I get my stic cup from upstairs, where the murky light of dawn lets me see enough not to stumble into things. In the bathroom, I quickly wash my shaky hands to get most of the blood off and then fill the cup. I almost don’t spill anything on my way down to the basement despite the tremors growing more intense.


    Jack lies on his back, shallow breaths falling out of his dry lips. I kneel, cradling his head in myp, and when he groans and cracks his eyes open, I bring the cup to his mouth. He drinks slowly, spilling some, and when the cup is finally drained, his eyes close, and he goes back into unconsciousness.


    I get up slowly, and when Caden sits up with a groan, I rush to his side. “How are you feeling?”Ccontent ? exclusive by N?/vel(D)ra/ma.Org.


    He rubs his unshaven face with a scratchy sound and yawns widely. “Like shit.”


    “I’ll get you some water.” I do another run with the cup, and when Ie back, Caden is kneeling by Ss, gently stroking his cheek, his other hand resting on Jack’s thigh. I hand him the water and he drinks it in small sips.


    I go back up to bring more, the running around helping me keep my emotions on a leash. Because, frankly speaking, I’m about to freak out. I don’t fully understand what happened, just suspect, and… it just seems too good to be true.


    But the sky lightens rapidly. It’s daytime. And they are still here. Or are they? I’m jumpy and anxious, feeling like anything can happen, because <span id="page_298">so many impossible things already did. I’m terrified I’ll lose them, and it seems inevitable I will. One way or another.


    Heart hammering fast, I practically run down the narrow stairs to find Ss sitting up and Jack stirring, Caden sitting between them both.


    I hand the cup to Ss and sit on my heels next to them, watching as he drinks. When he’s done, he thanks me with a nod, and for a moment, the four of us just stare at each other, eyes jumping from face to face.


    When the silence bes oppressive, and the strain of everything that happened threatens to break through, I clear my throat. “Um… It’s light out.”


    Caden nods while Ss frowns almost angrily, and Jack grabs my hand, twining his fingers tightly with mine. “Well, we’re still here,” he says, his voice raspy. “Alive and kicking.”


    Ss snorts, wincing when he shifts to sit morefortably. “Maybe you. I won’t be kicking anyone soon.”


    “But you’re alive,” Caden says, just a hint of uncertainty in his voice.


    Ss grunts, shifting again. “Fuck, I feel like shit. I feel like I’d rather be dead, so yeah. I’m definitely alive.”


    Caden nods, his eyes growing misty for one brief moment before he wipes his face roughly with his hands, hiding the trace of tears. Jack’s hold tightens on my hand, and he lets out a shuddering breath.


    “I think those were, like, their souls. Or maybe life. Fuck if I know. It’s just that… we took them. Now they are dead, and we’re back. Alive.”


    Ss looks at me with a hint of his cunning smile. “Seems poetic, doesn’t it, angel? Three for three. Your vengeful ghost protectors,” he says, huffing with amusement, “punished your three rapists and took their lives. You could write a song about this or something.”


    I shake my head, looking away, my throat closing up. “I don’t sing,” I say hoarsely. And then I make myself look up and ask them, because it’s better to know now. Rip the band aid off. “What will you do now?<span id="page_299">”


    Obviously, they can’t go back to their old lives. But they are resourceful, used to living on the fringes of thew. I know they’ll figure something out, meanwhile I… After everything, after experiencing the most perfect sex and intimacy in my life, I’ll get left behind. They don’t need me anymore. I’m not even sure they like me. Even Jack… I take a shaky breath, pushing down the memories of Jack’s crueltyst night. I deserved it all, but it makes me anxious about how he truly feels about me.


    “I’m dreaming about a shower and chicken wings,” Jack says. “And fuck, a cold beer. And sleep. Actual fucking sleep. In a bed.”


    Caden huffs, shaking his head fondly. “Well, you’re not wrong. Food, shower, and bed. I feel like I could sleep for a week.”


