Chapter 164: When some idiot screws up your crafty ns....


    The cheese Danish was genuinely delightful. Gd was impressed with how quickly Rifkin was filling the shoes of his predecessor. One of his new apprentices had knocked on Gd''s door three times before entering his home and leaving therge tray of cheesy desserts on his table. Gd recognized him from when he had been attending his sses. ck fungus? cknose? Something like that.


    Gd had dropped down from his favorite napping spot in the rafters to try a piece and had ended up making it his evening meal. The pastries were made from a blend of cheeses that he couldn''t quite ce. The venerable fighter had long ago mastered his cheese cravings, but on a day when his joints and muscles ached, it was nice to feel the rush as his body gained the power only cheese could provide. And he had always loved pastries.


    He would never let his sparring partners know, but thete-night dueling had pushed him hard. Cremona made up for herck of physical ability with her virulent spells and poisons. Even with his strong resistance, they slowed him and left him shaking after winning a bout with her. Tall Squeak had given him several painful bruises and several times given him broken bones. The damned whelp adapted quickly and experimented with moves that no sane ratkin would try against him. Those often resulted in Tall Squeak being mmed painfully into the floor or wall, but some of them worked, and then it was Gd who suffered. At least the whelp was polite and healed his old bones afterward.


    For a normal ratkin, Tallsqueak was amazingly tough with unbreakable bones and healed nearly as quickly as Larry. Just a few weeks ago, Gd had been overjoyed to have an assistant who could double as a punching bag. It was debatable now who was the punching bag.


    And then there was Larry.


    The huge fiend was developing his own fighting style full of twirling tail attacks and quick hops. It was elegant, dangerous, and unpredictable. No one had ever used such a style before, and Gd constantly had to push himself to avoid being pulped by one of Larry''s powerful attacks. The Tail-Master was always excited to fight against Larry, but he paid for it with stiff limbs and painful joints the next day. The cheese helped with the pain, and the odd vor he''d detected faded away as he finished the pastries.


    Afterward, he went to bed early, needing his sleep. Fighting ss was important. He needed to be up and about, not lying in bed and letting Tall Squeak run the sses. He slept soundly for the first time in years, undisturbed by dreams. Before he awoke, another delivery of cheese Danish was dropped off.


    Gd awoke early, saw the newly delivered food, and ate all of it. He was the Tail-Master; he deserved extra cheese. It was essential and would help him train all of the whelps. A hollow needed all of the fighters it could get! Fighting practice for guards and whelps would need to be mandatory from now on.


    His students were ready and waiting for him, ssy eyes showing intense concentration. Training began immediately and continued through the morning. The loud noisesing from the outer caves were ignored, as was themotion from the mines. The only thing that got Gd''s attention was when Tall Squeak came walking by on a silly mechanical spider.


    Milo was getting the hang of driving the spider. It was a clunky machine, and he had a lot of ideas for improvements. He had a low opinion of both the builders and whoever had been doing the repairs. Too many things had been fixed with wire and tape. The parts box was messy, but he found enough bits to fix the second gun. Rather than have two guns with independent triggers, he ved the second to the first and synchronized their firing. Fewer parts were needed, and he got the job done as the spider slowly made its way through the caverns and into the hollow.


    It could have been a better job, but it doubled the firepower of the walking tank. That might be handy if his suspicions about the caravan proved true or if something else attacked the hollow. He nned to take the spider and park it in the outer cavern next to the guards for them to use. He was surprised to see Gd leading tail-fighting drills with arge group of students. Between investigations and fighting spiders, he''d lost track of time. He was also getting tired. The quick rest while talking to Petey didn''t rece hours of sleep, despite the pick-me-up effect of the jellybeans.


    Gd walked over to him as he arrived. "Why are youte for practice? And why are you riding on an atrocity like this? If you were going to construct a battle tank, using a design for a mechanical mole would be better. Spider legs break off too easily. Trust me, I know from experience." He wrapped his knuckles on the fake metal head on the front of the spider''s armor. Hissing and clicks echoed out of the cracks in the armor. "And where did you get such a stupid spider to use for the core? This one is hissing so much that I can barely understand it. Please take it away before it distracts my students."


    Milo noted that he should learn the spidernguage; it might be handy someday. "It came marching into the mines, shooting people along with a dozen other giant spiders and even a couple of nobles. We killed all the rest, but this thing mighte in handy soon. Have the twins or Petey talked to you about what is happening?"


    Gd began walking back to his arena. "No, and I don''t care. My job is to teach whelps to fight and let the scouts and assassins handle their own problems. You''re the new Scout Master; I give you my authority to handle these nuisances. When it is time to fight, call for me, and I will bring the fighters of the hollow and make battle against our opponents."


    "Oh, and tell whoever is having a war in the outer caverns to keep things quiet. ss is in session."


    Milo took in the ssy eyes of the Tail Master and the ss. At least they were getting in a lot of practice. He put the spider in gear and started walking it down the tunnel to the outer caves to see what was happening there. Brutus waved to him as he exited. "Hi, Master Tallsqueak. Cool looking spider."


