great-aunt. ¡°What?¡± ¡°Even if you are successful as a novelist and you are lucky enough to marry the one you love, you must never believe him. They are never a race that can be satisfied with just you.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Faith only hurts. As you know, me and your mother¡­¡­.¡± My great-aunt stopped talking with a slight cough. However, despite the sudden silence, my head was noisy. Is my mother¡¯s depression¡­¡­ Is it not just because my father was embroiled in a scam? ¡°Yeah, I understand that your mother doesn¡¯t like me, because I¡¯ve been holding my nephew¡¯s hand every moment. However.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°It¡¯s unfortunate that he joined the army, after living in such pain she urges her daughter, you, to marry as if you were to be sold¡­¡­.¡± The sound of her grandmother clicking her tongue softly was heard. I kept her mouth shut, thinking about two things. First, I think that there are many things that I don¡¯t know at home. My great-aunt seems to believe that I know all the stories, but it was clear that my mother and Mrs. Kerney intentionally hid the truth. The second thought was that if I were a little younger, I wouldn¡¯t have understood what my grandmother was saying. I know why my grandfather, who held the title of Viscount during his lifetime, had been separated from his wife for so many years. But my parents can¡¯t have such a problem. If it wasn¡¯t for the sudden change of my father¡¯s base, the two of them wouldn¡¯t have had to live apart. Affair, that¡¯s nonsense. But somehow I couldn¡¯t ask my great-aunt for details. My lips didn¡¯t move as if they were glued together. ¡­¡­Maybe I just don¡¯t want to face the truth. ¡°So, even after receiving your letter, I didn¡¯t expect you to come here.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°When I woke up in the morning, I was so surprised to hear that Jeremy¡¯s daughter really came.¡± Suddenly, my great-aunt made a strange voice. ¡°Okay, what did your mother say?¡± A faint sunlight fell on the old lady¡¯s face, where I could feel the texture of time. I came up with an answer without the slightest lie mixed in. ¡°She asked me to say thank you.¡± Chapter 52 - Is There a Flower Shop Nearby? Chapter 52: Is There a Flower Shop Nearby? ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? My daily life at Arch Hill was supremely peaceful. I didn¡¯t encounter my great-aunt as much as I thought. She spends most of her time in her room, and she often eats separately. The morning we greeted each other for the first time after returning here was probably the moment the two of us spent the most time together. I definitely brought my notebook, but I didn¡¯t write anything new. It was the first time I was in a situation where I didn¡¯t have a story I wanted to write in particular. The cause, presumably, is the emptiness that comes from sending my manuscript that I had been completely absorbed in for months to the academy. Perhaps it¡¯s because I learned the truth I wanted to turn a blind eye to through conversations with my great-aunt. It would be a lie if I weren¡¯t shocked by the fact that the ugliest form of love was lurking very close. The specific circumstances were unknown, but I didn¡¯t want to dig because I didn¡¯t want to be hurted. Will it be a big problem if I procrastinate a little longer? I¡¯ll leave the kingdom before long anyway, but even if I ignored it when I came back from my studies, would it still be an issue I¡¯d have to face? I really wanted to believe that. I also wanted to rely a little more on my mother¡¯s consideration for not telling me everything. Originally, I was not an admirer of love, but I believe that there are countless things in life that are of equal value. Coincidentally, however, the theme of the stories I write has always been love, and only love has made my pen move. This is an irony that I cannot understand myself. ¡­¡­¡­For these reasons, I was in shock and could not write a new story right away, but it was not the first time I couldn¡¯t write. One day when I become a writer, there will be many more things like this. That¡¯s why I decided not to be nervous. Time will eventually solve everything. Instead of writing, I spent most of my time reading books until the sun went down in the library where the smell of soggy paper wafted. Thanks to the sunny weather every day, I sometimes took a nap lying under the shade of trees in the garden. It was a leisurely day like a dream. In short, no one was disturbing me in this mansion. Every day at Arch Hill was surprisingly quiet and peaceful. I didn¡¯t even hear the sound of a carriage passing by. To be honest, life here fits me well like measured clothes. Especially when I think about how hard it was for me to be in a social world full of fake laughter, pretence, and stories I didn¡¯t want to hear. Madam Hue, who had been in this mansion for just four years, was also not as difficult as I thought. It was just a matter of my perspective that I thought she hated me. Well, with this clumsy eye, I had no doubts in Alan Leopold¡¯s twisted mind at all. I was deceived like a fool by his beauty and elegance¡­¡­. Anyway, Madam Hue is working hard both physically and mentally so that my life at Arch Hill is not uncomfortable. There is no such thing as having a small and affectionate conversation as I had with Mrs. Kearney, but I liked Madam Hue way nonetheless. Most importantly, life in Arch Hill, which I thought would be lonely and aloof, is extremely free and comfortable. For the first time I realized that I was a person who likes alone time. To exaggerate a little, I even felt like I had a completely new life. This blessed season, the sound of young birds singing from somewhere, and the fact that the dream of studying abroad is just a month away were unbearably overwhelming. It felt like a late spring had finally come to my life, after I had been huddling and trembling in the long cold winter. * * * It was one morning, a month before the day of departure for the principality Upon receiving a report on the preparation stage of the new business, Ian Leopold¡¯s secretary left the office, and Alan also wore his outerwear. The aide who was watching the scene looked embarrassed. ¡°You have visitors in the afternoon, but¡­¡­.¡± ¡°It won¡¯t take long. I¡¯m going to get some fresh air.¡± Alan, who left the office leaving a concise answer, hurriedly walked out the back door. Then, instead of getting into the carriage, he climbed on the back of his standing horse with its black mane waving. Skillfully running along the street, he passed several alleys where carriages could not pass. As he ran for a while, the surrounding landscape gradually changed. The place where the black horse arrived was a slum located on the outskirts. Even in the middle of the day, the dark and shady streets created a strange atmosphere. Alan didn¡¯t get off the horse. However, he stood at the entrance of the shabby village with a dignified posture. His appearance looked indescribably heterogeneous, but at the same time, he shone brilliantly like a jewel in the mud. A man approached Alan, who had his beautiful forehead distorted as if it was hard to even breathe here, and the man bowed his head. ¡°You¡¯re here.¡± The man had a terrible appearance who didn¡¯t even have proper clothes. Nevertheless, his shaggy physique and copper-colored skin full of scars made it clear that he was the de facto leader of the place. ¡°Report.¡± ¡°Nothing this time either. I¡¯m deeply ashamed (of myself).¡± Tsk, as Alan clicked his tongue, the man¡¯s head lowered deeper. ¡°Are you sure they¡¯re all looking for it?¡± ¡°Yes. We¡¯ve searched the entire kingdom including the convent and orphanage¡­¡­. I¡¯ll find another way soon. The possibility that he didn¡¯t go through the facility¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Ha.¡± The man stopped talking at Allen¡¯s cool laugh. ¡°Are you trying to say that I must have been mercilessly abandoned?¡± ¡°¡­¡­no. I was telling you that there may have been unavoidable circumstances.¡± The man urgently added. ¡°Sir, we¡¯re the eyes and ears of the street. I will search the whole kingdom and find the traces.¡± ¡°After a month, I will leave for the Duchy. A servant will come from now on.¡± ¡°All right. Please stay healthy.¡± Alan, who nodded with an expressionless face, suddenly raised his gaze and looked at the distant southern sky. The man couldn¡¯t help but admire the picturesque profile of his master¡¯s face as he looked up. He asked a little daze, ¡°¡­..Where are you going now, sir?¡± ¡°Ah.¡± A rare smile spread on a cold face like a plaster statue. Alan, who fixed the reins, asked back in a drowsy low tone. ¡°Is there a flower shop nearby?¡± * * * Then one day, the new book I found in the study was so interesting that I stayed up all night reading it. It was a romance novel about the love and farewell of aristocrats centuries ago, and it feels strange to imagine the atmosphere at the time when people often used their lives to prove the depth of love. In those old days, people literally risked their lives for love. It is clear that if I had woken up in the book, I would have been treated more unusually than I am now. Their love was too reckless, perhaps because of that, on the one hand, it feels unimaginably noble. It¡¯s a world where it¡¯s okay to be willing to give your life because of love. Throughout reading the book, I thought it was a dream-like story. The lovers in the book threw themselves away for love, but did not show any hesitation or regret. How big, deep, and irresistible love was. Somehow it¡¯s alien. My great-aunt, who entered the twilight years of her life, told me that I should not trust men, and sadly, I also agree with that, ¡°Miss Collins.¡± If love is so sacred¡­¡­ At least once¡­¡­. ¡°Miss Collins!¡± ¡°¡­..Gasp!¡± ¡°Did you fall asleep while holding a teacup?¡± At Madam Hue¡¯s absurd voice, I hurriedly put down the teacup. I almost dropped the steaming teacup. I felt a little dizzy when I imagined what could have happened. ¡°Well, I¡¯m sorry. Because I couldn¡¯t sleep at all last night¡­¡­.¡± ¡°You don¡¯t have to apologise to me. But you¡¯d better take a nap. Something bad could happen.¡± Madam Hue said in a unique blunt tone. I tried to nod and suddenly opened my mouth. It was because an idea suddenly crossed my mind. ¡°Now that I think about it, there was a lake on the way to the mansion¡­¡­.¡± Even though I knew that there was no malice in her blunt expression, I couldn¡¯t help but feel intimidated. ¡°¡­..I saw it from the carriage.¡± ¡°The lake¡¯s name is Dove.¡± ¡°I¡¯d like to go there for a while.¡± She looked at my complexion for a moment with a frown. ¡°It¡¯s dangerous to swim in that state. Unless you want to give up your life like this.¡± ¡°What? I¡ª¡± ¡°Moreover, there is no servant in this mansion to help with boating.¡± ¡°No, ma¡¯am! I don¡¯t even know how to swim. I just suddenly thought that I wanted to get some fresh air by the lake.¡± I¡¯m not even a child anymore. She¡¯s telling me to take precautions on the water, it¡¯s too much. She let out a resigned sigh. ¡°It¡¯s not too far.¡± Madam Hue turned toward the kitchen and hinted. ¡°I¡¯ll prepare a simple snack for you.¡± Chapter 53 - Lake Dove Chapter 53: Lake Dove ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? It was when the sun was high up in the sky when I left the mansion door. The sun was hot, but in the shade of my hat¡¯s brim, I looked happier than anyone else. The scenery along the way to the lake shimmered with dazzling colors, as if all hopes and expectations in the world were put together. As I walked through that landscape, I realized once again how amazing it is to be alive. ¡°I should have come out sooner.¡± Spring is such a season. Even in the midst of my haze, my steps were light, and my uncontrollable excitement flowed out with a hum. ¡°It can¡¯t get any better than this.¡± The wind made branches softly wave and the singing of the birds brushed past through my ears, and the scent of fresh grass densely soaked in the wind. In my hand was a basket which contained sandwiches, fruit and some wine. My heart was excited by the pleasant feeling of it¡¯s weight. When I arrived at the lake, I felt my whole body relaxing. ¡°Wow¡­ ¡° Spring is when everything comes alive while enjoying the blessings of the sun. In the middle of it, Lake Dove, which stretched out, reflected the golden sunshine was endlessly overflowing with brilliant gold. I was the only one who was enjoying this marvelous landscape, luxuriously. I sat with my back against a nearby rhododendron tree, staring at the golden waves that filled my vision for a long time. It was truly perfect peace. Later, when I realized the existence of a basket, I took out an apple. Feeling the refreshing breeze caressing my cheek, I cut down the bright red fruit, and the thick juice of the fruit moistened the tip of my nose. A fresh and sweet scent wafted slowly in the air. Next, the smell of moist soil and the fresh forest¡­¡­¡­. The afternoon was also bewitching. ¡°It would be perfect to read here.¡± I pondered several times whether I should go back to the mansion and bring the book. But I shook my head because my whole body was drowsy and heavy as wet cotton. As long as I stay here, I can come back as many times as I like, so there¡¯s no need to rush. I could come tomorrow as well. Nevertheless, I was eager to see the huge sunset over the expansive lake, so I thought that I would definitely bring a book next time. Time flies so fast when one reads a book. Before I know it, when I will raise my head, the sky and lake will be colored with a bright red sunset. ¡°It will be beautiful¡­..¡± As I imagined that moment, my heart tickled with overwhelming anticipation. Rather than feasting on a sandwich and wine, I laid my stomach on the soft meadow. Instead I feasted on the beauty of the scenery until I felt full. As I was getting full, I felt my drowsiness take over like I was going to be submerged in the waves of sleep at any moment. Didn¡¯t I fall asleep while holding the teacup in my hand this morning? ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Then I suddenly wanted to grab a pen. It¡¯s too early to start a new story, but I wanted to write about my current mood in my diary. I agree to some extent with the idea that moments are remembered as scents. At this moment, wouldn¡¯t it be remembered as the watery smell of water and the sweet scent of apples? When I thought about it, I could not help but laugh. Let¡¯s bring a book tomorrow. I¡¯ll be out at the same time as today. And at the end of the evening¡­¡­I will watch the red sunset melting over the reddish lake. without hesitation¡­¡­ without hesitation¡­¡­ * * * For some time I was walking along a foggy forest path. The cold fog was so thick that it was impossible to tell an inch ahead, and the dense trees above my head did not allow even a faint ray of light. Nevertheless, I took a step without hesitation. I was lost, but I didn¡¯t feel uneasy. An unknown sense of d¨¦j¨¤ vu guided me. Like I¡¯ve been here before. ¡°The fog¡­¡± As I reached the end of the dark road, the fog suddenly cleared up. What appeared in front of me was a garden surrounded by a fence made of high bars. The iron bars, with sharp tips rising like they were soaring through the sky, were wrapped in dense rose vines as if they were buried in it. I don¡¯t know who owns this garden, but it doesn¡¯t seem to be properly maintained. I even wonder if it¡¯s an abandoned place. Even so, the iron grates engraved with a graceful comb pattern were charred in some places, and the roses also seemed to be of wild species, not the species commonly seen in the kingdom. I had never seen a rose so richly colored and beautiful before. ¡°A secret rose garden hidden in the deep forest¡­..¡± It was clear that it had been a long time since people had stopped visiting. In such a secluded and deserted place, it would be difficult to come back since I stumble upon it by chance. After a moment of hesitation, I decided to go into the garden. It was hard to remember whether I was supposed to meet someone here or something else, but an unknown conviction led me to the narrow entrance. ¡°Hik,¡± In an instant, the cold night dew that had settled on the petals soaked into my shoulder like water. I shuddered like a startled bird. Starting with my movement, the countless deep red flowers that had bloomed flooded in like ripples, no, like huge waves. A dense, thick scent burst upon me like a cannon and swept me. It was as if they were welcoming or trying to enchant. As I entered the garden and the scent hit me, my legs relaxed as if I was drunk. I fought the sensation of my body melting and continued forward. Surprisingly, a larger garden appeared than I originally thought. It was a maze garden. A wall of wild roses filled my vision but¡­¡­. I shuddered a little at the extremely dramatic and enchanting sight. As I walked through the endless red labyrinth, and through the scent that was as fresh as lemon and suffocatingly cold and sensual, I obsessively held on to a certain dangerous and burdensome emotion. I didn¡¯t know if it was a burning desire or a desperate longing. Soon after, I suddenly froze. Of course, both my legs were tired, but not for that reason. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± A slender man was standing against the background of dark red flowers, blooming with their coveted petals wide open. It was as if he was buried among the blossoming flowers, yet he looked like he belonged there. On the way toward him, the petals that brushed me fluttered and fell down. The man¡¯s back, apparently aware of my presence, stopped without any movement. Can¡¯t you hear the sound of my dress rubbing against the leaves? Nevertheless, I suddenly thought it was okay as it was. It was because of his neat back hair, straight and broad shoulders, and the curves of his waist was as beautiful as a painting. It¡¯s good to have it engraved in my eyes, so I want to keep looking at it. But when he finally slowly turned his head to look at me. When those cold eyes like the winter sky caught my trembling gaze¡­¡­ I thought as I ran towards him without resisting. There is no masterpiece more beautiful than this. ¡°Melissa.¡± The moment I saw his lips, redder than roses, open like petals, I had an unbearable thirst. I was exhausted as if I had wandered through the distant desert day and night, and my throat was burned dry and it was as if full of sand. He was the spring I found. If I don¡¯t drink right away, I¡¯ll die in an instant. I rushed and jumped into his arms with blind longing. My trembling legs deeply wrapped around his hard body. As if not to miss him, my hands soaked in night dew grabbed his face in a hurry. His cheeks were wet, too. Ah, as I let out a low moan and slowly stroked the moon-like dazzling face with my thumb as our foreheads rested against each other. When a seductive man like a rose closed his eyes, I kissed him impulsively. He didn¡¯t shake me off. Perhaps he wanted me, too. No, even if it wasn¡¯t, he had no intention to stop. I licked his creamy soft lips and violently swallowed his softly intertwined tongue, a pleasant moan burst out. But no matter how much I drank his sweet breath, I was thirsty like crazy. The endless thirst made me impatient. If I could drink it all without leaving a single drop¡­¡­ Then this thirst seemed to end. But unfortunately I didn¡¯t know how to do it. I kissed the cold, noble eyelids and begged like a poor child. ¡°A little more¡­ a little more, please.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Instead of answering, he distorted the beautiful forehead. It was a strangely stoic face. As if the appearance of willingly accepting the tip of my tongue soaked with desire was all a lie. Now it was the limit. I whispered, biting his beautiful lips painlessly. You said you¡¯d give me whatever I want, Alan. ¡°Ah¡­!¡± Suddenly, a distant night sky covered in mist spread out behind him. The red petals that filled the floor were crushed under my wing bones, giving off a strong scent. The moment I met Alan¡¯s eyes that were captivated by passion, I became a small animal for predators. ¡°Hurry¡­ ¡° My body trembled with the desire to be swallowed up. A large, white hand with a bulging blue vein grasped my breast, he grabbed the button at once and tore it open. Alan, as soon as I called out his name with a breath of excitement, all reason melted at the kiss that poured down my soft skin. And when his sharp fangs finally scratched the reddest spot, I woke up like a shriek. Unbelievably, I was lying under a misty evening sky. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Before my eyes, the sunset-colored sky was pouring down onto the calm water. It was true that I wanted to see the sunset on Lake Dove, but it was never like this. No, more than that¡­¡­. ¡°I¡¯m a rogue¡­¡­.¡± Alan Leopold was completely insane. I hate him for his arrogance and cunningness, and I am angry at the atrocities he has committed. With an unshakeable sincerity. But my foolish heart, mortgaged by the times I loved Alan and unfortunately seemed to need time to shake him off. As if to taunt me, he came to my dream when I was about to forget him. It was by no means pleasant that the frequency of these dreams were becoming more routine., But before it was always Alan who was overbearing and arrogant, and so far I had been able to evade him in my dreams and gloss over it. But now¡­¡­. ¡°¡­..I won¡¯t come tomorrow.¡± I murmured with a solemn face. Then I thought, How can I get rid of this terrible afterimage? Let¡¯s go back to the mansion first. Wash my body, eat diligently, and at night¡­¡­ Let¡¯s devote myself to the novel so much that I wouldn¡¯t be able to think of anything. I¡¯m fine. Only then did I have the heart to get up, and I put my elbow on the damp grass. The moment I slowly turned around while lifting my face that seemed to still have a feverish sensation.¡­. A startling sigh broke out. ¡°Ha,¡± Since when? A bouquet of unidentified roses lay beside me. It was a bundle big enough to fit in my arms. At first glance, it looked dark red under the burning sunset. Chapter 54 - Romantic Eyes Chapter 54: Romantic Eyes ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? The thick darkness enveloped the world. It was a pitch-black night, even the moon was covered by clouds. I was tossing and turning with a complicated mind because I was afraid to fall asleep. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± To admit that the man I had adored with my soul with endless love and longing was the only one that could only cause me fear and maim. It was such a brutal and terrifying experience that I wanted to run away. It felt like the whole world around me was falling apart. The past days when I fell for him helplessly were as deep as the abyss. It won¡¯t be easy, but I wanted to leave the past behind. Without getting caught up in it, I wanted to focus on myself and walk bravely towards the life that was given to me. It¡¯s not such a grand story. I am definitely different from before. It is because I have achieved great achievements with my own strength¡ªperhaps I should be more humble since I¡¯m a lady. I want to add a better modifier, but humility is a virtue of a lady¡ªbut I¡¯m getting closer to the writer¡¯s dream. Whenever I recall this fact, I feel so overwhelmed that I want to embrace myself as hard as I can, and I get stronger as if I can get through any adversity. It is truly a strange and dazzling thing. However, all these feelings and glory are in vain, and I am so anxious with the fear that I may see him in my dream again. I was terrified to death when I thought of the dream I had by the lake in the afternoon. I¡¯m afraid I¡¯ll see myself begging for his body and hanging off of him like a femme fatale. Now I began to open my heart to him little by little, but I hated it again and at the same time didn¡¯t want to turn away. I¡¯m so upset, I can¡¯t tolerate myself. However, no matter what it is, I can¡¯t refute the fact that my deep unconsciousness created the dream. I clenched my teeth, it was as if all the dreams of the past where I did not give into him were overshadowed today¡ª I had¡­¡­ I had coveted him like a starving dog. Unlike before, he had reluctantly accepted his kiss, and showed no sign of reaching out first. It was close to the cynical Alan Leopold whom I had loved and suffered for many years. But in today¡¯s dream I had aroused him like that¡­¡­ I had seduced him by begging in a heat of unbearable lust¡­¡­. ¡°Haa¡­¡± I swear I¡¯d never had a dream like this of Alan, even in the days I loved him so passionately. Was I such a vulgar woman? I hate him, but I long for the pleasure he gives me. My mind was so noisy that I almost wanted to go crazy. I tossed and turned again. In the midst of my heart wringing with disillusionment with myself, I prayed earnestly that this was not some kind of foreshadow or omen. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± But even considering that I am a person who is often lost in meaningless daydreams, it was funny that I suddenly felt a strange sense of guilt towards Tobias Miller. Maybe even when I was imagining a peaceful future with him, I may have already had an ugly desire for another man. No, I¡¯m sure I had. I was sexually consoling myself in a fantasy that won¡¯t come true¡­¡­ Alan deserves to be cursed for the rest of his life. There¡¯s no way I¡¯m still in love with him. I don¡¯t miss Alan Leopold any more and I don¡¯t read poetry. I don¡¯t write any more stories about a person who¡¯s obviously Alan and who is in love with me. I don¡¯t think I¡¯ll be able to write and use it in the future. He has been my inspiration and refuge for a long time, and my true love for writing was intertwined with my passion for him. In other words, it is Alan Leopold who gave me the dream and gave me the daunting opportunity of studying abroad. It was Alan who even sent me the ticket so I could cross the sea. And I took it with me in the midst of a shiver of hostility. I might look ridiculous like this. But this was never because I had love for him. I just know the reality I¡¯m in, and I don¡¯t love him anymore. ¡°¡­never,¡± Alan Leopold was my stalker. The moment I learned the fact, everything changed. Perhaps he will never understand. The psychology of a woman who is followed by an unknown man. Whether it was just a little prank or a low-quality play, or the hidden side of him who seemed perfect at first glance, I had to despair the whole time like a beast caught in a snare. Far from harming him, the atrocity of trampling on the young man who wanted to help him with sincere longing also made me feel an unparalleled sense of fear and anger at the same time. He deviates from the normal track, so I don¡¯t even know what unexpected behavior he¡¯ll show, and he even has enormous honor and wealth, so whenever I recall his frightening and frenzied deeds, I grit my teeth automatically. I couldn¡¯t stand the constant fear that I would fall in love with him again unless I don¡¯t engraved it into my bones and periodically reminded myself how harmful, evil, and crazy he was. But seriously, I wanted to abandon him. I wanted to shake him off without looking back. As if leaving the beautiful bouquet by the lake without any hesitation. Nevertheless, I had to continue to fight the image and sensation of him in my dream. His concentrated face, crumpled forehead, and his large hands, which had completely bound both my wrists so that I could not even push him away as he licked and sucked in my tender skin. Sometimes in a manner that he was tormenting me, and sometimes in a manner as if he were soothing me. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± I closed my eyes tightly and gulped as I felt a warm sense of immorality running down my throat. I didn¡¯t know whether sooner or later my stomach would completely melt. I bit my lips with resignation. I had a hunch that it was going to be a longer and more difficult night than ever. * * * A dazzling morning light fell over the tired face that had a shallow sleep. I opened my eyes in a very unpleasant sensation. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± I managed to lift my heavy eyelids and looked at the ceiling once, then the door, and at the ceiling again. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± No way. I don¡¯t think so. With that in mind, I carefully put my hand into the blanket. When my palm, which had landed lightly on the side of the waist, crumpled the white cotton sheet, and fumbled downwards slowly. ¡°Lie¡­ ¡° I immediately got up and took off the blanket. The white bedspread was messed up by bloodstains. Feeling hopeless, I felt the same unpleasant wetness as I touched my buttocks. It¡¯s the worst. I felt like I was losing all my strength. I hated the color red. Maybe it¡¯s because it¡¯s a gorgeous color that doesn¡¯t suit people like me in the first place? That color always gave me pain. I didn¡¯t like the color of the shabby dress I wore on the night I danced with my crush, the color of his beautiful lover¡¯s fluttering hair, and the color of the wig he wore¡­¡­. ¡°Hik¡­¡± The color of the rose I don¡¯t want to know who left it, and even this terrifying, fishy blood. I hated it all so much that I cursed and thought it disgusting. Suddenly, I felt so pathetic that I wanted to give up everything, and I burst out crying. I wasn¡¯t in the mood to wipe off my tears, and I didn¡¯t have the energy to stop the tears that burst out like a flood. ¡°Ugh¡­uhhh¡­¡­.¡± I stood by the bed and wept. What a wicked morning! ¡°Miss Collins!¡± Then Madam Hue rushed into the room. she sprinted through her door, as if she thought something serious had happened, her face full of concern. ¡°Why are you crying¡ª¡± I wept like a child regardless of her appearance. I didn¡¯t know what to do with this feeling, so I just poured it out. The moment she looked at the bed, I saw her gasping with a stern face. Madam Hue, who had been staring silently at the red stains on the sheet for a moment, approached me. And to my surprise, I was in her arms. ¡°¡­it¡¯s all right. Even after adulthood, you can make mistakes.¡± Her words made me burst into tears again. I cried bitterly, with my head buried into her wrinkled apron shoulder strap. ¡°There is no one in this house who can¡¯t get rid of a blood stain¡± It was a strange consolation. The whole process of Madam Hue calling the maids to take the bedspread, putting on new sheets, and bringing a change of clothes was as smooth as a waltz. Before I knew it, I was sitting at the table with swollen eyes and drinking hot chocolate. After I came here, I felt like many shameful things were happening to me¡­¡­. ¡°Are you okay?¡± Madam Hue, returning to her original sour face, made a simple meal and asked implicitly. A scone, jam, and omelette were placed in front of me. I didn¡¯t want to eat anything but the hot chocolate I have now. A sigh came out. ¡°¡­thank¡­ Thank you, Mrs. Hugh.¡± ¡°I¡¯m glad,¡± ¡°Well, what about grandma?¡± I asked, wiping the chocolate off my lips with my fingertips. ¡°The Viscountess isn¡¯t coughing but you don¡¯t seem to be well¡± ¡°Oh¡­ ¡° Then there was nothing more to answer. Madam Hue spoke to me as I rolled my eyes looking for something to say. ¡°It¡¯s annoying. Once a month, there¡¯s a disturbance in your body.¡± I am fully indebted to you, and I appreciate it, but I wanted to forget about this morning as soon as possible¡­. ¡°But the body of a woman is the most mysterious thing in the world.¡± ¡°¡­what?¡± ¡°Is it not the woman whom God loved most and made most like Her? God and women are the only ones who can create life.¡± ¡°Oh¡­ ¡° To the completely unexpected story, I picked up the cup instead of answering. Because it was not a story that really touched me, who had no experience of giving birth, let alone having a marriage partner. ¡°Even if it¡¯s annoying and uncomfortable, you have to be willing to endure it because you¡¯re preparing to welcome the pretty angel.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Miss Collins will soon have a lifetime companion.¡± The conversation was strangely prolonged. I didn¡¯t expect to have this conversation with Madam Hue. ¡°Well, I¡­¡­ I guess it will happen before long.¡­.¡± ¡°Aren¡¯t you in love?¡± ¡°What?¡± When I looked up with surprise, Mrs. Hugh had a smile that I had never seen before. ¡°You have wistful, romantic eyes,¡± Very warm, somewhat sad. ¡°I thought you looked like you were in love from the beginning.¡± Chapter 55 - Snake Chapter 55: Snake ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? I haven¡¯t been to the lake since that day. I didn¡¯t want to relive the dream I had there, and I didn¡¯t want to be terrified by the fact that I was followed by someone even here. I don¡¯t know how, but it¡¯s either Alan who brought the bouquet or one of his many men. I changed my carriage three times and ran from Florin to Arch Hill here, arrogant enough to think this would be enough. My opponent was Alan Leopold¡­¡­. It¡¯s a tedious name now. I¡¯ve come to dislike Alan even more. He must be a psychopath who feels joy in trampling on things I cherish. If I hadn¡¯t known about the existence of Lake Dove from the beginning, I wouldn¡¯t have suffered so much. It was all because of him that every day at Arch Hill, which had been slower and calmer than Collins¡¯ two-story house, began to feel like a drudgery again. What¡¯s even more upsetting is that there hasn¡¯t been a single day when he hasn¡¯t entered my dreams since I came here. Was it a problem that he spent his first night in the mansion immersed in his scent? It wasn¡¯t me, neither time nor scene, that kept him all the time. It¡¯s unlikely that I would write my novel. That¡¯s why I¡¯ve been writing my diary for a few days. Even if it¡¯s not a special content, it came from the idea of writing down anything so that my head or hands won¡¯t harden until I can write a good plot again. Today I was sitting at an old desk with a candle burning brightly. Before ending the day by writing today¡¯s diary, a new empty self-ridiculing laugh burst out from my lips, which were fluttering the page I wrote yesterday. ¡°Haa,¡± Could it be that blood can¡¯t lie? Alan is obviously a natural strategist who resembles his father. He must be spending his busy and graceful days in the capital, and his bathtub must be filled with praises and praises instead of bubbles¡­¡­. Nevertheless, Melissa Collins, who is several hundred kilometers away, is swayed and pulled around like a piece of gum in his mouth. Time will solve everything. Finally, I turned to a blank page with nothing written on it, leaning again on the hope and maxims about being able to restart. I rolled up the sleeves of my pajamas with a solemn face, while pressing the middle part of my notebook flat. The nib was drenched in the fragrant ink. ¡°¡­There is nothing to write about but your story, Sir Alan.¡± I put down my pen as if I were throwing it. I wanted to bang my head on the desk. My weakness felt infinitely stupid. I was so upset. However, if this is also a process, it must be endured. In order to get rid of my faults and spread my wings in a new world. I had only three more days until I left the kingdom. * * * ¡°Father,¡± Ian was sitting in his neat and tidy clothes, as if he had just returned from an important meeting. Anyone would have believed so if the bottle of wine in front of him had not been reduced by half. ¡°Well. How are you, Alan?¡± Alan, who greeted him with a solemn look, looked at his father. The wide shoulders and admirable figure that fit like a picture in his dark frock coat made people happy whenever they saw him. ¡°It is really bizarre. That I meet my one and only child in writing.¡± ¡°Are you in good health?¡± His smiling face was as cold as a knife. Ian thought it must be because of his dreadful headache that his son¡¯s questioning about his health didn¡¯t sound like any concern. Alan, who was seated, gracefully crossed his legs and buried himself on the sofa, and Ian opened his mouth, pouring whiskey into an elaborately crafted crystal glass. ¡°Your villa is said to be an ugly old house on the outskirts of the capital.¡± Alan didn¡¯t answer. There was too much bitterness in his tone as he said he had come to know it by chance. The old house was not far enough to be completely hidden from his father, nor did he not think that he would find out at all costs. That¡¯s why he didn¡¯t use very careful methods to get his subordinates to move materials, documents, and sometimes whiskey. Of course, it was very regrettable to think of the villa. Not only did the neighbor he was looking forward to seeing never come, but it has been a month since she arbitrarily left from his gaze. Nevertheless, it was all right now. The day of his departure for the principality was only one day away. ¡°In fact, I thought you¡¯d come home before long. You¡¯ve been in such a place for a long time.¡± ¡°It¡¯s good and quiet.¡± ¡°It seems you¡¯ve been making a lot of noise ever since it was revealed that you had left the house. Readers speculate that Leopold¡¯s son got a barn so he can secretly meet a lover.¡± Ian grinned, bringing up an uncharacteristically cheap gossip. There was a small ripple in the glass. ¡°While talking about passion and romance. Looking back, it seems to resemble my younger days¡­.¡­.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Alan¡¯s eyes gleamed like a beast in a flash that even Ian didn¡¯t notice. He answered, looking down at the glass. ¡°You¡¯ve got a lot of jokes, Father,¡± Afterwards, with a sigh-like laugh, Ian¡¯s eyes hid behind his pale eyelids. The middle-aged businessman elegantly tilted his glass and said, ¡°Monica has returned to the principality. A few days ago.¡± ¡°Oh, is that so?¡± Alan completely forgot. Reluctantly, he promised her that he would make time for her, but she went back without any trouble. It was quite fresh. Alan had expected that she would somehow drag her time here to get on board with him on ship to Lunoa. It was clear that it was unusual for Monica Elwood. It would have been a pleasure if she had finally come to her senses. ¡°The mansion you saved in the Principality.¡± Then, Ian answered the question. ¡°Monica will go first and wait for you.¡± in the worst direction ¡°I don¡¯t understand what you mean by waiting at my house.¡± ¡°Alan,¡± A heavy crystal glass was placed on the table with a sharp sound. ¡°¡­Father,¡± Unfortunately, Alan knew at once what his father was going to say. He wondered why they had a drinking party at the place where he came to greet Ian. Alan, who quietly suppressed his desire to click his tongue, continued in a silent low voice. ¡°It¡¯s too much to ask of me. We¡¯re family.¡± ¡°There is no one more suitable for your spouse than her. If not the best¡ª¡± ¡°I,¡± At that moment, a cool low-pitched sound cut through the air. ¡°Ah, Your sole successor to Leopold.¡± Alan drank all the wine out of the glass. As he handed over the whiskey, Alan¡¯s beautiful brows distorted. ¡°You know, she didn¡¯t get a name, but she¡¯s definitely Leopold.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I have nothing more to say. It¡¯s just a bad taste.¡± ¡°You¡ª¡± ¡°Ah, how thoughtless of me, I didn¡¯t mean to drink it¡± Alan said recklessly in a wet voice. With a nice smile on his face. ¡°I hope my glass doesn¡¯t contain anything other than whiskey.¡± ¡°¡­You¡¯ve been through a lot lately.¡± ¡°It¡¯s a joke,¡± Alan gently pressed down his anger under the guise of kindness. Ian brought out the main topic with a light sigh. ¡°I heard everything from Monica. Of course, I was told it wasn¡¯t true.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I have been reported every day about how passionate you are in your work. I am also satisfied with the performance¡­¡­ But if you¡¯re paying attention to some insignificant woman, you can¡¯t afford that.¡± ¡°His Highness seems to have played a prank on her.¡± Ian said in a low voice at his words. ¡°Then your villa is, after all, a joke you are playing with this father?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Alan froze at those words. It was fortunate that Melissa Collins was away from the capital. According to a report by an aide, there is no situation that anyone known to her leaving for New Ditch. Till now. Of course, it didn¡¯t matter if it was only a matter of time before his father¡¯s gaze reached her. He, too, is leaving for the principality tomorrow. ¡°I have no intention of scolding you for a little play, Alan.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± As long as she was out of Sourne, he was confident that he would keep her hidden in a safe place that he knew. He already made all the preparations. ¡°If you¡¯re sick and tired of the people at the top and you¡¯re looking at something different, that¡¯s fine. But not for the mistress of the family.¡± ¡°Ah¡­ ¡° Why do I think I¡¯ll be able to succeed the family without hesitation? Alan couldn¡¯t hold back his laughter as he tried to burst out even though only a sip of alcohol couldn¡¯t boost his spirits. Having never abandoned one¡¯s family name It¡¯s just¡­¡­ To destroy in the most perfect form. ¡°It¡¯s not like that,¡± The son¡¯s polite tone made the father feel rather irritated. ¡®Maybe what I picked up¡­.¡¯ Ian stretched out his trembling hand toward the glass. ¡®Was a snake in an angel¡¯s mask?¡¯ Then, Alan held his father¡¯s hand. To be precise, the hand holding the glass of wine. ¡°I think you¡¯ve gone too far, but let¡¯s stop here. Now that I¡¯ve seen your face, I¡¯m leaving.¡± ¡°Alan, there are many things in the world that are better not to know.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°To me, you¡­¡­.¡± Alan pulled the glass out of his father¡¯s hand and put it on the table before he got up. ¡°You don¡¯t have to worry too much.¡± His drooping eyelids as he arranged his collar were strangely overbearing. ¡°Because I¡¯ll do well. As always.¡± Chapter 56 - Act II Chapter 56: Act II ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? T/N: Before starting this chapter I¡¯ll explain the meanings (definition) of the main parts of a ship. People who are knowledgeable about ships and their different parts can skip this! -> moor(ed)- make fast (a boat) by attaching it by cable or rope to the shore or to an anchor. -> Hull- the main body of a ship or other vessel, including the bottom, sides, and deck but not the masts, superstructure, rigging, engines, and other fittings. -> Prow- the pointed front part of a ship; the bow. -> Crew- a group of people who work on and operate a ship, aircraft, etc. ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? Time flew by. The morning of leaving the kingdom has come. Early in the morning, the old but still noble mansion of Arch Hill looked down upon me as usual. With a stubborn look. Nevertheless, the beautiful walls surrounded by the dawn of early summer no longer looked cold. Standing with her back to the mansion, my great aunt, who had a pale complexion and bright eyes at the same time, grabbed my hands. A soft warmth was transmitted from the soft, wrinkled skin. ¡°I hope your time here has been good for you.¡± ¡°It was perfectly fine. Once again thank you for calling the carriage.¡± ¡°You don¡¯t have to thank me. You¡¯re always welcome to come here when you come back, Melissa.¡± ¡°Really? Then we¡¯ll go to the lake together in two years, Grandma. I¡¯ll write to you from time to time.¡± Stay healthy¡­. I added hastily in a tearful voice. Oh, I must say hello to the eight women standing side by side behind my great-aunt¡¯s back. ¡°To both Madam Hue and everyone in the mansion¡­¡­ Thank you very much.¡± ¡°Miss Collins, learning is important, but you should always be healthy.¡± Madam Hue¡¯s sour expression and blunt tone was no different from the day we first met. But I was surprised to hear a sad emotion in her voice. When did this happen? ¡°Even in a foreign country across the sea, Miss Collins, if you find love, you must never hesitate.¡± ¡°Oh¡­ of course, madam.¡± I didn¡¯t want to have a slow departure with an argument in the middle of farewells. Above all, I didn¡¯t have much time. It¡¯s a big deal if I miss the ship. ¡°I¡¯ll never miss it.¡± It was the most lively and fresh answer I could give, which would make anyone think I was a blind believer of love. * * * It was past noon when I arrived at the port after a long ride in the carriage. As soon as I got out of the carriage, a salty sea breeze blew in. I grabbed my hat and inhaled the air full of strange excitement and vitality. Yes, it¡¯s been good so far. The problem was the moment when I actually faced the ¡®Moonlight¡¯, which I had only heard of. I froze on the spot and couldn¡¯t even walk. When I heard from Mr. Greg, who said that it was the most luxurious passenger ship in the kingdom, all I could imagine was how big the ship would be, or if it would be as spacious as the mansion where the wealthy lived¡­. ¡°Uh¡­¡­¡± But the ship surpassed all my imaginations, like a palace, it was moored in front of me. A huge and elegant hull that extends from the prow as sharp as a knife¡­¡­ I¡¯ve never seen anything like this anywhere. I was engulfed by an overwhelming fear. The light repeatedly flashed, and a tremendously loud commotion surrounded me. In the midst of a huge crowd, I stood alone with a cold sweat. ¡°The third-class is this way, this way! ¡°Oliver! It¡¯s here!¡± ¡°Don¡¯t push me, you idiot! Damn it!¡± ¡°Mom! Mom!¡± Whether I stood still or not, people hurriedly and violently shouted and pushed me. I was staggering helplessly in a place where carriages and horses, passengers and onlookers were thoroughly mixed, I felt my breathing getting heavy and I was falling into a deeper and deeper confusion. ¡°I¡¯ll pass!¡± ¡°Ah¡­!¡± A fat lady, who suddenly appeared, pushed me roughly. I got the wind knocked out of me as I fell to the floor with my suitcase. As people retreated back and forth, a little space was created, and finally I could breathe a little bit. Just then, a whistle sounded to announce the departure. The ship was ready to sail. I can¡¯t miss it¡­¡­. ¡°On board¡­ where¡­¡­.¡± Holding my bag, I looked around like a madman. However, my low level view was full of colorful dresses or dirty shoes. I have to get up quickly¡­¡­. ¡°Hey!¡± Then someone approached and held out his hand. It was a dirty blotchy hand. ¡°Oh¡­ Thank you.¡± I caught hold of the rough hand and managed to get myself up. The dark monochrome dress was covered with white dust and was ruined. I was shaking off the hem when the man spoke to me. ¡°Are you riding Moonlight?¡± ¡°¡­yes,¡± ¡°What is that little basket? Ha, a Sandwich?¡± Then I looked up and saw the man in his old shirt with suspenders and a messy beard. He sneered at the lunchbox that Mrs. Hugh had handed me. I didn¡¯t even know there was soot on my face. ¡°Are you sure you¡¯re on that ship? Let me see your ticket.¡± He didn¡¯t look good the way he squawked. I took the ticket out of my pocket and swung it out. ¡°Hik, first class? How¡­!¡± After confirming the expected reaction, I hurriedly hid the ticket again. It¡¯s too dazzling to take out in the noon sun. ¡°Where did you get this? If it¡¯s stolen, hand it over! Should I report you¡ª¡± ¡°What are you talking about? This is my ticket.¡± ¡°Ha!¡± He spat out the cheap cigarette he had in his mouth¡ªwhich had become short and barely hung on his lips¡ª with a loud sound and looked at me with eerie eyes. It was a disgusting stare. ¡°How can I believe you when you look like this? That¡¯s a pathetic disguise, isn¡¯t it? You should be an old aristocrat, at least¡­¡­!¡± ¡°Get out of here,¡± At that moment, a clean gentleman appeared and cut off his words. I saw the dirty man retreating with his mouth promptly shut. I guess he looked expensive enough to him. ¡°Miss, the first-class is over there. Let¡¯s go together.¡± ¡°Thank¡­..¡± ¡°Hurry up,¡± I climbed the steep stairs, and my shoulders flinched at the sound of a violent whistle. There was a thin iron staircase connecting the land to the hull. The boarding gate of the first class was quite high, and beneath my feet was the deep blue sea. The sea, which I thought would be vaguely beautiful, became a distant fear. ¡°I don¡¯t know where you¡¯re going, but I hope you have a good trip.¡± The gentleman who escorted the trembling me, bid me farewell at the end of the stairs. Then he turned around without even hearing a thank you. I was shaking, hoping that the employee who took my ticket and wrote down my name would call me and let me in. I was swept away by the strong sea breeze and felt as if I were about to be thrown under the deep sea. ¡°Let me see your ticket.¡± I hurriedly wiped my sweaty palms over the hem of my clothes, then pulled out my ticket and handed it to him. The employee glanced at my trembling complexion once, my simple clothes, and my old bag, and then looked at the ledger in his hand. ¡°I¡¯ve confirmed it. What¡¯s your name?¡± ¡°Collin¡­¡­Melissa Collins.¡± As he alternated between the passenger list and my face, he suddenly opened his eyes wide. It was then that an unexpected exclamation broke out. ¡°¡­..Ah!¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Welcome, Miss Collins. Come on, let¡¯s go inside. Let me guide you to the cabin.¡± ¡°Yes,¡± ¡­. Finally I clasped my hands close to my chest and stepped inside. Maybe because of the wind or tension, my hands were as cold as ice. The Moonlight was frighteningly great in appearance, but the interior was breathtakingly luxurious. The corridor, covered with red carpet on the walls and floors, concealed my nervous footsteps. The noble ladies in their large feathered hats were giving their graceful greetings, and the imposing gentlemen walked around with their chins raised. Two brown dogs were fluttering their beautifully groomed fur in the wind. It looked softer than my hair. I bowed my head to ignore the suspicious gazes following me. I wanted to hide in a rat hole. I was dreading the idea of having to spend nearly a week on this ship. But if I had to get off at Lunoa and get to my destination, I would have¡­¡­. In fact, fame and wealth do not always coincide, and there are many poor or frugal among the nobles. That is why, in the social circle, I was neither good nor bad. However, the first-class section of the Moonlight was like a nest of extravagant peacocks who were eager to show off their wealth. Here I am a complete stranger, ¡°Haa¡­¡± A tainted thought¡ª I thought for a moment that I should have brought the dress that Mr. Longhorn had given me, but at that moment I closed my eyes, smelling the rich perfume of the noble lady, I could not tell if she was a jewel or a person. I took a deep breath and mustered my courage. For some, it would have been a ridiculous notion to think that it would have been better to ride in the third class instead of enjoying the prestige of being in the first class, on the Moonlight, a lifelong dream for some. What the hell is this if it¡¯s not the deception I hated so much. Well, I don¡¯t mind now. As my body and mind were as tired as seaweed washed away by the waves. I followed the crew diligently, hoping that my cabin would appear somewhere in this endless corridor. ¡°Here it is. The key is inside.¡± ¡°Thank¡­¡± The moment he opened the door, I forgot to thank him. The fragrant cabin, decorated with various flowers, was illuminated with cozy lights. The walls and floors were made of dark-colored wood with a smooth luster, with delicately plated molding in the form of the plants adding to the beauty. The graceful palisander table and bed were as antique as royal objects, and the neat sheets were not wrinkled. It was a room so beautiful that it made me speechless. I¡¯m the only one who doesn¡¯t shine in this space for every candlestick, every teacup and everything was dazzling here. The crew left me alone, and I threw myself on the bed with a strange feeling that I had never experienced in my life. I felt like I was dreaming, and I was swimming in the warm water freely under the sunshine. ¡°Ah¡± For a moment, I felt the ship swaying. Sure enough, there was a whistle heard and a loud roar from the outside. I got goosebumps all over my body with a rush of excitement. It was the first time in my life that I had left the kingdom and crossed the sea to pursue my dreams. I was frightened to think about it, but now I had nowhere to go. I don¡¯t even know how to swim. I hugged my trembling shoulders tightly and cast a friendly spell. ¡°It¡¯s all right¡­ I can do it¡­¡­.¡± I could clearly feel my tender chest rising and falling under my trembling arms as I inhaled and exhaled slowly. My heart was beating so fast that it was about to explode. Anxiety and excitement, tension and fatigue overwhelmed my whole body. I closed my eyes, hallucinating as if I were swaying somewhere between reality and reality. At last it departed. It was the second act and opening of Melissa Collins¡¯ life. Chapter 57 - Both of Us In Same Ship Chapter 57: Both of Us In Same Ship ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? ~Terminologies related to ships~ -> Fanfare: A short ceremonial tune or flourish played on brass instruments, typically to introduce something or someone important. -> Deck: a floor of a ship, especially the upper, open level extending for the full length of the vessel. -> Sunbed: an apparatus used for acquiring a tan, consisting of two banks of lamps between which one lies or stands. -> Cabin: a private room on a ship or boat. / a compartment below deck on a boat used for living accommodations. b : the passenger or cargo compartment of a vehicle (such as an airplane or automobile) -> Ferry: a boat or ship for conveying passengers and goods. -> Stern: The rearmost part of a ship or boat. -> Cellar: Cellar deck will be your lowest deck normally reserved for storage. -> Hull: the main body of a ship or other vessel, including the bottom, sides, and deck but not the masts, superstructure, rigging, engines, and other fittings. -> Bow: The front of a ship is called the bow. ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? There are many strange things in the Moonlight. For example, a loud fanfare resounds three times a day. It is impossible to know from where the idea of ??announcing meal times in this way came from. I¡¯m just ignoring that rule, for a simple reason¡ª because I am afraid to go out of the cabin. It¡¯s hard for me to mingle in the air of elegance and gracefulness. I¡¯m even afraid to step on the bright red carpet in the hallway. As if I was a fish, and the outside of the cabin was all land. Under these circumstances, eating three meals a day feels like a luxury. Foolishly, I took my meals only twice, very early in the morning and very late at lunch. I came only to satisfy my hunger without having time to appreciate the scenery. I was lucky to have a small mouth(less appetite), but the problem was that the longer I stayed in the cabin, the more severe my motion sickness became. Having never been near a port in my life, I had no opportunity to realize how serious my seasickness was. This unpleasant throbbing was usually tolerable, but sometimes it was unbearably severe. At that time, I had to go up the deck without a choice. Actually, I liked being outside. I wanted to lie down on a sunbed on a sunny spot on the deck, enjoy the warm sun, and listen to the appreciations of the passengers about this overwhelming scenery. But I was afraid to be mixed with them, and I didn¡¯t have the courage to go down to the third class and get along with the red-faced men*.¡­. (*Drunk men) That is why I left the cabin shuddering only when the nausea was so intense that it was unbearable. By the way, it was yesterday that I went on the deck after suffering from unbearable motion sickness, but the same thing happened today. The first-class area is at the top on this huge passenger ship. In other words, it means that you can see the spectacular view of the dazzling open sea from the highest and the farthest point. ¡°Wow¡­ ¡° It was a particularly blue day. In the strong sea breeze, the hem of my clothes fluttered. There were no patterns or decorations, and yet, there was a rather rugged poplin dress that stood out here. I looked out at the distant horizon, praying that the first class passengers who came out to enjoy the sunlight did not pay attention to me in shabby clothes. The huge jewel-like sea was so deep that just looking at it makes you forget all the miscellaneous thoughts, and it was as blue as eternity. As I bowed my head a little, I saw brilliant foam that crashed into the hull and shattered. The transparent and dazzling thing looked like a crystal made of light. I finally felt the blood rush to my head. Then my gaze turned to the lower deck. People in plain or shabby clothes. It was a cargo room and workers in the boiler room were also seen. Their appearance, neither splendid nor noble, was as different as the sky and the earth from the passengers of the first class, but they were shining with healthy vitality. Like a flock of free dolphins. Naturally, I was lost in thought. What if I mix in between them? Perhaps compared to the first class area, my visual difference would not be so great. But it¡¯s true that it is uncomfortable when they¡¯re drunk, screaming and dancing.¡­. The point is that there is no place for me to stay on this huge ferry. The loneliness of this fact forced me to reflect again. The people I miss are not here. And I was the one who decided to leave them ashore and board the ship. ¡°Why are you crying¡­.¡± I¡¯m not even halfway to the Principality. I hated myself for being weak already. * * * Whether it¡¯s first or third class, the people here party day and night. In the middle of the day when the sun was shining above the waves, the gentlemen burned cigars and talked about politics and business, and the women enjoyed a tea party with sumptuous desserts under the awnings on the terrace. As the sun goes down, there is always a concert on board, capturing the ears of the passengers. I often shed tears while listening to the performance. There are few things in the world more romantic than listening to an orchestra performing in the hue of the setting sun and evening breeze. At night, in the palace-like first-class banquet hall, there is a ball held every day¡ªOn the second night, when I was sick with severe motion sickness, I went in to get a glass of champagne and it was so dazzling that I was tired of the overwhelming sight¡ªMy impression of seeing the ball was precisely, ¡®Who on earth thought of decorating the inside of the ship with a dome ceiling and a golden staircase?¡¯ The ball was crowded with aristocrats of all nationalities and emerging rich people, and some of them appeared to be royal. It was natural that I, dressed in shabby clothes, was nothing more than an uninvited guest. It was as if I had accidentally fallen into a beautiful landscape painting. Even the skilled servers who came and went busily with shining silver trays were surprised that I was a first class passenger. But thanks to the ball, the deck at night was relatively quiet. At night, even the third class passengers were busy throwing a party in the cellar. Thanks to this, I was able to appreciate the countless stars in the night sky for a long time without anyone¡¯s interference. Even that day I was suffering from severe motion sickness. It was the worst vomiting I¡¯ve ever had. After struggling for a long time because I couldn¡¯t read or sleep, I was eagerly waiting for the fanfare to ring to announce the dinner time. Of course, I wasn¡¯t hungry. I didn¡¯t even think about eating something. It was just the thought of getting on the deck and looking at the stars and enjoying the breeze while the passengers enjoyed a leisurely meal and ball. But the fanfare didn¡¯t ring. At that time, when the puzzlement was gradually amplified, there was the sound of firecrackers and the cheers of the people drowned in excitement It was only then that I remembered hearing at the restaurant about the masquerade. ¡°Was that today?¡± I felt like my headache was getting worse. The place where many people gather is like hell to me. Without my one and only friend, Viola, it¡¯s like hell¡­¡­. I never wanted to go out, but it was even worse to die suffering from extreme motion sickness. ¡°¡­at least the hall is empty.¡± That¡¯s good. If I quietly exit and go over to the dark side of the stern, the party atmosphere would definitely be diluted. It had to be so. I feel like I can vomit on an empty stomach at this rate.¡­. I managed to pull myself up and put my feets back in the shoes that I had taken off. I felt dizzy for a moment, but I turned the heavy doorknob with a determination to breathe fresh air. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± As expected, the corridor was empty. However, only the excited air in the hull was so thick that it was impossible to pretend not to know. I patted my stuffy chest and rubbed my nauseous stomach, while rushing towards the door. Why is it so wide¡­. After all, there were quite a few people near the entrance. A pleasant drunkenness floated around them. ¡°There are 2,000 passengers!¡± The moment I approached the door, a man giggled loudly and blocked the entrance. I frowned. ¡°There¡¯s no way you don¡¯t have a partner!¡± ¡°Let¡¯s ask her today¡ªif she¡¯s an immature rich lady. Hehe.¡± ¡­..I¡¯ve always had a hard time with the socialites who have elegant faces with arrogance buried to their bones, but these lowly bastards are the worst I¡¯ve ever seen. I did not hide my displeased expression and I pushed through the ridiculously masked men and opened the door ¡°Ah¡­ ¡° As soon as the door opened, the first thing that greeted me was the cold wind that poured over my face, which made it hard to believe that it was early summer. Then there were colorful fireworks that embroidered the dark night sky. ¡°It¡¯s so beautiful¡­¡­.¡± I looked up blankly at the feast of bursting lights. The color-changing fireworks were so dazzling that it made me forget the loud noises. Even in the cabin, I thought it would be just an annoying noise that obstructs stargazing¡­¡­ I couldn¡¯t wait to move to a quiet place and rest, but I was curious about the appearance of people who would be in the same colours as the fireworks. Let¡¯s take a look and go to the stern. Having concluded so, I went to the front of the deck of the cabin floor and leaned closely against the railing. Not surprisingly, the widest space on the deck, near the bow, had been transformed into a huge ballroom with torches burning everywhere. It would have been very painful if I were in there, but it wasn¡¯t so bad to look down at people who were dressed in colorful masks and beautiful clothes and smiled happily. As if bewitched by a truly magical ball that changed from red to golden to purple, I rested my chin on my hand and my elbow at the railing. As I was carefully examining each and every one of them¡­¡­ I almost fell down. He was in the middle of the place where the most splendid and beautiful people gathered at the splendid masquerade. I couldn¡¯t help but notice that he was wearing a mask, even though he was so far away. Even down there, covered with all kinds of dazzling light, his black hair was the most ecstatic color. His height and beautiful shoulders look like a picture. The arrogant chin and the neckline that runs below it. Even the delicate fingers holding the glass and the upright posture¡­¡­. ¡°Alan¡­ ¡° I shut my mouth in a hurry. I hate myself for secretly calling out his name. ¡°Haa,¡± I turned away because I didn¡¯t want to see him anymore. The iron railing that reached my waist was as cold as ice. Did he send the ticket to get on the same ship with me? With a bad heart? ¡°¡­no, Melissa,¡± That¡¯s impossible. If it was true, he would have come into my room sooner. I¡¯ve been having a peaceful and lonely time all along. Ironically, the destination is the same, and this great first-class ticket is nothing more or less favoritism to Leopold¡¯s next head. The most dazzling and beautiful place. Even there, his seat is only in the centre. Standing like this from a distance and watching him secretly is something that only Melissa Collins deserves. He must have been curious about a woman who had no color or scent in his wintery world. So he toyed with the girl until he got bored and quit. It was certainly a good thing, but strangely, my heart ached. It would be nice if it was just because the wind was cold¡­¡­. However, Alan was not there when I looked around. ¡°¡­Where did you go?¡± How can he leave the ball so easily that was just for you? It was funny that I was anxious. I couldn¡¯t help but understand the hearts of women who regretted his absence. At that very moment, a strange firm hand gripped my arm. ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? Chapter 58 - Last Night of Moonlight Chapter 58: Last Night of Moonlight ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? ¡°Kyaa!¡± ¡°Oh, I¡¯m sorry!¡± The hand, which held my cool arm, was taken back in surprise. ¡°Ahem, Because you were standing so precariously that you were about to fall¡­ Please forgive me.¡± He was a blonde gentleman neatly dressed in a gray coat. Why is this calm face strangely familiar? Reminds me of that friendly server at the coffee shop? Then he grinned. ¡°By the way¡­. What a coincidence.¡± ¡°Ah!¡± It was only then that I remembered that he was a gentleman who helped me board at the port. The man with a mask and hand on his chest politely showed courtesy. ¡°I am Leon Anderson.¡± ¡°Ah, thank you. At that time, I couldn¡¯t greet you properly¡­.. I am Melissa Collins.¡± ¡°Miss Collins,¡± He continued in a very serious tone. ¡°I¡¯m glad to see you again, but you look very pale.¡± ¡°Ah, I have a little motion sickness¡ª¡± Boom, boom. Suddenly, fireworks exploded in succession, and excited cheers were heard. I managed to continue as I watched his cool face turn red in the light. ¡°If I get some air, I¡¯ll be fine soon.¡± ¡°Have you eaten?¡± ¡°No, today¡­¡­.¡± ¡°You mean you haven¡¯t eaten anything? yet?¡± Because Mr. Anderson looked incredibly shocked, I hurriedly tried to remember and say something. Two meals. ¡°Miss Collins, if you don¡¯t eat anything, your motion sickness will worsen. Didn¡¯t you know?¡± ¡°That¡­¡­¡± ¡°No, you can¡¯t. I¡¯ll go down and get some food for you at once.¡± Mr. Anderson spoke as gravely as a doctor who faced an emergency patient. Maybe he¡¯s really a doctor. He was a first-class passenger, too. ¡°Please wait here. You must stay here.¡± ¡­..He¡¯s a strict doctor. I nodded helplessly. Looking at his back, who was descending the stairs in a hurry, the strength in my legs loosened, and shortly, my whole body slid down. ¡°Haa¡­¡± Behind me, the noise was mixed with excitement and music. I could hear the loud laughter of those who were drunk and in a better mood from time to time. Is it because of the mood? I feel like I¡¯m drunk without even drinking. ¡°¡­It¡¯s not the mood.¡± Unfortunately, it¡¯s not because I¡¯m excited, but because my motion sickness is getting out of control. My stomach was churning and I was in so much pain that I couldn¡¯t stay still. But it was very difficult because I didn¡¯t have the energy to get up. And in a few minutes, chills and headaches weighed on me. I groaned in the worst motion sickness I had ever experienced in my life, and I held onto the railing with a desperate look. It took quite a long time to get up again. All right. Let¡¯s go to the deck behind the ship. Let¡¯s go and vomit it. In fact, I don¡¯t know if there¡¯s anything to vomit right now. The only thing I ate all day was a few sips of water. I just had to try vomiting something. If I don¡¯t spit all this disgusting stuff out right now¡­¡­. ¡°Ugh¡­..¡± At last, my legs moved. Although I was told to stay still and wait, I didn¡¯t want to become a spectacle with the partygoers here. I only hoped that Mr. Anderson would take a little longer to bring the food, so that I wouldn¡¯t keep him waiting. (T/N: she¡¯s is planning to go to her cabin, vomit and come back here, that¡¯s why she is hoping he comes back late so that she would do her vomiting and come back first) * * * The faces of the two men who came out of the crowd with their masks off roughly were distorted. ¡°Shit¡­¡­¡± As they got closer to the stern from the ballroom where torches were lit everywhere, the chill and darkness of the night sea grew thicker. As if unable to bear it any longer, the two men smoked cigarettes at the same time. ¡°You can¡¯t reach a high-class woman, Dick, the ship will arrive tomorrow afternoon, so today¡¯s the last night. At this rate, it will be morning.¡± ¡°¡­how much was the ship ticket? I can¡¯t leave without having fun!¡± It¡¯s like a fucking speedboat. The man, called Dirk, gasped indignantly. There were many small scars around the messy moustache that had not been trimmed ¡°In the first place, we set the wrong goal. If you had worn a coat, you could have pretended to be a royalty from(somewhere)¡ª¡± ¡°Should I steal one now? I¡¯m not on the ship to play with scruffy women, damn it.¡± They were still foolish enough to believe that their clothes were the only reason why they did not win the lady¡¯s heart, even though they were obviously dirty and indisposed. At that moment, Dick lowered his voice as he pulled the group together roughly. ¡°Matt, look over there! There¡¯s a woman!¡± ¡°A woman?¡± The two men leaned down in a hurry. There was a woman standing on the back deck, which was empty. She wore a thin shawl over a rough green poplin dress. ¡°She¡¯s not an upper-class lady¡ª¡± ¡°Shh, watch her!¡± They held her breath as they watched the strong night wind on the stern engulf her body. Because of the wind and her leaning so heavily on the railing her dress showed off her graceful body line. ¡°It still works, doesn¡¯t it?¡± ¡°Well¡­¡± Her body wasn¡¯t voluminous, but he liked the flowing curves like flowing water. No, the man called Matt agreed as he was fiddling with his shaggy mustache. ¡°Definitely,¡± Then Dick showed his yellow teeth and quickly said, ¡°Fetch something to drink, at once.¡± Let¡¯s make good use of ¡°It.¡± His secretly whispered eyes glistened with dirty greed. * * * (T/N: this scene will switch from 1pov to 3pov again and again, it will also change from Dick¡¯s pov to Mel¡¯s pov, I tried to make it constant as much as possible) I stood alone on the stern, where the gaslight flickered faintly. Passengers either enjoyed the entertainment of the masquerade on board from a distance or returned to their cabins to sleep. It was such a deep night. My body trembled as the sea breeze playfully stroked my hair and stroked my cheeks for a long time. The stabbing headache was getting worse. However, it was painful to be unable to vomit anything. If I go back to the cabin like this, my motion sickness will get worse. I had no choice but to spread my shawl as wide as I could and shrug my shoulders. At that moment I heard a faint whistle. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Tired and exhausted, I didn¡¯t look back. I only looked at the waves that hit the hull and broke into pieces hoping that the symptoms would subside. ¡°Hello, miss,¡± It was then that a strange man spoke to me. I turned my head in astonishment. A faded coat and sweaty shirt. His hair was disheveled and his eyes were bloodshot. Then the suspicious man pulled up his scarred lips and came closer. ¡°Oh, it¡¯s good night, isn¡¯t it?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Seeing the clear brown eyes trembling, the man immediately recognized that the woman was wary of him. ¡°You have a bad complexion, miss.¡± The man who said that was obviously not saying anything out of the ordinary. Not only was the woman in front of him was visibly pale, she looked like someone seriously uncomfortable somewhere. But the man¡¯s face had a fishy smile, and his strange expression didn¡¯t seem to really worry about her. When I frowned, but said nothing, the man continued to speak calmly. ¡°Ah, I¡¯m the crew on this ship. It¡¯s a great cruise ship, isn¡¯t it?¡± ¡°You¡¯re a crew member?¡± Melissa asked with a puzzled look in the midst of a precarious situation as if she was about to collapse. She had never seen such a messy crew member. It wasn¡¯t just a matter of not wearing a uniform. ¡°Oh, cargo! I work in the cargo bay. Cargo workers are also crew employees ¡°¡­¡­.¡± When the man spoke in a haze, Melissa, who had been choosing an answer for a while, suddenly shut her mouth. It was because her whole body was drained and at the same time a sense of nausea rushed in. However, nothing will come out again this time. I¡¯d better go back to the cabin now. Just then, I saw another man running this way. The man that had spoken to me previously snatched what was in the running man¡¯s hand and spoke in a friendly tone. ¡°You¡¯re very seasick, aren¡¯t you, miss? Here¡¯s some water to drink.¡± The water in the transparent glass was twinkling before her eyes. Melissa had no idea where the cup of water had sprung out of nowhere, or what she had missed. ¡°Ah¡­.. ¡° All of a sudden, everything felt overwhelming, but the most burdensome thing now was this terrible motion sickness. Melissa staggered with her hand on her head, and the glass stuck out right in front of her chest as if it had been waiting for her. ¡°Come on. It¡¯s cool water.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°You¡¯ll be much more comfortable after drinking.¡± Two men with dirty beards were staring down at me. This situation was hard to understand, but Melissa was eager to believe it was true. Then a sudden uncontrollable thirst struck her. ¡°¡­thank you¡­¡­.¡± A pale, thin hand took the glass of cold water. Melissa drank the water sweetly as if it were life-giving water. Panting like a poor fish thrown ashore. The water was so cool and refreshing, as the man said. ¡°Did you melt it properly?¡± ¡°Yes, Dick,¡± And as the man said¡­¡­. ¡°What do you think, feeling more comfortable?¡± ¡°Yes, I think so¡ª¡± Then Melissa felt the world spinning. ¡°Aww, you stupid bitch.¡± As she staggered, Melissa grabbed the railing and brooded over the man¡¯s sudden ridicule. Thinking that motion sickness is now deafening her ears. ¡°¡­ah.¡± A belated sigh broke out. It was so quiet that no one could hear it. Melissa belatedly understood the whole situation when she saw them, who had a fishy laugh and were finally bursting into laughter. But there was nothing I could do. What will happen now? Melissa went into a vain panic in the flashing consciousness. She was dragged helplessly by a tugging touch on her waist, and fell down, unable to overcome gravity. There was no sensation in my palms and knees that touched the cold floor. It felt like I was simply drowning in a remote swamp. I¡¯ll carry her on my back, Dick. Let¡¯s go underground! There¡¯s a garage there. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Even though they were clearly in front of me, their voices sounded very distant. My consciousness, which was about to break, seemed to have reached its limit. And at that last moment, I felt the deck vibrate slightly. Then, the sound of hard shoes walking on the floor and quickly approaching was heard. ¡®Dark¡­sparkling¡­¡­.¡¯ Suddenly, a shining brilliant mane of dark hair entered my retina as if engraved on the inside of my eyelids. Even though my eyes were closed. ¡®He¡¯s tall¡­ what a sweet end.¡¯ Melissa finally fainted. So she had no idea what had happened after that. ¡°Uh, What do you want? Don¡¯t disturb¡ª¡± ¡°Wait, Dick! This man¡­¡­.¡± The gentleman, dressed in a fine tailcoat, seemed unwilling to listen to the idiots. His eyes were as arrogant and daunting as if he were looking at a dirty bug. He knocked the sloppy man down with his long legs and coldly said, ¡°Get lost,¡± Chapter 59 - Paradise on the Moon Chapter 59: Paradise on the Moon ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? This must be a dream, right? Maybe it is. Otherwise, I won¡¯t experience a situation in which my novel is unfolding right in front of me. In my novel , which was praised by the Royal Academy, the heroine¡¯s name never appears. So it¡¯s reasonable that Troy called her by my name. ¡°Melissa,¡± My name in his voice sounded like a hymn. Relaxed by that radiant smile, I had no choice but to smile after him. There was a holy light on his cheek that would stop even the widespread war and hatred in the world. ¡°Troy¡­¡± Has spring finally come to his frozen heart? His eyes, which had always been as cold as ice, seemed to be clearer than ever before. Like the dawn sky that drove out the darkness and brought the light. Somehow I shed tears. ¡°I¡¯m listening, Melissa.¡± He smiled with a harmless face that he had never shown before. It was a smile only for me. Mixed emotions poured out from me. ¡°Until now, you were¡­¡­ In the midst of beautiful people like flowers¡­¡­.¡± Your figure looked so holy and cruel but also heartrending. I wanted to disappear just by peeping at you¡­¡­ Of course, my crude sincerity was not conveyed. I was so choked up that I couldn¡¯t even speak. It was also difficult to breathe. In the midst of that, his touch, which wiped away my tears, was as noble as if it were out of this world. ¡°They¡¯re all ghosts. For me, Melissa, you¡¯re the only one¡­¡­.¡± Troy whispered like a dream. The friendly whisper gave me an uncontrollable joy. Extreme joy has the same feeling as pain. I asked, pressing down my bursting emotions. ¡°Now¡­ Can I be happy?¡± ¡°That¡¯s why I brought you here.¡± Here? Is it because I have a silly face? He let out a small chuckle. The moment I felt goosebumps at the sweet echo, Troy got up. But no hand reached out to me. I looked up at him with blank eyes and tried to get up with him. My cheeks still need your warmth. Lacking your touch, I have no intention of stopping these tears. But for some reason, I couldn¡¯t get up. Troy, with his head tilted at an angle, was looking down at me with languid eyes, and I tried to stretch out my arms towards his chest, thinking he would hold me up and lift me up. But¡­ ¡°Troy¡ª¡± A cold metallic sound rang from my ankle. At the same time, his beautiful lips twisted with laughter. ¡°Why¡­?¡± ¡°Let¡¯s be happy together.¡± It was only then that I remembered that the novel had stopped in the middle. In the middle of the novel, Troy realized his deep love for her and was convinced that she loved him, too.¡­ ¡°¡­.ha¡± Unable to do anything about her recklessly trying to run away, she ends up imprisoned. Troy looks perfect at first glance, but he has a long-standing wound that he hides secretly. It began with only a small seedling, but over time it became large enough to cover him completely. As a result, Troy¡¯s emotional growth had stopped at some point. There is a child still crouching and crying in his heart. Maybe that child will never grow up. ¡°You can¡¯t run away now, Melissa.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± As a writer, I had a desire to create an extremely pure character, and Troy was created with that thought. Like the moon in the night sky, he has a dark side, resembling the snow that falls silently at dawn when everyone is asleep because I wrote him as a haughty, noble character, the likes of which the world would never see again. This is the reason why Troy is so stubborn and upright, and his righteousness/character is the essence and gist of this novel. But the fact is I am to bare the brunt of this dire situation for the development. ¡°This¡­ ¡° And the fact that this is not a dream leaves me speechless¡­¡­ ¡°¡­is this possible?¡± It was a catastrophe The realization of waking up from the dream came in very suddenly. Even when I was making eye contact with Troy, I had vaguely thought that this place was somewhere on the soft grass at dawn. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± As I was about to change my posture and sit down, I heard a loud clanging sound once again. I burst into laughter. ¡°Ha¡­¡± The cold solitary room, which must have been a prison, didn¡¯t even have a window. If it hadn¡¯t been for the flame on the wall, I would have gone crazy in this gloomy darkness. But that light did not remedy the unpleasant damp floor. To make matters worse, if something gross¡ª a mouse or a centipede¡ª appeared, I would just faint. I couldn¡¯t avoid those gross insects because of the shackles on one ankle. I was lost in thought with a troubled look on my face. Maybe this was a dream within a dream. Maybe I¡¯m in another dream right now¡­. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± No, that¡¯s not possible. The heavy feeling of the iron that bounded my ankle, and the damp underground moisture sticking to my skin were horribly vivid. A dream like this will never exist in the world because nobody calls this a dream. It was said that people become detached when something ridiculous becomes a reality, and that was exactly my case. I was living in a haze, ceaselessly in a daze as if I had just woken up, struggling to wrap my head around my situation. What happened? Last night on the Moonlight, I suffered from the worst motion sickness, and stood on the stern railing while the cold wind was blowing, watching the distant waves of the night. Then a strange man came up to me and said¡­. Suddenly, I felt like my feet were collapsing, and I belatedly looked around my body. ¡°Phew¡­ ¡° After confirming that I was in good health without any injuries or any unpleasant traces, a sigh of relief came out. Although my ankles and buttocks are a little exhausted. ¡­.No, wait a minute. Is this a situation where I can be relieved now? No motion sickness would cause someone to faint in such a noisy way, so it¡¯s clear that the men put something weird in the water. So this is¡­ ¡°It¡¯s a kidnapping¡­.¡± As soon as I realized it, I heard a sharp warning sound in my head. Of course, he couldn¡¯t have brought me here with good intentions. Even if nothing happens right now, they¡¯ll definitely show their true colors when they find out that I¡¯m awake. And the true color is probably¡­¡­. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± It was the cruel reality in front of me that I finally faced after the hazy sense as if I was walking on a cloud went away. I feel like my whole blood is cooling down. I had already exhausted my tears from my earlier nightmares as evidenced by my salty trails crusting down my face. Am I in the Principality of Lunoa? I didn¡¯t even know for how long I had been fainted or what time it was. Seeing that I do not feel extreme hunger, I may not have fainted for a long time as I thought, but if the drugs they used are still circulating in my body, the proper physiological action won¡¯t work¡­ At that moment, there was a sudden sound of movement from outside. Yes. At this point, he¡¯ll notice that I¡¯m awake. I closed my eyes in a miserable mood and leaned my back against the cold wall. It was not long after that that the old doorknob was heard turning. Unlike the noise outside the door, it seemed like only one person came in through the door. Soon the door closed, and the slow footsteps stopped in front of me. And then¡­¡­ Nothing happened.. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± What? Is he looking at my movements? I felt strange and frightened, but I was afraid to open my eyes. When I open my eyes, I have to accept the terrible reality that will happen to me. In other words, I was making a ridiculous avoidance. But, how much longer can I hold on to the poor trick of pretending to lose my consciousness again? Of course, I wouldn¡¯t be able to protect myself with this. He¡¯ll make me wake up even by pouring cold water on me. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± By the way, does it usually take this long to look at one¡¯s movements? I think it¡¯s been more than a minute¡­¡­. I could only hear one person coming in, but I could not hear the sound of him turning around and leaving the room. So it means that someone is still in front of me¡­¡­ Strangely, there was no movement. I kept my eyes closed and held my breath quietly, but my heart was pounding out of control. This is the first time I¡¯ve ever felt this kind of fear. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Beads of sweat dripped down on my eyebrows and ran down my eyelids. I lifted my trembling eyelids, feeling my palms sweaty. I¡¯ll bite my tongue if I have to. As a token of my resignation under the name of courage. But it was strange. As I opened my eyes, the person in front of me¡­¡­. ¡°¡­Troy?¡± It was only then that the crazy idea that this might really be a dream came back to me. Troy, who covered his mouth with his black gloved hand, stood obliquely and looked down at me. He burst into a small chuckle, and said, ¡°That¡¯s all you¡¯ve got to say?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± In this gloomy and dark space, his voice resounded deeper and more mellow. ¡°It¡¯s not up to my expectations. What I expected was, for example¡­¡­.¡± Suddenly, his long legs sank down, he and I were at the same eye level. Wearing loose clothes rather than wearing a cravat, he lacked a sense of formality¡ªrather surreal. A scent like dew, like roses, and like the smell of wet soil flowed through the silk shirt that showed his naked chest. ¡°A little more¡­¡± The moment his face got closer, I quickly swallowed my breath. His eyes, cold and transparent like an ice lake, were engraved with a pattern more delicate and elaborate than the petals and veins. Is it the sea or the universe? I suddenly became frightened.This man may be able to kill me without touching a finger. Alan chuckled at me, who forgot to blink. ¡°This place is unreasonable.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± I was still wandering in endless questions. So, is this the situation where Alan Leopold used someone to kidnap me? And then¡­¡­ Imprisoned, shackled? Then what¡¯s next? Logical reasoning means¡­.Kil¡­ ¡°But it¡¯s exquisite, the name.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Even if it was borrowed from a famous novel¡­.¡± Whispering languidly, Alan slowly got up. My gaze, not knowing what to express in the storm of fear, illusions, hatred and curiosity, was slowly lifted up along with him. Then Alan Leopold smiled faintly. That faint smile made my heart tremble. ¡°You seem to know. Everything.¡± Chapter 60 Chapter 60: Blackmail ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? ¡°I¡­¡± As I bit my lips with an awkward face, a maid in neat attire approached me with a stiff look on her face. ¡°Do you need anything?¡± ¡°N-no! That¡¯s not it¡­¡­.¡± Before I became Melissa Collins, that is, before the decline of my family¡¯s fortunes, there must have been servants in my house. But at least not in my memory. So naturally, I¡¯m not used to ordering someone. Even after everyone left, Mrs. Kerney and Julia were left behind, but these two are not just any maids. The point is, I can¡¯t get used to the maids here who run like crazy with every little gesture I make. These women, much more professional and expressionless than the people of Arch Hill, were just difficult for me. ¡°Well, I¡¯d like to be alone for a while¡­¡­. Can¡¯t you?¡± ¡°Alright. I¡¯ll be outside, so if you need anything, call me.¡± With those words, all the maids went away. Now I¡¯m the only one left in this gorgeous room. ¡°Phew¡­ ¡° I thought I would finally be able to reflect on my situation since I was finally alone, but I couldn¡¯t calm down. And I couldn¡¯t wrap my head around this situation. So¡­ Something really weird happened yesterday. I opened my eyes in a dark, unpleasant dungeon, and before my eyes a man who had the same appearance as Troy¡­¡­ ¡°It¡¯s Alan Leopold by all accounts¡­¡­.¡± ¡­was looking down at me. It became clear that Alan was the one who instigated the kidnapping using a low-quality method that made me grit my teeth. It was shocking to see that Sir Alan, the heir of the noble and exalted Leopold family, was acting like such a gangster. But what could be more shocking than the fact that he was really my stalker¡­¡­. It¡¯s something that makes you laugh. Well, he even used a beggar who smelled like a gutter to follow me. He even hurt Toby¡­¡­. He knew everything about Archie Hill¡¯s mansion and was watching me, so there must be countless ways to put pressure on a weak woman like me. He possessed incomparable wealth and power. So, I am engulfed in doubt again with renewed anger. What is the reason for bringing Melissa Collins here, and what is the purpose of this crazy show? When I woke up and faced Alan, I couldn¡¯t speak properly, let alone question him. Because everything is just unrealistic. All I could say was, ¡°Troy,¡± in my dream, as my whole soul was preoccupied to gauge whether it was real or not. Ironically. The fact that Alan Leopold and I were alone in that cold cell is already far from reality. But even though I¡¯ve been watching him for nearly a decade, I¡¯ve never seen that defenseless look¡­¡­ It made the situation even more unrealistic. I couldn¡¯t process his words, even though they entered my ears. ¡®You seem to know. Everything.