Chapter 1


    (This story is by no means an indictment against the country of Jamaica and its beautiful people.)


    ------


    The Asndview Psychiatric Center


    December 1976


    "Isaac, do you n on standing at that window all day long, or would you rather have a seat and have


    a civilized discussion?" Doctor Sanyupta, who was dressed perfectly in a brown suit, patiently implored


    seated behind his desk inside his warm and cozy office.


    With his arms folded in an irate manner inside his brown Izod sweater, Isaac remained obstinately at


    the window that overlooked a cold, frosty and cloudy morning.


    He pulled at the crotch of his faded blue jeans that managed to itch with every restless move that he


    made.


    "Man, I ain''t sayin'' anything until I see awyer or somebody." The young, bitter man mumbled against


    the sore jaw that he was nursing while leaning against the frigid window.


    "My friend, this is not prison. We are here to help you."


    Yanking himself away from the window, Isaac turned to Sanyupta and pointed, "Man, you ain''t my


    friend! And the only help I need can''t be found here!"


    "I take it you are referring to your so called disease?"


    "Hell yes that''s what I''m taking about!" Isaac snapped back. "My dad sent me here for some bullshit


    reasons! Motherfucker!" He tossed his arms in the air. "I''m not crazy; I know what happened to mest


    month! It was that bitch that did this to me!" He pointed at his auburn eyes. "And I''m warning you, it can


    happen again, in this ce!"


    Doctor Sanyupta sat back in his leather swivel chair and studied Isaac very precisely before saying,


    "Isaac, allow me to ask the question. Was it you that murdered those menst month?"


    For a second, Isaac caught himself before he stood absolutely still in the middle of the floor "Man...I


    don''t know for sure." His voice faltered. "It just happened, and then I just cked out." Isaac then


    happened to nce at the door and the mistletoe that was dangling from above.


    "Isaac, I see you as a rational human being; someone who is not taken easily to being overrun with


    delusions of shape-shifting."


    "But it''s not a delusion!" Isaac pleaded with outstretched arms. "I know what happened that night! Look


    at my eyes, man! How did they go from ck one day to this the next?"


    "There could be a reasonable exnation."


    "Like what? Someone broke into my room and slipped a couple of contacts into my eyes? That''s


    bullshit!"


    "Isaac, your father believed this facility to be the one ce in the world that could help you—


    "My father," Isaac twisted his lips. "That overgrown nigga hit me because he said I tried to hit him. Man,


    the next time I see his ass I''m gonna take a baseball bat and crack him so hard in the face he won''t


    know what hit his ck ass!"


    "But he is your father." Sanyupta sounded amazed.


    "I don''t care if he''s my mother; no one hits me and gets away with it! That''s why he sent me here,


    because he knew I would get his ass back for that!"


    Isaac was sweating while pacing across the floor in an agitated, cagey manner, as though he could feel


    someone watching him all around.


    Meanwhile, Sanyupta, who was still seated quite securely in his chair, kept his eyes stationed only


    upon Isaac while quietly tapping his fingers on his desk.


    "Isaac, tell me something, wasn''t Lynn involved in your being here as well?"


    Right then, Isaac stopped just short of a bookshelf with his back turned to Sanyupta. The look he had


    on his face at that moment in time was that of a man who could burn holes into the carpet.


    "Oh...that bitch." He grunted.


    "And why do you refer to the mother of your son in such a manner as that?"


    "Because, man, she lied and said that I was—


    Isaac paused for a reason at that second. Like the words that he wanted to say were slipping out of his


    hands and onto the floor.


    "What seems to be the problem, Isaac?"


    But Isaac would not speak; he just stood in the middle of the floor for a few moments more before


    slowly trotting back over to the window and leaning against its pane.


    "I asked you a question, young man." Sanyupta patiently reiterated. "Why did you suddenly stop


    speaking?"


    "Because...I don''t know for sure," Isaac murmured.


    Sanyupta reached for the pen and pad that were both ced just an inch away from him on his desk


    before he began writing.


