I open my mouth to refuse his request, but my eyes wander over to my son-my son who looks exactly like his father and a sense of stillness washes over me. I know that for Max’s sake, I need to hear him out. I have no legal right to refuse n. It urs to me that if I try to deny him ess to Max, he could getwyers involved and try to get joint custody. I don’t want that.


    “I… I don’t know, n. I’ve met someone,” I say. “I’m happy.” The image of Pace’s intense gaze as he sunk into mest night, so concerned with my arm, and my pleasure, rips through me making me shiver.


    “Please,” he begs. “Wouldn’t it be best for our son if we were together?”


    I tell him that I need time to think, and we end the call.


    My mind is ying through various scenarios all day long, but I’m unable to escape that realization that n is right about one thing. I owe it to Max to at least talk to n. It is best for Max if I give him a fair, fighting chance at a rtionship. It will not be easy for him to win my trust back, and I don’t even know if he deserves a shot after the way he walked out on me, but it’s in Max’s best interest. And there is nothing I would not do for my son.


    I call him back several hourster.


    “Okay,” I say. No hello, no formal pleasantries, because I am not in the mood for all the fanfare. I feel like I’m conceding-like I’m giving up a piece of myself. I’ve had Max all to myself this entire time, so maybe I am. Even if it is the right thing to do for all involved.This text is property of N?/velD/rama.Org.


    “Okay?” he asks.


    “You can meet him,” I say.


    “Today. Are you free?”


    Knowing that Pace won’t be home untilte, I agree. “Okay. The park by my house. I’ll text you when Max wakes up from his nap, and we’ll head over there.”


    “I will be there,” n says, excitement heavy in his voice.


    I pull in a deep breath, trying to quiet all of the warring emotions inside of me. “See you then.”


    ***


    n arrives right on time, hitting the button on his key fob to lock his Mercedes before starting across the park toward us. His eyes immediately stray from mine over to Max.  He swallows, nervously and licks his lips. “Wow.” He’s looking Max over from top to bottom, no doubt amazed at the uncanny resemnce.


    n looks different. Older somehow. There are little lines around his eyes and more weight around his middle than I remember. He sits quietly on the bench beside me and watches Max ys with a set of trucks I’ve brought. Max seems pretty oblivious to his presence. n seemspletely humbled.


    He’d arrived empty handed, and I’m not sure what I expected, but I guess it was something more than nothing. Not that gifts would make up for his year-long absence, but maybe it’d be a small token in the right direction-and provide something so that Max could immediately rte to this new, strange man. Even Pace, bachelor extraordinaire, thought to bring a gift the first time he spent time with Max.


    n sits with his hands folded in hisp watching Max y and babble. “He’s beautiful. Does he say any words?”


    “Yes, Mumma and ball are all he says right now, but he knows the signs for lots of things. Eat, milk, more, and all done.” I could babble on and on. I want him to understand how amazing Max is and that it’s entirely his fault that he chose not to be part of it. I’m still angry, and rightly so, but I’m trying to be open for what is best for my son.


    It’s a strange sensation knowing I share a child with this man. We made the little being ying between us. I feel uneasy, yet part of me knows that being here today, introducing n to his son is the right thing.


    It makes me sad realizing how many things n has missed. Max’s birth, his baptism, his first birthday, his first steps. I blink back tears. At least he’s here now. It’s going to take a while for him to build a rtionship with Max. But then I realize how that’s not entirely true. Max and Pace bonded almost instantly. But then again, Pace got right down on the ground and interacted with him. Spoke to him and showed him things. n is sitting quietly beside me like he’s confused. Maybe he’s still in shock.


    I don’t know why I keep thinking about Pace. As amazing asst night was, I’ve known from the start his world and mine don’t mix. And now that n seems like he wants to be back in the picture, I’m more confused than ever.