Interlude The Pets of Innworld
(<strong>The Wandering Inn is on break! The author (me), is also going on my first vacation intwo years? At least a year! Well be back on July 13<sup>th</sup>, 2024 for Patreons! See you then!)</strong>
So they left their homes, each one for a different reason.
Different species, united by amon cause.
To war, battle, perhaps certain death.
Because it <em>mattered</em>.
Because it was right.
They might die within the first hour, the first day, or month. They might eventually go back home; either way, their stories would only rarely be known, perhaps never told.
That glorious armyarmies representing the world disembarked from their homes. When they arrivedthey did so piecemeal, or in vast fleets. The brave, the reluctantit mattered not.
They came to the Blighted Kingdom, the continent of Rhir, the most deadlynd in the world to hold the Demons to justice.
Drakes, Gnolls, Duhans, Lizardfolk, Humans, Stitchfolk, Centaurs, Selphids and moreevery species you could imagine. They were bound by ancient pacts, and galvanized by the atrocities of the Demons ritual.
Every major power had sent far more [Soldiers] and materiel than normal. The desultory contributions that sometimes led to piecemeal armies had ended.
<em>Here came entire navies.</em> Escorting ships filled with troops. Hundreds of [Knights], sworn to avenge loved ones. Even minor nobility.
It was the first wave, the outraged response against the Demons. It could not havee sooner, for the Blighted Kingdom. After all
<em>The Deathless wereing back.</em> As they always did. The greatest leaders of the Demon Kings armies.
The Death of Magic, Silvenia, had shown her face atst. She alone provoked nightmares among the top [Strategists] of the Blighted Kingdom. A [Mage] without equal, who had practically destroyed 5<sup>th</sup> Wall by herself. Holding her back if the Demons made incursions would be a task worthy of legends.
<em>Archmage Zelkyr </em>and<em> the Necromancer of Terandria had both failed to defeat the Demon Kings Deathless.</em> Here were real legends of centuries past, still threatening Rhir. Perhapsresponsible for the tragedy that had struck at the world.
It was also a concern, because for all the nations of the world were sending reinforcementsno one wanted to send their national treasure or greatest [General], especially if they were fighting wars at home.
Especially if the Deathless would tear them apart. It was a prescient thought in the normally stolid Drakes of thebined Walled Cities, a joint task-force sailing with Zeresian escort. They had put aside their differences to guarantee safe transit to Rhir.
The journey had been long, tiring; they couldnt skip across powerful currents and they were mundane ships, not crewed by famous [Captains] with Skills or magic. The Drake [Soldiers], renowned for their quality training and formations, were restless. They were ready to take the fight to these damn Demons, but the Deathless
How can we fight something like that, [Charge Commander]?
One of the Drakes asked the Gnoll [Commander] from Manus. The Gnoll grunted, casting eyes at the one [General]a Fissival [Magic General]sourly. He stood with his group; Manus. <em>Not a lot of Gnolls, here.</em> Oteslia of course, and a handful from Zeres; he hoped hed find more of his people from the tribes to mingle with.
Some of the Drakes from the smaller cities whod joined the tithe to the Blighted Kingdomwhich was referred to as Defenders of the Blighted Kingdom for obvious symbolic reasonshad never fought side-by-side with Gnolls. There had been a few brisk fights onboard while the cooped-up reinforcements stewed.
He answered out of the corner of his mouth.
<em>We</em> dont fight that, [Infantryman]. We hold the line.
With hells fire raining down on our heads?
One of the others called out. The Gnoll snapped back.
<em>Drakes dont run, soldier! </em>
<em>Nor do Gnolls from Manus!</em>
Someone from hismand shouted back. There was mixedughter. The [Charge Commander] grinned, but suppressed his nerves in his tail and kept his face calm.
Weve got [Mages] too. No one person can fight an army. We take out the Demons on the ground; leave the high-level targets to <em>our</em> best. Id like to see the Death of Magic take on an army alone! And keep a lid on questions like that; were going to show these Blighted Kingdom [Soldiers] what <em>real</em> discipline looks like.
The Drakes nodded, even the ones from other cities. That, they could get behind. It was something, but in this moment, even the Drakes and Gnolls felt a kinship towards the soldiers from the Five Families; theyd been sailing close by, and insult had turned to banter.
If Drakes or Gnolls, or one species couldnt be <em>the best</em>, well, theyd damn well have some <em>Izrilian</em> pride, eh?
The [Charge Commander] smiled as he heard the other Drakes start talking about sloppy formations of other nations. He hoped no one would start singing national anthems; that always provoked jeers and a fight.
Privately, though, he rephrased his statement to the [Soldiers]. Hed said what hed said to keep morale up, buthed heard that the Death of Magic <em>could</em> solo an army. After all, if she could cast area-of-attack spells from oh, ten miles straight <em>up</em> in the air, what was he supposed to do? An army? He couldnt even shout at her and hurt her feelings!
Well, the [Charge Commander] had to have <em>faith</em> Rhir knew what it was doing. They were nearly there.
-
The first sight of the Blighted Kingdom was not what most non-Rhirians expected. When you imagined embattled Rhir, the name of the <em>Blighted</em> Kingdom, you tended to expect a lot of grey, militarized zones,nd torn by spells and damage. Perhaps dead bodies lying out to rot.
There was all that, of course, although the dead were properly-disposed of, or used by the [Necromancers], but the first sight of Rhirs capital, Paranfer, and the coast, was, wellstartling.
Hey. Thats nicer than <em>home!</em>
One of the Drakes called out, staring at the terraformed farnd, the verdant greeneryand the rather <em>impressive</em> coastal defense fortresses scattered at regr intervals.
Paranfer itself was as impressive as any great city in the world; arguably richer andrger than even First Landing. It was a match for the Walled Cities.
Why not? The Blighted Kingdom received funds from almost every nation in the world along with [Soldiers]sometimes in ce of soldiers. It had magic, resourcesand Paranfery behind 1<sup>st</sup> Wall.
Few Demons had ever seen past 1<sup>st</sup> Wall. Even the Antinium had not tried to storm it.
Paranfer was gorgeous, and thends around it were given over to agriculture, which always looked pretty from afar. Rhir did not, actually, specialize in much mining, textilesin a broad senseor the varied national outputs of other countries.
It had amazing [Smiths], [Mages], and <em>[Craftspeople], </em>but it imported a wealth of goods. What Rhir did focus on was food; you could import swords and repurpose des, even ones used by Demons. But a starving army died even if it was covered in adamantium.
As the ships came into harbor, they were also greeted by parades, magical lights off the coast,unched by the guard towers. They were by way of being bothmunications <em>and</em> greeting.
Never let it be said that Othius IV, the Blighted King, was a foolish ruler when it came to statecraft. He knew how to make his visitors feel honored. Within the next few days, as the transports were speedily unloaded, cargo efficiently catalogued and stored, there would be further celebrations, honoring each nation and species.
<em>However,</em> the key issueying before General Vors of Fissival was this: he didnt know how he was going to handle a Human ordering him about. Let alone his people serving with, well, non-Drakes.
Other Drakes were bad enough. There had been fights onboard. The [Magic General], recently graduated from Fissivals small martial academy, knew all the long grudges between Walled Cities. There was a saying about Drakes fighting over dust at the end of the worldwell, that was nothingpared to Humans, Gnolls, <em>and</em> Drakes in the same room.
Hed seen the Tribes had sent countless warriors of their own. They were upying some of Zeres ships and Rhirs sent to transport them. The Tribes didnt even <em>have</em> a fleet of their own, by andrge.
Vors didnt think he wasprejudiced. He could certainly envision taking orders if they were the right ones, but would he get amander who didnt understand Drake tactics? Who didnt value Fissivals unique focus on magic and physicalbat? Hed fought Gnolls of course, and other cities, and wondered if theyd hold a grudge or make assumptions.
The [Magic General] shifted. Hed been ushered off the ship with a tremendous amount of ceremony, which he appreciated. But while his [Soldiers] had been settled in with a kind of efficiency even the Manus-led ones admired, hed been called here.
To a rather small, <em>cramped </em>room in some kind of military outpost, to talk to Rhirs High Command.
Amazing.
Vors nced around the room, noting how in it was. Chipped walls? <em>There was a bowl of nuts on the table and he swore hed seen something moving in it.</em>
It just goes to show. All that glitter on the outside and they cant even design a roomrge enough to swing your tail about in. Unless this isrge for them?
<em>Dead gods, that would be a nightmare. What would his personal quarters look like?</em> Alsowas he expected to sit and smile with some Gnoll [Chieftain] or [Tribal Warrior]? Vors shudderedthen reminded himself hed <em>volunteered </em>for this. His poor brotherand he was themander of this Drake force!
He could work with a Gnoll. Hadnt he thought it was a shame about them being butchered on Chandrar? Even if they were unpredictable and their tribes sometimes looted settlements?
Well. Vors had been waiting for nearly ten minutes, and he was losing his goodwill towards the hospitality of the Blighted King. <em>None</em> of the chairs werefortableor sized for people with tails!
Damn Humans. I thought they got Drakes regrly.
The floor was a bit dirty and if he had to wait another ten minutes, he was going to find the High Command andin. Orin to the Walled Cities about how their reinforcements were being treated. Was this what his predecessors from Fissival had had to face?
Poor bastards.
Vors murmured. Hed heard the [Charge Commander] talking and <em>he</em> knew theyd run straight into the Death of Magic on 5<sup>th</sup> Wall. He shuddered. Sat there, determined to make a first good impression.
Vors waited for twelve more minutes, and then lost his temper. He stood up.
Excuse me! Has there been some kind of mistake?
He opened the door, calling into the corridor for one of the aides whod brought him here with no exnation. He foundno one.
The hallway was as shabby as this one. Vors stepped out into it.
Hello?
<em>Where were the orderlies? The [Tacticians]? Someone to run messages?</em> Was someone ying a prank on him? He walked out, wondering if this was, in fact, some kind of Demon-attack. No. Not in Paranfer. Stillhe edged out a bit further, casting a cantrip to locate others.
To Vors surprise, he felt the spell bounce right back with a contact and then someone probe <em>him.</em> Vors whirled, and a door opened.
Strange. Is this some kind of test?
A door right next to Vors opened anda <em>Lamia</em> slithered out. Vors instantly recoiled, and saw the Lamia, with decorated armor over her scales, do likewise, but in surprise.
She was wearing armor over orange-and-green scales, a very colorful mix, unlike that of Drakes, who were monochrome by andrge. The Lamia had some kind of intricate paint insignia on her side, and her serpentine body ran down to a tail; no legs. She was a Lamia.
<em>Lizardfolk.</em> Vors jaw instantly clenched. Hed known hed have to serve alongside <em>them</em>, but of all the coincidences!
Greetings, Miss. General Vors of Fissival. Are you in charge here? Do you know where the High Command is?
She eyed Vors and lowered the object shed been holding. A staff with shards of ss embedded at the top; clearly magical.
Not at all. I am [Battlemage]-[Commander] Tusxe of the Roving Fireballpany, contracted to fight for Rhir for the duration of the war. Yourefrom Izril?
