Chapter 36: My Fear


    My Fear


    | closed my eyes and pretended to be asleep. Lucien arrived much faster than | anticipated and | wasn''t


    able to clean up anything. | was still naked


    under the covers and the bed was a mess for obvious reasons.


    | heard the sound of the door opening and then closing. Lucien is probably standing in this room right


    now. What should | do...should | wake up? Or


    should | continue pretending that I''m asleep?


    | heard his soft footsteps as he approached the bed and soon the bed creaked a little under his weight


    as he sat down on the side of the bed.


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    “Wake up, Natalia,” he whispered into my ear before kissing my temple. What was it that | sensed in his


    voice? Worry...and perhaps a little anger?


    “Lucien...?” | spoke his name in a drowsy whisper as | pretended that | had just woken up.


    “How are you feeling? Edward called metest night to tell me that you were sick. | was going to


    needed to rest up first,” Lucien asked me as his warm hand slowly stroked my head. This was so


    guilty.


    Instead of lying to him about my sickness or confessing the truth to him about my emotional breakdown


    and the reason for my spat with Edward, |


    decided to remain as truthful as possible by telling him about my disturbing nightmare. After all, the


    nightmare did make me feel sort of ill.


    “To be honest, I''ve been having a strange nightmaretely and because of that | haven''t been sleeping


    well...” | started to exin to him.


    “Do you want to tell me about your dream?” Lucien asked gently. If Natalia is having nightmares on


    repeat it might be linked to her fear. Perhaps |


    should get a skilled psychiatrist to help her? Lucien thought to himself silently.


    | began to describe my dream of being lost in the middle of a dark forest in the rain to Lucien. He


    listened intently and expressed his sympathies for


    me. He showed no indication that he is familiar with an event where | went missing or got lost in a


    forest. So, as | half expected, the event in my dream


    probably did not ur in real life after all.


    “Could it be your fear of the forest and the wilderness that is guing your dreams?” Lucien suggested


    after hearing me out.


    “Perhaps. | don’t remember why | hate being in the wild so much though.


    Nothing like the event in the dream happened to me before, right?” I had to ask just to make sure.


    “I don’t recall anything. You’re a city girl after all. Why would you get lost in a forest? I mean, we do


    have a prettyrge


    garden in the familypound, but it clearly does not resemble a forest,” Lucien was firm in his


    answer. He really seemed like


    he couldn’t believe that I could ever get lost in a forest given that I never headed out to one in the first


    ce. I guess he is


    right. I have to start letting go of my fears.


    “I guess you''re right. I’m truly sorry for worrying you,” I apologized for causing him trouble once again


    and for not being able


    to tell him the whole truth.


    “Rest up here and pleasee home at once. I will arrange some sessions with an outstanding doctor


    who can consult you


    regarding your nightmares. You look tired, you need to sleep better,” Lucien said to close the


    conversation before getting up


    from the bed. ncing back once at me on the way to the door, he looked like he was about to say


    something. However, in the


    end, Lucien left without uttering another word.


    Phew! That was close. Lucien is right, I need to rest up now...


    Edward was sitting on the sofa in the living room sipping tea when Lucien walked out of Natalia’s room.


    “Lucien, good morning. How’s Natalia?” Edward asked after greeting his brother.


    “She’s doing well. Thanks to you for taking such good care of your niece,” Lucien replied smoothly.


    “I’m d to here that she’s feeling better. I’ll take her back hometer,” Edward volunteered.


    “There’s no need to trouble you. Reiner will drive her back,” Lucien stated in a t voice leaving no


    room for negotiations.


    Edward bit his tongue.


    “Reiner. Help Natalia clean up when she gets home. I feel like she has been a bit dirtied...” Lucien’s


    deep voice instructed


    Reiner. Then he left.


    Did Lucien pick up on what happened between Natalia and I? Judging from his reactions, he is slightly


    suspicious but not yet


    sure. I’m sure Reiner has not reported anything of the sort either. Lucien would never believe that


    Reiner is in league with me


    which is probably thest saving grace in all this. We all have to take extra care from now on.


    In the back seat of his luxurious Rolls-Royce, Lucien was trying to get a hold on what just happened as


    he stared at the passing


    scenery. Something is bothering Natalia for sure. She looked tired, weak and sleep deprived which


    means that the story about


    her nightmare was most likely true. That can be fixed with some counselling. What was much more


    concerning was the smell of


    a man on Natalia’s skin that I sensed when I kissed her temple. The room smelled weakly of sex as


    well. It could be my


    imagination but there must have been a man in Natalia’s room up until recently.


    It is still groundless spection at this point. After all, Reiner had nothing to report regarding this topic.


    The possibility of Reiner


    colluding with Edward to keep this from me is very slim, although, still there. Over thinking this is not


    going to lead me


    anywhere. I left Edward with a warning already; let’s see if he heeds that warning well. My only fear is a


    change of heart on


    Natalia’s part regarding the person she loves, which is very unlikely. As long as Natalia doesn’t love


    anyone besides me, I


    couldn’t give two fucks...


    --To be continued..