Chapter 25.


    Anger.


    There''s a point in everyone''s life where they experienced that word. It might be frequent for people with


    bad tempers and once in a while for calm and calcted persons but the point is, humans are bound to


    flip when they''ve gotten to their anger limit.


    I always wondered what would ever make a slow tempered person like Maverick lose his shit but on


    this day that I can literally see fumesing out from his nose and ears, I finally got my answer.


    I made him lose his shit. Or should I say Tony did?


    "He...You...What??" He splutters.


    "It''s a long story..."


    "I want to hear it," He cuts me short.


    "But I don''t want to talk about it!" I yell this time. "I don''t want to relive that moment! You can''t make


    me!"


    Huge fat sobs spill from my eyes and he looks taken aback from my outburst. I want to run out of the


    now ustrophobic room but I''m certain he''d hold me back so I just sit there and let the tears run down


    my face. My breathing is getting ragged and my brain is shing memories of Tony''s house. I suddenly


    feel dizzy as all blood drains from my face.


    My panic attackes rushing back after so many weeks.


    "Fuck! What''s happening?" Maverick has never seen me in my panic attacks and I''m sure he''s about to


    get one now from my reaction to the whole issue. "Just breathe, April, Breathe. Let it pass." He pulls


    me to his chest and envelopes me in his arms. I''m trying to work hard on my breathing but it''s just not


    working out.


    Why is he making me talk about it? I just want to forget what happened.


    Tony''s face shes in my head and suddenly, my brain spirals into its own toxic mixture of cowardice


    and pain. I stay tangled in his arms with my head pressed to his chest as the soothing rhythm of his


    heartbeat makes me feel somewhat safe, thereby making my breathing more steady and controble.


    I move away from him to look him in the eyes as he brushes a blonde strand of hair out of my face and


    then cups my face with such tenderness like I''d break that it makes me want to cry. With a thumb, he


    brushes the shameless tear from my cheek.


    My eyes hold so many emotions that are too heavy to carry so I let more tears spill without control. I


    feelfortable like this, with him.


    "You didn''t tell me about your panic attacks," He finally says.


    "There''s a lot of things I haven''t told you. And I''m stupid for thinking I could hide this for so long."


    "I shouldn''t havee at you that way, it''s ok if you don''t want to talk about it..."


    "No," I shake my head. "It''s time I face my fears. I can''t be a coward forever. Isn''t that what half of the


    enough time to recollect myself.


    "It was around this period a year ago..."


    Summer was gone and so were my chances of getting tanned. I just came back from another failed


    interview at apany.


    The living room was dimly lit but I knew Tony was home as I saw his shoes outside. I craved Ice-cream


    at that moment because it was literally the only thing that kept me happy.


    I heard the bedroom door behind me open as I got out the Vani vored Ice-cream from the


    refrigerator. I don''t know why I didn''t turn on the lights but I swear to God, I should''ve.


    I felt someone''s presence behind me and I knew it was Tony because no one else lived with us. The


    only thing I needed to do at that moment was just to rx and talk to someone but when I turned


    around to face him in the dimly lit room...


    My jaw fell to the ground and so did my cup of ice-cream when heunched forward and forced his


    mmy lips on mine.


    "Tony stop. I''m not in the mood," I attempted to push him away but he only tightened his grip and ran


    his hand down my chest. "We talked about this already, get off me."


    "You''re mine. I''ll have you whenever I want to," He dragged out and before I could respond, I felt


    something sharp pierce my neck and it didn''t take me a minute for me to realize it was a shot.


    I was being drugged.


    Everything gradually became a blur even with my sses on and I struggled to stand steady on my


    feet but the drug already ran all over me, paralyzing almost all my muscles.


    I felt myself being dragged to the bedroom and the hairs at the back of my neck stood, my body


    bes rigid, as it registers what''s happening. But I couldn''t do anything about it. It was useless trying


    to fight him but I gave it my shot. I was dumb.


    I saw that smirk on his face when he climbed over me. It gradually began to feel numb as I closed my


    eyes and let my emotions take over.


    He told me it wasn''t a big deal the next day and that it was normal for couples to be intimate. I


    believed him even when I knew it was wrong. I believed I loved him even when I thought of a thousand


    reasons not to. I believed no one would love me as he did. I got brainwashed.


    Slowly, I began to lose self-worth. I smiled on the outside but my heart bled. Jim couldn''t know about it,


    he''d sue his ass all the way to Europe. I tried protecting him and got hurt at the end.