Fissival. The Walled City of Magic? Greetings.
Vors crossed his arms, unwilling to shake the hand of one of the Drakes enemies. An old one, true, but the wars theyd fought
To his surprise, the Lamia just nodded coolly.
A <em>pleasure.</em> Youve just arrived? I did as well. Do you know where the leadership is?
I was just asking. Ive been waiting for twenty minutes. Well, do excuse me. Im off to see why this ce is so empty.
<em>Really.</em>
Her tone made Vors draw up. He turned back to the Lamia and saw her raise both brows.
Something the matter, Miss?
Thats Battlemage Commander, <em>General.</em> Im just impressed you waited twenty minutes. Thats the famous Drake impatience for you, I suppose.
The Drakes brows crossed instantly.
I suppose youve been waiting longer?
Nearly an hour.
<em>An hour? </em>And you just <em>stayed</em> here?
He was incredulous. Tusxe frowned at him.
I hardly twiddled my thumb-ws, thank you. I was practicing magic until your spell bounced off my wards. You need to put yours up, incidentally. And why shouldnt I wait?
The [Magic General] blushed at the omission, but he was irritated and growing more so.
I came here to fight for Rhir against the Demons and represent Izril. My time is not to be wasted lightly, <em>Battlemage Commander.</em>
She smiled thinly.
And I suppose your time is far more valuable than Rhirs High Commands? We <em>are</em> outsiders, General Vors. If they have a reason to make us wait, I am willing to wait rather than disrupt their chain ofmand. It might be theres a crisis.
All the more reason to know about it.
Why? So you can lead your army through an unfamiliar city and not know whos fighting who, what they look like, and withoutmunicating your intent? Youve never fought in unfamiliar territory, have you?
He had not, being familiar with most of the battlegrounds Fissival chose. The Drake turned red right under his scales. The two red at each other; well, Tusxe had a slight smirk on her face.
Vors was just about to saysomethingthat he didnt want to be lectured by a mere <em>[Mercenary],</em> that he didnt have to stand for thising from her, something about their peoples not getting alongwhen the door opened.
I say, is it my turn to meet with the [General] of this ce? Ive been waiting for quite some time, you know. Not that its inconveniencing or anything
The Lamia and Drake both turned around and saw a man peering out of his room. He stared at the two non-Humans in clear rm.
Are <em>you</em> my, ah, liaisons?
Vors looked at the [Lord] in histe thirties.
Whoare you?
Lord Solvet. The Kingdom of Avel. How do you do? Ersir?
The man looked as bewildered as Vors feltthe difference was that he showed it. He was garbed in <em>dress clothes</em> of all things, not armor like Vors enchanted cloth, or Tusxes metal. He looked incredibly confused as he came out of his room.
You wouldnt happen to know when Im meeting with General Idecan, do you? I was scheduled for a meeting two hours ago, but
<em>Two hours?</em>
The twomanders chorused in horror. Vors instantly turned to the man.
Why didnt you ask what the dy was?
Wellthat would hardly be fitting. I <em>am</em> representing nearly six nations, and I am quite aware of Rhirs statusit was also a long journey, so I confess to having nodded off.
The [Lord] of Avel was embarrassed, but to Vors surprise, stuck out a hand as he bowed slightly.
How do you do? I apologize, sir. I havent asked your name.
ErGeneral Vors of Fissival. Exceptionally pleased.
Solvet blinked at Vors wed hand and hesitated, nearly withdrawing his hand.<em> He was wary of Vors ws.</em> The [General] was amused and shook the mans hand without scratching him. Tusxe did likewise.
A pleasure. It looks like were all sitting around. Do you think theyll mind if we talk out here?
It certainly beats my room. Itscramped.
Vors nced around, unsure how much to say if someone walked in on them. Solvet hesitated before nodding.
It acked for certain refreshments. I suppose Rhir pours its budget into the defense of the nation<emmendable!</em> I might suggest to his Majestyof Avelthat we add a bit more to our contributions, however. My room was, ah, slightly stuffy.
Tusxe nced from man to man, and snorted.
My room was a craphole; Ive had better stays in inns in a vige in the middle of the jungle. I could swear there was something <em>moving</em> in my bowl.
You too?
The two chorused before they could help themselves. Vors and Solvet exchanged nces.
Hang on. Would you mind if we looked inside your room?
He turned to the Lamia. She shrugged.
Its not like Ive got anything in there. Come on.
She opened the door and the two followed her. Solvet and Vors found exact copies of their room, down to the bowl of nuts.
<em>There it is again!</em> What is
Solvet recoiled in horror as a <em>beetle</em> scurried out of the bowl. Tusxe made a noise of disgustVors lost his temper.
Thats it. Im finding whoever put us in here. If this is some kind of a joke<em>this</em> is what theyre serving to the High Command of our nations? What are they feeding the soldiers?
Isnt that uhdifferentfor your species? Could that be construed as a snack?
Solvet suggested timidly. Vors stopped, halfway out the door. He turned back and Tusxe and he exchanged an incredulous look and stared at the Human. Tusxe spoke first.
Excuse me, <em>Lord Solvet. </em>Do you happen to eat bugs?
Me? No, no. I just
Well, <em>I dont either!</em> Get a Selphid for that. Who eats bugs?
Vors had to admit, hed heard that Lizardfolk might eat bugsfrom some rumor, but Tusxe and he being put into the scaled people eat bugs category was offensive enough. Solvet raised his hands, trying to apologize.
Im sorry! I just assumedI wouldnt have <em>dreamed</em> Rhir would have an infested bowl of foodstuffs! And there <em>are</em> bug-eaters in Terandria. Half-Elves, you know.
<em>Half-Elves?</em> Really?
The Drake was agog, and actually had to stop again. Solvet nodded. Tusxe was just as surprised.
Really? But you think of half-Elves as thesemysticalheirs to magic! Descendants of Elves! Fabulous cities of craft and marble and such!
In forests, you mean? Is that your image of half-Elves?
The Drake and Lamia nodded. Solvet sighed.
Well, they tend to be <em>connected</em> with the forests. Deeply. City-dwelling half-Elves are one thing, but I have seen them lick moss off boulders in the viges.
Thats
Vors couldnt suppress the <em>cough</em> of amusement. Tusxe grinned. It was right then when he heard a curious sound.
<em>Something was in the hallway.</em> He turned, hearing the slight sound. Solvet nced up; for all the [Lord] seemed oblivious, hed heard it too, instead of Tusxe, who was asking about worms.
Whats that?
The three went to the door. Now, they all had a feeling <em>something</em> was up, so Vors rxed the de at his side. He saw Tusxe check her staff. Solvet? He had a belt knife and nced at it, dismayed.
You dont suppose there <em>is</em> a crisis, do you? I ah, may have been eavesdroppingIm without weapons.
You dont <em>have</em>what did you think you wereing here for, a dance?
The Lamia cast scornful eyes at him. The man huffed a little; he had a slight wavy mustache, Vors realized. The Drake stared at it, having never seen <em>that</em> kind of facial hair around the mostly Gnoll and Drake peoples.
I apologize, Commander Tusxe, but I use a longbow in battle. Its considered <em>slightly</em> indecorous to walk around with a six-and-a-half foot <em>bow</em> when greeting dignitaries.
Really? You use a bow?
I doe from Avel.
The Drake and Lamia had another nk look for the man. The [Lord] was dismayed.
Avel? The Kingdom of Bows? Renowned for their archers?
Never heard of it. Hold onIm sensing something outside.
Vors sent a spell. He saw Tusxe twist her ws and did the same thing. Both frownedthen nced outside.
That <em>cant</em> be right. Is that a
Something went <em>oink</em> outside the door. All three leaders recoiled, then peered outside and founda pig.
It was a small <em>pig</em> roaming the corridor! Well, small for a pig, as Vors had seen some gigantic ones. It was probably four feet long, low to the ground, and had the oddest skin and coloration hed ever seen.
Some of the pig was a rosy pink, even trending towards white on the underbellyno dirt at all. The rest? It had some kind ofgoldisharmor on it. Like scales or te!
What the hell is <em>that?</em>
Tusxe pointed at the pig. Solvets eyes nearly popped out of his head.
My goodness! Is that a Goldke Pig? Whats it doing here? Andjust running about?
A what?
Vors looked about the corridor, but he saw no one, nor where the pig hade from. Solvet exined as the pig sat on its haunches and looked up at the bemused three.
Its a rare breed of pig. It <em>eats</em> minerals of all kind. Well, the name gives away what it does. Goldke. Nicknamed the Gold<em>fake</em> Pig.
Because that isnt real? Does that hurt? Hey, hold still, you. Is anyone checking if it has an explosive spell embedded in it? Hostile artifact?
Vors snatched his w away from poking at the gold scales growing out of the pig.
Who would do <em>that?</em>
Hello? Hostile Demons? Were three high-value targetsyou havent ever had to watch out for that?
The two non-Baleros leaders looked aghast. Tusxe snorted. She scanned the pig, leaning back.
Its clear. So thats not gold on it?
Not at all. Come here, you.
The pig was skittish, but Solvet made a <em>clicking</em> sound and it froze. It turned, trotted over, and sat down. Vors was doubly impressed.
It must be trained.
Ye-es. For wardogmands. I really didnt think that would work. Hmits not shedding, and someones kept the fake gold trimmed. You see, they eat minerals and produce fake gold.
Pyrite. Thats actually useful in spells. I guess this must be the property of someone in Paranfer.
The other two looked at Vors. The pig nced up at Solvet, then got to its hooves again. Tusxe blew out her cheeks.
Well, now weve got pigs roaming around <em>and</em> bugs. A fine wee. Feels like home.
Agreed. Perhaps something <em>is</em> wrong?
Solvet hesitated. Vors was about to suggest they all go searching, but Tusxe beat them to it.
Lets check. And stay on your guard, you two.
They headed down a corridor, the three of them, leaving the pig behind. Vors sensed the Lamia tossing scouting spellshe just began casting his own battle-spells from a list. As an afterthought, he tapped Solvet. The man jumped.
What? What are you?
He blinked as Vors [Mage Armor] spell appeared on his body. Tusxe eyed it. Solvet was surprised, but nodded at Vors.
Um, thank you.
Just in case. Do you need a backup weapon? I can lend you my Wand of Fire Bolts.
The [Lord] hesitated, eyed his belt-knife, and nodded.
Thatwould be appreciated. I shall try not to waste the charge. I have aiming Skills.
Good. Dont worry, though; its rechargeable.
Tusxe nced back as she came to the end of the corridor. Something was on the door; a bit of paper clumsily tacked to the cracked wood.
<em>Really? </em>Fancy. How do you do that? Ive heard you can recharge wands, but mine just break when used.
Fissival-made. Rechargeable sidearms are standard.
Vors smiled smugly. Right up until he saw the note on the door.
<em>Apologies for the dy. General Idecan is unavoidably detained. Please help yourself to rfrshments.</em>
Refreshments was misspelled. Vors stared at the note. He was tempted to crumple it up and stomp on it, but he held back, aware he was inpany.
