ArielleN?velD(ram)a.?rg owns this content.


    Arabe tells me all about what happened while I was missing. She tells me how Antonio tortured Luca in their penthouse kitchen and how she could hear the screams. She is also the one who called for Ro under Antonio’s orders and she even tell me how Antonio warned her about him being dead. She needs to take me back to Chicago. He was sure of being shoot, no this can’t happen Antonio must have another n. He can’t be dead! He need toe back.


    The entire flight my mind is wandering. I want to listen to her but I can’t when I’m thinking of Antonio and the possibility that he could be dead. I didn’t want to think of it, but it was all my brain would allow. My stomach feels sick at the thought of him not being here anymore and my heart hurts so bad that the pain is nearly physical.


    Tears prick my eyes. Being on a ne is the worst in a situation like this, Ro said he would call if anything changed with Antonio but I won’t get any call because the phone Arabe has on her is forced to be on Airne mode. Not to mention there is no service up in the air.


    The flight from New York to Chicago felt like ten hours instead of the three hours it was. Being on the ground though feels much better. I grab Arabe’s phone and check to see if there are any messages—nothing. I decide to call Ro myself but the line keeps ringing without any answer.


    That’s got to be good news, right? Isn’t that what they say? No news is good news?


    I have to stay optimistic because if I don’t, I’m liable to lose my entire mind.


    Carmelo takes us back to the penthouse and I’ve never been so happy to be home. The happiness is short-lived when I begin to think that Antonio may nevere home. He might be dead because he was sure of being killed. How would I live alone?


    “I’ve missed Chicago,” Arabe inhales deeply and lets her body fall onto the couch. “If my family tries to marry me off to a guy in New York again I’m going to tell said-guy that I have the worst STD possible and an infertile.” Carmelo raises his eyebrow. “I’m kidding of course.” Even though I know she’s only half kidding.


    “Are you okay?” Carmelo asks gently. “You should take a shower and get yourself cleaned up. You’ll feel better.”


    I nce down at my phone and Carmelo takes it from me. “I’ll keep it on me while you shower. If a calles through, I’ll get you right away. I promise.”


    “Thank you,” I give him a weak smile.


    I wander through the house like a lost ghost not really sure what to do. I’m going through the motions of walk-in down to the hall, entering the bedroom then bathroom and turning on the shower, but I don’t feel all there. The warm water is much too hot but I get in anyways and let myself feel the twinge of pain.


    My soul feels like it is floating out of my body, like its looking for something—someone—who is isn’t here. I feel lonely and uncertain and it scares me.


    I sit on the floor of the tub and let the water consume me. My body feels too weak to do anything but stay in the catatonic state I seem to be in. I want to cry but the heaviness of my eyes and exhaustion tell me I don’t have the energy.


    When Arabe enters the bathroom I am both scared and relieved. Relieved it is not Carmelo with possible bad news, but scared that Carmelo told her bad news to tell me.


    “You’ve been in here a while. Arielle? Are you okay?”


    I don’t answer. I want to, but I can’t.


    The door opens and Arabe frowns when she sees me frozen staring at the tile of the shower wall. She turns off the water and grabs one of the white cotton towels from the bathroom closet. She helps me stand and wraps my body in the soft towel drying me down.


    Arabe sits me on the edge of my bed while she pulls out some clothes for me to wear, arge sweatshirt along with sweatpants. She helps me into them when she sees I make no move to put any clothes on. Then, she helps me into bed and pulls the covers over my body.


    “I’ll be right back. I’m going to get you food and then I’ll grab theptop and we can watchM*A*S*Hon Hulu until we fall asleep. I’ll sleep in here tonight so you won’t feel so lonely. Carmelo can sleep in the chair too, if you’d like.”


    I wanted to say that it sounds perfect but my voice and will to talk once again fails me.


    Thank God Arabe understands me because she brings me food, puts on my favorite show andys with me in bed while Carmelo sits in Antonio’s favorite chair. For the first time since I came home, I realized that I could be okay if worstes to worst. I could try and learn to live again if it meant I had people like Arabe and Carmelo at my side. I have a daughter to think of now too, Antonio would want me to care for her in the best way possible. I could raise her away from this life.


    I wrap my arms around Arabe and we hold each other close. My eyelids feel heavy once more and thest thing I see before shutting them for good a shot of B. J. on the screen and with that I fall asleep.


    When I wake up the first thing I do is ask Carmelo if he received any phone callsst night from Ro or even Antonio. Carmelo shakes his head sadly.


    I grab the phone away from him and dial Ro’s number only to get no answer. That can’t be good. It’s been almost an entire day, why hasn’t he gotten in touch with me yet?


    ***


    “They’re busy,” Arabe says from behind me and pulls me out of my thoughts. “New York is in shambles now that Marco and Luca are dead. Antonio is probably recovering right now and Ro is taking care of things and probably exining to them that Angelo is their new Capo.”


    Realization hits. Angelo would be Capo. “They… they won’t ept him. My father and brother have spent many years ridiculing Angelo in the Famiglia. They all find him weak because that’s what they’ve told everyone.”


    “Well, I’m sure Ro is working everything out. I know it’s hard not to worry, but Antonio is stronger than a bullet. He’lle out of this,” she rubs my back in circles.