¡¯ I don¡¯t know anything¡­¡­. What the hell is going on? Alan went out at the end of those words, and at the same time some of the maids came up and led me outside, who became frozen. As I walked through the underground corridors, led by maids who had no words or expressions, I was surprised at the sheer size of the dungeon¡­ And when I finally arrived above ground, I was shocked to find out that this place was not just a mansion, it was close to an old castle. I had to walk up the stairs in a hallway with no end in sight with sore legs. Then the maids washed me, dressed me, and combed me¡­¡­. When I came to my senses, I found a fancy dining hall that I had never even dreamed of and a huge table was set only for me. To my surprise, these ridiculous things happened so quickly. There was no room for admiration or lamentation. All I could think of was this: What the hell is going on here? A royal experience in an old castle? Or is it a new way of bullying? Naturally, my body, which had been stiff with tension for a long time, was not willing to welcome the feast of these splendid foods, and it was difficult to accept anything calmly. So, it was impossible for a proper meal to be possible, but I couldn¡¯t get up and leave these amazing plates full with beautiful food, so while I was fiddling with the innocent crystal glass for a long time, a maid came up and asked if the meal was over. ¡°¡­yes,¡± It was only then that I was guided to ¡°my room.¡± Speaking of this room, it is a space with antique dark green walls and curtains, a large bed that can accommodate three people, and an elegant reading table. It¡¯s probably because of the nice interior that makes it feel so cozy even though it¡¯s an incomparably large room compared to my room, which will be empty after losing the owner. ¡°Haa¡­¡± I sat down on a fluffy bed and thought, I can¡¯t forget what Alan did to me. Those were things that were absolutely unforgivable. Even if he made me a first-class passenger on the Moonlight that I would never have been able to set foot on in my life, even if he decorates me in a doll-like figure and makes me sit in front of a rich dining table or in a beautiful room¡­¡­ ¡°That doesn¡¯t mean it¡¯s not a sin to bring me here¡­..¡± This ridiculous luxury can never be a welcomed favor to me. I¡¯ve never even dreamed of something like this. Everything just feels like a stupid illusion for me. If he can use such dirty tricks to take me to this magnificent castle, then all this hospitality would be a device for a more terrible and twisted ending. ¡°¡­He¡¯s gone completely insane.¡± Even with that thought, I had been stroking the tabletop with a smooth texture for a long time. The dark colored walnut wood was as beautiful as it was enchanting. I¡¯ve always wanted to have a reading table like this one day. No, what am I thinking right now¡­. I managed to hold back my desire to bang my head on the desk and clenched my fists. The hard nails penetrated my delicate skin. ¡°I¡¯ve been strung along for long enough¡± I don¡¯t think I can ever understand Alan Leopold. But I have to find out everything I can about him. I have to investigate and observe every possible way so that I can find a way out of here. I can¡¯t die like this. Especially in this crazy way. I¡¯m the only one who can protect myself here. Closing my eyes as if I were determined, I shook the bell on the table. ¡°Did you call me?¡± The maid appeared as if she had been waiting. It was an expressionless expression and voice. ¡°I¡¯d like to ask you something. Is this the Principality of Lunoa?¡± ¡°Yes,¡± ¡°Oh¡­ ¡° I thought I might not get an answer. Unexpectedly, when I got a gentle answer, I somehow gained courage. ¡°Alan Leopold¡­¡­. Do you know why your master brought me here?¡± ¡°We don¡¯t know about that,¡± The maid immediately replied. It was absurd to see her acting like a person whose emotions had been castrated. However, we are the same women, and we are clearly classified as the weak in this society. It¡¯s a kind of bond, and it¡¯s never shallow. So I¡¯m sure I¡¯ll be able to get even a little sympathy from her. There is no way that an emotional appeal won¡¯t work. With such eagerness, I moved my lips. ¡°I drank the water his men gave me and fell into a deep sleep. And when I opened my eyes, I found myself in a cold cellar¡­¡­. No matter how much you obey his orders, are you okay with this situation? Even he and I have nothing to do with each other.¡­!¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Am I underestimating the people of the Leopold family? To them, Alan may not be a simple master. Even after hearing about his terrible misdeeds, I couldn¡¯t see the slightest agitation¡­¡­. I decided to change my strategy. ¡°Well, where is he now? I need to talk to him.¡± ¡°Not here,¡± ¡°¡­.he¡¯s not here?¡± Where did he go after leaving me, who was brought here without telling anything.¡­? ¡°We don¡¯t even know when he will come.¡± ¡°Then¡­..So what¡¯s your role? What did he instruct?¡± ¡°It¡¯s our job to help you relax here. So if you need anything, please call me.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± We were obviously having a conversation, but we couldn¡¯t communicate at all. I felt like I wanted to rip my hair out in frustration. ¡°Can I get out of here?¡± ¡°It is also our role to prevent that. As a reminder, there are guards at every exit of the mansion.¡± Are you crazy? ¡°Some¡­¡­I think there is some misunderstanding. He has no reason to do this to me. Talk to Sir Alan¡­¡­.¡± I continued with a feeling of despair. ¡°Well, will you tell me when he gets back? Please call him here. I¡¯ll be waiting, so please¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I¡¯m sorry, but there¡¯s no one in this house who can tell him to come.¡± ¡°Huh¡­¡± What the hell is going on here? Why are you doing this to me? The rising frustration and anger seemed to strangle me. ¡°You¡¯re making fun of me now¡­¡­? You told me to tell you if I needed anything¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Yes, if you want to wash yourself or need a refreshment,¡± ¡°Now what you¡¯re saying now¡­¡­!¡± A thought flashed through my mind as I was about to cry at the maid¡¯s calm reply. I don¡¯t know if these days are really ignorant or hiding Alan¡¯s intentions, but at least having them as my attendants, or even watchers, doesn¡¯t mean that the terrible thing he¡¯s trying to do isn¡¯t going to happen any time soon. If that¡¯s the case, ¡°What if I jump out of the window?¡± I said it while pointing at the white curtain that covered one wall. It¡¯s not hard to guess that there¡¯s a big window behind it. But the maid was not in the least disturbed. But the maid was not agitated at all. ¡°It¡¯s no use because there are iron bars on it.¡± ¡°Ha,¡± So, are you saying that this mansion is a huge cage? ¡°Well¡­ what if I bite my tongue?¡± ¡°What? What are you talking about¡­.¡± ¡°It¡¯s your job to make me feel comfortable. If I die, then you will be disobeying your master¡¯s orders.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Great. This is it. ¡°Tell your master I¡¯ll have to see him when he gets back or I¡¯ll die here.¡± ¡°T-that¡¯s ridiculous.¡± ¡°It doesn¡¯t make sense. I could die right now because I don¡¯t even want to live.¡± This creepy sentence is, of course, a lie. I didn¡¯t leave the kingdom to die. So I will definitely get out of here alive, ¡°Understood?¡± Then I¡¯ll use my pen to expose your true ugly face, Alan. Chapter 61 Chapter 61: A Catalyst for the Novelist ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? Even in this chaotic situation, I was sure that the maids would not be able to harm me arbitrarily, and it was not wrong. They are excellent servants who thoroughly perform a given task. It is all thanks to it that my violent threats, which I said I would jump out of the window and bite my tongue on the first day I woke up here, worked. But there was one problem that I had never expected. ¡°He hasn¡¯t come home yet.¡± ¡°What?¡± Alan Leopold is not coming back. It had already been three days since he left the house. I know that the issue of his succession to management rights is at stake in this new Lunoa business, but¡­¡­. ¡°He didn¡¯t come yesterday?¡± Even so, isn¡¯t it a bit too much to stay out for three days? Does he have a villa other than this huge mansion? This isn¡¯t even Sourn. More than that, what kind of person, who kidnaps and confines a person, just leaves the house¡­. ¡°I¡¯ll tell you when he gets back, so please wait a little longer.¡± ¡°¡­I understand.¡± To sum up, somehow the waiting time for him is getting longer. What the hell is going on? What I¡¯ve found out over the past three days is that the place I¡¯m in is an annex¡ªit looks like a castle no matter how you look at it¡ªto the west of the mansion. Of course, the owner of this magnificent mansion will stay in the main building, so even if he comes back, we will not meet unless I¡¯m asked to come to the separate building. Life here is very calm, contrary to my imagination, which was full of anxiety and extreme things. But I feel stifled because the maids accompany me every time I leave this room, whether I¡¯m going to eat or take a bath, and I can¡¯t leave the annex, but first¡­¡­ I¡¯m still uncomfortable with being waited on hand and foot like a noble lady of a great family, and to live a luxurious and comfortable life than I thought. However, thanks to this treatment, I was able to shake off concerns that I might not even be able to face Alan Leopold when he returned. On the first day, I was not in a good mood and I had no sense and was like being under the influence of evil, but, in fact, Alan Leopold is a model for all unmarried men and a perfect gentleman. At least superficially. So, if I make a fuss like I¡¯m going to bite my tongue, of course, he¡¯ll listen to the story. Of course, I don¡¯t know what answer will come out of Alan¡¯s mouth when I pour out my wrathful questions. But whatever it is, he must have his own reasons, and if he talks well, it wouldn¡¯t be unreasonable to register on time for the fall semester. It won¡¯t be easy to forgive him completely, but I won¡¯t curse you forever if it doesn¡¯t affect my studies. So please don¡¯t ruin my education Sir Alan. * * * Three days ago, the maids led me into the room and handed me my shabby baggage. There were notes and pens in the bag, but still I could not write any love stories, and of course the only way I could spend my time was to concentrate on reading. But I had a fatal problem; my suitcase was so small that I could only bring two books¡­¡­. What is surprising here is the question of whether there are any books to read¡ªI didn¡¯t have high expectations, and at best, I thought the boring books in the Lunoan language were going to be offered¡ªIt is the fact that what the maids gave to me were in Sournaire, which were also quite good and colorful novels and collections of poems. These books seemed to be from the library of the main house, which Alan, the owner of the mansion, had brought directly from the kingdom. I asked the maids if his hobby was reading because he had an impressive eye for books and also it was a collection that no ordinary reader could have, but no answer came back. When it comes to their master, it is no longer surprising that they become excessively reserved. Because he¡¯s not an ordinary master. More than that, when I looked at the books that the maids had brought me, I noticed familiar titles, for example, ¡°It¡¯s a very famous work, so I¡¯m sure it is, but¡­¡­.¡± ¡°These books¡­.¡± When I came across the books Alan Leopold had picked up for me in front of an old bookstore in Florin¡­¡­ I had goosebumps all over my neck. Would it be too presumptuous to feel like it is not a mere coincidence? The more painful fact is that these are exactly the two books I brought to the Principality¡­¡­. I don¡¯t even understand how I felt when I was packing, and I don¡¯t even want to think about it anymore because I regret it a lot. When I was in Archie Hill, I only read the books in my grandfather¡¯s study, and I never even took those books out of my bag. ¡°¡­I don¡¯t even know my mind.¡± Anyway, before I go to bed, I take a bath in a petal-floating bathtub¡ªit¡¯s very uncomfortable for someone to wash me up, but I can¡¯t help but accept it as rejection doesn¡¯t work¡ªand when I wake up, I have a nice meal, fragrant tea time, and write my diary¡­¡­. One day, while I was helplessly immersed in this ridiculous life, I heard an urgent knock. ¡°Miss,¡± Before I could answer, the door burst open and a maid came in. Her tone was no different from usual, but somehow she looked tense. I had a hunch then. ¡°No way¡­ ¡° ¡°The young master is back.¡± It had been exactly a week since I woke up in the basement of the mansion. * * * The maid said she couldn¡¯t bring Alan Leopold here, and I rose without hesitation and followed her. There were no complaints as the location was not important. However, as I hurried to the main building of the mansion and walked down the bright hallways, my mind gradually became blank. It¡¯s true that I¡¯ve been waiting for Alan to come back, but my nervous heart trembled at the thought of meeting him alone. I wasn¡¯t sure where to start the story or whether I could convey everything I needed to convey in a coherent manner. A fresh green afternoon poured in from the window of the hallway, where I cast my eyes, as I rubbed my sweaty palms over my clothes. As I was walking down the corridor, feeling the motion sickness that had weighed on me on the huge passenger ship, I tried to shake off my terrible senses while looking at the fresh natural scenery. In the meantime, I was at the door. ¡°Well, wait a minute. I¡­¡± ¡°Master, I have brought her here.¡± Instead of giving me time to catch my breath, the maid burst open the door. Since she passed the long and solemn stairs and hallways, it would not be unreasonable to assume that her heart was already prepared. ¡°Wai¡­.¡± I was pushed through the doorway in an instant. The room was in the shape of a dignified office, and the inside was filled with a cold and subtle air enough to make you forget the season. The man sitting on a huge table inside the room was completely obscured by the large newspaper he was reading. But I couldn¡¯t process who the fingers wrapped in black smooth gloves, holding the newspaper belonged to. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± At that moment, I heard the door slam behind my back. All my thoughts stopped. A cool, deep voice followed. ¡°Here you are,¡± It was a strange distant sound that made my whole body relaxed. ¡°How are you doing?¡± Folding the newspaper down onto the table, he smiled faintly. I froze again. ¡°You must have had a lot to say to me.¡± ¡°¡­you¡­why me¡­¡­.¡± Despairingly, Melissa Collins had no immunity towards those blue-gray eyes. All I could do was tremble my clenched fist and bite my lips with a painful look. ¡°Let¡¯s sit down first.¡± Then he got up and sat down on the sofa in front of the table. As I stared blankly at the sight of his beautiful body slumbering on the dark brown leather sofa, his long, straight legs overlapping with a noble movement, he urged me in a low voice. ¡°What are you doing, not sitting down?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± I couldn¡¯t resist the gentle, overbearing voice, and I couldn¡¯t stand still and endure his cold gaze, so I took a trembling step and sat down in front of him. ¡°Sir Alan, I¡­¡­.¡± Please, please, calm down, Melissa. He¡¯s Alan Leopold, and this is his castle. It is impossible for me to subdue him. But I don¡¯t have any obligation to this journey in fear. ¡°¡­why did you kidnap me?¡± I said it! I wondered if my heart was going to come out together, but fortunately, I spoke out safely. I¡¯m afraid of what a terrible answer he¡¯s going to give me¡­¡­. ¡°Kidnap.¡± But I didn¡¯t know this would be the reaction. I can¡¯t believe you¡¯re slowly folding your arms, raising your chin, looking down at me and saying that kind of arsenic. ¡°I don¡¯t think that¡­.that kind of attitude is proper in this situation. Your position in the kingdom¡­¡­ I don¡¯t think you don¡¯t know¡­¡­.¡± ¡°You can try again,¡± (to speak) ¡°H-how could you have used drugs against someone as weak as me.¡± ¡°I drugged you?¡± At that moment Alan Leopold scoffed. That arrogant smile drove me mad. ¡°¡­Are you going to keep it a secret because there¡¯s no evidence? What about me waking up in a cold dungeon? If you think there¡¯s an eternal secret in the world¡­¡­.¡± I barely added, as I gasped and breathed. ¡°¡­You¡¯ve miscalculated.¡± My whole body and even my exhaled breath were shaking noticeably, but I didn¡¯t take my eyes off him. He didn¡¯t look away from me either. As if standing over a railing, my precarious and anxious heart screamed as if it were about to fall. I¡¯m sure I¡¯ve had this feeling one day. The person who gave me this feeling, as always,¡­ It was Alan. A moment of silence seemed eternal. His red lips finally moved. ¡°Are you surprised?¡± What do you mean surprised by what? That you stalked me while hiding your identity? That you¡¯ve caused harm to people around me? Or did you use a bunch of scoundrels to put me to sleep and bring me here at your will? The fact that I¡¯m gradually becoming powerless because I can¡¯t refuse your unilateral and ridiculous favor? ¡°I¡¯m sorry to put you to sleep in an uncomfortable place. But Melissa, you¡¯re a writer.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Isn¡¯t the moment when imagination becomes a reality the best catalyst for a novelist¡¯s writing?¡± ¡°What¡­?¡± ¡°Didn¡¯t you stop writing recently?¡± Alan added, without taking his eyes off me, who had only licked lips, doubting my ears. ¡°I bought this old castle only to present that moment.¡± Chapter 62 Chapter 62: I Don¡¯t Love You Anymore ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? (T/N: Alan now addresses Melissa as ¡°??¡± which literally means, ¡®Dear¡¯, ¡®Darling¡¯, ¡®My Love¡¯, ¡®Honey¡¯. In short it¡¯s a very sweet way of using ¡®you¡¯. So I¡¯ll use these words whenever he addresses her as ¡°??¡±) ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? What did I just hear? ¡°What do you mean¡­.¡± ¡°Exactly what I just said¡± Alan responded casually, touching the corner of his eyes. As if talking about the weather or past social events. ¡°While I was looking for a place to stay in the Principality, I found this old-fashioned mansion. There¡¯s a dungeon here.¡± ¡­So, you mean you bought this mansion to let me go through the scene of waking up in a cold dungeon? Just for such an absurd reason? ¡°Because only a few hundred years ago, prisoners of war were common, so it is not surprising.¡± With a stunning picturesque smile, and behind his back a dazzling summer was draped like waves. It¡¯s late afternoon autumn of the beginning of the year, with shadows hanging down in the shape of leaves. ¡°That means¡­¡± I suddenly became angry at the fact that the season outside and he, who was hiding his dark thoughts more than anyone else, were so beautiful. ¡°You can keep me there again¡­ does it mean¡­?¡± ¡°If you desire?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± As I made no reply with a red face, Alan smiled slowly once more. Like a predator with its prey in front¡­¡­ very lazily. ¡°I don¡¯t plan to do that because the purpose has been achieved.¡± Not long after he rang the bell on the table, a trolley containing tea and refreshments entered the office. Of course I was at a loss for words. Does he think this conversation is something to talk about while drinking tea? How I am facing him right now¡­¡­ Do you really think I¡¯m going to let this slide? ¡°Drink.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Instead of answering, I took a deep breath, waiting for the maids to leave the office, and when he and I were left alone again, I squeezed the hem of my clothes tightly. It was an alternative to biting my lip. ¡°Why did you kidnap me?¡± I was confused, but I had something to say. ¡°¡­of course, listening to your answer doesn¡¯t mean I¡¯ll forgive you.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t mean to insult your family, but have you been taught to speak that way to the person who saved your life?¡± ¡°Save¡­?¡± ¡°You¡¯re a very demanding woman.¡± Cold eyes and strangely twisted lips, as if they didn¡¯t contain any emotion. At that sight I felt my blood cool down slowly. ¡°You said you wouldn¡¯t chase me anymore! And then you¡¯ll be on board, and you were with those filthy men too¡­¡­!¡± ¡°That¡¯s too much of a misunderstanding.¡± ¡°What?¡± Alan¡¯s head tilted gently. It was as if my dull heart was being cut out by that bored gaze. ¡°I have no hobby of drugging women. There¡¯s no his highness anywhere and I was simply on my way to the principality, Miss Melissa Collins.¡± ¡°But there must have been other ships, why¡ª¡± ¡°If it¡¯s not that ship, what ship do you want me to take?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± The only option for him is the ship that some people will never ride in their lifetime. He gives me a sense of deprivation without fail. The inside of my throat stung like a thorn. ¡°Well, how do you explain my presence here and what I¡¯m here for? How am I supposed to understand this situation?¡± ¡°Are you trying to live up to my expectations? Or¡­ ¡° Alan, who muttered in a low-pitched voice, continued, stroking the snow-white cravat. ¡°I brought you here, didn¡¯t I? My dear¡± ¡°What are you talking about¡­?¡± ¡°I thought I offered you a helping hand, darling. When you were in danger.¡± After he had finished speaking, Alan lifted his cup and drank tea silently. I am angry at the absurd nonsense, but I am fascinated by his unruly appearance.I hated myself for being angered by that absurd nonsense, yet appreciating his innocence as if possessed, as I was overcome with the urge to kiss the small, shaky neck of the neck. ¡°¡­Say it so I can understand why you kidnapped me here.¡± ¡°Ha,¡± He burst into laughter as the teacup and saucer collided softly. Then he looked at me again. It was a sharp gaze that pierced my body and even penetrated my heart. ¡°I like your novel, dear because it changed my daily life.¡± ¡°This¡­¡± I was at a loss for words. Yes, he was my one and only muse. All of my writing contains Alan in one form or another. So, at first glance, it may sound like there is no more ecstatic praise than this, but¡­¡­, I¡¯ve never shown Alan my novel. He used a secret method that was never allowed, at his will. Did he take out a notebook from the carriage that took me home on the day of the heavy snow? Maybe he has already read the novel I sent to the academy because in Florin, it¡¯s faster to count the things he can¡¯t do than the things he can do. The point is that if you thought I would be happy with this kind of praise, it would be all your misunderstanding¡­¡­. Just because you¡¯re my source of inspiration doesn¡¯t mean that all my writings are written in the hope that you¡¯ll see. I opened my eyes again. ¡°Are you trying to say that I am the cause of this? I never meant to do that, as long as you¡­¡­!¡± ¡°Yes, Melissa. Darling, you are not the cause. It¡¯s all up to me.¡± ¡°That¡­¡­Is that what you are going to say now?¡± His brazen and arrogant manner made my hands tremble. Alan Leopold, whom I¡¯ve been watching for years, has always been at the center of the topic, but never got close to people. I just assumed it was due to his unsocial nature. I shuddered at the fact that there was a little commonality between Alan, who was infinitely dazzling wherever he was, and me, who floated around like dust. Why didn¡¯t I know? All those sides of Alan Leopold¡­¡­. ¡°Why are you so angry? Dear I¡¯ve never done you any harm.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I¡¯ve only given you what you wanted.¡± The fact that it was due to his arrogance. ¡°The things I want¡­..?¡± Alan moved his lips as if he had been waiting. ¡°I¡¯ve taken you out of the house and the society you¡¯ve been so eager to leave. There¡¯s no need to suffer from unwanted marriage anymore.¡± ¡°I¡ª¡± ¡°And the Principality of Lunoa, which you have longed for¡­¡­. Oh, forget about the academy the royal family offered you. I will create a much better environment for you.¡± ¡°It¡¯s trash¡­.!¡± ¡°An environment where you can write your novel. This, too, is what you wanted, dear.¡± He alternated between provoking opposition and acceptance and confused me. He provoked opposition and acceptance alternately, confusing me. But in the next words, I lost all my fighting spirit. ¡°And lastly darling, what you want¡­ your Alan Leopold,¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Do you still have something to say?¡± Alan¡¯s manner, which seemed to be easily shaken off, encouraged me to pour tea on him. ¡°I¡­ I don¡¯t want you.¡± Alan eyebrows slowly moved up and down as he stared at me, who murmured while clenching my teeth. His beautiful eyebrows that I loved¡­¡­. Perhaps I should pour tea on myself. ¡°Really? Your love letter was too desperate.¡± The moment he scoffed in a low voice, I experienced the sensation of blood rushing all over my face. I felt dizzy as if my head were going to explode. ¡°That love letter¡­..! It¡¯s just some poetry, It¡¯s true that it¡¯s about you, but I¡ª¡± ¡°If only I could have only one season in my life¡­¡­.¡± Ha ha, I held my breath and shut my mouth. ¡°I will live a winter that resembles you. It was an impressive pitch.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°If dawn makes your eyes water, and if only I could become the wind and stroke your hair and cheeks, I could throw away my soul.¡­ You even wrote that you wanted to be my shadow.¡± He remembered all the contents of the poem, which were not fully etched in my mind. How can I describe this feeling? A sense of humiliation? But that¡¯s a poem I wrote¡­¡­. Can I really say that he is insulting me? ¡°¡­¡­.¡± I felt my back get wet and bit my soft lip painfully. An unbearably difficult moment was passing by. ¡°It¡¯s the first time I¡¯ve seen such an explicit love poem.¡± ¡°I¡­ ¡° ¡°I don¡¯t know how far you imagined me¡­¡­. I don¡¯t know.¡± He laughed slyly. I felt completely bullied. At the same time, it is a terrifying thing to think of me in a dream of passionately pressing my lips down all over Alan Leopold¡¯s face and body. Twisting over my endless thirst for him, I I rushed to drink every drop from him* ¡ªI am truly vuglar and he was so modest.¡­.. I can¡¯t even picture how indecent I must have looked. Indecently spreading my legs. (*she¡¯s referring to her sex dreams) ¡°Your face is red,¡± His hand covered his mouth, as if he couldn¡¯t stand it because it was funny. But the eyes that looked at me were not smiling at all. Rather, he was hiding a chill. A dreadful thought suddenly came to mind. Could it be that he was displeased with my one-sided love? The love poem that I poured out without hiding my love for him was so terrible that it was clearly engraved in his memory¡­¡­? Indeed, I had received a letter from a stalker with these words. What if all this was done to retaliate against me? What if it really is? But I didn¡¯t mean to deliver that poem¡­¡­¡­. My heart was on fire, and I was afraid that the spark would burn me down, so I had to throw up somehow. It was an accident that the letter got into his hands. It¡¯s not my will.¡­. ¡°I¡­ sin¡­¡­!¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡­..But is this something to be sorry about? When you¡¯re being courted by someone you don¡¯t want, you just have to politely decline it. Besides, it wasn¡¯t even a proper courtship. There is no law anywhere that it is okay to torment people in this way just because they receive a letter of one sided heart. I don¡¯t even love Alan Leopold anymore. I decided to take out the greatest courage I could. I couldn¡¯t help my eyelashes trembling wildly, but I moved my lips without taking my eyes off him. ¡°I¡¯ve had a crush on you for quite a long time¡­¡­ It¡¯s true.¡± ¡°It sounds like it¡¯s all in the past.¡± ¡°Yes, not any more.¡± Then Alan froze. ¡°I won¡¯t deny what happened in the past. But just because you were offended by my feelings¡­¡­ It can¡¯t be the reason for all the bad things you¡¯ve done to me, Sir Alan.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I¡¯m telling you, I don¡¯t love you anymore. There¡¯s nothing left but hatred. All my memories of you are painful, even at this moment¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Melissa Collins,¡± At last, when his sharp voice called my name, my words were swallowed up. ¡°Are you serious?¡± Chapter 63 Chapter 63: Maurice¡ª The Fugitive ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? ¡°Melissa Collins,¡± he asked. ¡°Are you serious?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± With determined eyes, I told myself that I don¡¯t love him anymore and there was nothing left except hatred, but I didn¡¯t mean it. So I closed my eyes. The man I fear is no longer in sight. ¡°¡­ Alan Leopold,¡± So tell it, Melissa. ¡°Your excuse to help me is nothing but nonsense. But even if it¡¯s true, it¡¯s not a good thing if the other person doesn¡¯t want help. I don¡¯t think you don¡¯t know that¡­¡­.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°You brought me here on your own, and everyone would be astonished if the kingdom knew.¡± Alan replied immediately. ¡°What an emotional woman you are,¡± ¡°Tha¡­¡± ¡°Stop deceiving yourself.¡± Even though I am a little angry, I stand firmly but when I opened my eyes again, his gaze, still fixed on me, was straight and unwavering. ¡°How can such a passionate love turn into hatred so easily?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°That¡¯s ridiculous.¡± His cold expression, as if offended by my words, strangely encouraged me. ¡°Don¡¯t talk about love. No words can justify your past actions. You¡­¡­ ¡° So it was all because of him that I was swept away by this impulse. ¡°Do you even love me?¡± Troy, who looks like you, has locked up the woman just because he loves her. Even if it¡¯s not a very beautiful form, there¡¯s that kind of love in the world. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± But, as expected, Alan didn¡¯t answer. I didn¡¯t think he would agree to it, but my heart became unbearably cold. ¡°Look, that¡¯s not true. For you, it was just for fun. Your splendor and dazzling¡­¡­ In a life full of thrills, I¡­¡­.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± I wanted him to say something, but no matter how much I stretched my words, there was no answer coming back. He just looked at me with an icy face with his lips slightly covered, with his chin resting slowly on his interlaced hands. When that cold gaze ran down my cheek as if it was stroking my cheek, I became utterly miserable¡­. ¡°A trifling deviation, a play¡­¡­ Maybe it was a tool for low sadism¡­¡­.¡± Around the time when I started to get confused whether the words my lips were saying to rebuke him or to hurt myself. A gentle knock pierced my ears. ¡°Young master,¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± At this rate, I was thinking that tears might spill out of my eyes. All sorts of uncontrollable emotions were on the verge of becoming a huge tsunami and engulfing me. ¡°I came to meet you. You said you¡¯d stop by for a while because you forgot something, but it¡¯s been too long¡­¡­.¡± The elderly gentleman who opened the door looked like a butler or aide. When Alan looked back at him with a cold face, the butler who was holding the gold-rimmed monocle stopped talking in hurry. ¡°What do I do, I have to go.¡± Alan shrugged and slowly got up. Funny enough, I could do nothing but look up at him with a sad face. Like an animal abandoned in the rain, trembling all over. Alan Leopold¡¯s butler pulled his jacket from a hanger on one side of the office and took it to his master¡¯s back, and Alan stretched out his arm behind him, as if familiar with it, and accepted it. Watching the series of processes, I felt as if I had become invisible air for the first time in a while. This sensation reminded me of a social event full of gorgeous people, especially an afternoon when Viola had injured her leg and I had to endure it alone. The street of Florin, where he turned away coldly under the burning sunset, and the night when I secretly peeped at a masquerade full of firecrackers and lights, leaning against the railings on the ship. And all of a sudden, the fact that I was looking at Alan Leopold at all those moments became clear and silent. In those countless scenes, I was always shabby, and he shone with infinite splendor. Even at this very moment. Then the two men, turning around, took a graceful step toward the door. It was ridiculous of me to just sit there absentmindedly. The past week, waiting for Alan Leopold, felt really silly. When they are gone, I shall be led back into the room by the maid. Until he returns to the mansion, it will be my only routine to prepare words and expressions that will shake him even a little. ¡°¡­Crazy.¡± Alan Leopold is crazy. Do the employees who serve him know that their master is crazy? I guess I¡¯m just as crazy as him as I am sitting here with a casual look on my face. It wouldn¡¯t be strange if I scream, curse, and vent my anger, but I lowered my head as if I¡¯m adapting to this situation, and bit my lips. Of course, it¡¯s nothing. I¡¯m just helpless. I don¡¯t know what to do¡­¡­. So I endured the growing self-hatred scratching my heart, and waited for this moment to pass. Come and read on our website wuxia worldsite. Thanks At that very moment, a smooth touch gently touched my lower lip. It was Alan¡¯s hand that I didn¡¯t know when he came. ¡°You¡¯ll get hurt,¡± It was only then that I realized that there was a fishy smell on the tip of my tongue and the fact that his wrist was a little paler than I remembered, but still had an alluring scent. My dazed gaze slowly moved up his arm and rested on his beautiful lips for a moment. But I could not bear to look into his eyes, and fell feverishly over the cold tea cup. At that time, a gentle low tone was heard. ¡°You don¡¯t have to love me for this to happen Melissa.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Will there really be a day when I can understand this man? * * * ¡°¡­will soon stop me and kill me.¡± The heavy rain that had been pouring since the morning lasted all afternoon. The smell of rusty rain and moisture floated around the room all day. I had no appetite, so I only ate a slice of bread and a cup of coffee today. At first, the rich table and tea table set up only for me three times a day just felt difficult and sinful, so I tried to force it into place. It¡¯s because of my stupid personality. But from some point on, I didn¡¯t think of anything else. I don¡¯t care if it¡¯s all right. The foods were placed perfectly on an expensive plate, therefore, you had to aloof to not feel any sincerity from it. Even more so if all the thoughts and sufferings that come from it are all under his plan. Anyway, I¡¯m adjusting to life here. No, it¡¯s nothing more than a disgusting self-defense, after all. I¡¯m learning to resign. ¡°Haa¡­¡± As I was filling out my diary with helpless letters, my mouth suddenly became bitter. It is natural. I can¡¯t possibly write beautiful sentences. Reading a book is no longer enjoyable, and it seems that most of the time is spent just blankly immersed in thoughts. The lotion applied on the skin is fragrant and the feel of silk on the body is ecstatically soft, but the luxurious and valuable things obtained here do not inspire me at all. No more. Knock, knock As I was rolling my pen helplessly on the beautiful reading table and brooding over my new disillusionment, I suddenly wondered if I should ask for a cup of tea. So I waved the bell with an emotionless face, and suddenly a short knock stopped my hand. ¡°What is it?¡± It¡¯s not dinner time yet, nor is it bath time. Did she bring a new book? Or does she want to change the bed sheets? Of course, the sheets were replaced as soon as I woke up this morning, but the maids here are perfectionists who are so close to paranoid. So it¡¯s not surprising that they would change the sheets many times a day because of slight stains or minor wrinkles. ¡°¡­Come in.¡± However, it was not the maid who appeared when the door opened. A pale man in a neat navy suit without a wrinkle was polite to me. Embarrassed, I forgot to get up and just watched him slowly raise his head. ¡°My name is Maurice.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°From today, I¡¯m going to read your novel.¡± He looked like a Lunoian at first glance, but he spoke with an astonishingly skillful Sournaire accent. However, I was stunned by the unexpectedness of his words. ¡°¡­What?¡± Alan Leopold¡¯s voice, saying that my academy for the two years I was supposed to be enrolled in was garbage, and that he would make a better environment, suddenly revived and buzzed in my head. ¡°¡­Hello, thank you for your kind words, but I came to study abroad with royal support. I decided to register at the academy¡ª¡± ¡°Mr. Leopold told me to continue writing the novel.¡± He interrupted me as if he hadn¡¯t heard me. Nevertheless, the polite tone was strangely intrusive. Yes, he sent me another paper doll. I replied, staring darkly at his dark brown hair, which was neatly combed. ¡°If it is that novel, I wouldn¡¯t finish it because I don¡¯t want to continue writing anymore.¡± ¡°Miss,¡± ¡°Above all, the manuscript of the novel is owned by the Royal Academy of Sourne. It left my hand*. Unless you ask the Academy to return it to you¡ª¡± (* The enthusiasm to write the novel) ¡°That¡¯s no problem,¡± The man named Maurice cut me off again. Then he suddenly gave me a pile of papers. The first letter on the front page is¡­¡­. {Paradise on the Moon} Read latest Chapters at Wuxia World . Site Only ¡°How can this be¡­¡­.¡± As if he couldn¡¯t accept it and didn¡¯t care about me biting my lips, the man murmured as his bright green eyes gleamed through the transparent glasses. ¡°You must finish this novel with me.¡± His eyes were almost like snakes¡¯ eyes. ¡°For him,¡± Chapter 64 Chapter 64: The Essence of an Author ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? After that day, Mr. Maurice came to visit me three times a week, exactly at the same time. Unlike his straightforward face, he had a shrewdness, so to speak, capable of speaking the perfect Souniare, but ignoring the questions he didn¡¯t want to answer. Yet, perhaps because he came to teach me, he was distinctly different from the maids who answered like machines. As I chatted with him about one thing or another¡ªalbeit somewhat limited¡ªI realized how thirsty I was for a conversation. Today, he came to my room and sat like an expressionless plaster statue. It was the second day I faced him. ¡°So¡­¡­ Mr. Maurice.¡± ¡°Yes.¡± It wasn¡¯t easy for me to sit face to face with a strange man casually, but I was talking to him quite skillfully. I don¡¯t know if I¡¯ve grown up or if I¡¯m just adapting to this strange environment. ¡°You¡¯re Alan Leopold¡¯s¡ª¡± ¡°You should address him ¡®Sir¡¯ Alan, or ¡®Mr.¡¯ Leopold. It¡¯s not lady-like.¡± Although it often baffles me that he¡¯s unpretentious as a young man. ¡°Were you Sir Alan¡¯s tutor?¡± ¡°¡­¡­If you ask me anything else, I¡¯ll be happy to answer it. For example, what kind of life did the great writers of the Principality lead and where did they get their inspiration?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± I had no desire to learn literature from him because I want to take classes at the academy. I wanted to have a passionate study life while receiving constructive stimulation from other students. I¡¯m nervous just imagining it, but building friendships little by little. In addition, it would be great if I could share some feelings close to love while having dinner with someone from time to time and walking the streets together at night. Those were the things I dreamed of on the ship coming to Lunoa. It¡¯s not an uninspiring routine that goes around like this every day. ¡°I told you, Mr. Maurice. You can¡¯t make me write again.¡± ¡°I expected it to take time, but it¡¯s no problem because you¡¯re staying here much longer than that.¡± ¡°¡­¡­I don¡¯t intend to stay here long.¡± He gave a strange look for a moment when I replied back in a bewildering manner. However, he regained his original dry face in an instant, as if it was a mistake that I saw such an expression. ¡°Miss, I understand you¡¯re uncomfortable with me sitting here.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Your novel is a masterpiece chosen by the Royal Academy, and you¡¯ve never been properly educated about it. In other words, you have achieved this wonderful achievement entirely on your own.¡± He really spoke like a machine. In a tone that doesn¡¯t feel a bit of emotion or temperature. ¡°It is no wonder that an unproven stranger suddenly offers to teach literature.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t think I¡¯m going to¡­¡­.¡± ¡°However, there must be a reason why you stopped writing.¡± Reason why I stopped writing. Does Maurice really want to know that? If I start talking about why, he¡¯ll pretend to be a stranger who doesn¡¯t know Sournaire again. ¡°Miss, aren¡¯t you in pain, too?¡± ¡°Am I in pain?¡± ¡°Because you are a writer. Isn¡¯t that why you came to the Principality? It¡¯s socializing season right now, so if you were still in Sorne, you wouldn¡¯t have had time to focus on writing.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­That¡¯s true.¡± It¡¯s been months since I didn¡¯t write properly. In early spring, when the wind was still cold, I had not written anything down since I sent my novel to the academy. The thirst for writing was quenched by reading. It¡¯s also my most noble hobby. But, of course, the act of reading did not fully satisfy me, and Mr. Maurice saw it right through. ¡°I don¡¯t know how you, Alan Leopold, have a manuscript of my novel, but¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Miss, title¡± [T/N: as in address alan respectfully] ¡°The academy wouldn¡¯t have given you permission. Are you working behind the scenes?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Yes, I didn¡¯t expect to hear an answer. With the sudden rush of heat, I gently rolled up my blue sleeves that were slightly see-through. It¡¯s new, but it¡¯s quality and the material is so good that it makes you admire it. So are all the dresses I¡¯ve been wearing since I came here. In addition to clothes, this annex is filled with only beautiful and valuable things, so there is hardly anything lacking. As if a whole town had been moved. It¡¯s strange to think of Alan, who would have ordered all of these glitzy objects to be brought to the Duchy, but it¡¯s not hard to imagine that he would have enough to fill a few rooms with dresses and shoes for his lover. His wealth, and such a beautiful lover. There¡¯s no guarantee that his lover is necessarily one person¡­. ¡°¡­¡­In any case, it wasn¡¯t just that the novel I was writing went out of hand that stopped me from writing.¡± ¡°Is there any other reason?¡± Mr. Morris raised his thin-rimmed glasses and asked with a serious face. Like a detective trying to interrogate me, or a counselor trying to provide professional help. I was willing to get along with him. I want him to think that I¡¯m more of an ill patient than a suspect. [T/N: she would rather he pity her then be suspicious of her] ¡°Have you read my novel?¡± ¡°Of course.¡± ¡°As you can see, it¡¯s a love story. It¡¯s kind of desperate, and you might have been a little confused because I only wrote the middle part.¡± ¡°I¡¯m not confused. The atmosphere was familiar.¡± He spoke calmly. Indeed, the author of {The Fugitive} is one of the leading novelists of the Principality of Lunoa, so the dark atmosphere may be familiar. Thanks to Mr. Maurice¡¯s bluntness, the fact that I was sitting face to face with someone who read my clumsy writing didn¡¯t make me want to run away. More than I thought. Come and read on our website wuxia worldsite. Thanks Thanks to this, I was able to continue the story by pretending to be calm. ¡°It may sound funny, and there is nothing to say if you think it is the limit of a female writer, but I will tell you the truth. I¡­¡­ I can¡¯t move my pen unless it¡¯s a love story.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± His green eyes seemed to linger for a moment on the few hardcover books¡ª all romance novels¡ªpiled up on my table. ¡°You are very reserved, but you know my situation. Who was the character who became the motif of my novel?¡± ¡°¡­¡­I¡¯m not laughing¡± [at you] He continued: ¡°I don¡¯t even consider it a limitation.¡±[1] But that was actually the answer I wanted to hear most from Mr. Maurice. The short answer of an honest man who doesn¡¯t seem to have any talent for making a fuss or sedating a scoundrel can loosen my hardened heart. It¡¯s good. ¡°Mr. Maurice, do you write, too?¡± ¡°Yes. And I like love stories the most, too. Both reading and writing.¡± ¡°¡­¡­Ah.¡± A love story written by such a stern and stubborn man. Somehow I couldn¡¯t imagine it. However, the attitude of creating a frame like this and thinking only within it is not like a novelist because the love sentences that Maurice creates may be several times more delicate than mine. ¡°Then you¡­¡­ Have you ever written your story?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± He didn¡¯t answer for a moment. I couldn¡¯t read a single change of expression, but somehow I thought he was hesitating to answer. ¡°There is.¡± At last Mr. Morris opened his mouth. ¡°As a writer, I don¡¯t think it¡¯s an option to project one¡¯s life into his work.¡± ¡°Hmm¡­.right.¡± ¡°For your information, everything I write is about only one person, and only for that one person.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Like many of the servants here, Mr. Maurice was also a person who did not reveal his secrets. Therefore, I had no idea what his intentions were in revealing his private life to me. Maybe he thought he could build a deep bond between me and him? With that in mind, I asked a rather rude question that might make him close his lips again. ¡°Is she your lover?¡± ¡°No, Miss. She¡¯s a woman I wouldn¡¯t dare look at.¡± In response, I imagined without difficulty the moment when Mr. Maurice suddenly found a side of himself while reading my manuscript. ¡°I know what you mean. I¡¯ve felt the same way as you for years. But not now.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°So¡­¡­ {Paradise on the Moon} can¡¯t be completed.¡± To be exact, I don¡¯t want to complete it. Before I knew it, I was crumpling my eyebrows. Mr. Maurice was quite calm, perhaps expecting my reaction. ¡°If you need this kind of conversation until you feel like writing again, I¡¯ll be your partner. You want to write that novel again, too.¡± ¡°That¡­¡± Is it because he is also a novelist? Mr. Maurice read my mind perfectly. But there was something he missed. ¡°But I don¡¯t want to hold onto ¡®Paradise on the Moon¡¯ again. The power that made me forget and immerse myself in the novel has disappeared. Now, whatever you put on it will be an empty shell. I¡¯d rather leave it unfinished.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know why he is so obsessed with this novel above all else, Mr. Maurice. The more I think about it, the more terrifying it is to the point that it feels like a kind of retaliation¡­¡­. Do you understand what I mean?¡± Mr. Maurice had a face as static as his statue. Still, I thought he would understand my heart. He is also a writer, and he has a brilliant muse. If the subject that became the soul of the novel disappears, the story loses its meaning. I don¡¯t want to write the ending I¡¯ve prepared. I don¡¯t want to complete the story of Troy, who is inspired by Alan Leopold. It is a disgrace to me that I have watched him over the years and had no clue of his ugly side. ¡°I might be able to do it if it¡¯s a whole new story.¡± Alan said that the situation I¡¯m in, exactly where he put me, would be a catalyst, but that¡¯s just bullshit. If I continue writing the back story with this in mind in the first place, it will be nothing more than garbage, let alone {Paradise on the Moon}. ¡°If he needs to complete a novel that he wants to get out of here, I¡¯ll write a new one. I don¡¯t know how long it¡¯ll take to complete.¡± ¡°Nothing else, Miss. You can¡¯t write something else ¡°¡­Did you lose your target?¡± ¡°You must complete this novel.¡± I couldn¡¯t hide my bewilderment at his determination. ¡°I¡¯ll help you, so use me. I can give you a stimulus similar to that target.¡± Read latest Chapters at Wuxia World . Site Only ¡°What the¡­.¡± The man in front of me had eyes that seemed to laugh at me for overlooking that he was Alan Leopold¡¯s person. ¡°I mean, I¡¯ll be your Troy, Miss.¡± *** [1] in case readers didn¡¯t understand the above conversation, what he means to say is Melissa is very conserved and doesn¡¯t take too much Pride on her masterpiece. And says, making a person as a motif while writing novels or creating a piece of art isn¡¯t and shouldn¡¯t be considered as a limitation. Every artist takes inspiration from his/her daily life/experiences and he says, never be ashamed or consider that there is limitation while taking inspiration and creating a piece. This applies to authors, singers, painters Chapter 65 Chapter 65: Melissa and Maurice¡¯s Liberation ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? ¡°What does that mean?¡± Those words made my forehead crumple. I can¡¯t believe he is going to revive my will to write by pretending to be a character in a novel. Besides, if someone reads my novel, they¡¯d understand how deep the relationship between Troy and the heroine is.¡­. ¡°¡­¡­Did he order that?¡± It¡¯s just crazy. Don¡¯t the artists of the Principality know any shame? ¡°He has ordered the completion of {Paradise on the Moon}¡° Again, a formal reply came back, but it didn¡¯t matter anymore. Just sending such a person to me has already been enough of an answer. This has made it clear that Alan Leopold is trying to drive me crazy. Upon accepting this fact, strangely, my head went cold. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, but I don¡¯t mean to go along with that nonsense, Mr. Maurice.¡± I had to get up to let him out of the room. ¡°I¡¯ll talk to Alan Leopold again when he gets back. It¡¯s clear that he is crazy, but at least he hasn¡¯t forgotten the language.¡± ¡°You can¡¯t run away.¡± Then, he held my hand. ¡°And it¡¯s the same for me because we¡¯ll be together forever¡­¡­.¡± ¡°¡­¡­What¡¯s wrong with you?¡± To my dismay, he was reciting exactly what Troy said in the novel, with desperate eyes ¡°Let go¡­..!¡± Suddenly, he pressed his hot lip on the back of my hand. ¡°Mr. Maurice!¡± I was horrified and tried to wring my hand out, but his grip on my wrist was truly enormous. His green eyes, looking up at me with his head down, were far deep. ¡°There¡¯s this kind of love¡­¡­ You¡­¡­.¡± I don¡¯t know how many times he read my novel, but it was definitely the sentences that I wrote. The hands held by him and his hot gaze on my face were unbearable. ¡°¡­ please stop it.¡± ¡°Promise me that you will complete the novel with me.¡± He let go of my hand and said. He sounded as if nothing had happened. ¡°You must know that that is the only liberation.¡± ¡°Stop talking. I¡¯m thinking¡­¡­.¡± Now he was about to feel bizarre. The hollow eyes, sunken cheeks, to the muddy green eyes that seemed to have crushed the leaves of grass¡­¡­. But what does liberation mean? Does that literally mean leaving here? It was immediately after that I thought that maybe it had an abstract meaning. I¡¯ve been writing a lot of stories, but it never went beyond my hobby level. For me, {Paradise on the Moon} is the first work that can be called a novel and the first work that gave me meaningful results. If this work is left unfinished, in a sense I may not be able to escape from Troy and from Alan Leopold forever. ¡°Mr. Maurice,¡± But is the word ¡®liberation¡¯ that he said with those eyes really limited to me? ¡°Please answer me honestly. I¡¯m not asking about your employer.¡± Then his green eyes, which I thought wouldn¡¯t reveal any emotions, headed for me. It was as if I could finally see an uncontrollable vortex within. ¡°Is the completion of this novel related to your well-being?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± He looked at me with no answer, and I wasn¡¯t blunt enough to not to know that it was an unspoken affirmation. ¡°Give me time to think.¡± ¡°If you are thinking that you will not finish the novel, I¡¯ll do it over and over again.¡­.¡± ¡°Mr. Maurice, a season has already passed since I gave that manuscript from my hands. The feeling that I felt at that time has completely left me, and there¡¯s no way I can continue writing it right away.¡± I grabbed a bunch of paper in front of him in a way that would reassure him. A collection of unfamiliar letters that someone has written in a fluent style that doesn¡¯t feel like my story anymore. A story that I wrote with excitement and overwhelming sadness, forgetting even the rising of the sun and the setting of the moon, but now it has lost its direction. Could the story of Troy and I be completed for my liberation and for something this stranger longs for? I¡¯d love to if I could. ¡°I¡¯ll read it again from the beginning. I don¡¯t know if I can regain that feeling¡­¡­. Is the next visit in two days?¡± ¡°That¡¯s right.¡± ¡°Then let¡¯s talk again on that day, Mr. Maurice. I really need time.¡± After Mr. Maurice stepped down, and watched the maids tidy up the teacups and the teapot, I asked them to leave as soon as the table was clean. I had mixed feelings as I sat at the reading table with a grim face reading the feast of sentences soaked in Alan Leopold. I had no idea that I would face this manuscript again as I had never received a separate notice from the Academy that they¡¯d return the manuscript. Rather, I was worried about how I should read this and whether I could read it properly. ¡°¡­¡­ha.¡± I still couldn¡¯t turn a page and just breathed in and drank tea repeatedly, but I couldn¡¯t stop laughing suddenly. There was A tower of books stacked on one side of the table. The title of a book of poetry placed at the top caught my eye. {When Love Has Become a Thing of the Past} ¡°My love has really become a thing of the past.¡± * * * Come and read on our website wuxia worldsite. Thanks I felt sorry for Mr. Maurice, but I¡¯d rather not read my novel again, no matter how hard I think about it. It¡¯s just an evil trauma to me, not a precious piece of work anymore. If I read it again, I might become weaker than I¡¯m now and lose my will to leave this place. Therefore, when he visits me again, I will explain my feelings in polite words and ask for his understanding. I don¡¯t think Mr Maurice will understand. Poor Melissa Collins caught by his mad master. To be honest, I am engulfed in my own misfortune right now, and I cannot easily hold any hope. It would be nice if only this crazy loneliness could be alleviated. With that thought, I broke the silence. ¡°Excuse me.¡± The young maid, who was diligently cleaning the room behind me, who is sitting at my desk, hurriedly turned to look at me. ¡°¡­¡­Yes?¡± She appeared to be about the same age as Julia, she seemed a little surprised and scared. On the first day I came here, I was quiet and quiet, but I called myself after I¡¯d jump if I didn¡¯t call Alan. But I just wanted a little chat. ¡°A, anything you need¡ª¡± ¡°What¡¯s your name?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± The little maid rolled her eyes with a frightened face. Are you trained not to answer me? ¡°It¡¯s all right, I¡¯ll keep it a secret.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± The maid clenched her lips and remained motionless. I didn¡¯t expect her to tell me her name. Well, they never called my name, either. Maybe they don¡¯t know. As soon as I recalled that fact, I realized again how deformed I was being treated here. Living in a luxurious room, high-class fabrics, luxurious food, and the care of countless maids, but without anyone to talk to. While living in Arch Hill, I thought that I liked to spend time alone without being disturbed, but looking back, it was thanks to the blessed weather and nature. Memories of taking a nap with a book on my face under the shade of a tree, the wind and birdsong with the scent of fragrant grass. But here I can¡¯t even get out of this detached house. So I don¡¯t even know what the capital of the Principality looks like. I remembered reading the story of Lunoa being beautiful in Tobias¡¯ letter, which has become a memory now, but¡­¡­. As I thought that far, I felt an unbearable longing for the past. ¡°It¡¯s because I¡¯m depressed¡­¡­. You said it was your job to help me stay comfortable.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± I¡¯ve never lived a colorful life among many people. But thanks to the few people around me, I grew up to be someone who took it for granted to show honest feelings, look deeply into each other¡¯s eyes, and talk. Women who wash my body and brush my hair every night without telling me a name. After leaving my beloved kingdom, all that is left of me is this superficial relationship. A sudden surge of sorrow surged in me. ¡°Did Alan order you to do that?¡± ¡°¡­¡­What?¡± ¡°Did Alan Leopold tell you not to talk to me?¡± ¡°No, that¡¯s¡­¡­.¡± Seeing the maid dilly-dally, it was clear that she was agitated. Maybe it¡¯s sympathy. ¡°I think I know how he feels. It¡¯s not the first time. In fact, he asked me to dance at the victory dance last year.¡± ¡°What? Then, lady¡­¡­.¡± The maid looked as if she couldn¡¯t hide her surprise. Indeed, it is surprising that the main character of the rumour was no one else but such an ordinary woman. Not only that but your master even brought me here. ¡°Have you heard that he doesn¡¯t usually dance? It became a huge sensation in society that he reached out to an ordinary woman like me first.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°At that time, it was like heaven and a dream, but after the dance, I realized how low the place I was in was. Have you ever traveled between heaven and hell in one night?¡± ¡°Uh¡­.¡± The maid shook her duster in her hand. She was embarrassed and had strange interest and empathy eyes because he didn¡¯t know why he was talking about this to himself. ¡°He¡¯s going to ruin me completely with this one. It¡¯s very cruel. Wasn¡¯t it weird from the beginning? The fact that he took me here¡­¡­.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°He even has a separate lover.¡± ¡°To the young master¡­ Oh, my.¡± The maid blushed and covered her mouth, and quickly captured her expression. ¡°If you don¡¯t need anything, I¡¯ll leave.¡± ¡°Let me send a letter to the kingdom!¡± At my urgent cry, the maid, who turned her body to the door, stopped. I added without missing a beat. If you persuade this young maid with desperation, maybe¡­¡­. ¡°That¡¯s what I need most right now. I miss my family and friends. This misfortune will never¡ª¡± ¡°There is no one who does not miss family and friends, miss.¡± But the answer I got back from the maid was far too preposterous. ¡°It is the same with us, who left our homeland and came to a foreign country. You just have to endure the life you have been given.¡± Read latest Chapters at Wuxia World . Site Only ¡°That¡­¡± ¡°Even if you appeal to my emotions, you won¡¯t get the results you want.¡± The maid, who turned her head gently, looked back at me over her shoulder. All kinds of emotions seemed to be conveyed from the eyes that always seemed insensitive and innocent. Maybe it¡¯s because I¡¯m just stupid and didn¡¯t notice¡­¡­. ¡°Because to us, you only seem like a blessed person.¡± Chapter 66 Chapter 66: Characteristics of a Perfect Businessman ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? The words of a young maid shook my life vigorously, having lived my life in inferiority and self-pity all my life. My misfortune and suffering can be a luxury. How narrow was my life? That night, I lit a candle on the table with a complicated mind. It was a quiet night with no wind. ¡°Paradise on the Moon.¡± My first unfinished novel. I was deeply in love when I was writing this story. To be exact, I had a terrible crush. One of the reasons for the selection of my novel, which the Academy revealed in its letter, was its dense portrayal of emotion. What was written at the very beginning of the letter was the evaluation that my novel led the emotions of the characters excellently. The secret to how this portrayal of emotions was so well-deserved is, of course, that I transcribed my actual feelings. The harsh and ardent feelings of love that I had written down as if I was possessed. It was indeed a fever that was both devastating and sublime. As I read {Paradise on the Moon} after a few months, the thought that came to my mind was that the handwriting was someone else¡¯s and felt unfamiliar as if it was not mine. However, the novel clearly reminded me of how I came to write these scenes and sentences in the end and how my feelings for Alan had changed. For example, the shock of learning that it was Alan Leopold who saved me from the snow and writing a scene in which Troy saves the heroine out of the cold snow. That overwhelming feeling that cannot be described was revived intact through the words in front of me. After the scene, even extreme joy was read in the part where the two described each other as the most brilliant lovers in the world. L¡¯I don¡¯t mean to insult your family, but have you been taught to speak like that to the person who saved you?¡¯ It was a bonus that I remembered what Alan had said a few days ago. As soon as I heard that, my face turned red and I raised my voice. But it¡¯s true that I can¡¯t be purely grateful if I think he was able to find me falling in the snow because he followed behind me. If it weren¡¯t for him, I wouldn¡¯t be able to breathe and think this way, but saving my life doesn¡¯t mean it¡¯s okay to go through such a bizarre situation. Of course, I¡¯m not saying I¡¯m not grateful for saving me.¡­. In addition, the novel reminded me of this memory. A carriage sent by the prince was waiting for me in front of the house. That day I was returning from a meeting with Mr. Brickhouse¡ª now the husband of Viola, but not at the time¡ª the carriage took me to the palace. The expression ¡°took me¡± is a bit disrespectful, but there¡¯s no other word that¡¯s more appropriate. (T/N: here, according to the customs of that time, it¡¯s respectful to say, escorted/led. But using the word took is a bit disrespectful) In the Prince¡¯s greenhouse I knew he had mistaken me as Alan¡¯s lover, and when I denied it, he said he would go straight to Alan. The despair I tasted that day was so terrible that I didn¡¯t want to remember it again. The abyss of fear that struck me the moment I thought I would be the object of Alan¡¯s hatred and contempt. There have been countless years of desperate longing and thirst, hoping that he would look back at me one day. Even if I can¡¯t wish for the same affection I had for the person I¡¯ve loved so earnestly, I don¡¯t want to be hated by him. I wish I could go back to a time when he didn¡¯t even know I existed, and I prayed with tears that I would rather go back to the days when I was by his side like transparent dust. For the rest of my life, I didn¡¯t want to know how miserable and painful it felt and what the tears I shed were like. The anxiety that grew in me after that day desperately melted into the deep love and longing of the two characters in the novel. After a period when they were wary of each other¡¯s existence, they became each other¡¯s world as if by fate, and Troy imprisoned the female protagonist who was afraid of emotions that grew out of control. I never imagined that the last scene would become a reality. ¡°¡­¡­ha.¡± I laughed bitterly because if I cried now, I would really fall apart.. I was forgetting quite smoothly about how terrible and tearful my story was written only a few months ago, but I ended up unintentionally recalling it. The Academy called it a beautiful novel to be true, but they were merely comfortable bystanders. Did they even see the tears left on the manuscript? If only I could turn back time, and go back to the days when I first knew him, I would sell my soul in order not to love Alan. I was young, innocent, and had nothing, and I loved him with all that I had. Without even imagining that the price would be so ugly. Every time the memories of holding him in my heart come to me, a storm surges in my heart. Even if it¡¯s a fragment, to say that this feeling isn¡¯t love would be a joke. I¡¯d be lying if I said I didn¡¯t love Alan anymore. Sadly, this is my impression of re-reading {Paradise on the Moon}. And I have come to the conclusion that I am not going to continue this story. Even if Alan Leopold has dyed my heart with his color over the years, time will eventually lift my hand if I want to push him away completely. With that in mind, I blew out the flickering candle. The pitch-black darkness was as cozy as ever. I felt like I could say everything I wanted to say if I faced him again. For the first time. * * * ¡°Sir Alan!¡± ¡°Are you coming in now?¡± Young people gathered in the garden politely welcomed the young businessman who returned to the office after suffering from the disgusting human groupings all morning. Scholarship students from the kingdom were having field trips and helped the family (Leopold) business. But Alan couldn¡¯t afford to accept their cheerful greetings. Giving only a simple nod, he entered the building with a rather hasty, nonetheless, unobtrusive pace. As expected, what awaited him in the Principality was indeed a mountain of work. Investing in railway businesses that would be a conduit to a new era, expanding trade items with the Hwa Empire, and planning Leopold¡¯s philanthropy to establish his name in the Principality. It was literally an endless procession of work. Come and read on our website wuxia worldsite. Thanks Alan literally put his life and soul into the new business of Lunoa, which he first took charge of under his own name, so he tried to be perfect in every moment. It was for that reason that all agenda items were reviewed and directed directly by himself. None of his staff could completely replace him. As his father said, Alan had a natural entrepreneurial temperament, even though he did not have a single drop of Leopold¡¯s blood. So far, it was tolerable. The problem was to stamp his face (show his face) on various gatherings and social clubs that were constantly looking for him. He hated people and relationships with people. He was willing to hang out with boring humans to cement his reputation as quickly as possible, but felt as if he had reached his limit every time. The reason was that no matter how early the business was, sleeping at night in a new place called home was extremely rare. It was really annoying that he couldn¡¯t even go and rest even though he finally had everything. To the extent that it even raises a sense of impatience. It was fortunate that he could go home after a long time. Last night he met everyone¡¯s expectations flawlessly, so no one dares to criticize him for not hanging out with the old businessmen of the Principality for two days in a row. ¡®If only I could handle the documents that need to be checked urgently and go back to the mansion before dinner.¡¯ If that¡¯s the case, they might be able to eat together today. A woman who always makes him laugh in a new way, who blindly asks if he loves her. However, as soon as he opened the office door, touching his tired eyes after walking through the long hallway, his expression changed like a sharp blade that could no longer be sharpened. ¡°Baby!¡± ¡°William.¡± Alan called out the name of the butler who stood beside him instead of the woman who was waiting for him with a lovely face. ¡°Yes, master.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t remember anyone being allowed in the office.¡± ¡°¡­¡­she came to the office early in the morning.¡± Alan reluctantly gave the woman a cold look as the butler bowed awkwardly. Surely Monica seems to have killed time here for quite some time. It was not difficult to infer the fact even with her rather dry skin, lips, and the state of the teacup in front of her. But that¡¯s her situation. ¡°I was told not to come.¡± (Monica) ¡°Are you still angry? I took out all my luggage¡­¡­.¡± (Monica) ¡°Ha.¡± (Alan) Monica had an uncharacteristically sullen face at Alan¡¯s chilling derision. ¡°You may ask William¡­¡­.¡± (Monica) The whole story was like this. Monica, who first returned to Lunoa with the family¡¯s servants, stayed in Alan¡¯s mansion and waited for him to come. What Alan bought was an old castle with dozens of rooms located on the outskirts of the capital. It would not be unreasonable to interpret that he was finally ready to greet someone. So she had no idea that Alan, who had finally entered the Principality, would be so angry. The two were once each other¡¯s only friends, even if they were always cynical. Naturally, Monica knew his wounds and secrets, and there was no need to be hurt again by the coldness that came from him. Moreover, she firmly believed that she was the only one who could understand and embrace Alan¡¯s flaws, and truly love him in any form. Nevertheless, she had never seen Alan this angry and cruel in her life that day, so she almost burst into tears at that time. ¡®Get out of here right now.¡¯ It was a scene that she would remember for a very long time, perhaps forever, but she managed to hold back tears, not knowing the meaning of his first business to Alan Leopold. She should have just hugged and comforted him with a lot of thorns on him. Until everything is settled down. That is the role of a woman who will become a spouse. But Monica never dreamed of it. Her beloved Alan¡¯s hasty hiding of a woman in the basement of the mansion to avoid being caught by her. ¡°Baby, please don¡¯t make a scary face¡­¡­. You know I¡¯ve been waiting for you to come to the Principality.¡± Seeing her jewel-like blue eyes slowly getting teary, Alan turned his head with a tired sigh. Of course, he could moderately sooth her. That may be the most efficient and wise move. However, the young businessman was inclined to make sure of anything. ¡°Whatever, go back today.¡± Monica immediately stood up at the sound of his voice that had subsided. Barely moving her pitiful lips that had been trembling. ¡°I¡¯ve seen your face, so that¡¯s fine. You¡¯ve been busy since the morning. Right? When the business settles down, we¡ª¡± Read latest Chapters at Wuxia World . Site Only ¡°Monica.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°To be clear, it has nothing to do with business.¡± If Monica Elwood met his muse in the annex, something would happen, and he had no patience to endure the uproar. ¡°Don¡¯t come to my house.¡± Chapter 67 Chapter 67: One Day You¡¯ll Understand ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? ¡°So, have you read the novel again?¡± Mr. Maurice sat in front of me with a polite and serious expression. Even today, he has a face that looks somewhat tired. ¡°Yes.¡± ¡°What did you think?¡± He didn¡¯t even look at the tea the maids had brought for him. His deep green gaze was chasing me the whole time. ¡°¡­¡­Well, have some tea first. It¡¯s going to get cold.¡± ¡°Please answer me.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± I had a hunch that the painful conversation would finally begin. ¡°I¡¯m convinced that I still have love for Alan Leopold.¡± ¡°That means¡­!¡± ¡°Don¡¯t get me wrong. I mean, I¡¯ve been reminded that the very thing that brought me here was that unauthorized feeling.¡± The eyes of Mr. Maurice, whose eyes had been shining with earnest light at the hastily added words, sank deeply. ¡°I reflected on how much I loved him and how hard and painful it was for me. I thought I shouldn¡¯t have read this novel again.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Instead of answering, Mr. Maurice clenched his fists on the table. As a result, the teacup on the saucer shook finely and made a clattering sound. I watched the blue veins appear on the back of his hand with puzzled eyes. ¡°Miss, I told you. This novel must be completed.¡± For a moment I felt a strange threat. The ferocious energy he was giving out made my shoulders shrink. I never thought it would be so comforting to have some unknown maids standing on one side of the room. ¡°¡­¡­ Mr. Maurice, I understand that completing this novel helps you. But it¡¯s painful to carry on a novel filled with him. Because I have to shake him off. Besides¡­¡­.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know if you noticed, but the events in this novel are based on facts. Some are by coincidence, but mostly.¡± In the novel, Troy and the heroine danced together at a ball, and it was my intention that the heroine suffered as a result of that dance and it was a coincidence that Troy saved the heroine who was buried in the snow and was dying. And the last part, the scene where Troy locks her up, became a reality due to Alan Leopold¡¯s intentions. At this point, isn¡¯t it natural to fear that Alan might recreate the backstory of my new novel in his own twisted way? Because I¡¯m already in his script. I can no longer dismiss it as a ridiculous illusion. ¡°That¡¯s all for me,¡± ¡°Why don¡¯t we change the flow of the story?¡± ¡°¡­¡­What?¡± Mr. Maurice raised his glasses with a cold face. He seemed a little annoyed, too. ¡°You don¡¯t have to insist on a sad love story, do you? Let¡¯s break up the two. And if you finish the story with the heroine¡¯s consideration and growth, this novel will not stimulate your subconscious mind.¡± ¡°I can¡¯t do that.¡± I replied emphatically. I decided not to continue writing ¡°Paradise on the Moon¡± to completely erase Alan Leopold, but the idea that the novel must end happily remains unchanged. It¡¯s a story that started only for that. ¡°This novel has an ending only meant for this novel. So if I¡¯m not going to use it as it is, I should stop here. If you¡¯re a novelist, you know what I mean.¡± ¡°Ha, I don¡¯t understand at all.¡± My forehead was also wrinkled at the sight of Mr. Maurice sighed as if he was frustrated. I gulped down the tea in an elegant white porcelain cup in a fit of anger. ¡°¡­¡­Miss.¡± I opened my mouth without missing the moment when the man sitting opposite me faltered at my uneducated appearance. ¡°Is it funny that a woman who has never published a book under her name is a novelist? I thought you¡¯d understand because you said you were writing, but I think I overestimated you.¡± ¡°¡­¡­I didn¡¯t mean to offend you. I just want you to grab your pen again soon¡± ¡°No, Mr. Maurice.¡± The frustrating thing was, on the contrary, it was on my side. ¡°You¡¯re in love, too. Don¡¯t tell me you¡¯ve never been sick and tired of love.¡± It wasn¡¯t difficult for me to know that the love he embraced must have been similar to my feelings for Alan because I was in the same place as him. For me, it was easy to read the unfulfilled love in Mr. Maurice¡¯s eyes. Isn¡¯t that so? I just couldn¡¯t stand him acting like he couldn¡¯t understand me. I raised my eyes rather aggressively. ¡°Even the love made people around me suffer. Don¡¯t you think it¡¯s deceitful of you to talk like that when you know how painful it is when love can¡¯t be achieved?¡± ¡°Miss.¡± But I had to swallow my words soon. Because his voice calling me was trembling in a form close to anger. ¡°Love is inherently painful.¡± Come and read on our website wuxia worldsite. Thanks ¡°Huh, what?¡± ¡°I can¡¯t believe I¡¯m losing my mind over something like this. Your heart for him may not have been love.¡± ¡°What¡­!¡± I felt like my blood was flowing back. If I hadn¡¯t bitten my lip right away, I would have explained how much I loved Alan and how vividly the times I loved him still lives and breathes inside me. I caught my breath by clenching my hem until my fingertips turned white. blaming myself for being so agitated by Mr. Maurice¡¯s words ¡°I¡­¡± Then, he added in a low voice. ¡°Could die for that love.¡± * * * It was the maid who ended my emotional and sluggish conversation with Mr. Maurice. While I was in the middle of the heated argument, the head maid came to my room and announced that lunch was ready. It was already quite past lunch time, but as he and I showed no sign of ending our conversation, she seemed to have taken her own measures as the head maid. If I don¡¯t eat on time, the master will scold her, right? Anyway, I was just glad I could end the tough conversation with him. Mr. Maurice handed me another word before he stepped back. I was polite, but I didn¡¯t answer much because I felt nothing but a conciliation to decide to write a novel again. ¡®One day you¡¯ll understand.¡¯ When I remembered his last words after he left, I recalled whether it was a line from Troy in the novel. I had no desire to play a mournful love affair with Maurice, who mimics Troy. To the point where I get goosebumps on the back of my neck just imagining it¡­¡­. I don¡¯t know if it will be two days or three days later when he comes back, but the thought of facing those strangely blurry and muddy green eyes again already made me feel drained. ¡°Strange Man¡­¡­.¡± As I followed the maid to the dining hall, I threw a blank look out the window. A dazzling season of green was beckoning to me. When I imagined the ecstatic moment when the soft green grass tickled my ankles, I felt helpless. ¡°¡­¡­huh?¡± At that time, two figures across the far-reaching garden came into view. It was too small to be seen clearly, but it was definitely like people from the main building. When I stopped to get a closer look, they had already left the front door and disappeared from view. When I stopped with a stunned face, the maid asked me as if wondering. ¡°Is there a problem?¡± ¡°Oh, I thought people were just coming out of the main building¡­¡­.¡± ¡°They are probably students.¡± ¡°Students?¡± When asked back in a daze, the maid replied calmly. ¡°Yes. Leopold scholarship students who help the master with his business.¡± ¡°They are the students from the Royal Academy in Sourne?¡± ¡°That¡¯s right.¡± ¡°Oh¡­.¡± It was inevitable that the words reminded me of Tobias. However, my heart, which was about to become infinitely fonder, froze white at the words of her that followed. ¡°I guess the master will be back tonight after a long time.¡± ¡°¡­Is Sir Alan coming back?¡± ¡°On the day he comes back home, people from the office always stop by to deliver the documents. The master has the habit of looking through documents before going to sleep.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± I¡¯ve never seen a maid talk so much. She seemed very pleased to praise her master, and there was a hint of contentment above her cheek, which had always been rigid. I don¡¯t think there¡¯s a Sournean who doesn¡¯t know that Alan Leopold is a great man without having to explain. Because I know it very well, too. But even when I was in love with Alan, I never really thought deeply about how hard he was at work. It¡¯s like I¡¯m completely ignorant of business. Perhaps she read my mind, the maid quietly added more words. ¡°No one is born perfect.¡± There was a shimmering glow over her face. The thin smile seemed milder, perhaps thanks to the summer pouring in from the window. But the maid¡¯s rare kindness did not ease my mind. Perhaps because of the wasteful conversation with Mr. Maurice, or because of the sudden news that I might have to face Alan this evening, I had no appetite. Even today, I had to eat splendid and rare dishes that cannot be compared to the foods I have ever eaten with an expressionless face. Then I went straight back to my room and sat at the elegant reading table that had been waiting for me. On the desk were manuscripts of {Paradise on the Moon} and all kinds of romance novels. ¡°Ha¡­.¡± Somehow, I was not happy with the tea and cookies brought by the maids. In the meantime, Alan seldom returned to the mansion, so it was absurd and even a little irritating, but when I heard that he was coming back, something like an unknown fear arose. In the end, I concluded that I can¡¯t wait until bedtime, the time when I always take a bath. When I asked for an early bath, refusing to eat or drink, the maids quietly prepared bath water. How long was I soaking myself in the bathtub? Suddenly, from outside the bathroom, where all the maids were waiting, a fussy voice was heard. Read latest Chapters at Wuxia World . Site Only In fact, I just wanted to be submerged in warm water until I fell asleep. It was a day that was already terribly tormented because of Alan Leopold, whom I didn¡¯t even meet. ¡°The young master is waiting for you.¡± ¡°Haaa¡­¡± I buried my face on the surface of the water. ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? Chapter 68 Chapter 68: Would You Like Another Drink? ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? I didn¡¯t have time to dry my hair completely. The maids who led me out of the bathroom cleaned me with busy hands, applied soft oil over my skin, and dressed me in an elegant colored gown. Meanwhile, I paused silently, feeling as if I were on the edge of a cliff. My hair, which could not be neatly styled due to being wet, was hung over one shoulder with a light flower decoration. The damp chill that hung over my shoulders was persistently clinging to me as I moved anxiously along the endless hallway. However, the direction the maid led me was different from before. Whether it was day or night in the mansion, it was only a few days ago when I visited Alan¡¯s office, and I remembered it clearly. This direction is not towards the office. Where are you taking me? ¡°I¡­¡± Eventually I stopped the maid who was ahead. ¡°Where are we going now?¡± The maid turned and the candle in her hand flickered, casting a dark shadow over her face. ¡°To the dining hall.¡± ¡°¡­¡­What?¡± I froze as I gently touched my wet, curly hair. Obviously I told the maids I wouldn¡¯t have dinner tonight. Thanks to that, I was able to enjoy a leisurely bath. So, it¡¯s way past dinner time. ¡°But the time¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I cannot let him wait any longer.¡± The solemn answer sounded somewhat eerie. After all, there is no other way. I had no choice but to follow in the footsteps of the maid who had begun to take the lead again. My lips were parched with nervousness. Soon the maid and I were standing in front of a huge door. A tension as heavy as the grand door weighed down on me. ¡°Young master.¡± A faint motion sickness rushed in, as if I was standing on a ship that clashed with the rapid waves. I felt my fingers getting cold and traced the delicate grain of wood flowing over the door with a bashful gaze. ¡°I¡¯ve brought her.¡± With those words, the door opened wide. The moment I felt as if I was standing in front of the gates of hell, bright lights and fragrant warmth flooded towards me like waves. No wonder my legs are weak. As if it were the smallest of the dining halls in the main building, the space beyond the door was much smaller than the dining hall in the annex where I always eat. Nevertheless, the energy was incomparably gorgeous and cozy. Alan Leopold sat alone like a painting on a broad table, white as snow. His skin, his shirt, was as pale as the moon in the night sky. The soft black hair was dyed with the warm golden glow of the candlelight. When he opened his eyes slowly as if he were asleep, I could not avoid my eyes and burst into a small sigh. ¡°You¡¯re here. Sit down.¡± As the low voice rang through the hall, the servants in the room stepped away with courtesy as if they had made a pledge. I shivered helplessly at the sound of the door closing behind me. ¡°Sit down, Melissa.¡± At first glance, a soft but terribly overbearing voice urged me. Having managed to move at a steady pace, I sat carefully across from him. Unfortunately, there was no time to question why he was calling me by name as if we were close. His voice melted into my ears again as I was staring at the back of my trembling hand with the white napkin in front of me. ¡°Next to me.¡± ¡°¡­¡­What?¡± ¡°I told you to come closer because you have a small voice.¡± ¡°Ah¡­.¡± It felt like my heart was going to burst out of my chest at any moment. I quivered my lips like a fool. It¡¯s too much just to sit face to face at this wide table, but next to him.¡­. I felt like I was going crazy. But it was so obvious that he wasn¡¯t asking for a favor, and I couldn¡¯t turn him down. In the stifling silence, the piercing blue-grey gaze urged me to obey. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± I managed to get myself up. I couldn¡¯t even breathe properly because of his cold eyes staring into my face while I stood up straight and took each step next to him¡­¡­. And when I finally crept beside him, Alan¡¯s languid low voice greeted me. ¡°Your hair is wet.¡± This is too close¡­¡­. ¡°¡­..I don¡¯t want to eat.¡± I closed my eyes tightly and changed the subject. No matter the greetings, I can¡¯t just talk about things like bathing with him.¡­. But Alan didn¡¯t answer. I could not turn my head to that side even after I gently opened my eyes in a puzzled mind, but I added, looking nervously down at the edge of the table embossed with the wave pattern. ¡°I-It¡¯s not because of you.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I didn¡¯t have an appetite all day¡­¡­.¡± When I met him again, I had a mountain of things I wanted to say, but I was ashamed of myself for saying all the wrong things. I felt like I went back to being the clumsy girl one evening when I begged for a collection of poems or shouted with my whole body that I was in love. In the meantime, the problem was that the strength in my whole body kept loosening. Is it because of the mellow scent that comes from the back of the neck? Or because of his face which is horribly beautiful looking at me? Or maybe it¡¯s because I realized again that I still love him¡­¡­. ¡°That¡¯s great.¡± Then, Alan¡¯s soft lips moved. ¡°It just so happened that I didn¡¯t think about it either.¡± ¡°Oh, then I¡­¡­!¡± Let¡¯s say I¡¯m going back to the room. You¡¯d better avoid him for now. With that mind, I carefully raised my head but had to shut my mouth. His gaze as he was looking at me and his clear, smooth skin caught my attention.His transparent skin looking at me with his chin at an angle. The sight of the soft light melting on it was more than enough to hold my breath¡­ Perhaps it was funny that I was obviously blushing, Alan whispered with a thin smile on his face. ¡°Then, alcohol?¡± Come and read on our website wuxia worldsite. Thanks ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡­¡­how can a conversation unfold like that? While choosing my words out of embarrassment, he waved the golden bell on the table. Then a servant immediately brought the trolley. As if he was waiting outside the door. It was an instant that a simple finger food, a black bottle of alcohol that could not be seen, and a sparkling crystal glass were placed on the table. ¡°Take it.¡± The bottle in his hand was tilted and gently touched the crystal glass, which was clearly mine, and a clear sound, clink rang out. It shook me like a shot. I waved my hands in a hurry. ¡°Oh, I don¡¯t like this kind of alcohol.¡­.¡± ¡°Can¡¯t you drink?¡± ¡°Well, I can drink wine, but this kind of alcohol¡­¡­ I can¡¯t.¡± A low laughter could be heard as I closed my eyes, blaming myself for answering the question in a docile way. ¡°It¡¯s wine.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I thought you didn¡¯t like sweets. You don¡¯t put sugar in your coffee.¡± ¡°That¡­¡± I hurriedly shut my lips, ready to give a straight-forward answer again. Calm down, Melissa. Are you going to respond to the blatant idiot who casually says that he watched me at the coffee shop? Though I thought so in my head, my eyes couldn¡¯t stop gazing endlessly at the red lips, which shed a pleasant voice. ¡°Still, have a drink. It will relieve the tension.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± All the thoughts in my head seemed to melt down like sugar in a coffee cup. On Florin Boulevard, at the ball, or when I met him in his office not long ago, he wasn¡¯t this gentle to me. It was only in my dreams¡­¡­. ¡°It¡¯s freezing. You look like a completely different person than you were a few days ago.