Chapter 7: 07 - I like your panties. Very sexy.
I entered the house, confident in the knowledge that only Olly was home and she wouldn’t care
whether I looked haggard or not. She would ask but she wouldn’t pry or berate me the way my parents
would. And most importantly, unlike my parents, she’d think having a criminal stalk me was ‘cool’ and
not a reason to end my life. Honestly sometimes, her thought process worried me. A lot.
“Hey,” she called out with her head in the fridge as I locked the door behind me. “I’m hungry. Should we
order?”
“Sounds good,” I replied with a nce in her direction.
I could only imagine what she would do if she was the one being stalked. Knowing her and her
affection for the dark side, it was a good thing I was the one who ran into Masked Idiot. She’d make
him her best friend if she could.
She shut the fridge and turned to me.
“Pizza or burgers?”
“Any.” I shrugged half-heartedly.
“You looked spooked. Drained,” shemented.
My expressionmunicated the ‘so?’ very loudly.
“You good? It’s not like you. You’re always put together. Perfect,” she exined.
“Perfect my foot.” I scoffed and threw in an eye roll for good measure. ‘Perfect’ wouldn’t have an
unwanted stalker on her tail. ‘Perfect’ wouldn’t sort of be an aplice to a criminal.
She frowned, eyeing me suspiciously.
“I’m good though.” I smiled. My facial muscles stifflyplied and while my heart wasn’t in it, it was
enough to fool her. I could win first ce for best fake smile in the world. I perfected my technique a
long time ago. No one could tell the difference between my real and fake smile. Not even me
sometimes.
“Don’t ‘my foot’ me,” she countered.
I could just tell she was rolling her eyes so I rolled mine right back.
“You’re always neat and put together. My sister, the perfect... everything. Even the SATs didn’t spook
you.”
I frowned at ‘perfect everything’ even though arge part of me understood why she said it.
“They aren’t scary. It’s actually designed to help you pass,” I replied, my big sister streak kicking in.
I had passed the SATs with flying colors and I did it effortlessly. The whole point was so Olly knew it
was nothing to be afraid of. Fear and nerves were what threw most people off. I purposely didn’t study
half as much as most of my peers so she would understand it was like any other exam. So when her
turn came, she wouldn’t be gued with nerves. Olly and nerves didn’t work well -probably because
she was so self-confident the other ny percent of the time- and she almost always got nervous
about exams.
She rolled her eyes exaggeratedly.
“Riiiight. Save the speech for someone who doesn’t know you’re a borderline genius.”
The way she drawled the words made it perfectly clear she didn’t believe a word I’d said. My efforts
were lost on her.
“Is this about the debate?” she pressed, eyeing me suspiciously. “Are you going to lose for like the first
time in your life?” She rolled her eyes, reaching for her phone across the table.
“Shut up,” I muttered, wondering just how much was a joke and how much was actual resentment.
She was my sister and I’d do anything for her but that didn’t change the fact that growing up with
someone who was the ‘perfect everything’ had to have been hard. Especially since she was always
gettingpared to me.
I sighed, shaking my head to rid it of the unsavory thoughts. I had bigger problems at the moment -
namely the criminal who was probably sneaking into my room right this instant- and I knew she didn’t
hate me so there was little point going down that road.
“Don’t worry about it. Sure, losing camete in life for you but I’ll coach you through it. It’s the one thing
I’m better than you at.”
Again with the wondering just how much was a joke and how much was actual resentment.
“Zip it. You sing like an angel,” I countered.
Needless to say, my singing skills were less than ster. I couldn’t hold a tune to save my life and to be
honest, I was half convinced I was tone deaf.
“I’m heading up,” I added.
“I’ll let you know when the food gets here.” She threw in a smile, the momentary antagonism more or
less forgotten.
“Okay.”