    Brutus seemed calm, but the caravan was a mess. "What happened here, Brutus? It looks like a battle took ce."


    The guard smiled. "Oh, it was a good one. First, the caravan got attacked by a bunch of yers, and the herd of damnedbeasts went crazy and trampled everything before they forted up in the center of the cave. It will take a couple of days for them to calm down. It was mostly humans attacking; they didn''t do too badly at first. Good fight, and things were about even after the Master Merchant unleashed his cheese fiends. Then the humans got attacked from behind by a dwarven artillerypany. Now that was fun to watch! The dwarves are now holding the far end of the cavern, and there''s a graveyard between them and the caravan. Hopefully, the next round starts soon. Pretty good entertainment."


    "Oh, and don''t worry. I''m doing a good job; no one is getting past me today. Brutus is on guard!"


    Milo was trying to fit the big guard’s information into an alreadyplex situation. "Yes, good job Brutus. Excellent job. Keep non-residents out of the Hollow unless I or another master vouch for them. Master whammer and Master Gd have given me their authority for the moment."


    "And that includes Rifkin. He isn''t a Master yet, he can''t give a stalwart guard like you orders. And I need to talk to him if you see him. Grab him if he tries to sneak in or out of the hollow, and hold him for me. And don''t underestimate him. He''s sneakier than I think anyone knew."


    Brutus saluted. "You got it, Master Scout. And have a nice day." Milo decided to bring the spider with him to go visit the artillerypany. They''d have suggestions on how to get the stupid leg assemblies fixed if it was whom he suspected.


    Rifkin was not happy. Something had gone wrong with his cunning ns. He wondered which idiot was screwing things up.


    He was ensuring that everyone in the Hollow was getting enough Milbenkase each day so that the spider cheese could work its magic on them and turn them into hard-working ves. Everyone would work hard at whatever they thought was their primary job, and they would take his orders without question. It had been a slow start. The spider cheese wasn''t working like it was supposed to. People weren''t taking orders well. He suspected it was bad cheese. Just like Gangrene to give him defective spider cheese!


    He''d prepared unique dishes for Gd, whammer, Brownfur, and Arlothe and had his minions distribute them at their homes. Bleusnout had kept a record of everyone''s favorite dish to surprise them for their birthday. The entry for the the Gathering Master was missing, so he sent a sampling tter of blended cheese. He wasn''t worried about her. Brownfur was of no matter; the old woman would see things his way and could be put to work making sure the new fields wereid out correctly.


    Charlotte was going to take over as the new Death Master and was confident she could sway most of the shadowskulkers. If not, examples would need to be made of a few. If his trap worked, she would also take care of the annoying Tall Squeak. It galled Rifkin to no end that a stranger only recently arrived had been trusted with a ring, and he who had been here for years was still only an ''assistant.’ That would change soon.


    The only Master that worried him was Old Healer. Charlotte had suggested that they deal with himst after they had the Hollow under control. He was sure Charlotte would use him as a threat to keep some control for herself. It might be time for Charlotte to eat a hefty chunk of ve cheese if she tried. He could rece her with Petey. Petey was docile and fat. Where Charlotte was a problem, Petey could be easily managed. He''d given the jelly bean addict a few hints about his ns already.


    The twins, though, had to go. They''d fallen under Tall Squeak’s influence. He''d dodged them all night before he made it to the caravan. Maybe Petey could talk to them, or he''d have Charlotte scare them or give them some ve cheese. He had lots of options to deal with anything.


    He''d just finished exining all of this to Gangrene when the caravan had been attacked. He''d kept his head down and hid in the General''s tent. The stupid humans who had failed to show up to weaken the hollow were now attacking the caravan! ckwhisker had assured him that his links to the human guilds would ensure the raid was arriving on time. Had ckwhisker betrayed him?


    The tide ofbat had favored the humans until the fiends were unleashed, and the fiends had destroyed the raids'' healers and mages. The caravan had been about to charge when more things went wrong. Dwarves were attacking! He hadn''t had any ns for dwarves! You never invited dwarves to a revolution unless it was at a brewery. They couldn''t be trusted! Yet here they were, and the human raid had melted before their withering fire. Gangrene was alive but wounded; the caravan had lost half its guards.


    Rifkin was okay with that, but he had so many other questions. Could he use what was left to gain control of the Hollow and then get rid of them? How would he get rid of Gangrene? Could he engineer a fight between Gd and Gangrene? He needed to think, and he needed to get back to the Hollow and check on his minions, talk with Charlotte and make sure the ns were going well. He was starting to be worried about his spider allies. Not only were they supposed to weaken the Hollow, but that was the excuse he would use to bring in the caravan guards. He''d save the Hollow from the spiders and humans and announce that he was taking over.


    He''d just decided to sneak carefully away from the caravan and back to the Hollow when Tall Squeak entered the outer cave riding on top of a mechanical spider. He hid quickly, wondering if the spiders had betrayed him.