¡± ¡°That¡­¡± My lips feel dry because of his beautiful smile which was like a painting. Why are you doing this to me? Was it so terrible that I loved him arbitrarily? How far are you trying to make me miserable? You want to destroy me completely? Then Alan added in a faint smile. ¡°I¡¯m sorry I couldn¡¯t take care of you after I got you out of there.¡± Take care of ¡­¡­? I stopped breathing, doubting my ears. At that moment, Alan, who finished the second drink, held one out and whispered to me. ¡°Melissa.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± At the sound of his voice calling my name, all hesitation until now had evaporated. I quickly took the drink. The half-filled crystal glass was cold and quite heavy. And after two deep breaths, I emptied the glass at once. ¡°Ugh¡­¡± The place where the strong alcohol had passed was hot as if it were burning. The bitter taste of whiskey was overwhelming¡­¡­¡­. Shaking my head, I spat out the words I had been holding back. ¡°¡­¡­Why are you doing this to me?¡± Instead of answering, Alan transferred small pieces of fruit to a transparent plate. I closed my eyes, helplessly, as my gaze caught sight of the straight fingers holding the silverware. ¡°You hate me! You¡¯re not in love¡­¡­ Like this¡­¡­!¡± Clink, I woke up horrified at the sound of a plate being placed in front of me. At the slightest sound¡­.. That¡¯s how on edge I was. ¡°You hate it? It¡¯s the other way around.¡± ¡°¡­¡­I don¡¯t understand. You¡¯re making me suffer, even now¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Are you sure you¡¯re in pain?¡± He spoke as if he were dealing with a child. ¡°You look happy now, your face shows it, dear.¡± ¡°What¡­¡­. Ha¡­.¡­.¡± My face was all hot. In the first place, the fact that Alan Leopold was breathing next to me was too much. When I finally covered my face with my hands, his low voice was heard. ¡°I wouldn¡¯t have brought you if I didn¡¯t want to be nice to you. So I want you to stop being vigilant.¡± ¡°What you just said¡­¡­ Is it like a catalyst for an author?¡± Then Alan, who was taking the glass to his lips, smiled. I was forced to take all my attention away from the beautiful bent lips. ¡°I don¡¯t come here often, but if you need anything, I want you to tell me.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°It¡¯s okay to be uncomfortable, whatever.¡± I had no idea what Alan Leopold was thinking. But at least now he seems to be kind to me. Even if this was an extension of his madness or just a prank disguised as a favor, it was an opportunity I couldn¡¯t miss. For me who didn¡¯t know when his next return would be, I was in a hurry. So I had to interrogate him right now and persuade him to comply with my demands. Read latest Chapters at Wuxia World . Site Only However, he was so dazzling that just peeking at him can make your toes curl, and my heart was too weak to make eye contact with him casually. ¡°First of all¡­.¡± So I decided to borrow the power of alcohol. ¡°Would you like another drink?¡± ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? Chapter 69 ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? ¡°Would you like to pour me another drink?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Was it too bold? Alan looked at my complexion for a moment and soon burst into a chuckle. Soon a clear brown liquid filled the glass again. ¡°Shall we make a toast?¡± ¡°Huh¡­¡± His glass came up to my glass, which had stopped in confusion, and struck it making a clear sound. Sitting side by side with Alan Leopold in an old mansion in Lunoa, the capital of the Principality. I can¡¯t believe this is real¡­¡­. Everything was just dreamy. I gulped down the wine he poured me without any bounds. The first glass was difficult, but the second was equally painful. Alan¡¯s eyes were seen wide open with surprise. At the same time, my heart beat so fast that I felt somewhat frightened and patted my chest. The reason why my heart is pounding hard as if it¡¯s going to explode is because of the wine and not because of the man sitting next to me. That thought made me feel a little better. Then Alan tilted his head slightly and made eye contact with me. Glassy, cold eyes like an ice pond were in front of me. It was an indescribable beauty. If there was a dawn in the universe, I¡¯m sure it would have these lights and patterns. ¡°Are you okay?¡± ¡°I¡¯m a little dizzy¡­¡­.¡± It was only two drinks, but it was my first time drinking such a strong drink, and I drank quite a lot. It¡¯s like alcohol running in through my blood vessels. My head and my vision became distant, and the fresh scent from Alan¡¯s body became stronger. But it¡¯s not enough to let go of my consciousness. I comforted myself by taking a deep breath. I was going to slowly ask one by one. ¡°Sir Alan, the maids¡­¡­.¡± ¡°You can call me by name.¡± ¡°Oh¡­.¡± Will I be able to tell him everything that I want to say? I stiffen at every word he says and every time he looks at me. ¡°Why the maids?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Whenever I look at him I can¡¯t say anything because my head goes blank, he¡¯s even trying to exhort me to say something. The gentle arrogance just made me feel despondent. ¡°Did they make a mistake?¡± ¡°Well, it¡¯s not like that, but it¡¯s a little weird. Like people who don¡¯t have feelings¡­¡­. Even if I ask, they didn¡¯t even tell me their name, did you order it? That¡¯s too bad.¡± It was said that alcohol gives you liquid courage, and it gradually becomes easier for you to talk when you are relaxed. ¡®Are you telling me to die from loneliness?¡± I barely held those words in. At this rate, we may have a meaningful conversation tonight. My fist that clenched the hem of my dress naturally tightened. ¡°Of course not. They¡¯re not my people, they work for my family. Father¡¯s to be exact.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know what the difference is¡­¡­.¡± ¡°If you are talking about unnecessary suspicions or excessive caution, it must be because they resemble their master.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Does that mean¡­ that his son himself is, too? Then Alan let out a low sigh. ¡°Ah¡­ Did you need a companion? You¡¯re an emotional person, so you might have felt lonely.¡± It can¡¯t be, but he was talking as if he had never felt lonely. At the same time, I was speechless when he got to the point exactly. ¡°I¡¯m sorry that I¡¯m too busy to take care of you.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°If necessary, I¡¯ll put a maid next to you. so that she can be your companion.¡± ¡°Ah¡­! Is that okay?¡± ¡°Anything that you want.¡± What, that¡¯s sweet, isn¡¯t it? Just imagining the idea of ??having a companion to share intimate stories with, I felt like I was going to fly away with joy just imagining it. His more cooperative attitude made me rush to the next question. ¡°But why do you want me to write the novel? Was my manuscript provided by the Academy?¡± ¡°That,¡± ¡°And the academy I¡¯m going to enroll in is trash. What does that mean?¡± ¡°Whoa.¡± Alan filled my glass with a sigh of laughter. And he answered, giving me sweet-scented juice instead of alcohol. ¡°I love that novel so much that I want to own it. It¡¯s a long story to tell, but I hope I¡¯ll have a chance to give you enough answers someday.¡± ¡°Oh¡­.¡± ¡°Similarly, I liked the novel and participated as a judge myself. Purely because I want to read the finished part.¡± I had no idea whether to be surprised by his easy access to the Academy¡¯s judgeship, or by his candid praise for my novel. He wouldn¡¯t have known that Troy in the novel resembled him as if it was his exact copy, but if he said it was good enough that he wanted to have it completely¡­¡­ How am I supposed to interpret that¡­. ¡°The two-year academy proposed by the royal family is not even close to the Sourne Royal Academy, where it is hard to find literature-related subjects. It is an insult to suggest a place like that.¡± ¡°I-I¡¯ll still be a student there this coming fall. Healthy stimulation and motivation from interaction with students are just as valuable as the curriculum¡­¡­.¡± Alan frowned slightly at my words. He opened his mouth after emptying the glass in a simple manner. ¡°Think well, do you think such a noisy environment would suit you? It would be rather harmful.¡± ¡°Uh¡­.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t think my judgment was wrong.¡± The situation in which Alan Leopold, who is a stranger, knows my personality was too unrealistic. I shuffled to get my act together and continued. ¡°¡­¡­I know it¡¯s hard for me to be in a crowded place, but being a student has been my dream for a long time. And it¡¯s also an opportunity given to me by the royal family, so I¡¯m grateful¡­¡± ¡°That¡¯s a problem, too.¡± ¡°What?¡± ¡°You have a brilliant talent¡­¡­ You shouldn¡¯t be a puppet of the royal family.¡± Come and read on our website wuxia worldsite. Thanks Saying that, Alan went back to drinking. I couldn¡¯t understand what he said, so with a stunned face I waited for more words that would help me understand his intentions. ¡°It¡¯s better not to owe the royal family. You¡¯re free to write what you want, only with your own senses.¡± ¡°¡­¡­Are you saying that the royal family won¡¯t let me write what I want?¡± ¡°It may not stop there¡­¡­.¡± Alan was about to say something, but he quit. Eyelashes as dark as ebony hung under the waxy white eyelids. ¡°Listen to me. When there¡¯s still a way to not to get involved.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± I understand that the Leopold family has had a close relationship with the royal family.¡­. Surprisingly, the expression on his face as he spoke about the Sourne royal family was terribly cold. It was only then that Prince Bentley came to mind. Surely he¡­¡­ He is like that making me follow the advice to not to get involved. When I recalled his persistent gaze like a snake and his breath approaching me while holding my chin, I felt goosebumps all over my body. But I¡¯m sure both of them are close friends. Wasn¡¯t it the Prince Bentley who imprinted my existence on Alan after all? If I think that way, everything Alan is telling me now loses credibility. ¡°¡­¡­isn¡¯t the prince your close friend?¡± ¡°No, he¡¯s not.¡± Alan answered immediately. The answer made me tilt my head. They¡¯re known to be close friends for a long time. But I didn¡¯t want to ask about the prince¡¯s story, and neither did Alan seem to want to talk about him. He had such a dark face that I suddenly thought the air was heavy. Is he angry? ¡°¡­¡­I don¡¯t know much about the royal family. But I think Her Highness, Princess Cynthia, is undoubtedly a great person.¡± ¡°You mean the first princess.¡± ¡°Yes, she deserves to be the pride of the royal family. Decent, wise, benevolent¡­¡­.¡± She even came here to congratulate the winner of the Academy Award. She has always been regarded as an object of envy, but she was more elegant and impressive after I met her face-to-face. I added quickly. ¡°Just by looking at her, she seems different from the rest of the royal family. I can¡¯t wait for the princess to become the queen.¡± ¡°Certainly, she¡¯s the most sane member of the royal family.¡± Alan¡¯s answer was absolutely dry. ¡°But the blood can¡¯t be deceived, so the first princess isn¡¯t much different either. The prince is nothing but an unprecedented fool.¡± ¡°What¡­¡± I was astonished at his outspoken remarks about the royal family. How could that elegant Alan Leopold insult the royal family in this way! How arrogant and rude¡­¡­. ¡°And to be straight-forward, when it comes to gossip, I have a lot on my side.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± I almost spilled the juice. Isn¡¯t this completely different from the perfect gentleman he¡¯s seen in the social world? Wasn¡¯t he so loyal to the royal family that he even forced himself to dance with me because of the prince¡¯s orders? So¡­¡­ Is this the real Alan now? Then why is he showing his true face to me? ¡°I sent someone to help you, Melissa. He¡¯d be much better off than taking low-quality classes at a noisy academy.¡± ¡°Mr. Maurice?¡± ¡°Yes, so listen to me.¡± Obviously it was a soft tone, but the pressure in his breath was not something he could hide. When did he start to have this overwhelming energy all over his body? However, it is true that Mr. Maurice is not a cool character. There is no way for me to confirm that his skills exceed the educational institutions of the Principality. ¡°What kind of person is Mr. Maurice? He rarely tells me anything about himself.¡± ¡°He is one of the employees of the family. He used to teach us when we were kids, but he was mainly in Lunoa, so with me¡ª¡± ¡°¡®Us¡¯?¡± Then there was a moment of silence. Did he also have a brother he had hidden? Could it not be Alan who followed behind me on the street and came to my house? ¡°Do you have a brother?¡± ¡°Oh, I made a mistake.¡± Too much alcohol. He murmured softly. ¡°Tell me, aren¡¯t you a Leopold member?¡± ¡°It won¡¯t be long before you know everything.¡± ¡°Why can¡¯t you tell me now?¡± ¡°If you know too much at once, you¡¯ll be the only one who¡¯ll have a hard time.¡± You¡¯re just a scoundrel who kidnapped me¡­ if you speak so kindly.¡­. ¡°I mean it when I say you¡¯ll find out soon, so forget about it now.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± I don¡¯t know if it¡¯s because I¡¯m drunk or because I want to be fooled, but I thought I should move on first. But I can¡¯t let it go when I ask about Maurice. ¡°No matter how much you say, Mr. Maurice is weird.¡± ¡°Why do you say that?¡± ¡°He says, we must complete the novel by all means. He said it¡¯s hard to remember the sense of the time, and he said he¡¯d be Troy, and he said to me¡­¡­.¡± It was such a strange thing to say on second thought. Eventually, when I shook my shoulders, I could hear Alan¡¯s whisper. Read latest Chapters at Wuxia World . Site Only ¡°He¡­¡± ¡°What? What did you say?¡± As I turned my head to him, I saw my eyes twinkling like a cold flame. He was stunned when he froze without even resisting the gusty wind. ¡°Did he touch you?¡± Chapter 70 Chapter 70: Melissa, Was It Really a Nightmare? ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? ¡°He¡­¡± ¡°What? What did you say?¡± As I turned my head towards him, I met his eyes gleaming like a cold flame. When I froze without even resisting the windswept wind, I shuddered. ¡°Did he touch you?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Tell me what he did.¡± Alan seemed to be holding back his anger. He was so angry that my shoulders shrank. ¡°Ah, he took my hand¡­¡­.¡± ¡°¡­¡­and?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Speak clearly.¡± Again, the commanding tone¡­¡­. My instinctive intuition signalled me that if I went against him, I might die immobile in this room. That¡¯s how overwhelmed I became. I answered with my eyes closed. ¡°O-on the back of my hand¡­¡­ Lips¡­.¡± At that moment, I heard the sound of a heavy crystal glass being placed on the table. As I opened my eyes to the sharp sound, Alan¡¯s face, staring at me, filled my vision. His gaze was so intense and gloomy that the strength in my legs could quiver just by looking at him. ¡°Hand.¡± He held out a big hand to me. ¡°¡­¡­H-hand, why?¡± ¡°It¡¯s a hand that¡¯s already held before, so it shouldn¡¯t be too difficult.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± If he is speaking of the victory ball, I couldn¡¯t remember what Alan¡¯s hand felt like at that time. Because I was that nervous. But I had no confidence to keep him waiting any longer. Eventually, my hand, which was trembling violently that could be easily noticed with a naked eye, was carefully placed on Alan¡¯s hand. The moment our hands touched, and before I was surprised by the cold hand, he grabbed my hand hard and dragged it towards him. ¡°Now what¡­¡­!¡± After that, Alan¡¯s head bowed slowly, as if it were a set procedure. The cold and slightly rough lips, which touched the back of my hand, were cold, soon gently pressed itself down and let out a sweet breath. ¡°Al¡­!¡± It was a shock as if my heart was pounding and falling to the floor. Not knowing what to do, I trembled like a bird wet in the rain. All I could do was stare at his straight eyelashes, forgetting to breathe. At that moment, Alan suddenly opened his eyes. I couldn¡¯t avoid the gaze or move my body, stiff as a statue. Like I¡¯m tied up with an invisible rope.¡­. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± As if longing for only my gaze, the tenacious eyes were even lustful at a glance. Would it be an illusion if the hot desire I felt from Alan in my dream seemed to pass by at first glance in his eyes right now? No wonder my stomach was itching so much. ¡°Alan.¡± I twisted my arm wildly to get my hand out of his grasp. But Alan¡¯s hand wasn¡¯t likely to let me go. ¡°Alan, now¡­¡­.¡± The red lips that fell, whispered languidly, with a small and soft sound. ¡°I thought it might smell like ink.¡± ¡°That¡­¡± My fingers trembled as his lips tickled like a feather on the back of my hand. But it was only my wish that this would be the end. Alan spread out my fingers one by one, which were trying to shrink, and gently kissed each fingertip. It was five small, careful kisses. ¡°It was this hand.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± For this moment, his smile was only mine. As I thought about it, my heart pounded to the point that I was flustered. I thought it wouldn¡¯t be strange if my heart exploded at this moment. I can die like this. On the other hand, I felt like I had finally understood a phrase from an old imperial myth. It is said that when the white and radiant male god of the moon smiled, spring finally arrived in the world. It is indeed strange that he, who resembles a colourless winter, makes me feel a wonderful spring on a midsummer night. When he finally put my hand down, I brought it to my chest as if it had been burned, and I smoothened it feverishly. ¡°¡­¡­ Alan, I¡­¡­.¡± If you get swept away, I won¡¯t be any different from the me I¡¯ve been in the past. Go ahead and say what you have to say, Melissa. ¡°I-I¡¯d like to write a letter. To my family and friends¡­¡­.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Alan just stared at me with emotionless blue-grey eyes and gave no answer. But his jewel-like eyes did not have the same anger at least when he had heard of Mr. Maurice. That¡¯s why I decided to be a little more courageous. The maid wouldn¡¯t do me a favour to write a letter, but they won¡¯t be able to do anything if their master allows it. ¡°Please¡­.¡± ¡°I can¡¯t take the pen away from you. Try it on.¡± The silent answer opened my eyes wide. ¡°Really?¡± ¡°But you won¡¯t be able to send a letter.¡± ¡°¡­¡­What? What does that mean?¡± ¡°Meaning, I won¡¯t let you go.¡± The words made me burst into laughter. ¡°Ha.¡± This is definitely a joke. What the hell did I expect from this crazy guy? To forget that this man is crazy, I was blinded by the enchanting words of his handsome lips, and the kiss that was so desperate that I felt as if I had become his precious person. Am I crazy? I felt a surge of anger that I couldn¡¯t handle for a moment. It could be because of the bit of alcohol in me, but it¡¯s alright? ¡°Are you kidding me? Does this all seem like a joke?¡± Come and read on our website wuxia worldsite. Thanks ¡°Indeed.¡± He laughed low once again. It was a moment when the beautiful face looked terribly hateful. ¡°I can¡¯t let you do stupid things again, I¡¯ve been trying to save you.¡± ¡°¡­¡­do stupid things?¡± I was dumbfounded. I felt like I was about to cry, so I had to bite the soft flesh in my mouth. Alan, on the other hand, was drinking again with a clean face that had not changed a single colour even though he had been drinking quite a bit. Such a noble and elegant scoundrel. I wanted to flip the table over right away if I could. There was even an urge to pour juice over his noble face. ¡°You¡¯re¡­. just happy to bully the weak. It¡¯s funny to someone like you.¡± ¡°The weak?¡± Alan, who put down a crystal glass on the table, wiped the corner of his mouth with a white napkin. When he put down his napkin, his lips were smiling. ¡°What¡¯s the definition of weak?¡± ¡°It¡¯s¡­¡± ¡°There is one thing you overlooked, the underdog is me, Melissa. So I want you to have pity on me.¡± Ha, this confidence¡­¡­. I didn¡¯t want to fit in with his nonsense any more. I said with my teeth clenched. ¡°As expected, I hate you.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t believe it.¡± ¡°I hate you so much. I hate you. Get me out of here right now.¡­.¡± Then Alan smiled quietly. ¡°It will be hard to conduct business when you can¡¯t lie.¡± ¡°¡­¡­what, are you kidding me¡­¡­.¡± ¡°You have to write, too.¡± That suits you, Melissa. Alan whispered. I lost all my fighting spirit due to the sweet breath that came with the deep scent of alcohol. My mind was all white. Like the sky on that winter day with unprecedented heavy snow. ¡°Ha¡­.¡± I can¡¯t stand him at all. What should I do? I¡¯ve only seen Alan with these eyes and this voice in my dreams¡­¡­. Am I too drunk? Or is he? I managed to move my lips, squeezing out the last bit of strength. ¡°Don¡¯t be mistaken that everyone will love you¡­¡­.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Alan, leaning his chin towards me, was smiling with pleasure at all my words and actions. The sight of the light reflecting on his white skin without defects was just flawless and sublime, so it was inevitable to helplessly draw attention. When I finally had the urge to kiss his gently curving eyes enthusiastically, I closed my eyes as if I had given up. I felt terrible about myself. ¡°No¡­¡± He, Alan Leopold, must be the devil trying to mess me up. In order to get him out of my mind completely, I have to constantly reflect on how much I hate him. So that he can quickly get rid of his twisted interest and finally let me go. ¡°I want you to¡­¡­.¡± But my voice was so small, as if pressed down by something, and I was trembling pitifully. ¡°I hate not being able to speak¡­.. I hate it¡­¡± ¡°Really? Why do you hate it?¡± Alan leaned slowly toward me. As if to tease me, his voice was as small and soft as mine. It¡¯s like trying to soothe a child.¡­. I clenched the hem of my clothes until my fingertips turned white. Even if it¡¯s a fight that I can¡¯t win, I can scratch him. If only he could be a little sick because of me. With that kind of heart, I moved my lips. ¡°The night you come in my dreams, I shudder all day¡­¡­ I hate it terribly.¡± Alan was silent for a moment. It was only for a moment, but I couldn¡¯t even feel his breath. Alan had a subtle face as I looked carefully sideways at him while quivering. He looked black. Did it hurt? Did my words finally hurt him? I was nervously gauging his feelings at a distance that was close to my face, and his petal-like lips finally moved. His voice was secretive as he was telling a secret story, but it had a very fine smile on it. ¡°You must have dreamt of me, Melissa¡­¡­. Many times.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± And when I heard what he said that followed, I had to regret every moment of today. ¡°What did we do in the dreams?¡± ¡°That¡­¡± My mind was pushed to the edge. I don¡¯t think so, but it¡¯s as if he¡¯s caught me in my head.¡­. The phrase ¡®Thief hitting on his thumb¡¯* suits this situation, isn¡¯t it? My face flamed up. It must have been ridiculously red. I hastily covered my face with my hands. (T/N: it¡¯s an idiom, meaning to do something foolish which makes you get caught.) ¡°Huh? I can¡¯t hear you well.¡± (Alan) ¡°¡­¡­ Nightmare. It was a terrible nightmare, you in my dream¡­¡­.¡± In the pitch black darkness, as his sigh-like laughter filled my ears, small goosebumps crept down the nape of my neck. It was irritating beyond words. ¡°Ah¡­.¡± A trembling groan came out from my gritted teeth. Now I was just afraid. To either look at him or not, deciding that alone was hard work. When I lowered my head with my face covered because I was no longer confident of saying anything, I felt a gentle touch on my hair, which still had a little moisture. Of course it was Alan¡¯s hand. Read latest Chapters at Wuxia World . Site Only ¡°Think about it.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Please¡­. Now I didn¡¯t even have the heart to ask. With my eyes closed, I was praying earnestly that the mansion would fall down, or if that didn¡¯t happen, I would just lose my consciousness like this. At that moment, his lips approached my ears and whispered like a dim mist of water. Melissa, was it really a nightmare? Chapter 71 ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? He came to me in my dream last night. The dream I had in the basement of the mansion and Troy was there, but it was actually the first time I had a dream of Alan since I came to the Principality. I think yesterday¡¯s drunkenness was due to the alcohol, but I think it was also because Alan Leopold was so evil that I had such an embarrassing dream. Thinking about last night¡¯s dream makes me so nervous that I can¡¯t help but want to bang my head on the table and jump into a bathtub full of cold water. Really¡­¡­It is said that all dreams come from one¡¯s own consciousness, but I want to put the blame on Alan even if it¡¯s cowardly. It must be so, in reality¡ªeven though it didn¡¯t seem real¡ªhe pressed his lips to the back of my hand and fingertips countless times. The touch almost blew my heart out, so it must have been the trigger. Even now, I don¡¯t think that I really fit the word of being a lady, but I don¡¯t think I¡¯ll ever be a lady. To see such a dre¡­am. A woman who dreams like that can¡¯t be a lady. All of this bad luck occurred because of the last night in the main building¡¯s dining hall. Yesterday, I got to the point where it was hard to breathe just by being close to him, so I jumped up and said I would go back to my room because I am feeling drunk. I felt dizzy and about to collapse, and pleaded with crying eyes. Fortunately, it was quite late, so he didn¡¯t force me to be with him, and I managed to dissuade him from taking me to the annex himself, and returned with the maid. It was a rather shameful finish, but it was the best and the only way for me. As soon as he left the dining hall of the main building, an uncontrollable sense of relief flooded in, but only his last words remained like reverberation and lingered in my ears. The truth is the same now. ¡®Melissa, was it really a nightmare?¡¯ ¡­¡­No. It was such an enchanting dream. The dreams where you come to me are always like that, without exception. ¡°So it was so painful.¡± What the hell was Alan Leopold thinking? How can he touch my weakest part every time? You don¡¯t love me, but just like a lover¡­¡­. No matter how many times I think about it, there is only one conclusion. All I can say is that he has a bad hobby of getting pleasure from bullying people who are weaker than him. The way he called himself weak now makes me laugh. I should have pity on him? Who the hell does he think he¡¯s talking to? I¡¯ve never been in such an intimate and concentrated space with any man before. I¡¯ve never even had a lover until I became an adult, so of course I¡¯ve never had a man who kissed my hand so carefully. But even though that¡¯s Alan Leopold¡­¡­. When I think of the touch of his lips, I still feel dizzy as if my heart would break. Even if I burn along with my hatred, recalling the months of anxiety and fear that caused by Alan, his face automatically disarms me. Even if I feel pathetic and frustrated, there is no way. When I face Alan Leopold, I¡¯m definitely small, like an insignificant grass flower. A fragile person who shakes helplessly at the touch of his breath¡­¡­¡­. From the moment I woke up, I was preoccupied with Alan and my thoughts were filled with him, making it difficult to return to my normal mood. At least it would have been much better if I hadn¡¯t had a strange dream. ¡°¡­¡­I must be crazy.¡± ¡°What do you mean crazy!¡± ¡°Kyaaa!¡± Then a woman with a silver tray rushed into the room and screamed, which made me scream too. It was a mess. It was immediately after that I remembered that I got a personal maid from today. When I woke up in the morning, she was standing at the bedside casually, making me faint with shock. She introduced herself as Sandra Linden. Sandra, who had an impressive tan and healthy skin and carrot-colored hair, was an expressive and talkative woman. From her young age of less than thirty and her bright personality, I don¡¯t know if Alan intended or not, but she seemed perfect for being my companion. She had left the kingdom and came to the Principality of Lunoa when she was fourteen years old, having served the Leopold family since a long time ago. Unlike the existing maids, the frankness of bringing up stories about the family quickly made her likeable. She has served the Leopold family since she was a child, and she left the kingdom when she was fourteen and came to the Principality of Lunoa. However, as soon as I opened my eyes, it was not easy to get familiarised with a strange woman, so I asked her for refreshments, saying, ¡°Let¡¯s talk over tea.¡± It¡¯s been at least an hour, but I didn¡¯t expect to be back this late. I almost forgot her existence. ¡°So, it wasn¡¯t until I came to the Principality that my skin became tanned. You may not know it yet, but Lunoa¡¯s sun is much hotter than Sourne¡¯s!¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I think that¡¯s why there are so many artists¡­¡­ Oh, you asked me why I came so late?¡± ¡°Yes.¡± ¡°Look at my mind!¡± It was a little distracting, but it was still much better than the expressionless maids who were like paper dolls. I like these types of people because it seems that energy is transmitted to me when I see them. My best friend Viola is just like this¡­..I miss Viola. ¡°I worked at the Leopold residence in Florin, not here. It took me a long time to find the kitchen, and when I got there, I had a hard time finding teacups and stuff, miss. I almost got to the main building!¡± ¡°But I hear all the people here are from the Leopold family. You could¡¯ve asked.¡± ¡°Please drop the honorifics!¡± ¡°Oh¡­.you could¡¯ve asked.¡± Only then was Sandra satisfied, scratching one cheek and opening her mouth. ¡°The maids here are very shy. It¡¯s hard to talk to.¡± ¡°That¡¯s true, but you didn¡¯t know a single face?¡± ¡°How many servants of the Leopold family are there? You can¡¯t even imagine it! I¡¯ve been a maid for more than ten years, and since I was originally a maid who only cleaned the places used by the master, it¡¯s safe to say that I don¡¯t know a face.¡± So you were Alan Leopold¡¯s maid? Alan said the maids here weren¡¯t his own people. Does that mean Sandra, who got into the mansion at my request, is his person? But Sandra is no longer a Leopold servant¡­¡­. Come and read on our website wuxia worldsite. Thanks ¡°Sandra.¡± I wondered how she had come to the mansion. ¡°How did you come to the Duchy alone at the age of fourteen?¡± ¡°It is natural to be alone because I have no family!¡± ¡°No, I¡­.¡± That¡¯s not what I meant.¡­. Sandra whispered in a cheerful tone, as if she had noticed my troubled face. ¡°Ah! If you¡¯re asking about why I came to Lunoa after serving the Leopald family all my life¡­¡­! Ah, can I talk about this?¡± ¡°¡­¡­did Sandra get instructions from Alan? You can¡¯t answer what I ask you? Sandra suddenly gave a strange expression to what I said. I was just puzzled, but looking back it became clear that the moment her expression changed was when I said Alan¡¯s name. It¡¯s because I am calling his name without any honorifics. ¡°The master just asked me to help you to be comfortable and have a good time.¡± ¡°Ah¡­.¡± ¡°I hesitated for an answer, anyway, because Leopold is like home to me¡­. I was trying to differentiate between what is allowed to be told to outsiders and what is not.¡± Sandra, who took a sip of the tea with a subtle scent¡ªprobably from another continent¡ªcontinued with a sullen face. ¡°I¡¯ll try to be as careful as I can. I was kicked out of my family when I was 14. To be exact, Mr. Leopold, the master¡¯s father¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Did¡­ you make a big mistake?¡± ¡°Miss, this is what I mean by ¡®what I cannot¡¯. So I¡¯m going to skip it, so please listen.¡± The maid, who said so, immediately moved her lips without waiting for my answer. ¡°At the age of fourteen, I suddenly found myself sitting on the street, and the master secretly took care of me. He arranged a boat for me to leave for the principality and gave me settlement funds.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± The story of Alan, who must have been a young boy at the time, carefully helping the expelled employee is quite impressive, but I can¡¯t believe that it¡¯s a foreign country. Is there an implicit rule among Sourne¡¯s wealthy men that doesn¡¯t accept a maid thrown out of the Leopold family? The influence of the name Leopold hurts to say the least, so it¡¯s good to stay out of their sights¡­.¡­. I don¡¯t know the details, but I felt numb to imagine that she had boarded a ship alone to the Principality at the age of 14. As an adult and having a family, it was unbearably sad for me. ¡°I¡¯ve been doing all sorts of things since I came here, and recently I¡¯ve been taking a little break, but last night, the master¡¯s person came and called me to the mansion.¡± ¡°Last night, straight away¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I¡¯m grateful for that, but I can¡¯t believe you¡¯re such a sweet and beautiful lady! I¡¯m so happy.¡± The sight of Sandra clasping my hands together as if in ecstasy almost made me cry. I can¡¯t believe I¡¯m sweet and beautiful¡­.. ¡°You don¡¯t have to force yourself to look good, Sandra.¡± ¡°Actually, I came to the Principality and took care of a few young ladies. At first, I was really happy because I always wanted to serve a young lady.¡± ¡­¡­Suddenly experienced? ¡°But they weren¡¯t as sweet as you. You¡¯re the first person to ask me to have tea with you! I¡¯ve never seen anyone listen to me this well! I¡¯ll serve you with all my heart!¡± ¡°¡­¡­I know I¡¯m kind to some degree. To be precise, I¡¯m just trying to look kind. But¡­.¡± As I blurted out, Sandra gave a smirk. Her two cheeks, which rose up, were somehow elated. ¡°You¡¯re embarrassed, aren¡¯t you? But I mean it when I say you¡¯re beautiful!¡± ¡°I was just telling you to listen.¡± I answered because I was somehow dispirited. I wasn¡¯t embarrassed or anything like that. ¡°I know I¡¯m normal. So you don¡¯t have to flatter me on purpose. As you can see, I¡¯m not as noble as the ladies you served, I don¡¯t hate Sandra just because she doesn¡¯t say that¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Oh, my God, miss! What are you talking about?¡± Then Sandra made a big fuss and waved her hands. ¡°That¡¯s not what I said! You may not be a conspicuously gorgeous beauty, but my young master has a very good sense of beauty!¡± ¡°¡­¡­what?¡± ¡°I said it wasn¡¯t just me!¡± Read latest Chapters at Wuxia World . Site Only (T/N: she¡¯s saying she¡¯s not the only one who finds Mel sweet and beautiful) No, it¡¯s not that¡­¡­. ¡°Oh! I mean that Master Alan loves beautiful things!¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°But why is your face suddenly¡­¡­. Are you feeling hot? Chapter 72 ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? ¡°Do you want me to wash your body if it¡¯s hot?¡± ¡°N-no¡­.¡± ¡°Ah! Lady, are you being shy again?¡± Sandra¡¯s eyes lit up as I clenched my fists over the tea table. Like watching an exciting sports game. I¡¯m going to snort at this rate¡­¡­. ¡°Ahem, anyway, there is no doubt that Master Alan treasures you, so there¡¯s nothing to be ashamed of.¡± You¡¯re already calling him by his name. Sandra¡¯s eyes gleamed again as she muttered. She seems to be clueless. ¡°Treasure me, It¡¯s not like that. First of all, he¡¯s got the name¡­¡­.¡± Phew, I don¡¯t think this is going to work. Those are eyes that are blindly faithful no matter how I look at them. Instead of talking about Alan¡¯s true nature, which she won¡¯t believe, I¡¯ve decided to focus on getting to know the exact circumstances and gathering clues that will help me get out of this place. ¡°Sandra, I want to ask you something¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Yes! Feel free to ask me anything. If a difficult story comes up, I will avoid it.¡± With that said, I immediately asked a question. ¡°Does Alan have a lover?¡± ¡°Master? Are you asking if he has any other lovers?¡± ¡°What do you mean by other lovers?¡± ¡°Are you worried whether he has a lover other than you?¡± ¡°¡­What?¡± I thought she meant he had several lovers¡­¡­. The amber eyes that were so innocent that I felt dizzy. ¡°I¡¯m not his lover, Sandra.¡± ¡°You¡¯re not?¡± It was me who felt embarrassed, but she looked surprised. I don¡¯t know if she heard anything strange from Alan, or if Sandra is an admirer of love. ¡°Look at that window. Does it make sense to have that kind of bar in your lover¡¯s room? Besides, I can¡¯t even get out of this detached house. I¡¯m stuck¡­¡­.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°How can I be a lover?¡± Sandra paused for a moment as if choosing her words, and then answered in a voice different from before. ¡°I¡¯ve heard that you¡¯re a person who writes love stories. Then you know that there are many different forms of love. There¡¯s love in which the person hides what is valuable and precious to them.¡± ¡°No, that kind of love¡­.¡± ¡°He kept your name a secret.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± At those words, I turned pale. Was the reason why the maids or Mr. Maurice didn¡¯t call my name, because Alan hid my name? ¡­How come? Sandra quickly continued, as if she felt my expression was unusual. ¡°Master is a person who is not good at expressing his emotions. But there are unavoidable circumstances.¡± ¡°¡­Unavoidable circumstances?¡± ¡°Yes, My Lady. So, don¡¯t be too resentful and can¡¯t you wait a little bit for the master?¡± Sandra had serious eyes. Her voice is also calm and subdued. But do I have to understand Alan Leopold and wait? Why? It¡¯s true that I had a crush on him for many years, but it¡¯s only because of his integrity and brilliance. His misfortunes and circumstances are not strictly my concern. Who is better suited to the word misfortune in the first place? A faint sneer burst out when I recalled the straight face that called himself a weakling. ¡­¡­It¡¯s nothing to be ashamed of. ¡°I can¡¯t help it if he is cold because he grew up in such a lonely and harsh environment, but if you know how much he has been working on charity and relief for the poor¡­¡± ¡°He¡¯s a businessman, Sandra. Is there anything he won¡¯t do as long as he can make people feel good and make a profit from it?¡± Then Sandra, who put down the cookie she had eaten in a firm motion, continued. ¡°Thank you for doing me a favor, miss. But why are you denigrating Master Alan? You don¡¯t even know him.¡± What denigration¡­ I thought as I smoothed my temple, which had begun to throb again. I didn¡¯t mean to say this. ¡°Sandra, I¡¯ve actually watched him for quite a long time. It was a one-sided love. I can¡¯t say I know everything about Alan Leopold, but it¡¯s wrong to say I know nothing.¡± ¡°I know, miss. You even delivered a letter to the master.¡± ¡°Lett¡­¡± ¡­..Although it didn¡¯t look like it did, how far did this matter spread? I broke out a cold sweat with embarrassment. Then Sandra pushed the untouched teacup toward me a little more and said with a worried face. ¡°I heard you drank too much yesterday. That¡¯s why I brought this tea, miss. I think it¡¯s herbal tea.¡± ¡°What?¡± ¡°You have a headache. Do you not like the smell of tea?¡± Ah¡­ I felt a strange sense of emptiness. ¡°¡­¡­No, I¡¯ll drink. Thank you.¡± I drank the tea in silence, feeling like I had lost to her somehow. Then Sandra continued, looking a little relieved. ¡°Don¡¯t fight with your feelings right now, lady. Can¡¯t you trust and give the master a little time?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± The words made me wonder for a moment. How could Alan Leopold give his maid such firm faith? I don¡¯t think he would have been a very gentle master. Come and read on our website wuxia worldsite. Thanks Sandra¡¯s weird, too. Does she think that if she tells someone whom she met for the first time to trust her, they¡¯ll believe her? Seriously? Such blind trust. ¡°I think sincerity always works. The master and the lady¡ª¡± ¡°All right, Sandra.¡± I had neither the will nor the confidence to turn Sandra back by revealing all of Allen¡¯s misdeeds. So, first of all, I decided to block her words. I was actually all over the place last night because of Alan¡¯s strangely painted attitude and the dream that made me blush just by recalling it. It¡¯s hard to keep listening to people talking about whether we¡¯re lovers or anything serious. I decided to ask the story I¡¯ve been curious about all along, just hoping my face wasn¡¯t too hot. About Mr. Maurice who will visit me again tomorrow afternoon. ¡°I¡¯d like to ask you something else, do you happen to know Mr. Maurice?¡± ¡°¡­¡­Mr. Maurice?¡± ¡°Yes. Green eyes, dark hair and glasses. He has a sensitive impression.¡­.¡± ¡°I know who he is, miss!¡± Sandra hurriedly stopped me as I folded my fingers and began to recite his impressions. ¡°Really? I thought you wouldn¡¯t remember him because he has a hazy expression¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I can¡¯t remember. But I¡¯m not sure if I can talk about him.¡± ¡°What does that mean? As expected, that person¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Umm¡­¡­.¡± Sandra put the bite-sized cookie into her mouth, and with a serious face, diligently chewed it, then swallowed it. Her next words were completely unexpected. ¡°The part I can¡¯t tell you is not about Mr. Maurice. It is precisely about the one he loves.¡± * * * The restaurant, with the melody of elegant string instruments, had a very splendid and solemn appearance. There was a huge chandelier hanging from the dome-shaped tall ceiling, and long windows surrounded it horizontally. The floor was covered with dark red carpets, and the walls were filled with classical and elegant paintings. It was the grandeur of the oldest restaurant in Lunos, the capital of the Principality. ¡°Baby¡­¡± Monica¡¯s beautiful eyebrows curled pitifully. ¡°Did you sleep outside last night?¡± ¡°It¡¯s none of your business.¡± Alan, who was on the edge of his seat, responded with a cool face. She was ignorant of his mood and it only annoyed him again. No, she came out of nowhere and she couldn¡¯t be more annoying than this place. ¡°Come to me sometimes, Alan. Just like when we were young¡­¡­. I¡¯ll put you to sleep anytime.¡± ¡°Ha, is it because I don¡¯t have anywhere to sleep?¡± ¡°But¡­ rather than staying at a hotel or a social club¡­¡­.¡± Tsk. As Alan irritatingly gripped his cravat due to the noise, a man in neat clothes approached them. His face had a rather refreshing look, considering that he had the servants with ferocious eyes behind his back. ¡°Sir Alan, Miss Elwood.¡± With a light greeting, he pulled down his black bowler hat, and the sunlight pouring in from the window made his brilliant blonde hair dazzle. ¡°Hello, Your Highness.¡± ¡°Your Highness, welcome.¡± As Alan and Monica greeted him, Bentley sat down next to Monica as if waiting. Then he waved his hand and sent his servants away. ¡°Hoo, the Principality is pretty hot. I came here suddenly, thank you for taking the time to come. Especially Miss Elwood.¡± ¡°Of course, Your Highness.¡± Alan¡¯s forehead, listening to the abominable conversation between the two, crumpled. Having been busier than when he was in the kingdom, he only wanted to leave two idle people and go back to the office right away. Indeed, his mind was full of determination to finish the early stages as soon as possible and get his hands on the daily routine of returning home every evening. Last night, Alan paid tribute to his artist by kissing each one of her white little fingers. He felt a little better when he remembered her cheeks and neck, which had been colored with a beautiful color. I hope she likes the maid. ¡°Sir Alan,¡± At that moment, the prince broke his thoughts. Alan straightened his posture because he needed to focus on him to leave as quickly as possible. ¡°Your Highness, what brings you to the Principality all of a sudden?¡± Bentley raised the champagne in front of him and curved his sharp eyes and smiled. ¡°Well, isn¡¯t it natural that I came here to celebrate the launch of my close friend¡¯s business unit?¡± ¡°Ha, I don¡¯t know what to do with you.¡± Alan smiled after him too. Of course, the cool eyes that didn¡¯t match the season weren¡¯t smiling at all. Alan opened his mouth as the two people, who had given up waiting for him to raise his glass, gently clashed their own. He gently sweeps his black hair as thick as the night sky. ¡°It is already an extraordinary celebration to see you in good health. But I think I have to get up and go because I am busy with work.¡± ¡°¡­¡­Alan!¡± Monica screamed without realizing as Alan got up neatly. However, her red lips were soon closed because she was conscious of the eyes around her. ¡°I hope the food suits your taste. Then, I will take my leave.¡± Read latest Chapters at Wuxia World . Site Only Alan, who was well-mannered and elegant, turned to the stairs without hesitation. Careful glances followed the tall stature, broad shoulders, and beautiful appearance that caught the eye. Of course, the gaze that stayed behind his back the longest was Monica¡¯s. ¡°Monica.¡± Monica turned her head in surprise at Bentley¡¯s relaxed call, and her beautiful hair fluttered like a red wave. Her blue eyes trembled as if she was not used to the name coming out of the prince¡¯s mouth, no, it was as if she didn¡¯t want to get used to it. ¡°Let¡¯s talk now.¡± Chapter 73 ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? ¡°Let¡¯s talk now.¡± Bentley grinned with a hungry beast¡¯s expression. Monica felt her eyes darken. Leaving me alone with this snake-like cunning and dangerous man. She knew Alan was carrying out a murderous schedule, and he wasn¡¯t happy with the prince. Nevertheless, the reason why she was in such desperate despair was that she did not feel any emotion from Allen even though she clearly showed him an intimate contact with the prince. ¡®I didn¡¯t even want him to be jealous, I just¡­¡­.¡¯ Monica regretted accepting the prince¡¯s offer in a fit of anger. If she had ignored it, she wouldn¡¯t have had to go through this misery. However, just as spilled water cannot be picked up again, Monica could only chew the inside of her mouth with a miserable heart. ¡°You don¡¯t have to look like that. It¡¯s true that I rushed here with the thought of meeting you, but I¡¯m not that thin*.¡± (*Korean idiom meaning- a man without self respect) ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°At least I brought a story that will appeal to you.¡± Monica¡¯s thin eyebrows frowned at the prince¡¯s words who talked with a beastly smile. Obviously, it won¡¯t be something that would make her happier since it must be the story of Alan¡¯s new hobby. The prince¡¯s words will once again cause a violent storm in her precarious heart, and it is only her who has to deal with it. ¡°Did you know that some of Leopold¡¯s employees were from the royal palace?¡± ¡°I didn¡¯t know, Your Highness.¡± Monica answered without a change in her face colour, but she knew the truth. It was natural for her since she is Ian Leopold¡¯s only biological child, and considered the Leopold mansion as her playground since her memory existed. About ten years ago, it was thanks to Ian Leopold and his family that the Kingdom of Sourne was able to conclude a trade agreement on satisfactory terms at the first meeting with the great East Nation. One of the gifts the royal family sent to the Leopold family in honor of the service was the servants of the royal palace. ¡°Those who work in the royal palace are inherently strong. There is no need to move from one family to another in search of a better environment, so they do not scatter easily, but the pride of working for the royal palace is their strongest bond above all.¡± ¡°¡­Why are you telling me this?¡± ¡°The Head of Leopold attached his people to his only son who left for the Principality. Well, there may have been other intentions, but¡­¡­.¡± The prince added softly, spinning the half-remaining glass of champagne slowly in the air. ¡°What¡¯s important is that some royal maids are mingled with them and they¡¯re still in touch with the ladies of the palace.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t you wonder what the noble heir of Leopold hid in his beautiful old castle?¡± For a moment, Monica felt the illusion that the sweet cello melody that filled the space had stopped. ¡°In Alan Leopold¡¯s castle, there¡¯s a woman.¡± ¡°What the¡­¡± Her mind went blank as if her heart had been crushed. Before she knew it, appetizers began to be placed on the table, but Monica didn¡¯t even realize that the server was approaching. She managed to part her lips as she repeatedly took silent deep breaths with a nervous look. ¡°¡­I stayed there for a few days, but the only woman there was the maid. Are you telling me that he actually cares about a maid?¡± ¡°No, Monica. Why are you running away from it? You know who I¡¯m talking about.¡± The blonde man grinned as he lightly crushed a lemon slice in the air. Transparent juice dripped onto the green salad plate in front of him. Monica suddenly remembered that Alan had said he was going to the Principality with a young woman with the surname Collins. So was that true? However, when Monica arrived at the mansion before anyone else, waited for Alan, and even greeted him in person when he entered the mansion. There was no woman who came with him. She replied with a faint smile. ¡°No way, Your Highness.¡± Her red lips slowly curled up. But Bentley didn¡¯t notice that her lips were trembling slightly with anxiety. ¡°It¡¯s not enough to say that the woman named Collins came all the way here to Lunoa. Now are you saying that she lives with Alan? It¡¯s the most absurd story I¡¯ve ever heard.¡± ¡°Absurd? You don¡¯t want to believe it?¡± ¡°¡­¡­maids are inherently fond of rumors. Alan Leopold is the most delicious ingredient to make a rumor.¡± At that desperate voice, the prince suddenly felt his appetite change. ¡°Did I ever come to you without any certainty?¡± At this moment, there was nothing more delicious than the woman in front of him. ¡°I summoned the maids who exchanged letters with the mansion of the Principality and visited them. Of course with a sword and a whip[1], so they won¡¯t think of lying.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Do you still of it as a rumor?¡± Monica was at a loss for words. How could he brutally intimidate his subordinates over something like this? He is indeed a pestilence that eats away at the royal family. I wish I hadn¡¯t been involved with him in the first place¡­¡­. But it¡¯s too late. ¡°Prince, I have only recently left the mansion. The traces of a strange woman¡ª¡± ¡°Do you know there¡¯s a dungeon in the old castle?¡± ¡°Dungeon¡­?¡± That¡¯s not surprising given that it¡¯s such an old castle with that size. Then the prince¡¯s long lips with a scar opened gently. ¡°I think he is hiding that woman there. They said she¡¯s staying in a detached house now.¡± Monica¡¯s forehead was contorted into such a mess that she could no longer handle it. ¡°¡­¡­I understand what you are saying. But how can you guarantee that she¡¯s Collins?¡± ¡°My friend, Alan, threatened me not to follow her, so I stopped chasing her, but I continued to investigate her.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Come and read on our website wuxia worldsite. Thanks ¡°These days are full of boring things, so I¡¯m worried if I won¡¯t have this kind of fun.¡± The prince, who burst out laughing, poked the red tomato on the plate with a fork. Monica frowned slightly at the unfamiliar displeasure. ¡°A woman who writes is quite interesting. She might not be that great, but since the royal family is helping with her education abroad, she must be talented.¡± She may not be that great, but since the royal family is applying for her to study abroad, she must be talented ¡°¡­Writing?¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know since when my elegant friend has been so fond of literature¡­¡­.¡± Bentley smirked. But the face of the woman sitting opposite him was becoming pale. One day, the memory of seeing a poem written in the handwriting of a young woman on his desk in his room crossed her mind. No way. Since then. Bentley, who was looking at the beautiful trembling shoulder, opened his mouth again. ¡°The funny thing is, none of the servants know her name. How secretive.¡± ¡°¡­¡­then it might not be the Collins.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t know¡± Bentley turned to Monica and supported his elbow on the table and rested his chin on his hand as if he was no longer interested in the food. ¡°I found her boarding records. Last month, she was cutely on the same ship as Alan.¡± ¡°Huh, she was in the moonlight? Her?¡± ¡°But I heard that she hasn¡¯t even appeared at the academy she is supposed to enroll in¡­¡­¡­. The dormitory room assigned to her is still vacant.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Monica felt an uncontrollable anger. There was only one thought in her head. ¡®I¡¯m going to the detached house.¡¯ The obvious fact is that Alan rarely stays in a mansion. Monica¡¯s eyes were gleaming as if she was going to visit his mansion at any moment. No matter how much he tells her not to come, Leopold¡¯s servants can never leave Monica outside the door. To them, she is, after all, a woman who is no one but the hostess of the castle. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Your Highness, but I have to go to his mansion right now. Your Highness said you wanted to help me, didn¡¯t you? I think you know how I feel right now. So¡­.¡± The prince still looked relaxed. ¡°What about the meal? The food will be served soon.¡± ¡°¡­¡­There¡¯s no way I will be held back by this.¡± Bentley, who saw Monica¡¯s body tremble, arranged his clothes as if he was about to get up together. The prince also agreed that the food cannot hold them back in a situation like this. ¡°I understand how you feel, Monica but in such a state, things will go wrong.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°It¡¯s not too late to visit after you¡¯ve been in good control of your body and mind.¡± The prince, who rose up, looked down at her with a languishing face and reached out his hand. ¡°Let¡¯s go to your house first.¡± * * * ¡°Is it Mr. Leopold?¡± As he walked down the magnificent stairs at a fast pace, Alan stopped at the voice of the old man calling him. ¡°That¡¯s true! What a coincidence.¡± ¡°¡­¡­Brigadier General[2] Riemann.¡± The sight of the old man running towards me at an erratic pace forced Alan to hide the cold expression on his face. Unsurprisingly, the brigadier with an excited face bombarded a load of questions. ¡°Are you here alone? It¡¯s too early to leave after dinner. Did you leave a woman standing outside? Huh? Is it?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Riemann was a tycoon in the Lunoa socialite and a well-known public figure. To the extent that it is said that to start a business here, you have to go through Riemann, it was a rite of passage for any young businessman to greet him. Of course, Leopold¡¯s successor, Alan, had already met with Brigadier General before coming to the Principality, and had attended the parties he hosted with his father a few times. However, this was the story of his childhood, and it was a completely different story for Alan, who had to break out of his father¡¯s fence and stand alone, to meet Riemann as a business partner. Alan visited Riemann the day after he came to the Principality, and talked about business and international affairs in a manner that was neither excessive nor insufficient. He led a friendly atmosphere with skillful manners, so it was definitely a successful declaration ceremony. But there was one problem between them: Riemann was very much fond of this wonderfully grown young and beautiful businessman. ¡°It¡¯s a nice day, why don¡¯t we go boating soon? Oh! My nephew is going to open an exhibition in four days. I really want you to come.¡± Riemann¡¯s wrinkled lips were restless all the way down the stairs together. Despite having wealth and honor, the old and debilitating body missed the glory of the past endlessly. His morbid obsession with youth used to get worse when he saw a beautiful young man, and Alan was at the pinnacle of his obsession. ¡°She says that she wants to see you again.¡± Is he going to follow me to the carriage? Alan answered neatly, barely holding back his soaring irritation. ¡°Is that so?¡± ¡°I think she has started studying Sournaire recently, so can¡¯t you help her?¡± The Brigadier¡¯s daughter. Alan¡¯s eyebrows twitched slightly at the thought of the low, obnoxious woman, but the Brigadier General, who didn¡¯t notice it, added in a cheerful tone. Read latest Chapters at Wuxia World . Site Only ¡°Of course that¡¯s just an excuse. But please be fooled.¡± ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? [1] to threaten or scare [2] a rank of officer in the US army, air force, and marine corps, above colonel and below major general. T/N: The title of the chapter is the lyrics from the song ¡°Blank Space¡± from the album ¡°1989¡± written and performed by Taylor Swift. Chapter 74 ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? ¡°It¡¯s going to be difficult.¡± Alan expressed a polite and roundabout rejection. ¡°It¡¯s embarrassing, but because the business hasn¡¯t settled yet, even ten bodies aren¡¯t enough.¡± Riemann didn¡¯t mind at all. Rather, the fact that his daughter, who missed her marriage with this beautiful young man, is reborn as a lover only makes his lips busier as if it was his last breath. ¡°What are you talking about? It¡¯s surprising how fast it¡¯s stabilizing! The Rail investment is already in the final stages, and the brokerage trade¡ª¡± ¡°No, we still have a long way to go. I still rarely go home.¡± The Brigadier lowered his eyebrows as if it was pathetic about the story of a young businessman who rarely enters the house. Of course this was what Alan intended. Feel free to sympathize with him, since he hoped that the eccentric Brigadier would no longer call him for trifle matters. ¡°Mr. Leopold, let me be blunt.¡± Riemann smoothed his gray moustache and said in a solemn voice. ¡°Your fiery passion and ability is great. To the extent that all the young people of the Principality want to follow your suit but you shouldn¡¯t overwork yourself like that. If you don¡¯t have enough rest, you¡¯ll end up with ashes in the raging flames.¡± Alan had an innocent face as if he was listening to Riemann, but inside he only wanted him to go away. After all, such a lengthy speech would be nothing more than a blatant call to answer calls more often. Alan felt less resentful towards his mountain load of work than mingling with weary humans. But Riemann¡¯s story that followed was truly absurd. ¡°So you should meet a woman. Women are the best rest.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Perhaps the brigadier general¡¯s purpose was to have his daughter meet him. Such a disgusting old man Alan¡¯s expression hardened and the dwarfed old man¡ªIt is clear that he must have been short even when he was young, considering his body was dwarfed by aging¡ªdidn¡¯t notice his expression even a bit but of course he wasn¡¯t such a gentleman to begin with, that he would stop just because he noticed it. ¡°Then things will work out better! An existence called a woman is a blessing and a miracle! Hmm, not like that.¡± ¡°Thank you for your words,¡± ¡°Why don¡¯t you meet my daughter? You know, she¡¯s impeccably good.¡± Why was the three-story building so annoyingly long? Unable to ignore the old man¡¯s stride and run down, Alan stepped without answering. Lady Riemann was a low-class woman who came to the men¡¯s social gatherings and kept bumping into him. He couldn¡¯t even remember her name, let alone the face, except for the terrible scent and the appearance of hanging loose jewelry. He had enough of everyone in the kingdom¡¯s social circles, but she was by far the worst of all. She¡¯s unworthy of even having a decent meeting. Looking down at the old gentleman, who is one head smaller than him, the young businessman recited in a cool low voice enough to hold the heart of every woman in the Principality. ¡°I don¡¯t know her yet.¡± His words are truly unreliable. Riemann thought that it was obviously annoying to talk to an old man, so he was just hanging around. But the Brigadier, on the other hand, was wondering all along that there was no scandal about the great handsome man from Sourne. Marcella, his daughter who gleamed her eyes to please Alan, found out that there was one case of a rumor about him in the kingdom, but that it was a rumor made up by a frivolous braggart, and no matter how much she digs, nothing comes out. It¡¯s beyond comprehension. Riemann felt like he was hitting a wall because of the beautiful appearance that was admired by not only the woman but also her men, and the youth that was more radiant than the sun. ¡®I¡¯m sure he¡¯s not shy temperament¡­¡­hmm.¡¯ The Brigadier general¡¯s eyes, breathing out his nose and slowly smoothing his dried beard, suddenly opened up. He asked, moving his gray eyebrows. ¡°Do you have a lady you like?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Alan turned his head back to the front at those words and fell into thought with a tired face. It would be less cumbersome to leave it that way. ¡°Yes.¡± ¡°From which family is she from? Yes?¡± ¡°It¡¯s something I haven¡¯t told anyone yet, so I¡¯m being careful.¡± The Brigadier general was surprised, and immediately smiled with a contented satisfaction. You told me this amazing news first. It was the most pleasant thing. Riemann asked in a low voice. ¡°Is she the princess of the Principality?¡± ¡°A woman from Sourne.¡± ¡°Huh, I don¡¯t think the duchy¡¯s woman is not to your taste. How many artistic ladies are there? Like my daughter Marcella!¡± ¡­¡­was that her name? Well, that wasn¡¯t the point at all. Before he realised it, the stairs were over, and the two were now heading for the door. Perhaps this chatty old man was really trying to follow him to the front of the carriage. Alan replied in a neat tone. ¡°She¡¯s also an artist, Brigadier general.¡± ¡°Oh, really? Are you going to get married? I¡¯ll tell you, it¡¯s better to get married early no matter what!¡± Come and read on our website wuxia worldsite. Thanks ¡°Is that so?¡± ¡°Because of the youthful energy, you may have to remarry soon if you have any chance. When you¡¯re as energetic as you can¡­¡­ Oops, slip of the tongue! It doesn¡¯t mean Leopold will.¡± ¡°I¡¯ve never thought about marriage, but¡­¡­.¡± Alan was, of course, in the middle of a proper horse as a business partner. It would have been better if this didn¡¯t bother me any more. But he didn¡¯t realize he was smiling. ¡°She¡¯s the woman I¡¯ve been dreaming of.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± He didn¡¯t know this icy man would smile like this. The Brigadier stopped talking only to stare at the beautiful profile. * * * ¡®What I can¡¯t tell you is not about Mr. Maurice. It¡¯s about the one he loves.¡¯ I shouldn¡¯t be doing this in front of people, but I was recalling the conversation I had with Sandra with a blank expression on my face. ¡®He had been called.¡¯ Mr. Maurice was a tutor employed by the Leopold family long ago. The child he would teach would of course have been Alan, the only descendant of the family but Sandra says that Mr. Maurice was employed in the Principality of Lunoa. First of all, he¡¯s a Lunoan. At first, I thought there was a family villa in the Principality, but I had never heard of a tutor hired only when the owner¡¯s family came on vacation. If it¡¯s a long vacation, of course, it¡¯s normal to bring a home tutor along with you. In the end I came to the conclusion that the child Mr. Morris taught was not Alan. As expected, Alan wasn¡¯t the only heir to Leopold. His father had three weddings, so no one would be surprised if he had an illegitimate child. Above all¡­ ¡®Mr. Maurice was teaching the student and he fell in love with the student.¡¯ [1] ¡­¡­the person must not have been Alan. He said his muse was definitely a woman. In any case, Mr. Maurice fell in love with his student, and it seems that he could not hide it, but soon after, it reached to the point where there were no servants who didn¡¯t know about it. It would have been a natural step to be criticized for the difference in status. Because he dared to have a heart for the girl he served. In the end, Mr. Maurice was on the verge of being thrown out of the mansion, but the student reportedly came forward and defended him. I thought they¡¯d return to such a normal employer-employee relationship, but years later Mr. Maurice left the mansion on his own. Now Alan called him back. To teach me. Sandra doesn¡¯t know what kind of life Mr. Maurice led while he was away from the mansion, but aside from that, I was very curious about what happened to the two of them and where she is now. However, when I asked about her, Sandra shook her head firmly, and there was no way I could get the answer However, it is certain that Maurice¡¯s love did not come true. His eyes are never the eyes of a lover ¡ª like when Viola looks at Jacob, or when Mrs Kerney recalls her husband. It wasn¡¯t that he had eyes that contempt love. He looks rather sad. Like a man tired of love. Especially today, he looks especially pale. Did something happen? While I was thinking about it, I suddenly realized. That I had been lost in thoughts for too long, while leaving the guest. What a rude thing to do. However, the pledge to bring up anything soon withered. It was partly because Mr. Maurice looked so dark, and I didn¡¯t know what to say. When we last met, it bothered me that we only had emotional conversations, and in fact, there was usually nothing to speak apart from that also I can¡¯t tell him what happened the night I met Alan¡­¡­. ¡°Miss.¡± It was then that Mr. Maurice, who had been silent for as long as I had been, opened his mouth. ¡°As promised, I should have come yesterday, but I apologize for coming today after a day.¡± ¡°Oh, no. You don¡¯t have to apologize.¡­.¡± ¡°As someone hired to teach you, I¡¯m really ashamed of myself.¡± Mr. Maurice sighed, dropping his weary gaze. I was a little embarrassed because I didn¡¯t expect to receive such a sincere apology from him, who was hired by Alan, even though he hadn¡¯t even started to teach me yet. I was not used to receiving such a heavy apology from a stranger, so I couldn¡¯t move on without being calm. So I returned a polite answer. ¡°Did something happen yesterday? You don¡¯t look well, but if you¡¯re not feeling well, don¡¯t come and rest for a while¡­¡­.¡± I meant what I said. I still didn¡¯t intend to learn literature from him, and I didn¡¯t feel comfortable facing him. ¡°I met her yesterday. The first time we met again.¡­ It¡¯s been a long time.¡± But it was never my intention to make him bring up a difficult story. Moreover, I had no idea he would shed tears like this¡­¡­. ¡°Mr. Maurice¡­.¡± ¡°My love is also self-destructive. I said I could die for her, but¡­¡­.¡± Thick drops of tears fell from his eyes, with his head down. ¡°She wouldn¡¯t want anything from me in the first place. This love will only destroy me, slowly gnaw at me¡­¡­.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Self-destructive love. I was close to it too. Read latest Chapters at Wuxia World . Site Only Even if it is not a love that is immortal, there were countless nights where I¡¯d shed tears of sorrow that melted my heart. The moment I hated my humble self and couldn¡¯t stand, it easily came and strangled me. ¡°Mr. Maurice, I¡­¡­.¡± So I whispered in a slightly trembling, nonetheless determined voice. ¡°I¡¯ll write it, the novel.¡± ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? Chapter 75 ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? [T/N: Pov shifts to Mr. Maurice] Abel Maurice had frequent, fleeting thoughts that it would have been better if he had never been born. Meeting her was all because he was born, so if it hadn¡¯t occurred in the first place, he wouldn¡¯t have suffered from the antics of such a terrible fate. But no curse words, even his ferocious desire to give up everything, was weaker than the love he had. It¡¯s cruel indeed. It was deep, when the first ray of the sun had not yet touched the sky, that the man had come to his old cottage. The woman did not allow him to find her first, and it was the first time in months that she had visited him in person. Under these circumstances, he couldn¡¯t complain about time. Without hesitation, Abel got dressed and followed the attendant. Even though it was midsummer, it was an exceptionally cold morning. How long did he walk in the dark? All of a sudden he stopped his foot. There was a carriage with a red rose pattern engraved on it like her hair. It was only natural that his heart started beating so hard that it was painful. ¡®Milady.¡¯ But when he got into the carriage, Abel¡¯s heart, which was pounding with nervous and overwhelming expectations, was crushed in an instant. She was his sun, his world and everything, but here she was weeping pitifully. ¡®Milady.¡¯ A lonely dawn incites despair. A faint sob that came out, brutally cut Abel¡¯s heart swiftly. He held his brilliant goddess in his arms with trembling hands and wept after her. The story he heard from her, who had slowly stopped crying, was enough to give Abel a burning rage and frustration. The one and only prince of the Sourne. How dare that damned man¡­¡­. ¡®No, Abel. I¡­ I¡¯m the one who seduced him.¡¯ Perhaps she had escaped under the guise of a night walk, and the carriage carrying the two returned to her mansion. But Monica strongly refused to get out of the carriage. She screamed that she would not return to the house where she slept with that terrible Prince. In the end, Abel had no choice but to plead with the coachman to return to his humble cottage. So a rose of night dew bloomed in his old house. Like a miracle in a pile of ruins. Abel always thought it was a miracle to breathe with Monica. It was also tearfully ecstatic to be able to drink her breath in his own house. In that hot and fragrant pleasure, Abel felt his consciousness disappearing several times. He fell into a restless sleep with his arms around her shoulders, and when the woman in her arms tossed and turned slightly, he opened his eyes as if he was on fire. And every time she was held by him. He was so happy that his heart was pounding. The room with the window closed was immersed in pitch-black darkness for a long time. The morning, which had already lit up the entire city, did not reach their bed. Even when time passed and it was no longer possible to tell whether this was a dream or reality, the two were still entangled. Abel hugged her slender waist a little harder for a moment. It was unimaginable behavior for him but then he kissed her shoulders which were as smooth as satin and begged in a hoarse voice. ¡®Milady, I hope you will stop abusing yourself because of an impossible relationship¡­¡­.¡¯ ¡®¡­¡­.¡¯ ¡®If you¡¯re only going to be sick like this, I¡¯d rather¡­¡­ My wom¡­¡­.¡¯ ¡®You are already mine, Abel.¡¯ Her voice was as dry as a desert. ¡®You are not mine, are you? Please¡­¡­.¡¯ Behind Monica¡¯s unanswered back, Abel Maurice wept for a long time. After letting go of the woman today, will he meet her again in a few months? Maybe longer than that. He was going to have to live another death-like life, waiting endlessly for her who might come at any time. When Abel, who was tired and asleep after sobbing for a long time in silence, had woken up, Monica was already gone. He was used (by her), but Abel didn¡¯t know she was his refuge. His love was like this from the beginning. Still, he never felt anger, or even anything close to it, towards Monica. It was just heartbreaking because all he felt was endless affection and love. He had vowed countless times to take care of her and help her until his body and heart crumbled down. So, the vain wish for her to be his wasn¡¯t out of greed either. Of course he couldn¡¯t deny it if he didn¡¯t want her, but Abel wanted to set Monica free. She¡¯s suffering from love that can¡¯t be achieved just like him. He wished he was the only one who had to feel the pain. Abel, who may not be as great and flawless as that man (Alan), Abel was confident that he would live his life devoted to her only. But Monica was also a wreck like him because her eyes and ears were blinded by love, she could not move or look back without that love. Poor Elwood¡¯s Rose. ¡®Abel Maurice.¡¯ It was literally a golden opportunity for Abel that Alan called him up in the Principality. Like Leopold¡¯s name, he was always shrewd and secretive. Abel Maurice was lucky because it was given to entrust something to a person who knew their family affairs. To his surprise, however, Alan had a strange woman hidden in his castle. It wasn¡¯t the only thing that puzzled him. It was because the work given to him was to help her complete her novel, which she had stopped. Abel, unable to grasp his intentions at all, wondered if the woman was Alan Leopold¡¯s secret lover. If the two were really lovers, Monica would of course be in pain, and she would cry a lot, but she might finally be free from false expectations. But, unfortunately, nothing like the deepest desperation was read from Alan. He just felt an unknown obsession from Alan. Moreover, the obsession seemed to be directed toward the novel rather than towards women. Whatever it is, this can¡¯t be love. Abel, who accepted his request, asked him to grant his request in lieu of the large wage. Offering the condition that her novel, even if it is not a simple novel, must be completed. Alan Leopold is a born businessman who has always been perfectly aware of gains and losses. He was an immediate helper if it was to his benefit, and as expected, he accepted Abel¡¯s request. Come and read on our website wuxia worldsite. Thanks ¡®Anything I can listen to.¡¯ Abel recited his oldest wish without any hesitation. Please let go of Monica Elwood. But the answer that came back, horribly unsympathetic. ¡®I don¡¯t know how to let go of something I don¡¯t even have.¡¯ In the end, Abel fervently recited a wish that he had never wished to say with his own mouth, that he had never even imagined, but had to make now, an opportunity that would never come again. ¡®I know what the master is planning¡­¡­. Please, at the last moment when it¡¯s all over¡­¡­.¡¯ ¡®¡­¡­.¡¯ ¡®Please don¡¯t hurt Monica.¡¯ Alan Leopold, who seemed more neat and rational than anyone else, was actually a beast with animalistic senses all over his body. The strange thing is that he has been like this since a very young age. Even though there¡¯s not a drop of Ian Leopold¡¯s blood mixed in. Abel was not widely known, but a writer who was well-received by the literary circles of the Principality, and with his natural observation skills, he had a fairly accurate picture of what kind of person Alan was and he already knew all about the ugly heart he was hiding. The problem was with the woman Alan had hidden. The unhappy, eager eyes were obviously the same as Abel¡¯s, but she refused to write the novel. Abel was determined to dedicate the completed {Paradise on the Moon} in front of Alan by all possible means, but he was nervous and afraid that it would take too long because of her stubbornness. Alan had a deep-rooted hatred of his family and Able was scared to know that truth. What if this fiery emotion engulfs him completely before he can take over the Leopolds? What if it burns everything like a fire spreading through a dry field? Monica Elwood is the only biological child of Leopold¡¯s Head. What if the anger of the fake heir destroys Abel¡¯s world (Monica), his everything? ¡°¡­¡­now,¡± In the meantime, something surprising happened. ¡°What did you say?¡± ¡°I¡¯ll write the novel, Mr. Maurice.¡± Abel couldn¡¯t hide his bewildered expression, even though it was the words he had been eagerly waiting for. Why? Did she suddenly feel compassion for him because he was crying because of his wretchedness? However, the unknown woman, who sat slightly in front of me, had hard eyes like never before. ¡°Did¡­.. you have a change of heart?¡± Abel hurriedly wiped away the tears that never stopped with his hands and sleeves, and continued, ¡°It is also for me to complete the novel if you remember. Did you suddenly want to help me?¡± ¡°I¡¯d be happy to help Mr. Maurice, too.¡± The woman answered in a sweet voice. ¡°But don¡¯t worry. That¡¯s not the only reason.¡± A fragrant summer breeze blew from the open window, gently waving her warm brown-coloured curls. No matter how many bars were used, the seasons like a blessing moved freely in the room like a flexible wave. ¡°I¡¯m going to write the novel for myself, to find myself.¡± ¡°That means¡­¡± So, are you saying that you will dare to cast off that harsh love, a yoke-like[1] feeling that only tightens up the more you struggle? On the first day he faced this woman, Abel clearly saw himself in the past in her soft brown eyes. His eyes on that day when he was willing to kneel down without resistance or doubt for love like a tidal wave must have had the same light. The depth of her emotion was as deep as his for Monica. ¡®I can¡¯t.¡¯ Furthermore, rather than hiding the desire and longing for love that is so high and noble that it cannot be reached, aren¡¯t they being exposed? Abel thought it was ridiculously insignificant arrogance. But the woman in front of her again spoke with determination. ¡°Because this life is so precious to me to be crushed by self-destructive love.¡± Even though it was a small, fragile voice like a song. ¡°I have to move on. And I hope you can.¡± Read latest Chapters at Wuxia World . Site Only ¡°However, didn¡¯t you say it was painful to carry on with his novel? You have to remove him¡­¡­.¡± ¡°It¡¯s to remove him.¡± The woman still had a gentle face. She seemed to be trying to pretend to be strong, or maybe he was just constantly putting his own hints on it. ¡°To get rid of Alan Leopold, I decided to end this novel.¡± But the two eyes were clearly shining with vivid colors. Chapter 76 ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? From that day on, Mr. Maurice and I became partners of sorts. Of course I still don¡¯t consider him a teacher. He doesn¡¯t seem to have the heart[1] to coach me either. But on the day he came to visit me, Mr. Maurice stayed by my side, saying he would be prepared in case I needed him. I was puzzled at Mr. Maurice¡¯s words that there would always be situations that needed him, but I soon understood what he meant. When there comes a moment when writing is impossible¡ªit is said to be an inseparable thing for writers¡ªthey share a light conversation with each other and sometimes give unexpected clues. He was willing to take on the role. ¡°¡­¡­Mr. Maurice.¡± ¡°Is the pen not moving again?¡± Mr. Maurice readily lifted his eyes from the book he was reading. ¡°Yes¡­¡­ I just wrote one page and it stopped again.¡± ¡°But one page is enough¡ª¡± ¡°That one page was actually a description of the landscape. Now I really have to write about Troy, but I can¡¯t¡­¡­.¡± There was a time when Alan Leopold felt like an ardent religion. For nearly a decade, I admired him and loved him deeply, and the emotion was so mournful that I could devote my soul to him. Even though it was just a crush. I was too young, and all I knew about him was superficial. Nevertheless, I was blindly drowned in that sea. I can¡¯t remember whether I jumped on Alan Leopold or if he hit me like a wave. It was just as natural as if it had been decided that everything would be like this. ¡°You¡¯re afraid you can¡¯t remove him.¡± ¡°Yes, I¡¯m afraid¡­¡­.¡± Now that he has become a stain in my life, how can I not be afraid? The anger and reproach against Alan was natural, but I felt a terrible sadness first. All the moments and feelings that I devoted my soul to him and missed him, all those long times, have lost meaning. My beautiful Alan Leopold, mercilessly forsaken me. So my hatred for Alan is purely due to that. I have become the victim of a devastating loss of a large part of my life. Is that all? I have never thought of dividing myself with my imaginary Alan Leopold. Since I got to know him, I haven¡¯t been myself for a moment. There was always a place for him in the corner of my heart, and Alan Leopold, who was firmly entrenched in it, was the master of all my time and consciousness. He was only a vague fantasy. But now I¡¯m standing alone. There would never be a more ruthless and cruel treatment than this. ¡°What if I fall in love with him again without realizing it?¡± At the crossroads of summer in a lovely afternoon, my lips quivered as if I was instead in the winter. ¡°If I slowly forget about his evil deeds¡­¡­ What if I live like a ghost, chasing that empty shell of love?¡± ¡°¡­¡­It could be.¡± ¡°I¡¯m confused, Mr. Maurice. I don¡¯t have the confidence to get over him¡­¡­.¡± Mr. Maurice closed the book he was reading and quietly raised his glasses. ¡°But as you said the other day, if you don¡¯t completely finish the work, this mess won¡¯t end. This is a clear fact.¡± ¡°¡­¡­I don¡¯t know what to do. I¡¯ve decided to complete the novel, but I¡¯m so scared just to face it. Will I be able to finish this¡­¡­.¡± Mr. Maurice¡¯s dark green eyes stared silently at me who was drenched in the sudden flood of emotions. How fortunate it was that he sees me pathetically. ¡°Miss, I think I can give you two pieces of advice for now.¡± ¡°Good. What is it?¡± ¡°I know it¡¯s hard for you, but think separately from your muse and your novel, Troy, like they have nothing to do with each other.¡± His words made me sigh without realizing it. ¡°¡­¡­That sounds too difficult. At least I can¡¯t think like that right away. No.¡± ¡°Well, as expected.¡± ¡°What¡¯s the second piece of advice?¡± Then Mr. Maurice picked up the book he was reading. A maroon leather cover, with a picture of the moon and stars painted in pale gold. The title engraved in the same color gleamed softly with the sunlight streaming in from the window. {The Night that Covers the Waiting and Sleeps} ¡°Have you read all of this novel?¡± ¡°Oh, that book¡­¡­.¡± I was lost in thought for a moment. Did I complete reading that novel? It didn¡¯t take long to conclude that I didn¡¯t. No matter how much I looked back on my memories, I couldn¡¯t remember the end of the story. ¡°I¡¯ve definitely read halfway through, but I haven¡¯t read the ending yet.¡± ¡°Then why don¡¯t you read this book?¡± Come and read on our website wuxia worldsite. Thanks ¡°¡­¡­.¡± I unconsciously frowned. The reason why I didn¡¯t read this novel to the end even though it was the most recent book I bought¡­¡­. ¡°I got a letter from the Academy while I was reading it. So I didn¡¯t have the mind to read it.¡± ¡°You had plenty of time after that, didn¡¯t you? Moreover, you said it was one of the two books you brought to Lunoa.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± So¡­ the real reason why I didn¡¯t read this book to the end is that the main character, who hated the other person so much, eagerly waited for him from the middle of the book. Whenever I think of the rough plot, I remember the uncontrollable tears I had shed when reading only the middle part. The reason I enjoy reading is that it allows me to forget reality and immerse myself in a completely new world for a while, but unfortunately, this novel was reality itself to me. Besides, I didn¡¯t even dare to read the back story because I didn¡¯t see the slightest chance that the story would end happily. In the end, this book only reminds me of my ugly self, who keeps missing Alan Leopold even though I decided to hate him, and makes me more clearly portray the cruel reality that I cannot resist. In the first place, I wasn¡¯t strong enough to read that novel with a light heart that made me think about how helpless I was in front of him. It¡¯s no use denying it now. The reason I took this book carelessly is because it was actually a book that Alan Leopold picked up, and the influence he exerts on me is still so strong. ¡°Miss.¡± ¡°¡­¡­It was because I had a hard time. It¡¯s so realistic for me that I just wanted to avoid it. I only read about half of it, but I couldn¡¯t help but cry.¡± Mr. Maurice¡¯s calm green eyes seemed to urge me to tell the truth, and I was pleading desperately, like a person on the verge of something dreadful. ¡°Perhaps the reason behind recommending this book¡­¡­¡­is because the story is similar to mine, right?¡± ¡°That¡¯s why I thought it would help you to write.¡± ¡°I¡­¡­ I don¡¯t want to read it either. I¡¯m sorry to give you such an answer after you¡¯ve been thinking about it seriously. I will try another way¡­.¡± I gripped the pen again with trembling hands, but I lowered my head in the overwhelming feeling of a rushing tide. Then Mr. Maurice¡¯s loud voice pierced my ears. ¡°It¡¯s not a bad ending.¡± ¡°¡­¡­What?¡± ¡°I¡¯m reading it a second time, but it¡¯s not as terrifying an ending as you think.¡± So please read it. When I looked up, his eyes seemed to be saying so. * * * ¡°Were you crying?¡± Embarrassingly, that was the first word spoken by Alan Leopold, who met me again. Why is he calling me out at a time like this? Today he came back in time for dinner, so we shared a meal for the first time. Of course, I was trying to stop crying without even grabbing the tableware. ¡°Why are you crying? Didn¡¯t you like the maid? Or¡­.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Is it the tutor again?¡± Alan, who looked drowsy as if he had had a tiring day, suddenly had eyes like a cold wind. His low voice was calm but eerie, much like the eve of a storm. I hurriedly answered to clear his misunderstanding. ¡°Novel¡­¡­¡± I vividly recall speaking to him, calling each other by our names as we conversed.The reason why I made a fool of myself was because I was drunk¡­¡­. ¡°¡­¡­I cried while reading.¡± However, I was not confident in pretending that I didn¡¯t remember, so I answered in the same tone as that day after thinking. He also uses an informal tone as if he were dealing with someone close to him. Alan laughed like the wind. ¡°Really? What novel?¡± ¡°Without waiting¡­¡­.¡± I couldn¡¯t bear to say anything and burst into tears again. ¡°¡­¡­Oh, how does it end?¡± It¡¯s certainly one of his collections, but Alan asked as if he had never read the novel. Maybe he¡¯s just talking to me to stop my tears. It must be a difficult task, having to sit face-to-face with someone who randomly cries as she eats her meal. However, it was not possible to say the ending of the novel directly to him. Read latest Chapters at Wuxia World . Site Only A happy ending in which the main character, who hated and despised her partner as much as she could, but realized that it was love, finally achieves that love and finds true happiness. To read such a beautiful story and cry sadly would only be seen as comparing myself to the main character and lamenting my pitiful situation. Even if he sympathizes with me, Alan, who won¡¯t let me even write a letter to the kingdom, won¡¯t let me go because of this. Thinking about it that way, sad tears came out again and I buried my head. My weak sensibility is sometimes rude because the other party can¡¯t even eat in peace as I¡¯m so annoying. ¡°Hik..¡­.uh¡­hik¡± Just then, the sound of Alan laying down the dishes harshly was heard. Chapter 77 ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? Sad tears burst out again and I buried my head. ¡°Hik¡­¡­uhhh¡­..¡± At that moment, I heard Alan putting down the tableware roughly. My shoulders flinched in response. He¡¯s angry. Of course he would be. He must have come back from a hard day. I don¡¯t think he¡¯ll like to see a woman who cries so loudly during the precious mealtime. But when I raised my head, I saw Alan, who was looking at me with a serious face covering his mouth. I thought he was so angry that he put the tableware down hard¡­¡­ Did he drop it? I forgot to sniffle and looked him in the eye, and he whispered. ¡°You made an excuse, didn¡¯t you?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Is it because of me?¡± I tried to answer that it was true that I was crying for a book, but then I shut up again. Because ultimately it¡¯s Alan Leopold. After all, it¡¯s true that all this sadness is because of him. Then Alan continued, ¡°I¡¯m not good at comforting.