My skirt came off and sweatpants went on. The button-down shirt was also reced with one of my
favourite sweaters, an oversized beige number. I needed that feeling after the day I’d had. I was
actually beginning to consider doing one of those ‘forgive me if I have ever wronged you’ social media
cleanses because this was more than simply bad karma. Someone definitely had a voodoo doll of me
somewhere and was sticking pins in it and cing new curses every three days.
I was about to finish setting up for a study session when Masked Idiot nimbly climbed in through the
window. For the first time in my life, I found myself grateful for the tree in front of the window that hid
him from view of anyone on the street. My friends had always said I was lucky to have a tree there to
help with sneaking out and whatnot but I wasn’t that kid. If I needed to be outte, I could very well
As long as I was home before midnight and they hadn’t specifically requested that I be home earlier,
they were fine with it. Anyway, most days, I came home straight after work so it gave them less reason
to doubt me. It gave them some sort of sense of safety especially since, given their jobs, they both
knew what kids could get up to. Justst month my mom had to represent a kid for drunk driving and
theft. The theft charges mysteriously disappeared after money changed hands. Lucky for him, his
parents owned a techpany my mom was representing so they could pull such a favor. It was a
paid favor but still. Their son got off with barely even a tap much less p on the wrist for the drunk
driving. Anyway, the point was, seeing as I had never gotten into that kind of trouble, they believed I
knew better so they were a lot more generous with the reins. That and they were hardly home anyway.
“I’m all set up,” I announced, eyeing him contemtively as I tried to decide what he’d do while I
studied.
“Here.” I handed him a spare notepad and a textbook I was done with. “Sit...” I trailed off, realizing I had
only one chair in my room.
I was definitely not going to let him take my chair and study table. It was my reading ce in my room.
Plus, I was under no obligation to be a gracious hostess. I didn’t even want him here in the first ce.
Unconsciously nibbling on my lower lip, my gaze roamed the room. The only other option was my bed
which definitely wasn’t going to happen. Sure, he’d been on it before but that was expressly without my
permission. I wasn’t about to let him at it again.
My gaze zeroed in on the beige rug at the foot of my bed.
“Shoes off,” I ordered, passing him a pair of indoor slippers.
Lucky for him, I liked the really oversized ones. I watched silently as he toed off his shoes, setting them
neatly by the window he snuck in through. I made a mental note to leave a pair of slippers there for him
henceforth.
“Sit. Study,” Imanded, gesturing to the rug. “Most importantly, don’t distract or interrupt me.”
He eyed the books I held out to him warily.
“I’m good, thanks.” He shook his head.
“You’re not in high school?” I frowned, painting a good picture of a confused person. I was fishing for
information primarily but I had pegged him for a high school senior. Granted, he could actually be in
college although he certainly hadn’t disyed cognition worthy of collegiate level.
A beat of silence passed.
“I am.”
I bit back a smile.
He was clearly lying. And not doing a good job of it. I had two things to go on now; his first name and
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that he was done with high school. It was only matter of time before I found out exactly who he was.
“So you’re not a senior?” I pressed, my confused frown still in ce. I really could make it big as an
actress ifw didn’t pan out.
“I’ll write it next year,” he said by way of exnation, pushing the books back toward me.
I stifled the urge to roll my eyes. How was he even a criminal? He could barely lie straight.
ying along, I frowned and cocked my head to the side, shook it and then settled for an even more
confused look. “Exin.”
And the actress of the year award goes to...
“I’m busy. I’ve got a lot on my te at the moment. It’s better to just take my examster when I’ve
wrapped things up,” he managed, stumbling over too many words for even an obtuse seven year old to
believe him. And the worst criminal of the year award goes to...
“Clearly you’re busy.” I cooed, my tone drenched in sarcasm. “I mean, in between stalking an innocent
girl,mitting multiple felonies and exchanging fists for no eptable reason, where will you find the
time?”
He raised his eyes heavenward, choosing sensibly -the first sensible thing he’s done so far- to remain
silent.
