Chapter 17
Brielle
8:09 PM
Sam and I sat at our favorite diner, Randy''s Shack. Whenever any of us were stressed out or needed
to eat our feelings, we always order two double chocte shakes and onion rings to split. Today, I
needed them more than ever.
When Christopher first ditched me on the sidewalk after our kiss, I was shocked. I couldn''t wrap my
brain around the fact that one moment his lips were pressed against mine, and then the next, he was
gone.
But after the initial shock wore off, I just grew angry. How dare he leave me there after that! I
immediately called Sam in my need to vent, and we have been here ever since.
"You know what really pisses me off?" I asked Sam, rhetorically of course. "The fact that he gave me
no reason and just ran, like who does that?" I took a long slurp of my shake before catching my breath.
"And to be honest, he''s not even that cute anymore. He''s one of those guys that look good from afar,
but when you look at them up close they just look worse and worse. He''s basically a catfish."
I looked up at Sam for confirmation but was only answered with a slight nod of her head and a soft
murmur. Her eyes seemed to have zed over, staring at the Beatles poster hung on the wall.
"Sam!" I pped my hands in front of her face, causing her eyes to snap towards mine. She looked
disheveled for a second before finally returning to reality.
"I was listening!" she said in a high-pitched voice, lying straight through her teeth. She spotted my
knowing nce before finally confessing.
"Okay fine, I wasn''t, but can you me me? You''ve been talking about how much you hate him for like
two hours." She yed with the straw in her empty cup. "A friend can only take so much."
I rubbed my eyes, resting my forehead on the cool table. "I know," I groaned, looking back at her. "It''s
just that he''s stuck in my head, you know? And no matter how much I try to shake him I can''t stop
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thinking about him."
I rubbed my temples with my fingers, feeling a head acheing on. "It''s just so frustrating."
"I know," Sam said, looking at me with sympathetic eyes. "That''s why I texted him to meet us."
"What!" My jaw dropped as my eyes grew wide.
"I had to!" she eximed, quickly defending herself. "You''ve been saying the same thing over and over
for the past thirty minutes. If I didn''t do something, I was going to go insane."
A look of hurt was stered on my face. I couldn''t help feeling a little betrayed. I just wanted someone
to vent to, I wasn''t ready to confront Christopher.
She must have sensed this because her tone grew softer, her eyes locked onto mine.
"I don''t know what''s going on between you to, but you deserve to know. It hurts me to see you
distraught like this. Whether you guys get together or not, you deserve closure."
I bit my lip, nodding my head in agreement. I wanted to know why he ran, but the thought of even
talking to him made my heart race in nervousness. What if it wasn''t a crazy reason at all, and he just
ran away because he decided that he didn''t like me, or he wanted to be with Mnie more.
The sound of the bell attached to the door of the restaurant interrupted my thoughts. Before even
looking, I knew it was him. I quickly opened a menu, trying to hide my face behind it.
"We need to go." I angrily whispered at Sam. "Now." I peeked over the top of the menu, spotting
Christopher scanning the room for where we might be.
paused for a second, before picking up her purse from the table and standing up. I let out a sigh of
relief, hoping that we would be able to make a clean get away.
Instead, however, she mouthed the word sorry before turning towards Christopher.
"Christopher we''re over here!"
My heart sank.
He was almost at our table when she whispered to me, "This is for your own good." She quickly walked
away, leaving me and Christopher alone.
"You know that you don''t have to hide behind the menu anymore," he joked, causing my face to turn
red. I set the menu down, bing the usual shy, nervous wreck that I was around him. However,
something about the way he smiled brought me back to our kiss, and the way that he ditched me
afterwards. The thought of it reced my nervousness with anger.
"What do you want," I snipped. He flinched, seeming to be taken aback by my sudden attitude.
"I just wanted to say that I''m sorry," he responded, scanning my face for any hint of what I was feeling. I
tried my hardest to be expressionless, because under all my anger, I was hurt, and I didn''t want him to
know.
"Well, I ept your apology." I sped my hands together and set them on the table. "Are we done
now?"
"Brielle," he said, cing his hand on top of mine. I yanked my hand out from under his, cutting him off
before he could finish what he was saying.