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± I had no particular expectation that he would comfort me. So I can¡¯t help but stare at Alan silently. His dark hair, blue-gray eyes as if melting a distant winter night, and picturesque lips. Even if I close my eyes, his face never leaves my head as if an afterimage had been engraved on my eyelids. Then Alan whispered quietly. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, but no matter how much you cry, I have no intention of letting you go, Melissa.¡± His whisper was as faint as mist, but it sounded clearer than anything else. Is it because it¡¯s so quiet that I can even hear the candle burning? Even Alan¡¯s breath seemed to be heard. I opened my mouth with a deep voice. ¡°I¡­ for you¡­¡­ Because you have to complete the novel?¡± ¡°Yes.¡± When I managed to ask, he answered without a moment¡¯s hesitation and smiled. The smile was so noble and wicked that it was impossible to tell whether he was the devil in the face of an angel or vice versa. I hate Alan so much that I want to inflict hellish pain on him but at the same time I wanted to confess my love right away like lava. Feeling the sudden heat in my cheeks, I hurriedly lowered my gaze. But his next words made my head rise again. ¡°I¡¯ll do you a favour.¡± ¡°¡­do me a favour?¡± ¡°Yes, because I don¡¯t want you to cry.¡± Alan had an absolutely pleasing voice. It¡¯s so nice that I want to just listen without answering. I have no choice but to cry when he whispers sweet words in a low voice. But if I ask him to let me send a letter to my family or let me out of here, or let me hate him, he¡¯ll laugh. As if he is teasing me, or as if he is seducing me¡­¡­. Despite it feeling a bit absurd, even for myself, I asked him for a favour. ¡°¡­¡­I wish we could have dinner together every day.¡± He was silent for a moment. I was afraid to see what kind of expression he was making, so I stared at the transparent water droplets on the surface of the glass. It would be absurd. I felt the same way. I was envious of the lovers in the novel, and the separation between them and me was so sad that I cried like a child, but I can¡¯t believe I¡¯m asking Alan Leopold to do this. I couldn¡¯t believe it myself. Did I want to whine? Then, I heard a sweet, low tone. ¡°That sounds difficult.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± I thought the answer would come back, but his tone was more serious than I thought, so I opened my eyes wide. Is he kidding? He¡¯s making fun of me, right? I was going to think so, but Alan continued, ¡°It¡¯s hard to come back every day right now, and it¡¯s hard to come on time. But I¡¯ll try.¡± ¡°Try¡­¡± He won¡¯t know how much comfort those trivial and common words brought to me. ¡°Anything else?¡± ¡°The other thing is¡­¡± I was repeating his words like a fool. When I stared at him, he was still looking at me. A faint golden glow rose over the candlestick between us. Thinking that this moment was somehow magical, I suddenly realized that my tears had stopped. Alan may actually have a knack for soothing people who cry. Come and read on our website wuxia worldsite. Thanks ¡°Buy me some flowers.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Every time you come home.¡± Then he smiled instead of answering, with a very gentle and graceful smile. The meaning of the smile was unknown, but the appearance of the thin candlelight coloring a cold winter-like face with a gentle color was sublime enough to hold my breath. No religious artwork in the world would be as sacred as this. I whispered with the last remaining reason. ¡°Don¡¯t buy roses¡­¡­.¡± * * * Alan, though busy working at home, always allowed me to borrow his short and distant time. But after meeting with him, it has definitely been easier to write Troy. It is just amazing that the nib, which never moved forward, draws a vivid picture of Troy as if it is alive. ¡°¡­¡­¡­ That¡¯s because I can write it while thinking of Alan.¡± I smiled quietly in a sense of embarrassment. Even as a writer, there is no change in the fact that he is a character that even I cannot understand, but that¡¯s the point of Troy in the first place, so it doesn¡¯t matter. Like the moon that shines even though it hides behind the dark side. The only important thing is to finish this novel as soon as possible. The only thing that can be exchanged for my freedom is the completed {Paradise on the Moon}. Of course it won¡¯t be easy, but I will try my best to come up with a satisfactory ending. Write it as if this is the last work of my life. It was when I held the pen again with that thought. ¡°Miss.¡± I hurriedly looked towards the door at the sudden unfamiliar voice and saw a tall maid standing there. I suddenly thought that it had been a long time since I had called a maid. After Sandra came as a maid, I never talked to the maids. The servants here are all expressionless. So it was disturbing that the maid¡¯s face was strangely frightened. Sandra went to find a vase for my room. Why is she so late¡­. ¡°Someone is looking for you, milady.¡± ¡°What? Alan is here?¡± I¡¯m sure we ate together yesterday, but he came back again today? ¡®I¡¯ll try.¡¯ Only then did I recall his answer. I can count on one hand the number of his visits because the days he comes home is very rare; even the hours of his sleep are fewer because he is busy with his work. I can¡¯t believe he made such an immediate effort at every word I said. Somehow, I felt as if there was a wave in my heart. ¡°It¡¯s not the young master.¡± Until I heard the maid¡¯s answer. ¡°Then who¡­.¡± ¡°I shouldn¡¯t let them wait, so please follow me.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± It was a very solemn voice. Without asking any more questions, I got up, tidying up my lightweight dress. I walked cautiously up the hallway, staring blankly at the fluttering lace hem under the maid¡¯s black, voluminous skirt. My mind was full of belated questions. Who on earth can call me out here except the owner of the mansion? A person of such dignity as to make the maid so rigid¡­¡­. Did Ian Leopold find out that Alan had hidden a woman here? I¡¯m sure he¡¯d want to know the truth first. All the employees here are his people, so it is fully explained that the maid looked scared. Ian Leopold is a prominent businessman and one of the economic and social leaders of the kingdom. He could certainly give his young, twisted son a hard scolding for locking up an innocent woman. However, I was very puzzled by the intention of her maid, who did not reveal that this unexpected guest was Mr. Leopold. Why did she look so cautious when he is her master¡­. At that moment, I stopped thinking that it might be Prince Bentley who was looking for me. ¡°There is no time to delay. Come quickly.¡± ¡°Oh¡­¡­yes.¡± The prince said he was a close friend of Alan Leopold but Alan had firmly denied it, and I can¡¯t believe Alan and that eerie prince are best friends. But even if that¡¯s a lie, he¡¯s a member of Sourne¡¯s royal family. It would be easy for him to come to the people¡¯s house and call someone out. Besides, the prince knows me. It would have been very easy for him, who already knows my name and my house, to find out that I¡¯m here. I sighed automatically when I thought that far. ¡°Haa¡­.¡± Read latest Chapters at Wuxia World . Site Only In the grand hallway leading to the main building, there were endless windows, but the clear sunlight could not be seen at all because of the heavy rain that started pouring in from morning. The sky beyond the window, which is gray, incites melancholy. As I smelled the damp moisture and rain floating in the air, I stepped forward helplessly. Eventually, the maid and I arrived at the heavy dark-red door. It wasn¡¯t the dining hall I met with Alan recently, nor was it his office. Then the maid knocked nervously on the door. ¡°I brought her, milady.¡± Chapter 78 ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? TW: Assault ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? The maid knocked on the door with a nervous look. ¡°I brought her here, lady.¡± Neither Mr. Leopold nor Prince Bentley¡­¡­ A lady? ¡°Wait, hold on a second. What do you mean, a lady?¡± When the maid didn¡¯t answer anything, my question was scattered like air. Then the door in front of me opened wide, and in an instant, the maid who pushed me into the room closed the door behind my back. What was waiting for me in the room was a rose¡­¡­ No, she was a seductive beauty that resembled a rose. ¡°Oh, that¡­¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± She sat upright at the beautiful tea table staring at me. The beautiful hair was flowing like a wave, and the black dress, with silver jewels dangling all over her flawlessly wrapped around her perfect slender body. ¡°Melissa Collins?¡± When her deep blue eyes penetrated my eyes as if pierced with sapphires, I had to face one fact that I wanted to turn away. That the woman who was once choosing a cake at the Antris coffee shop, who was always believed to be Alan¡¯s lover, is now in front of me. My memory cannot be wrong. I¡¯ve never met such a gorgeous and beautiful woman again. Even if I did my best, it was unreasonable to pretend that I haven¡¯t seen her before. I remember the rumours, eyewitness accounts of Alan Leopold¡¯s lover. A woman with impressionistic attire, I remember rumours circulating about a woman¡¯s impressionistic attire when eyewitness accounts of seeing Alan Leopold with his lover warmed up Florin. A mysterious beauty with a splendid appearance in the coveted position[1]. In fact, it wasn¡¯t painful when I remembered the rumours and vaguely imagined what a beautiful person she would be. Alan¡¯s hidden lover was a story that was supposed to be a rumour in the first place, and it¡¯s absurd that no one in the social world knows such a great beauty. Of course, it would have been a rumour made up by a braggart. But when I saw this woman in Antris¡­¡­ I had to admit that the rumour was true. At the same time, as Alan Leopold¡¯s lover, I realised so clearly what it was like to stand next to him that I felt despair as if my feet were falling apart. Of course, the only thing that could have his heart was this kind of beauty, but I was frustrated again. After seeing this woman, it was painful to see her and Alan together. As if I really believed I could be his lover. Like a fool¡­ ¡°Can¡¯t you speak?¡± As a sharp voice flew in, I didn¡¯t know what to answer, so I just fiddled with my fingers. I was afraid as if I had sinned. A thin sweat was already dripping from her palms. It wasn¡¯t just that she was beautiful enough to make me forget words and that I was confronted with my own shabbiness enough to want to deny it. That this woman knows my name, that she¡¯s drinking tea naturally in the main house, and that the maids are treating her like a master¡­¡­. Does the fact that she is Alan¡¯s lover need any further explanation? I mean, I¡¯m a foreign object to this woman. It may be natural to have to deal with such a fierce look. This place is¡­¡­. ¡°Oh, it¡¯s worse than I thought. I can¡¯t believe he was hiding this.¡± ¡­¡­But even so, I did not have the heart to quietly endure her rudely spoken words about me. I am not her servant, and I am not here by my own will. I didn¡¯t want to be treated like this by someone I didn¡¯t even know. ¡°¡­¡­What does that mean?¡± But my anger stopped me from muttering the words without looking straight into her face. The woman¡¯s rage filled the room as glamorous as she is, and my body trembled at her wrath. ¡°What do you mean? I can¡¯t stand it because you¡¯re bothering me.¡± The woman¡¯s red and beautiful lips curved in a beautiful line. But the words flowing through from her lips scratched me relentlessly. ¡°No matter how much he plays with you, why is baby like this¡­¡­ ha.¡± ¡°I am Alan¡¯s¡­¡­!¡± The moment I brought up his name, the atmosphere changed. ¡°Alan?¡± As the woman who had put the teacup down as if tossing it, stood up, her rich hair and the hem of her fine dress swayed gracefully. Weakened by her ecstatic figure, I bit my lip, but couldn¡¯t take my eyes off her. The woman narrowed the distance with light steps, sneered as if laughing at me. ¡°Now, whose name do you think you were calling so carelessly?¡± ¡°¡­¡­W-will you keep your manners? I don¡¯t even know who you are.¡± Then the woman fixed her eyes on me and chuckled as if it was ridiculous. The moment I thought her relaxed and arrogant expression resembled Alan¡¯s, my heart ached helplessly. ¡°I¡¯ll tell you, so make sure to engrave it. I¡¯m Monica Elwood and I¡¯m Alan Leopold¡¯s lover. A body that is meant to be his spouse. Do you understand?¡± ¡°¡­¡­Elwood?¡± I immediately regretted it as soon as I reflected on the oddly familiar word. One day, the wax on the envelope I received from Alan, who was stalking me, was stamped with a seal written ¡°Elwood.¡± No matter how much he had to hide his real name but using the name Elwood. The fact that two people can use each other¡¯s things casually is¡­¡­¡­. Suddenly, it was bitter in my mouth. Did I have such a good memory? Or is it because it¡¯s such a strong memory that I haven¡¯t been able to shake it off? One side of my heart was numb and I put my trembling hand on it. It¡¯s funny that my heart is so flustered at the fact that this woman is Alan Leopold¡¯s lover. ¡°I know¡­¡­Alan¡­¡­doesn¡¯t have ¡­..a lover.¡± It was ridiculous to finally argue with her. But I¡¯m sure Sandra said that Alan doesn¡¯t have a lover. ¡°Ha, what are you saying?¡± Monica Elwood, the cold lady, strode up to me and clasped my chin unexpectedly. Her sharp nails dug into my soft skin. Tears welled up due to the fierce hostility and pain. ¡°Alan, he¡­¡­ he slept with you?¡± Come and read on our website wuxia worldsite. Thanks ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Surprisingly, she smelled like Alan Leopold¡¯s perfume. The seductive scent of the rose garden permeated my lungs more densely than in the moist air. ¡°Answer me, temptress.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± I thought my eyes were burning, and before I knew it, tears began to drop. ¡°How did something like you seduce him? What? You look so dirty and¡­¡­.¡± The fingertips of that woman as soft as a satin tapped my cheek and swept my neck and neck unpleasantly. ¡°¡­¡­¡­Don¡¯t touch me!¡± I shook her hand and let out a suppressed scream, but this petty defiance seemed to have provoked Monica Elwood¡¯s anger. She tore up the neckline of my thin dress as if she were going to find Alan¡¯s trace ¡°Argh! Let go of me¡­¡­!¡± I resisted, covering my chest with my arms to prevent a rude touch that pulled down my clothes. However, not only my arms but also my entire body were already trembling with fear and shame. Tears burst out like an uncontrollable flood in an unimaginable situation. ¡°If you don¡¯t want to see something worse, stay still.¡± ¡°Ah¡­!¡± Her sharp fingertips scratched my arm roughly and my body shrank at the burning sensation. At that moment, she raised her hand as if she were going to slap me on the cheek, and I just lost strength in my legs and sank. ¡°¡­¡­Why are you doing this to me¡­.¡± I couldn¡¯t stop her hand from pulling down my clothes and digging inside, so I could only accept the humiliation and sob. When that lovely hand finally fell off me, I was torn like a rag and sat down in my underwear on a pile of cloth that no longer looked like a dress. I stared at her while trembling with shame and contempt. ¡°Nothing happened¡­¡­!¡± ¡°Yes, it seems so. You should¡¯ve answered me earlier, right? ¡°Uhh¡­¡­hmph¡­¡­.¡± I wanted to let that rude and horrible woman with a beautiful face go through the same thing. However, there was no strength in my arms, which were trembling, while barely covering my chest. ¡°It¡¯s a sight to behold.¡± She sprang to her feet, and the hem of her rich dress fluttered and a small wind blew. Then the scent of Alan Leopold flooded in again. ¡°Ha¡­.¡± Tears streamed down my cheeks and flowed to my chin. ¡°This is a warning, Miss Collins.¡± ¡°You¡­. really do things like this¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Am I really Alan Leopold¡¯s lover?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°How much more pitiful are you going to be by doing something like that?¡± When I looked up, I saw a demon-like woman with a horrifyingly perfect and beautiful shell staring down at me. She whispers cursed words, with a perfect Sorne accent, which makes it unbelievable that she¡¯s a Lunoan. ¡°Stop the disgusting delusion. Baby treasures the wig that is exactly the same as my hair, and loves me enough to buy my favourite coffee shop. Like crazy.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°He hates being noisy, so he¡¯s just hiding it.¡± I felt a sharp pain in my heart. It was because of this woman that he suddenly bought Antris and surprised people. I¡¯ve seen that wig too. It was really flaming red, like Monica Elwood¡¯s hair¡­¡­. ¡°Do you realise where you are now?¡± You are nothing special. Turning with a small murmur, she moved away with the clacking sound of her heels. Her steps seemed to stab my heart. The woman picked up her fancy hat on the couch and lightly put it on her head. She was so noble and beautiful that it made me bow my head. On the other hand, I was wearing a piece of torn cloth, and my vision was blurry. Tears sprang up again. Temptress. The single word she said was pierced like a dagger into my miserable mistake and did not fall out. Why did I have to go through such humiliation and hear such a thing? Why¡­ ¡°As you can see, there is a lot of stress after coming to the Principality. I mean, Alan.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°You¡¯re just a side effect.¡± I closed my eyes and my ears because I didn¡¯t want to listen to Monica. However, my hand, which had lost all its strength, could not block the voice that penetrated my ear. ¡°I¡¯ll tie him well, so get your stuff and get out of here now.¡± Monica approached me, spitting an incredibly awful word. ¡°Suit yourself¡­¡­Ugh.¡± As I closed my eyes and my shoulders flinched reflexively, she passed by me and headed for the doorway. Then I heard her gentle voice with the sound of the doorknob spinning. Read latest Chapters at Wuxia World . Site Only ¡°I¡¯m sure you¡¯ll understand, Collins.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± The sound of the door closing with a bang was like a signal. I fell down and had to cry for a long time. *** [1] the coveted position is Alan¡¯s love Chapter 79 ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? I cried so much yesterday that my eyes turned red as if they were bitten. Stiffness every time I blink is quite annoying. I hope it will calm down a bit tomorrow ¡°Ugh¡­ I¡¯m so sorry, lady¡­¡­.¡± ¡°¡­¡­I¡¯m fine.¡± It wouldn¡¯t be very convincing to say that it¡¯s fine with these eyes, but I didn¡¯t want to recall what happened yesterday. No wonder I didn¡¯t even write my diary last night. I don¡¯t want to leave a sentence or a word about this in it. With that in mind, I was trying to soothe Sandra, who has already been apologizing to me with a tearful face for two days, while I tried to have the most nonchalant face I can put on. I couldn¡¯t believe it was yesterday that I cried so much that I fell down like I collapsed in the parlour in the main house. ¡°But¡­ I couldn¡¯t go right away, so you¡­¡­.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Yes, that¡¯s right. The real tragedy was that none of the countless servants in this magnificent mansion came to pick me up. Because the piece of cloth on the body was no longer able to act as a dress, I was forced to be left in that terrible place for hours without being able to go outside. The sound of rain hitting the window harshly, the chilly reverberation wafting through the air, my shabby and wretched self that couldn¡¯t even properly rebut the rudeness of Alan¡¯s lover who committed indescribable rudeness¡­¡­ There was nothing that wasn¡¯t sad. So it wasn¡¯t that I wasn¡¯t resentful towards Sandra. I was humiliated by Monica Elwood, and during those hours of raging sobbing, she didn¡¯t stay by my side for a second. That is clearly against the role of a maid. All I wanted from her was not for her to stand up against Monica, but to lend me her shoulder to lean on. But Sandra, who came to me at night, was crying bitterly when she hurriedly covered me with blankets and led me to my room in the annex. Her plump carrot-colored eyebrows looked pathetic like a frightened animal. So how can I reprimand her? I patted her on the back helplessly. I was so exhausted and tired yesterday that I fell asleep as soon as I finished taking a bath. And from the time I opened my eyes until now, Sandra was crying. ¡°Please¡­¡­. Please forgive me¡­¡­.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± I can¡¯t fire her because I¡¯m not her master. Even though she wouldn¡¯t know it, asking for forgiveness so desperately would at least mean that she was working as a maid with sincere responsibility. And an oddly frightened look¡­¡­. I am by no means the object she should fear. So the anxiety in Sandra¡¯s eyes must be towards Monica, not me. Since she has such a talkative personality, if I talked about Monica Elwood, she would have been able to say anything. She may have done a lot to the maids who served Alan if she had such a violent temper. Maybe Sandra had a rough time with Alan when she was his maid or witnessed that? If so, it means Monica and Alan have a long relationship, but it could be something like a betrothal relationship from childhood. As much as a family is a family. Anyway, it was clear that I wouldn¡¯t have suffered so much humiliation if Sandra hadn¡¯t told me that Alan didn¡¯t have a lover. I moved my lips in a deep voice. ¡°¡­¡­ Sandra, it¡¯s all in the past. It¡¯s all right. Stop crying.¡± ¡°But, miss¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Let me ask you one thing instead. Didn¡¯t you say Alan didn¡¯t have a lover?¡± ¡°Oh¡­¡­.¡± Sandra, who hesitated with beads of tears, answered in a trembling voice. ¡°Oh, the person who came to see you yesterday¡­¡­ She¡¯s not his lover. I don¡¯t know what¡¯s going to happen later, but now¡­¡­.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± What does this mean? So she threatened me by pretending to be a fake lover? Or did she really promise to marry Alan Leopold? If that¡¯s what she really is, she¡¯s technically not a lover, but she¡¯s in a position to be suspicious and angry with me and Alan..¡­ Anyway, it was too much. My chin and wrist are still scarred with red marks. Even now, I tremble with anger and fear when I think of the moment when she was rushing to rip my clothes. Even though it was a problem that could be confirmed by conversation, she was busy trampling on me, far from listening to me. She¡¯s like a raging person. ¡°Lady¡­¡± Maybe my expression was too serious, Sandra, who was slowly looking around, called me in a small voice. I was just staring blankly at the heavy drops of tears dripping down her wet eyes. ¡°I really like you¡­¡­. It¡¯s painful that I¡¯m weak and can¡¯t help you.¡­.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I just want to tell you everything¡­¡­.¡± ¡°¡­¡­What do you mean?¡± When I asked again to the tearful maid, Sandra answered, wiping her tears with her sleeve. ¡°Poor lady. Please give me time to prepare myself. At that time¡­ I¡¯ll tell you every story I know.¡± * * * Come and read on our website wuxia worldsite. Thanks After hearing Sandra¡¯s tearful pledge, I consciously tried to erase the memory of Monica Elwood. As I grabbed the pen again and started writing the novel character by character, I felt as if I had returned to my original daily life. I filled up the diary a little by little. Such as, ¡°Today¡¯s diary is somewhat gloomy¡­¡­.¡± Obviously, it was a diary that I started writing lightly with the goal of a refreshing end to the day. I purposely wrote it prettier than usual, but my heart became heavy. It¡¯s been quite a while since I came here. It is frightening to be dull. The fact that I have already adapted to life in this detached mansion that has no sense of reality as if my heart has been paralyzed is already this much. I stand still, but only the silent seasons pass me by with an expressionless face. I feel like I¡¯m trying to pretend I don¡¯t know the clouds are moving behind my back and the color of the sky is changing. This summer will pass like this. When the hell can I get out of here? Now, the strong resistance I felt when I first came and the desperation to get out of here as soon as possible seem to have become foggy. Perhaps the strangest thing is myself, not Alan Leopold or Monica Ellwood. Suddenly everything feels fleeting. ¡°¡­¡­I¡¯m going to bed now.¡± Raising myself from the reading table and covering my diary, I proceeded to lay down in bed. Sandra, who has gone out with an empty teapot and a teacup, will be back soon, and will ask in a soft voice, ¡°Shall we prepare a bath, miss?¡± Then I will say, ¡°No, I¡¯m just going to sleep today,¡± and postpone my bath until tomorrow morning. I just want to sleep like this today. It wouldn¡¯t be wrong to say it was an escape. ¡°Miss!¡± However, Sandra¡¯s voice, which came as the door burst open, was somewhat agitated. ¡°Sandra, today I¡¯m just¡­¡­.¡± ¡°The young master is here.¡± ¡°Ah.¡± It was exactly three nights after the disastrous uproar. Alan Leopold is back. * * * Alan entered the smallest and most cozy dining hall in the main building. As he approached the table with straight steps and sat down, William, the butler who followed, spoke with a cautious face. ¡°Shall we prepare a meal?¡± ¡°What about the detached house?¡± ¡°The dinner is already over there.¡± Alan, who seemed a little nervous but showed signs of exhaustion, answered by loosening his cravat. ¡°Then that¡¯s fine. Don¡¯t prepare.¡± ¡°Then at least the tea¡­¡­.¡± Alan didn¡¯t even look at the butler, let alone answer. He just put down a bunch of bright yellow freesias that were in his arms and changed his posture and sat down. ¡°Or should I prepare alcohol?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± William could easily guess that he had had a hectic day, given the momentum of his young master, who had been busy. He must have worked even harder to get back to the mansion, so it was only natural for him to look so tired. But with Alan¡¯s sharp and overbearing appearance¡ª him getting out of the carriage with a bunch of beautiful flowers in his arms¡­¡­ It was a surprisingly unfamiliar sight to the butler who had been by his side since his childhood. The first thing he thought about was whether the master prepared it personally for the Sourne woman staying in the detached house here, but it was also a ridiculous story. They are not in a relationship to give each other flowers, but it was impossible to imagine a scene where his master, who only knew about work in the first place, picked flowers to win the favor of a woman. ¡®Buying flowers to decorate the house is a job for the servants. What kind of change of heart¡­¡­. Did you encounter a poor flower seller on the street?¡¯ As soon as the butler sighed quietly with a face of incomprehension, a woman¡¯s voice came from outside the door. ¡°Master, I brought her here.¡± Then Alan signalled towards the door. It was shortly thereafter that two servants standing by the door hurriedly opened the door. In front of the wide open door, a maid bowed her head deeply. Behind her, Melissa Collins, who had a puzzled face, was staring blankly at him. Somehow Alan narrowed his brows at her sickly complexion and squinting his eyes. Then a red scar under her chin caught his eye. Read latest Chapters at Wuxia World . Site Only ¡°¡­¡­ I¡¯d like tea, William.¡± ¡°I see. I¡¯ll be right back.¡± All the servants retreated along with William heading to the door, and when the door was closed, a heavy silence came. Alan said in a suppressed, low voice. ¡°Come here.¡± Chapter 80 ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? T/N: the pov changes to 3pov and in the middle it again changes to Alan¡¯s pov, the author wrote it in switching to both sides ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? Alan didn¡¯t take his eyes off Melissa¡¯s face as she moved closer to the table, step by step. He didn¡¯t even blink. Melissa¡¯s grim gaze was towards the floor, but as she drew closer, the scarlet scar under her slim chin was clearly visible. Alan felt his insides twisting. And the moment Melissa sat across from him instead of next to him, he heard the sound of his reason collapsing. He had already spent a warlike day among the ugly humans. ¡°Come to the side.¡± Melissa didn¡¯t answer or raise her body, she just bowed her head. Her soft brown hair hung like a wave and her slender curved shoulders trembled slightly. ¡°Did you bite your tongue?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± He didn¡¯t mean to make her cry, but suddenly Melissa burst into tears. Alan was stunned as if he had been hit hard in the head. Somehow it was a sense of discomfort. Alan let out a low, long sigh. ¡°¡­¡­why.¡± Instead of answering, Melissa wiped her tears with the back of her hand. Still, her shoulders were shaking intermittently, and her head was not raised. At that time, the thin drenched sleeves rolled down to the elbow, and red scars engraved on the thin wrist appeared. Alan was deeply annoyed. He didn¡¯t know if it was because she was living as if invisible, or because she wasn¡¯t like a lady who was having scars even after living in a safe place. ¡°Shouldn¡¯t you say it for me to know, Melissa? Or do you intend to make me tired too?¡± Unintentionally, an overbearing voice came out. As Alan said that in a low voice, Melissa shook her shoulder and looked up reluctantly. Her tearful brown eyes finally turned to him. Strangely enough, she looked stunned as if she didn¡¯t know why she was crying. ¡°¡­¡­I hate you.¡± ¡°Ha.¡± The beautiful red lips twisted coldly. Alan leaned back while his icy gaze fixed on her. ¡°How many days have it been since you said you wanted to have dinner with me every day and to buy you flowers?¡± Alan¡¯s voice was calm at first glance, but his cold eyes were staring straight at Melissa like a sharp blade. Melissa also noticed at once that her actions had offended him. But she could not back down. Melissa clenched her small fists on the table. ¡°A woman who called herself your lover came¡­¡­. She said get out of here right now. I mean¡­ I have to get out of here.¡± ¡°¡­¡­What?¡± ¡°I tried to shake her off, but it didn¡¯t work. I still don¡¯t know why I had to go through that¡­¡­. If it weren¡¯t for you, I wouldn¡¯t have had such a painful memory¡­¡­.¡± Before he knew it, Melissa was staring at the man in front of her with angry eyes. No, obviously it wasn¡¯t just anger. Emotions such as sadness, despair, and disillusionment were filled in her transparent brown eyes. Alan suddenly remembered the first time he knew Melissa existed. Was it a ball at the royal palace? Alan, who is overly sensitive to human¡¯s presence, noticed a gaze watching him from beyond the tiresome human beings surrounding him. The sensation was familiar and unpleasant, but when their eyes met, he was a little surprised and had to hurriedly control his expression. With a clumsy but obviously blatant stare, she was peeping at him. Still, her gaze was very soft. It was both fluffy and cute. It was extremely rare that the eyes of someone who looked at him didn¡¯t feel dirty in any sense. But she didn¡¯t approach him once in those years even after having such a mournful gaze. It must have been a fiery or a desperate yearning. So maybe it¡¯s time for her to try a worn-out method. He felt ridiculous waiting for it in secret. In that sense, it was commendable that she plucked up the courage for the first time in years, last year, but it was a really worn out method. She wanted him to pick up the book. Alan sank into a state of unexpected disappointment. After all, this woman was no different. Nevertheless, it was the first and last distraction he had ever made, convincing himself that there would be something special about her, and observing her. There has been a great deal of work since¡­ She put Alan through a big change, sometimes trivial, sometimes unparalleled. The small woman who shook him with her innocent face, sometimes gave him goosebumps, but he couldn¡¯t let her go. Even if it is something he would have never done in his life, he couldn¡¯t help it because he could not deny the fact that she gave comfort to him that no one else could give him. However, it was surprising that Melissa Collins, who always exceeded his expectations, showed this much resentment. She was like a small animal, so there was no sense of intimidation. Maybe it¡¯s because he doesn¡¯t know deeply about her yet. Or was Monica Elwood so terrible that she poisoned the heart of this small, fragile woman? ¡°Is it Monica Elwood?¡± Melissa¡¯s eyebrows were noticeably distorted when her name came out. She was taking a quiet deep breath, glaring at him like a very wary little cat. Then Alan¡¯s gaze reached the red scar on her soft skin again. ¡°¡­¡­Tch¡± ¡°Because of you¡­¡­ How much I¡­¡­.¡± She burst out a tearful sigh, once again overflowing with sad emotions at the sight of the man clicking his tongue with a dry face. ¡°Monica Elwood,¡± Alan¡¯s eyes were filled with anger towards himself for not being able to stop Monica¡¯s sudden action. The blue veins on the back of his hand, which were as pale as snow, were clear. ¡°She¡¯s not my lover.¡± ¡°Then what¡­¡­.¡± Melissa¡¯s fist quivered. She no longer wanted to be fooled by the man¡¯s red lips, tongue and sweet voice. She no longer wanted to regard herself as pathetic and insignificant. ¡°That¡¯s enough to make a fool of a person¡­¡­. I heard everything about how sweet you and her were before I came to the Duchy¡­¡­.¡± A heavy silence came as she shouted at him with a face mixed with anger and resentment. He didn¡¯t even move a muscle such that one could mistook him as a plastered statue. Only the cold gaze stayed at Melissa¡¯s red eyes for a long time. Come and read on our website wuxia worldsite. Thanks She wanted Alan to say something. Whether it was an apology or an excuse, she just hoped that the heart that had been badly torn by Monica wouldn¡¯t be ignored by him. ¡°It¡¯s a family affair.¡± But it was Melissa Collins who wanted to hear an excuse rather than an apology. ¡°What does that mean¡­¡­.¡± ¡°It means that it is a story that cannot be told to anyone outside the family¡¯s fence.¡± His answer threw Melissa¡¯s heart onto the cold floor. Such elegant and noble violence. It is true that her body is trembling, but how dare he put the blame on Leopold¡¯s name? Then Alan¡¯s beautiful lips moved, letting out a sigh-like low voice. ¡°But I¡¯m in trouble because I want to tell you everything.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Alan, who took a white handkerchief out of his coat, got up and approached her. Melissa opened her eyes wide in surprise, and tears that had not yet fallen flowed slowly. Alan sat next to her and carefully wiped her tear-stained cheeks. The scent of his body and the distant scent of roses that leaked through his collar, which had been opened because he was not wearing his cravat, gently tickled the tip of her nose. Melissa froze with her eyes closed tightly as his cold fingertips swept over the wound near her chin. Alan smiled at the sight and let out a sweet sigh. ¡°Melissa, I¡¯m a businessman.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Melissa could not understand what he was trying to say, but she was not so confident of looking at his face which was very close so she kept her eyes closed. ¡°I have a terrible habit of replacing everything in the world with a deal, and I can¡¯t help it.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°So, tell me your secret. Then I¡¯ll tell you everything.¡± ¡°Secret¡­?¡± It was a sweet and gentle tone as if he was dealing with a child again. Melissa had a strange feeling. A deal to her tears and appeals. It was hard to tell if he was playing a joke or if he really meant it to tell her his story. Nevertheless, she wished for the latter, and pondered what secrets would satisfy him¡ªa businessman. After a while Melissa¡¯s pink lips fell cautiously. ¡°¡­¡­I started writing {Paradise on the Moon} again. I¡¯m sure I¡¯ll finish it this time.¡± ¡°Really?¡± ¡°And then you¡¯ll really have to let me go¡­¡­.¡± Alan slowly scoured a drop of tear hanging on her delicate jaw because it was not wiped. The smooth handkerchief lingered as if caressing her trembling lips, and only after gently pressing her lower lip did it return to his coat. ¡°I¡¯ve already heard that you¡¯ve started to write that novel. You think the servants are blind?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°That¡¯s not a secret, Melissa.¡± ¡°But it¡¯s no longer a secret¡­¡­.¡± Melissa¡¯s face lit up with embarrassment. Alan, who sat with his body turned towards her, was looking at her with his arms resting languidly on her back, which seemed to push Melissa to reveal her secret. ¡°Um¡­¡­. Troy in my novel¡­¡­.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Actually¡­¡­ I modeled it on you.¡± Melissa, who said so, hurriedly covered her face with her hands. The color of her face seen through the gap of her fingers was red. ¡°Did I not know that?¡± ¡°Then¡­¡± Melissa felt her eyes go dark. Should she be more embarrassed here? What a great thing he¡¯s trying to say. ¡°About the first time I fell in love with you was when I was 12¡­¡­? It was a Leopold charity event.¡­.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°If, if it¡¯s not that¡­¡­.¡± Melissa closed her eyes tightly as she felt her covered palms turning clammy. If she stops here, she¡¯ll be the only one to reveal her secrets without hearing anything from him. That¡¯s the only thing she didn¡¯t like. Unfortunately or fortunately, there was a secret left for her. ¡°Um¡­¡­.¡± The other day, Alan asked what he did with her in her dream. At that time, it was urgent to avoid the question, but in principle, anyone would want to know that if they heard such a thing. Read latest Chapters at Wuxia World . Site Only Wouldn¡¯t this deal be more likely to be in her favour if Alan gets to know what he wanted to know? With that thought, Melissa put down her hands that covered her face. But she covered and whispered in a very low voice. ¡°When I dreamed of you¡­¡­.¡± Of course, she can¡¯t tell him every detail of what happened, so just a little bit. ¡°¡­¡­Alan Leopold in my dream once kissed me.¡± Chapter 81 ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? ¡°Me in your dreams, to you?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Alan¡¯s ticklish whisper made Melissa feel as hot as her face could explode. ¡°That¡¯s what happened.¡± Is there anything more shameful than this? She was only trying to figure out what Alan and Monica Elwood were like but she couldn¡¯t even believe herself that she ended up saying embarrassing words. ¡®I must be crazy¡­¡­.¡¯ The moment Alan¡¯s breathy laugh touched her ears, which must have been red, she wanted to bang her head on the table and wanted to pass out. ¡°But unfortunately,¡± Then Alan said, ¡°It¡¯s not enough for me to tell the story you want to hear.¡± ¡°T-that¡¯s sc..¡­!¡± When Melissa, who lowered her hand that had been covering her face involuntarily, turned to Alan, he leaned his cheek on his arm that was touching her back and smiled languidly. ¡°am¡­¡­.¡± Melissa murmured in a daze. But while being resentful that she seemed to be deceived by Alan, his beautiful eyes that looked at her constantly made her lose her strength. At this moment, Alan Leopold¡¯s smile, gaze, and breath were all hers. Thinking about it made her heart ache. ¡°Thank you for making me happy. Thank you for making me feel a little better.¡± (Alan) At that low voice, Melissa asked, with her brown eyes still wet. ¡°¡­so will you tell me?¡± Now she had to hear what he was hiding. It didn¡¯t matter if she got involved. He must pay for the shameful secrets that she would never have said if not for his deal. But there were two things Melissa overlooked. Before she realized it, she was more focused on wanting to hear Alan¡¯s story than on her anger towards Monica. And it was Alan again who stopped her sad tears. After a moment of silence he spoke. ¡°No. Instead, I will tell you one thought that comes to mind.¡± ¡°Ha¡­!¡± Melissa opened her mouth with a bewildered look, forgetting that she was ashamed of her face being close with his. Her flushed cheeks were as red as a peach. ¡°What is that! I told you the shameful secrets¡­¡­!¡± ¡°But this is something I wouldn¡¯t have heard if it wasn¡¯t for today.¡± Alan, who tilted his face to the side, said in a voice as calm as a lake. Melissa couldn¡¯t stand it because she hated it, but unlike him who was calm all the time, she cried like a child and yelled at herself. ¡°What¡¯s that?¡± Then Alan sat up straight and looked straight down at Melissa. Like a winter morning, the cold, transparent blue-gray eyes looked deeper than ever. ¡°The real Alan Leopold also thought he wanted to kiss Melissa Collins.¡± ¡°That¡­.¡± Melissa felt dizzy as if the surroundings were spinning around. Her heart fluttered like a fish just caught. She didn¡¯t know if he could hear her heart at this distance. ¡°Uh, when?¡± ¡°Now.¡± Then Alan¡¯s face narrowed the distance in an instant. ¡°¡­¡­!¡± Melissa, dizzy at the thought that his lips would touch hers like this, hurriedly covered her mouth. The other hand was on the table, but unlike a while ago, when it was held by Alan, it was shaking now. Whether she covered her lips or not, Alan slowly wrapped his hand around Melissa¡¯s cheeks and his face touched her face. Melissa¡¯s eyes were so wide that she could no longer open them any more. It wasn¡¯t until he kissed her on the back of her hand that was covering her lips. ¡°Uh¡­.¡± Had she not covered her lips, she would have given him her first kiss. Melissa felt hopelessly distant at the thought. The place where his lips touched was clearly the back of her hand and the place where her lips touched was the palm of her hand. However, the pale eyelids that closed beautifully in front of her and the neat eyelashes that hung under them created the illusion that she was kissing him now. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± The cheeks wrapped in Alan¡¯s cold hands, the back of her hand where his lips touched, and even the lungs filled with his body scent were melting. Finally, when she closed her eyes too, Alan¡¯s soft lips fell with a small nibbling sound. He whispered in the magical silence, where there was no sound but the breath of the two. ¡°I told you that I thought your hands would smell like ink.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Alan seemed very happy to recall the past, and laughed as if he would go back to that moment any time. His soft breath tickled the back of her hand like a feather. ¡°Actually, at that time¡­ I thought your skin didn¡¯t smell bad.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± The whispering voice was so sensual that she got ripple-like goosebumps on the back of her neck. Melissa, still unable to take her hand off from her lips, closed her trembling eyelids tightly. She had no answer to give to Alan. He must be laughing at her for shaking like a mouse in front of a lion. She couldn¡¯t even open her eyes at the thought. ¡°No, actually, it was good.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± However, Alan¡¯s relaxed manner irritated her. Melissa¡¯s heart was being overworked just by the mere caress of his straight, beautiful fingers on her cheeks and her hair, and her body was drooping like wet cotton. How much longer is he going to torment this poor heart? Melissa took a slow deep breath with the intention of warning him to really stop teasing her then if one more sweet word came out. Whether or not he knew how she felt, Alan¡¯s calm low voice flowed into Melissa¡¯s ear like a wind. Come and read on our website wuxia worldsite. Thanks ¡°It would be nice if I could fall asleep smelling this every day.¡± ¡°Wait¡­¡­hmph.¡± When Melissa finally lowered her hand that covered her lips, Alan swallowed her lips. It was an ecstatic kiss, as if embraced by clouds, desperate and thirsty as if it would take all the breath in the lungs. The brown eyes, which were trembling finely, slowly hid inside the fine eyelids. * * * (T/N: pov shifted back to Mel) ¡®It would be nice if I could fall asleep smelling this every day.¡¯ What the hell was that? ¡°¡­¡­Is it a confession?¡± No, Melissa. Why would Alan Leopold confess to me? Wake up. It¡¯s natural for him to tease. He did the same with her. Alan¡¯s stress got worse after he came to the Duchy, and I¡­¡­ It¡¯s just a side effect. Yes, it is an undeniable fact that Alan sometimes comes back to the mansion, and that the face I see each time looks exhausted. But those eyes and those low-pitched whispers are too much¡­.. to be a joke.¡­ It was too dense. No matter how much a businessman has his own mask, I¡¯m not his business partner, so why bother coming home? Just because of me? He bought flowers, of course. Only because of me. The bouquet Alan gave me was placed on the reading table in a vase. Watching a bunch of fresh freesias scattering the beautiful chroma on the dark brown table made my stomach tickle as if I had swallowed a butterfly. I never imagined he¡¯d really buy flowers. But more than that¡­¡­. ¡°Lady, why are you rubbing your lips?¡± ¡°Ah! You surprised me, Sandra¡­¡­!¡± Sandra murmured with a sullen face as I suddenly screamed at the maid who suddenly popped up. ¡°No, I thought you had a scar on your lips¡­¡­.¡± Ha¡­ I don¡¯t want to do this either. When a belated embarrassment flooded in with the feeling of being a thief, Sandra spoke up, ¡°By the way, lady, it looks like your lips are swollen, isn¡¯t it?¡± ¡°Uh, huh?¡± ¡°You can¡¯t sleep these days. I¡¯m sure it¡¯s because your immune system went down.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± I just can¡¯t sleep. Last night, as soon as I came back to my room as if I were running away, I almost saw the morning sun because I was continuing to write {Paradise on the Moon}. I can¡¯t say I wrote a scene where the heroine and Troy kissed. It¡¯s not like I¡¯m going to feel like a marshmallow on top of a hot chocolate when I think about what Alan¡¯s lips felt like.¡­. ¡°Should I bring some ointment?¡± ¡°¡­¡­ Sandra, please.¡± Sandra is probably wondering about me. that I¡¯m acting like a fool because last night, when I left the dining hall with a bouquet of flowers in my arms, my red face and my limp walking must have been strange, but acted like a fool when I went to breakfast and on my way back. I even had a piece of romaine lettuce that was served as salad stuck on my hair , and Sandra asked a sympathetic question, ¡®Why did you put it here, miss?¡¯ Of course I don¡¯t know how it got stuck on my hair¡­¡­. My state of creaking like a broken doll was still there even when the sun rose in the middle of the sky. I was walking along the hallway of the annex with Sandra for lunch, and I bumped into a man on the shoulder as he was approaching us. But why is there a man in the annex? I think I¡¯m the only one here except for the maids. Is he a servant who forgot his uniform? With that in mind I was going to give him a stiff apology. ¡°I-I¡¯m sorry¡­¡­.¡± The other person apologized first. His expression and tone were somehow urgent. ¡°Do you happen to know where Sir Alan¡¯s office is? I¡¯m not a suspicious person, I¡¯m a scholarship student who came on an errand.¡± ¡°If it¡¯s the office it¡¯s in the main building! You have to go out that way.¡± Sandra pointed across the hall and answered cheerfully, and the man bowed his head. ¡°Oh! I was in trouble, but thank you very much.¡± Looking down silently at his bowed head, I thought it would be useless to ask this person to save me, and suddenly i raised my head as if I had been struck by lightning. ¡°¡­.scholarship student?¡± How can I forget it so completely? No matter how much we didn¡¯t love each other sincerely, the feelings we shared were definitely special. My lips moved automatically when I thought that far. ¡°Hey, do you know Tobias Miller?¡± ¡°¡­¡­How does Miss know him?¡± The man looked surprised to hear Toby¡¯s name. Sandra stood beside me, with her eyes blinking as if she knew nothing. ¡°Oh¡­ he was a friend.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Well, about his accident¡­¡­ Excuse me, can I hear what happened?¡± ¡°It¡¯s¡­.¡± Read latest Chapters at Wuxia World . Site Only When the man hesitated, I added hastily. ¡°He must have been considerate of me, so he didn¡¯t tell me the details. I can¡¯t get in touch with him right now¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Miss.¡± The man replied in a somber tone as if he were afraid of something. ¡°I think it¡¯s better if you don¡¯t know.¡± Chapter 82 ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? The Leopold¡¯s scholarship student whom I encountered in the hallway of the annex warned that it would be better not to know the truth, but I was the one who stopped him and persuaded him to tell me the truth in the end. So I can¡¯t blame anyone, but I also regret ignoring his warning. The man was an academy student who was selected as a scholarship student with Tobias and came to the principality. Maybe it was written in the letter Toby sent me. I didn¡¯t hear the full story. He spoke only a few sentences. First, the story that Tobias had a loved one¡­..¡­. He said that there were no scholarship students who didn¡¯t know that she would come to the Principality soon. And one day, on the occasion of a friend¡¯s birthday, they all went to have dinner together. During then they witnessed a drunken riot, and Tobias who was trying to stop it, got caught up in a commotion. The momentum caused him to fall terribly out of the window¡­¡­ Apparently, it was one of the most famous restaurants in Lunos. Moreover, the restaurant is a three-story building, and below is a busy boulevard where large and small wagons run all year round¡­.¡­. When I heard this, I asked Toby¡¯s colleague not to say any more. It would be funny if I beg him to tell me the details. The man ended his speech by emphasizing to me over and over again, ¡®Please pretend you don¡¯t know this story because it¡¯s kept secret.¡¯ When I cautiously asked if the accident had anything to do with Alan, he didn¡¯t answer, but I saw the fear in his eyes before turning around. I turned around and went back to the room, not the dining hall. Sandra felt that my expression was unusual, so she didn¡¯t say anything, and thanks to that, I was able to walk quietly. Biting my lips painfully over and over again, it was as if I was rebuking myself for completely forgetting poor Tobias, who had to turn his back on his dreams and return to his hometown due to a terrible accident. In the meantime, I only prayed that the accident did not result from the cunning Alan Leopold. Even though I saw the man visibly agitated when Alan¡¯s name came out. It was natural that I felt unbearably disgusted by myself. In Alan Leopold¡¯s house I was enjoying the luxury of drinking, eating, kissing and being mistaken for his woman, and hiding my determination to shake him off in the depths of my heart¡­¡­. I no longer have the right to shout that it isn¡¯t my intention to stay here. Outside the annex, it was the capital of a strange country where things I did not know happened every moment, and I did not have the courage to leave this place and live as a person. Even though it was my dream of studying abroad, the thought of going to a private academy alone was terrifying. To the point where I want to use the word that the academy is not a very good facility as a shield. It was all because of my weakness, and it had to be. It wasn¡¯t difficult at all to imagine myself willingly giving my ankle to Alan Leopold¡¯s shackles. So I was afraid. The greed of not wanting to leave Alan doesn¡¯t exist in me. Hence, if I didn¡¯t believe that, I couldn¡¯t stand this divergence. I know for sure that Alan Leopold is a man who can simply fabricate any evil scheme, even if the cozy, sweet reality keeps covering my eyes. He is the heir to Leopold, who has enormous wealth and power, so he can handle a man without getting his fingertips dirty. With his usual elegance. So don¡¯t forget, Melissa. In fact, he warned me in a letter to keep my distance from Toby, and when the warning was ignored, he took Tobias to Lunoa under the pretext of a sudden selection of scholarships. Even at this moment, I felt pathetic for myself in believing that the accident was not directed by Alan, and wanted to scream. Please, don¡¯t love him again like this. Don¡¯t forget what he did. Don¡¯t miss the warmth and touch of his lips. Please fight against that feeling¡­¡­. I had to spend a complicated day with all sorts of thoughts that I couldn¡¯t organize or define. With such a loud mind, it was impossible to read a book, let alone write the novel. I sat in front of the table and held my pen because I thought I would calm down if I wrote in my diary, but I decided to quit that as well. All I can write on today¡¯s dated page is a feverish appreciation of the first kiss that seemed like a dream, and how terrible the accident that hit Tobias Miller was. I don¡¯t want to record anything. It was a miserable feeling. I asked Sandra to throw away the freesia in the vase. Sandra opened her eyes like that and begged me not to throw away the flowers because they were innocent. At those words, I felt helplessly distressed. ¡°Then put it away from my sight. You can put it anywhere.¡± ¡°Yes, lady¡­¡­.¡± That night, I had a dream after a long time. It was a dream of being chased by a tall, beautiful body with red hair flying over a pure white mask. What happens when he catches me? I don¡¯t remember, but it was probably death, or a terrible thing comparable to that. I ran for my life in the deep darkness. The pain as if my lungs were being ripped apart by tens of thousands of blades was more vivid than reality. The inside of my throat tastes like fishy blood. I ran and ran until my increasingly rough breathing became a scream, as if I were about to die. It was a fear I never wanted to remember again. * * * It was the first time in years that Alan visited her house. Monica couldn¡¯t hide her surprise and joy. ¡°Alan!¡± He stood in front of the gate with his back to the setting sun. He had beautiful black hair that seemed to melt into the night sky and the neat clothes of the same color were also tinged with subtle redness. The picturesque appearance filled Monica¡¯s heart. If I could see this scene every morning and evening. That was her only wish. Standing in the breeze of a summer evening, looking colder than winter, Alan Leopold looked as indifferent as a doll made of pure white snow. ¡°Welcome¡­¡­¡± Fearing that he would vanish even though he was right in front of her, Monica hurriedly ran into his arms. His chest smelled the same as hers. At that fact, she felt a relief like heaven. ¡°Let go, Monica.¡± With great ease, Alan pulled her off and walked into the mansion, passing by the long row of bowed servants. An uneasy feeling flashed through her blue eyes looking at his back, but she followed Alan inside, quickly correcting her expression. Alan, who reached the parlour under the guidance of the maid, buried himself deep on a dark blue sofa. Almost at the same time, a servant who ran at an urgent pace knelt beside him, cut off the cigar and lit it. Monica, who followed him, with her beautiful braid of bright red hair draped over one of her shoulders, brushed her dark green dress. Then she sat opposite him with an elegant figure as if petals were falling. ¡°Are you going to sleep? Shall we start with dinner?¡± She looks so seductive that even the flowers would bow down. Nevertheless, her earnest eyes were constantly gazing at the beautiful fingers that held the cigar and the red lips that let out the misty smoke. He brought up another subject, without answering her. ¡°Did you come to my mansion?¡± Come and read on our website wuxia worldsite. Thanks ¡°Alan, I¡ª¡± ¡°Why are you testing the limits?¡± Alan wrinkled his eyebrows irritably and took a drag on the cigar. His flawless, sunken cheeks were in perfect shape as he sucked on the cigar. The scene was extremely beautiful. Monica continued, trying hard to hold back that she wanted to take his lips there at any moment. ¡°¡­¡­ Are you here to talk about that?¡± ¡°You¡¯re saying the obvious.¡± ¡°Ha¡­ Did that woman tell you? How am I supposed to accept that she¡¯s the reason you came to my house for the first time in years?¡± ¡°Don¡¯t accept it. Just listen.¡± Monica bit her lips at his indifferent tone, as if he was dealing with troublesome work. The only consolation was the fact that Alan didn¡¯t look angry. Of course, Alan can¡¯t be upset because of a stranger. Maybe I didn¡¯t warn her properly. She had been wanting to do the same to Brigadier General Riemann¡¯s daughter, who flirted with Alan but she controlled herself. Her stomach was already boiling, and she didn¡¯t have the patience to have mercy on the same woman who lived in Alan¡¯s detached house. If it¡¯s unfair, she should blame her position. ¡°Why didn¡¯t you introduce me to her? It¡¯s strange that I don¡¯t know the woman who came to the Principality with you, what kind of relationship we are.¡± ¡°It¡¯s a family.¡± Alan replied immediately in a dry voice. Family, I don¡¯t think there¡¯s a word more disgusting than that. ¡°Family¡­¡± Monica, on the other hand, felt her reason cut off. He¡¯s drawing a line now. He came to her on his own feet, and he was speaking in a cold voice because of another woman. The reality drove her to the brink. ¡°¡­¡­yes, I¡¯ll do whatever you want.¡± Alan looked at Monica, who was not denying for some reason, and his bright red lips opened. ¡°My friend, my mother, my one and only lover¡­¡­ I can do anything for you.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°You know I¡¯m the only one who can understand and hug you, Alan¡­¡­.¡± Monica¡¯s lips quivered pitifully as if she were about to cry. Until she heard Alan¡¯s answer. ¡°No, there¡¯s someone else like that.¡± ¡°What? Who is that?¡­.¡± ¡°You just scratched her.¡± Monica¡¯s eyes were filled with astonishment at the words. What did I just hear? ¡°Correct your habit, Monica. If you don¡¯t want to be hurt.¡± ¡°What¡­?¡± ¡°I can do more. Curious?¡± At the eerie, threatening warning, Monica felt a distant pain. Did Alan ever talk to like me this? Even with a knife stuck in my heart, I thought I would be ecstatic if it were this man¡­¡­¡­. ¡°What are you talking about? I¡¯m¡ª¡± ¡°You lie without blinking your eyes. As expected, blood can¡¯t be fooled.¡± Alan put down his cigar on the crystal ashtray and laughed in a low voice. ¡°S-she¡¯s the only one who understands you? You know it doesn¡¯t make sense, right? She doesn¡¯t know anything, Alan¡­¡­.¡± ¡°That¡¯s all I have to say.¡± Monica looked up at him, who lifted his body up. Tears like jewels were forming in her eyes. ¡°You said you won¡¯t love (anyone).¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Why are you hurting me so much? Just because of a woman like that¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Ha¡ªLove?¡± Alan sneered coldly. ¡°How could you say it¡¯s something as insignificant as love?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± He left without looking back. All that was left in the silence of the drawing room was the thin smoke and the woman. Read latest Chapters at Wuxia World . Site Only ¡°That¡¯s what the world¡­..¡± ¡­Calls love, Alan. The words that she couldn¡¯t say became tears and flowed down her cheeks. ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? T/N: he is saying how can she say something so insignificant as love (he¡¯s saying that he is not in love) but she realises that he has actually fallen in love with Melissa. It hurts when you are the first one to realise that your crush has fallen in love with someone else but he hasn¡¯t realised it yet. Chapter 83 ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? The next day after dreaming of being chased by a stalker, I was dazed all day. Meanwhile, Mr. Maurice came to visit. I sat down at the reading table, and he sat at the tea table next to me, reading a book. My mind was so noisy that I couldn¡¯t write, but I didn¡¯t have the confidence to say that I wanted to rest today. That¡¯s why I wasn¡¯t confident to listen to his peculiarly strange tone of saying ¡®I¡¯ll be your Troy¡¯ again¡ª and the kiss scene after showing him the manuscript for an interim check¡ªand above all, Mr. Maurice looked exceptionally tired. Originally, he always looks tired, but these days, he gives off a blurry atmosphere as if he would disappear at any moment. I didn¡¯t want to have an old-fashioned quarrel with him. So, I put my diary under the manuscript paper and pretended to write meaningless letters or scribbles. When he got up after a couple of hours, I told him I wanted him to come only once a week, not three times a week for the time being. Mr. Maurice did not object. He¡¯s not really teaching me, so my suggestion to reduce the number of visits probably didn¡¯t sound like a complaint about his skills. Furthermore, Maurice had said that there is no need to worry about a reduction in salary depending on the number of days of class because the remuneration is paid in a special way. However, it was Alan Leopold, not me, who signed the contract with him, and that he could not follow my suggestion because it was a condition set by Alan that he had three classes a week. So I said, ¡°I think you really need a break. If you¡¯re not healthy, it¡¯ll be hard for you to have a good influence on me.¡± ¡°That¡¯s true, but¡­¡­.¡± ¡°You can still read my novel once a week. I will work hard without being lazy.¡± I added hastily for him, who was still hesitant. ¡°I¡¯ll tell Alan.¡± I didn¡¯t forget to smile as if I was relieved. ¡°Don¡¯t worry, he¡¯s good at doing favors.¡± So I was relieved to finally reduce my contact with Mr. Maurice, whom I had been uncomfortable with¡ªalthough not a bad person¡ªall along. Now that Sandra is here, there is no need to quench my thirst by having awkward conversations with him, and once a week is enough to check whether the progress of the novel is going as he had planned. This gave me a good reason to meet Alan Leopold. I have a clear duty to tell him about the alteration of his contract. So it makes sense for me to wait for Alan Leopold. Even if I say that ¡­¡­, in fact, after Mr. Maurice went back that day, I did not continue writing the novel or my diary, but focused on my thoughts, and I came to the conclusion that I had to wait for Alan anyway. It is my excuse to use Mr. Maurice as a defense mechanism to defend my pining for Alan. . So the reason I have to face Alan Leopold again is because I have to fight with him. There are still a lot of things that need to be answered by him, and there are still a lot of things that need to be explained with his own voice. I have faced Alan several times since I came to this mansion. That¡¯s pretty close too¡­¡­. In other words, I have experienced things that are unusual for me, such as making eye contact, eating and drinking together, receiving flowers, and sharing deep kisses. We are even addressing each other by name, and we use quite intimate language. But I still don¡¯t know how Alan Leopold feels. He looks clear and transparent at first glance, but when I approach him, I can¡¯t see anything. He and I are no longer what we used to be¡ªMelissa, who stared at him from a distance, and Alan, who never looked back¡ªSo I need to know his psychology. Now I think I need to figure out exactly how he stalked me and how he brought me here. I can¡¯t immediately hate Alan Leopold no matter how much I reflect on his past deeds. So I feel I have only myself to blame because I have loved him for countless hours, but I don¡¯t know what his intentions were for his actions. The same is true of my novel. Just as it is impossible to sympathize with or empathize with a text that is not well explained, the story between him and me is completely lost in the middle. This is the identity of the sense of incompatibility that I have felt. His circumstances, his motives, his sincerity, his explanation¡­¡­ I didn¡¯t hear any of this properly. All he¡¯s ever told me was a roundabout, abstract answer. It¡¯s an excuse that doesn¡¯t work for me, even if it¡¯s an excellent businessman¡¯s way of speaking. Using the same language in conversation is fundamental, and I¡¯m not a businessman. Alan Leopold, who had been just an illusion to me for so many years, materializes and talks to me, smiles, breathes and smells, touches me every moment that always blurs my consciousness. How much I looked forward to studying abroad, how much I wanted to send a letter to my family and friends I left behind in the kingdom, and how I was determined to break free from this deformed life¡­¡­. After making eye contact with Alan, all of this hot enthusiasm becomes dull like a night fog that scatters in the morning sun. The moment I monopolize Alan Leopold. The euphoria of that magical time is more exhilarating than anything I¡¯ve ever experienced. I don¡¯t have anything to say if I¡¯ve lived a small life, but it¡¯s true that the actions he takes, the expressions he makes, and the words he says are so stimulating that I can¡¯t turn a blind eye to them. But I must never forget. No matter how sweet he is, as sweet as candy, licking it with a wounded tongue is only painful. So in order to face Alan Leopold straight, to resent him indifferently, to clarify my feelings for him and to be completely free from the remnants of the fear that weighed on me, I decided to wait for him and confront him. Of course, I must not forget to tell the story of Mr. Maurice. I felt lighthearted after a long time. Have I ever felt this relieved since the day I first learned that I was being stalked by an unidentified man? Even after his identity was finally revealed, I never felt comfortable living in this picturesque mansion. Some may laugh at me for being so proud of a decision that I haven¡¯t even tried yet, but this resolution really means a lot to me. To the point where I think the worries and tears of the past few months were a hardship to reach this conclusion. So I was so happy that I wanted to hug myself. I feel like I have crossed a wall I thought I would never be able to cross. Like the saying that the beginning is half the battle, I had a hunch that there will be countless walls left in the future, but everything will be fine. Come and read on our website wuxia worldsite. Thanks You can do it, Melissa. So I just need to see Alan again! * * * ¡­¡­It¡¯s been a few days since I thought that way. There¡¯s a problem. Alan Leopold hasn¡¯t yet come back. Is it because I made a big decision? The days without him were as long as months. In fact, it wouldn¡¯t have been a big problem if it had stopped here. If it¡¯s waiting silently, I¡¯m pretty confident in doing that. But, ¡°Are you here?¡± ¡°Ha¡­ Why are you here again?¡± It is a huge problem that an unexpected uninvited guest has already visited me for the third time. ¡°Sit down, it¡¯s getting cold.¡± Monica Elwood was a very brazen woman. It was four days ago that she came back to me. I believed that she would never meet me after the day she tore my clothes and scratched my skin. She didn¡¯t seem to be here to apologize or say anything in particular. She just walked into the dining hall of the detached house at lunchtime and sat at the opposite side of the big table where I always sat alone and ate. It was the same the day before, yesterday and even today.. She greeted me and then dined again. With an attitude of insignificance, as if she were dealing with a lady whom she had met several times in the social world. It was really shameless. When I met her in the dining hall, my feelings were half absurd and half fearful all three times. I wanted to avoid my seat immediately, but I couldn¡¯t read her intention to attack me like last time, and above all, I had a useless determination. Why do I have to get out of the way? This is my space, this is my meal. Isn¡¯t she the one who needs to get out of the way? Today, Sandra ran away in surprise¡ªit¡¯s getting more and more entrenched that she must have been harassed by Monica Elwood at some point¡ªMonica was surprisingly nonchalant. She was even eating in a ridiculously beautiful appearance. Today she was wearing a dress as white and beautiful as snow, which looked almost like an angel or a fairy. I almost believed that the evil deed of the other day was in my imagination¡­¡­. ¡°You don¡¯t plan to come every day, are you? Are you free?¡± ¡°All I have is money and time.¡± ¡°¡­¡­Ha.¡± I shook my head quietly and started eating. The main dish was veal with potato puree. ¡°You know, Collins.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± The way she talked informally was the same. Temptress, should I be thankful that she isn¡¯t saying anything like that anymore? No matter how beautiful she is, I didn¡¯t want to mingle with a rude person. So I maintained the distance. I don¡¯t even want to get close to this woman. ¡°I hate mushrooms. Will you eat it for me?¡± ¡°Ha¡­.¡± What is she talking about? I shot back while cutting the meat. ¡°What are you doing? Is it a new type of bullying?¡± I was able to reply to her in a pretty loud voice. Of course, I still freeze when our eyes meet. ¡°What do you mean by bullying? How can I do that when I¡¯m so scared of baby?¡± Monica folded her eyes and smiled. I swear I¡¯ve never seen such an evil smile in my life. ¡°I¡¯m trying to get close to you. I don¡¯t have any friends. He doesn¡¯t seem to be here either. I¡¯m not here to see Alan, so don¡¯t worry.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.I have a friend and Alan isn¡¯t usually here at this time.¡± Isn¡¯t it normal to apologize for what happened before that? And why am I answering each and every one of her questions? ¡°That¡¯s great! It¡¯s perfect for girls to build friendships.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t want to build a friendship. I¡¯m going to eat now, so don¡¯t interrupt¡­¡± ¡°It¡¯s a secret between us, so don¡¯t tell Alan I¡¯m here.¡± Read latest Chapters at Wuxia World . Site Only ¡°No, I¡¯m not building a friendship!¡± Monica, who ignored my words, was so annoying that my face heated up. What can I do? What a brazen woman. Then Monica, who picked up a plump cherry and put it in her mouth, whispered in an elegant and captivating voice, while curving her eyes. ¡°If I say, I¡¯ll kill your maid?¡± I dropped the dishware. Chapter 84 ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? It was a drowsy afternoon. ¡°Sandra.¡± ¡°Yes, Lady.¡± ¡°Will that woman come tomorrow too?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± As expected, Sandra was silent. Just a while ago, she was constantly babbling about the difference between Sourne and Lunoa, or that she would teach me Lunoa little by little in the future. Considering how chatty she is¡ªat this point I feel like I¡¯ve become her buddy¡ªit¡¯s noticeably eccentric. Three times a day, Sandra takes me to the dining hall, and while I eat, she simply takes a meal from the servants¡¯ cafeteria. Strangely enough, when she sees Monica Elwood sitting in the dining hall, she disappears in a flash, as if her feet are on fire. She did not even say goodbye before heading off to the servant¡¯s cafeteria. At first I thought it might be just a whim, but recently Monica has been having lunch with me almost every day, week after week. And on the day Monica is here, Sandra hides herself. This can¡¯t be a coincidence. ¡°You know, Sandra.¡± I didn¡¯t mention it at first because I thought Sandra wanted me to pretend I didn¡¯t know, but it¡¯s weird no matter how much I think about it. ¡°Is the ¡®person¡¯ Sandra was talking about Monica Elwood?¡± ¡°What? That¡¯s¡­. Well¡­¡­.¡± I can¡¯t believe she¡¯s so flustered. This is like a yes. ¡°Then the person who Mr. Maurice was in love with¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I, I didn¡¯t say anything, miss!¡± ¡°But Monica is Elwood, not Leopold, so why does Leopold¡¯s servant serve her?¡± I asked the question again, but Sandra closed her mouth tightly, with her shoulders hunched up. ¡°If they promised marriage since childhood, I don¡¯t think it can be summed up in one word that she is not a lover. So is she a distant relative?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°A secret illegitimate child who cannot be given the last name Leopold? Has this gone too far?¡± Now Sandra¡¯s hands were trembling pitifully. ¡°I don¡¯t get it. Sandra won¡¯t tell me.¡± ¡°Ah, ah, my lady!¡± Then Sandra jumped up and stopped talking. ¡°I, as I said before, I¡¯m not ready yet¡­¡­. I¡¯m sorry. But I¡¯ll tell you soon¡­¡­.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± As I looked at her fingers trembling nervously, it was only then that I realized that I was pushing too hard. Maybe she¡¯s traumatised¡­¡­. As soon as I recalled that I too had a traumatic position that I should never touch¡ªin my case, things like hospitals, medicine smells, and needles, but fortunately I rarely come across them¡ªI felt a belated sense of guilt. ¡°Oh, what did I¡­¡­. I¡¯m sorry.¡± ¡°There¡¯s nothing to apologize for, miss.¡± ¡°But still.¡± I don¡¯t know how long she will need to prepare her state of mind or if it will ever be prepared, , but if the level of trauma is serious, I can wait for as long as she needs. Sandra isn¡¯t the one who has to tell me everything, and Monica isn¡¯t the one I need to focus on. The only opponent I have to face is Alan Leopold. Alan is also the one who will teach me how to face the future when I have to live with a heart that doesn¡¯t embrace him in the end. It¡¯s ironic at first glance to learn how to stand alone from Alan, but he¡¯s the only key to liberating Melissa Collins. It will make me a free and mature adult who is now still immature and sick as a girl. But why isn¡¯t Alan Leopold coming back? It¡¯s already been more than 10 days since he last came home¡­¡­. ¡°¡­¡­Goodness.¡± ¡°You¡¯re here? Sit down.¡± And why does this woman come to me without getting tired. I sat helplessly looking at Monica, who was cutting croissants in a red dress like her beautiful hair. ¡°¡­¡­ Is your nickname rose?¡± ¡°Rose?¡± Monica moved her red petal-like lips and somehow she was distraught. Are all Lunoa people this beautiful? ¡°I hear that sometimes, but it was actually a nickname for Baby.¡± ¡°Baby¡­.¡± I didn¡¯t intend to be obedient to Monica¡¯s wishes. So I didn¡¯t want to have a private chat with Monica Elwood, who didn¡¯t know anything ¡°¡­¡­ You mean Alan?¡± ¡°Yes, it¡¯s about baby¡¯s old days.¡± I couldn¡¯t get enough of Alan¡¯s nickname, Rose, without asking in detail. ¡°Why, Why is it rose?¡± ¡°His lips are as pretty as petals. It¡¯s red.¡± ¡°¡­¡­What?¡± For a moment, I thought of the touch of the lips without realizing it, and I almost spit the soup that I was drinking. It seemed as if Monica¡¯s blue eyes were slowly thinning, but my hand, more urgent to quench the heat on my face, hurriedly grabbed the glass of cold water. ¡°What are you thinking? Of course it was a joke.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Then I was stunned as if I had been hit in the head when she scolded me with pathetic eyes. ¡°Alan is a bit sensitive, like a thorn. So he¡¯s a bit of a perfectionist.¡­. Well, you wouldn¡¯t know it, though.¡± Come and read on our website wuxia worldsite. Thanks ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°He was also called a rose master. That¡¯s why I gave him a rose perfume when he entered the academy.¡± Monica looked triumphant, showing off that she knew Alan¡¯s story that I didn¡¯t know. The arrogant smile matched the gorgeous features perfectly. But I wasn¡¯t particularly jealous. I¡¯m not naive enough to believe that Alan will one day be mine. I was just thankful that she told me a story that I didn¡¯t know. It¡¯s a bit daunting to say that Monica Elwood was the first person to gift the perfume, but it¡¯s true that it suits him really well¡­.¡­. And Rose Master. That¡¯s probably the cutest word I¡¯ve heard recently. I told him not to buy roses without knowing that. I laughed for no reason. Listening to Alan¡¯s childhood story, I somehow relaxed, so I decided to ask what I was curious about. ¡°Well, Alan hasn¡¯t been home for more than ten days. Do you know anything? I don¡¯t even know what he¡¯s doing¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Why don¡¯t you know that he isn¡¯t didn¡¯t come home, he just didn¡¯t look for you?¡± ¡°¡­¡­Ah.¡± The answer made me pale. As she said, there¡¯s no reason for Alan to come home and look for me, so why did I think so? In an instant, everything collapsed. Then Monica, who regained her bright smile, said. ¡°I¡¯m kidding. Alan has travelled to Hwa.¡± ¡°¡­¡­Hwa?¡± ¡°The Hwa Empire, Far East.¡± ¡°Oh¡­¡­.¡± Her words quickly put me into a trifling thought. He probably went by ship, right? There¡¯s no plane here. By boat to the Empire of the East¡­¡­. Then, right now he must be on a journey¡­¡­¡­. In the meantime, there was inevitable relief that he did not come home without me knowing. As soon as the frozen heart slowly began to melt, Monica continued. ¡°He didn¡¯t tell you, did he? I understand what you think.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Those words pierced my heart like a dagger. My heart became cold. In a fit of anger, I had the urge to tell her that we kissed, but I managed to use my superhuman mentality and held it in. It¡¯s true that Alan Leopold and I kissed, and it was as sweet and warm as lovers¡¯ kisses.¡­ But Alan doesn¡¯t love me. So it doesn¡¯t mean anything. Alan is a beautiful person that anyone can look up to, and he is surrounded by great and wonderful people around him. If he can share a kiss like that with me, who is nothing, there may be quite a few women who actually know the texture of those lips. Even Monica in front of me right now¡­¡­¡­. But this useless disinformation is always the problem. ¡°¡­¡­But Alan said he wasn¡¯t in a relationship with you.¡± ¡°What?¡± Monica¡¯s smooth forehead was crumpled at once. It was fascinating and scary how a person could change so quickly. ¡°Ha, so? Do you think I¡¯m the same as you?¡± She seemed unwilling to hide her agitation. It was just transparent, fiery anger. ¡°The relationship between him and me cannot be defined only by the word ¡®lover¡¯. We are both family and one and only friends. We¡¯re each other¡¯s only allies in this rough world, and at the same time, it¡¯s our secret, okay?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Monica Elwood spoke those grandiose words without catching her breath. When I just opened and closed my mouth, and didn¡¯t know what to answer, she spoke again. ¡°Don¡¯t be proud that he has you by his side for a while. He has put you in a separate house because you¡¯re too embarrassing for him to take you outside. That¡¯s your position.¡± ¡°¡­¡­Didn¡¯t you say you wanted to be friends with me?¡± ¡°How can I be friends with someone like you? I was just wondering why Alan was interested in you.¡± ¡°Ha¡­.¡± She didn¡¯t scratch me or rip my clothes like before, but she was staring at me like an angry leopard. Why is she making that face with those pretty eyes and lips? It was strange that I suddenly felt close to her, whom I had been afraid of not so long ago. ¡°So, you¡¯re observing me to get Alan¡¯s interest¡­¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Stop. Don¡¯t tell me you¡¯re thinking that I¡¯m your rival¡± ¡°But in the end you and I¡ª¡± ¡°We¡¯ve been together for nearly a lifetime! We had each other¡¯s first kiss, and we¡¯re destined to get married soon. Dad wants it too.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± First kiss, marriage¡­¡­. The dreamy words left me speechless. Alan and I are still a long way off, even if we have narrowed the physical distance. Her words forced me to reflect on the fact. At that moment, a strange question arose in the consciousness that had stopped as if it had tripped over a beautiful reality. Is Monica Elwood the daughter of a Duke of Lunoa? I don¡¯t think so, but what the hell is her father¡¯s status, that she¡¯s saying it¡¯s a simple thing to marry Leopold¡¯s successor? It is true that she looks as splendid and noble as the daughter of a prestigious family. I just don¡¯t know what a great family Elwood is because I don¡¯t know any information about the social circles here. I was a little embarrassed, but I couldn¡¯t resist my curiosity, so I asked. ¡°Who¡¯s your father?¡± Read latest Chapters at Wuxia World . Site Only But to my surprise, Monica¡¯s face suddenly changed from anger to relaxation. Like she¡¯s not mad at me. Why? Is it really that great of a family? Her answer that followed made me even more suspicious. ¡°Ha, did I worry for nothing?¡± ¡°¡­¡­What?¡± ¡°I didn¡¯t expect Alan to really tell you nothing.¡± Chapter 85 ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? After that day, Monica did not appear in the annex. Had she already figured out why Alan was interested in me? If it¡¯s really like that, I¡¯d like to know. What I found out after about ten lunches with her¡ªand of course I never really talked to her except for the last day¡ªwas, in general, not good. How long have Alan and Monica been together,how special they are to each other and the conviction that there is no room for me to intervene. What a perfect match for two rose-like people, how shabby I am in comparison were things I wish I hadn¡¯t known. Maybe it¡¯s a good thing. Thanks to this, I think I¡¯ll be able to meet Alan again with a cool and rational face. No matter how much Alan Leopold puts his lips on the back of my hand and wipes my tears with his handkerchief with meaningless kindness, I will be able to shake it all off now¡­¡­. Still, Alan didn¡¯t come back, so the progress of writing my novel was slow. Due to the melancholic summer rain that continued day after day, my body and mind were damp. If I kill time like this, my firm resolution that I made for the first time in a while may fizzle out. Until Alan Leopold comes back and finds me, I¡¯ll have to diligently reflect on my commitment and greet him in the strongest and most prepared state. So I opened my diary and picked up a pen. The diary, filled with miscellaneous scribbles, was not a diary, but rather like a museum displaying traces of past anguish. [What to say when I meet Alan. 1. The story of Mr. Maurice. 2. Tobias Miller: Ask him the whole story of how he got Tobias involved in the terrible accident, whether he is fully reflecting on this misdeed, and how he¡¯s going to apologize. (If there¡¯s no sign of self-reflection, I¡¯ll reprimand him and remind him. By the way, will there be a day when I meet Toby again?) 3. Ask him if all he really wants from me is ¡°Moon¡¯s Paradise¡± and promise me that he¡¯ll let me out of here when I complete the novel. Memorandum, if possible. 4. As a courtesy to the times Melissa Collins had spent to love Alan Leopold, Alan is to apologize for making her regret those times. As part of his apology, he is to explain in detail what kind of person he was. (Including the family story that he didn¡¯t tell me after he heard my secret.) 5. Asking for a respectful apology as kissing me arbitrarily is clearly rude. 6. Get a promise to notify me in advance if he is unable to return home for a long time.] Is this enough? Is there anything missing? ¡­¡­Oh, I almost forgot one important thing. Yes, this can¡¯t be left out. I have to hear everything about what circumstances and how he stalked me, what brought me here, the real reason for bringing me, when he started planning, etc. With a satisfied smile as I rotated the pen, I quickly wrote down two more things. This is to show my determination not to be dragged around by him any more, and number 6 is¡­.¡­ It¡¯s natural to have a responsibility as the person who brought me in, right? ¡°¡­¡­ Of course you have to take responsibility. You¡¯re not going to let me out right now.¡± After looking through what I had written with a determined face, I thought about writing a few more things, but I stopped because I was not confident of remembering them all. I can¡¯t even take this diary and read it out. Still, I think everything necessary is included. I felt much lighter when I got my thoughts organized. After that, I went back to my normal life. Writing novels without much progress, learning the Lunoa language from Sandra little by little, fumbling through books in the Lunoese language, spending awkward times with Mr. Maurice, who comes once a week, and writing down letters that I couldn¡¯t send. Is it because I fell asleep suddenly? This languid and boring daily life passed quickly like an arrow that was shot without any resistance. In the meantime, there was never a day when I didn¡¯t think of Alan Leopold. From the thought of just wanting to see his face, the frustration of only being able to wait for him, to the new anger that pours in every time I remembered his past deeds. He really makes me feel various emotions. Oh, there was a time when he appeared in my dreams. There were two such incidents. The contents were the same, but it was a dream that he came to me wearing silver armour like a knight from history. Armed with cold iron, Alan looked cooler, and I could hear the clashing of metal as he strode closer. I stood trembling slightly, wondering if he had come to kill me. But suddenly, Alan knelt reverently in front of me, so I held out my hand as if possessed. On that hand, he kissed like an oath. First, on the back of my hand and then on each finger, he offered a sincere kiss as if he were a knight who came back alive after the war. And when he finally lifted his gaze, the dawn-like eyes, just as darkness had cleared and dawn had opened, pierced me. I woke up in horror at the sight of a terrible desire in it. ¡°¡­¡­It¡¯s already the third same dream¡­¡­.¡± I fell asleep while reading a book. I hope I don¡¯t get sick tomorrow. I stretched slowly, repositioning myself. I don¡¯t know how deep was that blade-like gaze, that even after returning to reality, I still think that my heart is still numb. ¡°Miss.¡± At that moment, Sandra, who entered the room, said urgently. ¡°The young master is back. I¡¯ll help you prepare.¡± ¡°Oh¡­¡­.¡± It was one late summer night, two and a half months after I last saw Alan. * * * The place he called me to was the office of the main building. It was dark in the room where only one candle was burning quietly. He was standing with his back against a wooden table cluttered with papers, with his head bowed softly. The mess on the table was somehow not like Alan. The faint moonlight glimmered like a mist over his shoulder. Alan didn¡¯t look back as if he didn¡¯t know I came in. I wondered if he was deep in thought or if he had any concern was worried. ¡°Alan.¡± I called him urgently. It still didn¡¯t feel real that he was in front of me yet, and his back in the hazy moonlight was exceptionally dim. So I was afraid that he would disappear like a mirage. The neck exposed above the collar was as noble as white snow. ¡°Alan.¡± I impulsively ran to him and hugged him by the waist. A flat, hard back and a subtle body temperature. The sweet and bitter scent of rose vines and wet soil¡­¡­. Thank God, it¡¯s not a dream. ¡°Oh¡­¡­.¡± As soon as I realized it, I pulled my arms back like I was burned. Am I still not awake? Where did the courage to say the words to Alan go? Just as I tried to beat myself up like that, I suddenly realized. The fact that I was missing him more than I thought. At that moment Alan looked back at me. Come and read on our website wuxia worldsite. Thanks ¡°¡­¡­.¡± He was always as white and pale as the moon, but today he seemed to be in danger for some reason. The shiny gray eyes with blue light were as clear as showing off their presence in the dark, but there were emotions resembling sadness and hopelessness There are days when Alan¡¯s eyes glow like this. Somehow, I felt like I had seen his hidden secrets. ¡°Melissa.¡± ¡°If you have to go on a business trip like this¡­¡­ you should have told me¡­¡­.¡± Obviously, this was not the intention, but my voice shook strangely. Like a whining child. Alan, who was staring at me, narrowed the distance and grabbed me by the shoulder. His body size, which is one head taller than me, obscured the moonlight that was pouring over me. Instead, his dark shadow cast over me. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± A sense of intimidation and tension engulfed me. My heart thumped. His blue-gray eyes were as persistent as trying to dig into me. There was no escape from his body and gaze. I just held my breath. as if standing on the edge of a cliff Nevertheless, his grip on my shoulder was surprisingly cautious. ¡°Melissa, Troy¡­¡­.