Chapter 58 Forgetting First Love


    But it must be forgotten.


    That world no longer exists.


    Mr. Kraush, I am a greedy person. And with what happened to An, I fear that my greed will only grow. So please, do not be too kind to me.


    The words Lirina had spoken while sobbing on the day of Ans death, as she pulled away from his embrace, resurfaced in his mind. Who did she think held back their desires with such words?


    Kraush had been truly shocked then.


    But he understoodter, after Ans death, when he took in the despondent Lirina as his direct maid.


    Shortly after, during a surge of world erosion in Balheim, he lost the Green Pine Mansion along with her. He came to realize he was a fool who didnt even know how to be greedy.


    If only I had been greedy.


    Kraush could never forget the repeated pangs of pain and grief.


    But time has a peculiar way about it. The pain, given time, gradually disappears.


    Lirinas death had urred in the early days when the worlds erosion went rampant. After a great deal of suffering in the Skyborne Generation, he had somewhat forgotten the pain of losing Lirina.


    How else could he have considered going on a date with a woman who had inexplicably followed him around?


    Well, all of that became meaningless anyway.


    Mary Diana, that damnable incident at the new tower, prevented the date from happening. Since that day, she never spoke to him much again.


    And all things, including those with Lirina, are now as if they never happened.


    Because the Lirina before him is different from the one he knew.


    Unfortunately, the girlfriend part isnt the case.


    Thus, Kraush smiled slowly at her.


    She is Lirina, Ans personal maid.


    And now also his personal maid, unchanged in the future.


    Kraushs first love no longer exists.


    It ended a very long time ago. On the day she died, he ended that love quietly in front of her dead body.


    Snow Doll.


    The brief surge of emotion was smothered by the Snow Doll and vanished deep down.


    Lirina.


    Thanks to that, Kraush could now call her name in a different way.


    Lets conspire together to keep An alive.


    And make sure she could live on as well.


    When Kraush proposed this, Lirina fell silent, then raised her head resolutely.


    When I said to tell you anything, I wasnt lying.


    Yes, you are trustworthy.


    Well then,mand me. What should I do?


    Watching her, expectantly lifting the hem of her skirt as if waiting for an order, Kraush let out a faintugh.


    Then, he told her a piece of news that would make her flinch.


    An will attempt a self-immtion tomorrow.


    True enough, Lirinas body stiffened.


    In the meantime, I want you and Grim to search the auxiliary masters room for Dorothys crystal.


    Once more, Lirina froze at the continuedmand.


    You really do tell me to do anything.


    Her expression was one of utter bewilderment.


    ***


    me Lord


    Agatha Igrit


    A 7th ss Adeptus Mago Magus.


    A mature master in the aura, she was one of the worlds magicians whomanded respect. She had grown into a middle-aged woman with wrinkles and was lost in thought with a pen in her hand in her room.


    Recently, she found herself deep in contemtion often. The main reason was due to her disgraceful son.


    When she first conceived her child, Agatha loved her son more than anyone could. But as he grew up, she noticed an anomaly within her son. It was the fact he was born with the Lunar Body.


    Possessing the yin and yang of the moon, An was unable to learn Igrits me magic. This essentially meant her son could neither endear himself to the Igrit family nor be its head.


    Despite this, Agatha remained fond of her son. Even at a young age, he diligently studied magic and showed talent in it. If not for the Lunar Body, he would have been a son anyone could be proud of.


    Such were the thoughts of a mother.


    However, the perception of those around her was different.


    Specifically, after hearing the words of her father and Ans grandfather, one of the Ten Great Lords, the me Emperor, she finally realized how everyone viewed her son.


    An will discontinue his session with the Igrit family.


    Father!


    She had called this father more often as head of the family rather than a parent. Despite this, both she and An were of the me Emperors lineage.


    An is your grandson! To give up his sessionthen what is he supposed to do with his life!


    Albeit, the me Emperor never once affectionately treated her as his child.


    Knowing how difficult that truth was, Agatha cherished and loved An all the more.


    She hoped, even in her fathers heart, there was a fondness for her and her son.


    Haah, you auxiliary family head.


    Yet, the me Emperor was apletely different person.


    Before being Agathas father, he was the head of Igrit.


    He prioritized the future of the Igrit family and the Red Tower over the love of his kin. It was the Red Tower after all, an entity that preached utmost magic supremacy.


    Could someone who couldnt even use the me magic that the Igrits nurtured throughout their lives bear the family name and make it ring through the Igrit family?


    It would be stranger if he did not bring shame upon the family.


    Thus, the me Emperor had long closed his heart to An.


    In three years at the tower, even a dog learns to recite spells. But An cant even be a dog of the tower. If hes made heir, he will only tarnish the Igrits reputation.


    Agathas eyes bulged open the moment she heard those words.


    It was inconceivable topare her grandson, An, to a mere dog of the tower.