"Don''t touch me." My voice cracked. I felt my angry resolve start to crumble, until all that was left was
the raw hurt that he caused me. I felt tears well up in the back of my eyes, and I tried to my hardest to
push them back.
"I put myself out there for you, something that I never do, and you have the nerve to kiss me and then
run away without any exnation?" A tear rolled down my cheek, and I angrily brushed it away.
"Well, guess what Christopher? Screw you. Because sorry doesn''t cut it." I quickly stood up from my
chair and made my way out of the diner, not even bothering to look back. The tears began to fall down
my face all at once, to the point where there was no controlling them.
I was halfway through the parking lot before someone grabbed onto my wrist and spun me around. His
face softened when he spotted the tears falling down my cheeks.
"Let go of me," I ordered, trying to yank my wrist from his grasp.
"Please," he pleaded. "Just hear me out." I let out a deep huff before I stopped resisting, making him
drop my wrist.
"I just want to know why you did it. Why you ran away."
He paused, a pained expressioning over his face. He hesitated, trying to speak, before giving up
and looking away.
"That''s what I thought." I wiped thest of my tears. I was done crying over him. I turned and began to
walk away from him. However, once he began to speak I stopped dead in my tracks.
"I ran because I was scared. I''ve never felt this way about anyone before." He took a deep breath
before continuing. "After what happened with my parents, I don''t like to let people get close to me,
because the more people that you care about, the more chances you have of being hurt. I was scared
that if I let you in and we didn''t work out, it would break me."
He was now behind me. I spun around to face him, our noses almost touching.
"But I''m not afraid anymore."
I thought about how easy it would be to kiss him, to forget everything that happened between us and
move forward.
But I couldn''t.
I stepped away from him, not being able to meet his gaze. I stuffed my hands into my pockets and
looked anywhere but at him. "I should probably go."
I looked up at him, his eyes shing with hurt before bing unreadable. "At least let me drive you
home."
I nodded my head silently before following him to his car. My house had never felt farther away as we
drove in silence, each of us consumed in our own thoughts. No matter how much I wanted to kiss him
back there, I knew that I couldn''t.
Ever since I''ve had a crush on him, I''ve be someone that I don''t recognize. Someone who tries to
wear revealing clothes just to get a guy''s attention, someone who cries for hours and talks their friends
ear off over a boy. Everything that I prided myself on not being, I was bing. And the only thing
scarier than getting my heart broken by Christopher, was losing sight of who I was.
When we pulled up in front of my house, something stopped me from getting out immediately. Just like
I wanted an exnation from him, he deserved an exnation from me.
"I feel like I''m losing myself." I said still looking out the car window. "I was once that girl who cried over
guys, and I promised myself that I would never be that girl again, and that scares me."
I began fiddling with my fingers before finally mustering up the courage to look up at him. "I just feel like
I''m changing myself, and I don''t want to."
He paused for a moment before responding. "I don''t want you to change either, because you''re perfect
the way you are."
"I like the Brielle that broke into the football field despite not knowing how to kick a field goal, the Brielle
who gave me hell for kissing you in front of all the football yers, and the Brielle that woke up at five
in the morning just to surf with me."
"So, I don''t want you to feel like you ever have to change for me, because I wouldn''t change a thing
about you."
"Really?" I asked, surprised that he felt that way about me.
He stuck out his pinkie. "I promise." I wrapped my finger around his, a smile on my face.
We sat in afortable silence for a few moments before I broke it. "I should probably go inside, if
Scottes out he''ll freak." I opened the car door and made my way to the porch. I was on my front
step when he yelled out behind me.
"Wait!" he called, jumping out of the car and running up to me. "I need to do something first."
I was going to ask him what it was, but before I could speak, his mouth was on mine. I leaned into the
kiss, wrapping my arms around his neck. He pulled away too quickly, leaving my lips feeling bare.
"Come out with me on Friday," he breathily half-asked, half-demanded.
"Like a date?"
He shed me smile, "You already know the answer to that. Are you in?"
I paused, pretending to think about it while biting my lip.
"I''m in."