Chapter 5: Why is ze so Good?
Chapter 5: Why is ze so Good?
“I just don’t understand it.”
“What don’t you understand?”
The speakers were Dr. Justin Hancock, Deputy Administrator for Technological Analysis, and Calvin
Grudge, Section Chief for Eastern European Affairs. Both men held positions in the Central Intelligence
Agency, often simply called “the Company”. They were in Dr. Hancock’s office in the Langley, Virginia
headquarters. With them was Agent Mark Paulson, recently promoted to “Third Assistant Chief of Field
Operations”.
“This agent, ze,” the doctor told Calvin. “She has been on three assignments ande back from
all three with objectives totally aplished. Yet, from these reports, she did not, repeat NOT, follow
agency guidelines in any of the assignments. She’s barely passed most of the courses you’ve given
her, gotten very badments from her instructors, and doesn’t really understand the spy game at all.
James Bond is her shining example of what a spy should be. Worst of all, her IQ is only slightly higher
than my dog’s! How do you ount for this?”
“Dumb luck?” Calvin grimaced as he said it. “But you can’t deny that she’s getting the job done. And
she did score the highest score ever in handgun marksmanship. Boy, can she shoot!”
“Dumb luck?” the doctor repeated in a disbelieving tone. “Dumb luck! Our agents are the most highly
trained agents in the world. They all have college degrees before we hire them, then we train them
constantly until there is very little they do not know, from hand to handbat to space technology.
And even with all this, we still lose too many in the field. How does she do it?”
“Maybe there is a God who protects fools and little children,” muttered Mark Paulson. He wanted to
defend ze, but the truth was that he agreed with the doctor. He had been with her on those
missions, and even he still did not understand how she alwaysnded on her feet and defeated the bad
guys. Maybe “dumb luck” was the real answer.
It did not help matters that he was passionately in love with that not-too-bright but sexy-as-hell agent.
Finally, he felt he had to speak up. “She’s learning,” he told them. “I’m sure she’ll be a more
disciplined agent… eventually.” Mark did not want the agency to drop ze from the ranks of its
agents. She was so in love with being a secret agent that it would break her heart to be kicked out.
“Let’s give her a little more time.”
The doctor harrumphed and stroked his goatee. “I may have to. I have to assign agents for a rtively
minor matter, and we’re a little short right now. Budget cuts, you know.”
“What is the minor matter?” Mark asked, hoping that if he got this old college professor talking technical
matters, he would forget about dropping ze.
“In fact, we’re so short of manpower that I may have to call in some civilians to assist in this
assignment,” he continued, ignoring Mark’s question. “And you know how much I hate to do that.”
Mark nodded, and Calvin looked distressed. Nobody in the agency liked to have to depend upon
civilians. But sometimes they had to. That was how ze had be an agent in the first ce. She
was a civilian who just happened to be the perfect duplicate in appearance of an agent who had
disappeared.
Dr. Hancock took a deep breath, and then tapped his finger on a folder on his desk.
“A scientist doing gic research at Swanson Labs is missing. Also missing is a fair amount of hisb
notes and other material of his advanced research into DNA maniption. There are no backup copies
of this material; apparently he erased everything before he disappeared. We need to find out what has
happened to Dr. Sorren. And get that research material back. Apparently, he was working in some
highly secret areas, and we cannot afford to let that information fall into the wrong hands. Thebs tell
me that he was making considerable progress at programming DNA.”
“We’ll get right on it,” Calvin said. He held out his hand for the file.
“I’ve already listed the names of two civilians who can assist us in this endeavor. You’ll find all the
information in here.”
Calvin picked up the folder and they left.
In the hallway, heading back to Calvin’s office, Mark breathed a sigh of relief. “That was close,” he said.
Calvin shook his head. “I know that you’re shacking up with agent ze,” he said, “Which is not a good
idea. Don’t let your feeling for her overridemon sense. Agents who be emotionally attached
usually get killed.”
They entered his office and he tossed the folder on his desk before heading for the coffee maker in the
corner.
Mark picked up the folder and began reading the first sheet of paper. It was the list of personnel Dr.
Hancock had picked for the assignment. As he read, his eyes widened. “Wow! ze is going to like
this.” He looked up as his boss handed him a cup of coffee. “One of the civilians he wants is a friend of
ze’s: Ste Walters!”
“You mean that famous escape artist?” Calvin said as he sat down. “Why would he want her?”
“Apparently she is going to make an appearance in Tokyo, Japan. And that is where Dr. Sorren was
last traced to. A man matching his description boarded a ne for Tokyo three days ago. Dr. Hancock
assumes that her show can act as a cover for inserting a team into Japan to look for Dr. Sorren.”
“Didn’t she have some trouble in Japan a little while ago?”
“Yes, she was kidnapped by white vers and sold to a man in Japan. She managed to escape.
Rescued her assistant also.”
“You would think she would want to have no part to do with Japan. Why is she doing it?”
“My guess would be for two reasons. One, the Japanese are very much into bondage, and escape
artists, especially females, are highly regarded. Secondly, the show will be a benefit for victims of the
recent earthquake.”
“Brave girl. Who else does he want?”
Mark consulted the sheet again. “Someone named Sled Speed. Strange name. Apparently he’s a
private investigator in California. The doctor thinks that his background will fit this assignment.
Apparently he did a good job of rescuing some kidnapped sorority girls, and he was involved in solving
the case of a mad scientist who was kidnapping college girls.”
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“Sounds like a good man,” Calvin said, sipping the hot coffee. “Even if he has a strange sounding
name. Well, get them together for a briefing. I’ll leave the details up to you. And, Mark…”
“Yes, sir?”
“I know that you’re not going along on this assignment because of your new duties, but try to make
sure that agent ze doesn’t screw up.”
“Yes, sir!”