Chapter 33: Not Yet Ready


    Daryl can''t even look at me straight in the eye while he''s driving his car. I don''t know why I felt irritated


    to myself.


    Why did I even tell him that? Why did I reveal that to him?


    After that talk, he didn''t say a word to me. He''s just on his knees while crying silently.


    I bit my lip again as I remember his expressions. I don''t know why I suddenly felt so soft from seeing


    him like this. This isn''t what I nned it to be.


    When we reached the NPK, he went silently off his car and opened the door for me. Before going out, I


    looked at him.


    He didn''t look back at me. He''s frowning, not only because he''s angry, not only because he''s


    emotional, but it was something else.


    “Are you going inside?” I asked him.


    He just sighed and shook his head.


    I nodded and went off.


    He stood on his car waiting for me to get inside. When I''m already at the door, I heard the engine of his


    car.


    I sighed.


    Why do I suddenly feel like my heart is too heavy? I took another deep breath and started walking.


    When I reached the room. I stayed on my door for a while, just staring at the gray rough surface of it.


    Looking at my reflection at the thin name te.


    He is now aware. But he didn''t ask where they are.


    I put on my thumb on the door to unlock. And went inside.


    I am feeling so heavy. I am feeling worse. I am feeling stupid and I feel like I''m really stupid.


    I grabbed my phone from my bag and dialed Julius.


    I guess he''s the only one who can understand me right now.


    “Julius.” I whispered.


    My tears began forming on my eyes.


    “Yes, Neysha? What happened?” He asked excitedly from the other side.


    “I told the twins father about them.” I said directly and my voice broke.


    I heard something got dropped from his side making me frown.


    “You did what!” He shouted.


    I cried. I held my chest as I walked to the sofa and dropped my body on it.


    “Yes...I did. And I don''t know.” I sobbed and cried.


    I don''t know. Why everything seems soplicated. I thought I was stronger but I am just a weak shit.


    And will always be a weak shit.


    I cried and cried while Julius was on the other side. I don''t know and I don''t understand how am I


    capable of crying this much after many years. Because thest time that I can remember, I cried like


    this way back 5 years ago only.Exclusive ? content by N(?)ve/l/Drama.Org.


    Did I deprived myself that much to hide these ugly feelings? And right now, I feel like my heart is going


    to burst out.


    I didn''t even realize it that I fell asleep on the couch from too much crying.


    I still have a pending schedule in my list but I don''t feel like going because my body is tired.


    I just wore a robe while sipping a coffee. I am texting my assistant that I will not be present on the


    schedule because I am sick.


    I went to the kitchen and brewed some coffee.


    I am reading some magazine while sipping some coffee.


    My phone beeped so I opened it only to see that my assistant sent me the approval of my request.


    I stopped eating bread for a bit when I realized that I woke up on the bed when I can clearly remember


    that I fell asleep on the sofa.


    I blink my sore eyes and shrugged. Maybe I sleep walked. Or maybe Daryl came and carried me to the


    bed.


    I sighed and sipped again.


    Every time what happened in Vi Kristine shbacks in my head, I always gets emotional, I don''t know


    what might Daryl do next and that''s a little bit of frustrating.


    I went back to my room with the coffee in my hand. And I almost spilled it when I saw Daryl in wet hair,


    he''s got his pants on now but he''s still topless.


    So, he''s really here?


    “You..you''re here?” I asked the obvious.


    He watched me with his eyes full of emotions I can''t decipher.


    “Yes. You were asleepst night so just carried you here.” He said casually.


    I nodded and walked straight on the coffee table. I didn''t notice him earlier because maybe he''s there in


    the bathroom and I already went straight to the kitchen.


    “Ney.” He called me after a moment of silence between us.


    I turned to look at him.


    “Yes.”


    He looked down and wore his white sleeves.


    “I''m sorry.” He whispered; I can barely hear it.


    I didn''t answer him. I just stayed there, standing while looking him intently.


    “I will make it up. I will make up everything, everything that I lost.” He said seriously and with conviction


    in his voice.


    I gulped. I don''t know if this information would bring me happiness, or fear... I don''t know.


    “Okay.” I just said.


    Pain crossed his eyes. I don''t care for a moment.


    I know there are times that I may feel that I am soft for him but my anger still consumes me in some


    reasons.


    “I will do everything, Neysha.” He whispered.


    “I''ll do anything to make everything on the right spot. I will do everything to amend with the time I lost


    with you...and to our family.”


    That statement just made my heart skip a beat.


    Daryl took five steps towards me and pulled me head.


    I gasp, especially when our lips met. He''s kissing me so passionately as if he''s exining more and


    more through this one.


    I don''t know Daryl, I don''t know what will happen next, but one thing''s for sure.


    I am not yet ready to show you our children. I am not yet ready to show you to my children.


    And I don''t think I could ever be ready to it.


    ***End of Chapter 33