“Anyway,” I pushed the books back towards him, testing just how far he’d take his -frankly,
disappointing- lie. I could’ve lied better when I was five. Seriously. “I think you should take the finals
regardless. So you screw up the first time.” I shrugged. “I’m sure you already spoke to your school...?”
I let the sentence hang, hoping he’d jump in and supply the name of said school. It could easily lead
me to his real identity. He might not still be schooling there but chances were that he did at some point.
All I needed to do was to get my hands on their yearbooks for thest few years.
Unfortunately, he didn’t conveniently jump in with the name so I continued, “This school must know
about your... extenuating circumstances. They probably wouldn’t mind seeing as they’re willing to put it
off at all.” I couldn’t mask the heavy sarcasm dripping from my tone as I added that.
No high school I knew of was that lenient, especially not with a senior. Definitely not enough to let them
take time off. That was more a college thing. Was he perhaps going to themunity college?
“Taking it twice improves your chances.” I smoothed my face into an amiable smile.
Seriously, ifw didn’t work out, I could have great career in the acting business.
“You already think you’re going to fail. It’s not like anyone is going to penalize you for it so why not just
fail and at least get an insight on how to do better next time rather than not take it and get nothing at
all.” I pressed the books into his chest in a very ‘this is for you own good’ manner.
He frowned.
I didn’t need a mind reader to know that line of thought had never urred to him. He might be an
actual criminal but I was more of a criminal mastermind than he was.
“Besides,” I continued, “even if you don’t take it, it’s never too early to begin studying.”
It was too early. Way too early. I personally would never do it but he didn’t know that. And unlike him, I
was kind of a genius so I could cover much in a short amount of time. Studying was more a habit
cultivated to please my mom than a necessity.
He eyed me suspiciously as though he wasn’t quite sure how to react to my act of ‘kindness.’ It was
time to end this. I clearly wasn’t going to get any more information going down this path.
“I have to be honest here, I highly doubt you’re smart enough to get it right on one try. No offense.” I
added thest part reflexively, then frowned as I thought it over.
I normally didn’t say my meaner thoughts out loud because, more often than not, people couldn’t
handle them and it was ‘impolite’. My parents would not have approved. Whenever it managed to
escape though, I always pinned on a ‘no offense’ to keep things clean. This was Masked Idiot,
however. Apletely different case. Our situation was not normal so I was under no obligation to
follow normal societal rules. I could just be the unfiltered me without having to apologize for it. I didn’t
have to be nice to him like everyone else. He wasn’t in anyway connected to my parents nor was he a
friends or ssmate whose fragile emotion I had to be considerate of.
“Actually, you can take offense if you please. I don’t care.” I shrugged.
He clenched his fists, anger rolling off him in waves. The grateful but suspicious half frown was gone
from his face.
Through a tightly clenched jaw, he bit out, “I am not stupid.”
“Well,” I hedged, tilting my head, “that’s seriously debatable and a lot in the opposing teams favor. I
haven’t seen you do one remotely intelligent thing since we met so... Forgive me if I’m a little skeptical.”
If looks could kill, I’d have been shot, buried, exhumed and then shot again for good measure.
“Or don’t.” I turned away and made myselffortable at the study table. “Sit and start studying,” I
ordered over my shoulder.
I heard him take a deep breath and mutter “not worth it” before taking position on the floor. I shrugged
and flipped my book open, losing myself in studying.
I resurfaced twice. The first time was to get food which I generously shared with him since he was
studying or at least doing a good job of pretending to. The creases on his forehead made it look like he
was actually stumped by the material and I wasn’t unkind enough to let someone study on an empty
stomach. The second time was for a bathroom break.
After the food arrived, Masked Idiot closed his books and spent the ensuing forty-five minutes on his
phone. After he got bored of that, and probably because he felt a guilty being unproductive while I
studied, he reluctantly went back to it, staring longingly out the window every few minutes. It was a little
past dusk when he finally gave up all pretense of studying.
