Chapter 5: No Way


    “I don’t have a father. What is this bullshit?” I asked, almost yelled, at Noah.


    His face remained showing no emotion. “ording to Mr. Lavins, your father, you’re his daughter.”


    “Can you not call him my father? He’s just a sperm donor. Someone who didn’t want to take


    responsibility for his ‘mistake.’” I made air quotes when saying mistake.


    “Ma’am,” Noah said, “that’s not the full story. I believe there’s more to that.”


    “Please don’t call me ma’am,” I told him. “I know you know my name since my sperm donor hired you,”


    I emphasized the “sperm donor” part.


    I’ve been living for 23 and in none of those years has my actual father shown up. He missed too many


    things—he literally missed my whole life. He wasn’t there when I needed him. He wasn’t there at all. He


    wasn’t there when we had the father and daughter dance at school, nor was he there when I got my


    first boyfriend.


    Yet he has the audacity to just walk right into my life? He’s dead to me.


    I didn’t notice tears were trailing down my face until I noticed Noah holding out tissues for me. I took the


    tissues and wiped my face, slightly embarrassed. “Sorry.”


    “No need to apologize. Although I’m not in your position, I know this is hard andplicated. You’re


    allowed to cry,” he said.


    I was silent for a few seconds. “Thank you…Do you know the full story?” I decided to ask. “Do you


    know why my father’s not here, if he even is my father? Nothing’s adding up to me. My mom and step-


    dad told me that he didn’t want me and wanted my mom to get an abortion. And when she refused, he


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    just left and never looked back once. It’s…painful knowing your father doesn’t want you nor your mom.”


    I might’ve overshared but I didn’t care. He wasing to me telling me my father hired him to watch


    out for me. Why? I needed answers no matter what the cost was.


    “Eleonora, your father was out of town yesterday when I called him to tell him about you being in the


    hospital. When he heard, he took the first flight he could find toe here so he could make sure you


    were okay. Right now he’s not here, but he will be here in a moment.


    “And, your father didn’t even know you existed, mind you. He just found out when your mom went to his


    office a few weeks ago and told him that he had a daughter. I understand if you’re confused right now,


    but I’m sure you won’t be confused once you talk to him.”


    “Why did she just tell him that he had a daughter?” I asked. It didn’t make sense.


    “She wanted money.” Oh.


    I gritted my teeth. “Of course she does. I mean, it’s not like she even put foot on the table for me to eat.


    She just went out and spent it all on expensive clothes and useless stuff. And instead of buying me


    clothes to go to school with? She went out partying. I don’t even know why I call her a mother,” I ranted,


    forgetting that he was in the room with me.


    “To make things clear, Noah, I don’t want to meet my dad, Mr. Lavins. I don’t care if he didn’t know


    about me until recently. I lived long enough without him and I don’t want him toe into my life. So


    you and him can go fuck off,” I sternly said.


    Noah sighed. “Listen, Eleonora, I understand you’re going through a lot. However, your father will not


    let you go back to doing what you do for money. It’s too dangerous, is what he said. I talked to the


    doctor and he said that once you’re discharged you won’t be able to take care of yourself properly. You


    need someone to support you. That’s why you’ll be living with your father.”


    “Excuse me?” I yelled. “Who the hell said you can make decisions for me? I’m not going to fucking live


    with him. He has a family that I’m not a part of, nor do I want to be a part of it. And what do you and him


    know about danger? I’ve been doing this since I was 18. I can take care of myself,” I spit out.


    “Are you happy that you’ve been doing this since you were 18? The person who attacked you, whoever


    he is, knew what they were doing and if I wasn’t hired by your fathe—by Mr. Lavins to watch over you,


    you would’ve gotten seriously injured and possibly died. Mr. Lavins is a good man and he truly cares for


    you. Even Dan, that guy you hang out with, can’t take care of you. Mr. Lavins can.”


    “What, do you think you’re my fucking therapist or something? No, I don’t enjoy sleeping with men. I’d


    rather die. And, no matter what you or my father say, I’m not going to live with him. I can take care of


    myself. So fuck you, Noah, and fuck everyone else. Now get out of this room. You’re making my head


    hurt.”


    Noah sighed once again before walking out of the room. His footsteps were, surprisingly, not that loud.


    Once he left, I closed my eyes and tried to rx.


    I would rather die than live with my so-called father. It’s toote for him to get his daughter back. Far


    toote.


    I would never be able to stand watching him with his own kids. Laughing, ying, having dinner. We


    were supposed to do that. But we didn’t, and never will.


    I wish Noah was never hired. Maybe then I would’ve died and not have to deal with this shitty life.