*****


    PROLOGUE


    ir would never understand people. She would never understand why people fed lies of love when they knew there were starved souls on the street. Why people made promises they knew they could never keep. Why they raised up your hopes even when they knew it was impossible. How they could look you in the eyes, say they love you and break your heart the next minute.


    “I can’t do it anymore ir, I’m sorry. I tried, but they have my hands tied and I can’t do anything now.


    When she had heard those words, she thought it could mean anything, anything but Richard breaking off their engagement. She thought he was in trouble, and had been ready to help, in any way she could, even if she had to run to him, barefoot, still dressed in her pyjamas.


    Who has your-What are you talking about Richard? Please tell me, did something happen? Why do you sound this way?


    The minute of silence that followed after that, only increased ir’s fear. With each passing second, her fear only heightened as the shaky breathsing from Richard pushed her closer to the edge.


    Nothing happened to me ir, the engagement, it’s off. I can’t do it anymore. I won’t be home… I’m not in town anymore ir, I… I’m sorry, goodbye.


    He ended the call after that. She had sat in shock for awhile, the first thing that had run through her mind was an image of her throwing her favourite slippers at Richard when he came home and admitted he had been pulling a prank on her. ir had refused to believe it, refused to worry. She had spent her entire day, going on with regr activities, telling friends about Richard silly prank. Richard didn’t return home that day. He didn’t show up the next day, and the weeks that followed after ir still slept alone on the bed they had once shared.


    “We were nning on having an August wedding.” Was the first thing ir had said to her best friend Samantha before bursting out into tears. It was at that moment it hit her, Richard was really gone, life was no fairytale. Nothing was going to happen between she and Richard. He was gone for good. He was almost gone forever. ir could not help as she weeped. The pain wasced in her soul. She had never felt this kind of pain before in her entire life. ir was lost, she could not be found and she knew this.


    *****


    **


    ir was woken up from sleep by her mother’s call. “ir! Finally I’ve been trying to reach you since yesterday.” ir frowned at the tone in her mother’s voice. It didn’t hold it’s usually cheer or positive vibe. Ever since Richard’s departure Samantha and her parents have been the only ones making things better, which she was really grateful for, but today was different. “ir are you there? Can you hear me… or is this stupidwork acting up again,” she muttered thest part, sounding frustrated.


    “I uh… wasn’t feeling too well yesterday, stayed in bed all day. I also wasn’t with my phone, I forgot it in Samantha’s room the other day and haven’t opened it since,” she lied, hoping her mother wouldn’t question more on that, because she wasn’t really good at holding a lie, especially to her parents.


    ir had actually been with her phone when her mother called and even listened to the voice note she was sent, but yesterday had been such a terrible day and the only reason she didn’t answer was because she didn’t want her mother to know of the state she was in. “Did you want to tell me something?” She sat up, clearing her throat.


    “Yes,” she said. “Will you pleasee home this Friday? There is something your Father and I would like… have to discuss with you. I mean, I hope you aren’t too busy toe see us… like tomorrow?”


    “Tomorrow? Can’t this discussion be done over the phone? I don’t think I cane. You know I have work, I will be busy thiswith… work.” She told another lie. ir was currently unemployed, after Richard left, the betrayal left it’s effect on every aspect of ir’s life. She couldn’t concentrate on anything, and her boss was starting toin, she had to submit her resignationter before she would be fired. “If this is really important I can try ande next week.”


    “It is important honey. W-we, your Father and I, we have been holding this for some time now and feel tomorrow is the right time to tell you about this. How about you take an excuse from your boss? Also, the topic at hand isn’t one to be discussed over the phone,” her mother said. “It will be better if you were here.”N?vel(D)rama.Org''s content.


    “Fine, I’ll try to be there Mom.”


    “Thank you, we will be waiting.” She had wanted to question the tone in her mum’s words, she sounded a bit worried, scared almost. She ended the call before ir could ask what it was.


    She chose not to worry herself and instead went back to sleep. If something was wrong, she would find out when she went to see them tomorrow. She was just about toy her head back on her pillows and sleep when she heard Samantha’s voice announcing her arrival. “ir, I’m home!”


    “Urrgh,” ir groaned. Honestly she was d Samantha was home, she felt morefortable when Samantha was in the apartment with her, but now she wanted to sleep and she didn’t need Samantha around. She closed her eyes, hoping Samantha would respect that she was asleep and let her be-but humans don’t always get what they want.