No way. They just put that up there and? Without telling <em>us?</em>
Tusxe stared at the note. Then at Vors. Then both she and Vors recoiled as Solvet raised the wand and <em>sted</em> the note with a bolt of fire. Vors stepped back from the sh of heat, but Solvet just handed the wand back.
Apologies. I lost my temper. I would appreciate it if you didnt mention that to General Idecan.
The three looked at each other, and then back down the miserable corridor. As they turned back, they saw a little roach scurry out of the corridor, heard a <em>squeal</em>, and then the Goldke Pig caught the bug up in its mouth and crunched it down. It stared at the three, wagging its spiral tail as Vors, Tusxe, and Solvet stared at it.
They looked at each other, the pig, and then burst outughing.
-
Thirty minutester, Vors found himself flipping peanuts at the pig as it stood on hind legs, opening its mouth to catch them. It even did a little <em>hop,</em> and fell on its back, all four legs iling.
He startedughing, and so did Solvet, but Tusxe helped the pig get up.
Dontugh! Alright, youre okay, you stupid pig.
It smiled up at her, or looked like it. The Lamia gave it a pat on the head.
This pig is the best part of the wait, ident or not.
Vors offered. Solvet nodded. He flipped a peanut high into the air, and the pig jumped and caught it in its mouth. He had a lot more dexterity with his t thumbs than the Drake and Lamia did with ws. Vors saw Tusxe admiringly shake her head.
So handy.
Was that a pun?
She grinned and Vors sighed, but all animosity was drained from him. They sat in his cramped room, the door open, hoping to hear from whoever was in charge. Theyd debated leavingright until theyd found the door was locked.
Solvet had kicked it so hard hed sprained his foot. The man could be surprisingly hotheaded, Vors realized, for all he tried to be polite. He was massaging it now, but declined to use a potion.
It would hardly do for a [Lord] from Terandria to need a potion after encountering a door. That would be thest thing our contingent needs and I am sure my fellows would <em>not</em> thank me.
No one would say that.
Tusxe coughed into her arm as Solvet looked at her. The [Lord] nced at Vors, who murmured something about all being in it together. He offered the pig another nut, sighing.
We do have ears, you know. We know what other peoplesno, other continents think of us. Soft Terandrians with [Knights] and ineffectual leaders.
We dont say it <em>just</em> about Terandrians. Drakes tend to direct that mostly at Izrilians in the north.
Theres a difference?
Tusxe missed her own face with one of the nuts, which were actually ptable despite the bugs in each bowl, andughed at the other twos expressions.
Im <em>joking. </em>Of course I know theres a difference. Something. Look at this goofy pig. They have pigs like this in Terandria and Izril? All of ours are Stelbore; covered in armor and mean as can be. <em>Big.</em>
The pig was lying on its side, begging for Vors to toss it a peanut. The Drake tried and missed; the Goldke Pig stared at the peanut lying five inches in front of its snout.
<em>How could you? </em>Its eyes reproached the Drake. <em>Do you do this just to make me suffer?</em>
Highly amused, the Drake flicked a finger and the nut soared into the animals mouth. Solvet tossed a peanut unerringly into the pigs jaw and the <em>oink</em> made them all smile.
I must admit, you two were ready for battle more than I. Keeping my longbow on me would be the germane thing to do, wouldnt it? Rhirs highly martih, General Vors, that wand of yours is quite <em>nice.</em>
Solvet was admiring Vors custom-designed wand. Wistram manufactured wands; so did Fissival and a lot of magical institutions. However, his was custom-contoured to his grip, and had a tiny addition; a magical lens built into it such that it showed what youd hit.
Thank you, Lord Solvet. I made it myself.
<em>Really?</em>
That impressed the Lamia. [Battlemage] she might be, but Tusxe hadnt his ssical training. She was quite good with spells, though.
I bought everything I have. Staff included. d I didnt have to use itor injure this pig. They shouldnt let it roam about; I might have hurt it!
She indicated the staff with ss embedded at the top. Vors eyed it. It was Solvet who asked.
Is that aviable weapon, Commander Tusxe? Forgive me for asking, but it isnt what Id expect a [Mercenary Captain] to use.
The Lamia grinned at him.
Solvet, have you ever seen someone hit by a bunch of ss bottle shards in the face? Or seen a bottle smashed into your scales?
Solvet shook his head, fascinated and horrified. Vors raised a w.
I have. It doesnt seem that much better than a sword, though. Even enchanteda sword kills. ss maims.
The [Battlemage] winked at Vors.
Yes, exactly. Which would you like to be hit by, though? A stab to the face <em>or</em>?
She flicked the staff, indicating a blow to head-height. Vors winced. Tusxe went on.
The thing is, Im a [Mercenary], as you said, Lord Solvet.
She nodded at him. The man raised his hands.
I didnt mean to imply there was anything to do with rank
Well, I did. And I wasnt sure if Id have to work with a [General] or whatnotIm leading a mixedpany, but mostly Lizardfolk. And Id have hated to get some idiot who cant figure out how to use a Lizardfolk in battle, no offense, Vors.
The Lamia looked at the Drake. Vors hesitated, but then he ducked his head.
You know, I had the exact same thought. I suppose that since were here and since no onesing
He nced out the door at the hallway. The other two nodded. Vors leaned forwards.
How <em>does</em> one use a Lizardfolker[Infantryman]? Ive studied other species tactics, but I focused mainly on tactics Id see in Izril. Baleros is famous for its ambush-tactics in difficult terrain.
Solvet edged a bit closer as the pig begged for another treat. Tusxe dropped a peanut onto its belly and they watched it squirm as she replied.
Thats what everyone talks about, but if its a standup battle, Lizardfolk dont <em>melt.</em> Wellokay. They dont hold ground, but thats because Naga-variants are better. Youre talking your basic Lizardfolk? Theyre not[Infantrymen]. Theyre <em>probably</em> [Fighters].
Just [Fighters]? Not [Soldiers]?
Not [Militia]?
The Lamia rolled her eyes. She looked at the other two.
Your average Lizardfolk isnt conscripted or wants a fight. If you get them in apany, they might just bea kid who wants to earn money fast. They can use a sling, and theyll have light armor. Good leather, maybe. And a spear and buckler? The trick is, you have them whirling that sling every moment theyre not fighting. They can do a lot of damage with stones and stones are <em>cheap</em> in Baleros.
Like a [Shepherd], or other vige boy. A [Peasant] or [Viger].
Solvet was nodding. Vors just shook his head.
We dont have the same traditions. Slings are Gnollishmost Drakes in a city might learn to use a bow or crossbow, but not slings.
Tusxe gave him a toothy grin. Vors realized she was staring at Solvet. Not at <em>him, </em>or in awe of whatever physical attraction the Human man had; he was entirely too fleshy for both of them. Both she and Vors kept staring at his little wavy mustache in fascination.
Well, Ill see how good the Gnolls are. But <em>all</em> Lizardfolk can whirl a stone. Do you know if there are any Gnolls with us, Vors?
I have a [Charge Commander]but hes from Manus. As for the Tribes? No idea. Each one has a specialty.
Erwhat is Manus? I thought the Drakes came from the Walled Citieswhich are not alike, obviously.
Vors didnt take offense. He reached for the bowl of nuts, and Tusxe pushed the Goldke Pigs head away from the other bowl it was trying to drag off the table. She listened as he spoke with Solvet.
Manus is the City of War. They do have a very martial tradition, but every Walled City has a standing army, you see
-
One more hour had passed, and the three had just learned that the Goldke Pig, who had been nicknamed Nutball, for its propensity to curl up with satisfaction after eating a nut it liked, could do tricks.
Like an actual backflip. <em>And</em> it could actually use the gold armor it grew. In response to being horribly endangeredSolvet taking one of the nut bowls so they could eat itNutball had dropped a gold scale, <em>re-consumed</em> it, and spat a cloud of powdered pyrite into the air.
The glitter-bomb was <em>distressingly</em> hard to get off your scales or armor, and it also got in the eyes. But Nutball redeemed himself with the trick and was <em>oinking</em> as the three pped their hands to a song, singing for them, when the door opened.
Vors rose to his feet as a Drake, a Human man, and a Lizardman walked in. They were all smiling, and all, he noted, wearing insignia that denoted high-ranks. The Drake stopped.
Sir! Apologies for the wait, General Vors!
He gave Vors a crisp salute. The [General] blinked as the Human man bowed to Lord Solvet, and the Lizardperson made a w-sign with neck frills slightly opened that Tusxe clearly knew.
Captain Shellc looked at General Vors, with a slight smile on his face. The war veteran of Rhir looked at the confused [General] as Nutball ran over. The pig sat down and raised a hoof as if it were trying to salute.
Whats going on here?
General Vors demanded, but one look at the three who hade to meet them and Solvet groaned. Tusxe caught on, but the Drake had to be told.
Rhir had not put them up in this tiny hellhole as a way of punishing them, or because they had not enough money. In short order, Vors found himself sitting in a <em>far</em> nicer room, rxing, drinking some wine and having snacks with the others, andughing, a bit embarrassed.
After allit was a test. The Blighted Kingdom had been observingnot spying exactly, but making sure they didnt kill each other. The rest was easy.
Everyone gets locked together, General Vors.
Captain Shellc was exining. The Drake had wounds from his battle, but he was being fitted with a prosthesis for his amputated limb, but he had refused to actually leave Rhir.
Everyone in a position ofmand, you mean.
The [Captain] nodded. He was up for promotion, but had been assigned as Vors liaison. Not least because it had been unclear Vors <em>would</em> be assumingmand of the Drake division here.
Not everyone passes so well, I take it?
Lord Solvet looked for his Human subordinate for confirmation. She nodded.
The test is to avoid them killing each other, sir. Groups of two or five at most. Cooperation is hoped for, and the test is designed to be as miserable as possible
<em>Solidarity in misery.</em> Hence the nuts with a bug, the cramped rooms and chairs designed to make you want to leave, and even locking the door to the area.
Nutball was also part of the test. The Blighted Kingdom was used to having mixed-species conflicts, and so this was all engineered to bring together foreign leaders and have them work together.
Sometimes they fail out, and are sent home, or relegated to guard duty in the capital. <em>And they really hate that!</em>
The Lizardfolk chattered to Tusxe, who had an air of patience as she listened to her excitable junior member of the species. The little Lizardfolk [Tactician] gestured at the door.
Other times the participants do weird things. They break down the door, sometimes! The area is warded, but <em>one time,</em> I heard a [Commander] thought there was a Demon attack and everyone was missing, so she told her [Queen] to sound the rm!
Anyone ever get hurt?
Two deaths.
<em>Deaths?</em>
The three foreign leaders were astonished, Vors especially. He could see himselfing to an altercation with Tusxe, but not to the death! Shellc grimaced.
Duels. A pair of HumansIzril and Terandriadueled to the death one time. [Ladies], not [Lords], with enchanted daggers. The other time wasuhallergies. A Duhan didnt take to the nuts well.
And you keep serving them?
<em>Well,</em> allergies are a great conversation-starter, [General]. And if the Demons can kill you by leaving a bowl of nuts in the same room as youit was a huge diplomatic incident. They do test for that, you know. Didnt you notice the bowl of nuts on the pier? The one just sitting there by the people ushering you in?
