So maybe Ivan hates me and not once did he look at me as a wife it was because of me so everything was ruined with him. By the way, I just continued to leave him. To make her happy, she and Lara.


    I slowly closed my eyes. My eyes were tired of crying so much. I don’t want to …


    ~ ~


    “Mommy … wake up. Mommy …” I heard Ice say as she patted my cheek.


    I slowly opened my eyes and saw him smiling at me. I smiled a little, right now my son was all I have. Ever since he was born, my life revolves around him, except for Ivan.


    I slowly sat up in bed and removed the handkerchief from my forehead. Ice handed me a thermometer so I frowned at her.


    “Dad wants to know your temperature.” Ice replied.


    I just leaned over and put the thermometer in my right underarm. A few minutester it rang and I looked at the temperature, 38. 5  I have a fairly high fever.


    I handed the thermometer to Ice and told her toe out first so I let her. I picked up my phone from the side table and saw that Mom had a text message.


    From: MomContent from N?velDr(a)ma.Org.


    -Rige, Ivan told me that you didn’t eat your breakfast and lunch that’s why you’re sick. were you fine?


    -end-


    I took a deep breath and typed a reply.


    To: Mom


    -I’m fine now, Mom. I’ll visit you tomorrow. By the way, where were you? were you and Dad at home yet?


    -end-


    I waited for Mom to reply but five minutester I didn’t receive a reply so I turned off my phone first. I got up and put on my slippers then walked towards the veranda.


    I looked at the sky and it was going to be night. I was grabbed by my arm when it blew hard, very cold.


    After a while I went back to bed andy down. I doubled the nket I was using because I was getting cold.


    I identally caught sight of Ivan and I’s wedding picture that was framed and hung on the wall. I thought it was gone because when I delivered it here at home, Ivan just took it and said he would throw it away.


    I looked at the photo and saw how sweet my smile was while Ivan was just smiling sparingly. And at least, he made an effort to smile there even a little bit.


    I was so happy then because I married the man I wanted, wasn’t. I have been married to the man I have loved since we were children.


    Maybe he doesn’t remember anymore. I was his child that he rescued in a car that was supposed to run over me. Fortunately, he overtook me immediately. I am Re and he was VanVan. We couldn’t pronounce each other’s names properly before so that’s what we called each other.


    We were very close then, just in case Mom and I left for America because of Dad’s cheating on her. I couldn’t even say goodbye to Ivan then. In my first year of college, he became my schoolmate, so I fell in love with him even more and reached the point where I fell in love with him.


    But I can’t be the only one who was happy, he must be too. Maybe, I need to do the right thing.


    My memory of the past was shattered when there was a knock on the door. I got up and sat on the bed. I was about to get up and open the door when it suddenly opened.


    Ivan was then thrown holding a tray with only food while Ice was smiling at me. They approached me and sat down next to the bed. Ivan set the tray down in front of me. I saw the rice on the te, tin on the te, a ss of milk and water and then a pill of medicine that was the same as the medicine I had taken before.


    I looked at Ivan and he only smiled slightly.


    “Mom, me and dad cooked that for you!” Ice said cheerfully so I looked up and smiled.


    I mouthed ‘thank you” at him and then at Ivan. Ivan was a little surprised but he immediately smiled at me as well.


    I just ate quietly and then I took the medicine. Ivan took the tray and said that it would be put away and that he would take Ice to the room.


    Iy down on the bed again and stared at the ceiling. Some timeter I heard the door open and close. I looked at Ivan who was wearing a white T-shirt and pajamas.


    I sighed as he leaned over me and adjusted my nket. Hey down properly and closed his eyes.


    I took a deep breath. This was maybe the time. “Ivan …”


    He opened his eyes and looked at me. “Why? Do you need anything?”


    I shuddered and felt tears trickle down my left eye. “Ivan … let’s … let’s file an annulment.” I said the reason for his eyes to widen at the same time as the parting of his lips.


    Rige’s POV


    “Ivan … let’s … let’s file an annulment.”


    Ivan sat up in bed and stared at me in shock. I could see a mixture of astonishment and shock in his eyes. He shook his head and cast a series of spells.


    I slowly sat up in bed and smiled at him even though I was already in tears. This time, I will think of him and not myself. This time, I want him to be happy that I am the reason. This time, I want … him to fulfill his mother’s longing for my release.


    I wiped away my tears and forced a smile. It hurts me but, I realize we can’t really do it anymore. He will never be able to love me because he loves Lara so much more than I expected.


    Slowly his forehead furrowed and his mouth opened. I noticed he wanted to speak but no voice came out of his mouth.


    I slowly raised one hand and stroked his cheek. This was the first time I can … not literally but, this was the first time I will touch his cheek in an emotional event.


    My weak sobs were disappearing but I still try to smile. I could hardly see his face because my eyes were already dimming because of my tears.


    I don’t know but, my mouth opened spontaneously and spoke.


    “A … Do you know you’re my first love?” I asked her with a smile and I saw the part of her lip.


    I sniffed and spoke again and continued to caress his cheek. “Since we were kids, I’ve wanted you. It’s also possible that … since we were kids, I’ve loved you …”


    I like, he also knows something about me because I already know something about him.


    “When … when I found out I was carrying your child in my womb, I was probably the happiest woman in the world because … we already have a child of the person I love …” I sobbed but still tried I smile.