¡± I watched his lips gently open. ¡°Answer me. What happens to Troy?¡± ¡°¡­¡­Troy?¡± For some reason Alan was asking about my novel. Is it the illusion created by this strange darkness that his voice sounds strangely desperate? ¡°He lived by deceiving everyone. Even to himself¡­. What the hell was that deception for?¡± ¡°That¡­.¡± There are moments like that sometimes. Sometimes you just want to hear a story. Anything that happens outside of reality. ¡°¡­¡­Troy has an old wound.¡± I whispered, thinking maybe that¡¯s how Alan feels now. ¡°The wound grew at an alarming rate. It was already big enough to swallow him all while he was still a child.¡­.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°So it¡¯s not like deception. It¡¯s only natural to look clumsy sometimes. The young Troy, covered in scars and weeping, still lives in his heart.¡± So I want to soothe him, hug him. It¡¯s all right. You¡¯re doing great. Was what I wanted to tell Alan tonight, when he seems to be anxious.¡­. With that in mind, I gently leaned my cheek against Alan¡¯s wrist, which stretched over my shoulder. ¡°Is that all?¡± Then I could feel Alan¡¯s hand being strained. ¡°Can he eventually be free? The ideal that he longed for even in the midst of fears¡­¡­¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Can he find it?¡± It¡¯s a strange thing. I felt like Alan, who asked me that, was like a small animal that relied on me. As if my answer were his salvation. Of course I know it¡¯s ridiculous. How could he, who is so high and so great, lean on me, who is so small and insignificant. Nevertheless, I answered while looking into his eyes. ¡°Yes.¡± At that moment, Alan hugged my head. The comfort of being in his arms was deeper than eternity. But suddenly he hurriedly pulled himself off. It had only been a few seconds since he held me in his arms. Saying the following words to me with a confused face, ¡°That¡¯s it for today.¡± ¡°¡­¡­I still¡­¡­.¡± Alan sighed as I tried to return to his arms. He seemed to be angry, or he seemed to be holding back his anger. ¡°It¡¯s better to go back.¡± I couldn¡¯t resist him, who spoke strangely with a strong voice, so I just bit my lips. I wish I had the courage to say I wanted to be hugged more. Is he tired from the long business trip? Of course he will. Maybe he wants to catch up on his work or organize his thoughts before he goes to bed. ¡°¡­¡­Okay, still, I hope you find me again sooner or later. I have something to say.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°And if you have to travel far in the future¡­¡­.¡± Then Alan leaned in my ear. I¡¯ll tell you. I¡¯m sorry. The breathy whisper made me shiver. ¡°Okay, go now.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± It was a pity that I couldn¡¯t hug him again, and when I looked up, his blue-gray eyes, which had always been cool, were twinkling. Read latest Chapters at Wuxia World . Site Only Alan¡¯s lips touched and fell lightly on my cheek the moment I realized that those eyes were remarkably similar to those I had seen in my dream. It was very fleeting. ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? T/N: I relate with Alan so much here, to be honest in your life you are so lost that you aren¡¯t sure of anything at some point, it makes you feel like quitting everything because you don¡¯t see any end to this hellish misery. In my life I had a similar situation and after hearing those words from someone who is important to me I strangely felt light that I literally thought I might die soon because I was feeling so light hearted. Here, for Alan, Melissa is a very important person, she wrote a novel with a character so much the same as Alan even with his original name that he wants to hear the words of him getting out of this misery soon. Chapter 86 ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? As I lay on my bed, staring at the ceiling, and thinking about various things, the room that had been immersed in pitch-black darkness slowly lit up with a dim light. I can¡¯t believe I couldn¡¯t sleep a wink.¡­. I couldn¡¯t find a plausible answer to what Alan was upset about. A sigh came out for no reason. I couldn¡¯t sleep all night and my head was heavy and hazy, but I curled up under the soft blanket and tried to recall what happened last night again. A voice that had subsided as if he was holding back his anger. When he pushed me away, it was as ruthless as pushing someone he really hated¡­¡­. How did I end up making him so angry? By hugging him as I like? Maybe my unlady-like behavior was disapproving. Or did he not like the answer I gave when he asked about Troy? Because he said he liked my writing. Maybe that wasn¡¯t the answer Alan was expecting. But it¡¯s very strange. If he was really angry, why did he kiss me on the cheek¡­¡­. Because he¡¯s a gentleman? Is it his creed to give a good night kiss even if he¡¯s angry? ¡°Huh¡­?¡± Then I heard the sound of a carriage moving away. The morning had not yet arrived and the sky was still dawn blue. All kinds of visitors and carriages come and go into the mansion more often than I thought, but there will be only one person who leaves the mansion at this time with a carriage. When I met Alan, who came back from work late at night, I always wondered at what time he leaves the mansion. But I didn¡¯t expect to find it out this way. He has been going out at this hour. In the early hours of my morning sleep, when I was wandering in my dreams. I once thought that Alan might disappear by magic. So maybe all the time I ate and talked with him was a mirage. ¡­¡­I guess I still have the habit of thinking of Alan Leopold as a fantasy. At that time, I was suddenly enveloped in a strange feeling. Then, all the time he spent on his way home so far¡­is just to stop by for several hours? Certainly, I¡¯ll be mistaken that he¡¯s back to meet me. Yesterday was the day he came back from a business trip for more than two months, so he must have been tired, but why didn¡¯t he stay a little longer? This is his house¡­¡­. Is his work that busy? Did he get some sleep? As I worried about him helplessly, I realized one thing. I loved and admired Alan¡¯s background and the labels[1] that followed him, but in my heart, I thought it was all given for granted. A lover that everyone wishes for and a role model for young people. A genius businessman and the only heir to Sourne¡¯s Pillar¡ªLeopold. I thought that all these crowns were given to him naturally as he was born with Leopold¡¯s name. I had no idea of ??the times he would have endured the pressure of the praises while I was earnestly loving his beautiful shining moments. My mind was complicated. It is true that I have come to hate him for capturing my heart and even keeping me in his cage, but I can¡¯t deny that I still love him. But now I even feel sympathy for him¡­¡­. Who the hell am I sympathizing with? As I was lost in thought, the morning dawned bright. I sat down in front of the table with the manuscript spread out. However, I did not write, but was staring blankly at the clouds floating past outside the window. It was only natural to startle Sandra, who came to wake me up with a sleepy face. I didn¡¯t want to worry her, so I acted like I just woke up. My excuse was that it¡¯s a nice day today, so I woke up early. But poor Sandra had to be surprised once more, because of a servant from the main building who came to my room as soon as the morning dawned. ¡°The young master sent it.¡± What he brought out was a basket full of pale pink peonies. ¡°T-the young master sent this?¡± While Sandra, who had received it, was stunned, I stopped as if frozen in the frigid cold. ¡°Miss, there¡¯s a note in the basket!¡± Sandra approached me with a large flower basket in her arms since the basket was so big that her hands were full and she couldn¡¯t open the note by herself, so I had to open it myself. I reached through the flowers. ¡°This is¡­.¡± It was a thin, smooth paper with fine gold leaf rims, as if torn from a notebook. It was folded twice in exactly the same shape as the nasty notes I had received several times. Even though I knew there would be no warning or requirement like that, somehow I hesitated. Don¡¯t tell me he wrote down the reason why he was angry with me last night. With that in mind, I opened the note carefully. Contrary to my expectation, the words inside were overly concise. [Yesterday¡¯s flower.] ¡°¡­¡­Ha.¡± A sigh, which seemed like a laugh and a breath of relief, flowed out. He suddenly and cruelly kicked me out, and in the meantime, he kept the promise he made to fulfil my request? I couldn¡¯t even like it because I didn¡¯t know what he was thinking. ¡°Miss.¡± Even after the servant returned, Sandra diligently looked at my countenance. ¡°You¡¯re not going to tell me to throw this away, are you? It¡¯s so pretty.¡± ¡°Oh¡­¡­.¡± Then I remembered the bright yellow bouquet I had received from Alan the other day. I had asked Sandra to throw it away. The strange thing was that I couldn¡¯t remember why I decided to throw the flower away. What was it? What was it again? My sleep deprived brain kept refusing to remember, so I paused, choosing a word. Sandra hurriedly added, as if I was thinking about whether to throw away the flowers or not. ¡°Do you know the flower language of peony?¡± ¡°No, what is it?¡± ¡°It¡¯s pudency.¡± ¡°Pudency¡­..¡± Come and read on our website wuxia worldsite. Thanks At that moment, strangely enough, a sensation that I had never been conscious of came back to life. Alan¡¯s lips that gently touched and fell on my cheek last night¡­.¡­. I think I was shaking. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± An artist sponsored by Alan Leopold. It was absurd that the servants here knew so much about my relationship with Alan, but now that I think about it, I don¡¯t think it¡¯s wrong. The weak point is that it is a sponsorship that has never been asked for consent. ¡°¡­¡­I think he¡¯s right that he likes my novel.¡± ¡°That¡¯s how it all starts! Did he tell you why?¡± Judging that my softened tone was permission, Sandra was humming and transferring flowers into a vase. Sitting on the bed, I answered, watching the bright pink flowers unfold on the table. ¡°My writing changed his daily life.¡± ¡°¡­¡­Oh my.¡± Sandra, who stopped her hand for a moment, turned to me. ¡°It¡¯s so cool¡­¡­.¡± Her amber eyes were shining as if looking at a newborn baby deer. She looked so lovely that I couldn¡¯t stand the cuteness. ¡°I misunderstood you as a couple at first, right? I told you, it wasn¡¯t groundless!¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± I wasn¡¯t in the least pleased with the words. It even felt imprudent to say that Alan and I were mistaken for lovers. He and I belong to different worlds in the first place. Little Melissa, who dreamed of marrying a prince, no longer exists. I grew up to be a more realistic person than anyone else. One of the habits I learned naturally as I grew older is not to expect anything. Life never goes the way you expect it to. But life¡¯s still a blessing because there is no disappointment without expectations. ¡°Sandra.¡± At least it is for me. Because I¡¯m not strong enough yet. Even in the seemingly trivial despair, I end up unhappy as if I were lost in the dark. ¡°Yes, miss.¡± ¡°I never asked for this sponsorship.¡± So please be careful. ¡°Don¡¯t ever say that again. Do you understand?¡± ¡°Mi, miss, I¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Please.¡± I don¡¯t want to be disappointed with Alan Leopold anymore. * * * Lunoa¡¯s social club, where celebrities, nobles and wealthy foreigners from all walks of life secretly gather, was the nucleus of Lunoa¡¯s political and financial circles. This luxurious subterranean space never goes out even at night. Certain qualifications were required to set foot here. In other words, it was a big water that the floaters could not even come close to. It would not be an exaggeration to say that in order to establish a firm place in the principality, one must almost live here. Alan Leopold was strongly offended by the fact, but his natural entrepreneurial temperament completely concealed unnecessary emotions. Alan was already one of the most notable figures here, which meant that his plans were going smoothly. It is shocking to know that these men, who noisily clinking their drinking glasses in the thick cigarette smoke and sometimes even make vulgar jokes, are all famous. But even more surprising is the fact that in the past, wars and cities have been lost because of the frivolous conversations and even playful bets of those gathered here. The social club of Lunos was a place with such a history. Outside of this enormous underground space, Alan, who was called out to one side of the dark alley, stood without hiding his uncomfortable expression. ¡°Alan!¡± ¡°What are you doing?¡± The woman¡¯s arm, which was about to hug him, was interrupted by his black gloved hands. ¡°I¡¯ve told you not to come to me. You don¡¯t want me to be more polite anymore?¡± A moment of fear rose in the brown eyes of Marcela Riemann, a woman who raised her dazzling blond hair high. ¡°¡­¡­I know you are more interested in ambition than women. But that¡¯s why you need me.¡± But she soon regained her confident expression. ¡°I mean, use me.¡± ¡°I don¡¯t need you.¡± Despite the firm refusal, the woman raised her chin without being intimidated. ¡°Alan, don¡¯t you know that even if you¡¯re the heir to a great family, you¡¯re just a stranger here in Lunoa, aren¡¯t you? You¡¯re not even an aristocrat here. Monica Elwood, whom you stand by with, she¡¯s neither noble nor anything, so you must be with me.¡± Read latest Chapters at Wuxia World . Site Only Alan shed a low laugh at the remark. He didn¡¯t even listen to what the woman in front of him said. He just thought of someone with the same colour eyes. No, it¡¯s a little more¡­¡­ Was it thin and glassy? As soon as Marcela, who was mistaken for finally leading the conversation, smiled with satisfaction, Alan spoke coldly. ¡°It seems that you haven¡¯t heard what I told your father the other day.¡± ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? [1] as in his achievements, title, etc. Chapter 87 ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? Alan said coldly. ¡°It seems that you haven¡¯t heard what I told your father the other day.¡± ¡°If that¡¯s the case, it went in one ear and out the other[1]. I thought he was bothering you again.¡± She knows it well. The beautiful brow was waving like a wave. ¡°I can¡¯t believe you¡¯re suddenly dating while you¡¯re so busy trying to settle down in Lunoa. Also with the Sourne woman? I¡¯m sure you didn¡¯t mean to believe it either.¡± ¡°Oh my. It¡¯s true.¡± At Alan¡¯s dry response, Marcella laughed and scoffed. Then, a large turquoise earring hanging from the ear reflected the light and glistened. ¡°You may not know, but I already sent someone to the kingdom to find out. That there is not a single woman in a prestigious family who can be suspected as your lover.¡± ¡°You are diligent too.¡± Alan managed to resist ignoring her and wanting to leave. Therefore, he did not hide his sarcastic attitude. Although he had already politely refused several times, it is already too much for him to keep this much courtesy towards Marcela Riemann. ¡°So she wouldn¡¯t be a decent woman, and you wouldn¡¯t have a serious relationship with an unnamed woman who isn¡¯t beneficial.¡± ¡°It¡¯s frustrating that you don¡¯t believe it. Since she¡¯s not an aristocrat, she¡¯s not too concerned with names and positions.¡± ¡°So you¡¯re telling me to believe in the existence of a woman I¡¯ve never seen before? Why don¡¯t you just say you¡¯re a gay or an impotent?¡± ¡°Ha.¡± Alan scoffed. He hated this stupid class the most. An idiot trying to provoke. The fact that she believes in her father¡¯s power and commits shameful acts, or that she is ignorant of her own lack of culture, is just stupid. Then I have no choice but to tell her in more detail. ¡°I¡¯m glad I hid her. She¡¯s such a delicate woman.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Marcela¡¯s gaze on him, who had an indifferent gaze on her, was sweet. There really is a woman who is secretly dating this cold man? Then why can¡¯t I? She added with a flushed look. ¡°Tell me if you really have a woman, Alan. Why did you fall in love with her?¡± ¡°Of course¡­..¡± Alan had a beautiful smile on his lips. The pale eyes were still icy, but the smile was provocative enough to be called obscene. ¡°Isn¡¯t femininity noble and elegant? I am a man, after all.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Isn¡¯t it more of sexual desire than for a family or status?¡± Marcela, who blushed at the blunt remark that returned her provocation, bit her lips, but Alan remained smiling. Yes, this isn¡¯t the worst yet. If it goes out nicely like this. But Marcela Riemann¡¯s heart was once again poisoned. Alan Leopold, whom she thought was totally driven by interests, fell in love because she was just a woman? He is no different from ordinary men. ¡°Alan.¡± Marcela¡¯s interest in Alan grew hotter, let alone cooler. It¡¯s easier to talk if it¡¯s just femininity, not status or background. The woman¡¯s brown eyes narrowed sharply. ¡°I think I¡¯ve explained enough¡ª¡± ¡°Wait a minute.¡± Then Marcela suddenly hugged the man in front of her. Then she touched his waist with an explicit touch and held him against her voluptuous body. ¡°I was stupid, Alan. I was focusing only on you as a businessman¡­¡­. But of course, I love you as a man as well.¡± ¡°¡­¡­Miss Riemann.¡± Alan narrowed his brows nervously. The woman who pushed him stubbornly was just a role. He recited a small curse through his teeth. ¡°I don¡¯t want to hurt you, so let go.¡± ¡°Leave it to me. You can¡¯t even compare me to the Sourne girls¡­¡­.¡± Despite Alan¡¯s cool warning, Marcela stretched out her arms. Black hair curled gently between her fingers and the brilliant jewels in her hands. Soon as she pulled Alan¡¯s face and poked her lips out, Alan couldn¡¯t bear it anymore and pushed her away. ¡°Ah!¡± As Marcela was tossed upon the cold stone floor, the dazzling hem of her robe fluttered, creating a small sandstorm. Alan¡¯s eyes looking down at it didn¡¯t contain any emotion. ¡°Obviously I warned you. Are you not aware that you are a lady?¡± ¡°This¡­.. How dare you insult me ??like this!¡± ¡°I think it was generous enough compared to Miss Riemann¡¯s impertinence. I hope we never meet again.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Marcela trembled as she lay face down. Even if he looked at a leaf of grass by the roadside, it wouldn¡¯t be as insensitive as this. This was the first time she experienced this kind of humiliation. She had always got what she wanted. The deep sense of contempt that boiled in her heart only made her want the beautiful man in front of her more. ¡°Today, get that woman sorted as soon as you get back.¡± Alan clicked his tongue irritably as Marcela said with an evil voice. ¡°That¡¯s enough of your indecent behavior. Unless you want to shame the family name.¡± ¡°Take care of her and be my lover from tomorrow onwards. Otherwise, I¡¯ll tell my father and stop you from establishing yourself in the Principality. By any means.¡± ¡°Ha.¡± Come and read on our website wuxia worldsite. Thanks Could it be any uglier? Alan sat down with a light sigh in front of her, who couldn¡¯t stand up because she seemed to have sprained her ankle. ¡°Is this what you mean by being an aristocrat, Miss Marcela Riemann?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°It¡¯s amazing.¡± When Alan wasn¡¯t agitated, Marcela was rather nervous. Does he think it¡¯s a joke? But her words were by no means absurd. Brigadier General Riemann is not a noble person in the first place, and his daughter is a petulant person. Now that he¡¯s retired, he is so laid back that it¡¯s routine for him to act as a fraternity gatekeeper or spawn a gossip street, so he could threaten Alan¡¯s position here in Lunoa if she asked. ¡°Why? Do you think I can¡¯t do it because I love you? Then, you are wrong. There¡¯s nothing I can¡¯t do to have you.¡± She quickly hoped that Alan¡¯s cool eyes and noble lips would ask her for forgiveness and beg her with tears and hoped for him to collapse. That scene was bound to be beautiful. How can she see it? What he fears the most.¡­. ¡°¡­¡­Railway.¡± Marcela remembered the word and smiled insidiously in an unladylike manner.. ¡°Your charitable work is supported at the national level, and your trade is your personal domain, so there is no sanction. But what about the railroad?¡± Even in the Kingdom of Sourne, the railroad business has not yet taken shape. The sketches of this great transport revolution were first embodied in the Principality of Lunoa. It was thanks to the perfect combination of environment and conditions. The arrival of a world in which trains loaded with not only people but also cargo, and livestock would pass between the capital and the border area in an instant was about to arrive. A new era will be ushered in. Therefore, it was only natural that investment in the railway business was the hottest topic in Lunoa society. It was not long before Alan Leopold came to the Principality that he had been on the list of railroad investors¡ª curated over the years, and now his investment contracts were on the verge of being counted. If he successfully accumulates wealth and consolidates his name in Lunoa with investments in the railway business, everything will be fine after that. That was the point that Marcela was digging into. ¡°You¡¯re a foreigner after all. What if high-ranking officials and important figures of the Principality come together to decide on restrictions on foreign investment?¡± Marcela¡¯s father, Brigadier General Riemann, was a war hero and cousin of the princess, a senior nobleman of Lunoa, and his brother was Archbishop Hessen, a member of the Senate. No matter how much Leopold was protected by the Sourne royal family, he could not overcome Riemann¡¯s influence in the Principality of Lunoa. In the Principality of Lunoa, where the aristocracy is still evident, unlike the Sourne kingdom, Alan is only a young newcomer to the business world. He was even a foreigner. ¡°I know, your performance here means a lot to you. And that you are a tough man who don¡¯t know how to run away.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°So come to me at this point, Alan. If you say you¡¯re going to abandon her and become my man, I¡¯ll take everything that happened today as if it never happened.¡± No matter how much her desire to have him soared to its peak, she did not expect to attempt such a petty threat against a stranger herself. It was a cruel and brutal precipitation that really had no way for him to confront. Marcela looked up at Alan with a thrill of guilt and expectations. But Alan Leopold was cold-blooded as if he saw an ant, even his contempt towards her was a luxury. ¡°I¡¯m afraid that won¡¯t be possible.¡± ¡°You¡¯re an outstanding businessman. You know what¡¯s good and what¡¯s bad. Just swallow your pride.¡± As Marcela whispered, Alan sprang up. She scanned his beautiful body slowly from the tip of his toe with fervent eyes. When her gaze finally stopped at his eye-catching jewel-like eyes, the woman opened her mouth with an ecstatic look. ¡°Come on, Alan. Now get me up.¡± But the man just laughed silently, with a strange face that no one had ever seen before ¡°I can¡¯t help this cursed businessman¡¯s temperament. I am now pursuing my own interests thoroughly.¡± Leaving the poor fallen woman alone, Alan turned around without hesitation. Then a shrill voice flew behind him. ¡°¡­¡­I don¡¯t understand you! I¡¯m sure you¡¯ll regret what happened today!¡± I don¡¯t understand myself either. The man sighed with a pale face. But he did not look back or slow down. Instead of returning to the social club where the party waited, he hurried towards the carriage with the black lion pattern on it. It was the moment when Alan Leopold, who lived only for the fulfillment of his long-standing plan, made the first mistake. * * * Deep in the night, the butler and servants rushed out to greet their owner in the carriage that appeared suddenly like a moon shadow. ¡°Young master!¡± The somewhat disorganized appearance of the owner made the butler William feel faint. ¡°What the¡­!¡± After getting out of the carriage, Alan walked past the servants and headed for the main building. The posture was straight as usual and the constant stride did not seem drunk, but the strange atmosphere around him was indeed rare. The butler, who was following his master¡¯s footsteps, carefully opened his mouth. ¡°¡­¡­ Let¡¯s get the bath ready.¡± ¡°No.¡± It was on the terrace of the main building where Alan stopped walking. Soft hair with the same color as the night sky fluttered lightly in the gentle breeze. He opened his closed eyes, leaning against the semicircular railing and taking a short breath. ¡°In the separate house.¡± Read latest Chapters at Wuxia World . Site Only ¡°If it¡¯s the separate house¡­.¡± The gleaming moonlight shone behind his back. ¡°Call her.¡± ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? [1] heard but disregarded or quickly forgotten. Chapter 88 ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? [T/N: The POV shifts from Melissa to Alan and vice versa in this chp] ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? Melissa stood with slightly damp hair and a slightly defenseless face. Alan already knew that she usually took a bath before she went to bed. Maybe she was getting ready to sleep. Nevertheless, rather than feeling sorry, there was a greater sense of stability. ¡°My goodness.¡± Alan whispered to the woman who couldn¡¯t take her eyes off him as if she had forgotten how to blink. ¡°There are no flowers today.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Alan Leopold, standing under the moonlight, was mesmerizingly beautiful. It seemed hard to believe that he was a human being, and it seemed as if he would disappear if she closed her eyes and opened them. But Melissa didn¡¯t forget to talk just because of his dazzling beauty. Rather, she was confused. It was because she felt that the affectionate feelings that had prevented her from treating him harshly no matter how hard she tried to pull herself together were fading at once. The cause was none other than a red mark left on Alan¡¯s disheveled shirt collar. It was so obvious that it was a mark of a woman¡¯s lips. ¡°You¡­¡­.¡± As if she was strangled, a very suppressed voice leaked out. However, Melissa could not continue her words because of the flood of emotions that shattered her mind into pieces. Her anger, which she reflected on his evil deeds one by one and thought about poor Tobias, would disappear like a bubble when she faced Alan. To overshadow the many nights when she blamed and suffered, Melissa trembled with terrible disillusionment when she faced him, who had been buried under the traces of an unknown woman. You called me out tonight to show me this? You¡¯re now going to crush my heart? He is not even her lover, and yet the blood all over her body has become unbearably cold. The sensation made her heart beat fast. But the bitter hatred that rose in it was as hot as the fire of hell. Melissa¡¯s face, which was happy when she suddenly hugged him last night, stopped still and didn¡¯t close the distance, as if she was a stranger. And then her face looks like it¡¯s falling apart¡­¡­. Eventually, Alan was watching her in silence, grit his teeth in a clear rage. With a serious and deep gaze as if one were appreciating a work of art in an art museum But her lips crept open with an unexpected question. ¡°Is it Monica Elwood?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Only then did Alan look down at his badly disheveled collar and click his tongue. He was so distracted from running all the way here that he didn¡¯t even notice this look. He wasn¡¯t his usual self. And the moment his brow was nervously frowned, Melissa lost her last strand of patience. ¡°Tell me, is it Monica Ellwood?¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­No.¡± Alan grudgingly replied to an unprecedented rush. It wasn¡¯t Monica Elwood who had stained his clothes, it was stupid, low-class Marcela Riemann. So there was no mistake in his answer. ¡°Ha¡­.¡± But he didn¡¯t know that the answer hurt Melissa¡¯s tender heart. She was staring at the man in front of her, chewing her lips visibly trembling. ¡°¡­¡­Disgusting man.¡± Melissa opened her eyes wide in surprise at what she had said. But she didn¡¯t want to apologize. Alan Leopold was literally a disgusting man. He should not have done this to her even when he still knew how much she loved him. If he didn¡¯t know how she felt, he wouldn¡¯t have been kind enough to make her have such ecstatic delusions over and over again. It must have been fun, a country woman shuddered at every word of him. Then what is this today? A new joke? His cruel sadism, who looked as if he were watching out for her reaction, was unbearably disgusting to her. ¡°You rolled around in a mess¡­¡­ Did you want to brag about it?¡± ¡°Ha.¡± Then Alan¡¯s mouth twisted coldly. The sight of her being confident and speaking recklessly made him stand on edge because she wasn¡¯t like her usual self. He knew why Melissa was angry. But he had also had his worst day that he couldn¡¯t kindly point out that it was a one-sided, silly illusion. ¡°Yes, it was splendid. It will probably be on the front page of the newspaper.¡± Melissa burst into tears at the words. It was pitiful to see her barely holding back her sobs and shedding tears as if she didn¡¯t want to receive any sympathy from the man in front of her. ¡°Why did you come if you were going to do this? You should have slept all night. Why¡­¡­!¡± The contempt was new. In her innocent red eyes¡­¡­¡­. The low murmuring Alan soon closed his eyes. It was then that his red lips spat out impulsive words that were not calculated. ¡°Do you know what I threw away?¡± ¡°Of course she¡­¡­.¡± Alan sneered coldly as Melissa glared at him and muttered. A deep, subdued voice echoed through the air. ¡°There¡¯s no way you¡¯d know. Just to spend a few hours in this mansion, you don¡¯t know how I¡­.¡± Damn it. Alan, who wrinkled his brows in agony, roughly swept up his pitch-black hair. He opened his eyes ferociously, and his cool blue-gray eyes turned straight to Melissa. Melissa gulped down her breath at the trap-like stare. Overshadowing the fact that it was this morning that she was worried about whether his work was very busy or did he sleep well, Melissa thought, feeling the shivering anger intact. I won¡¯t be fooled any more. Alan Leopold is neither noble nor elegant. He¡¯s vulgar, brazen¡­¡­ just disgusting. ¡°¡­¡­ Did you think I¡¯d be touched if you said that? It¡¯s rather horrible to say that after seeing this look.¡± Melissa spoke with strength in her words, even as she shed tears like beads. Severe contempt, with scorn in her eyes. ¡°I thought you¡¯d be special¡­¡­.¡± Come and read on our website wuxia worldsite. Thanks The man¡¯s regret filled murmur dispersed helplessly. But for Melissa, all his words and sigh were like a sharp dagger. ¡°Special¡­ An ordinary woman like me must be special to you.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Did you try to hold me here because I was special? Softly comforting you with candy-like words?¡± There was no answer to the woman¡¯s cold words. Melissa murmured helplessly. ¡°Indecent¡­.¡± As if those words were a signal, a creepy look suddenly appeared in Alan¡¯s eyes. ¡°You know it well.¡± The words of explanation came to the end of his throat, but what he said was an arsenic-mixed joke. ¡°It just so happened that I wasn¡¯t very satisfied today. You have to deal with it, Melissa.¡± ¡°¡­¡­What?¡± Melissa staggered with empty eyes under the illusion that her feet were falling apart. She regretted her past of being obsessed with him, and tears welled up as she was devoured by that sadness. ¡°You¡¯re the worst.¡± She was no longer confident of forgiving Alan Leopold. ¡°Seeing you, who is always in the spotlight but doesn¡¯t easily mix with people, I¡­ I was happy to think that there are similarities between you and me.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°But¡­ you were a prodigal playboy in the background.¡± She suddenly remembered a story she had heard from her mother. Alan¡¯s father, Ian Leopold, had a great history with women. Maybe it¡¯s not just a rumor. The only son who inherited his blood is proving it so faithfully. Melissa continued to mutter with her small fist clenched. ¡°¡­¡­What does it feel like to be such a dirty deceitful person?¡± ¡°Ha, are you out of your mind?¡± Alan asked back in a vicious tone. The only person who recognized the hideous scar he had hidden deep in his heart, and who assured him that he would find what he had pursued blindly all his life, was now, dripping with pure hatred, belittling him. It was last night when that heavenly consolation held him back from falling. Suddenly, the purpose of his life and ideals seemed to be scattered like smoke. I am so exhausted. I can¡¯t stand it if I don¡¯t lean on such a small and weak woman. At what point? It was disastrous. ¡°You must have found the whole thing funny.¡± Melissa¡¯s delicate lips, however, did not stop and poured out knife-like criticism. ¡°When you harm an innocent and good person¡­¡­ I thought I wouldn¡¯t hate you more than that. It¡¯s amazing¡­¡­ I hate you so much.¡± ¡°¡­¡­What nonsense are you talking about?¡± Alan, who had a cold face, got a headache with the high-pitched voice. His bloodless face with his back against the light was eerily beautiful. It wouldn¡¯t be weird if he bites a woman¡¯s neck right now. ¡°Tobias Miller. If you¡¯re a human, you can¡¯t pretend you don¡¯t know. Because you completely trampled his life.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Alan could certainly have corrected her wildest misunderstanding at once. ¡°You¡¯re no difference to a murderer¡­¡­.¡± But, oddly enough, he couldn¡¯t refute anything. Why is it that I am now reminded of the fact that Ian Leopold has taken the lives of not just a few people in order to rise to the position he is today? It was a long time ago when I found out that it had happened in silence, and I hated him deeply¡­¡­. Why did the eyes of Melissa Collins looking at me resemble those of mine when I was young while looking at that man? ¡°Right, you can¡¯t even make excuses.¡± Melissa, who was teary, continued without taking her eyes off the man in front of her. Said in a voice as clear as a resolution. ¡°I curse all the time I loved you.¡± ¡°You are¡­¡­.¡± Alan, who was about to say something, resignedly covered his eyes. Melissa¡¯s shoulders flinched and she wrinkled her delicate brows further when a sigh-like swear word came out from his gritting teeth. ¡°Ha, nevermind.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I was crazy, to think you¡¯ll be different.¡± The low voice darkened the shadow of despair over Melissa¡¯s head. ¡°Don¡¯t talk like that. It¡¯s horrible to hear that because you¡¯re not as beautiful or fancy as the women think you are.¡± Read latest Chapters at Wuxia World . Site Only Alan gave no answer. He looked deep into the eyes of the woman which was filled with poison, the watery brown eyes that hadn¡¯t left his head all day. Although it was only for a brief moment, his gaze on her was so deep that it made her legs go weak. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Alan walked past Melissa, whose lips were trembling, without knowing what to say, and left the terrace. A strange scent, a mixture of pale roses and musk scent, hung faintly in the place. Melissa¡¯s sad tears did not stop until the maid who rushed to her helped her back to the room. Chapter 89 ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? I wish I could be someone special to him. If I could stand proudly by his side. I had such a fleeting imagination. But it was all useless. Alan Leopold to me was beyond reach. He was shining as bright as the moon and stars in the distance and high above, while I was always looking up at him from a low, dark place. He was so far away that even though I reached out with burning longing, I quickly withdrew my arms in regret. The immeasurable gap between him and me made me cry without fail. I was always thirsty and cold when I thought of him. I blamed my precious second life, which I had gained like a lie, because of that beautiful man. And every time I did that, I hated myself unbearably. Even though it was late at night, Sandra not only prepared tea for me, but also stayed with me until my tears stopped completely. Sandra¡¯s dark amber eyes contained anxiety and regret. She seemed to have a lot to say, but she didn¡¯t say much like me. Sandra was commuting from her home in Lunos because she wasn¡¯t a maid here, and today she waited for me and stood by my side, even though it was well past the time for her to return. As a result, midnight has passed. I succeeded in persuading her to go to sleep in a guest room in the separate house since it was already too late and anyway the guest room is always empty. When Sandra withdrew with a good night¡¯s greetings and the pitch blackness finally came into the room, I remembered Alan like a habit. I stayed up all night last night, so I didn¡¯t sleep today except for a short nap during the day. Of course, my head was fuzzy, and my body was tired without any strength to lift a hand. It makes me want to jump into a deep sleep right now. But consciousness did not send me to the realm of sleep. ¡°Alan¡­.¡± Why didn¡¯t he even make an excuse? Although he looks perfect, he is actually just a young man who has just come of age. So he could have argued that he was impulsive and that it was because he was still not good at controlling his emotions. He could have been cowardly enough to avoid a momentary accusation. This is too harsh, Alan. It¡¯s like I¡¯ve become a child whose head is so dazed that I can¡¯t even decide what¡¯s right and what¡¯s wrong. I still want to bite my tongue because of my heart which is longing for you. You make me miserable every time, in one way or another. Anything is fine, so you should have given me an excuse. Then I wouldn¡¯t have to forsake myself who loved you. I wouldn¡¯t have had to throw away all that time and memory. If there was even a single, trivial excuse, I would definitely pretend to be deceived and you¡­¡­. ¡°Melissa, please¡­¡­.¡± I clenched my hands as if to punish myself. As the nail digs into the soft palm of my hand, a piercing pain rushes to the spot. However, this was nothing compared to the crushing feeling in my heart. Compared to this suffocating agony. Why am I so stupid and insignificant? I hated not being able to sleep because I cried so sadly at the shivering insult, and I was still using all my thoughts to defend him even though he is the reason why my eyes are hot and teary. What am I going to do by guessing the excuse that the person didn¡¯t even come up with? Today I poured out an outspoken curse on him. No matter how hard I pulled myself together, I think I was pretty good for a person who was melting like butter on a piece of bread. Disgusting bastard, the worst, prodigal playboy, filthy deceiver, a murderer¡­¡­. What¡¯s surprising is that it took less than a minute to unleash these grave accusations. It was, indeed, a bold move that I would have never imagined in the past. But it¡¯s ridiculous that the only reason that drove me that hard was the trace of a woman left on his shirt. I can¡¯t believe I¡¯m giving out such harsh hostility because of the shock that I had seen from his promiscuity. Did I mistakenly think that I was something special to him just because I kissed him? It was so funny that I could laugh at my own dignity and integrity. Even so, it was unexpected that I was in pain from the sharp accusations that were spit out to hurt him. Had I been living with Alan Leopold for so long that hurting him felt like an attack on myself? ¡°¡­¡­I¡¯m seriously ill.¡± Poor Melissa Collins. I crouched further under the blanket, hugging my shoulders, thinking that I was really beyond redemption Then, I closed my eyes straight away to sleep, but Alan¡¯s last words, which were ringing in my head, were repeated even more clearly. Senses are naturally sharpened in the stillness of darkness. ¡®I thought you¡¯d be different.¡¯ Knowing what he really was, I couldn¡¯t stop myself from becoming uncontrollably unhappy the moment I heard it. But what if Alan hadn¡¯t come over with a lipstick stain? If he did, I might have melted on the spot. Maybe I would have felt like I was surrounded by ecstatic light. Him saying that I¡¯m the only one who¡¯s different. That¡¯s what I¡¯ve been longing to hear for a long time.¡­. * * * It was a dull afternoon. I was sitting at the table with my hand supporting my chin. The table filled with empty manuscripts was as crowded as my head. The pen, which is dry and curled at the end, gives a heavy burden just by looking at it. It was natural that my eyes shifted toward a small vase in one corner. A pale pink peony whose meaning is shyness. It was still showing off its lovely bloom, but it was clear enough to be seen with the naked eye that the petals were gradually losing their vitality. How much longer will it last? It is so natural that the vase will soon be empty that it is not sad. The flowers will wither away soon. That¡¯s something even a child would know. Come and read on our website wuxia worldsite. Thanks Then suddenly I felt similar to the poor flower trapped with its roots cut off in a beautiful vase. It doesn¡¯t seem like anyone else¡¯s business that it¡¯s just drying up slowly without any hope or expectation¡­.¡­. Somehow feeling cramped, I rubbed my neck without heat. Actually, I¡¯ve been in a dilemma without a way out. I bombarded Alan with horrible words and he was so angry that he even left me behind, so what happens to him and me now? Probably we won¡¯t eat dinner together and I won¡¯t receive the bouquets of flowers that he used to give me. However, it doesn¡¯t mean he¡¯s going to let me out. Although going out is exactly what I want. He may be trying to lock me up even more now that he hates me. Maybe he¡¯ll fire my maid and leave me alone in terrible loneliness again. No one has ever insulted Alan Leopold more sharply than I have, so it was not unreasonable to think this way. Then should I win over one maid to my side? Or, wait for the subordinate who came for his errand to get lost again and come into the annex, then beg for help to communicate my situation outside the mansion¡­¡­. ¡°¡­¡­Nonsense.¡± I don¡¯t have any blind allegiance to Alan and his family, so what am I going to do to recruit them? It¡¯s good if it doesn¡¯t get in his ear and get sent to a dungeon. Then there is only one conclusion. {Paradise on the Moon}. It is certain that Alan likes this novel. So if I complete this, I can trade for my freedom. For him, who has always held only noble and beautiful women, the woman I am is an unusual collectible, nothing more, nothing less. There will be countless women who will replace me even if I go out to the streets right now. How many of them won¡¯t be fascinated by the luxurious comforts offered here and Alan Leopold¡¯s special treatment? This vast garden is not enough to line up the women who are eager to replace Melissa Collins. So let¡¯s hurry up and finish the novel, I will just pull myself together again. It¡¯s true that there¡¯s no object to hang on to unless it¡¯s this¡­¡­. I don¡¯t care about the ending now. It will be difficult to end beautifully as the ending is set, but let¡¯s write honestly with the current feelings. It¡¯s about completed. With that in mind, it wasn¡¯t until half a day after I started the day that I slowly stretched to write. It¡¯s been a while since I wrote it, so it will take some time to immerse myself in the flow. ¡°Miss.¡± At that very moment Sandra came into the room. ¡°I brought some refreshments. It¡¯s the snack you enjoyed the other day.¡± ¡°Thank you.¡± After Alan Leopold returned from the Hwa Empire, food and sweets from that Empire often appeared on the table. Perhaps among the supplies he brought back to Lunoa were spices and ingredients. Even though it was a mysterious Empire, the food there tasted faint and welcoming, perhaps because it was an Eastern empire. As for tea, it¡¯s just not my taste. At that time, Sandra, who had gathered her pastimes and sat on a chair in front of the window, asked at once. ¡°By the way, why isn¡¯t Mr. Maurice coming?¡± ¡°Oh, I said it¡¯s okay to come only once a week.¡± The problem is that I forgot to tell Alan Leopold. ¡°But it¡¯s already been over a week¡± ¡°Is it already?¡± ¡°Yes. I¡¯m worried that something might have happened¡­¡­.¡± However, Sandra¡¯s face was strange. I don¡¯t think there¡¯s any special relationship between them. It¡¯s just that the expression or the atmosphere feels more like concern than a passing remark¡­. I asked with a blank face. ¡°Sandra, do you like Mr. Maurice?¡± ¡°What? Why do you say that?¡± She was about to embroider over the white handkerchief, but she asked back in surprise. ¡°¡­¡­You seem very anxious.¡± Love and anxiety are feelings that can never be separated. ¡°Oh, no. I don¡¯t like him. What I¡¯m worried about is¡­¡­.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°If anything happens to him¡­¡­.¡± Read latest Chapters at Wuxia World . Site Only Sandra hesitated as she opened and closed her lips several times. Rolling her eyes to her eyes was a reaction similar to when she talked about Monica Elwood the other day. At that moment I thought about changing the topic because she looked like she was in a predicament, ¡°¡­¡­Oh, by the way.¡± She opened her mouth first. ¡°Oh, by the way, I heard what you were curious about this morning.¡± Chapter 90 ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? ¡°Oh, by the way, I heard what you were curious about this morning.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± If she brings up a different story in such a hurry, I should be willing to listen it out. I looked as curious as I could. ¡°What story?¡± ¡°After staying here last night as I was coming out of the guest room this morning,I met a maid that I¡¯ve worked with when I was serving the Leopolds!¡± ¡°Really? It must have been nice..¡± ¡°Yes! I didn¡¯t know that the face I knew would be here. So we talked about various things.¡± I was listening to her with a quiet nod. I thought that¡¯s why she came to wake me up a little late this morning. ¡°I got to hear the details of the accident you heard the other day in the hallway of the annex.¡± ¡°The accident story¡­¡­?¡± ¡°Wasn¡¯t it Mr. Miller? The name you mentioned to the scholarship student who was on an errand.¡± ¡°¡­¡­Ah.¡± I was awkward for a moment. Because I didn¡¯t want to hear any more of the story. One curious thing is that Sandra¡¯s expression is very bright. There was even a strange sense of pride in her eyes. It was a face that felt a little different for a person who wanted to talk about Toby¡¯s accident. However, Sandra suddenly opened her mouth, as I was calmly waiting for her story. ¡°You said that Mr. Miller, a scholarship student, fell out of a third-floor window trying to stop the drunk man, right? But it looks like he was wrapped around a drunkard as he fell. However, Mr. Miller was the only one who was fatally wounded.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Tobias is also the son of a pastor, but anyone who has ever met him will admit it. What a good and gentle man he is. However, even if his actions give rise to a touching story, it was still uncomfortable to talk about it with a smiling face. ¡°¡­¡­ Sandra, I told you he was my friend. He lost legs and his dream. I don¡¯t think it¡¯s something to laugh about.¡± ¡°Oh¡­¡­.¡± Sandra then replied with a visibly embarrassed face. To the point the dimples around her mouth were about to explode. ¡°Well, I¡¯m sorry if I offended you, miss. I didn¡¯t mean to say that. Actually, here¡¯s what I was going to say.¡­.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°That¡­¡­ Mr. Miller was so hurt that he had to quit the job, but it seems that the young master helped him.¡± ¡°Help?¡± What does this mean? For me, who knows how much Sandra¡¯s faith in Alan Leopold is, it was something that made me frown. He¡¯s even a man of great talent for seducing people regardless of their intentions. ¡°It¡¯s the young master who helped with Mr. Miller¡¯s treatment! Master Alan is his employer, but no employer does that to an employee who has been in an accident during holiday or through his own mishap.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°And as a consolation, he even gave him a generous severance pay. So that he can go back to his hometown and live comfortably. Even though it wasn¡¯t in the contract.¡± Sandra added with a face that couldn¡¯t be more proud. ¡°He¡¯s really a model for Noblesse Oblige! You know how much he has been working on charity and the relief of the poor since he was in the kingdom, don¡¯t you?¡± ¡°Well¡­¡­.¡± I don¡¯t know. I can¡¯t answer that. Because it¡¯s your young master who said that a businessman thinks about everything in the world with a deal. Wouldn¡¯t Alan¡¯s profit from the deal be this public opinion? I don¡¯t mean to blame him for his good deeds, but¡­¡­. ¡°But the story must be a secret, how does the maid know it?¡± ¡°I heard she¡¯s dating a scholarship student.¡± ¡°¡­¡­Oh, really?¡± That¡¯s such a sloppy secret. Of course, Sandra thought of me and told me this, but I couldn¡¯t hide my bitter smile. If this story is true, I should respectfully apologize for lashing out at innocent Alan for saying he is nothing short of a murderer. Indeed, Alan is not behind the accident, if he has just done the good deed¡­. haa. If so, I have nothing to say even if my apology gets refused. Such rudeness would be unforgivable to me at least. Nevertheless, I¡¯m carefree due to the suspicion that everything was Alan¡¯s schemes. However, I could not deny that I wanted what she said to be true. ¡°Sandra.¡± ¡°Yes, lady.¡± ¡°Thank you for telling me the secret story.¡± I¡¯m already used to living as nothing to Alan Leopold. Naturally, it was more difficult for me to hate him than to be hated by him. ¡°Ayo what are you saying? Feel free to order anything else.¡± ¡°Well, you know¡­¡­.¡± In fact, more than anyone else, I desperately wanted to believe in him. I wanted perfect persuasion. ¡°Can I ask you one thing?¡± ¡°What kind of favour?¡± Come and read on our website wuxia worldsite. Thanks ¡°I want you to mail my letter, since you can go outside.¡± ¡°Oh¡­¡­.¡± Sandra looked perplexed straight away. It is natural. Alan, who didn¡¯t even reveal my name to the servants, would have told them not to help me escape or help me mail my letters. But there was still a chance. ¡°I¡¯m not asking you to send it to my family in Florin. I want to send it to Toby.¡± ¡°You mean Mr. Miller?¡± ¡°Yes. I won¡¯t write anything else. Just help me check the facts.¡± I was earnestly desperate. And I believe that truth always works. ¡°I haven¡¯t been able to contact him since I heard about the accident. I¡¯m worried about Toby, but I¡¯m sure he¡¯s the same. I¡¯m not going to talk about this place at all except that I¡¯m fine.¡­. Yes?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Sandra, you said you wanted me to trust Alan. I want to trust him too.¡± ¡°¡­¡­When are you going to write the letter?¡± As expected, Sandra couldn¡¯t refuse my request. She was confident of Alan Leopold¡¯s innocence and wanted me to recognize him. ¡°I¡¯ll write it right away, so can you hurry out of the mansion before sunset today? Even if the ship comes up tomorrow, it will take quite a while to get to the kingdom.¡± ¡°Do you know Mr. Miller¡¯s address?¡± ¡°Yes, it¡¯s the New Ditch in the Sourne kingdom.¡± I did not know that the day would come when I would feel grateful for my weak habit of dwelling on past memories whenever my reality was overwhelming. As I packed my bags for the Principality, I put the faded letters instead of putting more practical things like clothes and hats in that old little bag. I never took them out again because I thought I would cry as soon as I saw them, but they were always in my bag. Among them was a letter from Toby when I had a severe fever¡ªaccompanied by a palm-sized picture of Lake New Ditch¡ªhad the address of Millar Street on the outside of the letter ¡°Oh Sandra, write down your address on the outside. So that I can get his reply there.¡± ¡°No problem, miss. So tonight¡¯s dinner¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I can go alone. You don¡¯t have to worry about that.¡± Smiling slightly at her, I rolled my hair up and fastened it tightly. My exposed back of my neck was cold. I immediately grabbed the pen and added, ¡°Sandra,be careful about leaving quietly. There¡¯s a lot of eyes here, so don¡¯t get caught up in the nonsense.¡± ¡°Yes, lady.¡± With that answer, Sandra looked down again on the embroidery frame and started to embroider while I began to write a letter. It was a long letter. [Dear Tobias] * * * I was deeply relieved to hear that Sandra had mailed the letter safely. Of course, nothing changed immediately because it would take quite a while for the letter to arrive at Sourne and for his reply to reach Lunoa here. Alan Leopold has not returned to the mansion since that day. It would be natural to be busy with work, and just like how he left for Hwa Empire, I don¡¯t know where he left again. Maybe he hates me so much that he doesn¡¯t want to come back. It wouldn¡¯t be hard to get a villa, and there would be a bunch of women who could lull him to sleep. ¡°¡­¡­I can¡¯t write.¡± For the time being, I decided to focus on completing the novel, but the pen wouldn¡¯t move. Today, I wrote only one sentence after a few hours. Sadly. My head, which often fell into daydreaming, was always dizzy. Lately, I¡¯ve been sitting idly and not even pretending to write, partly because Mr. Maurice, who will monitor me, hasn¡¯t appeared for weeks. But I didn¡¯t really want Mr. Maurice to come back soon. Rather, I¡­¡­ I thought of Alan. He¡¯s the inspiration and source of all my writings, so I don¡¯t think I can write my novel if he¡¯s not in the mansion. It was somehow frightening to admit that I wanted to see him. But my manuscript is already¡­¡­. [She missed Troy] ¡°Let¡¯s quit today.¡± I put down my pen. I was thinking of clearing my head while reading a book. Among the books brought from the main library, there were quite a few books that I had not read yet. Nevertheless, I reached for the familiar book as if possessed. {The Night that Covers the Waiting and Sleeps} I wanted to read it again even though I had already read the ending. I thought that this book might be the best way to understand how I feel right now. While reading about a few dozen pages like that, the hand that was turning over the pages suddenly stopped. [You were so far away like the moon and the stars] ¡­¡­..It was a phrase that seemed to have imprinted in my mind exactly as it was. It must have been a part I had already read in the past, but as if I was seeing it for the first time, a strange shock flooded in me. Soon I forgot to breathe. Only my busy eyes were seeing the words. [I struggled like a hungry ghost, drawing your warmth. Even in a breeze, even in a drop of rain, I fumbled with my clumsy hands to find your trace, and stumbled several times. Read latest Chapters at Wuxia World . Site Only On an exceptionally deep night, my waiting was lit like a candle, and on a cold night, my waiting was wrapped around like a blanket and I barely fell asleep¡­¡­¡­.] ¡°¡­¡­I see.¡± To forcefully deny a fact requires more mental strength than one might think. I suddenly realized how exhausted my mind was. I wanted to be free. Wouldn¡¯t it be easier if I admit it? There are already countless nights when I¡¯ve managed to fall asleep covering my heart waiting for him. And tonight will be the same¡­¡­. Chapter 91 ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? Every season has its own unique scent. It¡¯s hard to describe what scent it is, but it¡¯s fun to be able to distinguish it clearly. It seems that autumn has already arrived in Lunos, the capital of the Principality. It¡¯s awkward to say that it¡¯s chilly because the climate is so mild, but it definitely feels like summer is over. This is especially true in the morning and evening. When I open the window, I can smell the clear autumn scent in the wind. And writing in the autumn breeze seems to be one of the coolest things I can do. [She missed Troy. The withered flower has long since been thrown away. There was no way flowers could replace him in the first place. It was only because of her heartless longing that she occasionally looked intently at the wretched and withered petals, but all she wanted was Troy. ¡°You said you wouldn¡¯t let me go¡­¡­.¡± The woman murmured in a hoarse voice. ¡°Where did you go without me?¡± The seasons have changed, Troy. My favorite season has come. But winter will come soon. Shining moments always fly away quickly. ¡°Are you going to let me spend the winter without you?¡± She felt uncontrollably sad at the thought of spending the winter without him. Troy, as white and cold as snow, was her winter. The woman thought that if he didn¡¯t come back, no matter how many times the year changed, there would be only three seasons that would repeat.] Autumn is the season of blessing that brings abundance and comfort to people¡¯s hearts. And the expressionless winter that follows mercilessly crushes the glorious harvest season. Winter is a cruel season. And the time I loved Alan Leopold was always like a long winter night. The journey of one sided love was always as cold and lonely as the hands and feet, and as dark as pitch darkness. But that didn¡¯t mean that I was always curled up, sobbing or crying. In the season when harsh winds and snow storms lurk outside the window, even a small amount of light and warmth feel affectionate and precious. It is truly magical. My heart trembled with emotion at the slightest light that might be a personal, or a torture of hope. I would happily wander in a cold blizzard, with a feverish white breath, a red tipped nose, repeatedly adjusting my collar. In retrospect, I guess it wasn¡¯t just Alan Leopold that I loved. I loved all of him, the bitter sorrow I tasted while ill with a fever, the warmth of tears running down my cheeks, the kind words I gave to myself and my unripe youth, and even my clumsy sighs that melted in all those times. And surprisingly, it still is. ¡°¡­¡­I¡¯ve never thought of it this way.¡± I somehow felt like my head was clearing up. I even felt my heart moved. The fool Melissa, who is ordinary and has nothing, has embraced something so precious and beautiful in her heart. I¡¯ve always thought that it¡¯s the right thing to do to blame myself. ¡°In fact, all those moments were precious, and nothing was worthless¡­¡­.¡± And the fact that I was in love even with such a good-for-nothing self was like the salvation of my heart. I felt like I was about to cry, and I thought maybe I was the only one who could save myself. At least it won¡¯t be like love. Breathing in the rusty and gentle breeze from the distant sea, I was thinking this. Will I be able to receive this much pure and noble love from others, not myself? I can¡¯t say that what I loved was not him, but myself who loved him, or that I loved him to love myself. But I want to live with the young and clumsy me in my heart. As Troy did, willingly. In fact, I like winter, which is beautiful but cruel, indifferent, white, black, and cold season. I think I like all the rhetoric one can put on this season. No wonder I jumped into the snowy street to get hit by the beautiful snowflakes with my whole body. Of course, these are all stories after falling in love with a man who is like Winter. So I hope he comes back before winter comes. You are my winter. Come and read on our website wuxia worldsite. Thanks He doesn¡¯t have to kiss my hands, cheeks and lips again. At that time, wearing a shabby dress and tiptoeing, sneaking peek over people¡¯s shoulders seeing you who were shining. I don¡¯t care if only that much distance is allowed. On a cold winter night, I can be as happy as a dream with that amount of light and warmth. So, I want you to let me feel that magical feeling once again. * * * Like that, several suns and moons rose and set again. I spent my time waiting for only one person, but trying not to let anyone know of that feeling. Sandra would sometimes look at me with pitiful eyes, and it was immediately apparent when I looked in the mirror. I didn¡¯t know I was a person who could make this face. A face that is neither joy nor sorrow. There were contradictory emotions in my eyes, such as a certain ecstasy of sadness or hopeless joy. In fact, I wasn¡¯t just sad and desperate during the nights when I fell asleep using my bedclothes and pillows to wait. Indeed, colorful emotions came to me. That¡¯s the season of autumn. Of course there were beautiful ones. I sometimes see memories of the Sourne Kingdom or precious people in my dreams. There were several mornings when I woke up in tears, but each time, the emotions that filled my heart were clearly beautiful. Of course, Alan Leopold has also come to my dreams a few times. There was a time when I didn¡¯t know his scent and couldn¡¯t smell anything from him in my dream, but now I can feel him quite vividly and specifically. What kind of shape do his pupils have when I look at him up close that they were actually closer to the sea or the universe than to ice, and now I know how flawless his pale skin is, how his breath touches my skin, his lips are cold, but his tongue is hot. Maybe that¡¯s why, unlike before, where I realized at once that this was a dream when I faced Alan. It was not easy to tell if it was a dream or reality now even if he comes in my dream. In my dreams, we always sat face-to-face eating, sometimes clinked our glasses, hugging each other silently, and sharing sincere kisses. So I wrote when my longing for Alan came like a wave, oh, actually, there were countless moments like that, but when that emotion swept over me, I wrote with that as an inspiration. But after the waves had grown as if they were going to swallow me, I had no choice but to put down my pen and go to sleep. In that case, there¡¯s nothing I can do. I had a lot of thoughts, so I couldn¡¯t fall asleep easily, but Sandra helped me by making chamomile tea or preparing a warm bath. I don¡¯t know how comforting her presence was to me. When I came back from meeting Alan Leopold in my dream, everything became bearable again. For some time. Resolving longing in this way is only a temporary measure, so naturally, it was not comparable to reality. In particular, the sense of loss when I woke up from my dream was so numb that I always thought I didn¡¯t want to go through it again. However, it was always quick for longing to grow in size like the ocean. Then I will end up in a situation where I will be drifting dangerously on top of it. It became a set procedure to surrender helplessly, as if waving a white flag, and go to sleep. When I came back from meeting him in a dream, I was able to step on dry land again, and I lived for a few days again, relieved by the fact. In other words, it was a continuation of such a life. Time passed like a river while I was writing words on the manuscript paper day after day, staring blankly at the garden trees outside the window turning red, and drawing the autumn of Sourne in my heart. And one day, about a month after the beautiful man in the moonlight left me like the wind on a late summer night when a grass bug was crying. ¡°Miss.¡± One day, exactly a month or two had passed, the butler knocked on my door. ¡°The young master is back.¡± Read latest Chapters at Wuxia World . Site Only ¡°Oh¡­!¡± My heart dropped to my feet. At the same time, I felt nauseous and indescribably scared due to the tension that felt like my body was floating. ¡°He¡¯s waiting.¡± My winter is back. Like the white snow falling on an autumn night, without a sound. ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? Chapter 92 ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? It was late at night when my maid had already gone home. I sat alone with a candle lit and lost in thought. Night sharpens the senses. The crisp knock on the door and the butler¡¯s heavy voice were as clear as if they could be heard right next to me. ¡°He¡¯s waiting.¡± When I heard that, I rose up without hesitation while my head turned white with uncontrollable excitement and unexpected fear. Like someone who¡¯s been waiting for this moment. I couldn¡¯t afford to dress up immaculately, so I was wearing only a thin, beautiful shawl. I tried to stay calm as I walked down the darkened hallway behind the butler with the lamp. Of course it wasn¡¯t easy. I thought my heart was going to pop out of my mouth just thinking that I was getting closer to him. Just thinking about what to say and what kind of expression I should make, made my head spin. I was dazed as if walking on water. But something was wrong. The butler is leading me to a whole new place. The terrace had already passed, and neither the office nor the dining hall was in this direction. As I went into the depth of the main building for such a long time, it was the end of the hallway. There was a door, and a faint scent of rose vines flowed through the crack of the door with a faint light. Even though no one told me, I intuitively thought that this was Alan¡¯s bedroom. ¡°Umm, here¡­.¡± I looked at the butler, but he only blinked quietly as if to let me in. At this point, the person inside the room would have already noticed the presence of the people outside. ¡°Whoo.¡± I gathered my still wet hair together, hung it over one shoulder, and took a deep breath. Then, with trembling hands, I grabbed the doorknob and turned it. Squeak, the sound of the door opening was exceptionally loud. It¡¯s nothing to be ashamed of, but I blushed. A flood of light washed over me, and I couldn¡¯t raise my head and just looked down at my feet, staring at the floor with dark wood woven in a delicate Chevron pattern. It was not until I heard the door close behind my back that I raised my head as if I had woken up. A soft fragrance wafted through the room, where candles softly illuminate the darkness. The opulent, dark wood furnishing gave the room a majestic yet cozy atmosphere. Pale golden light shimmered across the elegant burgundy wallpaper, and the person sitting in front of the table in the middle of the room was the owner of this beautiful mansion. It was my Alan whom I dreamed of. ¡°Ah¡­¡­.¡± I froze without even greeting him. It was because I remembered a summer night when I was busy picking the harshest words and hurting him. I was scared because I couldn¡¯t tell what he was thinking as he sat without an expression. Just like when we first met here in the basement, Alan had a somewhat disheveled appearance, especially his clothes. He didn¡¯t button up his shirt and his solid chest was exposed. Seeing Alan in that state, my face was strangely heateds like it¡¯s about to explode. I stood silently staring at him for a while, then Alan lowered his arm under the sofa and picked up something. Then he got up and walked towards me. He will be the only man who can walk so gracefully and upright with such a tall height and wide shoulders. What he held in his hand was a bunch of lilacs. ¡°A promise is a promise.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± That was his first word. In an instant, a pile of purple flowers came into my arms. As soon as the sweet scent of flowers tickled the tip of my nose, my whole body relaxed for some reason. I felt a strange sense of emptiness. Suddenly, Alan stood behind my back and grabbed my shoulder with his large hands. It was a light touch, as if pressing musical keys. I almost collapsed because there was nothing unprovoked about the slightly lower body temperature and seductive scent that came from behind. He led me to the table as if escorting me, and before I knew it, we sat face to face. On the table was a bottle of wine with a beautiful pattern engraved on it, two glasses and a fruit and cheese platter. He was drinking. ¡°¡­.Now you called me when you were drunk?¡± And this was my first word. Somehow, the words came out in a rather rough tone. Alan just laughed like the wind. ¡°It¡¯s not because I¡¯m drunk.¡± A faint wave of light flickered over his pale cheeks. The sight completely disarmed me. When I met him, I couldn¡¯t remember what I was going to say or the expression I was going to make. I was so nervous and hot-headed, but Alan just seemed calm and cool. His relaxed and elegant appearance was no different from his usual self whereas I¡¯ve been thinking about everyday for the past month. I felt a sudden pang of sadness. I mustered up the most venomous look and voice I could. ¡°¡­¡­If you brought me here, shouldn¡¯t you have at least some level of responsibility? No matter how busy you are.¡± It was quite aggressive and reprehensible to me. I was embarrassed belatedly because I didn¡¯t think it was something to say with the bouquet I received from him in my arms, but there was no reason to stop here, so I quickly added another word. ¡°I wrote a lot in my novel while you were away. Getting ready to leave here¡­¡­.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Instead of answering, Alan quietly pulled the corners of his mouth up. ¡°It¡¯ll¡­¡­ be good.¡± It¡¯s a lie that I wrote a lot for my novel, but he wouldn¡¯t have noticed, would he? The part I¡¯m writing now is when Troy suddenly disappeared without a trace one day, and the main character¡¯s sluggish monologue continued. But now that I¡¯ve met Alan again, I think I¡¯ll be able to write a lot tomorrow.¡­. Come and read on our website wuxia worldsite. Thanks ¡°Do you want a drink?¡± Alan asked, pouring the wine into an empty glass and putting it in front of me. The gentle smile, and the straight, long fingers still wrapped languidly around the bottle neck, were so beautiful that I was grumpy again. ¡°¡­¡­I don¡¯t drink. Don¡¯t avoid answering.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°If you were going to completely forget it just because you were a little busy with work, from the beginning¡­¡­!¡± Then he swallowed a sip of alcohol. It was just the liquid had simply passed inside the throat, but the slightly raised chin, closed eyes, and the sound of swallowing alcohol were too erotic. Does Alan know what he looks like right now in my eyes? Of course, he doesn¡¯t know, but in order not to be caught, I hurriedly shifted my possessed gaze to the table. Then, I gently put down the bouquet to where my gaze touched. Then Alan said, ¡°It wasn¡¯t just about work.¡± ¡°Do you call that an answer¡ª¡± ¡°I¡¯ve never forgotten.¡± At his words, I raised my head. It was a purely unconscious act. The wind knocked the shawl around my shoulder to the floor, and Alan grinned softly with his wet lips. ¡­¡­I¡¯m embarrassed. I closed my eyes tightly. At that very moment, it occurred to me that I had to apologize for the abusive words I spouted before. Although I¡¯m still not convinced that Alan didn¡¯t hurt Tobias yet, ¡ªYou¡¯re no different to a murderer¡­¡­. If I didn¡¯t intend to apologize for saying that, I shouldn¡¯t have answered his call in the first place. If I still hate him so much, it doesn¡¯t make sense to sit face to face like this. ¡°What I said last time¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Melissa.¡± But Alan cut me off. The cool eyes were deep. The moment our eyes met, my heart that had been trying to fight against him with my humble pride melted away like snow. In fact, there was no chance of winning from the start. ¡°Remember when I said I was weak?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Of course I remember. Even that night there was a glass between us. I begged Alan to let me send a letter to the kingdom, and he refused too lightly. I shot back angrily, saying he just enjoys bullying the weak. ¡ªThere¡¯s one thing you¡¯ve overlooked, That¡¯s when Alan, obviously, answered that. ¡ªI¡¯m the weak, Melissa. So I want you to feel sorry for me. I don¡¯t know how overwhelmed I was. He¡¯s never been in, or near, the weak in his life. I¡¯m the one standing against the weak. I was purely outraged as one of the weaks. Alan told an incredible story as he was forced to crumple his brows again. ¡°Actually, I¡¯m an orphan. Without a family.¡± ¡°¡­¡­What are you¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I mean I was adopted.¡± He¡¯s not an illegitimate child but an adopted child? I couldn¡¯t even think of closing my open mouth, but I was just looking at him. It was unbelievable, but his eyes were too deep and distant to be considered a joke. ¡°I was five years old when Ian Leopold picked me up. I used to believe that I got my lost father back, but soon I realized that everything was a lie.¡± ¡°That¡­.¡± ¡°I¡¯ve been looking for my parents like crazy ever since. Without anyone knowing.¡± As he said so, Alan lowered his voice as if it were a secret story. His voice, which was already low, became deeper and more secretive. (T/N: the POV shifts to Alan) Did they really abandon me, or was there an accident? When I was young, it was more important than anything in the world to be convinced that I wasn¡¯t abandoned. Well, actually, I didn¡¯t know I was abandoned. I was hoping it was due to some unavoidable circumstances. I didn¡¯t know the name or location of the orphanage where I was. When I finally went out to the outside world, I had to climb into a large carriage without even having to appreciate the scenery. I became relaxed and fell asleep right away. And as soon as I got out of the carriage, I became Alan Leopold. In the meantime, it wasn¡¯t enough to search all the orphanages in the kingdom, so I went to the slums across the country. It is quite common for beggars to abandon or sell their children. However, I still haven¡¯t been able to find any traces of them, probably because they aren¡¯t normal people. That¡¯s why I¡¯m so eager to do charity work even when I come to the Principality. The reason why I didn¡¯t run away, cursing the family even though I knew the truth, and I lived as a faithful successor, was to get revenge. That¡¯s all. Because I can¡¯t forgive the man who tricked me into being a chess piece, the arrogant man who made my life his medal. To break him down in the most perfect way. Read latest Chapters at Wuxia World . Site Only Alan smiled self-deprecatingly after the story. His smile broke my heart. ¡°What do you say, Melissa?¡± He whispered. ¡°Do you feel sorry for me now?¡± ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? Chapter 93 ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? Alan¡¯s sudden story was completely unrealistic. It was not unreasonable to think that he was lying. I don¡¯t think I¡¯m being heartless. I¡¯m sure anyone who knows the name, Leopold of Sourne, would react the same way. ¡°¡­¡­You¡¯re just complaining.¡± So this is the only answer I can give back to Alan when he asks if I feel sorry for him. ¡°Even if the story is true, you are Leopold¡¯s only successor after all. I suppose if you bring together people who want to exchange their lives with you, you can build a kingdom. How could I feel sorry for you?¡± Then Alan smiled with his eyes down. I thought he would refute it somehow, but I felt strange because there was no response. Was it a joke? But I didn¡¯t feel any playfulness. ¡°You are¡­¡­ arrogant.¡± I didn¡¯t want him to see me as a more naive and ordinary woman, no matter what, so I decided to add a few words. ¡°That¡¯s why you don¡¯t like to mix with people, I guess.¡± Some people said that Alan Leopold was stern. Actually, I also liked that he didn¡¯t like to talk loudly with people or get tangled up with gossip. Of course, he was cold-hearted even to the young girls who flirted with him, so I¡¯m sorry for the women, but from the point of deeply unrequited love for Alan, it was unbearable. I was waiting with bated breath for his answer to follow, but Alan suddenly rose. I was suddenly frightened. It was because I remembered that he had previously walked away and left me on the terrace. I wondered if the same would happen in the bedroom and I was nervous. I didn¡¯t want to part ways like this. I don¡¯t know when we¡¯ll meet again, but I don¡¯t want to say goodbye with hurtful words again. I¡¯m afraid of the countless nights I¡¯ll be forced to sleep waiting for him to come back¡­¡­. ¡°That¡­.¡± I don¡¯t know if he¡¯ll believe me or not, but just as I was about to bite my lips to gloss over it as a joke, I forgot what I was going to say when I saw Alan¡¯s back toward the bed, not by the door. ¡­¡­What is it? Are you trying to sleep with me sitting here? You want to show me that my words don¡¯t matter at all? While some absurd thoughts crossed my mind, Alan picked up something from the bedside table and came back to me. ¡°This is¡­.¡± What was held out in front of me was a black and long box surrounded by a wavy pattern of gold frames. ¡°Present.¡± ¡°¡­¡­Do you mean there are flowers in here?¡± Alan laughed when I softly asked back in a silly voice. ¡°It¡¯s similar.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± It must have been a joke to say that it contained something like a flower, and it was a box that could contain something like a fancy quill. Come to think of it, getting a pen from Alan wouldn¡¯t be like a dream. Anyway, because he likes my writing¡­¡­. I picked up the box with a stunned face. Then I looked up at the blue-gray eyes that looked down at me before I opened it. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± The box opened with a cheerful click, and I froze for a moment at the appearance of an object that I had never expected. ¡°It¡¯s an item from Hwa. I¡¯m late in delivering this.¡± The identity of the gift was a graceful ivory-colored bar. It was tapered at one end, and on the other, pale pink flowers¡ª perhaps rose stones¡ªwere delicately glittering. I felt as if I had received a small cherry blossom tree as a gift. I was seized with the idea of getting my hands on this beautiful craft right away. As if possessed, I took it out of the box and carefully squeezed it, and the cold surface was surprisingly smooth. ¡°It¡¯s called binyeo[1].¡± ¡°Ah¡­! I know.¡± I¡¯m not lying. I just forgot the name because it¡¯s been so long since I saw it. Hwa was an empire of the East, so there were many cultural overlaps with the memories of my past life. Standing with his arms folded loosely, Alan laughed as if it was funny that I, a Sourne woman, pretended to know a strange object he had brought from the great empire of the Far East. His beautiful smile was wonderful. However, I couldn¡¯t thank him directly for this beautiful gift. It was because I could not guess why he suddenly gave such a gift. Maybe he just wanted to change the subject of the conversation, but¡­¡­. Anyway, I liked this sudden gift and it was true that I knew about the item called a binyeo, so I thought I¡¯d put up my hair in a chignon with this in front of him. It¡¯s just that¡­ It didn¡¯t go as well as I wanted. ¡°Why isn¡¯t it working¡­¡­.¡± I curled my long hair in one hand and held the binyeo in the other, muttering for a long time. Is it because I¡¯ve never actually used a bina before? I¡¯m not really good with my hands, but I thought this was the way to do it.¡­. Alan, who was staring down at me, was sure to think I was nervous because of him. Thinking that way, my face became as red as a ripe peach. ¡°It¡¯s not this?¡± Then, a cool hand approached and wrapped around my hand holding the binyeo. While I was stunned by the soft and gentle touch, the binyeo was already held by him. ¡°You are just pretending to know.¡± ¡°I-I really know!¡± He gently grabbed my hand, which was empty because the hairpin I was holding had disappeared. Alan¡¯s hand was cold, but strangely, where his hand caught was burning hot. It felt as if my heart was moved by that touch. When I came to my senses, we were sitting side by side on the bed. Come and read on our website wuxia worldsite. Thanks ¡°I¡¯ll do it for you.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Alan¡¯s hand grabbed me by the shoulder and gently turned me around. Then he slowly curled up my hair from my back. There was a fine sound of rustling whenever his hand brushed over the rich frill around the neckline. I closed my eyes tightly because this moment was so overwhelming. I couldn¡¯t breathe naturally because my heart was pounding and it felt as if my lungs were filled with a sticky syrup..¡­. To breathe is a natural, subconscious action.. Normally, I would have been unaware of it, but now I was so concerned about it that I couldn¡¯t bear it. I tried to pretend to be calm with my back stiff and tense, but it was not easy at all. I was just entrusting my hair to someone behind me, but I didn¡¯t know why I was feeling thirsty and my stomach was getting hot. As if I am expecting something else¡­¡­. ¡°Ugh.¡± As his fingertips gently brushed the nape of my neck, goosebumps rose up all over my body. It felt like a small animal trembling under the teeth of a ferocious beast. He looks relaxed right now, but I don¡¯t think it¡¯ll be weird if he changes his mind and bites me¡­¡­. His beautiful fingers were moving very softly and leisurely, but there was an indescribable intimidation in the air. Suffocating tension. Taking a deep breath of the alluring scent coming from behind, I shuddered. Light sweat dripped from my palms. Nevertheless, the delicate touch was soothing as a dream, that only the ephemeral thought of wanting this moment to last forever was repeated in my head. Even though it¡¯s hard to breathe and I¡¯m struggling. ¡°It¡¯s done.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Alan, who gently swept my back, laughed. The exposed neck was empty and cool. I had an awkward face, and then I fumbled with my neatly twisted hair and a solid binyeo. It was a pretty good finish without any parts that came out loose. ¡°Do you want to see it?¡± ¡°¡­¡­ No, thanks.¡± I replied bluntly, turning my face that must have been blushing to the point that it¡¯s funny. Then I thought. Why is my heart beating so fast when I just put my hair up? I felt like cream on top of freshly baked scones. We didn¡¯t kiss each other deep enough to loosen our legs, and he didn¡¯t caress me explicitly¡­¡­. In the meantime, a wave of jealousy arose to the point of it being absurd. How does he even know how to do this? Maybe he practiced with the women of the Hwa Empire¡­¡­. ¡°It looks good on you.¡± Alan whispered. ¡°¡­¡­W-what?¡± ¡°You are pretty, Melissa.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I gave this as a present because I wanted to see it on you.¡± Turning back to him with a blushing face, Alan¡¯s eyes were close enough for me to touch. With a bluish early morning sky¡­¡­ The eyes that I love the most in the world. His eyes, which sank exceptionally deep, sparkled with more gleaming light in the dim room. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± We were just facing each other but it seemed all the emotions flowed in. Painfully desperate and affectionate sadness and resignation melted in it. Somehow my eyes got cold. ¡°The reason I didn¡¯t want to mix with people wasn¡¯t because I looked down on them. I was just,¡± Alan whispered softly as he lowered his gaze over my hands, which was clenched so tightly that the nail marks remained. ¡°Afraid of people.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± His big hand slowly loosened my fingers one by one. It was a careful touch as if it were dealing with the most precious treasure. There were no lies in this voice and touch. It wasn¡¯t a trade either. When I realized the fact, my eyes suddenly turned dark. Until just now, I was trembling and thinking of him as a beast, but before I knew it, I felt sorry for him, who was weak, and I was shedding tears. It was the moment when the long-held prejudice was broken. It was none other than me who was arrogant. The reason I¡¯ve been cutting Alan out with my inferiority complex¡­¡­. ¡°Now you know?¡± There was nothing I could do other than hug him hard when he said so. It must be Alan who really wants to cry, but my sad sobbing tears were messing up his shoulders. Alan¡¯s hand, which slowly climbed up my wingbone as if to sooth me, caressed the nape of my neck, then gently pressed it down. ¡°Wait¡­¡­¡± My vision tilted before I could resist. Lying on his chest by accident, I was blinking with embarrassment. But there¡¯s something hard on my legs¡­¡­. ¡°Alan, now¡­¡­.¡± Read latest Chapters at Wuxia World . Site Only At that moment Alan kissed my ear. Unfortunately, with that subtle stimulus, reason and pride melted away in an instant. My heart, beating out of control, had already foreseen something. ¡°What do I do, Melissa?¡± A breathy whisper dissipated. ¡°I can¡¯t endure it today.¡± ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? Chapter 94 ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? Last night, for the first time in my life, I had the experience of being embraced as a woman by someone other than family or friends. I don¡¯t know how much I cried. It wasn¡¯t too painful or unbearable. It was hard, but was bearable compared to what I had imagined. If the question is, why did I cry so much that all the moisture in my body escaped, it was because of Alan Leopold. I didn¡¯t know that this moment would happen in my life. Even in my dreams, there was never a moment like this. We were people who lived completely different lives and were still so different, but last night Alan showed me all of him. Without hiding the deep scars and secrets. How can I explain it? It was brief, but there was a moment when our souls perfectly overlapped. That was the first time, and I don¡¯t think I¡¯ll ever have that experience again. Like young animals who had not opened their eyes yet, we kissed frantically as if we were trying to confirm at that moment, we were holding each other. During that time, there were many conversations exchanged. With our eyes, breath and words, without a break. In fact, Alan was a man who lived with an unrepairable deficiency and an incurable wound. This was a story that I had never imagined in the short time of loving him. Nevertheless, he grew up to a man with a firm and warm heart, he comforted me until the morning came. Although I cried again for that kindness¡­¡­. Knowing Alan¡¯s dark side didn¡¯t change my mind. On the contrary, would anyone believe that he was affectionate, lovely and unbearable? How fortunate was I to have a heart to hug him, with a fragile and anxious sensibility to understand the pain. He made me appreciate myself in an unexpected way. It was an overwhelming feeling that I had never felt before. There have been many painful moments while I was in-love with Alan. The sin of longing for the impossible often drowned me in bitter sorrow and misery. Even when I learned that the unidentified being that frightened me was my old love, I felt an unparalleled sense of despair. Maybe that¡¯s why I¡¯ve always thought of Alan Leopold as my shadow. An inseparable, black shadow that makes me unhappy. Even as I embraced the darkness willingly, I was deeply saddened with every breath I took, reflecting on how pitiful and unhappy I was when I loved him. Then Alan whispered, that I¡¯ve been his light all along. I had to burst into tears again. He was my darkness, and yet I was his light. Why didn¡¯t I know? The reason I trembled even in a handful of shadows was because I was living in a world full of light. Alan, on the other hand, had been in the dark all along. I have longed for and envied his world, which seemed only brilliant because of my own misfortunes and shortcomings, but it was all futile and a one-sided deception. Even though I sometimes thought I loved him more than myself, I was always intoxicated with ecstatic self-pity. What selfish love it was. However, the idea that it was only myself who was lacking remains unchanged. Because the feeling of loving him passionately wasn¡¯t short of anything Ever since I got to know him, there hasn¡¯t been an incontinence hole in my chest. It was so tight that I had to keep my nerves on edge every moment so as not to suffocate from being crushed by that love. But last night, that love overflowed. In fact, it is normal. If the bathtub is filled with water without a little extra space, it will overflow even if you just dip your toes in it. When the heated breathing and the two hearts that were beating as we touched had subsided. We lay side by side in the ecstatic, sweet afterglow. He carefully covered me with a soft blanket, not missing the slight trembling of my body from the sudden chill. Actually, I wanted him to hug me, but¡­¡­ If he did that, I thought my legs would lose strength, so I managed to bite my lips and hold it in. It was questionable whether I would be able to walk back to the annex. I shouldn¡¯t get carried away any more. As I passed through a dreamlike night where I became one with a person whose words of love were not enough, I suddenly realized that I needed to redefine the words I had known about happiness and fullness. I thought they were quite common words, but in fact, I felt like I didn¡¯t understand even half of them. At the same time, I became anxious. I wasn¡¯t sad to give my first time to Alan Leopold, but his first time has never even been mine. It was a strange contradiction that I couldn¡¯t understand myself. ¡°Alan.