Chapter 23


    Belle''s POV


    The days have passed in a suffocating blur. It''s like my world took a halt while everything around me


    went on living. Thest words of Niki keep oning back over and over again. I have been living


    in a lie with Niki. I fell in love with a person who has been ying me. He''s right I was easy. I''m


    stupid. I was nothing but a stranger to him.


    I have stayed in my room and in my bed for three days. I have decided to leave this ce. I disposed


    the phone Niki gave me and anything that could remind me of him. I have already talked to my


    Thomas did not ept my resignation but he gave me time to think about it. He told me I can take a


    few weeks off if I want to.


    Têxt ? N?velDrama.Org.


    I have nowhere to go to and no one to be with. Dn hates me, Sawyer is gone, and my family and


    bestfriend are a thousand miles away. I''m all alone, heartbroken and close to being broke. I had to pay


    up thendy for the early unteral termination of my lease. I don''t want to ask my parents for


    support because I know they will just convince me to go back home. I have already called a motel for


    my temporary ce. I''m at my front porch just waiting for the cab to arrive. The air is kind of chilly just


    like the first time I arrived here. I was happy, content and a whole person back then. Now I can''t even


    find the right words to describe who or what I am.


    The cab arrived a few minutester. While the driver ces my bags in the trunk, I looked at my door


    for onest time. My poor door. So many memories and so many lies.


    I turn around and nced at Niki''s house. I spent most of my time there, in his room, apparently that


    did not mean a single thing. It was all part of Niki''s y. I blinked twice and run the back of my hand


    on my eyes to remove the tears that are threatening to fall.


    ~


    I arrived at the motel. I have heard gross stories, about motels but I would rather stay in this disgusting


    ce than be reminded of Niki every single time back in my apartment.


    The old man holding a cat gave me the key to my room. He looked at me nkly while handing me the


    key. This ce is sad and dusty. The whole atmosphere of the motel looks like rats and other


    pestilence that god has sent to mankind can live here. It''s a two story old building. Few lights are on.


    The whole ce smells like cigarette smoke. My room is at the corner most part of the building. When I


    entered inside my room, I''m kind of surprised to see a decent looking bed with white sheets, windows,


    a thin white curtain and a small closet.


    I ced my luggage beside the bed. I grabbed my own sheets from my bag and ce it over the


    existing sheets. I''m not going to remove my things from my bag because I don''t intend to stay here that


    long. As soon as I find another job, I''m going to look for my own apartment and start anew. The money


    I have in my bank ount would be enough for the payment in the motel for at least a month.


    I bought cup noodles from a convenience store across the street. I have not eaten a decent meal in


    days but I still don''t feel like putting this food in my mouth. You have to eat Belle. You need to eat so


    you will have the strength to find another job, drown yourself in work so you will forget the pain.


    I forced myself to finish my food. I brushed my teeth and washed my face. I look myself in the mirror.


    No one ising for you Belle. It''s just you now. This is exactly what you want right? Freedom? Now


    you have it. Think of Niki as a detour. A bad turn. You lost focus. Now it''s time to go back on track.


    I wandered on the streets near the motel hoping to find another job. After several blocks of walking my


    legs are getting weak again. Please legs cooperate with me. Don''t do this to me. I sat on a sidewalk


    chair to rest and just as I am about to give up, I see across the street a small bookstore with a wanted


    help sign on the door.


    I massaged my legs for a few seconds and then walked towards the bookstore. When I opened the


    door, a bell rang. I entered and took the sign from the door. The bookstore is just small, it has fourrge


    wooden stalls with at least eight racks each. The bookstore is selling mostly vintage books and vinyl


    records. I approached the counter but it seems like no one is here.


    "Hello?" I called out.


    Suddenly, someone from below the counter stood up. It looks like he''s been stacking up books from the


    floor. He''s a stout old man. His sses are on top of his nose and his hairline is way back his head.


    "Oh Dear I am so sorry, these books have been lying around for days. My grandson has bailed on me a


    couple of times. Young men these days don''t know how to value the importance of... oh I''m so sorry


    dear what can I do for you?"


    Suddenly he held his back like he''s in pain.


    "Are you okay sir?"


    I quickly went behind the counter to assist him towards the chair.


    "Oh yeh yeh, it''s just my back. I''m an old man what can I say. Anyway, what can do for you?" He then


    saw the sign I am holding in my hand.


    "Oh dear, I do apologize but I will be honest to you, honesty is quite rare these days don''t you think?"


    You have no idea.


    "Well what I''m looking for is, uh, how will I say this to not sound discriminating." The old man ced his


    index finger on his lips like he''s thinking of something. "Well, I''m looking for a man. You know to move


    the books from one rack to another, inventory stocks and such and such, you get it don''t you?"


    I acted hurt and ced my right hand on my chest.


    "Well sir, you have deeply hurt my feelings and what you have just said is a disservice to all the


    magnificent women like Marie Curie, Edith Wharton, Elizabeth ckwell, Sacajawea, not to mention


    your own wife and mother. How could you sir." I then gave him a wink.


    The old manughed so hard it boomed all over his small shop.


    "I can carry books from one rack to another just fine, I''m good at inventory as well, numbers and


    organization is just easy pizzy for me." I gave him the sweetest smile that I could give considering my


    circumstance.


    "Very well...."


    I did not even let him finish. "Thank you very much you will not regret this sir." I quickly gathered the


    books from the floor.


    "Call me David."


    "Hello David, my name is......Mary. Where do I ce these?"


    "Over there Mary, the second rack to your right." I quickly turn my back from David because I can feel


    my tears are threatening to fall. Pretending to be fine when deep inside my heart is slowly dying is not


    as easy as I thought it would be. I wipe my tears off in between cing the books one by one.


    ~


    I''m back at the motel room. I ate a piece of bread for dinner. It tasted like paper.


    Iy in bed in fetal position. It''s like every move I make I see Niki''s face and his beautiful green


    eyes. When we were together, everything felt so true. I saw it in his eyes. It turned out, behind those


    eyes were dark and nk emotions. I pinch myself so hard hoping that what happened was all just a


    bad dream. But it''s not.


    ~


    I drowned myself in work. Every day since I started working at David''s shop I made sure that I got so


    tired that whenever I get back to the motel I''m already exhausted to even eat or cry. Every day for the


    past three weeks my life has been close to hell.


    "Mary, time for lunch dear."


    "Yah, you go ahead David. I''m still not hungry."


    "You have been here since seven in the morning, I don''t think you even ate breakfast. It''s past twelve


    already." David looked sincerely worried. I then ced the books back on the floor and joined him for


    lunch at a bar across the street.


    He ordered his vegetarian te while I ordered a sandwich.


    "Is that all you''re having?"


    "Yes David, I told you I''m not hungry." David takes a look at my sandwich and looks at me.


    "What happened dear? Why are punishing yourself?"


    David sees right through me. I know that he has been wanting to ask me this but I did not give him the


    chance. Whenever I felt that he''s going to ask about my personal life I stayed away and avoided having


    long conversations with him.


    "Nothing really David. I told you that you will not regret hiring me. I''m just proving it to you."


    "Yes indeed you have proven yourself exceptionally. I even think that I''m underpaying you. I''m just


    worried that yound in the hospital."


    "Don''t worry about me, I''m perfectly fine." I gave him a faint smile. I''m not fine David, I''m dead inside.


    David eventually got tired of asking me questions. We ate in peace for a few minutes then we went


    back to his shop.