    "I didn''t mean to call her that." Isaac turned around while still leaning against the window.


    "But there was some kind of emotion that brought such a hateful word out all of the sudden."


    Isaac folded his arms and dropped his head. Every time he tried to turn his attention away from


    Lyte that was all the more the woman''s image seemed to follow him.


    "What do you believe caused you to call her that?"


    Isaac heaved the breath out of his lungs before he said, "She''s not the mother of my child."


    Sanyupta stopped writing at that moment before sitting forward and folding his hands. "How do you


    mean?"


    Isaac couldn''t even look Sanyupta in the eye. He kept his face pointed to the carpet for as long as he


    could.


    "You heard me. I said she wasn''t the mother of my child." He shamefully muttered.


    "And how do you know this to be true?"


    "Because...I just do," he replied.


    "That is not a good enough answer, Isaac."


    Out of frustration, Isaac flung his head backwards and said, "There was this one cat that we both knew


    from high school. His name is William. I guess she was stuck on him at the same time she was on me.


    One thing led to another, and...and nine monthster she told me." Isaac wiped the mist away from his


    eyes.


    "Oh...I see." Sanyupta gently responded. "And yet, after all of that, you still raise Isaiah as your own?"


    Isaac only nodded his head yes. "My dad even told me that he wasn''t mine to begin with. He said that


    God told him. But I guess I wanted to believe otherwise. I really do love that kid, man."


    "How do you and Lynn cope with all of this?"


    Snickering, Isaac said, "We cope by not saying anything about it."


    "That is far from healthy."


    "What the hell else do you want me to do?" He ranted. "Keep on bringing up the past until we break up


    altogether?"


    "Where is Isaiah''s father then?"


    "He''s standing right here!" Isaac angrily stepped forward. "I''m his father!"


    Sanyupta relented before saying, "Very well, young man. While Imend you on yourmitment,


    that still does not give a reason as to why you called Lynn such a derogatory."


    Isaac stuffed his hands into his pockets. "Man, I don''t know." He whined. "All she and I ever do is fight


    and fight."


    "Do you love her?"


    "Yeah, I love her." He callously shrugged. "But rather than try and help me, she just called my dad to


    come and take me away! She just stood by and watched as he hit me! No one will ever listen to me!


    They just yell at me and send me to a fucking lunatic asylum!"


    "Isaac, I want to ask you a very important question, and I want an honest answer in return. Is there


    anyone in your life that you feel you have disappointed?"


    Without warning, Isaac''s entire body just took a strong pause. The young man could have been


    knocked over so easily at that point. He was as stiff and solid as iron.


    "What...what do you mean by that?"


    Shrugging, Sanyupta said, "It means just how it sounds."


    Isaac blindly looked all over the office before his eyes connected with the floor all over again. "I''d have


    to say my father." His voice cracked.


    "Why your father," Sanyupta queried.


    Isaac shut his eyes for two seconds before saying, "Before my father came to Cypress, he was born


    and raised way out in the sticks. He grew up with this guy named Elmer Hob. They used to run


    moonshine together before they both got saved. About five years ago, though, Mr. Hob, his wife


    and granddaughter were all killed in a house fire. Every year since then, my dad and I would drive out


    there to the house and visit. But thisst summer...I couldn''t go."


    "And why is that?"


    "Because, man, it''s depressing," Isaac groaned. "They''re not there anymore anyways."


    "Do you believe that it disappointed your father?"


    Feeling cold, Isaac answered, "I know it disappointed me. You should''ve seen the look on his face


    when I told him that I didn''t want to go. Then again, you should''ve seen the look on Lynn''s face when


    she told me that Isaiah wasn''t mine." Isaac concealed his watery eyes. "It''s like all three of us are


    trapped inside this mad circle."