¡± ¡°Yes.¡± When I called with a cracked and messed up voice, he answered in a very low voice. We weren¡¯t facing each other, but we were still holding hands. ¡°You love me, don¡¯t you?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Say, how could you hug me so preciously when you don¡¯t even love me?¡± ¡°Hmm¡­¡­.¡± Alan sighed dazedly, avoiding to give an answer. There was a gentle laugh in his breath. It wasn¡¯t surprising that he couldn¡¯t even say plausible empty words, but I couldn¡¯t help but feel the rushing ferocity. I murmured, giving strength to the hand I was holding, as if complaining. ¡°No, I wish I hadn¡¯t boarded that ship.¡± Then Alan smiled. ¡°If you hadn¡¯t ridden it, would you have swam to get here?¡± ¡°Swim?¡± ¡°If it wasn¡¯t for that, you wouldn¡¯t have been on it. There would also have been no place that would sell tickets to Melissa Collins.¡± ¡°¡­¡­Ha.¡± I burst out laughing. There¡¯s no one other than him who can say something like this and make it not sound like a joke. ¡°It¡¯s so weird. I don¡¯t understand you.¡± Come and read on our website wuxia worldsite. Thanks ¡°It¡¯s simple. I want you to love me again.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°That¡¯s why I did it.¡± To the question of whether he loves me, he didn¡¯t answer me with empty words, but¡­.¡­. I again put my nails on the back of his hand and whispered viciously. ¡°There¡¯s a bina on the table. You know, right? ¡°Pfft¡­.¡± Alan laughed like the gentle breeze. A low, ticklish laugh like sprinkled sugar. I wish I could hear this laugh more often. For a moment, I had a fleeting thought, how I wish I had been a person who was a little more interesting. ¡°Don¡¯t be angry, Melissa.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± He raised his upper body and kissed me at an angle. My eyelashes got wet with a feathery kiss. Maybe I was alive for this moment. ¡°Love me again.¡± Gently pressing down on me, Alan whispered languidly. The reason why these arrogant words sound sweet like a love confession is purely because my ears have melted. I hated this beautiful villain, but it was so obvious that I had no choice but to love him dearly. I didn¡¯t hate him. Then, pretending to accept it reluctantly, I hugged Alan¡¯s neck and swallowed his petal-like lips. Of course, I could not hide the corners of my lips that were gently curved up. Before long, dawn came * * * ¡°¡­Is he a lizard?¡± I was struck by one question. ¡°What? What did you say, miss?¡± ¡°Oh, nothing, Sandra.¡± ¡­¡­After that morning, Alan completely disappeared. Like a lizard that cut its tail and ran away. ¡°Where did he go, leaving this behind¡­¡­.¡± I touched the smooth glossy bina and murmured. It was sudden that I remembered the touch of a cool finger combing my hair. When his fingertips gently touched the very tense back of my neck¡­¡­. ¡ªYou are pretty, Melissa. My face was heated up again. It was because I remembered the reason why I had to let my hair down again soon after he put it up. It was now automatic that everything that happened immediately after that was repeated in my head. How many times am I rewinding¡­¡­ Even more so because Alan didn¡¯t come back, but it was indeed a night that could be mistaken for a dream. Nevertheless, the reason why I blush after realizing that it real is that the memories of the night remained vivid. I wouldn¡¯t call this a dream. What I vividly remember is, for example, how nicely his eyebrows were frowned while looking down at me, how beautiful his ribs had a wave pattern, and the bottom¡­¡­. ¡°¡­¡­I must be crazy.¡± After engraving all the parts I didn¡¯t know on my eyes, hands, skin and lips, I couldn¡¯t go back before that. I even thought that the longing until now was not longing. It was so painful that I wanted to reach him right away, but I couldn¡¯t. I never thought I¡¯d know how terrible my patience was. It was bearable so far, though. Thanks to this transparent and beautiful perfume bottle. Alan¡¯s perfume on my wrist makes me feel a little better. In the deep night, it feels like walking through a fog into a rose garden in a dream. Even if I close my eyes, I think I can find him only with the scent. Actually, all I got from Alan that day was a bouquet of flowers and a Bina. I asked Sandra to bring this perfume from his room. Of course, he gave it to me as a gift, but he pretended that he had left it behind. It¡¯s been quite some time already, but it was none other than Alan who told me to tell him anything I needed. So I guess it¡¯s okay. Oh, the reason why Sandra didn¡¯t doubt me at all¡­¡­ Early that morning, after Alan and I fell asleep together in the dark air, I opened my eyes when the bright morning sun stretched out like cheese through the window. And he took me to my room in the annex. In his own arms¡­¡­. Read latest Chapters at Wuxia World . Site Only As we passed through the corridor, we encountered countless servants. Instead of letting me down, Alan walked more leisurely, even though I struggled with my legs as I blushed, avoiding their gazes. He even joked that it was his first time leaving the office this late. Sandra, who must have been nervous when she heard that I hadn¡¯t come back, hardened as soon as she saw me in Alan¡¯s arms. I must have been messy, but Alan, who put me down, kissed me on the cheek saying he would go, so the opportunity for a slight excuse disappeared. When I went into the bathroom with a red face and took off my clothes in front of the mirror¡­¡­ I was so surprised that I almost fell down. Was it what Sandra, who had brought bath water, felt when she found out about it? I was very embarrassed at the time because I was not immune to shame, but I still didn¡¯t hate this. I would occasionally stroke the red mark and return to the moment his lips touched. A little wait became bearable. But Alan didn¡¯t come back even when they all faded away. Chapter 95 ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? How was I like that night? Was my expression okay? Was it awkward? What if the sounds I made were weird? Maybe there was something that wasn¡¯t pretty or natural in his eyes¡­¡­. Thinking about this made me feel as if I were wandering in the darkness without an exit. Negative thoughts flooded in, and it was no longer at the level I could handle. ¡®Because he¡¯s not satisfied with me¡­¡­.¡¯ All of a sudden, I was looking for the reason he didn¡¯t come back. His return to the mansion has always been infrequent, hence it was certainly a foolish thought. Nevertheless, there was no way to stop thinking about depressing thoughts. Does he regret telling a woman like me all his secrets? Was it wrong of me to want him in the first place? Then am I being punished? Is he going to cover it up like this? Like nothing happened? I didn¡¯t like it. It might have been just a passing fling for him, but for me, that night¡­¡­ It was the most overwhelming and brilliant moment of my life. So even in the strange pain as if my body was splitting, I did not run away but clung to him. Like the last spark of a life, that got ignited, so desperate. If it could lead deeper, if it could reach the end of the soul, I would be willing to endure even more pain. I opened the beautiful flacon bottle again and smelled his scent. Then I cried like it was all a lie. What if I had ran away from his embrace that night. If that was the case, wouldn¡¯t the nights that he did not return be as disturbing as this? I was definitely able to run away. He was not coercive and I was not reluctant to comply. Nevertheless, the reason the tears won¡¯t stop is probably because I know myself too well that even if I turned back time, even if that moment was our last, I would have opened my arms to him in the end. His hand caressing me was careful and friendly, as if he were dealing with something most precious in the world. It was certainly comparable to love. Alan didn¡¯t answer, but he would have known too. The fact that everything we shared that day was infinitely close to love. It¡¯s just that I¡¯m not his only love. If I had been told the words ¡®I love you¡¯ as a lie, my heart would not have broken this much. I cherished a small glass bottle and shed tears. Your arms were a salvation to me. Because I was grateful for the fact that I was me for the first time that day. Maybe no religion in the world will give me such a rest. Even if your kiss was nothing more than an almsgiving, I¡¯d certainly be a blessed believer. Suddenly, I felt as if I had returned to a day last winter when it snowed exceptionally. He saved me on his own again this time, and after barely realizing it wasn¡¯t a dream, he¡¯s already gone. The overflowing love and the overwhelming emotions that made me lost are the only ones left behind. What a cruel salvation indeed. At that time, the harsh one-sided feeling was so painful that I believed that I had to look from afar to keep it in its most beautiful form. At that time, that distance alone was terrifyingly fascinating. I can¡¯t even imagine that there is something worse than that. Looking back, I may have been dull at that time, but I was filled with only love. So there was nothing to get lost. But now I can¡¯t love or hate him as before, so I keep getting lost. Of course, I have no desire to go back to that time, so it¡¯s all fleeting thoughts. If that¡¯s the case, it would be ridiculous to be more pitiful than this. It¡¯s a contradiction to weep like an abandoned person when I¡¯ve never been his. If the shapeless scent, the jokes of the gentle maid, and the scenery outside the window that were gradually adding color could not comfort me, there was only one thing left. No, maybe this was the only comfort I had from the beginning. My writing. ¡°If it¡¯s Troy¡­¡± If Troy loses her, he will feel a deep sense of loss as if he had lost everything in his life. Even though his character is inspired from Alan Leopold, he is different from the real Alan. Although they make mistakes and hurt themselves because they are clumsy in love, they all lead to character development. He will eventually give her unparalleled love. After overcoming the ordeal, the two will be happy forever in the unchanging love. It¡¯s a story that started just for that. So, I hope this story ends with passionate love. My ideal, that will be more beautiful and dazzling because it cannot come true¡­¡­¡­. Come and read on our website wuxia worldsite. Thanks * * * ¡°Miss!¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± I woke up to Sandra¡¯s cheerful voice. It¡¯s always like this these days. ¡°Did you fall asleep while writing the novel again? You are an unstoppable artist!¡± Sandra playfully sticks her tongue out as she clears the bedside table cluttered with melted candles and the manuscript paper. ¡°I don¡¯t know much about art or literature, but when I see you, I think you¡¯re cool.¡± ¡°¡­¡­Why?¡± ¡°I feel like you¡¯re completely immersed in the novel. It feels like you¡¯re in a different world at that time, so it¡¯s amazing.¡± ¡­¡­That¡¯s because I have no other place to put my mind into. ¡°And recently, you always cry when you write.¡± ¡°That¡­.¡± ¡°I get sad when I watch it, but that¡¯s definitely proof that you¡¯re passionate about the work, isn¡¯t it? It feels like a real artist!¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± It¡¯s not like real art¡­¡­ It¡¯s because I feel sorry for my love. I¡¯m the only one who can cry for my love. Of course, I couldn¡¯t say that, so I changed the subject. ¡°Is it time to eat soon?¡± ¡°No, miss. One more hour left? Seeing you say that, I guess the season has come when you feel like you are getting an appetite.¡± ¡°Yeah, it¡¯s already autumn.¡± ¡°If you¡¯re hungry, shall I bring you a snack?¡± I laughed helplessly at the remark and shook my head. Sandra then opened her mouth with a playful childlike face. ¡°Actually, I brought something you might like more than snacks.¡± ¡°¡­ like?¡± Read latest Chapters at Wuxia World . Site Only As I stretched my body and asked again with a blank face, something popped out in front of me. It was a white envelope. ¡°I went home last night and found out that it was there.¡± [Tobias Miller] ¡°You¡¯ve been waiting for a long time, miss.¡± Chapter 96 ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? I got up like the wind and sat down in front of the reading table. Then I took a breath for a while and opened the letter at once. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± It¡¯s been a long time since I¡¯ve seen Tobias¡¯ handwriting, but his signature round and easy-going handwriting was just like that in my memory. What has changed is that his letter no longer begins with ¡®Dear Melissa.¡¯ Nevertheless, Toby was as sweet as ever. A lonely autumn wind was blowing outside the window, but only the letter containing his words was warm. He thanked me for asking about him and his family, writing that all the Millers were doing well. It is also said that he is living a peaceful daily life waiting for the autumn leaves. ¡°¡­¡­I told you that the autumn leaves in New Ditch are beautiful.¡± When I remembered the autumn of Sourne, which was probably a little colder and lonelier than here, and therefore more beautiful, my heart was touched for some reason. However, I was wondering, but the letter I sent as soon as I heard about the selection from the academy didn¡¯t seem to reach him. Even though there are often cases of loss of letters on the way, I didn¡¯t expect it would be my letter. As it was the first letter I wrote when I found out about the selection, I felt a new sense of emptiness, but Toby delivered a late congratulations in a simple and friendly way. He knew from the beginning that I would make it, and hoped my life of studying abroad would shine like a star¡­¡­. The life of writing in the principality, that longing aspiration, I held in my hands. However, the life of studying abroad, which shines like a star, has already become so distant that it cannot be reached. It¡¯s sad that I don¡¯t resent that fact anymore. The answer came when I asked cautiously about the link between his accident and Alan Leopold. ¡°¡­¡­The mansion must mean this place.¡± In the midst of his busy schedule, the reason why he had to come to the Principality to see the mansion in person was to embody my novel ¨C the scene where Troy imprisoned the female protagonist ¨C makes it a bit far-fetched. Although I¡¯m glad I was able to give Toby timely help thanks to that¡­¡­. ¡°Oh¡­¡­.¡± Alan obviously knew about Tobias when I hung out with him. He sent me a warning letter telling me not to go home with Toby. So apart from Alan¡¯s fine talk sounding very sublime and noble, I¡¯m not sure whether his help to Toby comes from pure good intentions. But whatever the offer was, he did what I could never do. This is a clear fact. To be hasty, I was busy hating Alan. I was so sure that all my misfortunes would have come from his evil plots. I couldn¡¯t really do anything for Toby. I can only sit still in front of the table right now. If it was really meant to cause harm, there would be no need to help. Leopold¡¯s successor is not obligated to directly deal with the accident of a scholarship student. It doesn¡¯t even make sense to say that it was an act conscious of reputation because he asked people around him to remain silent. In the first place, there would be no reputation to raise more than this. ¡°Turns out he¡¯s an infinitely benevolent boss to his subordinates¡­¡­?¡± Whatever it is, the conclusion is one. That the rudeness I¡¯ve committed is so deep that it can never be undone. I was already the worst the moment I made those spiteful remarks Whether it was a humane goodwill, a caring boss, or a reflection on the past, Alan helped Tobias in the best possible way. And to him, I¡­¡­. ¡ªIf you¡¯re a human, you can¡¯t pretend you don¡¯t know. Because you completely trampled his life. ¡ª¡­¡­. ¡ªYou¡¯re no difference to a murderer¡­¡­. Then I thought Alan was silent because he couldn¡¯t bear to explain. Leaving me behind on the must have been an acknowledgment of his own evil deeds. Come and read on our website wuxia worldsite. Thanks Now I realize anew how gentlemanly his treatment was when he left the seat without saying a word. Elegance without unnecessary fuss or anger. At the same time, even the complete contempt given was terribly gentlemanlike So Alan may have just delayed his decision a little bit. Like a gentleman. As the owner of the cage I¡¯m trapped in, he can punish me whenever he wants, in some form. For example, order a meal to be prepared for me only once a day ¡°He could throw me in that cold dungeon if he wanted to¡­¡­.¡± It¡¯s a painful memory to even recall. It seems that the dim medicine energy, the gloomy air adhering to the skin, and the darkness of the basement that shook like black waves seemed to come back to life like a hallucination. Yes, I fully understand that Alan Leopold was not the cause of the accident. I think I know now how he feels about not returning to the mansion for a while after the summer night when we became attentive to each other. How much did he hate me? I¡¯ve been busy hurting him because I¡¯ve been trapped in prejudice. Maybe he didn¡¯t want to see me anymore. However, even after wandering for a long time in this thought, I end up being surrounded by inevitable questions. What kind of feeling did he hug me with? Last goodbye? Maybe he decided that never to come back after all that kindness was the cruelest punishment he could ever give me? Because all my passionate love was discovered that day. Unfortunately, I couldn¡¯t think of a more plausible hypothesis. All the more so, considering how clever and brilliant Alan Leopold was. Looking back, he seems to have always known how I felt pain and how I felt joyous. It¡¯s too easy for him to crush my heart, and to make my poor heart beat again. Not knowing that, I was just looking for a silly reason. I wondered if I was bad or maybe I had disappointed him in some way. It was all noisy inside. It was complex, embarrassing, distressing, guilty, grateful, but still hateful and lovely. The surging emotions collided and pressed down on my chest. It became a little difficult to breathe. But I still hadn¡¯t read the full letter yet. I took my wandering gaze around the empty vase back to the paper. ¡°Toby¡­.¡± So this was the last letter I got from Tobias. A lot of emotions passed by thinking that way. It has never been a long time, but I am grateful that such a thoughtful and warm person stayed a part of my life. I¡¯m just sorry I couldn¡¯t give him back as much as he did for me.¡­. In the end, the feelings I felt for him were gratitude or guilt, never for a moment was love. The fact made my heart ache. It¡¯s a lie if I didn¡¯t try to love Tobias. I planned to go on a trip with him, and secretly imagined my future with him. Quite a few times But nothing was love. The time with him was obviously beautiful, but I didn¡¯t miss any of those moments terribly. I couldn¡¯t be so indifferent to the unwavering affection and consideration of the person who loved me even though I was trembling and crying at every expression and word of my loved one. It¡¯s a terrible contradiction. It would have been better if it had been sent earlier. But even though I knew I couldn¡¯t fall in love with effort, I insisted on not letting go of him. His unrequited affection and warmth were just comfortable and warm. I can¡¯t even wrap this up with the word clumsiness. It¡¯s disgusting. Will those warm words of encouragement and blessing be enough for me? Read latest Chapters at Wuxia World . Site Only I can¡¯t even imagine how he felt while writing this letter, but I was grateful to him for not telling me that we should be close friends. Of course, I won¡¯t reply, so I¡¯ll never know how he feels forever. I hope he will never forgive me like this. I shamelessly put my hands together in my seat. So to speak, it was a kind of prayer imitation that relied moderately on the faint memories of my past life.Closing my eyes and reciting clumsily, a sham prayer that is doubtful whether there will be a god to listen to. But I prayed from the bottom of my heart. May Tobias someday find a love who would love him just like he does. May his future as a pastor in New Ditch be at peace, God, if you really exist, please protect him now. Before I knew it, the sun was going down without a sound. A flashing sunset glimmered in the window. It was a fiery red color. When I put my trembling hand on my trembling chest, the helpless emotions flowed out in a slow sigh. It was that evening that Alan Leopold reappeared in the mansion. Chapter 97 Chapter 97: I¡¯m Going Crazy ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? ¡°With all due respect, Sir Alan.¡± Even though it was a regular weekly meeting, there was an unusually heavy atmosphere in the conference room where Alan Leopold and six executives had gathered. ¡°Why don¡¯t we withdraw at this point?¡± ¡°Well.¡± The sudden downturn in the office¡¯s atmosphere coincided with the complete withdrawal of Leopold¡¯s Lunoa division from the railroad investment, precisely because of the unanimous vote of the Principality¡¯s Parliament. ¡°After all, it¡¯s better to go back to our country¡­¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I feel the same way, sir.¡± After a moment of silence, the two men spoke. It was not unreasonable for Leopold¡¯s executives, who had followed Alan into the Principality, to come out like this. The purpose of coming to the Principality of Lunoa was because there was a railroad investment which was in its final stages. That was definitely the reason why they decided to establish a business unit here in the capital of Lunoa, not anywhere else. The blueprint to successfully expand the business in Lunoa and secure Leopold¡¯s position outside the kingdom was based on the success of the railway investment. Even that success wasn¡¯t just a matter of time. A scandal broke out between Alan and Brigadier General Riemann, to be exact, his daughter. There was no disgrace like this because it was even published in the newspaper and caused a lot of stir. Alan Leopold was a truly respectable leader. Not only did he lead all the work himself to stabilize the business with his natural insight, but there was no one who did not acknowledge him who struggled day and night to please the old foxes. He made a mistake because he couldn¡¯t soothe a woman¡¯s heart. The young boss, who was expected to be a leader of Sourne¡¯s top businessmen by everyone, no longer has a way to turn a blind eye to the bud of dissatisfaction that grew through the cracks of solid trust. Indeed, his story with Marcela was nothing compared to the devotion Alan had put to the business so far, but he caused the worst of it with his absurdly poor response. This was an inexcusable big loss. Nevertheless, he ignited the controversy even more with an attitude that showed no remorse or showed no sign of correcting the incident. Some of those who praised Alan¡¯s natural prowess and leadership began to click their tongues, linking his young age with childishness, others were no different. If they lose any more points here, everyone will turn relentlessly. Basically all of these people are businessmen. ¡°What do you think, sir?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Alan was briefly silenced by the six gazes directed at him. The night when he rejected the proposal of Marcella, who was no less than the leader of the Duchy,in a rather rough way. Everything had already been foreseen since then. Nevertheless, the cancellation of the investment was an unbearable humiliation. It was all the more so because he had lived a life where absurd exclusion could not exist. The real problem, however, was dozens of subordinates who had moved together to the Lunoa division. Alan made a mistake that greatly demoralized his employees. It was only natural that an indescribable sense of disappointment struck the new business unit, as he had to miss the investment that is equivalent to the goose that lays golden eggs right in front of his eyes, for absurd reasons. The practitioners, who had enjoyed many things under Alan, believed in his determination and followed him all the way to the Principality. However, at a time when patience was running out due to living in a foreign country, even the future of the business, which was the only support, became uncertain. They were shaking like a ship in a storm. ¡°You¡¯ve done enough to prove your competence. There¡¯s no problem going back to the kingdom and continuing it.¡± ¡°That¡¯s right, we lost the backbone of our business, but to hold onto it more in the Principality¡­¡­.¡± At that moment, Alan, in a low voice, finally opened his mouth. ¡°My inexperience has troubled you.¡± The courteous apology stopped the uproar in the hall. Alan spoke, making eye contact with each of the executives who waited impatiently for the words to follow. ¡°Without excuse, it¡¯s all my fault.¡± This was the worst crisis that the new business unit he led was facing, and it was the most urgent task, above everything, to correct the fallen prestige and silence the resentment of the employees. The director of this division is himself, not his father. In order to reassure the staff, he must stand up first. However, Alan had no intention of withdrawing the business unit as it is. This was the cornerstone for the later swallowing of Leopold as a whole. Did he not go through a long time of hard work and struggle to stand in this position? It was impossible to back down without any results. ¡°At a time when the investment is already out of hand, I thought about what attitude would be most constructive as a director. I decided to view this situation as a kind of strategy of taking one step back for two steps forward.¡± ¡°Strategy¡­.¡± ¡°There is always a way. That¡¯s my belief. At the moment, I think it¡¯s the most appropriate response to change the course.¡± ¡°¡­¡­Instead of presuming that the investment has left your hand, how about making an effort to make up for it (to Marcella)?¡± At that time, one of the executives couldn¡¯t resist and spoke. ¡°This has made us realize how fragile the parliament of the Principality is. If we do what the parliaments want, the withdrawal of this decision might be as simple as the decision to restrict investment. What do you think?¡± This middle-aged gentleman was clearly demanding to go according to the will of Brigadier Riemann. Moreover, the tone was strangely authoritative, as if trying to guide a young superior. In fact, the intentions of the other five were not particularly different. Even if he had Leopold¡¯s blood, he was only a 20-year-old young man. Until now, they had been supportive of Alan¡¯s possible succession, but it was not unreasonable to lose the successor¡¯s position if he continued this reckless move. ¡°I have no intention of going back on that matter.¡± ¡°No, do you mean you don¡¯t have any regrets after all that personal matter caused this much damage?¡± ¡°Nothing.¡± It was a polite but firm answer. The executives were flustered with embarrassment. ¡°Huh, it¡¯s true that there¡¯s a woman whom he has been hiding¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Shh, he can hear you.¡± Come and read on our website wuxia worldsite. Thanks They lowered their voices hastily. It was not that Alan was not qualified to ask the executives to explain the issue, but he was reticent because he knew the news had been reported to the kingdom. It would have been a judgment that there would be no need to blush. The fierce rebuke from Leopold¡¯s head will soon be placed on the successor¡¯s table. However, the discontent that began to grow once spread like fire. Close aides were always sceptical of Alan¡¯s charity work in the Principality, and now there was no reason not to express outright animosity. ¡°Then, from a strictly strategic point of view, of course, the charity work would be stopped, right?¡± ¡°I think it¡¯s self-supporting to insist on an incomeless charity in this situation, Sir Alan.¡± ¡°We support charity work in our country, but here in Lunoa¡­¡­.¡± Five executives, except the youngest executive, took turns talking bitterly. Even if he was the son of a great family, he was a foreigner here. Even though he was unfairly excluded by the law improvised by Parliament, he could not even express his injustice because he was not a citizen of this country. With resentment, the charity work should be stopped, but executives had no choice but to click their tongue as the young head was increasing the support for the poor and orphans of the Principality. It is unbecoming of an entrepreneur to devote time and money to good deeds that would do nothing good. In Lunoa, where there was nothing more to gain, this kind of service would have been less than low-quality self-comfort. Under this circumstance, it was only natural that there was a joke that Alan Leopold had become a toothless lion due to the shock of missing the railroad investment. When these backbiting stories were circulating, rumors about his secret lover also appeared, and Alan paid no heed to them. But he was stubborn. ¡°There is no going back to the kingdom.¡± ¡°What does the Lunoa division without railroad business mean! Enough of the jokes, let¡¯s finish it.¡± At last the executive raised his voice. Alan, who threw a silent look at him, just shed a small laughter. How did I get here without going crazy? ¡°I¡¯m just looking farther away than I¡¯m about to see right now. Charity is also part of the plan, and it will prove that this judgment is not wrong. You just have to believe.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°If you have any other questions, I¡¯ll answer them here now, so ask.¡± Despite being attacked outright by the executives, he was straight and elegant without a fault. It was such a noble look that they even felt relaxed. As if he was born just to reign. Even at the young age of twenty, the one mistake he made suddenly becomes irrelevant. ¡°Maybe that rumor¡­¡­.¡± Then one person managed to open his mouth. ¡°I heard that the reason for rejecting Lady Marcella was because of another woman, but she¡­¡­.¡± ¡°It is true that there is a woman I am seeing. Aren¡¯t I in my prime?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Of course, it¡¯s not to the point of ruining the business. For now, I¡¯m going to make up for the current situation by strengthening the trade side. I¡¯m confident.¡± Alan¡¯s blue-gray eyes, which naturally turned the topic, gleamed sharply. ¡°If you don¡¯t trust me, you can go back with your luggage right away.¡± His performance in the Hwa Empire was convincing. In fact, Alan was a model for all employees, and there was something that made them want to believe that he would quickly regain his reputation as an unexpected variable after being excluded from the investment that was the heart of Lunoa¡¯s business division. It was strange for a young man who had not lived half of his life to have this kind of heart. ¡®As expected, is it because he is a Leopold?¡¯ The businessmen, who had calculated the gains and losses, decided to watch their young superior a little longer. No matter how wrong it was, Leopold¡¯s name was behind him. There would be nothing to lose by delaying the task of defining his attitude. While several more regular meetings were held, busy days continued as usual except for the return of the two executives to the kingdom. It was the day before the inspection of the border area where the traders of the principality were gathered. A young servant came to Alan¡¯s office. He was reviewing the agenda with the two executives. ¡°Excuse me¡­¡­ m¡¯lord.¡± ¡°Can¡¯t you see we¡¯re in a meeting?¡± The executive who handed over the documents scolded him sternly. But the servant stood restless. ¡°What¡¯s going on?¡± When Alan asked reluctantly, he staggered over and whispered in his master¡¯s ear. It was shortly thereafter that Alan¡¯s brow, which was listening in silence, was badly distorted. ¡°Sir Alan? Did anything¡ª¡± Read latest Chapters at Wuxia World . Site Only ¡°I¡¯m sorry, but I¡¯ll take my leave first.¡± When the two men closed their mouths under sudden pressure, the servant hurriedly came up with a coat and helped him him prepare. Alan¡¯s lips twisted coldly toward the door. ¡°¡­¡­I¡¯m going crazy.¡± ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? Chapter 98 Chapter 98: Overcome This Ordeal ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? T/N: pov shifts to Alan and then Melissa and again to him ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? All the way to the mansion, Alan had a hard time quelling the rising anger. Indeed, even when his plan that he had worked hard for a long time faced a crisis, or when he witnessed the change of heart of his loyal subordinates, his judgement was not as distorted as compared to right now. Melissa Collins. Obviously, the first time she was nothing more than a rag. Something small but oddly nerve-wracking. The woman, like a delicate flower, looked fragile and hazy, as if she would crumble if held tightly. However, she developed her presence without permission, and she began to seep into him on her own. He thought it was a quick passing sun shower, but before he knew it, he was soaked. He had to admit it now. He can¡¯t think of Melissa Collins as a book or a painting that he looks into from time to time. To regard his interest towards her as a hobby was nothing but petty self-deception. No one calls this a hobby. It was true that she was a woman close to an art which he didn¡¯t want to take his eyes off for a moment. The same was true for her words, writings, expressions and every sound she made. Art is, after all, the sublimation of desire, and humans gain comfort and inspiration by enjoying it. But the problem was, he came to rely on her more than just getting comfort. There¡¯s an increasing amount of time that he can¡¯t stand if it wasn¡¯t for her. Which was not like him. So he got even angrier. He didn¡¯t even know where the anger was headed to. ¡°Mi¡¯lord!¡± As soon as he got out of the carriage, Alan headed for the detached house and walked across the hall with a rather rough pace. Irrespective of the startled maids running, he opened Melissa¡¯s door at once. ¡°Lord Alan!¡± Sandra, who was standing by the door, screamed in surprise. Over her shoulder, he saw a woman sitting at a reading table staring at him. Before he knew it, Alan went into the room nervously loosening the already ruined cravat. Melissa held her breath in that hurricane-like situation. ¡°¡­¡­Al¡­¡­.¡± It was the first time Alan had looked so disheveled, and she could only bite her lips with her wide eyes in shock. The back of her clasped hand was white. As if she had witnessed some terrifying sight, her trembling shoulders were pitiful enough to incite a strange sadism inside him. ¡°¡­¡­Alan, how¡­¡­.¡± As he got closer, she even dropped her pen. Tuk, as the sound of the pen hitting the marble floor sounded like a signal, Sandra hurried out of the room and closed the door. The door closed with a loud bang. The curious gazes that came from the maids, who were walking around the door and peeping into the room, and the loud noises disappeared in an instant. In a tense atmosphere, the two faced each other. Melissa couldn¡¯t move as Alan, who had always been composed, lost his reason and glaring furiously. She couldn¡¯t even guess what had happened to him. She was just glad he came back, but at the same time she was feeling terrified. ¡°You¡­¡± But Alan said something that she didn¡¯t expect. ¡°Did you send a letter? To him?¡± To him¡­¡­.Melissa murmured quietly. He was probably referring to Tobias Miller. It was this morning that she got his reply. Alan is aware of the fact that Sandra had done it secretly, as if it was natural. Melissa suddenly realized the situation they were in. Whenever she leaves the room to eat or bathe, everything in this room has been closely monitored and reported. Nothing in this can be hidden from the mansion¡¯s owner. As long as you don¡¯t tear it apart and swallow it¡­¡­. The fresh realisation made her toes numb. ¡°Answer me, Melissa. I¡¯m asking you.¡± She managed to say the word with her trembling lips. ¡°¡­¡­Yes.¡± Then Alan couldn¡¯t resist his anger and cursed in a low voice. Her heart thumped uncontrollably as she watched the blue veins popping up over his tightly held fists. As if he was going to punish her cruelly at any moment, he narrowed the distance. There was a clear anger in every breath he exhaled. Melissa was afraid, but she was confused whether this was really fear. How can he be so angry about her sending a letter to a man other than him? In the meantime, she couldn¡¯t take her eyes off the beautiful Alan, even in his angry face. Then he said something strange. ¡°Do you love him?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t make me ask you twice.¡± Alan said in a very voice. His low voice was as cold as the eve of the storm. Under the pressure as if tightening her heart, Melissa¡¯s lips trembled and she lowered her head. ¡°No¡­¡­ Ugh.¡± Then Alan gripped Melissa¡¯s chin. She couldn¡¯t escape his gaze now. ¡°Don¡¯t even think about lying.¡± ¡°I didn¡¯t¡­¡­ lie¡± ¡°So, what secret words did you secretly give and receive from his letters? Marriage? Go back?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Huh? Melissa.¡± His urgent pressure was pathetic at first glance. Melissa¡¯s clear brown eyes opened wide for a moment. Surprisingly, he is now¡­¡­. This is obviously¡­¡­. ¡°Say it.¡± His large hand grabbed her neck. ¡°Do you want to see me go crazy?¡± A slender, white neck. He could break her slender neck like this, or he could have punched her teeth roughly. However, his hand, trembling with anger, only gently caressed her delicate skin. Like dealing with sacred treasures. ¡°Ah¡­¡­.¡± When the cold fingertips, which were moving slowly along the smooth curve, swept her earlobe, a ticklish breath came out. ¡°It¡¯s easy. Don¡¯t do what you shouldn¡¯t do. Was it that hard?¡± Come and read on our website wuxia worldsite. Thanks ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Why do you¡­¡­.¡± Alan growled. His anger sounded grave and desperate. Melissa thought he was like a scared little beast. She wanted to hug him, whom she couldn¡¯t even properly cover with her arms. ¡°Even if you want to go back, I won¡¯t let you go.¡± ¡°¡­¡­Alan.¡± ¡°It¡¯s no use crying and cursing. It¡¯s all because I¡­.¡± At that moment Melissa pulled him by his neck and kissed him. All the words disappeared and even time stopped. Suddenly, Alan noticed the faint smell of perfume on the back of her neck. It had the same scent as his. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Melissa said with her eyes fluttering like ripples of light as her lips fell apart with a very small, soft sound. ¡°Thank you for helping him. And I¡¯m sorry to hurt you with harsh words.¡± It was a gentle whisper as if to soothe a crying child. As Melissa¡¯s hand wrapped around the man¡¯s big hand, Alan slowly knelt down and sat in front of her. ¡°¡­¡­Your effort is commendable but Melissa.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Do you think I will let you go for this?¡± Melissa looked into Alan¡¯s eyes when she heard those words. Jewel-like eyes with a creepy cold color. Then she responded by stroking his night sky coloured hair. ¡°Ha¡­.¡± He was obviously anxious. That¡¯s because of her. To be exact, it may be because of the novel she is writing, but the fact that she also cherishes him made him so unbearably happy that his legs went weak. Melissa managed to hold back her tears. It¡¯s just like a dream. ¡°¡­¡­It¡¯s all right, Alan. There¡¯s no way I¡¯m going back to him.¡± A faint but unguarded voice tickled his ears like a soft feather. ¡°I thought of you the moment I was confessed to by him.¡± Alan felt the blood rushing downwards for a moment. [1] ¡°Don¡¯t worry. I will definitely finish the novel for you. If it makes you feel comfortable.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I think I¡¯ll be happy too.¡± She always spoke as if she was singing. Her pronunciation of his name, her little tongue rolling softly and bouncing, sometimes made him feel unbearable. Alan was frozen between wanting her to keep saying anything and wanting her to stop talking. Softly, her small hand sweeping his hair gently slid down and wrapped around his cheek. It was a friendly and lovely touch as if touching the petals. ¡°Really, I¡¯ll make sure to finish it.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Funny how Melissa Collins seemed to think he was impatient for the novel not being completed. To think that he got comforted by this gentleness. She couldn¡¯t be more naive. It was absurd and so like her that he almost laughed. ¡°I don¡¯t know if I¡¯ll be able to make it beautiful enough to your liking¡­¡­.¡± A beautiful voice like spring sunlight flowed in and seemed to penetrate his body. Alan¡¯s eyes closed as he touched his wrinkled brows. ¡°Well¡­ you know, Alan. God will not give us an ordeal that we cannot overcome.¡± Her lips called his name once again. Like a butterfly flapping its wings, with its tiny flapping red tongue¡­¡­. This is torture. Alan rose suddenly. He couldn¡¯t fall for this small woman again. He can¡¯t lose any more reason. Just then, Melissa added hastily, looking up at his suddenly distant face. ¡°I believe that. So¡­.¡± But she sensed something in his cold eyes. It was a clear passion that was boiling over as if it was going to swallow her at any moment. Hik, Melissa, who held her breath and lowered her head, murmured quietly. ¡°So I¡¯ll make sure to complete¡­¡­.¡± At that moment, something sparkling over her bowed brown hair came into Alan¡¯s sight. It was an ivory hairpin. It was a gift he gave her a while ago. That night, he carefully combed her soft hair up, and he was satisfied with the way she looked better than he expected. And then¡­¡­. Alan shed a low murmur gritting his teeth. ¡°¡­¡­Really?¡± It was no longer a limit. He gave up on denying. Once again, cheeky Melissa Collins, nodded her head with an innocent face. Alan leaned his body down, he kissed the small mole on her cheek, and licked it with his tongue. ¡°Wait¡­¡­!¡± Read latest Chapters at Wuxia World . Site Only He quickly embraced the woman whose shoulders flinched and whispered as he took her towards the bed. ¡°Then overcome this ordeal.¡± It was a whisper that was not relaxed. ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? [1] he got turned on Chapter 99 Chapter 99: We Are Not Lovers ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? ¡°Miss!¡± It was Sandra¡¯s voice that woke me up. She¡¯s as cheerful as ever Alan seemed to have left early in the morning. There was no faint warmth left in the place where he laid. I slept so soundly that I couldn¡¯t even hear him go out, let alone say hello. I could still smell the alluring scent of the rose garden, but I couldn¡¯t tell if it was a mark he left behind or if it was coming from my body. ¡°Good morning. Yesterday¡­.¡± Sandra¡¯s face was inevitably brightened because she strangely put strength on the word ¡°Yesterday.¡± ¡°¡­¡­He left without even saying hello. Ahem.¡± ¡°Is that so?¡± Not long ago, when Sandra found out about the red marks left on my body, Sandra washed me as usual, I wondered if she would be able to ask openly. Nevertheless, it was very embarrassing to see her curious. ¡°Miss, now¡­¡­.¡± Sandra, who approached me and touched my hair, hinted. ¡°You can¡¯t say you¡¯re not in a relationship with the young master, can you?¡± ¡°¡­¡­Huh?¡± ¡°I knew everything. In the end, his sincerity will work.¡± In embarrassment, I couldn¡¯t easily answer. Between me and Alan¡­¡­ We did it twice.¡­ It¡¯s true (that the sincerity worked), but he and I are lovers? ¡°¡­¡­We are not lovers.¡± I watched helplessly as Sandra¡¯s face was stained with disappointment and wonder at the words. What can I do? He didn¡¯t promise me anything, he didn¡¯t make any oaths. Of course I didn¡¯t ask for anything either. Because I was afraid of the answer that would come back. In fact, this is not always possible only between lovers. And I¡¯m not miserable or sad even if we¡¯re not lovers. Rather¡­ ¡ªMelissa. I was so happy that I couldn¡¯t breathe. ¡ªI can¡¯t breathe, Melissa. I had thought countless times that I wanted to become him and hug him, even for a single day, but the moment my heart touched his, I had the illusion that I was Alan and he was me. That¡¯s how much we¡¯ve completely melted into each other. What if it¡¯s not a privilege to see his cold, flawless skin like the surface of a plaster statue wet with light sweat, and to hear his noble lips calling my name like begging? As I drank sweetly the delights he gave me, I thought, will I be able to experience more than this in the future? Maybe I can¡¯t. I can¡¯t help but feel a little scared when I think about it like that, but¡­¡­. ¡°Even if he¡¯s not my lover, he values me.¡± Still, I smiled brightly. ¡°That¡¯s for sure.¡± He cherishes me not because I¡¯m Melissa Collins, but because I¡¯m a woman. He¡¯s a gentleman. Maybe I¡¯m not the only one who hugs and kisses him. I don¡¯t know his daily life except when he comes back to the mansion very occasionally. But I decided not to think about it. Just monopolizing him for a moment is enough to die for. Let¡¯s just focus on savoring the happiness that lingers like an aftertaste. It would be nice if I could capture this feeling in the novel. When I thought this far, I felt rushed. Memories tend to fade little by little as time goes by. So I needed to hurry. The moment when this feeling is most vivid is always the present. So don¡¯t stop the pen, Melissa. Oh right, I have my own ritual that I do before I write. I always make sure to wear his scent before sitting in front of the manuscript. The hairpin resembling a cherry blossom tree was placed where it could be easily seen. It was to imagine looking at his expression and feeling the moments I felt his faint breath while writing. Sometimes I gently patted it too. I wrote down the letters one by one. Eventually, the two people in my novel also confirmed each other¡¯s feelings. They will soon become lovers. My heart was fluttering with no regrets. ¡®Because this place where you are is my home.¡¯ ¡°¡­¡­Ah.¡± Like a person who has no intention of conserving manuscript paper, mistakes have increased these days. It is because I only have to refer to what had happened between him and me, but I inadvertently write down everything. ¡°This place where you are is my home¡­..¡± I read it aloud for nothing, before I drew a black line over the few lines where Alan had appeared instead of Troy. It was such an ecstatic statement that I was afraid of whether I would hear it. I may not be the only one to hear it, but I cried a little because it was so overwhelming that it was hard to describe. Come and read on our website wuxia worldsite. Thanks Even if he doesn¡¯t feel the same way as me, he values me. It was the only thing that was certain. Was it in his plan for me to learn about this? It¡¯s a shame if it wasn¡¯t meant to be, but he¡¯s completely caught. Alan tried to never hurt me. His eyes carefully examined my face when I made a small noise, and his hands loosened when he held me. So I tried to stay as quiet and calm as possible throughout my time with Alan. Because I wanted him to crave me a little more, and I didn¡¯t want him to put up with that clumsy feeling. Of course, it was almost impossible to pretend to be calm by his side, but¡­¡­. Anyway, he treated me like a sugar cookie that crumbled at the slightest touch. His eyes were so passionate that he could burn me to ashes right away, but sometimes he was overbearing and arrogant, but his touch was different. Especially those lips¡­¡­. While I was eating, drinking tea, I automatically remembered Alan when something touched my lips. The sweet touch that his red lips had on me. Then, my fingers will become numb, and I would feel nervous as if I were walking on clouds. This alone was difficult to get used to. ¡°What kind of conversation do you have?¡± Sandra¡¯s curiosity showed no signs of stopping, which was a big deal. On my way back from eating¡­¡­. Now she doesn¡¯t hesitate to ask about my and Alan¡¯s story. ¡°It¡¯s a long night. What are you talking about for a long time?¡± ¡°¡­¡­You didn¡¯t read my novel secretly, did you?¡± I was just writing that part. ¡°What? Did you write that? Can I see it?¡± ¡°¡­¡­No.¡± ¡°You¡¯re so mean, miss!¡± The way she pouted her lips like a sparrow made me smile. It is interesting that this side of Sandra is starting to feel less and less insignificant. As a maid who knows Alan¡¯s childhood, she must be both proud and curious that the master, who was a little boy, has grown into a handsome man. ¡°There¡¯s nothing special about the conversation¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Oh my! You don¡¯t even have time to talk? Oh my, oh my!¡± (T/N: she¡¯s is indicating that they were so busy with *ahem* that they didn¡¯t even have time for conversation) ¡°¡­¡­¡­I feel like a fool.¡± Sandra let out a small laugh as I complained softly. I quickly continued with a nonchalant vibe. ¡°I guess things aren¡¯t going well these days. He looked tired.¡± ¡°Oh, that¡¯s true. There was a buzz in the newspaper not too long ago.¡± ¡°In the newspaper?¡± Sandra had serious eyes when I stopped and asked back. ¡°Yes! There was a lady who was flirting with the young master and he had a conflict with her¡­¡­. Didn¡¯t you hear the details?¡± ¡°No, I don¡¯t know much about business. I just said I wish he could come more often, and he said he¡¯ll try.¡± His voice is so deep and mellow that he sounds like a pushover in every word. I love the words that he speaks of effortlessly. ¡°It¡¯s good.¡± ¡°That¡¯s right. That¡¯s such a good thing.¡± I hurried my steps to get out, gathering my voluminous hair to one side. It is because I can take a walk in the garden after that day. It was natural that walking in the garden became a daily routine after eating. ¡°You¡¯re going for a walk, aren¡¯t you? I¡¯m going to clean up the cluttered clothes.¡± ¡°Yes. See you later, Sandra.¡± Of course, guards stood guard at the main gate, but it didn¡¯t bother me much. I wouldn¡¯t have gone out even if there weren¡¯t any guards standing there. Finally, Alan started to open up to me. One day, we might be able to walk hand in hand even on the sunset street of Lunos, not in the bedroom. If that day comes, he might end up telling me. I love you. I¡¯m sorry to have kept you waiting so long. I strode gently over the soft meadows in the afternoon sun. The smell of fallen leaves filling the lungs was just ecstatic. Can I be happy like this? ¡°Are you sure you¡¯re being restrained?¡± I grinned from ear to ear. The sun was not strong, but it was a dazzling day when even the shadows sparkled. Read latest Chapters at Wuxia World . Site Only As a mansion in the shape of an ancient castle, the garden was wide enough to make my mouth open. I didn¡¯t go beyond the big tree looking down from the window of my room for a while because I might get lost if I walk blankly, but today was a nice day, so I wanted to go a little more. As I reached the dense evergreen shrub forest, the smell of fresh trees deepened. It was a completely new place from here. In the sight of small, light green leaves lined up endlessly, I diligently captured the surrounding scenery like a young animal who had just opened her eyes. It was a perfect day just up to here. Beautiful farmhouse garden with beautiful weather that is considered a blessing. Indeed everything. But in the end I had to regret going there. I saw a scene that I didn¡¯t even want to see in my dream. ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? Chapter 100 Chapter 100: The Queen of Flowers ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? ¡°What?¡± The woman¡¯s high-pitched voice shook the fancy parlour. ¡°Does that make sense? Are you not mistaken?¡± ¡°I¡¯m not mistaken. Even this time, in that detached house¡­¡­ He spent the night.¡± Monica chewed her red lips painfully. ¡°Huh¡­.¡± Her mind went blank. Even if something went wrong, it was clear that it was definitely wrong. Monica had come to the conclusion that she had absolutely nothing to care about that woman¡¯s relationship with Alan. Even watching her felt like a waste of time, and she even gave up after a few days. Alan Leopold never even paid attention to herself and the beautiful ladies because of his unique taste. These were the remarks of the prince and he had nailed this fact. That remark once turned her eyes. A sudden impatience arose because Bentley arrogantly said that men understand men well. Monica knew Alan for a long time but didn¡¯t know much about him. She must have been one of the most intimate observers of him but Alan rarely showed his inner self even to her. As a result, she knew neither Alan¡¯s heart nor his thoughts, but instead of expressing her feelings to him, Monica let the world mistake the two for the most intimate of them all. Because that was her only pride and rest. But in fact, there was someone who knew that she didn¡¯t understand Alan¡¯s heart. ¡®That snake-like prince¡­¡­.¡¯ Yes, after all, it was all due to her impatience. The prince hinted that there was a woman in Alan¡¯s mansion, and Monica had to pay the price of being informed. And finally, the information turned out to be true. She wasn¡¯t happy that that night¡¯s humiliation wasn¡¯t in vain. If the prince was wrong, she would be happy to go back to the night when she wanted to rip out that memory. Monica has never been to the mansion since Alan¡¯s fierce warning brought her luggage out. It was because she didn¡¯t want to be hated by the man she loves anymore. So Monica went straight to the mansion after a really long visit and asked about the woman Alan had, and the maids told her that she was an unknown artist and was staying in a detached house under Alan¡¯s sponsorship. Sponsorship. Monica, laughing, ordered the maid to bring her right away, and then fell into thought. It¡¯s true that Alan has been doing charitable work in many ways, but has he ever offered to provide shelter to individuals in this way? Of course that has never happened. ¡®A woman who writes is pretty interesting.¡¯ At that, this woman writes. It was ridiculous to sponsor such nonsense. What¡¯s even stranger is that Alan didn¡¯t tell any of the servants the name of Melissa Collins. She didn¡¯t know why he¡¯s trying to hide that woman so secretly, but the fact that Alan Leopold, no one else, went so far, scratched her nerves furiously. The woman who shamelessly lives in Alan¡¯s house. The absurd excuse of sponsorship has added to the question of whether she¡¯s Alan¡¯s secret lover. He wouldn¡¯t think of marrying that woman who has neither family nor status. ¡®At least, the possibility of him doing skinship¡­.¡­.¡¯ Alan, who she knew, was tired of people as well as women. Work always came first for him. But, as the prince said, she didn¡¯t know anything about the ¡®men¡¯s world¡¯, and in reply, she had nothing to say. To hide a woman in his house in a faraway land where his father¡¯s eyes could not reach¡­¡­. And Monica ended up chasing Melissa Collins, who appeared before her, in a rather gloomy way. She actually didn¡¯t have to use such a rough method, but she wanted to annoy the woman who was standing beside Alan. She couldn¡¯t find any signs of concern, but she couldn¡¯t get rid of her anger. Monica, somehow not relieved, observed her ever since. It was during Alan¡¯s absence from the mansion. But there was nothing special about her. Since he did not seem to have talked about her or the family at all, the relationship could not have been deep and true. She felt some hellish anxiety that Alan might have fallen in love unknowingly because he was so angry about her. But it was all a wet blanket. (T/N: she didn¡¯t had to worry about something that wasn¡¯t a problem) Monica concluded that way. It was a strange thing indeed, but it must have been that Alan had a new hobby of literature. Originally, getting interested in something happens quite often and trivial. All the more so if it¡¯s a light one. Come and read on our website wuxia worldsite. Thanks But what happened in the meantime¡­¡­ Does that mean that the two spent the night, and twice, at that? She had secretly kissed him when he was asleep as a child, but even in those innocent days she had never slept with Alan. Monica was angry at first, then denied, and now she was trying to get to the bottom of it. ¡°Marcela Riemann¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I beg your pardon?¡± ¡°That woman did him dirty, that¡¯s why he¡¯s out of the railroad matter. There¡¯s a red light on the business now.¡± Monica murmured while biting her thin red nails. ¡°Is it because he felt weak because of the shock? That¡¯s why he couldn¡¯t reject her clinging to him¡­¡­.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Yes, that must be the case. He must have been really surprised. Because Baby is more faint-hearted than you think. That¡¯s right.¡± The maid was just staring at Monica, who was muttering wildly. Then Monica got up. ¡°I have to go. The moment has finally come when he really needs my affection¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Miss Monica¡­¡­.¡± Monica raised her eyes irritably as the maid called in a small voice. Red lashes on sapphire-colored eyes stood high as if they were piercing the sky. ¡°Well, Abel¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Abel Maurice?¡± ¡°Yes, it¡¯s been a while since he showed up at the mansion¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Why are you asking me that?¡± Indeed, none of those who served the Leopolds did not know what had happened to them long ago. She should just save her breath. However, the young maid had a good feeling for Abel, so she took courage to know how he was doing. ¡°I¡­ I asked the novelist lady in the detached house, but she said she didn¡¯t know why, so¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I hate to hear about that annoying woman.¡± ¡°¡°Aren¡¯t you aware of Abel¡¯s news? Where he lives¡­¡­.¡± Though she thought that the maid who asked her about Abel Maurice this much was rude but Monica suddenly lost in thought. Abel Maurice was a tutor who taught Monica language and history. Monica personally picked him out of the candidates for a tutor called in by the family. He was the only one who was not an adult yet and he was a man. As time passed, Monica noticed that although she was still a girl, she felt like he was in love with her. It was similar to the story of a poor adventurer who first encountered the existence of a fairy, a flower of God in myths and legends, and was completely fascinated by its beauty, but different in feeling. Surprisingly, it is obviously¡­¡­. Abel, too, seemed confused to feel the same way for a noble lady. After all, he was a boy too, and it was evident that he was struggling to shake it off. But Monica thought it was pretty funny. The fact that a big man is scared because of her alone. So she decided not to throw him out. And her incident with Abel Maurice was also the trigger for her to learn that she could freeze any man she could if she wanted to. Read latest Chapters at Wuxia World . Site Only Since she was a little girl, she had already boasted a mysterious and seductive beauty, and as the years went by, it bloomed like a bright red rose. On the streets of the Principality, there were many men flirting with young beauties under the guise of praise for art, and it was natural for them to hang themselves on Monica Elwood, the Queen of Flowers. [1] The free and open Lunoa society, and her father who gave Monica a huge amount of support and neglect. Under the circumstances, she was free to jump over the fence by deceiving her nanny and servants.And finally, when her curiosity and longing for sex reached its peak, she used her naive tutor.The relationship that began like that lasted quite a long time. Even after she had a lot of lovers, she occasionally looked for him. Once in a while when he was about to be completely forgotten from her memory.Their relationship was one-sided from the start, and Monica never gave Abel Maurice a word. She went to him when she was just miserable about things that didn¡¯t go her way. Then Abel hugged her earnestly as if she were about to die.It was not a bad comfort. Abel Maurice was unhappier than herself, anytime, anywhere, under any circumstances. Overcoming his depression and tears, Monica felt alive, laughing at the desperate and blind affection he gave as if he was obliged to give.Then one day, it was a while ago. Very rarely, she asked Abel about his life. Naturally, the reason she asked the question was to pursue boredom, not to make Able feel differently.Then he confessed. Alan¡¯s calling in and out of his mansion. Even the fact that the woman living in the detached house and he was hired to help complete the novel. In fact, she was only trying to use him as bait to have Alan perfectly, but this was obviously a mercy for Abel Maurice, as the man was living to be of any use to her.¡°I¡¯m trying to help Abel a little bit.¡±I¡¯m going to finally grant his wish, which he was desperate for because he couldn¡¯t give his life to me. ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? Chapter 101 Chapter 101: A Room Without Windows ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? Abel¡¯s eyes widened. Monica Elwood came to visit him, and that too in the morning. ¡°Miss Monica¡­¡­.¡± Elwood¡¯s rose, he thought, was too noble to bloom in these shabby piles of mud. That¡¯s why she always knocks on his door at night when even the moon is hidden. Of course, he never resented or questioned it. It¡¯s just a matter of course and suffocating. ¡°How come all of a sudden¡­¡­.¡± Monica¡¯s beautiful hair, fluttered against the wind like a picture. It was a red and more vivid color than autumn leaves. The scattering hem of her dress smelled like a lonely autumn with a deep rose scent. Sometimes reality is far more distant than a dream. Abel felt an ecstatic shell. ¡°Are you going to keep me standing here?¡± ¡°Oh¡­¡­.¡± A dark beard and tangled hair. Monica didn¡¯t blink an eye even when she saw Abel, who was not as tidy as usual. It¡¯s been a long time since she saw him, but she wasn¡¯t even impressed, so it¡¯s not surprising. ¡°¡­¡­Please come in.¡± The inside of the house was even worse. The room, with windows closed, not allowing a speck of light, was filled with melted candles, thickly hardened candle wax, messy shape, and the pungent smell of ink and papers. Monica sat down, somewhat displeased, on the wooden chair Abel had hurriedly covered with his handkerchief. Her presence in a house which was like a parched woodblock that didn¡¯t feel alive was as seductive and foreign as a flower painted with red paint. The teacup he hurriedly fetched was never touched again after it was placed haphazardly on the old console table. Monica said, ¡°I have a favor to ask.¡± Abel, who took off his glasses, rubbed his eyes. ¡°You have a¡­¡­ Favour?¡± ¡°Yes, Abel.¡± Abel looked bewitched as her bright red hair curled between her elegant fingers in black lace gloves. ¡°You must be writing.¡± ¡°¡­¡­Yes, after many years.¡± It was the anger of the world that was pouring out like countless arrows that broke the gap over the years. He called the woman who takes control over his soul as ¡®The World¡¯. The day she poured out her anger and resentment at him as if her world was about to collapse, part of Abel died forever. From that day on, the remaining part of Abel Maurice, which was still alive, began to write. While eating dried up groceries, he wrote the story of his world blooming like a flower in a room without light. May she no longer be ill, glistening but serene like a glowing, still watery surface. That was the only salvation for himself. ¡°Really? Almost done?¡± ¡°Yes¡­¡­ It¡¯s not a long story, so maybe tomorrow¡­¡­.¡± Abel answered gently, but felt suspicious. She, who¡¯s not interested in his writings and considers it as dust, is now asking about his writings. ¡°What¡¯s the title?¡± ¡°Ah, the title is {A Room Without Windows}¡­¡­ It¡¯s still a work in progress.¡± ¡°A Room Without Windows, huh.¡± The flower-like red lips drew a languid arc. Her lips whispered, Not bad, as the title of the posthumous work. ¡°¡­¡­Pardon?¡± ¡°Abel.¡± Abel¡¯s green eyes flickered anxiously along with the soot from the candle. ¡°Die for me.¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­Miss¡­¡­.¡± Abel doubted his ears. The times when he thought that he would give her his life if she wanted to, passed before his eyes. His heart still remains unchanged. He just couldn¡¯t give it because she didn¡¯t want anything like his insignificant life. ¡°What are you saying¡­¡­.¡± Then Monica burst into laughter. It was obviously an innocent laugh, but with a strangely erotic sound. ¡°I¡¯m not asking you to really die. Were you really going to die?¡± Look at his expression. She murmured and continued to laugh out loud. Then Abel looked at her with silent and serene eyes. ¡°¡­¡­What, will you?¡± ¡°If I have to die someday, I have always wanted to die because of you.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Having ugly feelings toward milady without permission¡­¡­ I thought I¡¯d take it sweetly if you wanted to punish me at any time. If you¡¯re trying to step on me for that reason, I also¡­¡­.¡± Come and read on our website wuxia worldsite. Thanks A desperate soul was imbued with every word that he uttered. Although his words were a desperate and pitiful confession, his world did not shed tears, let alone imitate cheap sympathy. She was just a jewel of insensitive and brilliant eyes. ¡°What a wild coward.¡± With a sweet voice. ¡°Do you think I can do such a thing? You¡¯re mean.¡± ¡°Miss¡­¡± Abel, kneeling in front of Monica, leaned his cheek against her neatly placed hand on her legs. Soon, the rough gloves were wet with his tears. ¡°I only wish for your happiness¡­¡­.¡± His world stroked his dark brown hair, which grew so badly that it soon covered the back of his neck. ¡°So you have to help me.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°That happiness is finally in front of me.¡± Abel sobbed, feeling Monica¡¯s soft touch. She¡¯ll never know how I feel. When I thought about it, I felt like something ugly and old, abandoned on the side of the road. I felt a wind piercing in my bones. But at the same time, I didn¡¯t want her to ever know my bursting despair and even greater passion. May my cruel and beautiful world be full of dazzling and noble things like her. ¡°Please disappear from the world forever. Never again, never to be found by anyone.¡± The flower-like lips uttered horribly cruel words like a song. Abel raised his head and kissed her knee. His tears never stopped. ¡°So the day like this comes to me as well.¡± Now I can use this humble life for you, miss. ¡°I¡¯ll be happy for sure, Abel.¡± ¡°Yes, you must be¡­¡­.¡± Please, as you wish. * * * It has been more than a decade since the cultural properties of the Hwa Empire began to be introduced to the western world. The veil of Eastern culture was all fascinating and fantastic, and naturally fascinated everyone outside the empire. Unfortunately, trade with the Hwa Empire was very selective. This was partly due to the fact that they did not need any supplies or money, but it was largely because they claimed to be descendants of dragons and put a strict ban on shipping policy which happens through the sea. Hwa, who saw itself as the center of the world and the chosen ones, strictly controlled the access of neighboring countries. It is because they believed that the more they mixed with other cultures, the more their culture would fade. However, they were always in short supply because the outside of the empire was already frenzied about imported goods of Hwa. Sourne, who has a giant boss led by the Leopold family, was better off, but the Principality was excited to embrace the great dragon in the east. However, the Parliament, which is absorbed in pretending to be stubborn, did not have the guts to send a special envoy to flatter the Hwa Empire. However, at Lunos¡¯ social club, the object of Hwa has always been praised as the best gift and used for bribes. The elegant pottery and silk cloths, unique tea leaves, and spices from the East were worth the price. Under this circumstance, it was only natural that all the traders of the Principality tried to conduct illegal trade by asking the corrupt officials of Hwa Empire and offering them large sums of money. But the amount of goods available was as small as a speck of dust, and it was a tearful struggle. Alan focused on these traders. He thought of gathering them and establishing a business under his name. Those who were eager to open the door to the Hwa Empire could not refuse to collaborate with Alan Leopold. Alan already had an acquaintance with the upper echelons of that Empire, thanks to the background of his family. Not only that, but Alan was a man with dark hair and an enchanting look that made them feel friendly. Unlike the stubborn emperor, the ten princes and princesses were progressive, and they had a deep affinity for this beautiful and polite foreigner. Unlike other westerners, he treated Hwa Empire as a descendant of the dragon, and he had a deep understanding of the Empire and a straightforward attitude, so there was no reason to refuse. Thus, when Alan Leopold, who started his business in the Principality of Lunoa instead of Ian Leopold from the Sornean kingdom, visited the empire, he was able to return with meaningful results. It was a conviction that one day he could lead the trade between the Principality and the Hwa Empire. Three days have passed since Alan and executives visited the border area where traders are gathered. Naturally, the atmosphere was smooth. Traders rushed to sign the contract and raised their pens. Alan returned to Lunos today after announcing that he was only here to gauge the size of his firm that would be set up, and that he would hold a briefing session in the capital soon. ¡°¡­¡­This may make up for the railway.¡± One of the executives in the business department said in a confident voice as he looked at the proposal, which he did not know how many times he had already checked it. ¡°No. It¡¯s more than that.¡± Alan rose to his feet, answering leisurely. His lips were red with a faint smile. ¡°I am looking above it.¡± The four executives in the conference room looked up at him in silence. Alan Leopold. This young man finally made them want to bet everything on him again. A strange fear and anticipation floated in the air that a little boy, who until a few years ago, was nothing more than an imitation of Ian Leopold, might soon surpass his father. ¡°I¡¯m going in first today.¡± Suddenly, Alan, wearing a black coat, looked around, tidying up the stiff lapel. There was no dissatisfaction in the four pairs of eyes that were still staring at him. Alan walked out of the conference room with a light step, thinking it was worth the struggle for the past three days without going home. Read latest Chapters at Wuxia World . Site Only In the busy and meticulous life of a businessman, three days were close to the speed of light. It certainly was, but the last three days felt so long. Alan realized that his patience was getting weaker day by day. Not about work, of course. Only one person constantly tested his patience, and Alan could hardly win against that person. It hurts his pride, but there are laws like this in the world. The more patience you use, the sweeter the reward. A carriage with a black lion engraved on it was waiting in front of the office. Alan, who ordered the coachman to drive straight to the mansion, got into the carriage. Soon afterwards, as the horses left the main gate of the office and stepped on the boulevard, a carriage approaching there quickly turned around. The carriage with a clear red rose pattern followed Alan¡¯s carriage. Of course, the coachman, who was afraid of Monica, to be precise, the head Leopold standing behind her, drove the horse calmly, as if he didn¡¯t know, and Alan didn¡¯t know it until he got off the carriage. Chapter 102 Chapter 102: She Drowned Me In Her Sea T/N: POV shifts to Alan The reason Alan hurried early in the morning to return to the mansion as soon as possible was to keep his promise to return home more often in the future. He thought that it was indeed fortunate that he had made such a promise. No matter how much winter resists, in the end, just like the snow melts, he also fell in love helplessly. It¡¯s something that makes him smile. How lucky it is to be able to hide his feelings under the pretext of keeping a promise. Actually he wanted to hug Melissa, but at the same time he didn¡¯t want to hug her. But now he realized that the little lake-like woman is actually a sea and deep enough to completely cover him, there was nothing he could do but just to drown in her. ¡°¡­¡­That little woman.¡± When he thought of her sleeping face and slightly open lips, he laughed unexpectedly. In any case, he, who was in a hurry to go home, did not go to buy flowers as usual and ran straight to the mansion. Instead, he thought he would pick flowers that suited Melissa, so he had a horse stand on one side of the spacious garden. The look of the woman with the bouquet in her arms was one of the most impressive and pretty things he had ever seen. The soft hair and eyes, like warm wood and fine soil, matched any flower like a picture. It was her who asked for flowers, but preparing flowers for Melissa Collins was actually a job for himself as well. ¡°Alan!¡± Thus, Alan, who got out of the carriage, doubted his ears and froze. ¡°¡­¡­Monica?¡± Monica ignored him again and came into the mansion. That fact alone made his beautiful brows distorted. He was sure to warn her very firmly that it should never happen again. ¡°Why are you here?¡± Alan said with a chilling voice like a knife. If she, who is like a vicious thorn, hurts the fragile artist he hid in the detached house again, then¡­¡­. ¡°Oh my God, Alan¡­¡­.¡± But it was her sad tears that made him unable to urge her to return immediately. ¡°What¡¯s going on?¡± ¡°Abel is¡­¡± Monica, whose face was ruined by tears, shed tears like jewels. Alan had a hunch that something serious had happened. He asked, taking a handkerchief out of his arms. ¡°What¡¯s wrong with Abel Maurice?¡± It was the name of the tutor Alan gave to Melissa Collins. A man who has been by Monica Elwood¡¯s side for quite some time. He was patient enough to put up with Monica and knew her family well. Moreover, as a writer with his own reputation in the Principality, there was no one more suited to the character Alan was looking for. Not wanting to let go of Melissa Collins, who lit up her eyes while talking about her studies abroad, Alan decided to give her the author from Principality. That was the best alternative he could offer. It was absolutely unacceptable for him to see Melissa leave his side to take boring classes at an insignificant academy. Of course Alan didn¡¯t know there was some kind of bond between him and Monica because he just didn¡¯t really care. Moreover, if he had to attach a man to Melissa, who is as sweet and soft as cream, and as pure as water, it would have been better off with a man who doesn¡¯t have an empty space in his heart. So it was rather a relief. It was true that when he heard that he dared to press his lips down on the thin hand that wrote noble sentences, he had a terrible thought about killing him. ¡°He¡¯s dead, Alan¡­¡­.¡± Absolutely it wasn¡¯t the truth. There were times when he felt terrible about himself. Still, Alan did not consider himself a monster like Ian Leopold. Not yet. ¡°¡­¡­Dead?¡± ¡°Yes¡­¡­ What should I do¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Are you sure? How did you know that?¡± ¡°I suddenly had a dream about the past¡­¡­. The dreams of our young days¡­¡­. So as soon as I woke up, I went to see him¡­¡­.¡± Alan narrowed his brows. Monica leaned her cheek against his chest, sobbing pitifully as she saw his glassy, cool eyes getting narrowed. ¡°Leaving a suicide note¡­¡­. Ha¡­.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°You know, Alan. In the principality I¡­¡­¡­ I¡¯ve always been alone¡­¡­. Because you and dad were at Sourne¡­¡­.¡± Alan Leopold¡¯s life was marked by misfortune that no one else knew, but Monica Elwood¡¯s situation was no different from that. They were the only ones who shared a misfortune that no one in the world could understand. ¡°So¡­¡­ Abel told me¡­¡­.¡± Alan hesitated for a moment when she buried her face deeper in his arms. It was because he thought her cheeks would be scratched by the rough woolen lapel. Then a cold wind blew and Monica trembled, so Alan quickly opened the front of his coat and covered Monica¡¯s back. Only then could Monica hear his heart beat. ¡°I guess I was relying on him more than I thought¡­¡­. What do I do now, I¡­¡­.uh, hik.¡± Alan was a little perplexed to see Monica Elwood crying so pitifully for the first time. ¡°¡­¡­Monica.¡± She was bold, stubborn, and arrogant everywhere, but she acted like an innocent girl only in front of him just like during their childhood. No matter how cold-hearted, and sometimes vicious he was, he remained the same. His own life was too damned for him to be gentle with her, and the memory of his poor childhood to be completely abandoned was revived and weighed on his nerves. Just as Troy without a surname became Alan Leopold, he slowly turned into a completely different person. Throughout the process, Monica stayed by his side. It would be a lie if he had never relied on that unwavering character of Monica. She was the only family member of the man he hated, who couldn¡¯t even be called a sister. Nevertheless, Monica Elwood, who did not receive her father¡¯s surname, had no family. So it was the same that she didn¡¯t become real either. Real things don¡¯t live in the shade. ¡°Alan, what do I do now¡­¡­? Please tell me¡­¡­.¡± The reason why he suddenly feels pity for her in his arms is probably because he remembered two children who were sharing weak warmth against each other¡¯s small backs among expressionless and cold adults. Alan whispered in a low voice. ¡°¡­¡­What can you do? You have to keep living.¡± ¡°I¡¯m scared¡­¡± Alan felt his shirt soaking wet, but he didn¡¯t push her away and still smoothed her hair. It was not as careful as it was when he played with his secret artist¡¯s hair with his hand-picked bina, but it was anyways a soft touch. ¡°You will stay with me forever, right¡­¡­?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Say yes, Alan¡­¡­.¡± His hands, wearing thin leather gloves, were exceptionally friendly, and her dense eyelashes were drenched. She pestered him with a lovely voice, even though it must be hard to hold back her tears. ¡°One day, you won¡¯t disappear from my world without telling me, huh¡­¡­?¡± ¡°I won¡¯t.¡± It was a low answer. Monica hugged Alan¡¯s firm waist with her trembling arms. The thin body was trembling so hard that Alan was forced to hug her a little deeper. ¡°Are you cold?¡± Alan had no intention of taking Monica into the mansion, even though he asked. This mansion is not for her. He was going to lend his arms until the tears stopped and send her back to the carriage. The loss of her was unfortunate, but he had already wasted enough time. ¡°Yes, it¡¯s cold. It¡¯s very¡­¡­.¡± In fact, it wasn¡¯t from acting that her body was trembling this much, and it wasn¡¯t even cold. It was just that the fact that he was finally in her arms was unbearably overwhelming. It wasn¡¯t until Alan Leopold pushed himself away. Monica kept repeating in her mind. How many days have I waited for this to happen, how meaningless nights I had to spend. In exchange for erasing a single, non-existent man from the world, she gained too much. Abel, you came to me for this. It¡¯s a life worth more than you deserve. ¡°So give me a little more hug¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Yes.¡± Monica, of course, didn¡¯t know that the person in Alan¡¯s heart, on which she was leaning on was not her, but the woman who blushed with a bouquet of flowers in her trembling hands. Adjusting her posture so that she can be hugged more comfortably, and about the compassion of her childhood days that was now completely dispersed. ¡°Tell me it¡¯s okay, Alan¡­¡­.¡± ¡°It¡¯s okay.¡± Then the wind blew once again, swaying the branches of the tall tree and dropping the leaves. The sound of someone¡¯s footsteps rustling away was also completely hidden. (T/N: Alan¡¯s POV ends) * * * Just a few minutes ago, I was walking somewhere in heaven. It was the moment I met the masters of heaven that I realized that I was just an uninvited guest to this beautiful paradise. ¡°Alan¡­.?¡± Two people like the red roses were hugging each other affectionately. The way he cares deeply for his noble lady inside his coat was even sublime. Therefore¡­¡­ sad tears burst out of my eyes. I imagine my future with him as I please, while only continuing my past and present with unrequited love. I¡¯ve never been his beloved before. I couldn¡¯t take my eyes off them even though it hurt like my heart was being cut just by looking at them. I stood gazing at them in a hazy, tearful vision. She said they had each other¡¯s first kiss. Regrettably, I had to admit that Monica¡¯s words were not lies. That they will be the only ones who stand by each other for the rest of their lives. ¡ªHug me a little more¡­¡­. ¡ªOkay. I heard a friendly voice. Sneaking a peek at them, I felt uncontrollable sadness and despondency just because they were dazzlingly beautiful. In my humble life, there will never be such a beautiful moment. I can¡¯t have or experience such a brilliant moment in my life. ¡°Ah¡­¡­.¡± It was a distant and helpless feeling that could not be expressed in words of envy and jealousy. When did Alan come back to the mansion? So he was able to come back this early. Since when have they been here¡­¡­. It¡¯s all meaningless now. The desire to shout his name melted and disappeared without me realizing. Suddenly, the clouds covered the sun and the cold wind scratched my cheeks soaked with tears. A sudden chill swept my heart. What on earth was I dreaming about? Then, like a lie, everything was useless. I turned around with my mouth shut. I would really die if I hurt my heart any more. Tears entered my lips and tongue. Grief tastes like salt. So how much sadness is dissolved in the sea? I didn¡¯t know anything. The only thing I¡¯m sure of is the fact that my place isn¡¯t by his side. The soft grass leaves brushing past the ankles were like a dark nightmare. Chapter 103 Chapter 103: She Changes Me Effortlessly ¡ªI understand your sadness, but¡­ Alan pushed Monica, who leaned on his chest, quite patiently, until she couldn¡¯t get his shirt wet anymore. He also spent a considerable amount of time sending her back to the carriage after she stopped crying. ¡ªApart from that, don¡¯t come here. To her crying again, Alan added neatly. ¡ªTell me if you need comfort. I¡¯ll send you a book. Other than that, it was a tender warmth. He didn¡¯t know that the word book hurt Monica¡¯s heart, or to be precise, there was no reason for him to know. He could understand that she is sad because her partner who breathed together with her until she became an adult, shared part of her childhood suddenly left her but he thought he did enough for her. A life that is abandoned by one¡¯s own will is not the worst end. Alan seriously thought so. In a world where there are so many lives that have been lost due to other¡¯s intentions, despite the earnest desire to live, such deaths are so easily spoken of. It was also unexpected that Monica was so sad. Apparently, she neglected Abel Maurice when he was alive. However, as usual, he did not bring up all the words that were in his mind. It was Monica who seemed to be looking for comfort until the very end, but Alan finally managed to get her into the carriage. It is ultimately up to her to relieve her remaining sorrow. Dependency is inherently harmful. Alan, a natural businessman, never paid attention to things that didn¡¯t make sense. It was natural that he had no intention of supporting Monica. It wasn¡¯t his concern whether she overcame her grief on her own or went out to find someone else to soothe her precarious heart. But he was also deeply relieved that Melissa Collins was not a businesswoman. The innocence of hugging him, who is becoming noticeably dependent on her, without calculation. He couldn¡¯t get away from that dazzlingly radiant woman. Does she know she¡¯s neither a pond, nor a lake, but a sea? If he says he wants to be locked inside her forever. He¡¯s sure she¡¯ll blink her eyes slowly and breathe languidly instead of answering. Alan chuckled at her face he imagined. Then he crossed his long legs and sat down without realising that he was smiling. Familiar with the geometric and airtight Sournesian gardens, when he first came to see the old castle he was very much annoyed to see the rustic cottage-style garden. Why is it that the size of this mansion is not even like that of a cottage? He didn¡¯t even want to call this a landscape. If he had been Sourne¡¯s lady who risked her life in the garden, no, even if he had had a little spare time, he wouldn¡¯t have left it like this. However, he really liked this farmhouse-style garden that never loses its shape even if you cut as many flowers as you like. Even a simple bundle of unknown flowers would suit Melissa Collins warmly. She changes him too effortlessly. It¡¯s very funny. As he entered the mansion with a bouquet of flowers he had woven for the first time in his life, the employees followed him like a habit. Alan ordered to go straight to the detached house and call her. As usual, go to his room, take off his jacket, and by the time the simple refreshments are ready, Melissa Collins will also be standing outside the door. He¡¯s sure that¡¯s how it should have been. It was William, the butler who knocked on the door. ¡°That¡­.¡± Exactly, only one person. ¡°She said she wasn¡¯t in the mood to meet you.¡± ¡°What?¡± Alan¡¯s eyebrows wiggled finely. Three days ago in the early morning, she asked him in an apparently sleepy voice. ¡ªI hope you come more often than now. When he replied that he would do his best, she smiled like a snowflake. That¡¯s why he thought she would give him a shy smile, saying, ¡°Did you really try hard for me today?¡± Then he would tell her that things worked out, perhaps thanks to her. Then why¡­ ¡°¡­¡­She was crying.¡± Alan breathed in at the words. The icy blue-gray eyes narrowed. The butler, who witnessed the moment when the feeble anger turned into a strange worry, carefully continued. ¡°Women are¡­¡­ There are times like that.¡± ¡°Times like that.¡± ¡°I mean the times they want to cry alone, Master. In that case, no one¡¯s comfort is welcome.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± So Monica Elwood, who wants him to watch her cry till the end, isn¡¯t a woman? Alan thought it was nonsense, but suddenly thought it could be possible if it¡¯s Melissa Collins. He thought about the emotions of her letters, her shining eyes under her eyelashes, and her red cheeks one by one. ¡°Women live with so much patience that this happens periodically. It happens to my wife and daughters, too.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± But he wondered why the butler was so placating him. Of course, Alan, who is good at showing no emotions, didn¡¯t raise his eyebrows or move his lips. So no one will notice this subtle change in facial expressions. Unless it is the old butler who has been by his side for many years. ¡°¡­¡­What should I do in that case?¡± The young owner asked slowly, with his eyes shining with nervous feelings, which was rare for him. The butler answered kindly, smoothed his gray beard. ¡°Let her have some time alone. But don¡¯t leave her alone for too long. Even if she tells you that she¡¯s not in the mood to meet you.