    I look at Ss expectantly, my insides curling into a tight ball, because I dread what he’ll say. Soon, they will start nning where to go. Maybe a motel? My eyes dart to the three bodies, still tied to the chairs, my messy handwriting branding Michael’s chest. When bile rises in my throat, I quickly look away, catching Ss’s eye. He watches me closely, and I have this ufortable feeling he can read my mind.


    “What do you think we should do now, angel?” he asks. I open and close my mouth, not really knowing how to answer, and Ss arches a perfect brow, mocking me. “The four of us,” he adds, his voice softening.


    Oh, my God. My chest squeezes painfully, and I have to blink to turn back tears. When I finally speak, my voice sounds wet but almost calm. “Um. Clean up here. It’s a crime scene, right? And our… um. Our bodily fluids are all over this house. My b-blood is in the room upstairs.”


    Jack flinches, instantly straightening despite his exhaustion. “Fuck, you’re right. Oh, man. Can we really clean this up perfectly? So they don’t find anything?”


    “We’ll have to,” Caden answers, his jaw set. “I’m not worried about us, because we’re officially dead. But Harlow… We’ll get you a new ID,” he says, <span id="page_300">turning to me. “I know a guy. He’s reliable and tough enough not to get a heart attack when he sees I’m alive.”


    I nod warily, ncing at Ss again. His lip curls mockingly, and we stare at each other for a long moment, my heart beating faster and faster, until…


    “And then we’ll leave this hole and go far, far away. Find a new ce to live. Together. The four of us.”


    I’m so hot, so choked up inside, it feels like I’m bursting. Ss shakes his head with a snort and moves closer, ruffling my hair until I wince. “Honestly, angel. Stop looking so forlorn. Of course you’reing with us. We’re a family now. Well, the kind where everyone fucks each other.”


    I snort withughter, and Jack and Caden join in. When this huge, crushing weight lifts off my shoulders, I can’t stop beaming at each of them in turn. And yes, they look exhausted and are in need of washing, but they are also the most handsome, most perfect men on Earth. I still can’t believe they want me with them for the long haul. But maybe someday, I will.


    We sit there for a moment longer, grinning at each other, until Caden ps his hands.


    “All right. There should be old bleach in the bathroom. We don’t need to worry about your hair, because you’ve been here before, like many other people. But the blood and other fresh stuff has to go.”


    I stand up, and Jack follows me, wobbling slightly. When I give him a worried look, he winces. “I think I’m dehydrated. And starving. But I’ll be fine. Should just drink more water.”


    “Then you two go up. Find the bleach,” Caden says, already surveying the basement with a frown. “We’ll sweep through here. Make sure nothing’s left behind. Like this cup.”


    He picks up the stic cup and hands it to me. “All our things. Clothes, the ropes, stuff like that—it has to go. Find a trash bag or something.”


    I go with Jack, and we all get busy cleaning up. My men are methodical and thorough, even though Jack grumbles about being hungry all the time, <span id="page_301">but it just makes me smile. Busy cleaning, I am safe from all my griefs, guilt, and terror, though I feel them lurking.


    Because I killed two men here. I killed Michael, my ex who raped me, and Ryan, a guy who wanted to hurt me. And I didn’t kill him for anything he did or nned to do to me. I killed him to save Ss, and it feels, at once, cleaner and dirtier than my guilt about Michael. Whenever the memory of Ryan’s gurgling surfaces, I swallow and swallow until my tight stomach unknots marginally. And then I get busier. And busier.


    Until we all gather in the dusty living room downstairs, the space looking simply sad and abandoned in the light of day. I shudder, thinking how terrifying it wasst night.


    “We’ll leave after dark,” Caden says, rubbing his tired, blood-shot eyes. “I know a ce we can go, but we can’t be seen.”


    Jack yawns, and Ss rubs his forehead, ring at him with disgust. The more tired he gets, the grumpier he is, and I find it almost as adorable as Jack’s whining about food. And Caden is just… Just so good. Hispetence makes me feel safe.