I <em>saw that!</em> I just thought someone left it thereso they watch for people who run screaming? Thatsclever!
That was how Vors came to know Rhir. He, Solvet, and Tusxe were already familiar after the test; it was likely theyd be asked to join forces in one of the mixed armies. Rhir had no intention of letting Drakes stick with only Drakes, and this had broken far more ground than Vors could have imagined with simply introductions.
You can meet the other leaders tonight, all but two of whom passed the test, General Vors. For now? Wee to Rhir. I hope I can serve under you. It wasan honor to serve with thest mixed-army before.
Shellc shook Vors w again. The [General] nodded solemnly and everyone lost a bit of their levity.
The pig <em>oinking</em> restored that. Vors nced down and Tusxeughed.
So what do we do with this pig? I hope we dont eat him; I liked him.
Oh, hes going with you. The new army gets a mascot and thatsdid you call him <em>Nutball?</em>
The threemanders looked at each other. A mascot? Apparently, Rhir also included free pets. Vorsst shock was the cunning look the Goldke Pig gave him. Captain Shellc gave the pig a respectful, and even wary nod.
Trained by Rhirs [Beast Masters]. Normally they do Wyverns and otherbat animals, but pigs like this and other animals for scouting,panionshipthey have <em>Waisrabbit </em>scouting bunnies. Nutball is a decorated survivor of eight engagements and can actually fight, with the trick with the dust. Two Demon kills.
Nutball stared up at the rookie. It saluted Vors again as the Drake stared at it.
<em>Wee to Rhir, soldier.</em>
-
When it came to the affairs of state, and the growing Unseen Empire, Laken Godart was prepared to deal with a lot of issues.
Monsters, altercations between the Goblin and non-Goblin poptions, attacks from abroad, reprisals from the Circle of Thorns. Deadsomethings
Even the possibility of intervention from another world, either in knowledge, or visitors like the fae. The dangers of war or the same things that had killed Erin Solstice, a creature like Bvierr.
Of all the things that he was told to fear and expect and prepare fora gue of Sariant Lambs, the worlds cutest and most affectionate animal, was <em>not</em> the crisis he was expecting.
-
It began as Laken was looking into the issue, of, well, running his empire better.
Of course, he had a number of worries he was juggling. The [Emperor] of Riverfarm did not exist in a bubble, although one certainly had been around the remote vige, ignored by all. Now though, the bubble-empire was getting big enough to start pushing on other interests.
Well, if Laken tallied up the problems, the first was some kind of border-war to the west, the first hed heard of it. Local nobility in conflict.
Second? Ryoka Griffin and the case of the missing Mrsha, both rted? Unrted? He heard she was <em>cursed</em>, which pretty much summed up Ryokas charmedcursedlife for him. He had asked some of his [Witches] to look into it.
As for Mrsha, Laken wasnt sure if his Gold-rank team, Griffon Hunt, would be returning or not. He had been preparing to celebrate them and the Halfseekers on their return trip from the Vige of Death, but if they went, they went. The [Emperor] had no clue what had gone down in the southexcept that Bvierr had been involved.
So, he made his priority that day two-fold.
First? He summoned his advisors.
Eloise, Hedag, Prost, Durenelets say Ram and Beycalt too. And Mister Heg.
Laken named the people he wanted to speak to out of the number of officials. Ram, the [Head Farmer], and Beycalt, the [Construction Supervisor] werent as important as Prost was, but Laken liked their insights. Heg was Ries recement.
<em>She was still gone.</em> On her trip that only Laken knew about. Heg was an [ountant], and a good one, so he was part of Ries faction.
They all arrived, the [ountant] being first, and nervous to be included in the group, but Lakens order of business was simple.
I n on meeting with Wiskeriater, so we shall make this brief. I would like you all to consider and propose items, activities, even new buildings all for Riverfarms entertainment and wellbeing.
The others reacted with interested murmurs. Hedag? Sheughed, as Laken knew she would.
Entertainment, your Majesty? Have you heard muchint? I havent. Riverfarm works well, not that we would turn our noses up at a festival or [Bard].
Laken nodded to Prost as the [Steward] queried him.
Im eternally impressed by Riverfarms work ethic, Prost. However, everyone needs leisure time and work has been nonstop. Since we became an empire, it feels.
Prost and Durene had to nod at that, and Gamel, hovering by one of the windows with the small squad now under his control. Laken went on, ncing around to mimic meeting peoples eyes; it made them feel better than him speaking and never moving at all.
You see, where Ie from, we do have ess to a number of books. Toys, gamesnot that Riverfarm iscking. People can swim in the river
Downstream of where we draw our water or theres hell to pay.
Ram muttered. Laken smiled as the man flushed.
No, exactly, Mister Ram. A dedicated pool? A library? I would like these things, and whatever you suggest. Even song crystals. Something to reward Riverfarms hard-working folk in their time off. After all, children need to y, dont they, Witch Hedag?
Of course, Emperord. So you want us to propose items and such?
Laken nodded.
Festivals, objects. Mister Heg, thats why youre here. Well devise a budget
It was refreshingly simple these days. In the past, Laken would say something like what if we did this? He would always get agreement, dissenting opinions if he chose the right people rather than sycophants, but what the [Emperor] had learned was to <em>act.</em> If he asked for someone to do something, they woulde back to him to confirm it.
This time? He heard out suggestions, told them to make more proposals, and had the project in the works within the hour. It would be funded. It would be done.
Toys for Riverfarm. A librarywhat had surprised Laken the most was the unexpected suggestions. <em>Paints</em> and an arts room for anyone interested, of course! He didnt think of that. Spellbooks for anyone who wanted to see if they had an aptitude?
He put it out of his mind as he went for his true objective for the day. It had be in to Laken that there was a crisis named Bvierr. Riverfarm had endured it once, but the Stitch Witch was a walking cmity. He had no idea how you could oppose hershort of throwing every [Witch] in Riverfarm at her, and the odds were theyd just run away. The only trump card he had was Wiskeria.
And shewas interesting. The [Witch] was his [General] and also a witch ofw, a new kind of [Witch]. She had sworn to stop her mother, even if it meant Bvierrs death.
On the other hand, she had also convinced Bvierr <em>not</em> to attack Mrsha, at least physically, and Laken had heard she baked a cake and put it into her hat yesterday.
He hadnt realized howoddWiskeria was. Mainly because Wiskeria was good at hiding it. Laken had been ndestinely observing her in his mind, and now came to talk to the [Witch].
-
This was how Wiskeria was a bit odd; she was normally her spectacled self, wearing blue robes and a pointed hat, the quintessential [Witch].
She was also a Silver-rank adventurer, responsible, even unremarkable if youd met Revi or someone with a very strident personality. She was the kind of second inmand shed been when Sacra, posing as Odveig, had led their team here.
A sensible organizer and leader. She remained that way until Laken had realized she was Bvierrs daughter. And that posed a question to the [Emperor].
<em>Youd think that the daughter of one of the greatest [Witches] of all time would be a bit weirder, wouldnt you?</em>
Hed run a test. The fruits of that test were apparent as Wiskeria raised her voice.
No. He <em>didnt.</em>
She was gossiping with some of Riverfarms women, from various positions in the vige. It was justrxing, having some of Eloises famous tea. Wiskeria looked shocked.
Cheating? Did you ask a [Witch] to sort it out? Miss Yesel? Or?
There were internal judiciary systems within Riverfarm. The young woman shook her head tearfully.
Noand please dont ask, Miss Wiskeria! I dont want him to lose his <em>head</em>, if Hedag were to hear
She wouldnt do that. And something should be done.
Beycalt was frowning. Wiskeria nodded, looking disturbed.
Hes your fianc, isnt he? You have to do something, iere! I could talk to Prost or even
Not his Majesty! Illhe said hed make things right, break it off. It was only <em>once!</em>
The others looked at each other. Laken, leaning against a windowsill, made a mental note not to intervene or pretend hed heard about this. Some things an [Emperor] did not need to deal in, and this?
Its not once.
He <em>said</em>
Wiskerias hat swiveled back and forth as Beycalt glowered and the poor iere defended her unfaithful fianc. Fascinating as this was, Laken only focused on Wiskeria. Becauseshe was genuinely disturbed.
Disturbed, upset on behalf of iere, the [Seamstress], a talented young woman, whom Wiskeria had befriended. Given tips toof course Wiskeria knew how to sew. And it made sense! Youd support a friend who realized she was being cheated on, wouldnt you? Be upset?
All checks out. Thats genuine emotion right there. Wouldnt you think, Gamel?
Yes, your Majesty.
The [Knight] hovered, palpably uneasy at eavesdropping, although his [Emperor] had insisted. Laken nodded to himself.
Sohow did Wiskeria react to the other tasks I asked her to oversee and help with?
The [Knight] didnt have to think.
She helped cull a bunch of animals, and butchered them without a blink. Even some of the [Farmers] were surprised by how chatty she was. Then she went and helped the [Mortician] with
He gulped. Laken nodded.
Preparing the dead bodies. And have you <em>ever</em> seen her look upset while fighting? What about when we were burning the Creler bodies? Anyone?
The [Emperor] asked the other warriors who were on bodyguard duty. They shook their heads. Laken nodded.
<em>That was Wiskerias secret.</em> She never <em>stopped</em> being normal, even when she should be. Seasoned warriors could fight in a battle, but even they might nch at culling and butchering animals. Wiskeria? Not a bat of the eyelid.
Crelers, dead bodiesspooky [Witch] apprentices. Laken remembered her chasing them off. <em>Nothing</em> fazed Wiskeria, except, apparently, infidelity.
<em>Emotional, social matters.</em> She raised her voice behind Laken, visibly upset.
iere, you cant let him get away with this. This is more than just being unfaithful! He made a promise to you! An oath of love! You <em>have</em> to resolve this.
How?
The [Witch] thought about it.
For someone who breaks the vow of love? You could break his legs.
What?
Laken sat back up. Gamel, and the rest of the squad turned. Wiskeria was pacing back and forth in front of the women. Beycaltughed, but Wiskeria shook her head.
Im serious! Its a broken vow! Demand something of hisyou cant trust oathbreakers. The engagements off. DemandI dont know, Ive never been engaged. Whats the penalty for breaking an engagement?
Theres not one, Wiskeria! Its<em>love.</em>
The [Witch] whirled on her friend, angrierLaken realized, <em>angrier</em> than any of the other women for different reasonsand pointed at iere.
And love demands a price. Hes broken his word. You were going to get <em>married!</em> Demand fair rpense, iere. DemandI dont know, one of his testicles.
<em>What?</em>
The [Witch] looked around.
She doesnt need to cut it off herself! Its justthatthats not what youd normally do, is it?
She hesitated, as she saw the other women looking at her. Wiskeria opened her mouth, then promptly shut it.
<em>And that was the mystery of Wiskeria, partially solved.</em> Laken strolled out of the home, and looked at Gamel.
Ask Beycaltter if anythings done. OtherwiseProst can handle it. No testicles being removed.
The [Knight] nodded, ncing back towards the circle of arguing women. Laken walked on.