¡± Alan turned away as if he couldn¡¯t understand the butler¡¯s joke. Soon, the delicate hands wrapped in black gloves trembled lightly in the air and ordered him to go out. * * * Until lunch today, I had been chatting with the maid for a long time about the chef¡¯s skill that the mussel dish was delicious and the dessert was excellent. It was also natural that the appetite became stronger and the meal time became more enjoyable than ever. These past few days have been a rare and relaxing routine, and the weather has been clear all along. But tonight¡¯s dinner felt like chewing sand. The salmon dish, which I had said was delicious the last time, was served, but it didn¡¯t pass, so I left it as it was. I¡¯m sorry to say¡­¡­. I had the desire to act casually as if nothing happened, but I have no talent for that. It was painful to watch Sandra squirming all the time, so I sent her back as soon as I finished dinner today. Then, I sat in front of the reading table to write my novel, but I was choked up because I couldn¡¯t continue writing a beautiful scene that I was writing well all long. I was actually projecting Alan Leopold into the male protagonist, Troy, and myself, in the heroine, whose name never appeared. The tickling conversations I had with Alan from time to time also naturally melted into the story. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± It didn¡¯t seem like it could be continued. It was because the scene of the two people I witnessed on a windy afternoon was clearly engraved in my mind. That scarred memory suddenly turned this novel into a love story between Miss Elwood and Alan. After spending so much sweet time with Monica, he called me as soon as she left. My heart felt like it was falling apart from the wretched feeling. Does he know that I was peeking at both of them? What the hell am I to him? I didn¡¯t even want to think anymore. As I slowly closed my eyes, tears that I didn¡¯t know when they were formed flowed silently down my cheeks. ¡°Ha¡­.¡± As soon as I breathed out a sigh of tears, I could feel the subtle silence of the two maids who were scrambling behind my back and preparing my bed. No wonder it looks weird. I sat silently in front of the desk with the candle lit and burst into tears. However, I wasn¡¯t relaxed enough to care about that. I really don¡¯t know what to do now. I feel like I¡¯m walking on a worn-out bridge. I¡¯m afraid to take a step, but when I stop, I feel like my feet are going to sink. As expected, it would be better to ask for the bath water now. I might feel a little better. ¡°Excuse me, the bath¡­¡­.¡± As soon as I opened my mouth, it suddenly became noisy outside the door. I heard the maids of the detached house calling ¡®young master¡¯. There¡¯s only one person in this mansion who¡¯ll be called a ¡®young master¡¯¡­¡­. ¡°Y, young master!¡± ¡­..He suddenly opened the door and came in. My eyes were tightly shut at the sight of the maids hurriedly approaching me and bowing. My head was muddy with a mixture of resignation and resentment. ¡°Melissa.¡± Why the hell did he come here? I told him through the butler that I didn¡¯t want to meet him. Why the hell doesn¡¯t he leave me alone¡­¡­¡­. ¡°Why are you crying?¡± Alan¡¯s voice drew closer. Did he take a bath? There was a faint smell of roses. It was shortly thereafter that it occurred to me that it might be Monica Elwood¡¯s scent. I know that they use the same perfume. ¡°Melissa, I¡¯m asking you why you¡¯re crying.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± His voice was strangely sweet, so I bit my lips. Then, tears flowed from my eyes as if they had made a promise. I¡¯m so stupid¡­¡­. ¡°Melissa Collins.¡± ¡°The wind¡­¡± ¡°What¡¯s wrong with the wind?¡± ¡°¡­¡­The wind was so cold, so¡­¡­.¡± A ridiculous answer popped out. I felt frustrated with myself. Couldn¡¯t you have given a more plausible answer? Do you feel better now when you hear his ridicule? While tears were forming again at the end of the eyelashes with a clear sense of guilt, Alan did not laugh or question the exact reason. Just bend down¡­¡­ He kissed me lightly on the cheek. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Soon after, two maids were heard leaving the room in a row like pigeons in the street. When the door closed with a bang, ¡°Today I¡­¡­.¡± I managed to part my lips. ¡°I learned one thing.¡± ¡°I¡¯m listening.¡± Alan, standing upright beside me, was looking down at me. Even without lifting my eyes, I could see how cold and affectionate his eyes would be at the same time. It was natural that I loved those eyes more than the whole universe. So it was unbearably painful. The moment his eyes captured the person he loved for the first time. The moment when I was gently drenched with hot and overwhelming emotions. Those moments that would have shone with the perfect sense of happiness must have been so dazzling and beautiful that words cannot describe it. My heart always ached when I imagined someone who would have watched it all by his side. But did I ever deserve it in the first place? ¡°Say it.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Now is the time to wake up from this dream. From a fake paradise that was beautifully packaged but was actually just a nightmare. Chapter 104 Chapter 104: Grief Tastes Like Salt To me, Alan Leopold was like a glass of poison. The fact was so obvious from the moment I first faced him but I had pretended not to know. The brilliant liquid, with its brilliant color and aroma, was contained in a glass that was dazzlingly beautiful. He was a poisoned Holy Grail. The reason why my lips were so dry just looking at Alan was probably because I instinctively knew that I would never spit it out again the moment I put it (the poison (Alan)) in my mouth, even a little bit. The fact that he will run through my veins after drinking and will eventually destroy all of me¡­.¡­. Nevertheless, I succumbed to the splendid Holy Grail. Of course it was voluntary. It was not enough to dare to drink it with my lips, which I could never bear, and I held it without fear, and swallowed it little by little. I knew the sweet poison was slowly ruining me, but the time I was drunk on him was so ecstatic. ¡°Alan.¡± I didn¡¯t want to let go of that sense. foolishly ¡°¡­¡­I, as expected.¡± This was enough, Melissa. So please stop this ephemeral and destructive pleasure¡­¡­. ¡°Can¡¯t love you.¡± I managed to make up a normal face, suppressing the rising tears. If I speak in a fragile voice, I¡¯ll be dragged to him as usual. I¡¯m sure he¡¯ll hug me, and I¡¯ll melt in his arms. He¡¯ll only come back to the mansion once in a while and hug me, and when dawn comes, I¡¯ll have to let him go helplessly. He¡¯s going to give his heart out to someone other than me. In the first place, I¡¯m sure I¡¯m a boring woman who comes to mind once in a while, but it¡¯s so sad that I can¡¯t forget the warmth of that small moment and flap like a fish thrown ashore. If it¡¯s just an ending where I¡¯ll dry up ugly and die because of useless love that I¡¯ll never have. ¡°I mean it.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± There was no answer, so I hurriedly added it, but he was silent. Just looked down at me with a long stare. Alan Leopold is like winter, so he¡¯s rarely expressive. What is he thinking now? The idea that Melissa Collins would dare say she couldn¡¯t love him? Or¡­ the idea of being ridiculous? I¡¯m going to hug him anyway, but I¡¯m acting like a kid, right? ¡°That¡¯s weird.¡± Then, Alan slowly swept my right cheek, which was dripping with tears, with his thumb. It was bare hands without gloves. Pale, straight fingers that feel cool due to low body temperature¡­¡­. ¡°It¡¯s only been a few days since you cried with happiness in my arms.¡± (T/N: during snu snu) The blue, cold gray eyes glanced slowly as if appreciating me. It was beautiful and creepy. ¡°Why would you lie like this?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± He makes me completely defenseless just by his voice. I was barely holding back my desire to cling to his arms any moment. But can I defeat Alan Leopold? ¡°Alan, I¡­¡­.¡± My face was helplessly soaked with endless tears. My bewildered gaze followed as the transparent teardrops ran slowly down his fingers and finally down his wrists. It¡¯s really embarrassing. These tears shouldn¡¯t make me look like a whining child. Now all that was left was a way to recall the section of heaven that I had glimpsed in the garden. It¡¯s still as clear as the inside of the eyelid, the perfect and holy image of the two lovers. Then my heart ached. It was no longer difficult to make a vicious voice. ¡°¡­¡­I was looking at something other than you.¡± He looked at me with an expressionless face. With a pale, cold face that doesn¡¯t have any emotions. That cool feeling of pressure seemed to crush my spine. Is he holding back his anger? ¡°Speak clearly, so I can understand you.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± There was no easy answer to his sarcasm. But I can¡¯t help but answer¡­¡­. Cold eyes like the moon in the night sky catch my gaze like a trap. I felt like my heart was about to explode due to the tight tension, so I moved my trembling lips as if I were exhaling my breath. ¡°I think I love you in my novel, not you.¡± ¡°Ha, Melissa¡­¡­.¡± He held me by the shoulders and suppressed his sneering. He didn¡¯t hold me hard enough to hurt me, but his big hands, shaking with unexpected emotions, could break my bones right away. It¡¯s disgraceful. It¡¯s so ridiculous that I might get angry. But you will never know you are beautiful enough to receive blind love. How much courage it takes to love you like that. ¡°It¡¯s true that it started with you, but it¡¯s different now.¡± And unfortunately, I¡¯m not that strong. ¡°Troy is my ideal. After all, you are¡­¡­ Just a shadow of Troy.¡± ¡°Ha.¡± Alan closed his eyes with a cold laugh. At the same time, his hands, which were holding my shoulders, fell off. Now, what do you want to do? Are you going to strangle me with that hand? Or will you leave like you did last time? ¡°¡­¡­.¡± I closed my eyes nervously, but surprisingly, no answer came back. It was clear that he was still standing in front of me without leaving. I can feel his breath and scent even with my eyes closed. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Eventually, when I opened my eyes gently, Alan was staring at me with his mouth covered and his head tilted. His eyes were as deep and cold as the abyss. I had no idea what he was thinking now. The pale-white face, shimmering in the shadow of a candle, looked grave as if he was thinking about something seriously, and eerie as if he were hiding a hideous murderous intent. ¡°¡­¡­ I¡¯m sorry. I mean it.¡± It was irresistible to say so. Even though I enjoy daydreaming, deviant romance sometimes makes me feel guilty, as I am only a realistic person. It¡¯s literally a luxury for someone like me to love Alan Leopold. So I have to go back to reality. I know I might look like a pathetic coward to someone, but there¡¯s no other way. I don¡¯t want to be hurt. Who in the world likes to be hurt? ¡°All right¡± At that moment, a chillingly low voice broke the silence. A thin soot fluttered like a long tail over the flames blazing precariously in the dark. ¡°Sleep in my room tonight.¡± ¡°What¡­.¡± Suddenly all my movements stopped. It was an answer that made my eyebrows narrow. It¡¯s not you that I love, it¡¯s the man in the novel who looks like you. What kind of interpretation can lead to that kind of answer? ¡°¡­¡­I don¡¯t want to.¡± ¡°Why?¡± ¡°In this situation¡­¡­.¡± My eyelashes were terribly wet. While thinking that it was a miracle that I still had tears to shed, the tears that flowed down my right cheek ran down the corners of my lips and seeped into my mouth. ¡°Doing that with you¡­¡­.¡± Grief tastes like salt. I became endlessly miserable as if I were standing in front of a distant sea. ¡°¡­¡­I won¡¯t.¡± Then Alan, who bent neatly, wiped away my tears with his fingertips and the back of his hand, not a handkerchief. The touch was strangely persistent. ¡°Yes, I won¡¯t do that.¡± I heard a gentle whisper. A smile as if drawn with the world¡¯s most delicate and soft brush hung on his cheeky lips. I had the illusion of being a lost child for a moment. I just wanted to hang on to his neck, asking him to take me home. ¡°Something happened.¡± Then Alan hugged me. ¡°Alan¡­!¡± ¡°So sleep comfortably.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°You¡¯re going to keep crying like this here.¡± The low-pitched voice was too cool to be a relief to me. I¡¯ve never felt relieved in his arms. Because when he hugged me, my heart would always beat like it would jump out of my chest. The day will probably never come when I can reach this man and remain calm. My face was already wet with tears. It was the same with his chest that held me. It was then that I realized that Alan¡¯s heart was beating so calmly. Though I thought it was an echo that resembled his voice, I thought that there would be times when this chest would beat uncontrollably fast but it would not be because of me. A rose garden covered with morning dew. Such a mellow scent takes away even the will to struggle. Whenever I sniffled, he gave me a careful hug and hurried his way to the main house. In the dark hallway passing by while holding me like a child, the shadows of the bars created by the moonlight stretched endlessly. Only the sound of neat footsteps echoed in the dark. When we got to the room, he laid me straight on the bed and covered me with a blanket. Even with such a friendly touch, Alan didn¡¯t say good night or kiss me on the cheek. He just looked down at me for a moment, turned straight and blew out the candle. There was such a brief silence. I was blinking blankly in the pitch-black darkness, where my vision did not change even if I closed or opened my eyes. Then I heard his footsteps again, followed by a quiet door closing. As soon as I felt a sign of moving away toward the far corridor, my eyes, which were drowsy, closed gently. Is it because I had a hard day, or is it because of the cozy bedding that felt like someone¡¯s arms? My mind was noisy, but a distant sleep covered me as gently as a feather. And the next day, I went back to the annex, where last night, I read my novel from beginning to end¡­¡­ ¡°¡­¡­What the hell¡­¡­¡± I found it all burned down. Chapter 105 Chapter 105: He Burnt Down Our Story ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? It was early in the morning when I woke up alone in a large bed that didn¡¯t feel warm. The moment I woke up to the subtle sound of birdsong, I had to hold my breath urgently. This is not my¡­¡­. ¡°¡­¡­Ah.¡± Only then did the events of last night slowly dawned on me. It was hard to believe that I had slept peacefully in Alan Leopold¡¯s room without even waking up. A morning with nothing inconsequential weighs on me slowly. As I was immersed in my thoughts in the faint light that was leaking through the curtains, my heart ached. From the beginning, there was only one option. Getting up straight away and going back to the annex as if running away. As soon as I made up my mind, I ran out of Alan¡¯s room as if on fire. It was so hectic that I realized long after I left the main building that I didn¡¯t clean up the messy bed at all. I managed to escape from this gigantic castle to the most relaxing place, ¡°Uh?¡± The pitch-black ashes lying horribly on my beautiful reading table viciously occupied my vision. It didn¡¯t take long to know it was a pile of my notebook and manuscripts. ¡°¡­¡­What the hell¡­¡­¡± It felt like the blood all over my body was getting cold. While I was away, the room was swept away to the point where there was not a single dust, but the table top was unorganized. Anger soared to the top of my head with that mean obvious intention. ¡°Excuse me!¡± Running out into the hallway, I called the maid who was opening the window. My heart went up and down in a burst of anger. ¡°How did this happen?¡± ¡°What do you mean?¡± The maid asked back without looking back at me as if she were annoyed. The windows were opened and the fresh autumn morning air rushed into the hallway. ¡°My¡­¡± All I wore was a thin sheet of Negligees. The sudden chill gripped my heart. I managed to move my lips with my arms wrapped around me. ¡°My novel¡­.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± There was no way of knowing whether her hearing was bad or if she was deliberately ignoring me, but the maid walked briskly without answering. Then she opened the window right next to me. ¡°Hey¡­¡­!¡± It was only natural that the hands, which were hugging both arms with goosebumps, suddenly got strength. ¡°My novel is burned to the ashes now!¡± I burst into a rage. I didn¡¯t even remember how long it had been since I made such a loud noise. It was as if it wasn¡¯t me. Maybe it¡¯s because I¡¯m still half asleep or because I cried too much yesterday, or maybe it¡¯s because I can¡¯t believe that a novel I¡¯ve been working on has gone to ashes in one day¡ª ¡°He told me not to clean it up, but to leave it as it is.¡± ¡°¡­¡­What?¡± Even the will to get angry at her shameless attitude disappeared. Ah¡­ I¡¯m dizzy as if I¡¯m going to faint. Yes, what¡¯s the point of getting mad at the maid? The employees of this mansion are paper dolls that are operated only by the owner¡¯s orders. There were no good will, nor ill will to me. So the only person I can blame is¡­¡­. * * * For me, {Paradise on the Moon} was not a simple piece of writing. It was the only refuge that allowed me to forget this unrealistic reality and live a normal life, sometimes laughing, sometimes crying. Unfortunately, after my novel disappeared from the world, there was nowhere else to hang on to. Having no place to hang on to means that I just have to endure this abnormal life. Recklessly as if standing defenseless in the middle of a battlefield full of bullets. At first glance, it may seem that I was devoted to writing the novel under Alan¡¯s instructions, but in fact, I was not writing to dedicate the completed {Paradise on the Moon} to Alan. I was only writing for Melissa Collins. To get out of here first. To escape the shadow of a man who holds my life. Only then can I learn to love myself completely and live for myself. The feeling of losing all those goals and will overnight cannot be explained by just being stunned or feeling hopeless. Anxiety and fear surged into me as if I was falling into an endless abyss. It was a huge panic indeed. That¡¯s why I¡¯ve been hanging around the garden since morning. It was a cloudy day, but it was fortunate that it didn¡¯t rain. As if overcoming yesterday¡¯s nightmare, I strode through the bushes where I had seen him and Monica, and farther, more thoroughly, looking for him, unaware of the weed stains on my hem. I had to meet him. It suddenly occurred to me that Alan would have left the mansion early in the morning, while I was around like a madman. What was he thinking when he burned {Paradise on the Moon}? Alan Leopold loved my novel. He said he would read it, so he volunteered to be on the Academy Jury, and he even duplicated the manuscript secretly. Only to complete the story of the novel. It was only recently that he asked me what happened to the main character, Troy. By all accounts, it was clear that he had an affection for my story. Ironically, the original culprit that brought me here was also that same affection. Is it too much to say the original culprit? I ended up living in Alan Leopold¡¯s house, where I¡¯d put my whole life on the line, with that writing as a medium. It¡¯s not an ideal form, but it probably won¡¯t happen again even if I was born again. We often sit face to face, look at each other, talk about secrets, and sometimes kiss each other, and it¡¯s not love, but it¡¯s similar enough¡­¡­ So I shared feelings that I sometimes get deluded. It was a time when I was dreaming and overwhelmed. But he never told me that it¡¯s love. It¡¯s not Melissa Collins that Alan Leopold loved but it¡¯s her novel. In other words, the person he kissed was me as a novelist. Even the novelist is a woman who loves him enough to create a character who looks like him and write a story, so all the actions Alan took on me may have been a kind of encouragement or hostility. So my question is, why did he burn my novel? Even if he didn¡¯t love me, didn¡¯t he love my novel? ¡®It was this hand.¡¯ You kissed my fingertips tenderly and said that you¡¯ve waited so long for my novel to be completed, for that one thing. Why in the world? ¡°¡­¡­Ah.¡± It was when I wandered in the forest for a long time and reached the pond in the center of the garden. I had to stop walking for a while and lift the hem of my dress because my ankle hurt. Sure enough, there was a thin scratch near the ankle. Seeing that pale drops of blood were seeping out, the wound did not seem to have been inflicted recently. I didn¡¯t even know I was hurt until now, but after realizing it, I was no longer confident in wandering around the garden because my ankle was sore. My ankle is injured, and I feel like my head is spinning. Eventually, even breathing became somewhat uncomfortable. My chest is stuffy. I thought, staring blankly down at the flowers blooming by the pond. Am I feeling angry right now? Am I getting angry that my novel which I wrote painstakingly burned down? ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Suddenly everything felt like stupid. Why I¡¯m here. What the hell am I supposed to live for? It¡¯s just all of a sudden, everything is¡­¡­. ¡°Miss.¡± It was when I closed my eyes and quietly inhaled the faint smell of wood that was blown by the wind mixed with the faint smell of water. ¡°You were here.¡± When I turned around, the head-maid was standing there. It¡¯s been a while since I saw that face. ¡°Is Alan back?¡± ¡°No.¡± ¡°¡­¡­No?¡± The question arose momentarily. If it wasn¡¯t for Alan Leopold, there¡¯s no reason for the head-maid to come to the middle of the garden looking for me. Standing awkwardly with all my nerves focused on my tingling ankle, the maid opened her mouth. ¡°I brought an official letter from Hessen Cathedral about the donation, and I¡¯d like to ask you to sign it.¡± ¡°¡­¡­What?¡± I couldn¡¯t understand the maid¡¯s words at once, and spoke in a puzzled voice. I hurriedly rolled up a strand of hair that fell on the bridge of my nose because of the wind blowing in time. ¡°What and from where did you bring it?¡± How do I know what the cathedral is doing, since I have been in the Duchy for several months and haven¡¯t even stepped out of the mansion? ¡°The master is not here.¡± However, the maid¡¯s answer is more spectacular. ¡°No, so why would you ask me for it? You can do it yourself, right? Or the butler¡ª¡± ¡°We¡¯re his servants, not the master¡¯s proxy.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡­¡­I¡¯m not either. The maid had a stubborn mouth as always, and her voice was curt, but she seemed very calm. She added, in a tone that would say, ¡®The autumn is in full swing.¡¯ ¡°Because you¡¯re the mistress of this house.¡± ¡°N¡­¡± (No) ¡°I can¡¯t keep them waiting long, so please come in. There¡¯s not much to it, so just sign it.¡± At that moment, I remembered last night¡¯s conversation like a lie. ¡ªI think I love you in my novel, not you. I definitely said this, and then¡­¡­. ¡ªAfter all, you are¡­¡­Just a shadow of Troy. Even after saying words like those. Alan had taken me to his room when he heard it. He said something happened to him. It was just like comforting care. But come to think of it, there¡¯s no way that ¡®something¡¯ suddenly occurred that night, even while he was talking to me. Of course, if it¡¯s the job of burning down all my novel manuscripts, it¡¯s a different story. ¡°I mean¡­.¡± Are you jealous of Troy in the novel? That Alan Leopold? But my novel must be more important to him than me. He doesn¡¯t even love me. Why is he jealous¡­¡­. ¡°Oh, my lady.¡± I was frustrated as I stood still with my mouth closed, and the head-maid sighed like urging me to wake up. ¡°Mr. Alan said it himself. All right?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Come on, follow me. Come on.¡± ¡°¡­¡­It doesn¡¯t make sense.¡± Alan Leopold, do you love me? ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? Chapter 106 Chapter 106: Let Me See Him ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? Following the head-maid, I diligently walked through the endless forest path lined with garden trees. At the end of the thick forest, a dark blue-clad official stood waiting for us. He handed over a document that I couldn¡¯t even read properly and I signed it with trembling hands. Although somehow I couldn¡¯t sign it properly because I was embarrassed. ¡¸Mel¡¹ ¡°Thank you. Please give my regards to Mr. Leopold.¡± The official, who received the childlike signed documents, left the mansion at a busy pace, leaving a brief greeting. Perhaps because she also no longer had any business left, the head-maid also bowed silently as soon as the official left and turned toward the annex. There was nothing new to be upset about her attitude. Sandra is the only one who talks to me in this mansion in the first place. Even if it weren¡¯t for that, they¡¯ll be busy sweeping and polishing this huge old castle every day. I have that much understanding. I just wanted to ask a little more detail about what the head-maid said. That I¡¯m pretty much a mistress of this mansion. And whether that¡¯s really what Alan Leopold says. ¡°Phew¡­.¡± But her hand, which she had gently stretched out, fell off helplessly, as the back of the head-maid in uniform had become as small as a small dot. As expected, she was scared. Of course it was a lie to get her to sign it quickly. Because she thought the same answer like ¡®There¡¯s someone waiting for you.¡¯ would come back. But it was also unbearably scary to hear the confirmation that their young master really said that. ¡°Ugh¡­¡­.¡± When the grass leaf, which grew ankle-high, brushed the wound, my whole body felt numb as if I had been electrocuted. I wish I could go back to my room, apply some medicine, and rest. Even though I skipped breakfast and lunch and wandered around the garden through the smell of grass, I couldn¡¯t go back to my room for some reason. It¡¯s not because I don¡¯t want to face the ashes again, as Sandra should have cleaned my table by now. However, the foolish thought that this road was the most likely place to reunite with him grabbed me by the ankle and did not let me go. Of course, it is frustrating and painful to feel that a novel that has not been completed is burned to ash in an instant. It¡¯s a precious story I¡¯ve written in my spare time, going back and forth between the narrow desk in the old two-story house and the corner of my favorite coffee shop. If I deny that it has disappeared yet, it would seem like it would have never happened. I still can¡¯t believe it. But now, I feel more strongly that I should talk to Alan Leopold. What was he thinking when he burned my novel? It¡¯s impossible to guess, but in fact, it¡¯s like I know a little bit. But these ideas, which make me afraid, cannot be dispelled without his answer. Unless it¡¯s Alan Leopold. With that thought, I crossed the wide garden towards the main gate. Even if I could get to the door, I wouldn¡¯t be able to get out. I know clearly that he is more likely not to be able to come back today. In the face of the obvious fact, I sometimes slowed down to reflect on how small and insignificant I was, but whenever I raised my head with hesitation, the unknown certainty comforted me. I thought it was a strange and affectionate comfort. ¡°¡­¡­The bulb that I had dried has not yet been replanted.¡± It was then that a shrill voice was heard. As soon as I stopped walking at the unfamiliar voice, a familiar voice followed. ¡°Good job. Sooner or later, we will have to do a major overhaul of the garden.¡± It was certainly the voice of William, the butler of the mansion. And I acted out of my league again. ¡°William¡­!¡± I shouted out the name of the butler somewhere beyond the crowded garden tree colony. Originally, I would have walked towards the source of the voice, but now I can¡¯t afford to. ¡°William! Where are you, William!¡± In the end, William and the gardener found me first. The butler with a dignified and solemn impression walked in front of me, standing alongside the young chestnut tree. He touched the shiny monocles one after another as if he couldn¡¯t believe it. ¡°What¡¯s going on? Are you lost?¡± He glanced puzzledly at my messy, tangled hair and sloppy attire¡ª just a thin shawl over my sleepwear. I would have looked even more shabby and strange in contrast to their undisturbed appearance. ¡°You¡¯re going to catch a cold. Please go in¡ª¡± ¡°Take me to Alan.¡± William paused in bewilderment. His eyes seemed to be telling me this- What¡¯s wrong with your head? ¡°¡­¡­You know, the young master is now,¡± ¡°Take me where Alan is. You know where he is.¡± ¡°Lady, you¡¯re being so stubborn¡­¡­. I don¡¯t know why you¡¯re doing this, but he¡¯s not a free man. If you wait until he comes back,¡± ¡°He locked me up to write a novel and then burned it!¡± I cut off his words and screamed. Because I don¡¯t want to hear a lecture in the least. The butler turned pale and asked the gardener who was listening in the back to go back. ¡°Why in the world did he treat me like this¡­.¡± ¡°I understand. Calm down first.¡± A sigh flowed out at the words. Is it because he is Alan¡¯s loyal servant? Even after saying he understood it felt like a deception. I managed to continue, suppressing the rising sorrow. ¡°If I could, I would have visited him myself.¡± ¡°¡­¡­Miss.¡± ¡°If your master hadn¡¯t locked me up¡­¡­ I would have run out even barefoot.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± It was only when the butler hurriedly handed the handkerchief that I realized that I was crying but I didn¡¯t have the strength to accept it casually. My ankles were throbbing, my face was a mess, and my emotions were collapsing as if they were broken. ¡°William, Alan¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Please stand up, Miss.¡± The butler was embarrassed and reached out to me, who sat down without caring about the dirt. ¡°Let me see him¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I¡¯ll send a servant.¡± My eyes widened at those words. ¡°Are you taking me where he is?¡± It seems that he had a rather very happy and welcoming face for a person who would get scolded at, gave explanation and an apology for coming to see Alan Leopold. ¡°His business unit is facing a very important situation right now. I¡¯m not sure that he¡¯ll be able to meet you if you go to see him today.¡± ¡°Then¡­¡± I lifted myself up with my sleeve wiping away tears. I still had a slight dizziness. The autumn leaves above my head are about to pour down. ¡°If you don¡¯t mind, I¡¯ll tell him to send a carriage. Let¡¯s go back to the room first.¡± The answer gave me a wave of relief and distant fatigue. I nodded softly and walked unsteadily back to the annex. When I returned to the room, disinfected the wound, and washed myself in a bathtub full of petals, I felt a little better and dreamy. When I came out of the bath and was drinking a little of the clear soup Sandra brought, a maid came and announced that a carriage was waiting outside. * * * I remember the day I climbed the brilliant Moonlight. The clear sky between spring and summer, the sound of a miracle that shakes the earth, and the smell of the sea. However, while not aware of it, it was already the peak of autumn. And this is surprisingly my first outing since coming to the Principality of Lunoa. ¡°Then we¡¯ll be on our way, miss.¡± I fainted without knowing that I had arrived at Lunoa, I opened my eyes in an ancient castle dungeon. After that, a new life in an immovable cage. It was not long ago that I was able to come out to the garden. If I was asked if I lived an unhappy and miserable life, it was not. However, enjoying good rooms, clothes, and food and having a comfortable time with countless servants does not make unwanted restraints a pleasant thing. It is a very dangerous idea to think so. The problem is that sometimes I felt happy. ¡­¡­No, actually quite often I think. ¡°Ha¡­.¡± I leaned against the seat without even thinking about pulling back the curtains. Before I came to Lunoa, I was curious about the street scenery of Lunos, the capital city where art lived and breathed. Now I just didn¡¯t want to think about anything. I fell asleep for a moment, but the carriage rattled and stopped, and my eyes were wide open. Sure enough, I heard a knock and the coachman opened the door. The gentle autumn sun crept into the carriage. ¡°We¡¯re here, miss.¡± Holding his outstretched hand, I got out of the carriage, and a three-story building stood in front of me. It looked quite old, but it was a neat building that gave the impression that it was antique rather than old. ¡°This is the office¡­¡­.¡± There were already countless moments when I missed him so desperately while he was here. Did he sometimes think of me here too? A young man came running to me, who was thinking about it while standing blankly. ¡°Oh, you¡¯re¡­¡­.¡± He was an academy scholarship student who lost his way in a detached house the other day. He told the story of Tobias, he greeted me with a happy face as if he recognized me right away. ¡°Welcome. He¡¯s waiting.¡± He guided me to a small tea room at the end of the hallway. As he walked down the cool corridor, he talked about Lunoa¡¯s autumn weather and the duchy¡¯s traders. It may have been his own consideration, but unfortunately, I couldn¡¯t properly hear any of his words. Because the sound of my heart beating wildly was much louder than his voice. What am I supposed to say when I meet Alan Leopold? First I condemn the heinous act of burning my novel, and then I receive a sincere apology, and then¡­¡­. ¡°Sir Alan, this is Eden. I brought her here.¡± I held on to the doorknob before I heard the answer. It¡¯s never my will to be so impulsive. It¡¯s because the only thing inside this door that makes my face hot just by thinking about it and takes all the time to think about it¡­No¡­, Melissa. Actually, it¡¯s all my will. I kicked the door into the room and shouted. ¡°Alan!¡± Chapter 107 Chapter 107: It¡¯s You That I Wanted ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? It was very strange. Outside the window, the golden autumn was in full swing, but the inside of the room was as cold as early winter. In the middle of it was Alan Leopold sitting. That jet-black haired man, whiter than snow. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Where did my spirit of shouting his name go, and as soon as I faced him, I froze as if I had frostbite. With his long legs crossed at an angle, he lifted his fine chin gracefully¡­¡­ This is because he looked like Alan Leopold in my distant memory, whom I used to peek at without anyone knowing. I couldn¡¯t see the man who whispered sweet words to me and smiled at me, curving his red lips as if he had bitten a flower. Did our memories disappear last night like those ashes? I suddenly felt empty in my mind. The moment I just woke up from my restful sleep, I realized that everything was a dream, like a beautiful and painful sense of loss. ¡°¡­¡­Alan.¡± He finally saw me. Eyes like a misty winter lake were shining cold under his thick lashes. His skin was always as pale as the moon in the night sky, but he looked exceptionally pale today. He didn¡¯t sleep? Is there any problem¡­¡­. It was ridiculous for a moment even though my heart was numb with anxiety. Who the hell cares about whom. Alan looked up at me with a cool, emotionless stare, and didn¡¯t even tell me to sit down. Because of that, I felt dizzy just standing at the door and looking at him. Why on earth are you so beautiful? No great painter or sculptor could put all his breath and all his life into moving this beauty on a canvas.¡­. There are times when I feel unbearably sad just looking at him like that. ¡°Come and sit down.¡± With a low sigh, he said reluctantly. I was startled, as if waking up from a dream, and quickly sat down in front of him. The clear blue-grey eyes were terrifyingly deep. As our eyes met tightly, I was afraid that all my shameful thoughts would be revealed. ¡°What¡¯s the matter? Your complexion¡­.¡± So I quickly lowered my gaze and asked in a trembling voice. But his answer was inexhaustible. ¡°What do you have to say?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± At the arrogant tone of voice, I suddenly laughed out loud. Why the hell am I acting like a sinner in front of him, and why is he acting viciously like someone who has never done anything wrong? ¡°You, my novel¡­¡­.¡± Without a word, pent-up emotions poured down like a dam collapsed in the heavy rain. I clenched my fist. Until the tingling pain rushes into my fingers. ¡°Why did you do that? You know what that means to me.¡± ¡°Write it again.¡± ¡°¡­¡­What?¡± ¡°You can rewrite it from the beginning.¡± His cold voice was terribly insensitive. ¡°Again¡­¡± My hand holding the hem of the dress relaxed. My whole body trembled and my eyes gradually became dim. Is he doing this on purpose? You can¡¯t bear it unless you make Melissa Collins miserable? Like a man who lives only for my misfortune¡­¡­. ¡°That, now¡­.¡± Was it just my arrogance that I thought I could talk to him without getting angry? Breathing deeply, I slowly looked up and saw the man in front of me. The only person who makes me feel all the emotions that exist in the world just by looking at him. Rarely, only one emotion was painfully clear today. The bitter disillusionment that boils in my heart¡­¡­ I even had the illusion that my whole body was being burned by the flames. ¡°Is that what you¡¯re saying? Do you even know what you¡¯ve done?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°What rights do you have to¡­¡­!¡± ¡°Rights? Then what about you?¡± I was speechless by the unexpected counterargument and froze. ¡°I wonder what rights you have to do that.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°If I said I got rid of it because it bothered me. Can you still be angry?¡± A low voice and emotionless face. Nevertheless, the gaze that stuck to me was overwhelming enough to make me hold my breath. My heart was pounding out of control. It feels like my body is getting cold. I had no idea that Alan was thinking like this¡­.¡­. ¡°You wrote about me in the first place, obviously.¡± My head was bleached white by the sharp words. Ironically, there was only one thing that came to mind. The only truth hidden in a flood of anxiety and questions. It was then that my tightly closed lips fell. ¡°It was you who even imprisoned me to complete it.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°You wanted the novel. Why are you saying that now? I¡­.¡± I don¡¯t understand. Perhaps I will never know your heart. Because you will never show or tell me. ¡°Phew.¡± Then Alan let out a low sigh. I stared blankly as his smooth brow twisted painfully. Is it painful just to face me now? Then will there be no more ecstatic times like those dreams? There were definitely moments when I felt something had begun between him and me. Was it only the beginning of the end after all? ¡°Hic¡­.¡± A slight sob broke out. When I met Alan, I made up my mind not to cry, but I couldn¡¯t stop it. In fact, I tried to hold back my tears by biting my lips. I didn¡¯t want to seem any weaker to him. But I couldn¡¯t do anything about the corners of my eyes that were getting wet, and I ended up burying my face in my hands. At that moment, Alan lowered his neck. It¡¯s like he¡¯s holding back.¡­. ¡°It¡¯s not the novel I wanted.¡± And words that sounded like a lie. ¡°It¡¯s you.¡± When I looked up, I saw golden dust swimming slowly between him and me. His face was visible behind the glazed and harmless sunlight. The beautiful face of Alan Leopold, which can now be seen even with eyes closed, and will never be forgotten even if I am reborn, seemed unfamiliar as if I had never seen it before. I thought I¡¯d never forget this moment. ¡°What does that mean?¡± ¡°I thought it was the novel you wrote (what he wanted).¡± He had a strange face that looked like he was about to cry. ¡°¡­¡­It was you who wrote it.¡± ¡°That¡­.¡± My heart pounded and fell to the floor. Soon even the tears stopped. I thought, blinking my eyes in disbelief. What did I hear now? What did he say to me now? It¡¯s not a strange word at all, but I didn¡¯t understand it at once. I mean¡­ what Alan Leopold wanted was actually¡­¡­. ¡°Den, are you outside?¡± As soon as I reached out to say something, he rose up calling a man outside the door. ¡°Yes.¡± ¡°Call the carriage. My guest is going back.¡± ¡°Alan, now¡­¡­.¡± I stood up after him, but my legs were heavy as if a rock was hanging from it. Still, I desperately approached Alan trudging as if drawn by gravity. ¡°I¡¯m still¡­¡± ¡°Go back now.¡± A neat answer came back. But the gaze held me like a trap. ¡°¡­¡­What am I supposed to do if you send me back like this?¡± ¡°Just wait a little bit.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Wait for me. Let¡¯s talk again at night.¡± He whispered and arranged my tangled hair with a gentle touch. ¡°Okay?¡± * * * All the way back to the mansion in the carriage, I was rewinding his words, expressions, touches, all one by one. ¡°What he wanted was not my novel¡­¡­.¡± My anger and confused mind slowly died down at the sound of horse hoofs ringing at a constant speed. ¡ªIt¡¯s you. Just then, a warning sound went off in my head. He is so wicked and cunning. I don¡¯t think I can go against him. Then what should I do now? Do I just have to be fooled again? As always. Something that glitters and glows, never knowing when it will disappear. It is called fantasy, which causes endless thirst by giving off a sweet scent from a distance that is almost out of reach. I suddenly thought, between a sweet fantasy and bitter reality, is it so bad to choose the sweet fantasy? I still don¡¯t know if Alan Leopold loves me or not. I won¡¯t know the secretive man¡¯s heart unless our souls are switched. So I have no way of knowing whether Alan¡¯s desire for me is the same as my desire for him. Even if what he said was true, I¡­¡­ I don¡¯t think I can forget the two people who were hugging each other and the green scenery that unfolded behind them. ¡°¡­¡­Monica Elwood.¡± A lot might have changed ifI had been as cool as her. But I will never be her, so I have to constantly remind myself. To me, he is the only one for me, but to him I will never be the one. And that the shallow, petty affection he gives me as if I was in the right place would never give me complete rest. It felt like I was already smelling the anxiety and tears I was about to embrace. I can¡¯t help but feel sad all of a sudden. If I am alone and weeping with trembling lips, he will surely come and wipe away my tears. Then I¡¯ll complain to him that it¡¯s sad that I can¡¯t be the only one for him, and I think Alan will speak in a low voice. You¡¯re the only one for me, Melissa.¡­. Like a devil who came to take my soul away. If I¡¯m willing to be deceived by the illusions he gives me, at least I can fill your mouth with sweet joy. I will soon forget about the boring world and thoughts, and I will be drenched in candy-like fantasies and burst into tears. ¡°I can¡¯t help but cry either way.¡± A low sigh breaks out. The day was coming to an end before I realised it. Soon the sunset will fall over the street. But I never opened the curtains until the carriage reached the mansion. My body and head were as heavy as wet cotton. Fortunately, by the time I felt that I was more desperate to rest than ever, I was already able to get out of the carriage and hurried to my room in the detached house. The nightmare-like pile of ashes in my room had already been cleaned up. But it wasn¡¯t just the ashes that were sorted out. ¡°Oh, my lady¡­¡­.¡± All the maid¡¯s belongings in the room had disappeared. And Sandra stood with an awkward face, carrying a large bag that was supposed to contain the items. ¡°¡­Sandra, what are you doing?¡± Chapter 108 Chapter 108: I¡¯ll Tell You Everything ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? ¡°Are you leaving the mansion?¡± My voice immediately trembled. Sandra was the only one in this huge cage who could say she was on my side without hesitation. After she leaves, I¡¯ll be alone again. What was disappointing was the fact that I couldn¡¯t even fathom why she had suddenly packed her luggage. ¡°I¡¯m sorry, miss.¡± Sandra¡¯s eyes were shaking with a dark light, but her voice was firm. It was unlikely that a clumsy persuasion would work for her, who seemed already determined. ¡°I like you very much. But my existence just got caught.¡± ¡°What do you mean?¡± The vague story narrowed the gap between my eyebrows. Have you been hiding your identity from me all this time? ¡°Mr. Maurice is dead.¡± ¡°¡­¡­What?¡± ¡°If I stay here, you¡¯ll see a terrible sight. If it¡¯s that person¡­.¡± My heart sank. As if everything had stopped. It¡¯s true that Mr. Maurice hasn¡¯t visited the mansion in a while, but I thought it was ridiculous. I never wanted to believe it. ¡°Sandra, what do you mean? A terrible sight. Mr. Maurice, why¡­¡­.¡± ¡°There was a suicide note at Mr. Maurice¡¯s house. They haven¡¯t found the body but can guess a few things. Such as jump into the river.¡­.¡± ¡°Ah¡­¡­¡± I hurriedly shut my mouth at the terrible story. My trembling gaze lost its place and shook aimlessly. Sandra, who stopped talking for a while because she felt sorry for me, opened her mouth again with a bitter face. ¡°But what¡¯s clear is that his death is not a suicide but a murder. Anyone who knows Mr. Maurice can¡¯t miss it. Actually, I knew it would be like this from the beginning¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Killing? Who the hell¡­¡­.¡± ¡°It is him, my lady.¡± For a moment, I got goosebumps all over my body. I felt like I was about to encounter a fact that I didn¡¯t even want to imagine. As if I were standing in front of a cliff where there was no end to it, I closed my quivering lips, and then I groaned again and managed to say a word. It was a very low voice compared to turning the pages. ¡°¡­¡­ Is it Alan?¡± Sandra, who shook her head at the words, looked at me in silence. She seemed to be thinking about something. ¡°Miss.¡± After a moment of silence, she said. ¡°I¡¯m going far away, so I don¡¯t need any more mental preparation.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I¡¯ll tell you everything.¡± Sandra¡¯s story was about Monica Elwood. A long time ago, Maurice, who was hired as a tutor at Leopold mansion, was in charge of Monica. It meant that she was the one he fell in love with. He said love is inherently painful. With green eyes that are endlessly desperate and sad. A noble and beautiful lady unlike himself, who is a poor writer. It wasn¡¯t too hard to imagine how painful it must have been for Mr. Maurice, who was obsessed with forbidden love. The imagination made my heart throb. Monica Elwood had many lovers, but Maurice had never been one for a single moment. He was just pitifully swayed, but nevertheless, he was always willing to stay at her feet. It was his habit to blame himself as if he were a sinner. ¡ªI could die for that love. I remember Mr. Maurice¡¯s face saying that. Nevertheless, even the sight of his beloved woman shedding tears saying that she would not want anything from him. I suddenly thought. If Monica Elwood had urged him to die as proof of that love, or because she needed a boring variation of daily life, or for some other reason. And if Mr. Maurice is willing to accept it, would I be able to sympathize with the death? And I had this thought because his body was not found. It wasn¡¯t the world he abandoned, maybe it was himself. It may have been the belated parting of the times when he was suffering from a love that could not be fulfilled. So that he can move forward. Of course, this is just my wish, but I was sincere in my hope that Mr. Maurice was not dead, but just determined to make a fresh start after overcoming his unfilled hunger. Then, Sandra made a shocking statement, which was that Monica Elwood was the real daughter of the Leopold family. I¡¯ve heard firsthand from Alan that he was an adoptee, not Mr. Leopold¡¯s descendant. Of course, it was a thorough secret, and it was completely unknown to the public. I don¡¯t think Alan lied to me that night. Just because Leopold¡¯s blood didn¡¯t mix, he was so perfect as a successor to the family that I would forget about it. But I never thought Monica Elwood was Leopold¡¯s only blood. Monica¡¯s mother was a street woman of unknown origin. It was not surprising that he was busy hiding his child from such a woman. He must have been afraid of damaging the reputation of the great family. After sending Monica to the Principality, Mr. Leopold¡¯s indescribable support can be seen from her flamboyant appearance and fancy carriage, but it seems that he didn¡¯t even give her love. What I felt when I first met her was not just the appreciation of her beauty. I felt an unprovoked lack of her. It¡¯s ridiculous that Melissa Collins, who was no one and has nothing, thought of lack when she saw Monica Ellwood. However, her appearance, which hurt and tore me, was more like an untamed beast than a noble lady. I have no intention of criticizing her now. Hearing Sandra¡¯s story, I just felt strangely pity for her. A little girl who would have been abandoned in a foreign country without her family could not have grown up tender and kind. Monica has many lovers with her eye-catching appearance and charm. There was even someone next to her who would prove his love towards her with death, but it is a pity that none of them could fill her void. ¡°Well, Miss Monica only loved that person.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± It felt strange to think that she and I, who seemed to have nothing in common, were actually in the same position. In the end, it¡¯s refreshing to know that both she and I are just a woman who is infinitely weak in front of her love, who has suffered her heart from her long-standing unrequited love. One day Alan said. She¡¯s not his lover, more than that, she¡¯s the family business. It was only today that I could fully understand his words. If it¡¯s a story like this, I understand that he couldn¡¯t tell me hastily. He had no confidence that the dimwitted Melissa Collins would not easily divulge about the secret affairs of the noble family. It¡¯s such sweet gossip, and most ordinary people are crazy about it. In the meantime, I am deeply relieved that Alan Leopold is not really her lover. In other words, the two of them are a kind of family. So I don¡¯t know if the friendly hug in the garden was actually a private thing, and his words that he wants me, not my novel¡­ Perhaps it was the most sincere confession. Before long, I came to reflect on what Monica had told me. ¡ªWe¡¯ve been together for close to a lifetime. We had each other¡¯s first kiss, and we¡¯re destined to get married someday. Dad wants it too. She said that she went to Florin¡¯s Leopold mansion as if it were her own home, so it¡¯s probably true that she¡¯s been with Alan for a long time. Maybe it was a childhood mistake to have each other¡¯s first kiss. Alan kisses me like a mistake even when he¡¯s grown up. I wasn¡¯t unbearably upset when I thought like that. However, I was forced to collapse when I heard that they were destined to get married. In fact, they didn¡¯t share any blood, and she was not given Leopold¡¯s name, so even if the two were married, there wouldn¡¯t be a stir in public opinion. Then Sandra¡¯s words cleared up my thoughts. ¡°But they won¡¯t get married. It¡¯s just Lady Monica¡¯s wish.¡± Sandra said all the servants who have been working for Leopold¡¯s family secretly know the truth about Alan and Monica. They are just keeping their mouth shut for fear of the consequences. And she confessed that she was one of the people who learned from young Monica that Alan was an adopted child and that it was because of Monica¡¯s threat when she noticed the incompatibility with Alan. ¡°She really acted like she was going to kill me. I couldn¡¯t help it¡­¡­.¡± ¡°¡­¡­I understand.¡± As I witnessed the madness in Monica¡¯s eyes, there was nothing I couldn¡¯t understand. Childhood innocence is sometimes even more brutal. ¡°Later, when the master hunted down those who had leaked the family secrets, the young master secretly helped me, who was his exclusive maid. Thanks to him, I was able to come to the principality, but¡­¡­ I later found out that all those who were kicked out were dead.¡± ¡°Ah¡­¡­.¡± I closed my eyes. Was the shadow of power so deep and terrible? I didn¡¯t even want to know how many they were or how they were killed. I just wanted this lying story to be Sandra¡¯s illusion. ¡°He¡¯s not just a benefactor to me, but a man who saved my life. He¡¯s a precious person to me.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°So you know why I¡¯m leaving. Lady Monica is a person who can hurt anything that bothers her eyes. If she found out that I returned to the master¡¯s side unharmed, something terrible may happen if I don¡¯t leave now. She¡¯s probably going to mess this place up.¡± I clasped Sandra¡¯s hand with a stunned face. Two hands that are dry and rough. ¡°Where are you going¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I should go somewhere where the sight of Monica and Mr. Leopold doesn¡¯t reach. As if I am dead. Don¡¯t worry too much, miss. I know the Principality very well.¡± ¡°But¡­¡­.¡± Sandra, who gently let go of my hand, picked up the bag and continued. It was a very firm tone. ¡°I believe that the young master will take over the family safely and correct everything right.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I hope you stay healthy, Miss Thank you very much.¡± ¡°¡­¡­My name is Melissa, Melissa Collins.¡± I hugged her tightly with a big bag. ¡°I¡¯m sorry to tell you now. I was thankful too¡­¡­.¡± Sandra, who couldn¡¯t hug me back because I was hugging her tightly, leaned her cheek on my shoulder and whispered softly. ¡°Please take care of the young master, Miss Melissa.¡± Chapter 109 Chapter 109: Loneliness ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? Unrealistic things happened one after another. This is so harsh. I¡¯m already living a hard life, but I have to bear the fact that Sandra¡¯s embroidery frame on the armchair, the white apron that was always hanging on one wall, and the two books I gave her[1] are no longer in this room. The story of Maurice and Monica Elwood, and sending off my beloved maid away.¡­. None of that was easy. If this is a novel, it may not be a story I want to reach out to. But there was one fact left in front of me after all this confusion. That I¡¯ll be meeting Alan Leopold tonight. I¡¯ll finally hear his heart. The fact was not as frightening as it was before. The fact that Monica, who seemed perfect as Alan¡¯s partner, was Leopold¡¯s only successor saved me from a pitch-black thoughts. Then, as if a lie, my anxious feelings about whether the sympathy and affection I had with Alan were special to me disappeared like a lie. Now I¡¯m really standing in front of the possibility that he and I may have the same heart. As the dark clouds in my heart cleared up, I felt like everything became clearer. Like I finally met the light in the dark. Alan Leopold liked my writing. The attempt I gave him, my novel too. He said it changed his daily life. Not only that, but he bought this old castle for me, and he captured me so that I couldn¡¯t go anywhere and whispered that I was his light all along. He asked me to love him again because he couldn¡¯t even tell me all his secrets, and he was worried that I might want to go back to Tobias. He even burned my novel when he heard that I loved Troy, not him, and now¡­¡­ He wants me, not my novel. I came to hear such magical words. The maid said that he thought of me as the hostess of this mansion. I even wrote my name instead of Alan¡¯s on the official¡¯s papers that came with the official document. As if I were his wife. What about those sweet touches and kisses? It was never meant to be a light joke. Alan was originally a man without a single scandal. So, it¡¯s hard to think that he would have enjoyed secret affairs with other women. Even the prince was caught in the whole dirty private life, therefore Alan couldn¡¯t have hidden it completely. At this point, it was harder to believe that he didn¡¯t love me. He was never loud, but he has conveyed his sincerity clearly enough. It was only because of my insincere self-esteem that I could not easily admit it, denied it, and grieved. But still, he¡¯s a very different person from me. The world we belong to, the way we think, the duration and magnitude of our emotions¡­¡­ Simply put, everything was different. How does Alan Leopold show his heart? Can I recognize it at once? Even if he and I really have the same feelings, if our conversation is in a different language and we don¡¯t understand each other¡­¡­. So what if it¡¯s just a wound after all? Thinking about it that way, it was as if an indescribable fear was rushing over me like a wave. Even immersing myself in the warm bath water might calm my trembling heart a little, but my heart ached when I realized that there was no maid who would be putting flower petals in the bathtub while smiling softly and asking difficult questions. ¡°I had been acting so nonchalant in front of Sandra¡­¡­.¡± The maids will find me as soon as I leave the room, and it¡¯s not a problem to ask them for bath water. However¡­¡­ it was a matter of certainty that the evening was already coming to an end. Because I wanted to refrain from rushing to the main building without wiping off the water properly when I heard that Alan had returned after being immersed in the water. I don¡¯t want to look shabby like a wet mouse, but at the same time I don¡¯t want to give the impression that I waited after taking a bath like a person who is about to do something great. A laugh broke out. It was because I couldn¡¯t understand what kind of psychology I was trying to show off my petty pride. I was so excited just to think that he might be in love with me. It¡¯s ridiculous to do this without hearing his confession that he loves me directly. Finally I got up in front of the table. I don¡¯t have to write that novel anyway. I don¡¯t really want to open a diary that I haven¡¯t opened for a long time. At best, Mr. Maurice is dead, Sandra¡¯s gone, there¡¯s the same painful story. It was surprising that it had been quite a while since I had not touched the book, but it was true. Indulging in books to escape from reality was my best hobby. Does it mean that I no longer want to run away from reality? Maybe even if this cage had been open from the start, I would¡­¡­¡­. ¡°Wha, What are you thinking?¡± I left the room, after blocking dangerous thoughts by talking awkwardly to myself. If I¡¯m not going to take a bath, chat with a maid, write or read, the only option left is to take a walk. ¡°Miss.¡± ¡°Ah!¡± ¡­¡­But I never dreamed that the head-maid would be standing in front of the door ¡°Is it true that you allowed the maid to leave?¡± Without time to calm my startled heart, her harsh voice rushed in. It was kind of an angry tone. Come to think of it, I didn¡¯t think Sandra was talking to the maids about leaving the mansion. It looked like she was desperately trying to get out of here. So is this anger a grievance against Sandra¡¯s share of work? Or, because you don¡¯t think I¡¯m authorized to let my maid out? I know the people here are sensitive about that, but when the hostess¡­¡­. As if she didn¡¯t expect me to answer, the head-maid folded her arms tightly and continued. ¡°As you know, I know every matter surrounding you. There¡¯s no reason to close my eyes when someone leaves the mansion with two big bags in the first place.¡± There was nothing to be embarrassed about. I quickly wrapped up the conversation and responded in a nonchalant voice to walk past her. ¡°Yes, I did.¡± ¡°Miss! If you kicked out the person the young master hired¡­¡­¡­!¡± ¡°Is that all you have to say?¡± The maid tapped her forehead and took a deep breath. Her voice became solemn again. ¡°You have finished the dinner tonight. If there¡¯s anything you don¡¯t like, you can tell me.¡± ¡°No, I don¡¯t think so.¡­.¡± ¡°Then what is your motive for choosing only the actions that the young master would hate?¡± Oh right. Not only did I challenge Alan¡¯s authority, but my inability to ¡®get along¡¯ was a big problem for the maids here. I opened my mouth as an attempt to reassure the head-maid, whose face was red. ¡°Sandra is fine. Because I asked her to do it in the first place. I skipped meals because I was a bit nervous. I¡¯ll explain it well, so don¡¯t worry.¡± ¡°Explain¡­¡­. You¡¯re not going to visit the office without a plan tomorrow, are you?¡± The head-maid asked back with a disapproving look. As if to blame me for bothering the busy man. ¡°Um, no.¡± Actually, I didn¡¯t have to wait until tomorrow. He¡¯ll be back tonight. The middle-aged woman remained on edge. ¡°By the way, why are you in the hallway? If you¡¯re hungry, I¡¯ll prepare something for you.¡± ¡°No, I¡¯m fine.¡± ¡°Then, did you come out to ask for bath water instead of the maid? I¡¯ll have the kids prepare it right away. You must have had a long day.¡± ¡°No! It¡¯s not. I came out because I wanted to walk a little outside.¡± The maid¡¯s eyes widened as I immediately delivered the main point to end this meaningless conversation. ¡°You¡¯re taking a walk at this hour? In that outfit?¡± ¡°I like walking at night.¡± I¡¯m not lying. Because I really like night walks. The glittering scenery of grass and trees couldn¡¯t be hidden in this wonderful farmhouse garden. But the real purpose of this walk is separate. One person who can¡¯t stand the countless waits. The quickest way to reunite with him is also to wait on his way back. Honestly, I felt like there was nothing I couldn¡¯t do. If I could speed up the moment I met Alan again. ¡°Miss, What are you going to do if you catch a cold! If you get bitten by a snake¡­¡­!¡± ¡°Whatever it is, I won¡¯t let him get mad at you. Okay?¡± ¡°Miss, just because of that¡ª¡± ¡°Can you please excuse me? I have to go meet Alan.¡± As soon as I finished talking, the maid told me as if she was frustrated. ¡°He said he can¡¯t come home for a while. He had been overdoing it lately! He came back yesterday, so it¡¯s impossible today. Are you listening?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± I¡¯d like to see Alan by all means today, but as the head-maid said, it¡¯s okay if he doesn¡¯t come back. It¡¯s a dreamy night with a low whisper that says he wants me, and he wants me to wait. ¡°¡­¡­Miss!¡± But I also want to meet him. I desperately wanted to wait. With that in mind, I ran past the head-maid. Until I can no longer hear her voice. I had to walk for a long time to the main gate, and I realized that my clothes were too thin after leaving the annex, but it was okay. I trembled lightly in the moonlit garden with light steps, with no hesitation. I walked faster and faster without realizing it. Before I knew it, I was running like a child, forgetting even the chilly wind. When I reached the middle of the vast garden, I heard a faint sound of horses hooves from somewhere in the garden at night. The sound quickly drew closer. It was in an instant that the black carriage led by four horses appeared. Suddenly, a strange sense of surprise enveloped my whole body. That¡¯s not true, but I feel like I¡¯ve seen this moment on the night when I fainted on the beautiful ferry ship¡¯s stern heading to the Principality of Lunoa¡­¡­. Then the carriage stopped, and the door with the embossed lion decoration opened wide. A man like a white moon in the night sky walked out of it. The way his lips opened up like petals was clearly visible in the dark. ¡°Melissa.¡± ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? [1] she¡¯s not sad that Sandra took those books from her, she¡¯s sad coz those books not being in her room makes her realise that Sandra is really not there. Chapter 110 Chapter 110: I¡¯ll Be With You Till Morning ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? T/N: 1 POV shifts to 3 POV ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? Melissa and Alan strolled side by side in the garden on a warm moonlit night. The two did not hold hands affectionately, and there was not even any conversation between them, but there was not a bit of emptiness. The sound of a gentle breeze gently stroking the leaves and the faint cry of an unknown insect rushed between them like a wave. It was an oddly overwhelming night. ¡°Young master.¡± When they arrived in front of the solemn main house, William, the butler, and the servants, who were waiting for them, all bowed together. It was then that Alan held Melissa¡¯s hand. A clear pulse was transmitted from the inside of the thin leather glove. Alan, who passed by the servants without a word, led Melissa to his room. He walked at a pace that is not too fast, in case she finds it difficult to walk with him. Unlike in the garden, there was no sound other than the sound of two people¡¯s footsteps in the dimly lit hallway. Not even the faint sound of the wind was heard. Melissa felt the heat in his hand that held her hand. She had to struggle the whole time she walked along Alan and had to calm her heart that was about to burst. In the grand and old-fashioned room, the firewood in the fireplace was burning with a crackling sound. It was a night when the subtle scent of roses and oak trees melted cozily and harmoniously. Melissa thought his room was no longer like winter. She spoke cautiously. ¡°The fire is already¡­.¡± ¡°You¡¯re always trembling.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± It wasn¡¯t necessarily because of the cold. Melissa made a blank face. Then Alan pulled her hand and made her sit on a bed bench in front of the fire. It was a natural movement like flowing water. He sat beside Melissa as she fiddled with the hem of her dress with an awkward touch. Then there was a distant silence again. Melissa swallowed the dry saliva, staring at the blazing embers in the distance. What should I say now? What should I say¡­¡­. She wanted him to speak first, but his tightly closed mouth did not seem to open easily. It was embarrassing. Melissa endured the silence stubbornly. But there was something more unbearable than this heavy silence. His blue-gray eyes that persistently stared at her. His intense gaze was constantly distracting. ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Alan seemed to be waiting for her to speak first, or he must be lost in thoughts. But he never took his eyes off the woman who sat beside him, even for a moment. And Melissa had a problem that she couldn¡¯t look into Alan¡¯s eyes for long. It was because when she looked into his eyes, her face became as hot as a fire. Nevertheless, Melissa decided to surrender to Alan. As always. However, the question of whether he loves her did not come out of his throat. So she brought up a completely different story. Throwing a straight gaze over the flames in the hearth. ¡°¡­¡­I heard about Miss Elwood.¡± Alan didn¡¯t even move as he had their clasped hands resting neatly on his legs. His beautiful eyebrows that looked as if they were painted might have wrinkled slightly. Melissa became impatient. ¡°Sa-Sandra told me because she thought about me. I hope you don¡¯t punish her. I¡¯ll never, ever tell anyone about this story.¡­.¡± ¡°So.¡± Unlike her, who was flustered with embarrassment, the man sitting next to her was not disturbed at all. As if that was nothing, he still had an indifferent face. ¡°What did you think?¡± Fortunately, Melissa replied with a shallow sigh, noticing that his deep voice was not as cold as usual. ¡°I thought it was a relief¡­¡­.¡± Alan chuckled at the remark. Obviously, it was neither ridicule nor arsenic. Then Melissa thought she could be more honest. To him and herself too. ¡°I¡¯m glad that scary woman isn¡¯t your lover.¡± ¡°What do you mean by scary?¡± ¡°Actually, she came here several times and we¡¯ve had a meal together. She suddenly said wanted to be my friend and yet observed me with the face that said otherwise¡­¡­.¡± Even if she tried to think that it was just an observation, there was something incomprehensible to Monica¡¯s method. Alan asked back. ¡°Why didn¡¯t you tell me?¡± ¡°If I told you that she was here¡­¡­ She said she will kill my maid, so.¡± Then he chuckled. ¡°Some things are arbitrary, but Monica can¡¯t be a great person who can kill people casually.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°She doesn¡¯t look like her father. Except for those damn eyes.¡± ¡°Oh¡­¡­.¡± Melissa realized again that Alan no longer hid the story of the family from her. Even after she heard his answer, she was amazed at how she no longer accepted it as a defense for Monica or even got immersed in the desperate sadness. Now she was feeling some sort of security by Alan¡¯s side, not anxiety or sadness. Surprisingly. It suddenly crossed her mind that the terrible deaths which Sandra mentioned might have been done by the Leopold Head, not Monica, but that was not the point of the story that the two should share now. ¡°So, it was a relief.¡± At that moment, Alan parted his lips. ¡°Is that all you feel?¡± ¡°Huh?¡± ¡°I want to hear it. I wonder if the desire to live in a winter that resembles me is still the same.¡± ¡°That¡­.¡± [T/N: POV shifts to Alan] Her cheeks were dyed with a pleasing color as if the paint was spreading. Alan laughed softly. It¡¯s only because her reddish face with the golden light just looks lovely. Having never handed over the initiative to anyone before, he didn¡¯t want to admit that his heart was completely taken by this fluffy woman. So he had been denying and turning a blind eye for quite a long time. It would not have been so confusing if she had been strong enough without surrendering, or hard and sharp enough that she could not be cut. She was just a woman who talked like a soft rippling wave and smiled like a fresh flower. ¡°I told you what I wanted, Melissa Collins.¡± He spoke while emphasising on her name. Alan thought he should have admitted earlier if he knew it would make him feel so comfortable. Honor and goal. A tiring life which he lived, like a person who couldn¡¯t see anything other than those two. Occasionally, under the pressure of death, Alan always stood there. Only because it was the only reason and meaning of his existence. However, he did not dislike this harmless intruder who arbitrarily demolished all the traces he had and the walls he had built. Even though he was unfamiliar with himself, he desperately needed her by his side at every moment. ¡°Why me? I¡­¡­ I¡­.¡± Melissa looked afraid for some reason. He pointed it out exactly so that she could never be confused, so why is she asking such a question with such a silly face? Alan¡¯s eyes narrowed slowly. ¡°I thought you¡­ I thought you wanted only beautiful things. So rather than people like me¡­¡­ Miss Monica Ellwood or Lady Farrington..¡­ Like Her Highness Princess Cynthia¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Melissa.¡± Alan stopped Melissa from speaking in a soft voice. His muse was already an artist by herself, so she was very imaginative and delicate. So if he let her continue talking, she might soon shed tears like beads. Alan didn¡¯t want it. Though it¡¯s a different thing that his mind thinks that, it¡¯s nice to see her shedding tears pitifully ¡°It¡¯s true that I only want beautiful and clean things. That¡¯s why I want you, Melissa Collins.¡± How many times do you want me to tell you? Melissa¡¯s face heated up like a peach at a small murmur he added in the last. ¡°I¡¯m not beautiful, I¡¯m not clean¡ª¡± ¡°Ah, are you doing this on purpose?¡± ¡°¡­¡­¡­No¡­¡­¡± Then Alan laughed like a breeze. Even if she acted as clever as a little fox, there was no reason why he shouldn¡¯t be willing to be fooled. ¡°Haven¡¯t I already said the word ¡°pretty¡± many times? If there are specific things you want me to say, there are a lot of them.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Your lips, your neckline, your soft nape, your body without a mole.¡± ¡°W-wait¡­.¡± How can he do this without changing the color of his face¡­¡­. Unable to bear the shame, Melissa managed to stop him. It felt like her ears were melting. The flame in the bonfire is small and is burning softly so it must have been this man who melted her like butter on pancakes. Melissa mumbled, covering her flushed face. ¡°I have a mole,¡­¡­On my right cheek.¡­.¡± At that moment, Alan¡¯s cold hands gently squeezed both of her wrists. Melissa shuddered at his sudden touch, who had low body temperature, while the hands that covered her face were gently pulled down. Like the falling petals¡­ ¡°How can I not know that?¡± Soon the breathtakingly beautiful face of a man filled her watery vision. ¡°It¡¯s driving me crazy.¡± Whispering, Alan gently kissed her right cheek. ¡°Hnng¡­¡­¡± As she was unable to avoid him, Alan laughed with a sigh as he looked down at Melissa, who was shivering in his sweet afterglow with her eyes closed. ¡°It¡¯s the tastiest part of my day, you.¡± ¡°Tastiest?¡± Melissa, who opened her eyes softly, asked with a slight frown on her fine brow, her brown eyelashes fluttering like butterflies. Alan gently wrapped her cheeks. He had never liked sweets since he was a child. It was natural that he never thought he wanted to eat decorations on the cake. However, when he looked at this small, shiny face, he strangely felt hungry. ¡°I mean. Like cherries on cupcakes.¡± At those gentle words, her lips, small and red like a cherry on top of whipped cream, gently opened. Alan felt the urge to lick it carefully. ¡°¡­¡­Indecent.¡± A song-like voice permeated his ears. ¡°I-I didn¡¯t even imagine that a person like you would say ¡®taste¡¯ in such a way. Sir Alan Leopold that I know is a very elegant businessman¡­¡­.¡± Her lips were acting rough, but strangely excited. It was so cute that Alan, who sighed, put his forehead on her smooth forehead. ¡°Melissa.¡± He said in a languid whisper ¡°I¡¯m done with my work. And today.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I¡¯ll be with you until morning.¡± ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? T/rant: hmm okay, it¡¯s pretty clear that Alan is a S and Melissa is a M ¡¥_( ?¡ã ?? ?¡ã)_/¡¥ Me after I read Monica gaslighting Maurice: On the brighter side¡­readers who are following this novel religiously and have been reading all the updates just wanna share the good news that there are only 20 more chapters for the main story to get finished Chapter 111 Chapter 111: Happy Birthday ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? T/N: this chap too is in 3 pov ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? Her tender heart beats uncontrollably at his words. Just by basking in the fireplace with him makes her happy like a dream, to be with him until morning. She wished she could hear this every day. Melissa, who was dizzy just by imagining it, bit her lips. At this point, it would not be strange to hear the words, I love you right now. So she thought she¡¯d asked him to tell her his pious confession. But Alan might be more tactless than she thought. His eyes and hands have already whispered love to her many times, yet he couldn¡¯t convey it in words. Melissa, who was wondering if he was embarrassed just like her, had to swallow her laughter without anyone knowing. It was because she imagined Alan, who was shy with his cheeks red in front of her, however he still looks as cold as the moon in the night sky. What am I thinking of this man who is like winter? Such shameful innermost thoughts should never be discovered. Melissa, who was in a hurry to change her expression, made eye contact with Alan as if nothing had happened. The straight gaze had been fixed on her ever since they entered this room together. As she watched the beautiful cold-colored eyes swaying from time to time, there was one thing that suddenly came to mind. ¡°Hey, Alan.¡± ¡°Yes.¡± ¡°Speaking of the cake¡­¡­.¡± Then a long finger tapped Melissa¡¯s lower lip. ¡°Cherry?¡± ¡°That¡¯s not it¡­¡­!¡± Obviously he was making fun of her. Melissa, with thin eyebrows furrowed, grabbed Alan¡¯s hand quickly and asked, ¡°What¡¯s the date today?¡± ¡°The day before the last day of October.¡± (30th October) ¡°¡­¡­Ah!¡± At those words, her pale brown eyes went round. ¡°What time is it? Isn¡¯t it almost midnight?¡± As she hurriedly grabbed his hand and shook it, Alan pulled out a pocket watch from his pants pocket. A silver watch with a laurel pattern embossed on the outside flashed golden in the light. Soon, as the cover opened, Melissa¡¯s eyes quickly checked the time. ¡°¡­¡­It¡¯s fifteen past eleven.¡± (Melissa) ¡°Why?¡± (Alan) ¡°That¡­ Tomorrow is my birthday.¡± (Melissa) His hand gently squeezed her hand. At what point did time pass so much? She was truly immersed in life here. Such new thoughts fluttered through Melissa¡¯s mind. In fact, the only proof of the months she spent here was the novel {Paradise on the Moon}, which she wrote in vain. And this man who had burned it down, ¡°Really? There¡¯s less than an hour left.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡­¡­She should feel bad, but she was rather flustered. In the end, the important thing wasn¡¯t the novel, it was Alan who made her write the story. Only that fact, in Melissa¡¯s heart, became as vivid as the color of a tulip filled with sunlight. * * * The two of them were sitting next to each other on the bed. With their legs outstretched and their backs leaning against the wall, they looked innocent like children. Melissa murmured, embracing the cushion in her arms deeper. ¡°I want to tell you a secret.¡± The little hand that did not hold the cushion was clasping affectionately with the hand of her loved one. Melissa added gently, tapping her fingertips on the back of Alan¡¯s hard and cool hand. ¡°Because it¡¯s the eve of my birthday.¡± ¡°¡­¡­You still have a secret story to tell.¡± Alan chuckled. She has a clear voice, as if she has something to say. Then he thought to listen quietly. ¡°You¡¯re a businessman. So think of this as a deal.¡± But Melissa suddenly said something unexpected. ¡°Deal?¡± ¡°Yes. You have to tell me your secret first.¡± Alan recalled the day Melissa asked about Monica Elwood one day. Then with the businessman¡¯s habit, he suggested that she exchange secrets with him. Even with such a ridiculous joke, it tickled his heart to see her diligently divulging secrets. Obviously, until then, he thought the ripples that Melissa Collins had created were so shallow that they wouldn¡¯t wet his ankles at best. But even though it was certainly him who kissed her lips that day, it was also him who got swallowed by the tsunami that Melissa created. Melissa clasped Alan¡¯s hand who didn¡¯t answer. ¡°You can¡¯t say no. It¡¯s the eve of my birthday.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Alan thought for a moment. Don¡¯t tell me you¡¯re trying to get your own revenge for that? Whatever it was, he was willing to follow it as she wanted, even if it wasn¡¯t the eve of her birthday. Whether it¡¯s revenge or something. ¡°All right, how many do you need?¡± ¡°Well¡­ one.¡± ¡°One is enough?¡± Alan raised his eyebrows unexpectedly. That day, he enjoyed the sweet secrets that Melissa, who blushed, painstakingly recited. Even thinking about it now, he was so mischievous that he pretended to be bored and asked for the next secret because he wanted to keep seeing her reaction. He also remembered the touch of her lips, which were wet with tears. But to think she only needed one. He didn¡¯t think that¡¯s a good deal for revenge. Then Melissa added hastily. ¡°Instead, you have to speak longer.¡± ¡°One thing? Longer?¡± ¡°Yes, that¡¯s the rule I just made¡­¡­.¡± Melissa¡¯s eyes shone like stars. Her voice was trembling faintly. Naturally, she didn¡¯t even think about revenge. She just wanted to calm her mind before telling Alan her secret. Because this is the most secret story she hasn¡¯t been able to tell anyone here. So now his low, calm voice was desperately needed. ¡°Well, when I was young¡­¡± An ecstatic low whispering voice came out only for one person and Melissa gently leaned her head on Alan¡¯s shoulder. ¡°I almost died by drowning in an ice pond.¡± Melissa held her breath at the sudden story. ¡°What? You must have been so scared¡­¡­.¡± ¡°No, it wasn¡¯t scary. At first, it was so cold that it was painful, but after a while it was rather¡­¡­¡­.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Comfortable.¡± Alan reached out his unclasped arm and stroked Melissa¡¯s head on his shoulder. Very gentle and softly as if touching something precious. The fragrant brown hair, which had been covered with the smell of the wood in the garden at night, and his white and hard hand, got gently buried in it. ¡°Shall we talk a little more?¡± As Melissa leaned her head and nodded her head, Alan¡¯s lips curved into a beautiful line. ¡°Well, sometimes I wonder if it was after then that I became so cold. I heard that if I had been pulled out a little later, my heart would have frozen.¡± ¡°Something like that¡­¡­.¡± ¡°But now that I think about it, I¡¯m rather fortunate that something like that happened.¡± Confused, Melissa looked up quickly and faced Alan. Her transparent brown eyes were glittering with water. ¡°Fortunate? What do you mean by that?¡± Alan¡¯s eyes were as serene as a lake as his eyes looked at her. ¡°Because you said you love me who is like winter.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Now it¡¯s your turn.¡± Instead of answering, Melissa thought, leaning her cheek on his shoulder. If Alan Leopold was as hot as summer, could she not have loved him? Of course, she would have loved him like the hot sun without knowing that her heart was burning. She would have been nervous every day about whether her heart would turn to ashes, and it would be terribly awful. In fact, calling him winter might be too simplistic. Because she has loved Alan Leopold unchangingly through the countless repeating seasons. ¡°Melissa.¡± And that feeling will remain the same in the future. ¡°Did you fall asleep?¡± Alan asked in a locked voice and she took a small breath. His early-morning rose garden-like body scent swept through Melissa¡¯s heart like a wave. ¡°¡­¡­ No, Alan. Then I¡¯ll tell you my secret.¡± ¡°Yes.¡± ¡°It¡¯s the first time I¡¯m telling you.¡± After a brief deep breath, Melissa, who had her nervous expression on her face, licked her trembling lips. ¡°Actually¡­¡­¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°This is my second life.¡± ¡°Melissa, you¡­¡­.¡± As soon as Alan stopped talking, she wondered if there would be a moment of silence, but he eventually burst into laughter. ¡°It can¡¯t be helped, you¡¯re an artist.¡± Then he kissed the tip of her little nose repeatedly. It was clear that he thought it was a joke. In fact, this response did not deviate from Melissa¡¯s expectations at all. She just closed her eyes reflexively at the unexpected kiss, thinking that Alan smiles a lot today, it¡¯s a joyful birthday eve. ¡°What was your first life like? Were you happy? Did you find winter-like love?¡± He asked, with a smile on his face that he couldn¡¯t bear to hide. As if he is willing to talk to his own eccentric and lovely novelist. ¡°No.¡± But Melissa¡¯s answer was dry. ¡°It¡¯s like life here. timid, boring¡­¡­ I was lonely.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Tuk, Alan rested his cheek on Melissa¡¯s head, who was leaning back helplessly on his shoulder. as if consoling her in his own way. Their bodies fit together like a puzzle. ¡°I used to think that I didn¡¯t know you for ten years at most¡­¡­¡­.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°To think you had a first life. It¡¯s kind of odd.¡± Melissa smiled slightly. He must have thought it¡¯s a joke, but she¡¯s unfamiliar with Alan, who¡¯s talking to her with all his heart. There may be a belief in being kind to someone who¡¯s about to have a birthday. He¡¯s a gentleman anyway. ¡°No. I died of an illness at the age of twenty.¡± Melissa murmured with a misty face. ¡°It was a short life.¡± The voice sounded distant as if she was going to disappear any momentarily. Alan, who felt strange anxiety even though he was holding her hand tightly, turned gently. Melissa¡¯s brown eyes, which tilted her head, sank into a dark light. Her face was full of emotions. Alan looked at her with a strange expression and a silent look. At that moment, a dim clock sounded from the far corridor. It was midnight, the last night of October. ¡°Happy birthday.¡± Alan, who whispered little, kissed with her small chin in his hand. It was a sweet, warm kiss like a hug. When his lips fell for a moment, he whispered quietly, close enough to feel each other¡¯s breath clearly. ¡°Melissa, who smells like wood.¡± Melissa¡¯s little lips overlapped again over his beautiful lips. As if that was her only breath, with a longing and earnest attraction. The tip of Melissa¡¯s tongue did not have the slightest leeway to convey her sincerity with words. So she hugged the neck of her beloved, who offered her passionate kisses, hoping that her sincerity would reach him. Second life. She¡¯d be lying if she wasn¡¯t bored sometimes, but this is the first time she has stepped into the 21 in her life. So it¡¯s all new from now on, Alan. I¡¯m so happy to have this gift-like start with you. Star-like tears slowly flowed down the cheeks from the slender corners of the eyes. It was a deep night when the clock sounded lazy. *** T/rant: idk why¡­but I was embarrassed while Translating this chapter??? Help??? Also, alan my dude, you could have directly said the date and not go around in such a way and ruin my mood, waste my time. Why, why do you have to go around in such a way, instead of just saying the date in a manner which humans use??? Readers comment a lot, like this chapter a lot, you are the only reason why I am able to reach here, love ya! Chapter 112 Chapter 112: Her Cosy World That I never Knew ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? Eternal moments soaked two people all night. The flood poured in without a break like waves constantly rush in and out, as deep and distant as if to swallow each other. Early in the morning, there was still time before dawn. The lovers, who had gone against the passionate current together, lay leaning against each other. In a rusty aftertaste like melted sugar, the two chests that went up and down at the same speed had a non-stop conversation. ¡°¡­¡­I didn¡¯t know you had known me for such a long time.¡± Melissa murmured softly with a dazed look while clinging deeper to his damp chest. She doesn¡¯t seem to want to create any gaps between them. ¡°Of course.¡± Alan hugged Melissa tenderly as he smiled gently. ¡°How could I not know when you looked at me so openly?¡± Melissa¡¯s heart thumped again at the words. The fact that there was nothing left to be ashamed of and nothing more to show him gave her a happy sense of futility. After being overworked all night, she decided to spare her words and focus on Alan¡¯s voice to rest her fluttering heart. ¡°¡­¡­But the gazes¡­¡­.¡± Alan became morbidly repulsed by the gazes people after being declared the sole heir to the Leopold family. Unpleasant, dirty gazes groping and crawling on his skin. Whether it was envy, awe, longing, or any other emotion, underneath it all was something nasty and repulsive. Without exception. Thus, he hated people. And it was scary. He felt the same way about himself. But out of that boring group of humans, a presence had sprung that grabbed his attention. One day at a glorious royal ball, taking the role of the only son and decoration of Ian Leopold, the pillar of the kingdom. There was a little girl. Her brown eyes, which were staring at him with a blushing face, were very explicit and had an undeniable excitement. Alan knew this kind of look very well. But those mysterious eyes that contained a terrible combination had a sad glow. ¡®It¡¯s not a bad feeling¡­.