“It’s been hours. Aren’t you done yet? Sheesh,” he grunted.
I smiled reluctantly, scanning thest few sentences in the chapter before calling it a day. I’d never
admit it out loud but I was mildly impressed he managed to stay quiet and at least try to study.
I heard more than saw him rise to his feet. He walked over to my set of drawers and randomly pulled
open the second one. I flew off the chair before my brain fully registered what was going on -in my
haste, I tipped the chair over- and hurried to him, mming the drawer shut. Unfortunately, I was too
before I even saw evidence of it is his hand.
“Nice underwear,” he drawled. “Great taste.”
An emerald coloredce panty hung from his index finger like a g. The smirk on his face made me
want to be erased from existence. Cue instant embarrassment and a deep flush that my dark colouring
-thank God- hid. I immediately reached for my unmentionable but he moved faster, holding it out of my
reach.
“Now, this is interesting.” His smirk widened. “A boring straight ‘A’ student with a drawer full of pretty
interesting underwear. Very sexy. I approve.”
I could die. If it was possible, in that moment, I would. There was nothing more embarrassing than a
not entirely ugly criminal within your age bracket having your raunchy panty in his hand. Trust me on
this one.
“I said straight A, not boring,” I corrected through cotton mouth and I desperately grabbed for my item
of clothing. Damn it, give it back!
“Oh, it’s nothing to get your panties in a twist over,” he practically sang. To illustrate his point, he twisted
my you-know-what in the air. Okay, kill me now. Right at this moment.
I jumped to no avail. Damn him and his excessive height. Some of us hadn’t been fed steroids since
puberty.
“Give it back, now,” I hissed, making another grab for it. Sess! I caught one end of it and had to tug-
of-war for it.
I was wrong before. This was infinitely more embarrassing than him twirling it in the air. Why did he
even open the second one? Why not the first like a normal person?
“Let go,” I snarled.
“Let me in your dirty little secret. I won’t tell.” He wore a wicked grin. “Who do you wear these for?”
Whoever you are with that voodoo doll, now would be a good time to yank the head off. Just kill me.
“Whatever you’re thinking, it’s not that.” I coloured fiercely. Enough that even my dark skin couldn’t hide
it. “I just like them.”
I wasn’t lying. I really just liked them. Most girls my age wore them. I did too. It was just embarrassing
for someone, especially one of the opposite sex, to see.
In our struggle for my you-know-what, we ended up ripping it. At which point, he awarded me a sly
leery smile.
“Don’t say a word.” I hissed, snatching both pieces of it to dispose ofter.
I tried not to let the loss reflect on my face. Those things weren’t exactly cheap. I distracted myself with
thought on how to dispose of it. Thest thing I needed was for my mom or dad to see the ripped
panties. Heaven knew they’d never believe it didn’t involve sex which I explicitly wasn’t supposed to be
having yet. Not that the real story was any better. Oh, it got torn when I was ying tug-of-war with a
criminal I let into the house. Any further questions? Yeah, that was not going to fly.
My expression after I returned from hiding the pieces in the bathroom must have warned Masked Idiot I
wasn’t in the mood because he wisely sobered up and kept the rest of his innuendos to himself.
“Olly, that’s my sister, is on cooking duty today so for now, I’m free. My mom should be home soon
though so you might want to be leaving.”
He shook his head stubbornly.
“Fine,” I acquiesced.
It was a shot in the dark anyway. I hadn’t expected him to skip out now after putting up with all my
hours of study time. He was determined, if nothing else. I knew I could manipte him into leaving with
the ripped panty incident but that would involve actually mentioning the incident. No. Nope. Never. I’d
much rather pretend it never happened. I’d carry it to my grave. Or at least to a drunk college party
where no one would remember a thing the next morning.
I would have to put up with him till he was ready to leave.
“Normally, I read a novel or...” I trailed off, eyes darting to myptop as I debated whether to reveal that
nugget of information.