    I lost myself to this monster who wears a smirk like an attire.


    ~~~~~~~~~


    Hardly can I remember thest time I slept this long. I fell into a dreamless slumber after I told Maverick


    the whole story.


    I made him swear he wouldn''t tell Jim about it. He was hesitant at first but my tears won him over. I fell


    asleep in his arms and clung on to him like my life depended on it like he''d disappear into thin air if I let


    go.


    I sit up from my bed and notice he left already, the empty space beside me already cold from his


    presence. I wonder how long he watched me sleep. Did he like my new hairdo? He never said anything


    about it.


    The loud rumbling sound of my stomach reminds me I had not eaten a single thing throughout the day.


    I pick up my phone to look at the time and my eyes widen when it reads 3:05 am. I literally slept the


    whole day.


    Scrambling to my feet, I rush into the bathroom to have a shower and change intofortable clothes


    not before having a mouth wash.


    The living room is night dark when I walk into it. Me not being a huge fan of the dark, I rush over to turn


    on the lights and almost jump out of my skin when I see a figure sitting on the counter.


    "Holy shit," I cuss. "What are you doing up sote?"


    "I couldn''t sleep," Maverick replies and scratches the back of his head. "What are you doing up so


    "I was hungry."


    "Typical." He chuckles and throws a banana at me which I catch it with a hand, peeling off the back and


    deep throating the whole thing.


    "Spill. What''s on your mind?" I ask after disposing of the banana peel. I feel his eyes following my


    every move as I settle beside him on the counter.


    "You," He picks up my wrists and ces my tiny palm on his broad ones. "It pains me to see how long


    you''ve coped with such burden and still manage to smile. I''m sorry you''re hurting."


    "I don''t get it. Why do bad things happen to me?" I think aloud.


    "Maybe it''s because you''re the good that happens to others," He doesn''t know it but there''s an


    explosive eruption of joy in my belly when he says that. It sounds so convincing that I almost want to


    believe it. "Let''s just ditch that topic for today, it''s stupid to bring it back up. What''s your favorite book?"


    "Well that''s random," I breathe out augh at his attempt to change the topic. "I have quite a lot but I


    think I''d go with Romeo and Juliet."


    "Ah, Shakespeare. An iconic writer."


    "You read too?" I ask out of surprise.


    "Please, what''s a house without books? I have a library down in the basement stacked with


    Shakespeare''s works," He tells me. "Don''tugh, but I actually act some of his dramas out."


    "You''re kidding," Maverick gives a nk look as I burst outughing. "Show me one of your acts, I want


    to see."


    He clears his throat and steps down from the counter. "But soft! What lies through yonder window


    breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun. Arise fair sun, and kill the envious moon who is already sick


    and pale with grief. That thou her maid art far more fair than she."


    Maverick clears his throat again to do a representation of Juliet which has me almost rolling on the


    floor. "Ay me!"


    "She speaks." He continues as Romeo. "O, speak again, bright angel! For thou art as glorious to this


    night, bring o''er my head as is a winged messenger of heaven. Unto the white-upturned wondering


    eyes of mortals that fall to gaze on him when he bestrides thezy pacing clouds and sails upon the


    blossom of the air."


    "O Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo? Deny thy father and refuse thy name, or if thou wilt


    not, be but sworn my love. And I''ll no longer be a capulet."


    He gives a bow after the whole thing and I sp my hands together and beam up at him. "That was


    silly but at the same time spot on."


    "I know, I know. But let me ask you one question."


    "What?"


    "Do you feel better?"


    Actually, I do. I now understand he was trying to distract me from the heaviness I was feeling on my


    shoulders. It''s kind of scary how perfectly well he can influence my emotions. How easily he can pull


    me out of my dark thoughts with silly actions like this one.


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    "I do. Just promise me you''ll never do an act again." He grins and joins me on the floor.


    "It''s better with my costumes on."


    "You have costumes?!" I gape at him as he throws his head back inughter. We spend the rest of the


    night sharingughs and forgetting the rest of the world. I watch himugh at things I say and it''s


    contagious, the happiness, the brightness radiating from him.


    Right now, I want nothing else to matter. Let''s just be in our own world.


    I promised myself. I promised myself not to fall in love with him. But it was 4 am and we wereughing


    way too hard, and I felt happy for the first time in a long time... And I knew I was screwed.