¡¯ Her eyes, which were like droplets of water, gave a strange resonance to young Alan¡¯s heart. Of course, the other person would not have imagined that she got discovered. Alan was a truly wicked child, with a gift for stealthily recognizing and feigning ignorance. Ever since then, without fail, their eyes have secretly met among the people. Among the many glances, it was the only one that was not unpleasant, with a soft and fluffy feel. He didn¡¯t want to admit it, but he did feel that way. It was true that the presence of the person giving that gaze began to bother him, but nothing changed in reality. The fact that the other person is not from a well-known family is not an issue for him. Alan did not know what love is. To be exact, he didn¡¯t even want to know. Such a trivial and soft thing could never be his concern, nor should it be. His feelings were just a slight curiosity or annoyance about something unfamiliar. That¡¯s all it was going to be. But the owner of those mellow eyes was clearly in love with him. There is no way that persistence and bluntness are not what the world refers to as ¡®Love¡¯. Nevertheless, she didn¡¯t come close once. She had just been watching him for years with silent yearning. It was a mystery. Women who watched him like that would have come up to him and talked to him, or else they would have spilled their drink or dropped their handkerchief in front of him. It was without exception. Alan despised such a thing, but the fact that the droplet-like girl never came to him was strangely unsettling. It was refreshing, yet at the same time, it bothered him. However, Leopold¡¯s daily life was more important and urgent than that. So he just tried to cover it up. Then one day, the woman finally approached. Late enough that the little boy and girl grew up and became adults. Years had passed, and it was autumn after he first noticed that droplet-like gaze. No, he couldn¡¯t say she came close. It would have been a coincidence. She didn¡¯t know he was going to pass the boulevard in the early evening that day. Disillusioned as usual amidst unwanted people, he snuck out of the meeting. Secretly without a single attendant. For him, it was a rare occurrence. Was he doing all this just to meet that woman? A grass-like woman with a book in her arms opened the door and bumped into his chest. Alan was greatly astonished by the ridiculous coincidence, but he was a man who was very good at concealing emotions. However, the book she dropped touched his nerves strangely. {When love has become a thing of the past} Could it be that love has already become a thing of the past? It was just the book title, but he strangely felt stuffy. So, now that it has been a past, she won¡¯t come close? Did she find the right person? Right. She¡¯s now an adult, so she must have already been looking for a man who suits her. A man who resembles her, glistening and gentle. Not a monster like him. At that moment, the woman said. ¡ªCan you pick it up for me? Then Alan froze uncharacteristically. A woman dropping something and him not picking it up is an act of insulting herself. He was embarrassed that he had forgotten that common sense and had just stopped. The moment he belatedly picked up the book and handed it to her, the woman said again. ¡ªI¡¯ll be at Antress¡¯ coffee shop all afternoon tomorrow. Haa. He silently sighed. Women are the same, it was clear. He laughed at himself because he had held secret expectations for many years. ¡ªLet¡¯s pretend I didn¡¯t hear it. That doesn¡¯t make any sense to say that he didn¡¯t hear. But he thought it would be nice if he could do that. In a life that would not be strange for him to give up at any time due to suffocation and hatred, he had always regarded this woman as a small but dazzling pleasure. If she hadn¡¯t said anything, he wouldn¡¯t have lost his old pleasure. It was the same for him who couldn¡¯t approach her first, but if only she had just remained a distant and mysterious being. The thought made him laughably resentful. Disillusioned, Alan turned coldly, but he unknowingly looked back at her behind him. And the eyes of the woman, Melissa Collins, had not changed at all, and were still fluttering with the same soft waves as that day eight years ago. Alan was seized with an unbelievable feeling of fascination as he hastily departed that place. He persuaded himself even more. She¡¯s a special woman. Still, that gaze of hers isn¡¯t unpleasant. On the contrary¡­ It was then that he began to observe her as someone other than Alan Leopold, hiding himself in a red wig that he found somewhere in the spacious mansion. He stayed as close and stealthy as a shadow, not knowing what she would do to him or what he wanted from her. Alan was ecstatic just by doing nothing and just merely watching silently. Not because it was an unacceptable deviation but he wouldn¡¯t have enjoyed it this much had he been with someone else. Not unless Melissa was involved. The world she lived in was so small and cozy. Alan was surprisingly new to her peaceful routine, and the more he knew, the more he wanted to know. He thought she was closer to art. In other words, she was like literature, painting, and music. A small world that gives him an indirect glimpse into a dimension he has never experienced. He had never had a hobby like this, but she quickly became his treasured and secret habit. [Dear Sir Alan Leopold] The letter that he received shortly after that¡­¡­ It was dense and exceeded expectations. He couldn¡¯t believe that the red-faced, shy woman secretly had this kind of heart. That¡¯s why he was trembling to return the letter back to her. It wasn¡¯t his will to dance with the innocent woman, but he thought it would be good for her too. But looking at her terrified, tender face that seemed to hold back tears throughout the dance, Alan knew how hateful his existence was. Ha. He brought this upon himself. Late at night, in the carriage back to the mansion, Alan burst out laughing as if he was embarrassed. At the same time, he couldn¡¯t take his eyes off the love poem filled with clumsy but unmasked yearning contained in the envelope. Sparkling under a dim light for a long time. He questioned himself whether it was not absurd or unpleasant. Rather, he felt the soft tide fill his empty heart. The sensation was so amazing that he sometimes read it aloud and pondered it before he went to sleep. * * * ¡°Nonsense¡­¡­. You hated me, Alan.¡± Melissa, lifting her head off his arms, muttered slightly. ¡°The day I bumped into you in the street, you had scornful eyes¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Scornful?¡± Alan chuckled softly. ¡°That¡¯s a great imagination.¡± ¡°Well, what about the ball? You were angry that Prince Bentley asked you to dance with me. What about that?¡± ¡°I wanted to keep you to myself.¡± ¡°What¡­?¡± He reached out his arm and stroked Melissa¡¯s head. ¡°I didn¡¯t want you to be known.¡± His hand went down to the cheek and soon swept her delicate neck as if to drawa smooth line. ¡°I should be the only one who knows. It¡¯s upsetting.¡± ¡°What kind of¡­.¡± ¡°And it¡¯s you who gets in trouble if Alan Leopold shows his favor.¡± Suddenly his cold hand naturally gripped Melissa¡¯s soft chest, and as if she were used to it, she took it off and fell into thought. ¡®Well, I¡¯ve been harassed by fierce women just because I danced with Alan¡­¡­.¡¯ Alan murmured like the wind, as her heart was about to tingle with the still vivid memory of the day. ¡°I don¡¯t know if it¡¯s Troy.¡± Chapter 113 Chapter 113: My Name ¡°I don¡¯t know if it¡¯s Troy.¡± At those words, the fluttering eyelashes stopped moving. ¡°¡­¡­Phew, Alan.¡± ¡°Melissa.¡± Melissa smiled dejectedly at the low tone of the nonchalant answer. ¡°Do you want to bring up the story of the novel you burned down again? You¡¯re so shameless.¡± ¡°That¡¯s my name.¡± ¡°Your name?¡± But Alan brought up an unexpected story. ¡°I told you I was an adoptee. I wasn¡¯t Alan Leopold from the start.¡± ¡°Huh¡­? Then Troy¡­¡­.¡± ¡°It was my name when I was an abandoned orphan. There was no last name.¡± It was a voice that didn¡¯t sound like a lie. Did Alan ever lie to her in the first place? She barely opened her mouth, who had been licking her lips for a long time trying to find words to answer. ¡°I-I didn¡¯t know. In the novel {Fugitive}¡­¡­.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°It¡¯s¡­ a famous novel¡­¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I-I really didn¡¯t know, I thought it was¡­¡­.¡± Alan couldn¡¯t figure out why Melissa was so flustered. Did she think she touched the wound? He just thought she was cute, squeezing her in his arms, soaking up all of her body. ¡°It¡¯s okay.¡± But if he says she¡¯s cute here, her face will turn red again and she¡¯ll hit his chest. With a small soft fist like a ball of cotton. Alan, who tried hard to hold back his laughter, skillfully cleared his mind. A gentle whisper followed. ¡°The day I rescued you from the cold snow.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°The notebook that you always carry with you¡­¡­.¡± When he read her notebook as she slept softly in his carriage. What words can describe that amazing feeling he felt that time? It wasn¡¯t just the fact that the woman who loved him so much was making her own story out of a person who was obviously Alan Leopold. ¡®¡­Troy?¡¯ Alan Leopold¡¯s disgrace. Deep in his heart, a perfect resemblance of his was throwing up the clumsy feelings and sincerity that he had hidden so much that he could forget. To dismiss it as mere coincidence¡­¡­. The inexplicable shock made him feel certain conviction. To Melissa Collins, this reckless, foolish, mysterious woman who ran barefoot in the middle of a deserted snow. The cursed life, where he didn¡¯t know how to stop as he ran with the pain in his lungs breaking in the darkness without an exit. He suffers from one goal supported by evil as a milestone, but he has only walked the given path. But Alan realized that he actually needed a place to lean on, the moment he wanted to lean on this little woman. He thought it was ridiculous, but he felt like she could teach him all the reasons for his life that he didn¡¯t even know. Why does he have to endure this life of deceit and anxiety? He wonders if he will be able to achieve the ideal he has longed for after going through this hardship. Maybe he just wanted to believe it, but it didn¡¯t matter now. Alan¡¯s soul, which had been trembling all his life in the deep darkness, had no intention of missing a ray of light and warmth that he had first discovered. After that day, he spent less time sleeping, willingly to overwork in the midst of his overflowing work, and even mobilized those who permeated the streets like moss just to watch Melissa Collins. As Alan Leopold, there was a reason why he didn¡¯t get close. In order to prevent damage to his reputation for holding the family in the future because that was his only goal. However, in reality, he did not want to give filthy humans the limelight and decoration to a woman who lives like grass in his own small world. Therefore, he had no choice but to hover around in an unfamiliar appearance while hiding his identity. But she was deeply in love with him, so she would be glad he took the time for her. No matter what he looks like or in what way. And he too enjoyed every moment of watching Melissa. It was unintentional that Alan suddenly stepped into her life. Just as people often visit art galleries and calmly appreciate their favorite paintings, he also intended to quietly look into Melissa¡¯s late face or trivial daily life. Until a man shows up. Unlike him, the man seemed to belong in the same world as her and he was so angry that he couldn¡¯t stand it. So, unlike his usual self, he lost his composure and showed himself to Melissa Collins. He just became an idiot who talks to the artwork. It can¡¯t be love. * * * ¡°Melissa.¡± Alan, who felt her shoulder flinching on his arm, stopped talking and asked. ¡°Were you scared because of me?¡± ¡°Well¡­.¡± While Melissa hesitated to answer, he said in a tone as serene as a winter lake. ¡°Even then, you would have loved me.¡± ¡­¡­What arrogant prejudice have you got? ¡°Alan, love is not an indulgence.¡± ¡°I wanted to know you.¡± ¡°But¡­.¡± ¡°I wanted to protect you.¡± Closed and bizarre thinking that doesn¡¯t understand that goodwill and good intentions can also cause fear. The moment the voice, which was so twisted that it sounded so pure, was about to be appalled. ¡°If you need an apology, I¡¯ll do as much as you want.¡± He whispered in an earnest voice. ¡°You teach me how, Melissa.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± She thought. Alan¡¯s apology may be a loving effort, but not a genuine reflection. His feelings are by no means perfect. But one thing was clear. That his deficiency is the weight and shade of a brilliant coffin called Leopold. Little Troy couldn¡¯t have hoped for the crown, much less. Then, how should she face his shadow when she loves Alan Leopold? ¡°Alan.¡± Melissa, who was struggling to the point where her fine forehead was frowned, managed to move her lips. ¡°It won¡¯t be easy, but I¡­¡­.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I want to understand you.¡± Alan¡¯s deficiencies, which seemed infinitely perfect from a distance. She loved him for nearly a decade, but she didn¡¯t know any of his wounds and pains. Because she thought there would be no dark side to him who was brilliant. So he wasn¡¯t the only one who was obsessed with prejudice. Although the scar will remain, she hoped she could be the one who would apply daily medication and treat it well so that Alan¡¯s wound could heal. Right now, and in the future. With that in mind, Melissa continued. ¡°The fact that you knew me for a very long time, that you thought of me special and loved me enough to memorize my poems, that my novel gave you hope, and that I, at the age of twenty-one, finally became your lover¡­¡­¡­.¡± Then Alan grinned and tapped Melissa on the tip of her little nose. ¡°Breathe, Melissa.¡± ¡°Haa¡­ It¡¯s unbelievably overwhelming¡­¡­.¡± ¡°¡­¡­Oh no, I want to make you gasp again. With your lips.¡± In response to that languid answer, Melissa brought her intertwined hand to her lover¡¯s chest and hit it. Of course, there was no power. Alan laughed like a mist because he felt it was like a love confession. ¡°Does this mean forgiveness?¡± This time Melissa burst into a sigh of laughter. ¡°Huh.¡± It¡¯s ridiculous. What should I do with you? Melissa shook her head quietly, but murmured in a refreshing voice. ¡°Yes¡­ it¡¯s all a long way off now.¡± Then Alan took the clasped hand to his lips and kissed on the back of her hand. ¡°You¡¯re Alan Leopold, so I understand you didn¡¯t come up to me like this. It wouldn¡¯t have been easy for you and me. And¡­¡­.¡± ¡°If I hadn¡¯t followed you around, I wouldn¡¯t have saved you from the snow.¡± ¡°¡­¡­My goodness.¡± It was both embarrassing and annoying. She couldn¡¯t believe he said the words that he has been following her around. Thatgreat Alan Leopold. ¡°There¡¯s nothing worse than that, Melissa.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Alan solemnly added to Melissa, who was lost in her thoughts, thinking, ¡°I wish it was me who saved you from falling into an ice pond.¡± stroking his rosy cheeks with a sullen gaze. ¡°Even an artist is not allowed to go for a walk in such heavy snow. Don¡¯t do that again.¡± ¡°Ah.¡± As if she had thought of something, Melissa opened her lips. ¡°In fact, that day¡­ I jumped in the snow thinking I wanted to be hugged by you. As if I was possessed.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I looked like a foo didn¡¯t I?¡± Alan answered that immediately without any hesitation. ¡°Yes, you could have come up and hugged me like crazy. I would have hugged you.¡± ¡°But just thinking about you used to hurt me. You hurt me so much. Even just by imagining it.¡± ¡°Well¡­.¡± Alan shook his head slowly, turned around and hugged his little lover. Struggling under tight pressure, Melissa became quiet only after sticking her small face out over his broad shoulders. ¡°Still, wasn¡¯t I kinder when I wasn¡¯t in Alan Leopold¡¯s form? I even brought you a letter and picked up a book before you asked for it.¡± ¡°Are you talking about that eerie mask and red hair?¡± Melissa gave a shrill voice, disgusted. ¡°That gave me goosebumps!¡± ¡°Gave you goosebumps¡­¡­.¡± Alan whispered softly in a low tone with a smile. ¡°Isn¡¯t that the same when it¡¯s intolerably good?¡± ¡°What? Ah¡­.¡± Only then did Melissa notice that he was standing up firmly. But his arms were wrapped around her with ridiculous force for her to pull herself apart. As she shifted her gaze with a burning face, and his cold lips touched her neck. Next, the hot tongue. ¡°Ugh¡­.¡± Melissa¡¯s shoulders flinched because the touch was so dense and sensual. The moment she recalled how he melted her like butter all night, her stomach was numb. ¡°¡­¡­Alan!¡± Soon she felt the ripple-like goosebumps spread throughout her body. It was because Alan was breathing in with his head buried in the back of her neck. ¡°I think you¡¯re getting goosebumps now, too.¡± ¡°That¡­!¡± Alan, with a beautiful, insidious smile, shifted his posture. After laying her down on her back, Alan¡¯s lips, starting from her neck, and kissing her shoulders, chest and ribs like a cat drinking water, reached her slim belly button, and even below it. ¡°Ah¡­.¡± ¡°So.¡± Before she realised it, Alan was looking down at her like a triumphant predator. Licking his wet lips with his bright red tongue ¡°How do you feel when the person you loved so much loves you?¡± ¡°If you¡¯re trying to tease me, I¡¯ll go back to the room¡­¡­.¡± Alan, who looked down at Melissa who hurriedly dodged his gaze, smiled softly. Then he pointed to his lips and whispered in secret. ¡°Can¡¯t you see this?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I told you not to say anything you don¡¯t mean.¡± ¡°¡­¡­But it will be morning soon. If you don¡¯t sleep a little¡­¡­.¡± Alan¡¯s mouth drew a beautiful arc as her light colored eyelashes trembled. ¡°You wouldn¡¯t be in a position to worry about me.¡± ¡°You¡¯re busy with work¡­ Hup.¡± Melissa¡¯s fragile excuse was swallowed up without a trace. Again, Alan laughed silently at her small arms as they happily grabbed her neck. This prevented him from hearing the answer she had evaded, but it didn¡¯t matter. The person who loved me so much loves me. Because he knows what it feels like. Chapter 114 Chapter 114: Love But No Future ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? I fell asleep like a wave and woke up like a baby in Alan¡¯s big arms. The light of dawn shone through the curtains. Dawn is coming soon, and before that, I must let my lover go. Outside waiting for him. As I was immersed in those thoughts, Alan muttered as he buried his head in the nape of my neck, perhaps recognizing that I had woken up with an irregular breathing sound. His voice sounded sleepy. ¡°¡­¡­I want to live here, forever.¡± (Alan) Even though I was astonished inside because I didn¡¯t know he was awake, I whispered softly as I stroked Alan¡¯s strong arm that covered my chest. ¡°Is the principality good? You can just live here¡­¡­.¡± Wherever he is, I wish I could be with him. But his gentle answer hardened me. ¡°No, inside you.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Like now.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡­¡­I can¡¯t believe I¡¯m having this vulgar conversation with Alan Leopold. I¡¯m surprised he was a man who could say this, but we really¡­¡­ I can¡¯t believe we¡¯re lovers. It¡¯s more like a novel than a novel. (T/N: it¡¯s like their story is more novel-like than the actual novel) As Melissa Collins still lives today, even in my previous life, my birthday was one of the insignificant things I had. But I received Alan Leopold as a gift on my birthday¡­.¡­. Can I think of it as a celebration that I¡¯ve never received before? But it¡¯s still too much for me¡­¡­. He insinuated me with this stupid idea. ¡°¡­¡­Melissa.¡± Alan said as I secretly wrinkled my nose because the breath on my shoulder tickled like a feather. ¡°It¡¯s boring to stay here.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I know you won¡¯t like it.¡± He hugged me a little tighter. whispering like a sigh. ¡°I know, but I can¡¯t let you go. I¡¯m sorry.¡± ¡°Alan.¡± ¡°I¡¯m scared. Of you running away from me.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± The answer is that I will not run away from here. If so, it might be able to appease him, who is whining unusually. But I couldn¡¯t bring myself to say it. I love Alan, but the four seasons of Sourne Kingdom and Florin, the street where flowers grow on every side road, the old two-story house, and my friendly people. Simply put, I missed everything I had left behind. If it hadn¡¯t been for every moment of effort to suppress it, I would have burst into tears again and again. This is a completely separate matter from loving Alan Leopold, but¡­¡­. Anyway, he is also a Sornean, and I heard that the management of the new division in the Principality is a kind of test for Leopold¡¯s succession to management. So it was not unbearably difficult to believe that it would not be too late to return to the kingdom. Yet. But if he says he won¡¯t go back to Sourne, and he wants me to stay in this huge cage, I¡¯ll¡­¡­. ¡°Alan, I¡­¡­.¡± Then Alan shoved his cheek over my hair and whispered in a deep voice. ¡°¡­¡­I don¡¯t want to go to work. I want to stay with you.¡± ¡°Ah¡­.¡± I let out a moan like a sigh. He¡¯s so childish. It¡¯s strangely admirable to see Alan, who was only as cold and sharp as a winter night, clinging to me and whining like a baby. On the other hand, it¡¯s fascinating that I can feel the love and affection of such a big man.¡­. But after hearing enough about how important the new division of Lunoa, which he is now leading, and how important it means to Alan, I decided to cheer up this big, beautiful baby. As an adult who turned twenty-one before him. ¡°I¡¯ll wait for you, go ahead.¡± As I kissed the side of the hard, cool arm that wrapped around my body, I smiled broadly until my cheeks swell. ¡°This is your home where I am.¡± * * * The lips that were slightly cool but soft like clouds, touched and fell off my hazy forehead. Next was the eyelid, then the tip of the nose. It smelled like watery rose petals. Next up is¡­¡­. I moved my lips like a crucian carp in anticipation of the wonderful kiss he would give me. Of course, I couldn¡¯t even open my eyes properly. Then the wind-like laughter dissipated, and he kissed me on the cheek. Not my lips! ¡°¡­Ugh¡­¡­.¡± Desperate¡­¡­¡­ he was so obnoxious that I could not bear to lift my heavy eyelids. ¡°Alan¡­¡­!¡± ¡°I didn¡¯t mean to wake you up.¡± Alan, who was ready to go out, stood by the bed. A cloud of dim light lay on his shoulder. It was as cold and dim as his eyes. My heart jumped again as I looked at him neatly dressed in a black coat. He¡¯s breathtakingly beautiful even without anything on, but this perfect figure is Alan Leopold himself, whom I¡¯ve loved for many years. No one will know about the traces inside unless they untie that neat cravat. That fact was unbearably thrilling. ¡°Sleep more, Melissa.¡± As he said, I had not slept properly until dawn and I was in a very confused state. I don¡¯t know what kind of person he is. He is able to go to the office with a normal face. Far from looking exhausted, his face isn¡¯t even swollen. He looks like someone from a different world. ¡°I¡¯ll be back not too late.¡± He gently stroked my head and cheek. He¡¯s trying to turn around like this¡­ But, I could never let that happen. ¡°Why?¡± I hurriedly tugged his sleeve, and Alan turned around with puzzled eyes. Facing those enchanting blue-gray eyes, I tapped my lips without a word. ¡°¡­¡­Ha.¡± Then he laughed like crazy. As I watched the jewel-like eyes narrow like the falling moon, he swallowed my lips at once. The kiss that started sweetly became deep enough to tingle to the root of the tongue in the blink of an eye. I¡¯m out of breath. Even though my senses were still hazy, my heart beat wildly, causing blood to circulate all over the body. Firecrackers went off in my head, and the world spun around. Just by a single kiss¡­¡­. I can¡¯t believe there¡¯s such an ecstatic kiss. I think it¡¯s crazy. I bit Alan¡¯s lower lip, who gave me a stormy morning, and, unfortunately, I needed to let him go. But he came over to me. His chest pressed heavily on me, and my head on a fluffy pillow was buried so deep that it could no longer be buried. ¡°Uh-huh, uh¡­!¡± It¡¯s a pity, but I managed to get him up by hitting Alan¡¯s broad back, who had lost his composure. ¡°Ha¡­.¡± Alan looked down at me with dejected eyes and a sigh. Unlike before, he looked strangely disorganized. Feeling indescribable, I grabbed the blanket tightly and moved my feet. Of course, his voice was calm and he didn¡¯t forget to imitate the winner¡¯s leisure. ¡°I will be late. I¡¯ll be back.¡± But I wouldn¡¯t be able to fall asleep again either. * * * I took the cup of coffee the maid handed me and gave a small greeting. ¡°Thank you.¡± After Alan left the mansion, I chose to stay in his room instead of going back to the detached house. My tender maid left, and above all, there was no reason to insist on staying in my room because the novel {Paradise on the Moon} was not left. In this room filled with Alan¡¯s scent, it felt very good to be lazy, savoring light meals, tea, and coffee brought by the employees. But I¡¯m not just having a peaceful time right now. Actually, I was facing one problem. The fact that Alan¡¯s voice, who was afraid of me leaving and heartbreakingly pathetic, only deepened my anxieties. So I decided to think hard first. Watching the steam rise like a sigh from a coffee cup. ¡°I¡­.¡± I love being with Alan. I love the time I spend with him, the feelings I have for him, and the love he pours out on me. I love him so much that I can¡¯t put it into words. But I will slowly start to hate all of this one by one. Except for being his wife We exchanged hot breaths and shed tears at the warmth that penetrated our skin, vowing that we were the only lovers. But those beautiful and splendid words¡­¡­¡­ Can prove nothing. It was, of course, grateful and moving that he told me of the many pieces of his life that I did not know and the deep feelings he had in the past. To be honest, there were many moments when I felt unbelievable throughout listening to his story because his feelings for me were incredibly deep. It¡¯s already been a long time. So we started together, and we ended up meeting at the same point. The only difference was that I had been holding that feeling all the time, and it took Alan a while because he had to come back a long way, unaware of it. The person whom I had loved all my life found out that he wanted me with an ardent tenacity. How could this be a reality? I never dreamed that such a miraculous fortune would come to me. ¡°But will he ever¡­¡­.¡± Want to marry me? Even though it was only this morning that I met him, who had lost his reason because he was kissing me, I keep feeling ugly. Love and marriage are completely different matters. I don¡¯t doubt that his heart is quite deep, but I can¡¯t bring up the marriage story with just one feeling that might change at any time. ¡°Anyway, Alan will become the head of Leopold, shoulder to shoulder with the royal family¡­¡­.¡± In an instant, the faces of those who admired him flashed in front of my eyes one after another. Incomparably beautiful and elegant, these young girls are perfectly suited to the position of the wife of a top businessman. It¡¯s pathetic that I¡¯m already thinking like this, but the truth is, last night I wanted him to talk about marriage more than anything else. I know it¡¯s a difficult story in reality, and just being in love with him is like a dream to me¡­.¡­. But even if it was a hasty confession poured out blinded by love, I hoped that it would reassure him. That was my truth. I know it¡¯s ridiculous greed, but the more I love him, the more I get scared. The day will come when I have to let him go. ¡°And he didn¡¯t even tell me he loved me. The word love passed by, but in that way¡­¡­¡­.¡± No, Alan Leopold loves me. There¡¯s no way he doesn¡¯t. I can tell just by looking at his eyes. Nevertheless, the reason why he keeps bothering me, who did not tell me his love, is probably because of my shabby self, who cannot stand proudly beside him. Love but no future. ¡°I can¡¯t even propose to him.¡­.¡± How long do I have to worry about my love? When will I be able to fully rest in love? Even today, I had to feel happiness, sadness, and desperation because of love that was dazzling like a flash of light. ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? TL/N: Hello readers! I just had to make a small announcement here, readers who like this novel and want to read the climax chapters and the side stories pls join our server, I¡¯ll be posting the chapters in my server. BUT I¡¯M NOT DROPPING THIS NOVEL. IT¡¯S BEING TRANSLATED BY ME. Chapter 115 Chapter 115: Eyes and Ears of the Street ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? Everything went smoothly. For ridiculous reasons, there was a crisis of withdrawal from the new division, but as a reaction, Alan overcame the crisis. Investment was nothing more than a shallow fluke in the first place. What¡¯s easy to get is what goes away easily, and Alan never pursued those kinds of things on his own. Isn¡¯t trade the most outstanding weapon he possesses? So maybe it wasn¡¯t something to worry about from the beginning. ¡ªGod will never give you more than you can handle. It is the second quarter since Alan Leopold anchored to the sea of ??the Principality of Lunoa. It was definitely going smoothly, as she said. But there was one problem. It was good to have established a trading company and bring traders together, but the day he had to take them to the Hwa Empire drew near. When Alan dropped out of the academy many years ago, he began training as the successor to manage many of the family¡¯s businesses. From then on, he had looked at even the slightest thing without exception. Even though the office was full of his subordinates waiting for his orders, he never let them take over his work. Such an attitude was of course the same when he came to the Principality. No, rather, he became more fanatical about business. The team that got out of his father¡¯s shadow for the first time,was led under his name. Since this was the key to getting Leopold completely in his hand one day. But¡­¡­. for the first time, Alan wanted to reduce his share of the work. He laughed at himself, but he didn¡¯t want to go to the Hwa Empire. ¡°You look tired. If you didn¡¯t sleep properly¡­¡­¡­.¡± Alan, who was resting his chin on his hand, looked up. It wasn¡¯t that he didn¡¯t sleep well last night, but he was awake without falling asleep for a moment. It¡¯s because every moment of contact with Melissa felt so precious to let it go in vain because of a sleep that won¡¯t matter even if he stayed up all day. After realizing that the mysterious feeling he had been holding in his heart for the past year was love, Alan felt like a wrecked ship drifting aimlessly in a storm. He didn¡¯t know that the desire and love for her hidden in him would be big and deep. He tried to pick it up, but it was already out of control, and it engulfed him before he knew it. ¡°¡­¡­Anderson.¡± ¡°Yes.¡± ¡°The business trip to the Empire this Tuesday¡­¡­¡­.¡± Alan was hesitating uncharacteristically. Anderson, the only Lunoa executive in the new division, noticed something strange. No, in fact, it¡¯s not recent that this talented young boss has started to get strangely disturbed. Anderson couldn¡¯t help but notice him because he was the closest assistant to Alan. After Alan came to the Principality, to be exact, around the end of summer. It must have been since then. But apart from that, as a businessman, he was still as sharp and shrewd as a blade. So, whether it was a sudden visit, homesickness, the burden of being the director, or the shock that the long-awaited investment case was overturned, Anderson thought it would be a passing wind¡­¡­. ¡°Can you take care of it?¡± Anderson heard something Alan wouldn¡¯t possibly say. ¡°That means¡­.¡± ¡°Well, I don¡¯t want to go.¡± Perplexed, Anderson asked awkwardly, smoothing out his neatly brushed hair. ¡°Pardon me¡­..?¡± What do you mean you don¡¯t want to go? Shouldn¡¯t you give a more plausible reason than that? Like a medical student, Anderson spoke with a serious face. ¡°As expected, you must have had a hard time. No matter how young you are, you haven¡¯t had a single vacation in months¡ª¡± ¡°No.¡± Alan answered with a sigh, rubbing his face. ¡°¡­¡­ It¡¯s the other way around.¡± ¡°What do you mean?¡± ¡°It¡¯s not that I¡¯m tired, I¡¯m full of energy¡± ¡°What? But why¡­ ah.¡± The blonde gentleman who had narrowed his brow as if puzzled stopped talking for a moment. Alan certainly once said this at a regular meeting one day. ¡ªIt is true that I¡¯m seeing a woman. I¡¯m in my prime. The cause of turning his back on the great Riemann family and obscuring the future of the business.¡­. ¡°Lord, I mean, is this what I think¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Because I¡¯m in my prime.¡± Alan smiled faintly. The smile on that cold face was mysteriously rare and beautiful, so Leon Anderson briefly forgot to say. ¡°So, I am thinking of reorganizing the division of work at this point. I¡¯d like to lighten up my work a little, is that fine?¡± ¡°¡­¡­Do you mean to me?¡± ¡°I can step down from my position at any time. The only task given in the first place was to lay the foundation for a new business. But you¡¯re different.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Anderson doubted his ears. Alan Leopold, ten years younger than him, but all his tracks were enough to be admired. So he joined his new division without hesitation. But he¡¯s talking to me like he¡¯s going to hand over the business and leave. It was so sudden that Anderson didn¡¯t know what to say. ¡°Why all of a sudden¡­¡­.¡± It would be a great opportunity and challenge for him to take over some of the control of the business.¡­. It¡¯s not enough to entrust the business trip to the Hwa Empire to him, to think that he wanted to reorganizing his workload. This is absolutely not like Alan Leopold. Does fiery love make everything feel useless? Even so, he couldn¡¯t figure out why it should be him. It was out of respect that he wanted to follow Alan Leopold most closely, not something he was hoping for. After all, he was the youngest on the staff. ¡°It¡¯s not a sudden thought.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Didn¡¯t you say you wanted to bring your lover, who works at my cafe, to the duchy?¡± Anderson¡¯s pale green eyes narrowed at those words. Alan added in a low-pitched voice. ¡°I think this offer could help us advance that day.¡± ¡°Ah¡­.¡± The fact that there¡¯s a woman he needs to look after obviously means she¡¯s living with him. He didn¡¯t hesitate to overwork himself because he had to go back home. It is not unreasonable for Alan, who was going to give up the business he has devoted to because he can¡¯t bear it even if she¡¯s close to him, to take pity on him, who has a lover across the sea. ¡°Do you pity me? Is that why?¡± Alan¡¯s cool eyes curled gently at the question. ¡°Pity. I don¡¯t do that. I don¡¯t if it¡¯s charity work.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°You¡¯d better not look down on me, Anderson.¡± ¡°Sir Alan, it¡¯s Eden.¡± At that moment, an urgent knock was heard outside the office. ¡°What¡¯s this?¡± ¡°I¡­¡­It¡¯s a sudden death in the kingdom.¡± ¡°¡­¡­Sudden death?¡± Anderson muttered blankly at the urgent voice. Since he doesn¡¯t mention the family name, it¡¯s probably not a letter from the Leopold family¡­ Is it the royal? ¡°Come on in.¡± ¡°Yes.¡± Alan answered indifferently, without looking at the doorway. When the young man entered the office and politely handed an envelope, his cold eyes weren¡¯t shaken at all. Although it is an urgent letter, there is a high probability that it will be news about the facilities that are being donated, or a letter of thanks stating that the academy facility extension has been completed safely thanks to it. It was also time for the construction to be completed. But as soon as he read the words from the envelope that was handed to him, Alan felt all his thoughts stop. [Eyes and ears of the street] * * * November. Is there another season that is more lonely and lovely than this? Although it is somewhat pale compared to the autumn of my beloved Sourne, here in Lunoa, the autumn atmosphere deepens with the smell of dry leaves. As I have decided, there are three ways to overcome sadness. Friends, walks, and hot coffee are the things, but since I had no friends and drank coffee, all that was left was a walk. So I was walking slowly through the garden full of the smell of autumn. ¡°¡­¡­It¡¯s good.¡± I love the ephemeral nature of the leaves that fall in vain at the peak of their abundance. Because I think the moment of loss is just as beautiful as the moment of sprouting. Also, I love the scenery where the sun sets as much as I hope that the entire day is sunset, and I think autumn is the most beautiful season. In my previous life and even now, it doesn¡¯t seem like a coincidence that I was born in the fall. But even these thoughts did not dissipate my thoughts. Somehow similar to this season, our relationship with love but no certainty. It¡¯s beautiful. It¡¯s beautiful, but¡­¡­. ¡°Miss.¡± One of the two maids who followed me, immediately spoke. ¡°How far are you going?¡± At some point, the employees here began to pay more attention to me. Is it because Sandra left? Or are they afraid if I run away? If I run away, of course, they will be reprimanded by their master, but the main gate is guarded in the first place, so there is no way I can go out. So I don¡¯t know why they are following me. ¡°I don¡¯t know. I¡¯ll walk until I feel better.¡± ¡°Are you going to the front gate?¡± The other maid asked in a rather irritated tone in my half-hearted reply. I understand. The garden is huge and I don¡¯t think I¡¯ll ever go back, so it¡¯ll be annoying for them to accompany me for a walk out of nowhere. My legs hurt too. But who told them to follow me? ¡°For now. I can¡¯t go beyond that.¡± ¡°B-but¡­¡­!¡± I like to walk. It¡¯s easy enough to walk for hours without a break. I wondered why the maid¡¯s voice sounded impatient for some reason, but I thought she might just be out of breath, so I hurried to walk again. However, when I reached near the main gate, I doubted my eyes and had to stop my steps. It wasn¡¯t to rest my tired legs. ¡°Wait for me, miss!¡± Even when the maids, who were dozens of steps behind me, huffed and followed, I still stood with a stunned face as if I had seen something I couldn¡¯t see. And that¡¯s¡­. ¡°¡­¡­There¡¯s no security?¡± Chapter 116 Chapter 116: Broken Wings ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? ¡°This is now¡­.¡± This was a very unexpected situation. ¡°What happened?¡± ¡°Miss, stop looking and go back.¡± ¡°Yes, miss. It¡¯s cold.¡± The maids were busy sending me back. With an awkward expression on everyone¡¯s face, as if begging. ¡°Please answer me. Where are the guards?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°If you leave the main gate like this¡­¡­!¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± When I raised my voice out of frustration, the two maids exchanged glances with bewildered faces. Did they make a deal with the guards on condition that they keep secrets? ¡°Please tell me.¡± ¡°¡­¡­Why are you asking that? Let¡¯s go back inside first, miss.¡± ¡°I can¡¯t go like this!¡± I didn¡¯t want to fall for the attitude of hiding something. I approached the front gate straight away. I hope the employees are not just conspiring secretly to deceive their owner. Alan is busy and tired from his business, so I hope he can relax at home without worrying about anything. I was having only those kinds of thoughts. Perhaps the guards are not sneaking out of their workplaces, but resting nearby for a while. It¡¯s definitely hard to stand all day. Please, I hope my guess is correct. ¡°Miss!¡± Rose vines were densely hung from the elegant gold-plated arch and the long iron fence below it. Even in the weak afternoon sunlight, the autumn roses glowing red in the light of the setting sun evoked a strange sense of d¨¦j¨¤ vu. However, even if I looked around the main gate, I could not see the guards. There was only a lonely landscape with a spacious stone paved path. ¡°I can¡¯t believe it¡­¡­.¡± Have they really decided to completely abandon the gate guarding? ¡°Miss! Please don¡¯t go outside!¡± ¡°Pardon? What are you saying¡­.¡± The maids screamed and I looked back at them with a bewildered look. ¡°If you leave like this, we¡¯re going to have a hard time¡­¡­.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Those words opened my eyes wide. It was because I belatedly realized that they were busy worrying about Alan¡¯s reaction rather than me going outside even though all the guards were gone. All my thoughts stopped suddenly, and my lips were twitching, but the maid comforted me again. ¡°So please go back. Huh?¡± ¡°The wind is cold, miss.¡± The maids seemed anxious that I might run out of the main gate right away, but they couldn¡¯t even pull my arm and were just stamping their feet. Since there are two people, if I use my strength, it would be enough to take one of them down. Surely my position in the mansion has changed. The other day, when the official letter came from the cathedral, I signed it on behalf of Alan, and now I use his room as if it were mine, and Alan, who has returned to the mansion, always fell asleep with me. I felt like I had mixed feelings, but anyway, I couldn¡¯t let this situation pass. All I had to do was figure out the exact situation and tell Alan. ¡°I can¡¯t turn a blind eye to this.¡± ¡°Miss¡­¡± ¡°Did the two of you happen to know? Negligence of security.¡± Suppressing my trembling heart, I asked in a grim voice, but all that returned was a curious gaze. ¡°¡­¡­What do you mean? Negligence of security?¡± ¡°I need to tell Alan everything. Just because he doesn¡¯t come back every day doesn¡¯t mean they shouldn¡¯t do their job¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Pardon¡­..?¡± ¡°I am upset to think that if I hadn¡¯t gone out for a long walk today, I would have never known. So I want you to be honest.¡± I ended up taking a deep breath, worried that they would open up to me and tell the truth. Then the maid, who covered her mouth with her surprised eyes, answered cautiously. ¡°D-didn¡¯t you know?¡± ¡°¡­¡­Is that important now?¡± ¡°I-it¡¯s not that¡­¡­. It¡¯s the young master.¡± ¡°Alan?¡± Still clenched my fists, I asked back in a daze. And the maid¡¯s answer was, ¡°He was the one who removed the guards, miss.¡± ¡°What?¡± ¡­¡­What is this? Did I hear it right? What does she mean by Alan removing the security? ¡°He ordered to remove all the security at the front gate¡­¡­ About a month ago? As far as I can remember, it¡¯s been quite a while.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°We thought you¡¯d know, so we thought you were going out today.¡± ¡°Right, you wanted to get away from the beginning. Ever since the master told to remove the security, I have been nervous.¡± The two maids added explanations as if they had been waiting. Then they looked at me with eyes expecting an answer, but my lips didn¡¯t move. As if I had become a completely different person from before. My mind was all over the place. I couldn¡¯t fathom Alan¡¯s intentions of removing the security from the front gate without any notice. It was only a few days ago when he hugged me and whispered that he was afraid I¡¯d run away. Is it okay to leave the front gate empty like this? What if I turned around and ran outside, and I didn¡¯t come back forever? ¡­.Does that mean he won¡¯t care if I disappear? Does he have any replacement for a woman like me? Of course, I don¡¯t think the old stories he told me were lies. ¡°But¡­.¡± But his beautiful voice, his kind eyes, and even his enchanting kiss can¡¯t prove anything. Those shining moments will eventually fade like a scent¡­¡­¡­. Then the maid carefully added her words. ¡°Mr. Willam said the master looked distressed. When he told them to keep the front door open.¡± ¡°¡­¡­Why?¡± ¡°Well, I don¡¯t know. The master is the young lady¡¯s patron, and it¡¯s not common for the patron to go outside¡­.¡­.¡± Added the maid in a whisper. ¡°Isn¡¯t it a regret for the past eccentric behavior?¡± ¡°Eccentric behavior?¡± There was a strange objection to that statement. I don¡¯t really know my heart either. ¡°There¡¯s this kind of love, too.¡± That¡¯s weird. If I hugged Alan and put my ear to his chest, I think I would know all his thoughts and all his sincerity without saying it¡­¡­¡­. When we are apart like this, we cannot see even an inch ahead as if we were immersed in the deep darkness. Is it because I love him the most among the things I have? I keep imagining uneasy things, and I get sad out of control. ¡°¡­¡­There is love that is precious and valuable, and that must be hidden deeply.¡± Sometimes it¡¯s unbearable if you don¡¯t remind yourself with formless words¡­. ¡°That¡¯s a relief.¡± One of the maids said with an expressionless face. ¡°At first, I thought it was definitely vague, but¡­¡­ Both of you have the same feelings, right?¡± ¡°¡­¡­We are¡­¡­.¡± ¡°The young master cares about you dearly. From the beginning until now, at least from what we¡¯ve seen in this mansion.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°He seems like someone who lives only for you.¡± At those words, I lost my strength, and as I put my hand on the iron fence, I felt a burning pain as if on fire. ¡°Ah¡­¡­!¡± ¡°Miss!¡± Perhaps the thorn of the rose vine that was winding the iron fence was deeply embedded in the fingers, and the blood quickly swelled up in a circle. Tears welled up as I watched it. It hurts. I¡¯m glad to hear the maid¡¯s words, but he can¡¯t fully trust me outside the mansion, in a world I don¡¯t know or know anything about. Nevertheless, I have no intention of leaving him. ¡°Ah¡­.¡± A silly bird who forgot how to spread its wings only tilts its head in front of an open cage door. Has his love for me broken my wings? If that¡¯s really the case, I ¡­¡­. ¡°It hurts¡­¡­¡± Tears that I couldn¡¯t even understand myself ran down my cheeks nonstop. I put my hand helplessly while the maids hurriedly checked my hands, their faces hardened and I thought. Would it seem strange that the reason I cry as if the world has fallen is only because of such a small wound? Or, is it fortunate to be able to cry even for such a wound? ¡°It¡¯s pretty deep. You have to get it out right now, so you should go back.¡± Realizing that I had no intention of running out the front door, the maids no longer begged or urged me. They just returned with their usual indifferent faces. Is that so? I felt like an immature child crying sadly in front of two calm people. But I couldn¡¯t stop crying. ¡°Ughhh ¡­ It hurts so much ¡­.¡­.¡± ¡°It¡¯s okay, miss. Come on.¡± The way back to the mansion and back to my cage, led by the two maids, was blinded by tears. Wouldn¡¯t it be great if this wound and my anxiety could be completely healed? It seems that I had such a fleeting thought. * * * I thought I¡¯d talk to Alan when he comes back. I wanted to ask him about leaving the front gate open. Even after standing in front of that door, I didn¡¯t have any thoughts of running away. I wanted to talk about my feelings that only felt unnatural as if they were broken, like a bird that forgot how to spread its wings. I don¡¯t know if it¡¯s completely broken, but I was afraid to open it and check it out.¡­. I didn¡¯t mean to rebuke him. I just wanted to comfort this confused feeling. It¡¯s a feeling we made together, and half came from him. So only Alan could comfort and cuddle me like this. By the way, did Alan¡¯s wing broken, too? ¡°Melissa.¡± Alan was pitifully broken that night. It was a deep autumn night. Chapter 117 Chapter 117: Prideful and Cruel Melissa I was quietly reading a book with the lights on in his room, and I quickly turned around at the sound of the door being opened. ¡°Alan¡­¡± Alan was standing in front of the door ¡°Melissa.¡± He couldn¡¯t take a step from there, just calling my name over and over again. As if his heart was broken, with a wistful face that seemed to collapse at any moment. He looked like he was crying even though he wasn¡¯t crying. I ran to the door without thinking and hugged Alan tightly. A cold, large body that had been covered with the outside wind leaned to me as if he was falling. ¡°Come on, what¡¯s going on?¡± It was a strange feeling. He was clearly not crying, but his hard back was going up and down like never before. It was scary to sit still and comfort his back. I had a hunch that something big had happened to him. My anxiety and fear of what to do if I can¡¯t comfort him screamed near my heart. ¡°Alan, come here¡­¡­.¡± I was afraid Alan would fall down like this. So I took him to bed and laid him down on my lap and stroked his forehead for a long time. His hair, as black and soft as ebony, smelled like a rose garden on a rainy day and the hazy leaves. Alan looked up at me and looked into the air somewhere before closing his eyes. Maybe he¡¯s organizing his thoughts. Looking at Alan like that, I thought that no language could describe how beautiful his closed eyelids were. There was no sound in the dim room except for his and my even breathing, but I felt it was fulfilling. A defenseless face with eyes closed like an angel. For this moment I was his refuge. There was not a single thing in this room that was overwhelming and insignificant. We were indeed swimming in perfect peace. How long has it been? As I brushed his pretty eyebrows silently with my fingertips, Alan suddenly said, ¡°I found it, Melissa.¡± ¡°What?¡± It was a confusing word. I stopped and asked. ¡°¡­¡­What did you find?¡± After a short silence he took a deep breath and said the words. ¡°My parents.¡± ¡°Ah¡­.¡± I had a hunch without difficulty. My wish for two of them to be alive stopped with just being a wish. Otherwise, he wouldn¡¯t have come back with eyes that were about to collapse. The next was as expected. Alan said that his biological parents had long since¡­¡­ Perhaps they died when he was still a child, and that¡¯s why he said he couldn¡¯t find them after more than a decade of searching. The cause of death was a carriage accident¡­¡­. Troy, who was left alone, seems to have traveled to several nurseries, but all of his history was still in a maze. He only miraculously found the first orphanage he had passed by, and it is said that a brief record of Troy was left there. ¡®Temporary protection for the lost child.¡¯ So at least it wasn¡¯t the will of his parents to send him to the orphanage. But it was still full of uncertainty. Even the exact timing and circumstances of his parents¡¯ death, and the fact whether they were really the ones who gave him the name Troy¡­¡­. There were countless emotions in Alan¡¯s eyes who was saying these words. Like stars dotting the distant universe. He seemed to be recalling a very distant memory. I couldn¡¯t react hastily. Should I rejoice in knowing that Alan¡¯s parents had not abandoned him because of something else that they wanted? Or should I be saddened by the conviction that the two of them are no longer in this world? I didn¡¯t know at all. But when Alan said his parents¡¯ names were Rose and Liam, and his real last name was Flynn. And when I heard that it was Whitewood on the northern tip of Sourne¡­¡­. ¡°Rose¡­ Liam Flynn.¡± I was struck by a distant shock. ¡°¡­¡­Rose Beckys of Whitewood?¡± Unbelievable, but apparently they were the main characters of the novel {Prejudice and Pride}* that I possessed. ¡°Oh my God, Alan.¡± Alan stretched out his arm at me, who was muttering frantically. Then he smoothed my right cheek instead of answering. Of course, he always reacts calmly no matter how silly I was. But it¡¯s¡­¡­. ¡°Alan, I¡¯ve told you that this is my second life, right?¡± ¡°¡­Yes.¡± A small answer came back with a tired breath of laughter. I¡¯m sure there¡¯s another word in his head that modifies me like a ¡®wacky artist¡¯. He may be thinking, ¡®Is she trying to comfort me by telling me a fairy tale?¡¯ but. ¡°Actually, I read a book in my previous life. And the world, the place we met¡­¡­ It¡¯s in the novel.¡± ¡°Pft.¡± The dull laughter dissipated. Somehow I was in a hurry and gave him a desperate look. How can I get him to believe this story? ¡°Are you trapped in a world in a book? Poor Melissa.¡± ¡°No, it¡¯s¡­¡­ the truth.¡± Then Alan reached out again and caressed my cheek. Beneath my brown hair, loosely braided over one of my shoulders, were his shining eyes. The cold eyes shone with a brighter color in the thin shadow of my body. ¡°Then when are you going to go back to your original world?¡± Alan¡¯s lips curled softly. With a beautiful arc as if drawn. ¡°I know you¡¯re a fairy. But I don¡¯t want you to go.¡± ¡°¡­¡­Alan, I told you. I¡¯m dead in my previous life. It was at that moment that I came to this place.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°So this is my world, my life. I¡¯m not going anywhere.¡± Alan was silent. Yeah, it¡¯s hard to believe. I was like that, too. I¡¯m sure he¡¯ll laugh if he knows what I was thinking when I first opened my eyes here. Even now, he¡¯s smiling. ¡°Even if it¡¯s a stage that¡¯s made, everyone living in it lives for something precious with their own will. It¡¯s no different from my original world.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I¡¯m the one who doesn¡¯t even appear in this novel. But I¡¯m doing my best more than ever, I¡¯m living my life to the fullest. There¡¯s never been a moment in my life when I didn¡¯t mean it.¡± ¡°¡­¡­Melissa.¡± My Alan. My noble and transparent love with hazy eyes. What expression would you make if I told you that I came here to meet you? ¡°I love all the stories you tell.¡± Did I look like I was going to cry? His cool fingertips caressed the corners of my eyes gently. ¡°It was comforting like a novel.¡± ¡°You know, I mean¡­¡­.¡± ¡°You being with me¡ª It just doesn¡¯t seem real.¡± Even now, Alan whispered in his mouth. I looked endlessly at the petal-like lips, forgetting to answer. Just hoping he¡¯ll kiss me right now. At that moment, Alan, who rose up, slowly overlapped his lips. The tip of his tongue was so sweet that I felt numb. My heart raced like I was about to die, and there was nothing I could do but hug him. If I don¡¯t block my chest with his chest, my poor heart will pierce the skin and run away. * * * ¡°The novel is called {Prejudice and Pride}.¡± We were lying side by side. I was lying on my back, turning my head towards him, and Alan was lying on his back with his arms on my waist. Rose and Liam¡¯s child with eyes like the morning stars answered. ¡°That¡¯s a great title.¡± ¡°You know, the Sourne Kingdom is the background.¡± ¡°Florine?¡± He was smiling faintly. ¡°¡­¡­No, Whitewood, a small forest town in the North.¡± Then Alan stroked my flat stomach and whispered. ¡°Prejudice and Pride. Just like us.¡± ¡°Right? That¡¯s what I thought!¡± I turned to face Alan, excitedly. The light chemise made a rustling sound. ¡°I¡¯ve never appeared before, but don¡¯t you think this title would have suited us well if we were the main characters? The story of Alan Leopold, the arrogant noble, and Melissa Collins, full of prejudice against him!¡± ¡°The other way around, Melissa.¡± He said, pulling me closer. ¡°Don¡¯t you know how prideful you are?¡± ¡°Pride? Me?¡± ¡°You make my life feel like nothing, so easily.¡± I narrowed my brows in shock. I¡¯ve been hesitating all along because I was afraid that I would take it that way¡­. ¡°¡­¡­Is it because I said this is a fictional world?¡± Even if it¡¯s in a novel, there¡¯s no real world for me other than here. It¡¯s been a long time since my past life became dark. Would it have been better to say that this place was real from the beginning and that I don¡¯t know if the past life was my dream? Alan¡¯s languid low-pitched voice tapped in my ear as I was thinking about it. ¡°I get nervous whenever I think of you. It makes me vicious and powerless at the same time. Only you make me feel that.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Prideful and cruel Melissa.¡± I swallowed my breath as he gently touched my forehead. Alan¡¯s voice sounded like a beautiful melody. ¡°What a stupid prejudice I thought you were a small, fragile raindrop.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°You were the sea and I got lost in it. But¡­¡­.¡± His lips whispered from a distance as if they could be reached at any moment. ¡°I think it would be good to sink in like this.¡± ¡°Alan¡­¡± As soon as I called his name with a trembling breath, his long eyelashes fell silent. Like a butterfly flapping its wings. My heart just felt numb. Suddenly, this feeling passed by. I don¡¯t think any sentence I¡¯m going to make will touch him more than the words he told me today. I gently raised my head and kissed him slowly on his cool, flawless cheek, and looked at him with a dream-like look. After a difficult day, Rose and Liam¡¯s child returned to my arms. ¡°Rose Beckys¡­. So, your mother, who later becomes Rose Flynn, is the main character in {Prejudice and Pride}. The novel ends before the two get married¡­..¡­.¡± But outside of that story, after overcoming so many hardships and adversity, the two eventually became a family. Perhaps because I vaguely thought that they would be alive somewhere, I couldn¡¯t help but feel sour at the sudden truth. But that Rose gave birth to such a pretty you. You¡¯re the fruit of two people I loved. You weren¡¯t like God¡¯s birthday present to Melissa Collins. You are a gift from Rose¡¯s tears and love. Maybe I¡¯m just here to meet you, Alan. The thought made me tear up, so I kissed him on the cheek again and continued. ¡°Whitewood¡¯s Rose was such a lovely girl that¡­¡­.¡± Until Alan sleeps, or even after he sleeps, to tell the beautiful story all night long. *** T/rant: the revelation of the original novel was just not the way I expected (¡ñ__¡ñ) but this is a light romance novel, so I couldn¡¯t expect much dramatic way to get a revelation and more than that, it seems Alan just accepted her words¡­..idk like since your lover is saying those words so you just accepted. But, If the reason why Melissa transmigrated to this world was to just tell Alan about his parents then I want have a separate meeting with transmigration God, if readers are getting transmigrated to other world even for this reason then even I want to get transmigrated, I am 100% confident in taking care of a male lead who is suffering from the world and narrate him about his parents who are no longer in this world. I¡¯m tired of this Earth that is slowly getting destroyed by pollution. On a side note, pls do not waste electricity, pls do not contribute to spreading pollution. Chapter 118 Chapter 118: Challenges Faced By New Lovers ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? The cold season came silently. One day, I woke up strangely early, and I thought that the dim dawn light from outside the window was strangely white. I crept out of Alan¡¯s arms in case he woke up and silently stepped onto the cold floor. When I opened the curtain past the fireplace, which was faintly lit in the ashes that had disappeared overnight, I was so surprised that I covered my mouth with my hands. ¡°Wow¡­!¡± The vast garden had turned all white. It was not to the point of piling up, but I was happy with the unexpected luck. I heard that Lunoa¡¯s climate is mild all year round, so it¡¯s not easy to see snow. At that moment, a warm warmth surrounded me from behind. ¡°Ah!¡± ¡°¡­¡­It¡¯s the first snow.¡± ¡°Did you wake up because of me?¡± Alan, with his chin on my shoulder, looked out of the window for a moment in silence and buried his head. His murmuring whisper in a sleepy voice was cute. A morning of the first snow with Alan. I became helplessly happy. Even this private peace will eventually fade with time, and the fact that it is just a moment will make me unbearably sad. If so, I hope that I will remember it for as long as possible. Some peaceful days followed like that. Alan returned home every evening. Even in this cold season, he always gives me a bouquet with moist water in my arms. These days, Alan sometimes doesn¡¯t go to the office during the week. At first, I woke up in the morning, and I was surprised that he was still sleeping. Maybe it¡¯s the day of an important regular meeting? He¡¯s already a young boss, but what if a snake-like executive secretly blames him? With that in mind, I was about to wake him up by slapping him on the back, but I was attacked by Alan, who got up quickly. ¡ªI can¡¯t breathe¡­! Alan said he cut back on work. So he can rest once or twice a week. I didn¡¯t know he was the kind of person who could put things down. After he learned about his parents, I was worried that there might have been a change of heart in a bad way, but I was happy with the thought that the time we could spend together had increased. In addition, Alan brought a tutor into the mansion¡ªat my earnest request¡ª to teach me the Lunoan language. The emptiness of the time without him became bigger and bigger, so I wanted to fill that emptiness with the excitement of learning new things. It was quite interesting to stutter through the {The Fugitive} novel in Lunoan. It can be said that there is a unique tragic beauty and sophistication that cannot be felt in the translated version. Of course, there were days when we fought too. Because we are so different people. It was always a small argument, but there were times when we couldn¡¯t understand each other so we didn¡¯t talk all night. The cause of the quarrel was largely trivial. At the very least, it wasn¡¯t something like each other¡¯s past lovers. For example, if I was crying while reading a sad book, he would come up to me and ask me about it, and then he would be irritated and say that he couldn¡¯t understand my tears. It¡¯s an emotional luxury to cry after reading a made-up story. Then I would say that we only live in the story anyway. Then I asked if we should castrate our emotions. If I, the character in the story, love you, is that also a luxury? ¡­¡­Well, it was all a stupid wastage battle. In the morning, he always apologized in a hoarse voice. Then I kissed him reluctantly, pretending to accept him. It has solidified like a promise to us. We quarreled so often and sometimes raised our voices, but at some point I have never been to the annex. Although the corner of the garden overlooking from my room in the annex is also quite elegant. At the end of November was Alan¡¯s birthday. I heard about it from Butler William. The surprising fact was that it was the same day that Alan saved me from the cold snow. Last year, there must have been enough people to fill Florin Boulevard to celebrate Alan Leopold¡¯s birthday. But he came to my rescue, refusing all the boisterous celebrations and merrymaking. On the day he was given life, I also gained a new life because of him. What words and letters can convey this overwhelming feeling? He sometimes called me the sea. At times like that, I would call him the wind. He was always the one who made waves in the sea. After thinking about it all night, I decided to write a poem to celebrate Alan¡¯s birthday. The last poem I wrote was a letter to him, which is already more than a year old. I wrote him a second love poem. I can see the wind, Because the tingling wind with your face comes to me like a flickering star, When you blow, I¡¯m hit with open arms without resistance, At times like that, I often thought of death, Although II never thought that there would be a sad or pitiful death in the world, I will be smiling if my heart stops beating with your love, I¡¯ll open the windows on winter nights so you don¡¯t wander, What kind of face did you have? Before they hurt you, * * * ¡°Melissa.¡± Alan looked dry at the dinner table, where a dreary candle was burning over the silver candlestick. I smiled indifferently. ¡°What do you think?¡± At least I liked my poem. But Alan didn¡¯t seem to be. ¡°You didn¡¯t have to celebrate my birthday.¡± ¡°¡­¡­What?¡± On the birthday of my beloved lover, the feeling of facing his way of speaking when he doesn¡¯t like something¡­¡­. ¡°You know, we¡¯re lovers, but isn¡¯t it polite to say thank you even if it¡¯s just empty words? It¡¯s been almost a year since I wrote a poem. As a special gift for your birthday¡ª¡± ¡°It doesn¡¯t mean anything. It¡¯s just a date made up by the family.¡± ¡°Ha.¡± Can¡¯t you just say thank you and move on? I tried so hard. There¡¯s no need to talk about uncomfortable things. My heart pounded all day because you brought me to life the day you took your first breath. As soon as I moved my lips to say something, Alan continued. ¡°Do you know you¡¯ve changed?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Oddly enough, the words seemed to break my heart. It¡¯s nothing special, but my eyes suddenly blurred. I pressed my eyebrows with force to stop the tears from flowing. ¡°Why? Because the me, whose face turns red and couldn¡¯t even look into your eyes, no longer exists?¡± ¡°Ha, Melissa.¡± Shining moments are always short. That¡¯s why I never stopped the time or emotion I spent with him. Even if it was sweet enough to swallow in one bite, I put my nails in my soft palm and held it in. Just licking carefully and preciously, trying to last all our moments for a long time. ¡°Do you think I¡¯m a disgrace? Because I don¡¯t look up at you like I did before¡­¡­?¡± But Alan¡¯s cold words seemed to shatter all the hard work, the fragrant candy-like moments. Even my heart. ¡°What are you talking about?¡± ¡°Am I the only one who¡¯s changed? You also said that everything I write is good¡­!¡± A sudden surge of sadness came over me. I was as sad as the ashes in the stove. The soot that must have burned like heat someday, but now has been swept away. Tears flowed helplessly. ¡°¡­¡­I¡¯m not good at talking unless it¡¯s about work.¡± Alan swept his hair up frustratedly and rose to my side. ¡°Still, listen.¡± A large hand approached carefully and wiped the tears from my cheeks. The thumb and the edge of the hand, then the back of the hand. It was quite meticulous and caring. Come to think of it, the feeling of the black gloves he wore as a habit, touching my cheeks became so distant that I couldn¡¯t even remember from when. ¡°I like the words and sentences you use. Everything. Your handwriting, too.¡± ¡°But what¡¯s wrong with you¡­¡­. Why are you doing this to me?¡­.¡± ¡°I¡¯m sorry, Melissa. I¡¯m sorry.¡± Alan held my wet face in his hands, and I cried more and more because of his warm heart, but I hated him and didn¡¯t hug him. ¡°It wasn¡¯t long that you said that my poems are good enough, heuk, to memorize¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Because you weren¡¯t a poet who used the word death in a love letter.¡± ¡°Are you an idiot? You have to look at the whole thing, not the word itself.¡­!¡± With a deep sigh, he put his chin on my shoulder. His pulse passed through my trembling shoulders. ¡°I¡¯m the one who was greedy to have you by my side, and I¡¯m the one who made your novel disappear, so I have nothing to say. Still, I was worried that my crude self-righteousness might have ruined you.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°You used to only wear shiny things. You said you wanted to live a season that looked like me, Melissa.¡± He hugged me tighter and whispered. His voice trembled like a flickering candle. ¡°Now I remind you of death?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± What he said was partly true. From some point on, the love between him and me reminded me of death. There¡¯s nothing more powerful than this love. ¡°That can¡¯t be¡­¡­.¡± It was clearly me who was crying, but at some point I was comforting him. Our love is indeed no different from that of children. Are you thinking the same as me? It reminded me that some fears are sometimes caused by too much love. In the meantime, I was somehow relieved by his warmth, breathing quietly in my arms. His back was hugged by me without a tear stain, I cried and comforted him affectionately, as if I were going to use all the moisture in my body. It was such a strange and tender comfort. So we were happy. We are just clumsy and young lovers who are so precious and lovely to each other. Even if I get lost in the dark, if I¡¯m with you, I¡¯ll be happy like a dream. But life is a harsh journey, and misfortune always comes suddenly. It had only been a few days since the day we shared the warmth of tears. Chapter 119 Chapter 119: I¡¯ll Be Back ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? ¡°I have something to say.¡± One day Alan said. It was such a lazy weekend afternoon, sitting opposite a teacup, he read a newspaper and I read a book I deliberately chose not to be the sad one. ¡°What do you want to say¡­?¡± If he rhymes this way, it¡¯s usually one of two. It¡¯s very good news, or vice versa. Alan has no expression, so he¡¯ll have a straight face even before he delivers the good news. He doesn¡¯t know how to make eyes like a child, or expressions that can¡¯t leave the corners of his lips straight with excitement. But I felt a sense of insecurity that he couldn¡¯t hide. No matter how unemotional he may be, he wouldn¡¯t put on such a gloomy look before bringing out the good news. ¡°Huuu¡­.¡± Alan sighed deeply. At this point, I thought that he would not have been able to read the newspaper he was holding at all. His face was more serious than the face he had focused his eyes on when he occasionally read documents. Then, an unimaginable story came out of his lips. ¡°Melissa, ArchHill¡¯s¡­¡­.¡± ArchHills? ¡°Your grandmother died.¡± ¡°¡­¡­What?¡± I hardened with a cup in my hand. Are you¡­¡­ saying that my grandmother died? ¡°How do you know that? Did you attach people to my family?¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± It was irresistible to remember the days when he was not my lover, but a mysterious man. Feeling cramped and afraid¡­.¡­. Then I had a hallucination in which Alan¡¯s white face, looking at me, suddenly changed into a creepy mask. ¡°Answer me, Alan¡­¡­.¡± Alan, who folded the newspaper and put it down on the table, said in a low voice. ¡°While you are here¡­ I bought a house for the four people who were leaving the family for severance pay. On the outskirts of Florin and Solvern, ArchHills and piccom.¡± The four place names he recited were respectively the two-story house where my mother was, the garrison of my father, the mansion of my aunt and grandmother, and the place where Viola was located. It felt like the blood all over my body was getting cold. The hand that had set the teacup on the saucer was trembling, and a rattling sound echoed through the room. ¡°What do you mean by that? You try to spy on my people¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I was just getting word on what was going on there. Just in case you need to know¡­¡­ I don¡¯t think you should miss it because of me.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± I could do nothing but stare at him in disbelief. The clenched fist and the inside of the biting lip were tingling as much as it was terrifying. ¡°I¡¯ve learned a few things, but I haven¡¯t told you.¡± ¡°Ha¡­ What are you trying to say now?¡± ¡°Because I don¡¯t agree with the saying that there are more things in the world that are better not to know.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I was afraid that my mistakes would remind you of your frightening times.¡± Alan¡¯s low voice was as deep and calm as ever. But his eyes were clearly shaking. ¡°¡­¡­So what is the fact that you found out?¡± What are you afraid of? ¡°The child raised by your one and only friend.¡± ¡°¡­¡­Marty?¡± ¡°I found out that the child isn¡¯t her husband¡¯s biological son.¡± Ha, I hastily closed my lips with a sigh. ¡°I don¡¯t think your close friend and her husband know yet. If you want, I¡¯ll send a letter to Piccom writing this down, right now.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± A lot of thoughts crossed my mind. I grappled with my innocent nails. ¡°¡­¡­No, don¡¯t do that.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t tell her?¡± ¡°They¡¯re happy as they are. Don¡¯t stir it for no reason and let them be happy¡­¡­.¡± I don¡¯t have the right to judge what they want, but if they¡¯ve been cherishing their happiness as if they were blowing a shiny bubble, I don¡¯t have the right to burst it. I asked nervously, concluding that. ¡°What else? You said a few, so there¡¯s more, right?¡± ¡°Your father¡­¡­.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± That word made my eyes widened and my heart fell to the ground. Did something happen to father? Maybe an accident at the garrison? My head buzzed as if I were standing on the edge of a cliff. I was so terrified that I even remembered Tobias. Alan, who saw me bite my lips, said with a confused look. ¡°¡­¡­Has a woman. Even if he returns to the capital, he won¡¯t go back home because he has already set up a different house.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± It¡¯s a heartbreaking story, but I¡¯ve definitely heard it in Arch Hill before coming to the Principality. My grandmother told me that my parents were experiencing the same problem she had with late grandfather. She thought I knew the truth, but I didn¡¯t know anything. I can only vaguely guess that my mother hid father¡¯s affair because she thought of me. ¡°Maybe your mother already knows.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Yes, I guess so. When I heard my grandaunt¡¯s insinuation, I tried to cover up the uncomfortable truth without further digging. If I go back to the kingdom, I think I¡¯ll be able to meet him then. However, how long can I turn a blind eye to my mother¡¯s depression and sadness? I came to one conclusion from the truths Alan told me. Perhaps he was expecting too. There¡¯s only one answer I can expect from him who gave me these facts. ¡°I have to go to the kingdom, Alan. Let me go to Grandma¡¯s funeral.¡± ¡°I¡¯m sure it¡¯s over.¡± ¡°It doesn¡¯t matter, so let me go.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Alan looked at me with frozen lake eyes. The gaze made my heart ache. ¡°If you let me know these facts just to stop me from going to Sourne, it¡¯s really¡­¡­ It¡¯s unforgivable, Alan.¡± ¡°Melissa.¡± ¡°Just because it¡¯s not a bad intention doesn¡¯t mean it¡¯s right, you know¡­¡­.¡± Our fragrant afternoon was changing desperately. I was trembling for fear that a part of me would fear him again. ¡°¡­¡­You are right, I did tell you to let you go.¡± Alan will never know that his answer at that moment sounded like a relief. ¡°But when I think you¡¯re crossing the sea without me¡­¡­.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I can¡¯t breathe, Melissa. I¡¯m afraid you won¡¯t come back.¡± Oh, my God. ¡°If you¡¯re not coming, I¡¯ll chase you and lock you up again,¡± ¡°Alan¡­¡± ¡°There¡¯s no way I can do it.¡± The heavy breathing was intense. His overbearing, lofty shoulders looked somewhat fragile today. ¡°Alan, you thought I didn¡¯t know that I wasn¡¯t locked up anymore?¡± I had a strange experience where my lips moved automatically. ¡°You¡¯ve withdrawn all the guards at the main gate.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°I knew it. It¡¯s my will not to get out of here, so¡­¡­.¡± The bird did not forget how to fly, nor did its wings bend. My eyes suddenly heated up. ¡°I¡¯ll be back. Though I don¡¯t know how long it will take.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± At that very moment, I saw something twinkle and fall from the corner of Allen¡¯s eyes. ¡°Alan¡­¡­!¡± It was the first time I saw Alan cry. I thought my heart would explode just by seeing his shoulders shake in fear that I might leave forever, but I can¡¯t believe that was because he was holding back his tears. Perhaps you have already become a body that cannot live outside the sea. But it¡¯s been a long time already since I can¡¯t live without you. It was so natural for me to rise up and approach crying Alan and hold his face in my arms. Like a waltz with a set motion. I¡¯ve soaked his chest countless times, but it was the first time I¡¯d hugged Alan crying. ¡°I¡¯ll be back. You¡¯re already part of me, and there¡¯s no way I can take it off.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± That doesn¡¯t make sense. I stroked his hair and whispered. Like caressing a small animal. ¡°¡­¡­Are there any parts that are bigger than the body?¡± Alan smiled in my arms. ¡°It¡¯s such a small body.¡± ¡°Now you¡¯re being hugged by me.¡± Replying sharply, I buried my face in the back of his neck. Then he took a deep breath. The only thing in the world that lasts forever is the word eternity, but his firm body that I want to remember clearly even at the end of my life. As the moment that resembled eternity passed like that, Alan whispered softly. ¡°You are such a kind and gentle person.¡± ¡°What, all of a sudden¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Don¡¯t be forced to come back because I cherish you. Make the choice you want, Melissa.¡± He was clearly in my arms, but his voice sounded strangely distant. I asked, caressing Alan¡¯s nightly hair. ¡°What if I don¡¯t come back?¡± ¡°Well¡­.¡± Alan answered with a low voice, as if he didn¡¯t want to think. ¡°I¡¯ll send someone immediately to the kingdom¡­¡­.¡± ¡°What?¡± ¡°¡­¡­But I have to suppress my desire to do it¡­¡­ I¡¯ll have to live the rest of my life with the memories you gave me.¡± His words reminded me of Madame Kerney¡¯s words for some reason. ¡®Everything was beautiful.¡¯ About the beautiful and distant separation ¡®After all, the only thing that keeps me alive is the memories of that time.¡¯ Somehow I laughed hard because I felt like I was going to cry. I¡¯m comforting Alan now. I can¡¯t cry with him. ¡°How many months will my stake be worth? There will be memories left behind by your past lovers.¡± ¡°You¡¯re making me sad. You were the only woman I had.¡± ¡°Huh?¡± I grabbed his shoulder and jerked it out of his arms. Alan was looking up at me with stunned eyes, with a twinkling smile ¡°Then I¡¯m the first¡­¡­. No, but how¡­¡­.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°As if you knew all the ways in me¡­¡­.¡± Then Alan chuckled, and I raised my voice because I thought I knew the answer. ¡°Did you dream of me too? Already in your dream¡­¡­!¡± ¡°Melissa.¡± Alan chuckled. Like an innocent child. However, a rather colorful smile hung around the beautiful lips. ¡°This isn¡¯t a bedroom.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Servants are listening.¡± ¡°Ah¡­¡­!¡± Only then did I realize that we were drinking tea in the tea room of the main building, and that there were some servants surrounding us. I even made eye contact with the maid who came to fill the tea cup and stepped back with awkward steps¡­¡­. My mind went blank and my face was burning and I was dizzy. ¡°Your share¡­¡± Alan wrapped his hand around the back of my neck and pulled me. ¡°Of course it¡¯s the rest of my life, Melissa.¡± ¡°Al¡­¡­hup¡± ¡­¡­My love that knows no shame. Chapter 120 Chapter 120: City of Art ??©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?????©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤©¤?? I almost melted like butter on a sunny afternoon and wet the floor. Barely regained my reason, I managed to release Alan¡¯s lips. ¡°A-after saying that¡­¡­.¡± In fact, I was disappointed, but I pretended to be calm. ¡°Isn¡¯t it too much to say that I don¡¯t have to come back?¡± ¡°I want you to live the life you want.¡± Alan was no longer crying, but his transparent eyes sparkled more moist than ever. ¡°You are such a beautiful person, and you have already given me full and overflowing happiness.¡± ¡°You¡¯re beautiful, don¡¯t say that¡­¡­.¡± ¡°So think about it, Melissa. That¡¯s it for me.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± I held my breath for a moment. His eyes looking up close are so deep. ¡°¡­¡­Sure, I¡¯ll think about it.¡± And I didn¡¯t forget to kiss his shallow dimple. No wonder it tasted lonely. ¡°Thank you for letting me go.¡± ¡°Yes.¡± As soon as the heat subsided, a bitter reality struck. The dreadful truth that her grand-aunt had passed away, a dreadful truth that could hardly be felt, rang through her head like a pre-emptive sound. My grand-aunt died. My grand-aunt, who was not very close to me, but was the only relative in my family who had no communication with people. During the weeks I was left in Arch Hill¡¯s mansion as a child, I quickly felt happy. The elegant white mansion reflected in my young eyes looked like a palace. How lonely is the mansion that lost its owner now? Actually, I liked my great-aunt from the beginning. She looked just like the aristocrats I saw in the book¡­¡­. The noble Viscount Josephine. My mother always blamed her, but my grand-aunt was not a scary person, but she was a kind person who was willing to reach out when she asked for help. Now I¡¯m thinking, Grandma and Mom probably didn¡¯t really hate each other. The old fork bonnet my grand-aunt gave me a few years ago has been reborn as one of my favorite items with Mrs. Kearney¡¯s skills. The hat with a beautiful soft sky blue ribbon was very lovely. Instead of buying a new autumn hat, I bought a ribbon, and with the money I saved, I bought a poetry book. So it¡¯s all thanks to ribbon that I got to talk to Alan Leopold for the first time in my life? ¡­¡­Come to think of it, it seems that the beautiful eyes that look at me now have a color that looks just like this ribbon. ¡°Melissa.¡± Then Alan, who rose from the chair, hugged me. I slipped into his arms in no time. If he had been a little late, I would have burst into tears. Then he said, ¡°If you come back.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± ¡°If you really come back, I have something to tell you.¡± ¡°¡­¡­What is it?¡± I buried my head in his arms and murmured, and Alan slipped away from me and replied in a stern tone. ¡°You¡¯ll hear it then. That¡¯s all I can say right now.¡± ¡°¡­¡­?¡± He approached me as if he was whispering in a soft voice, so I accidentally brought my ear to his lips. Then he turned my face around and kissed me. * * * Alan was in charge of leading the business, no matter how small the responsibilities were. He felt sorry for not being able to join my trip to Sourne because of the mountainous work. Of course I didn¡¯t care at all. Partly because I already knew he couldn¡¯t make time for long, but also because I couldn¡¯t afford to walk Florin Boulevard with Alan. It was a little fortunate that he couldn¡¯t go with me. Alan told me he¡¯d get me a ticket to the Moonlight ship. But when I was told that two weeks was the fastest time to get the ticket, I immediately refused. He wanted me to go as comfortably as possible to the kingdom, and tried to persuade me because Moonlight was the fastest ship. However, in fact, I didn¡¯t want to go on a luxury ferry where parties are held every day. I¡¯m going to my great-aunt¡¯s funeral. Early morning with a cold wind blowing. It was still dark outside. Before Alan left the mansion, he kissed my sleeping cheek, and I greeted him in a sleepy voice. It was the start of the day as usual. And when the morning was completely bright, I got up and prepared briefly. The packing was simple and the clothes were simple. Because I didn¡¯t bring proper winter clothes when I came to the Principality, I wore the mansion¡¯s overcoat and shawl¡ª the simplest and most undecorated thing Alan had bought¡ª but the dress was a crude poplin dress from Sourne. I wore it and decided not to wear a hat. When William, the butler, came to pick me up after getting ready, it was only then that I realized that I was going back home. I felt strange. Today was the second time I had climbed into a Leopold carriage decorated with a large lion pattern. Well, that¡¯s the third, including the day I lost consciousness in the snow? ¡°It¡¯s been a while since the weather was nice.¡± ¡°¡­¡­Yes, it is.¡± At William¡¯s words, I pulled up the curtains on the carriage window for the first time. In fact, there was nothing much to talk about with him, and somehow I couldn¡¯t sleep because I was nervous, so there was no option left. As I went completely out of the entrance of the mansion, a thick forest of trees appeared. As I got out of there, the full-scale city of Lunos began to slowly enter my view. How do I feel about the street view of Lunos? ¡­It was like a fireworks display in broad daylight. The buildings were also very unique, but it was impressive to see people wearing colorful clothes and hairstyles. The clothes with colors and patterns that could not be compared with Sourne, that liked neat and elegant styles, were dazzling. On the one hand, I was a little disturbed at the thought of how much attention Alan Leopold, the brilliant achromatic person in this city, must have drawn. He is as beautiful as the white moon, shining as black as obsidian. No matter how high the temperature is compared to the kingdom, I was already adjusting to the climate here, and I was wearing a lot of shawls inside the carriage, but outside the window was somehow filled with heat. Each and every one looked like firecrackers burning themselves for a flash of light. The impression I got when I first saw Monica Elwood at Antress also seems to have been like this. A dazed voice burst out of itself. ¡°¡­¡­That¡¯s why it¡¯s called the city of art.¡± William, who was sitting opposite and wiping the monocle, asked in a neat voice. ¡°Do you find it difficult?¡± ¡°Yes,¡­.. Probably. If I had enrolled in the academy, I might have been like a crow in a flock of swans. Well, it¡¯s not a capital city, so it¡¯ll be a little less? No matter what¡­¡­.¡± Was it fun to see myself muttering silly worries? The old butler, who was solemnly stiffening his expression, laughed. ¡°You¡¯ll definitely like it if you stay a little longer.¡± ¡°Is that so? I don¡¯t know yet. But I think the sunset here is exceptionally beautiful.¡± (Melissa) ¡°The whole city is like a huge palette.¡± (Melissa) ¡°Yes, I¡¯m sure you¡¯ll like it.¡± (William) Having such a trivial conversation, the carriage took us to the port. The winter sea in December that unfolded before my eyes was a darker color than I remembered. ¡°Please stay here for a moment.¡± ¡°Yes¡­.¡± I replied with a bewitched look at the moored boats swaying gently along the waves. There was no huge and brilliant ship like Moonlight, but the vitality and excitement of people and sailors who were busily walking with their own expectations were not much different from the day I left Sourne. With a grim face, I quietly inhaled the salty wind and exhaled for a while. I heard urgent footsteps, so I turned around and saw William with a ticket running towards me. When I first came to the port, I remembered that I was alone and wandering around, so it was fortunate that Willam was with me. ¡°Thank you, William.¡± ¡°Miss, you¡¯ll be back, right?¡± Handing me a ticket, the old butler hinted at it. ¡°He¡¯ll be waiting desperately.¡± ¡°Unless I don¡¯t lose my way back, I will come back¡­¡­.¡± ¡°Then I hope you don¡¯t lost your way. Because I don¡¯t see any hope except that you¡¯ve simply packed your luggage.¡± ¡°You¡¯re saying something funny.¡± I laughed against the sea breeze. The white breath flew out into the air. The only season when one can see the shape of their breath. In the middle of winter, I suddenly felt more joyous than the month of August. * * * ¡°Like the white snow..¡­.¡± When I arrived at Arch Hill, my great-aunt¡¯s funeral was long over. It was natural. ¡°¡­¡­She has gone home in peace.¡± ¡°Yes.¡± Mrs. Hugh and I stood side by side in front of my great-aunt¡¯s grave. ¡°I¡¯m sure she¡¯ll be happy that you are here. It must have been hard on your way here.¡± ¡°¡­¡­.¡± Of course it wasn¡¯t easy. I had to spend more than two weeks on the ship¡ªa little delayed due to operational problems¡ªand I was born with the worst motion sickness before I was able to figure out how shabby my time there was compared to Moonlight. Is it fortunate that I didn¡¯t have any time to be bored because I brought the translation of novel {Fugitive} in Lunoan and a notebook? ¡°But I¡¯m so glad Mrs. Hugh is still here.¡± ¡°I see. I have less than a few days before I leave this place.¡± It is said that the mansion was handed over to the great-aunt¡¯s younger brother. Probably a cousin. As soon as the great-aunt¡¯s funeral was over, all the few servants left, and Mrs. Hugh was left alone to clean up the mansion. She said she was about to leave for a new job in a few days when the new owner arrived. So I, who came without contacting her, was very lucky to be able to meet Mrs. Hugh. My conversation with Mrs. Hugh was still awkward, and I was worried that she might ask me if I found love across the sea, but fortunately it didn¡¯t happen. We prayed for my great-aunt, looked back at the mansion together, and blessed each other¡¯s future. After that, there was nothing left to do. So I decided to get on the carriage diligently. It was to head to Piccom. ¡°This.¡± However, Mrs. Hugh, who was seeing me off, handed me a small box wrapped in blue velvet. ¡°It¡¯s from the Viscountess.¡±