He wasn’t in my social circle. It was unlikely that it woulde back to bite me but with the way my
luck was runningtely, it wasn’t entirely improbable that it would so I shouldn’t be taking such a
chance. I worried my lower lip, eyeing him up as I contemted my options. I had a match scheduled.
One I really didn’t want to miss. And he didn’t look like he had any intentions of leaving soon. Not to
mention, he had already seen the flickered nce at myptop.
I sighed wearily.
I had to tell him otherwise he’d think I was municating with someone about his secret.’ I could feel
it already in the way he was looking at me. Honestly, the idiot thought everyone was in some way
interested in his identity. If he was a bigwig celebrity I might see why but he was just a stupid idiot who
yed dress-up on days that weren’t Halloween. Or Comic Con. Only pre-pubescentic geeks did
that for heaven’s sake.
“What?” His gaze hardened as he nced meaningfully at theptop.
I sighed again.
I was right. He clearly thought I almost slipped up about some shady business involving him. He
couldn’t be any more self-involved if he tried.
“You have to promise not to tell anyone.” I bit my lip.
“If it has nothing to do with me, then I won’t be telling anyone because I won’t care.”
“You’d better not. Otherwise, I’ll tell my dad, you know, the sheriff, about your little illegal fight club.” My
eyes televised that I wasn’t bluffing.
He bared his teeth in a menacing snarl.
“Don’t you dare,” I hissed. “Or I’ll pull your teeth out and boil it.”
I was amodating him enough already. I wasn’t going to let him pull threats on me. I had been
more than generous already by letting him follow me around. I didn’t have much of a choice but still,
very generous.
My creative threat caused a frown to mar his features.
“What?” He shook his head.
“Your teeth,” I said slowly, pointing at mine the way one would when exining something to a child.
“Yank it out. I have pliers for that.” I made a yanking motion. “Then boil it. Soup.” I stirred an imaginary
pot.
Granted, it was an odd threat but it couldn’t be that hard to understand. His eyes narrowed as he tilted
his head to the side, trying to figure out whether or not I was joking.
I shed him my creepy ‘possessed doll’ smile before turning away. I set up myptop on the study
table and sat back down. After a beat, he sidled up to me, watching greedily over my shoulder like
someone about to discover a juicy secret which he was because even Olly didn’t know about this and
she knew me better than anyone else on the. She still believed all my money came from my
multiple jobs and the asional mized academicpetitions.
I booted up theptop, opened a hidden folder and double clicked on the icon in it. The screen went
dark for a few seconds before being taken over by the opening image of a PC game.
“What’s this?” He frowned.
“A game.” He really wasn’t the brightest bulb in box. “You can’t tell anyone I y.”
“Your big secret...,” he frowned, suspicion coating his tone, “is a game?”
I did my best to ignore the stab of embarrassment that stemmed from his remark.
“In case you hadn’t noticed, I’m an honors student. A ck honors student from a primarily academic
oriented family. It may be a stereotype but it doesn’t make it any less true. My parents would be
mortified if they ever found out I yed these games. Especially given how good I am,” I lectured,
wondering detachedly why I felt the need to do so.
I took out my earphones, plugged them in and logged into the virtual world where I was scheduled to
battle the Crone of the Underworld with a virtual friend.
“I know this game!” he eximed, leaning in to get a better look. “Hang on, you’re... Are you...”
Wide, surprised eyes swung to me.
“How are you that high up in levels?” he inquired, astonishment coating his tone.
“I’m good at everything I do.” I smirked, unable to help myself.
Since I took painstaking efforts to hide it, I’d never received apliment on my gaming skills from a
person I actually knew. The ones I usually got where from virtual acquaintances I had battled with or
sold my ounts to so I wasn’t immune or desensitized to it yet. Now that I finally got one, I couldn’t
not revel in it.
“So humble,” he drawled.
My lips stretched into azy grin.
“You bet, Underwear Thief.”