The thing about Wiskeria was that she <em>slipped.</em> You had to catch her. He just bet that the talk about breaking promises was something shed learned from her mother.
Woe to anyone who ever broke a promise to Wiskeria as children.
Ah, well, we all have ourints, Emperor Godart. But if you wanted to know Wiskerias differences, you might have asked us.
All of Lakenspany jumped and half his bodyguards nearly drew their desbut they saw Eloise standing there and rxed. The [Witch] had snuck up on them all!
Eloise, you caught my spying.
An [Emperor] does not hide well. Are you wondering what makes Wiskeria different?
Laken ducked his head, a bit shamefaced.
Wiskeria has always dodged questions about her past. I did not wish to <em>push</em>. Eloise, I dont suppose you can borate?
The [Tea Witch] considered the question and Laken knew she was weighing her service to the Unseen Empire against the code of [Witches], whatever that was. She gestured.
Shall we walk, your Majesty?
They did, towards the river and the fields, as Eloise hummed, then spoke.
You noticed Wiskeria doesnt blink at most things; well, many [Witches] could say the same. If you want to truly see how Bvierr changed her, look no further than how she talks to her mother. Orhad you any [Murderers], [Bandits], or other unsavory folk in Riverfarm, you would have noticed it already.
I tend not to enjoy that kind of person, Witch Eloise.
Oh, I know. They would have beeninstructive. You know Wiskeria has sworn to kill her mother? They both know it.
Yes. Her conversation was entirely polite, though.
Eloise nodded.
<em>That</em> is Wiskeria. She can speak to a monstera true monster, regardless of the faceand deal with them in a friendly way. Then kill them in the next hour. Both she and her mother know that one day, one of them might die. They can still be <em>mother and daughter</em> until then.
Laken drew in his breath.
So thats it. And thatsounds entirely like Bvierr. Practical.
Able to differentiate. I can be your mortal enemy, Emperor Laken, but offer you tea. It is not a skill many Humans learn. Many species at all. Will that satisfy?
It would, and Laken thanked Eloise. Of course, the [Witch] had sought him out today to propose more lessons in tea for anyone interested. Maybe a few tea sets?
And while we discuss itthe new fields are doing well, and your greenhouses would allow crops of all seasons. Perhaps I could petition you to grow some nts? Tea sells quite well.
Of course, Witch Eloise. Shall we visit Mister Ram?
She smiled, and Laken pointed in the direction he sensed the [Head Farmer]. It wasnt <em>exactly</em> payment for just Wiskerias background, but he reflected that the [Witches] certainly knew what they wanted. Eloise had an empires worth of customers, and it seemed, might have cheap ess to all the tea leaves she could want.
It was at that point when the gue arrived. Laken slowed as he realized the [Farmers] had abandoned their stations.
Hm. They might have found something. Theyre all gathered in the field.
Yes, your Majesty.
The [Emperor] realized Gamel could <em>see</em> what he had observed; his [Emperor]-sight didnt trump regr eyes all the time. The [Emperor] began to walk that way, and noticed more peopleing.
Durene, Prost, even Hedag and Wiskeria and a few others, noticing theck of work. Beniars [Riders] too, calmly assembling.
Is there danger, Emperor?
Eloise was standing on her tip-toes to see, being shorter than the others. Laken frowned.
No. Theyre all clustered aroundhm, it must be nearly six <em>dozen</em>did one of the pens break loose? They look like baby <em>sheep.</em>
Thepany rxed instantly. Unless they were carnivorous, or even if they were, that didnt sound like monster-ss threats, and the [Farmers] would have raised the rm if they were.
However, it was Eloise who suddenly lost her smile. She looked ahead.
Baby sheep? Lambs? You dont mean those wretched
Laken nced at her, interested, and then heard the cutest <em>baah</em> he had ever heard in his life. He arrived with the others just in time to find that the [Farmers] were petting, cuddling, and feeding scraps of vegetation to their unexpected guests.
Your Majesty! Its wonderful! Ive never seen so many, and they just came up and started nibbling the corn over there! Theyre beautiful and friendly as you want! Theyre
<em>Sariant Lambs.</em>
Eloise hissed. Laken could not see, but he sensed the [Witch] recoil from the adorable, seventy-plus herd ofmbs that had waddled over, mewling and baahing. Laken Godart raised his eyebrows.
Today was a weird day.
-
Sariant Lambs were known the world over for one thing: they had obtained the record as the worlds <em>cutest</em>, most adorable and beloved pet.
No other animal beat them. You could object and say, dog this, or cat that, or fluffy bunny whatever. You would be wrong. It wasnt that any other pet was less cute or adorable, but Sariant Lambs were <em>better.</em> Superior fluff! Superior cuteness!
One touch of their fur, ranging from white to ck with some surprising shades in between, and you couldnt help but feel like you were touching what a cloud should feel like. They would beg to be picked up, their little eyes and heads staring up, lick your cheekthey never got as big as regr sheep, being a dwarf breed.
All of Riverfarm that heard about the animals flocked over. The Sariant Lambs didnt run; nor were they even skittish. Other animals needed to be trained, and even the best got nervous inrge groups. Sariant Lambs <em>loved</em> the attention.
Its so <em>cute!</em> Mothermother! Can I have it?
A girl shrieked as themb nuzzled her, running up to her parents. The others hadmbs in their armsDurene was tentatively, <em>tentatively</em> scratching the stomach of a littlemb whod rolled over winsomely.
Laken Godart heard simr sentimentspeople were talking all around him. Prost turned to Ram.
They just showed up, you said? Theyre <em>valuable!</em> Each ones worth a fortune.
Prost, you dont want to sell them? This is a miracle! We could have them in a home, one to a family. They dont need much to eatthis could solve his Majestys worries about entertainment! Who needs books when you have this cute thing?
Themb <em>baahed</em> and burped in his arms and both menughed. Sariant Lambs were more than just cuteone was gamely ying tag as a toddler ran away. Another was hopping like a bunny, mimicking an actual bunny pet.
It wasthe most memetic disy Laken had ever seen in his life. He had never seen cat videos, or dog videos. The blind man got absolutely nothing from that kind of thing when a friend was showing the video around. And someone saying look at the dog as it takes a bath! was not actually fun.
In his head, the Sariant Lambs were doing all these things to the delight of the people watching or interacting with them. Laken was d thembs were bringing some levity and enjoyment to Riverfarm, but what he was <em>really</em> curious about was the reaction of the [Witches].
They had gathered at the news of the Sariant Lambs. Unlike the people of Riverfarm, they hadnt flocked forwards to pet and touch the creatures.
The [Witches] were standing in a line, apart from the cooing people. <em>They</em> were not impressed. Rather, as Durene whispered, they were giving thembs a look like slugs in the wheat field. Which Laken was quite amused by.
Whats the matter, [Witch] Hedag, Eloise?
The two senior [Witches] were staring at thembs. Hedag flipped her hat up.
Looks like youve got parasites, your Majesty. Didnt expect theyd show up, but Im d youre not cooing over the little things. Happiness leeches is what they are. Affection slugs. <em>Shoo.</em>
She kicked at a Sariant Lamb as it waddled over and it made a distressed noise that immediately made Durene pick it up and hold it protectively away from Hedag with a re. Laken got what Hedag meant. He smiled.
Competitors in the same field?
Eloises head slowly rotated around, but her rare look of extreme displeasure was lost on the blind [Emperor].
I didnt think you were that tactless, your Majesty. Hardly. Sariant Lambs are parasitesjust not shaped like them. Parasites for people and culture, not animals. Is it a surprise [Witches] dont care for such things, as lovely as their appearance might be?
<em>Parasites?</em> Laken Godart nced over. He heard a <em>whuff</em>, and then a caw. Instantly, he held out an armwinced
Frostwingnded on his shoulder, having taken off from her usual perch of Bismarck. The Mossbear and bird had bothe over to investigate the noises. Instantly, one of the Sariant Lambs broke off from the crowd, and approached Bismarck. The bear sat back on its haunches, but then stared as the little Sariant Lamb made an approximation of a growl, like a bear. Only, cute.
It came over, inspected his paw, and to Lakens amazement, found a little thorn that had been troubling the Mossbear and pulled it out with its teeth. Bismarck instantly perked up, bent to nuzzle the littlemb, and everyone was doubly impressed.
It even got the bear. Lets kill them when everyones asleep.
Laken heard Witch Agratha mutter. He turned.
Just what is the problem? That seemed like a wholesome interaction.
A line of angry [Witches] turned to face the [Emperor], arms folded. It was Wiskeria who gave the exnation Laken needed.
They seem nice now, Laken. But theyre buying your affection. In a week? They wont be as helpful. Theyll demand feeding, petting at all hours, or theyll start crying. In a month? Half of Riverfarm will be fighting to win their affections. Theyll turn households against each other, starve all your pets, and if the empire copses, theyre on their way.
The [Emperor]s head turned. He could not see the Sariant Lambs, and perhaps that was a good thing. But suddenlyLaken Godart wondered if the smiles the Sariant Lambs were apparently giving to the Humans were actually more like disguised smirks. He stepped back and looked at Wiskeria.
Tell me more.
-
Theres a rhyme for the little [Witches]. <em>A good [Witch] adds more than they take. Even the bad one takes, and uses it to create. A [Witch] who leaves naught at all is a mistake.</em> Compared to usyonmbs? Parasites, more like.
Hedagid out the fundamental difference between Sariant Lambs and [Witches] like that. <em>[Witches]</em> used emotions. So did thembs.
The difference was that Sariant Lambs had zero qualities of their own. Their wool was fluffy and had market value, but like sheep, they were incapable of shearing it themselves and suffered if it grew too much.
Their tiny size meant that Sariant Lambs could neither run, nor actually obtain food that easily. Sheep, for all they were herbivores, had a number of survival mechanisms.
There <em>were</em> no rams among Sariant Lambsthey had both genders, but both were cute and cuddly despite age. The way they survived was by finding someone else to protect, house, and feed them.
If that seemed like a stupid self-defense mechanism, well, Laken saw all seventymbs already being fought over as people wanted to have one in their homesno, two! And it didnt stop at people.
Sariant Lambs can get <em>anything</em> to like them. You saw your bear? Well, theyve done that kind of thing to no less than <em>Wyverns.</em>
Laken turned to the [Witches].
Ridiculous.
Wiskeria just snorted.
I wish. Theyre not big enough to be even a mouthful. Theyre <em>exceptionally</em> intelligent; they can understand what you say, and they can make themselves useful and beloved. For a while. There are cases of Wyverns protecting the stupid things, even fetching nts to feed thembs.
Do they have any natural predators?
Sure. Crelers, undeadEater Goats. Sariant Lambs fear them like the gue. Anything that cant be bought by cuteness.
Laken was beginning to understand, but still, this beggared his belief a bit. He gestured at thembs. Cute they might be, but
Surely other predators would eat them. Like Bismarck if he was hungry.
Eloise gave him a patient sigh. She walked over to one of thembs.
Your Majestywatch.