    "That is a very astute way of putting it, but I would like to refer to another exnation. As much as I


    detest using cinema references, I am forced to utilize one right now. Mr. Roger Moore made a picture


    some years ago titled ''The Man who Haunted Himself''. In this film, the title character had an alter ego


    that yed out his most wild and decadent fantasies that carried him away from his humdrum, almost


    depressing reality. While the film''s ending is preposterous, it justifies to a certain degree the way you


    are feeling, or the way you have been feeling for quite some time now."


    For the first time since being at Asndview Isaac was listening. He may not have fully understood


    what Sanyupta was saying, but something was funneling inside and connecting. The doctor had his full


    attention.


    "You were told that you were not the father of a child. You believe that your father betrayed you, but this


    came after you felt you disappointed him. You were trying to deflect how he felt by grabbing for the first


    thing that he supposedly did wrong to you. Now, you have created an illusion of shape-shifting in order


    to escape from a reality that you must face either sooner orter. Did something take ce inside that


    house? I believe so. People were killed. But, Isaac, you were not implicated in anyone''s demise. You


    were simply an innocent bystander."


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    "But what about my eyes," he stepped forward. "How do you exin this?"


    "Isaac, there have been cases of people having symptoms of hysterical blindness. While your change


    of eye color is striking, it is no cause for rm. I do believe that they shall return to normal eventually."


    "But I have these dreams." He urged. "Sometimes I see this naked dude standing at my bedroom door


    just staring at me. And then there''s the voices I hear. Just two nights ago, I couldn''t even remember


    putting on my pajamas. Are you actually gonna sit there and tell me that it''s all in my head?


    "That is exactly what I am saying." Sanyupta adamantly replied.


    Taken aback, Isaac''s stomach plunged. With his jaw hanging to the floor the man breathlessly asked,


    "How...how then do I stop feeling this way? Because, it all felt so damn real," he blinked.


    Sanyupta''s face took on a more satisfied, if not proud expression. "Young man, you have been here


    now for exactly seven days, and this is the first time you have actually asked for help. You cannot


    change into another person; you are a human being, a human being that can be reasoned with and


    aided. As time goes by, we will see what we can do as far as the nightmares are concerned. A


    nightmare can never kill you."


    Isaac took his hands out of his pockets right then before turning his head to see tiny snowkes fall


    outside the window. Suddenly, a thought of Christmas and Isaiah entered into his mind. It actually


    caused his once cold body to loosen up.


    "Now, if you wille and have a seat, we can begin, my friend." Sanyupta motioned with his right


    hand.


    Not so reluctantly, Isaac Mercer made his way over to the chair that was ced in front of the desk and


    sat down.


    "Just for the record, I never stopped loving Lynn." Isaac stared at Sanyupta.


    Sanyupta looked right back at Isaac and steadily remarked, "And if you continue to be the man that I


    know you can be, she will never stop loving you either."


    Isaac just rested his hands on his knees and shut his eyes. "I just hope you know what you''re doing."


    He spoke so gently. "I still feel like I don''t belong in a ce like this." He moaned.


    "That will be determined with the passage of time."


    Just as soon as he opened his eyes, the lights in the office began flickering off and on. Both Isaac and


    Sanyupta gawked around before the event finally ceased.


    Appearing somewhat annoyed by the disturbance, Sanyupta sighed and said, "You''ll have to forgive


    that. The lights in this building have been behaving this way for the past six or seven days. Hopefully


    our maintenance crew can have it fixed before we put up the tree in a few days. Now, shall we begin?"


    Isaac wiped his eyes some more before he looked straight ahead at Sanyupta and stated, "I...I wrote


    Lynn a letter some time ago."


    "Really," Sanyupta took off his sses.


    Isaac dropped his head. "Yeah, I just wanted her to know how I truly felt about her. But I left it


    underneath my bed. I just hope my father never finds it and reads it."


    Smiling from ear to ear, Sanyupta said, "I would not worry too much about that."


    Isaac raised his head and nced behind him at the window where he could see thicker kes of snow


    fall from the sky.


    "I sure can''t wait till Christmas." Isaac''s voice faded into a depressed oblivion while his auburn eyes


    melted away into the snowy backdrop.