    I couldve held you responsible for delivering such a child. Did I not repeatedly tell you? That man you brought home will give birth to a child that will not serve the Igrit family.


    Agathas eyes trembled.


    The me Emperor had opposed several times the husband she brought to wed.


    Nevertheless, against his opposition, she shared affection with him, eventually conceiving An and going through with the wedding.


    Her husband, though not afflicted with the Lunar Body, was born with a weak constitution.


    Eventually, under the pressure of the Igrit family and their disdainful eyes, he grew mentally ill and fell physically sick, dying young.


    Knowing such a cause of death, she couldnt ept what her father was saying.


    It might be her own greed that caused her husbands death.


    But now, the Igrit family and its head sought to eradicate her son.


    Rage washed over her, and she trembled in fury.


    You said youd never bear anothers child. So, theres a girl in the Red Tower. Born with me magic talent. Ill adopt her as my own daughter.


    Shocked by his continuous promation, Agatha nearly copsed.


    The me Emperor had truly forsaken An.


    After that, she investigated the child her father intended to adopt.


    Her name was Abe. Though not yet officially adopted, her talent was real.


    Even at her young age, mastering me magic as if it was her own hand, Abe was a prodigy the Igrit family rarely produced.


    Agatha grew anxious after learning about herpondering the real possibility that her son could be discarded by the Igrit family.


    Especially her father; he was certain to do so. He served only the familys interests.


    After that event, Agatha began to change.


    The hand that once stroked Ans hair in praise began to strike him harshly, coercing him to master magic.


    She gathered all the medicinal elixirs in the world tobat Ans Lunar Body, forcing him to take them until he vomited.


    Dont be weak! You are Igrits future that will lead the family! Get up! An! Use your magic now!


    She bellowed at An, who had copsed from exhausting his mana.


    If this continued, her son would forever be abandoned by the Igrit family.


    Agatha couldnt stand by and let that happen, regretful to her already deceased husband.


    So she was ruthless.


    She taught him harshly, scolded him, and forced efforts to change his constitution.


    Yet An endured steadfastly. He was a strong child, just like her.


    However, Agatha didnt notice that something inside him was gradually rottingjust as something within herself was also decaying.


    Eventually, their rtionship headed toward catastrophe.


    That day, when she saw An being attacked by a spirit in the burnt dorms of the academy.


    Without any hesitation, she rushed forward and burned the spirit with her own hands.


    There was no moment of doubt when it came to saving her son.


    But thereafter, An was utterly broken.


    Agatha learned toote about the rtionship he had formed with that spirit.


    Because afterwards, she too became aware of how desperately he searched through many spirit-rted books.


    But she couldnt ept it.


    For Igrit, spirits were taboos.


    The very idea that mingling with spirits could spell the absolute end of Ans life was unbearable.


    If that news ever reached the me Emperor, she knew better than anyone the terrible oue that awaited.


    In her eyes, spirits were nothing more than erosive beings that would ruin Ans future.


    So she chastised him repeatedly, but he did not change.


    However, when he realized he couldnt revive the spirit.


    An waspletely shattered.


    He nearly ceased eating and locked himself in his room.


    Agatha tried repeatedly to visit, forcibly lifting him and feeding him.


    She no longer knew how to be kind to An.


    After treating him harshly for nearly a decade.


    But Ans eyes remained lifeless as he looked at her.


    He was just like a puppet with snapped strings.


    Thats when Ans suicide attempts began.


    Ah, ah.


    Agatha covered her face with both hands.


    What should she have done?


    The world is vast and dangerous.


    Without the Igrit familys protection, living any life was tantamount to a death sentenceespecially for An, born with the Lunar Body.


    Even if it meant being hated by him, she had wanted her son to stay with the Igrit family.


    But such actions led to the worst-case scenario.


    Where did it all go wrong?


    She didnt know.


    Too much time had passed, too many things had gone awry for her toprehend.


    Her eyes drifted to the drawer.


    Inside was the crystal she had found in the ashes of the burnt spirit.


    Somehow she had kept it, but she never told An.


    Ms. Agatha!


    Just then, the door flung open without a knock.


    Startled, Agatha looked up to see the pale-faced stewardess.


    Stewardess?


    Ah, Mr. An!


    Her reaction immediately hardened Agathas face.


    It was already the second time this month she hade searching so urgently.


    Agatha could tell, just by that expression, what had happened.


    An had once again attempted suicide.


    Hes attempting self-immtion!


    But this time, the news was of a different magnitude.


    Self-immtion, a suicide by setting oneself on fire.


    Unlike other suicide attempts, failed self-immtions leave severe aftereffects.


    Agathas face turned deathly pale at the notion of her son choosing such a horrifying end.


    Quickly, lead the way!


    Agatha kicked open the door and bolted out.


    All the while, unaware of someone quietly appearing in the corridor outside her room.