The [Tea Witch] bent down and seized amb by the scruff of the neck. She produced a belt knife, and themb freaked out. It opened its mouth andbegan to <em>wail.</em>
It cried <em>almost</em> like a child, butcutely. Instantly, every person looked at Eloise in horror.
Witch Eloise! What are you doing to the poor creature?
Even <em>Bismarck</em> came over to protectively shield themb. Eloise gave it up without much more of a fuss, and walked back to Laken.
That sounded like a <em>baby!</em> A cute baby!
Laken was rattled. His head tracked themb, but all he could see was its outline. Eloise nodded, adjusting her hat and tucking her knife away.
Its just as well you cant see them, your Majesty. Their charms arent working on you. Which is also why we came here, to warn you about the danger. Sariant Lambs are <em>intelligent</em>, and they know what theyre doing. They sought out Riverfarm, so dont be fooledtheyll be a pest worse than Vorepirs in the fields since you can kill one, not the other.
The Unseen Emperor nodded slowly. He had to admit, that the [Witches]mentary and his ownck of insight was revealing the Sariant Lambs as little, cynical maniptors rather than the cute, helpless animals.
As if they suddenly sensed that the leader of this ce wasnt being won over, one of thembs broke away from the crowd and trotted up to Laken. It stopped in front of him, on its bottom, all four hooves raised, and waved them.
Baah, baaah.
It was an adorable disy. Laken Godart didnt pick it up.
It wants you to hold it, your Majesty!
Miss Yesel called out. Laken bent down. The Sariant Lamb stared up at Lakens face.
His face, with his <em>closed</em> eyes. The man frowned at the littlemb.
Hm. It <em>sounds</em> cute.
The Sariant Lamb backed up, clearly confused at thisck of pure adoration. The othermbs nced at each other. Then one <em>baahed</em>, and came forwards. It moved past the first, and began nuzzling Lakens leg.
It was <em>so soft! </em>Laken put out a hand and the second Sariant Lamb began to nuzzle it. He blinked, then smiled despite the [Witch]s warnings.
You clever little sh
Wiskeria actually <em>kicked</em> at themb, but Gamel blocked her. It ran away, crying piteously until it was scooped up. Laken stared at his hand.
Ive never felt something so soft!
Dont let them fool you!
Witch Wiskeria! Please! I dont know what youre talking about, but this wont lose us productivity or start fights! Your Majesty, we cant leave these creatures to be eaten up. Wont you let us take them in?
The [Emperor] sensed morembs crowding around as Prost made an appeal on behalf of Riverfarm. He hesitatedthen stood and backed up. Behind the line of [Witches].
Hedag, Eloise, Agratha, Wiskeriasenior [Witches]. Quick conference.
-
Laken had to shake off the soft touch of the Sariant Lamb. The [Witches] gathered around him.
Alright, whats the actual concern if we allow them to stay? Theyve already won over everyone here.
The [Witches] nced at each other. Laken was almost more wary of thembs now than before, having experienced their charm. It was almost like magic. It <em>might </em>be magic.
Well, theyvee to Riverfarm, and fallen right into our trap, your Majesty. This flockd run if it thought we were hungry or werent fat enough to feed them. They didnt know there are [Witches] here, though. Give me five minutes with an axe and we can have fine eating for the next few days.
Hedag grinned. Even Laken gave her a look of horror.
Witch Hedag, those are thinking animals.
The Hedag of swift justice scowled. Laken wondered if it was the Sariant Lambs already having twisted his mindbut murdering a bunch of animals wasnt something many people from Earth were at home with.
Sore leeches. Bah, I can see thats not going to work. We can sell them, but [Beast Tamers] are wary of the devils. They like to breed and its hard enough to cull regr animals, let alone them.
Lets say we let them stay. What will happen?
Hedag growled, thinking.
They steal other animals food, distract people from work, and the thingsll breed until they get sorge a smaller herd splits off to infest somewhere else.
On the plus side, they <em>will</em> be helpful and motivate people for a while, your Majesty. They wont show their true colors until a week or two when theyre settled in.
The [Emperor] nodded. He nced at the Sariant Lambs, and wasnt oblivious to the mood of his people. He turned to the disgruntled [Witches].
I dont believe thered actually be a revolt if I ordered them all killed, but I doubt we can drive them off without people disobeying. Lets see what thembs do first, [Witches]. Well make ns based on that.
The [Witches] protested of course, but Laken could either give an order he knew wouldnt be obeyed, or ughter a bunch ofmbs in front of the children and adults. He let them keep thembs, refusing an offer of one and had Prost divvy them up between households.
The [Witches] hated it and red daggers at the littlembs as they were carried off and everyone got, reluctantly, back to work, although some of the [Farmers] found thembs following them around as they worked, to their delight. The women with hats stomped off. Laken distinctly heard Agratha muttering to the others.
So ends Riverfarm.
-
The next few days passed by with the Sariant Lambs continuing to delight, and doing everything from trying to make a bed, to proving to be perfectly house-trained, to enjoying baths and dancing together for fun.
They were a bomb of adorable, and it <em>was</em> a bomb, because Laken began seeing the fallout that the [Witches] had promised within three days.
<em>He</em> sensed it because thembs were clever. But after twelve incidents, Laken summoned Eloise and a small group of [Witches] to his home.
Witches, I believe youre right.
<em>Now</em> he listens?
Laken had to admit, hed been a bit dubious, but he exined what hed observed.
I just sensed twelve instances of a Sariant Lamb stealing food from a dog bowl. One of them was actually eating from a horses trough and the animals justlet them do it!
We <em>told</em> you they were parasites. They won over animals and folk alike.
Hedag growled. The [Emperor] agreed atst, reluctantly. The [Witches] hadnt exaggerated the Sariant Lambs true naturesmuch.
They were little <em>bullies.</em> When no one was watching, they took food from the other pets. They demonstrated that in increasingly needy ways; one evenpeted with a baby for attention, wailing more piteously and with much more cute rewards when the parents fed it. An infant was inherently stupid; Sariant Lambs were smart.
<em>Too smart. </em>They were stealing food from the other animals in Riverfarm. Mostly sheepdogs and ratters and suchbut also <em>horses </em>food. Laken fixed it, of course, ensuring that the food was ced higher up and that the animals were fed.
In response? He actually had to walk into a barn as thembs fled and touch thedder theyd dragged over to a food trough to believe it.
The only benefit Laken had in this shadow-war was that thembs clearly didnt know he could <em>sense</em> what they were doing. In front of him, they pretended to be as cute and helpless as could be, and they clearly <em>knew</em> he was the [Emperor]; no less than six followed him around if he was outside, much to the envy of his subjects.
They were turning Riverfarm into admirers, that much was certain. Durene loved the wretched things and even though theyd been told, all of Lakens counselors couldnt quite bring themselves to even suggest getting rid of thembs.
Not that the Sariants found Riverfarm as easy pickings as other ces. The [Witches] were responsible for that. The Sariant Lambs couldnt charm even the apprentices, and the [Witches] reminded peopleloudlyof their worse qualities, like trying to steal literal food from babies. Thembs had to be helpful around the [Witches] to prove the hat-women wrong.
Nor did their food-stealing trick work on <em>one</em> type of animal. Even Frostwing would let amb sniff her bowl of meatalthough Sariant Lambs were herbivoresbut the Sariant Lambs tried their food-theft trick on the wrong group.
On the fifth day, one sidled up to the pile of meat scraps, and grain and other crops promised to Witch Mavikas crows, who kept the fields clear. The birds <em>cawed</em> warningly, but the boldmb just tried to cuddle one crow, charm the rest. They let it do itright up until it began to eat one of the corn cobs.
The crows ate themb after they pecked it to death, much to the horror of Riverfarms folk. True to Eloises word, themb <em>screamed</em> loud enough to distress everyone in several thousand feet. But it was dead before anyone sprinted over.
Witch Mavika refused toment on the deadmb, when the people of the Unseen Empire wanted to take her to task over it.
<em>A pact was sealed, and no one will break it. Notmb or woman. Would you like me to show my displeasure on these little pests?</em>
<em>Thousands</em> of crows cawed warningly and thembs instantly ran into houses. The people backed away as the [Crow Witch] tilted her head.
The [Witches] yed no games. Indeed, on the sixth day of the Sariant Lamb invasion, Wiskeria brought it up to Laken over breakfast. Durene wasnt with him; she was off feeding hermb scraps of corn mush shed personally prepared with a bit of spice themb wanted, and Laken was beginning to get sick of the needymbshe had refused to have one with him.
Theyre certainly showing their true colors. Why do <emmbs</em> want vor in their food?
Why do you?
Wiskeria retorted. Laken had to admit, hed invited that one. Apparently, all the Sariant Lambs had refused to eat breakfast until they had properly <em>prepared</em> food, and some of his [Cooks] were whipping up gourmetmb breakfasts.
I can see I was wrong, Wiskeria. Thesembs are getting worse and theyll be even more annoying in a week. What do you propose?
His [General] hesitated. She looked around, for amb, not Human eavesdroppers, and leaned over the table.
Laken. Ifsayall thembs were to vanish overnight, with no one knowing how it happened, with no blood or traces ever found, how angry would you be? No one would ever knowwell, be able to <em>prove</em> anything.
The [Emperor] stopped eating and raised his head. Wiskeria sat back. Laken Godart swallowed, and then burst out.
There <em>has</em> to be a resolution between keeping them here and <em>murdering</em> them all in the night, Wiskeria.
Well, Ive never heard of one. Either sell them or figure out something, because the [Witches] can see whats happening as well as you can.
The [Witch] snapped back. She was genuinely worried.
Theyre just <emmbs.</em> Theyre not a threat beyonddisruption to work and stealing from other animals! Parasites, not like Crelers. Right?
The [Witch] was silent. Laken faltered.
You must be joking.
Wiskeria fiddled with her sses, and looked around again. She leaned forwards.
Let me put it like this, Laken. We, [Witches], that is, dont <em>think</em> theyre actually an organized threat. Theyre just maniptive little geniuses. HoweverQueen Geilouna of Desonis owns one. I know theres a Sariant Lamb owned by the Queen of Ailendamus, the King of Avnd thats just <em>Terandria.</em> There are Sariant Lambs owned by the rich and powerfulbecause thats what Sariant Lambs like, to be pamperedacross the world. If they <em>were</em> subtly manipting their owners, who could tell?
This was the stupidest conspiracy theory that Laken had ever heard. Yet he couldnt quite deny it; thembs were <em>intelligent.</em>
Case in point; one had apparently unlocked the warehouse door with a key it had somehow found and theyd gorged themselves on food. The fact that amb had figured out which key was in Prosts house, gotten it to the door way over its head
No. Thembs were a problem. What Laken wanted to know was, <em>why Riverfarm?</em>
These cute things could have gone to Invrisil. They could have bothered Magnolia Reinhart or a [Merchant]. Why Riverfarm? Were not rich!
You have everything they want.
Eloise gave Laken a cynical smile. She was walking along as Prost hurriedwith amb in a carrying slingto chivvy some of Riverfarms people to get back to work. Thembs protested; they wanted their fur handbed and all dirt and specks taken out! And hoof-manicures!
The [Tea Witch] gestured around the vige.