    All of them together are so perfect, I would rather be nowhere else, even though I hate this house and long for sleep just as much as they do.


    We wait for the night to fall, dozing off in turns, though Caden makes sure at least one of us keeps watch at all times. No onees to this house, but we still have to be careful. We don’t know when the search for Michael and his friends will start. Or if anyone knows they came in here. And maybe not right away, but someone is bound to check this house sooner orter, and we should be far away by then.


    “Okay, I think it’ste enough.” Caden rouses us from a half-sleeping, half-awake stupor. I sit on the floor with my back against the wall, my head on Ss’s shoulder, Jack’s head on mine. “Come on. It’s about an hour on foot.<span id="page_302">”


    Jack groans but gets up without a fuss, and we set out. Caden leads us through back alleys, and then through cold fields, the uneven soil hard under our feet. It’s freezing, so much colder thanst night, but we keep a good pace. My hand is in Jack’s, and Ss walks behind me or on my other side, eyes constantly surveying our surroundings.


    Finally, we approach a high wall of something that looks like a luxurious private property in the countryside. We left the town behind some time ago, though its lights still wink in the distance. The cold wind howls as Caden motions for us to wait, approaching a tall tree growing close by the wall, and starts climbing.


    “He’ll scout ahead,” Ss mutters. When I shake, my teeth chattering despite Jack’s warm arms around me, Ss stands in front of me and wraps us both in a hug. “It’s over, guys. It’s done. We can rest now.”


    I burrow into him, Jack’s body cushioning me from behind, and we stand like that, their warmth warding off the November chill, their closeness calming my nervous heart. I close my eyes and drink it in, letting myself believe it for a moment.


    I’ll never be alone again. I belong to them.


    “Here,”es Caden’s muffled voice, and we head toward what turns out to be a small gate in the wall. He holds it open for us.


    “I did andscaping job here,” he exins, leading us through a dark garden, our shoes scraping against a stone path. “The ownerse here maybe once every three years or so. They keep spare keys hidden in the garden shed.”


    Ss snorts, and Caden chuckles, opening the back door to let us in. “This is also where I hid my money,” he adds smugly after he clicks on the lights.


    We reel on him, Jack gaping. “What, here? Wouldn’t they find it?”


    Caden shakes his head, grinning widely as his eyes crinkle. Despite his exhaustion, he looks so handsome and confident, <span id="page_303">I want to lick him. “I buried it in the garden, in a ce no one was likely to dig. I’ll get it out tomorrow.”


    He assures us there is no rm in the house, but Ss double checks. And there really isn’t. This is a luxurious but older building, the design leaning toward hunter’s lodge style, with dark wood paneling the walls, furs lying on the floors, and antlers disyed proudly in the living room.


    Caden hands each of us a trash bag to put our bloody clothes in. We’re going to burn what we can tomorrow and dispose of other things, like the knife, when we get into another state. He’s really got it all figured out, and Ss only nods, quirking an impressed brow at Caden.


    And I guess he should know. He killed people before tonight.


    When I shiver, still cold, because the heating is turned off, Jack takes me to the kitchen where we ransack the cupboards, and Caden goes looking for the water heater to turn it on. Ss gets busyying a fire in the firece, and soon, the four of us are sprawled on the furs in front of the fire, eating crackers and canned peaches, steaming mugs of tea by our sides.


    Caden gets a first aid kit and fusses over my shoulder, cleaning the wound and wrapping it in clean bandages. Jack catches on and cleans my bloody knuckles, putting an antibiotic ointment on the raw skin. Ss nces at me with glittering eyes that reflect the fire. Finally, he grunts, pushing Caden away, and criticizes his bandage-tying technique. He makes a show of correcting it.


    When they’re done, I nod off, pressed to Jack until he wakes me up with a gentle kiss, letting me know the water’s warm. There are four bathrooms in the house, a big one downstairs and three en-suites, and each of us takes one before we all crash on the massive bed in the master bedroom, not even bothering to find new clothes.