    “You can’t be like this forever ir.” Samantha sighed as she walked into the room. “Your room is a mess ir, when was thest time you even clean this ce?” Like Samantha had said, ir’s room was a mess. She wasn’t exactly the most tidy one while she was still in a rtionship with Richard, butpared to before, it was a state of grace to grass. “I’ll have to clean it myself then.” Samantha sighed as she bent to pick ir’s bra which she had just stepped on. “Why is your bra even here?”


    “I want to be alone Samantha.” ir turned toy on her side, bringing the duvet up to her chin, she closed her eyes to rest. “Leave my bra alone,” she muttered sleepily.


    “I know ir, but it’s been over a month now. You need to… I don’t know, be yourself again? I know it hurts, Richard leaving and…” Seeing that ir was not budging to her words, she gave up on trying to speak to her. Taking off her shoes and jackets, she walked over to the bed, getting in under the covers, she pulled her friend close to her. “You’re going to be fine. That asshole, wherever will one day…”


    “Don’t,” she heard ir say. “Not now Samantha please… I don’t want to hear anything concerning him.” Samantha didn’t say another word, pulling ir closer, she began rubbing her back gently.


    “I’m sorry,” Samantha said softly. ir wanted to let Samantha know she wasn’t angry with her, but she was too tired to move or even speak, so she instead rxed to the gentle rubs on her back and slept.


    ~~


    ir’s family house was over a hundred years old. It had belonged to her mother’s great grand parents and had been left to her by her grandmother in her will. ir remembered the first day her Father had driven them to the house to have a look, ir remembered protesting that she wasn’t going to stay a night in the house. Before her Father had done a little renovation, ir had said the house was a haunted one. The only reason she had said this was because, back in their former house she got to share a room with her elder sister, Anne. But here, there were enough rooms for everyone, ir feared the dark back then and dreaded the fact that she wouldn’t share a room with her sister again.


    The house stood at great heights, standing proudly, with the trees around, which stood at both sides like evesting guardians to the building,bined with the peaceful atmosphere. It gave a very warm and inviting look to anyone who woulde visiting.


    “Good day Sinir,” ir greeted the butler, who approached her as she stepped down from her car. Sinir had been working for her great grand mother before she passed away, when she passed, he had been the one taking care of the house, and when the moved, he offered to stay behind and ir’s Father had hired him. “How have you been?” She asked with a kind smile.


    “I’ve been well ir. You know I didn’t think I would see you again so soon after yourst visit.”


    ir smiled. “Mum called, she wanted me toe home. Apparently, it’s for something really important.” Sinir nodded, taking ir’s bag which she thanked him for. He followed behind her as they both walked to the house. “Mum, I’m here!” She announced as she stepped into the house. She turned to Sinir. “Is she in?”


    “Yes.” He nodded. “She is in her office.” ir nodded, the turned to walk away, jugging up the stairs, ir headed to her mother’s office, which was located at the top floor. There was a tall tree just behind the house, closest to her mother’s office. That was formerly ir’s yroom, but when ir had moved out, her mother turned the ce to her office. She said she loved listening to the chirps of the birds which had nested their and rustle of the leaves while she typed.


    ir pushed the door open slowly, peeking her head in. Just as Sinir had told her, her mother was behind her desk, typing away quickly. She noticed the presence in the room, her head quickly snapped up to see ir.


    “ir!” She sounded surprised. “You scared me.” ir and Jane bared simr looks, while ir had her Father’s baby blue eyes, everything else was from her mother. They had the same small, but pointed nose, which would always scrunch up whenever they were confused or deep in thought. The same cat eye shape, which ir’s Father would sometimes joke and refer to as the eyes of the Chinese, ir never understood why he said that, she had met many people from China and most of them didn’t have eyes shaped like that. Their smiles were one of their most brightest features, ir remembered being told several times of how beautiful her smile was and she should smile more often when she was little by the olderdies who would sometimese visiting.