Riverfarm might not be as rich as Invrisil, but Sariant Lambs value safety over luxury, Emperor Laken. Your empire is a byword in safety; no bandits, no monsters. Believe me, many people areing just for that. Why not the Sariants? More than that, howevera big city is more dangerous than somewhere like Riverfarm. Sariant Lambs can be run over, and many would steal them to resell. They <em>like</em> to stay together; they are a herd.
Hence Riverfarm being their paradise. Wonderful.
The problem to Laken wasnt killing thembs. Hed had enough of killing sentient species, thank you. It was more that thembs <em>were</em> cute and cuddly. People liked having them about and they were keeping people smiling. If it wasnt for the other things, theyd be fine.
Do they ever stop infesting a ce?
Eloise nodded.
It would take months. A settlement loses its prosperity, or quarrels too much. Orthe animals run them out.
Really. But the dogs and horses
They can only starve so long, your Majesty. Cats, now. Intelligent cats, or animals owned by [Beast Tamers] would do it fastest. They wont let the Sariants kill them off.
Laken rubbed at his face.
This is such a stupid problem.
He stopped as something went <em>baaah</em> in front of him. A littlemb rubbed against his leg; they were still following him and kept trying to touch him.
It actually reminded him of how Rie had tried to manipte him, so Laken wasnt fooled. He squatted down, and turned his closed eyes to the little sheep.
How smart <em>are</em> you?
It backed up a step, and then tried to climb his leg innocently, begging to be picked up and held. Laken didnt like that answer. He turned to Eloise, who wasaiming a wand at amb trying toe up to her. She put the wand away as themb fled.
Could they perform some kind of duty like the dogs do? They <em>are</em> as smartsmarterthan any animals Ive met. Smarter than monkeys back home.
She nced at him and Laken recalled he hadnt told the [Witches] his big secret. He wouldperhaps only to spite Tamarothand they knew it existed, but it was one of the things he was currently waiting on. He had no idea how theyd react.
Hedag strode up, aiming a kick that missed one of thembs who <em>hopped</em> out of the way. The Hedagughed, but even herugh had an irritated edge to it.
Thats the issue we put before you, Laken-boy. And you see it clearer than most, eyes or not! They <em>might</em> work, since theyre smartre than most, but they have a weakness that makes them not worth spit.
Which is?
Laken Godart sensed Hedag lean down. She whispered the Sariant Lambs fatal w into his ear.
<em>Theyrezy.</em>
-
Two weeks had passed and the Sariants were driving Laken crazy. Riverfarms people still defended them, but they were taking up more time. They wanted special food, petting, affectionand they had begun to breed.
Theyd spawn like rabbits, and by now, Laken was sure something <em>had</em> to be done. He had sat inconversationwith one more advisor and received an amusing response.
<em>Murder them.</em>
Apparently, they got even on a certain bearded mans nerves. But that just made Laken want to object. He came upon a good solution, and an obvious one, when he entertained a rare visitor to Riverfarm.
Lord Gralton Radivaek was closer than Yitton Byres, and sometimes dropped by.
Heard you had a bunch of Sariants.
He grunted, bringing his usual armada of dogs, who were usually instantly yed with. This time? They came up to people fawning overmbs and barely got a scratch. The dogs sniffed thembs, who wiggled their noses, cuddledand promptly backed away.
<em>The [Dog Lord]s hounds werent fooled.</em> Laken nced at Radivaek, and couldnt read the mans face from his [Emperor]-senses, but got a rumbling chuckle.
Hate the buggers. I came to ask if you had a bone in the Oswen fight.
The? Oh, the border dispute with House Veltras people?
It was one of the new political events Riverfarm was now big enough to weigh in, being close-ish to the group that was feuding with the swamp-region over some kind of hunting territory dispute. Radivaek nodded.
Im on Oswens side.
About the huntingnds and the legal territory?
The [Dog Lord] gave Laken a nk stare as he tore into some meat and tossed the bones to his dogs. Laken let one climb into hisp; he liked the hound a lot more than thembs; the dogs were <em>genuine.</em> They got bored with you, they didnt act. When they wanted to y, they asked.
Who cares about whos in the right? Im on <em>Oswens</em> side because they do right by me. Was hoping youd do something.
Militarily? Economically?
Nope. Just agree Oswens right. Might tip the scales; theyd thank you.
Hm. Well, how many repercussions might that invite?
Laken wished he had Rie, or Yitton. He had learned that Gralton was far moreplex than he indicatedbut the man still liked to pick fights. Gralton, predictably, had no idea.
Maybe theyll get snotty. You have your totem-things. Listen, Oswens good people. They have great dogs. Ever seen them? Hold onI think I brought some with me. <em>Trotter! Find me Waterskip and Droplets!</em>
One of the warhounds bounded off and came back with two more dogs. Laken had <em>no idea</em> what the dogs wereonly that they were fairlyrge. His senses as an [Emperor] meant that features werent visible, so he reached out with his hands and found smooth, <em>oily</em> fur. He felt at the long dogs, their webbed feet, long tails, andughed in astonishment.
Gralton! What are these?
Otterdogs. Crossbreeds that pull Oswens water sleds. I knew youd like em.
You have Oswens breed?
Graltonughed in Lakens face. He was <em>Lord Gralton!</em> He had <em>every</em> dog breed.
The otter dogs were affectionate, yful, and as fast in water as their cousins were onnd. They had been bred with magic or something to be natural-born swamp hunters. They were delightful.
<em>A bit smelly</em>, but Laken didnt object. He had to go down to the river and see them race through the water.
Brilliant fellows. Not much use onndpared to a hound specialized for that, but Oswens got them hunting fish, pulling their water sledsysee, you shoot down game from their homes on stilts, and you send a dog out to fetch the kill. Ive visited for fun; its a great ce to rx. You should take that Durene and some of your folk and visit. Theyve got hot baths too. Unicorn horns embedded in the biggest one.
Erwillingly?
Think so. Some old pact back when you had the horned things wandering about.
Laken scratched a wet otter-dog as the liquid ran off its fur. He smiled.
You know, I like these Otterdogs a lot more than the Sariants already. I asked if youd consider selling Riverfarm more dogshow are the kennels?
Booming. Lots of puppies running about. Why, you want some dogs?
Maybe some Otterdogs? We could use some fun creatures about that dont want you to trim their hooves every two seconds.
Gralton folded his arms and thought about it.
No.
The Unseen Emperor straightened in surprise.
No? Why not?
Gralton nced around Riverfarm and shook his head.
Not enough wend. Not enough water. Maybe if you expanded to the marshes to your eastthen you can have some.
Youdont want me to pay for your dogs?
The [Dog Lord] fixed Laken with a look the [Emperor] felt. Like an aura of a beast, pressing on his. He realized Gralton was offended by the offer.
My dogs are meant to work. They need a purpose. All animals do. I wont sell them to grow fat and discontented. Ill give you more terriers and sheepdogs and the Otterdogs if you have someone needing help in the marshes. And only if you get rid of those thieving sheep. I know they eat from the dog bowls and therell be hell to pay if I find a dogs hungry.
Chastened, Laken slowly nodded. That was why he respected Gralton.
Youre right. I apologize.
Good. Now, if you want a dog that sees in the dark for your Darksky RidersIve got a new breed in
The issue of the Sariant Lambs came into relief as Gralton extended his stay. The two Otterdogs <em>did</em> eventuallye to live at Riverfarm, because Laken was nning on going into the marshes. So he asked for Waterskip and Droplets to try themselves out with one of the [Marsh Hunters] whod fled the fires, but wanted to resettle his home. Ryoka had met him on one of her runs.
As for the Sariant Lambs? Gralton was the first person to agree with Laken.
You cant just kill all of them.
<em>Thank you.</em> Ive been told to either let them parade about or to murder all of them in cold blood. What would you do?
No idea. I just run them off if I find them.
Laken covered his face. Graltonughed.
Cheer up! Maybe theres a secret power youll get from having so many. Seventy? Thats a lot! Bound to be twice that in a few months with them breeding. Nowme? I like<em>changing </em>with my hounds.
He meant his secret ability, to turn into, well, a Werewolf. Laken had been astonished to learn he could do that, although it was more like a Were<em>dog.</em> Gralton grinned at the [Emperor].
You could be half-sheep.
No thank you. I thinkits time to make the Sariants an ultimatum. I wont have them disrupting Riverfarm, and I wont kill them. If I drive them offthey might juste back, or my people will hide them.
What, then?
Laken Godart frowned. Then he realized he had another special guest, whode out of her domain to greet Griffon Hunt. They were inbound. Laken snapped his fingers.
I know just who. Excuse me, Gamel? Please bring me
-
Pebblesnatch. The Goblin [Cook] met with Gralton and Laken. She was an emissary of her people, one of the few who ever left the Goblin Lands. Usually to borrow cooking supplies or visit Nte.
She stared at Laken and the [Dog Lord], quite unimpressed by both. After all, she had beaten the [Emperor] with adle and neither forgot that.
Pebblesnatch, thank you for agreeing to meet with me. I was hoping you could take a look at Riverfarms newestpets.
Laken had Durenes Sariant Lamb in the room, but hed exiled his lover and all other busybodies except Gralton and the [Witches]. Pebblesnatch blinked at themb.
What that?
A Sariant Lamb. Its
The little sheep stared at Pebblesnatch and interrupted Laken as it came over, mewling cutely and staring up at her with huge eyes. It nuzzled the Cave Goblin, who retreated, then bent to stare at it.
Pebblesnatch had never seen a Sariant Lamb. The Sariant Lamb had never seen a Goblin.
Themb did its best. It cuddled up, sniffed at Pebblesnatch, did a little flip on its hooves, and licked at the Goblins palm. All ssics.
The Goblin felt at the soft, cuddly creature, and listened to it mewl and soothe her. She smiled. Then she sniffed themb. The Goblin experimentally opened her mouth and <em>bit</em> themb on the neck gently.
Yum. Soft. Is good meat. I get?
Themb instantly freaked out. It began wailing, and Laken covered his ears, but grinned. So did the [Witches]. Hedagughed.
It doesnt fool the Goblins stomach!
Durene was summoned to rescue hermb. Laken consulted with Pebblesnatch after the Sariant Lamb was gone.
You didnt think it was cute enough not to eat, Pebblesnatch?
The [Cook] gave the [Emperor] a narrow-eyed look, as if trying to figure out if this was a test. She shook her head in the end. Yes, the Sariants were cute, but cute didnt fill her belly.
Laken pped his hands together. Atst! A species immune to the Sariants charms!
Goblins were in the unique position of being pragmatists; unlike monsters or animals, theyd be damned if some furballs would live if they starved. And unlike civilized peoples, they didnt like the idea of wasting resources onyabouts even if they were flush with food.
He grinned as he stood. It was not a nice grin, and both Durene and the Sariant she held looked apprehensive as Laken summoned them back in. He turned to Gralton and the [Witches], and smiled.
I think I have a way to deal with the Sariants. Find themall of them. No objections. Were going to give themshock therapy.
Pebblesnatch nced up. She began thinking ofmb recipes as Durene began protesting and themb <em>squeaked</em> in horror.