    “Hey, how have you been?” ir inquiredying a kiss on her mother’s cheeks. “I see you’re busy.” She nced at the screen before her mother before walking to take a sit on the avable couch which was at a corner of the room. ir smiled at the little change she noticed in her mother’s office. She had gotten rid of the portrait of some woman dressed like she was from the eighteenth century. Her mother was the type who would sometimes buy something and then regret it hourster. The eyes of the woman, her mother said, was haunting. It was now reced with a crown of flowers, which she hung from a nail.


    “I’ve been okay, fine and no, I’m not really busy at the moment, just finishing up here. Uh… how was your journey? Hope it was well.”


    ir shrugged. “It was okay. So uh… I hope there is no problem. Over the phone you refused to tell me the problem and you said it’s urgent.”


    “Yeah.” Her mother looked away nervously. “ir, you just came back. You should go take a shower, rest, then grab something to eat. When your father returns back from work, we’ll discuss it together.”


    ir frowned. “Nothing has happened right? You are starting to scare me with the way your speaking. Did anything happen to Dad? He is not sick again right?” He had just had a surgery months ago to get rid of the appendix, and had then gotten sick with mria, just a week after that.


    “Nothing happened to your Father ir, he is fine. Just go take your bath, you look really tired. When your Father is back and ready, we’ll let you know when we need to speak to you.”


    “Okay, if you say so.” Giving her onest hug, ir walked out of the office. She didn’t know how her mother expected her to be calm, take a bath and go to sleep, she couldn’t do anything but worry at the moment. Though she was used to conversing with her parents, the only time they had both called her for something really important was during high school when her principal had contacted her parents concerning ir’s performance at school, and when she had gotten her first boyfriend.


    She went upstairs to her room. ir’s childhood bedroom, would always bring her nostalgia whenever she stepped her feet in it. Not one single thing had changed from the time she moved here and it still held the most precious things that made up childhood. Her favourite stuffed animal Miss Woodsy with one leg, which had only been Miss Woodsy before ir had cut it off one time when she was really angry. The ceilings was painted with the universe, which lit up at night when ir slept, it also served as a night light. ir was really happy that her Dad set it up, since she was the afraid of the dark. The thing she lost the most about her childhood room was because it was her Haven. Her safe ce where the troubles of the outside world couldn’t get to her.


    She smiled, making sure her door was locked, she began stripping, taking off her clothes slowly. Though she was still worried, she couldn’t deny that she wasn’t tired, her bones were weak and her eyes heavy. But she didn’t have the strength to stand for a shower and she knew if she decided to take a bath, she would spend hours in the tub because she was toozy to get up.


    She got under her covers, d in only her underwear. Taking her phone, she plugged in the earpiece to the portal. For a month now, ir has found it really hard to sleep, she hated taking pills because it made her feel like her body had a problem, so she turned to asmr. There was something about it, the soothing voice and satisfying, nonthreatening sound that helped her lot in putting her straight to sleep, it brought her piece of mind and clears her mind away from any distraction.


    When she woke up hourster, the first thing her eyesnded on was the clock on the wall facing her, nightfall had arrived now, and the night light was the only source of light in the room, she suspected her mother had been the one to out this for her. A knock came from the door. She sniffed, trying to sit up, only to fall back on her bed. “Who is it?” She asked, her voiceced with sleep.


    “It’s me ir,” It was Anita, the help. Since her mother had gotten back with her writing, Anita was hired to help with little choice around the house, she was also Sinir’s cousin. “Your parents are waiting for you downstairs. Your mother said I shoulde get you, they are waiting for you in the living room.”


    ir sat up quickly, granting at the head rush. “Thank you. Let them know I’ll be down soon, I just need to put some clothes on.”


    “Okay, I’ll tell them that,” Anita said, following that where her retreating steps.


    ir got up and headed to her wardrobe to put on decent clothes, while back at home she wasfortable in walking round the house in her underwear, she couldn’t do that here. Once she was decent, she headed downstairs to meet her parents. Her Father was home now, he sat on the two sitter chair in the living room, while her mother sat beside him.


    “Hey Dad,” she said walking into the room. She copsed on the couch closest to them, sitting in a way that she would be facing them.


    “Hey, how are you doing?” He asked.


    “I’m fine.” She nodded. “So… Uh, is something going on?” She gave a dryugh. “You don’t have cancer right? Please let it not be cancer.”


    He gave a small smile shaking his head.”No, no ir, I don’t have cancer and don’t worry, no one is sick, or dying, nothing like that,” he assured her.