-
This is the issue. Sariants cannot breed out of control. They cant <em>demand</em> to be pampered. A bit, yes, but they have to eat corn without wanting spices on it. I am willing to have them here! Just not at the expense of Riverfarms other animals. Lord Gralton has issued aint on how the dogs are being neglected.
Riverfarms people listened with dismay as Lakenid out the issue. They stared at the nervous sheep, who were under [Silence] spells. Yet they could hear Laken. He sat on his throne, in front of the mass of supplicants and thembs.
This was the weirdest throne room deliberation hed made thus far, but Laken pretended nothing was untoward about it. He leaned over the armrest of his throne and turned his head to the Sariant Lambs leader.
I am aware the Sariant Lambs are intelligent enough to be helpfulthat they chose <em>not</em> to be is their choice.
Themb tried to <em>baah</em> at Laken, but he spoke over it.
That they havent been so far is disappointing. The Sariants do seem to have a kind of charismatic power over Riverfarms peopleso Ive decided to give us a break.
Your Majesty, if the [Witches] convinced you to
Ram began hotly, but Laken spoke over the man.
<em>No one is going to kill them. </em>Be silent, Mister Ram. I am [Emperor] of Riverfarm. Not the Sariant Lambs. I do not intend to kill them. However, they will not be coddledand they will be absent. For one week. In their ce I have asked Gralton to <em>lend</em> me his dogs, to be affectionately cuddled and taken care of.
The people of Riverfarm muttered, but more dogs didnt offend most. Only the most strident dog-haters around would object to that.
Where will the Sariants go?
Laken smiled nastily. The littlembs looked like they were ready to head off to greener pastures, but Laken wasnt letting them off that easily.
Why, I have prevailed on our allies to take care of thembs. Without eating or harming them. It should be a fun week.
The Sariant Lambs looked leftthen rightthen realized who Laken meant. Pebblesnatch grinned. She smacked thedle into her wed hands and pointed to the object Gralton had given her with augh after shede up with it.
A little dog-sled. The Sariants stared in horror at the sled and Pebblesnatch.
Mush.
She pointed. They began to wail, but they were under [Silence] spells and the [Witches] herded them off. Laken ignored the objections and Graltons dogs bounded forwards, reminding the spellbound people of Riverfarm there were other things thanmbs in life.
-
In truth, Laken suspected the Goblins mostly left the Sariants alone, Pebblesnatchs fun aside. They werent actually cruel.
They might be hungry, though. But the Sariants were charming enough and even if one or two vanishedwell.
A week of shock therapy did the trick. A bunch of raggedmbs came back, with grass stains on their fur, no owners tob them or feed them on pillows; theyd had to find food, slept under the rain and lightning that a few malicious [Witches] kept conjuring, and fought off bugs, ticks, and, apparently, a really hungry giant centipede.
Laken Godart met the herd of Sariants before they were allowed back into Riverfarm. The Emperor of the Unseen Empire knelt down as thembs stopped, staring at him.
Here is my deal, Sariant Lambs. I know you can understand me. I am happy to let you eat, reproducein safe numbersand have people look after you all your lives. But not if you take up all their time. Everyone must work.
Gralton had reminded Laken of that. The [Emperor] went on.
You will want for nothing in mynds, but you will not bother the other pets. If you are <em>helpful</em>, you may stay. If you continue as you have thest few weeks? I will have to force you to leave.
The Sariants red at him. Laken smiled thinly.
Im sure you think you can persuade your owners to get you to stay, and I have no doubt theyd try to smuggle you in. Which is why if I have to exile youI will dere open season on Sariant Lambs. Not among <em>my</em> people, you understand. Ill simply let the [Witches] keep Riverfarm clean of pests as they see them.
Witch Mavika, Hedag, Eloise, Agratha, Wiskeria, and the others stood behind Laken. They stared at the littlembs and thembshesitated. Laken Godart got back up.
Lets get you to your owners. Think about what Ive said, would you?
He let them go, and turned back to Wiskeria. Laken Godart rubbed at his forehead.
This is so stupid.
He walked off and went to sleep to put an end to this debacle once and for all. Butwell.
The world had thestugh.
[Natural Allies: Sariant Lamb obtained!]
[Pact: The Hard-Working Lamb (Sariant) obtained!]
-
The next day, Laken Godart followed somembs around in his head. They helped tidy up the houses, nuzzled their owners, theny down to sleep. A few followed their owners to work, and in general,zed about.
I suppose thats as hard-working as a Sariant Lamb gets. But theyre not demanding attention or pampering.
You actually struck a deal with Sariant Lambs?
Wiskeria tried not tough over breakfast. The [Emperor] regarded her, in his minds eye. For the daughter of Bvierr, she clearly found this normal, if funny. He shook his head, resigned.
I dont know what I find more offensive. The fact that I can strike a pact with Sariant Lambs, the fact that <em>they</em> are Riverfarms natural allyor that the Skill isnt new. Someones done this before.
Wiskeria just shrugged.
As long as you have the deal, well abide.
Laken Godart nodded and sighed. More of Graltons dogs had gone to stay, but the Sariant Lambhe sat up and cursed.
<em>No! Absolutely not! Wiskeria, get Hedag and her axe!</em>
He shot to his feet, but it was toote. The growing empire of Riverfarm had fought over the seventymbs. The empire, already into the tens of thousands, would not have to anymore.
Over the next three days, six more Sariant Lamb herds converged on Riverfarm. Laken Godart, the [Emperor] ofmbs, decided to spend more time with Bismarck and Frostwing. Mossbears. Now, why couldnt it have been Mossbears?
[Emperor Level 25!]
[Empire: Will of the Beasts obtained!]
-
Pets across the world. Useful and useless.
Pets, not Healing Slimes or skeletons. Petsanimals who had a unique rtionship with their owners.
Like the Fortress Beavers of The Wandering Innthey werent <em>pets. </em>Not exactly. They had been left behind, abandoned the [Garden of Sanctuary]. They were Defenders of the Cave, and the pond, however lovely a retreat, was simply too small for them.
Animals needed to work. The inn was abandoned by even the animals. Selys Shivertail did have a reason to appreciate the Fortress Beavers.
She stared at the groaning [Thief] who had been after the Heartme Breastte, still breathing heavily. It hadnt even been in her apartments; it was always on lease, but idiot [Thieves] didnt know that.
The Fortress Beavers sat on the Drake who had sixteen broken bones. Somehow, they had snuck into her apartment and then proceeded to rescue her. It turned out a knife might threaten a Drakebut not a Fortress Beaver whose fur was so powerful, Mrsha had a <em>Skill</em> based on it.
<em>Fortress Beavers,</em> the beavers who could build dams so impressive they stopped entire rivers. The same beavers who had once dammed up a river with a fortification so impressive that two hundred Drakes had failed to dislodge them and been beaten back by the den, hence the name.
Selys was going to buy a big house with a water feature for them. She watched as Beaver Gang pped their tails, giving the bemused Watch a side-eye.
But they werent pets. The Defenders of the Cave were separate from The Wandering Inns only true pet. She buzzed along, intelligent, but still someones beloved animal. Selys realizedshe hadnt seen Apista. Nor would she find the bee when she went to check the next day.
Not in the [Garden of Sanctuary]. Not in the inn, tending to her hidden little honey nest. Nor about the inn, on the flower-hill. Apista was nowhere to be found, because she had left the inn.
They all had. The brave and foolish, leaving home to rescue that silly little Gnoll. The bee buzzed along, determinedly keeping up, avoiding the Gnoll [Sergeant] who kept swatting at her.
Are you <em>sure</em> that things part of the inn? Its got a stinger longer than my finger!
Sergeant Gna pointed at Apista. The bee did a barrel roll past her face. But she wasnt high. There was no time for hedonism. Her little white creature was gone! <em>Her</em> pet, who fed her things. Apista had to get it back or Lyte would be heartbroken.
The faithful bee buzzed ahead, ignored by most of the others. Octavia, fiddling with her supplies, ill-at-ease on the horse, Fierre with an umbre, Fals and Garia, jogging along, Antinium, Goblins
Only one of them nced back at Apista and realized the bee meant business. Apista was angry. She was furious. She buzzed, a bee asrge as your hand. Her dark stinger was poised and she was no one sting bee. She was a princess of bees!
<em>She had been taking it too easy. Sittingcent in the inn. That time was over. Someone had stolen Mrsha. That stupid hat-thing had hurt her. </em>
It was time for the world to see Apistas true form. Training wings off. She had to unleash her <em>full potential.</em>
The others mocked her, or tried to shoo her back to the inn. They didnt understand. Apista wasnt the weak one here. That was probablyuhsomeone else!
It was Ulvama, the lone experienced spellcaster of the group who did a double-take and eyed Apista warily. She rode forwards and nudged Numbtongue, who was riding ahead, eyes set on the road.
Hey. You see that? What <em>that?</em>
She pointed warily at Apista. Numbtongue nced back, irritatedthen frowned. Both Hobgoblins <em>peered</em> at the Ashfire Bee. Apista gave them a salute with one antennae.
<em>Thats right. Fly wary, Im packing real heat.</em>
Ulvama leaned back as Apista buzzed past her face. She stared at the tip of the bees stinger. The <em>glittering</em> tip that caught the light. Her jaw dropped as she recognized what it was.
The Naq-Alrama needle glittered on the tip of Apistas stinger. Apista had tried to glue the fragment of needle with beeswax to her stinger until shed identally jabbed it in frustration. It had lodged in the already-<em>sharp</em> queen-bee stinger, and the tip of it poked out. Apista had decided it was an upgrade. She <em>buzzed</em> angrily as she scouted for someone to poke.
Oh boy, she was going to <em>sting </em>someone in the eye with this.
The most dangerous, anti-[Mage] bee in the world buzzed ahead.
After her beloved little friend.
<strong>Authors Note: </strong>I am done! And Im on break for two weeks.
Im about to fly off, so this might be up tonightor I have to figure out how to send it on-the-go. You see, Im taking a longer break, which I feel bad aboutbut Ill be on vacation!
Also, Im dying. Of exhaustion, nothing else. I could really use a longer break, so Ill take it in order to write better. Ill be back in two weeksnot three!
Someday, I will take a three-week break. When I visit London or something, next year. Hint: Im not from London. I know I fool you with my amazing ents and characterization of Trey and Teres
Im rambling, Im tired, and this was a short chapter for once! Stillstill 16,000 words. Ill see you after some rest, and try to get that revised chapter out by the time Im back. But it really is good to have a travelling vacation. I think. Well see how recharged I amter! Thanks for reading and rememberdont leave your pets behind. Theyll rise up.
See youter!
<strong>Maid Erin by Sedeto!</strong>
<strong>Twitter: /Sedeto</strong>
<strong></strong>
<strong><b>A Frying Pan received by Andrea Parsneau, narrator of The Wandering Inn!</b></strong>
<strong><strong>Twitter: /mouthymaven</strong></strong><strong><strong>
<strong>Discord Server:</strong> https://discord.gg/sqKzd5N
<strong>Horns of Hammerad Sketches by /pencilpineart</strong>
<strong></strong></strong></strong>