Chapter 152


    Chapter One Hundred Fifty-Two


    Sephie


    Misha disappeared for a bit, keeping Andrei busy for me as well, so that I could have a little time with


    Ivan. I was hoping he would want to talk about what he sees when he’s stuck in his memories. I was


    still trying to figure out the right thing to say to him to break him out of the loop, so he could sleep


    peacefully.


    Ivan walked in from the back patio. I was the only one on the couches, so he stretched out next to me.


    “You still look tired,” he said. He looked apologetic.


    “You do too, Squishy. You’re also the one that needs the sleep more than I do at this moment, too.”


    He thought for a moment, staring at the ceiling. He sighed. “I’ll be okay. I can usually get a handle on it


    after a couple of days.”


    “Do you want to tell me what you see when it happens? I’m still trying to figure out the right thing to say


    to you that will break you out of itpletely, like Adrik did for me. I can keep you quiet for a while, but


    I can’t seem to break you out of itpletely. You’re not helping my self-esteem issues, for the record.”


    I gave him a half-smile, so he would know I was mostly joking. It really was bothering me that I couldn’t


    seem to break him out of the prison of his mindpletely.


    He was quiet for a few minutes. He looked at me. “Where’s Misha and Andrei?”


    “They went outside to talk to the guards.”


    He nodded. “Before you, I would see the doctor that used to torture me. It’s always him that I’m fighting.


    It doesn’t matter who’s actually in front of me, I can only see that as shole doctor and hear his voice in


    my head. That’s why it takes all of them to hold me down. I’m determined to ki ll him each time. But he


    alwayses back, no matter what I do. He alwayses back.”


    I gave him a knowing look. My uncle had been living in my head for years now.


    “But when you talk to me, he disappears. I can hear your voice every time and everything fades to


    ck. I can’t see anything, but I can clearly hear your voice. If your voice disappears, the doctores


    back.”


    I shivered. I remembered the void I was in. “Can you see your own body, but nothing else? Like you’re


    swimming in the ckness?”


    He nodded, somewhat surprised. “It happened to you loo?”


    “Adrik’s voice pulled me there, out of the loop from the ball. Or that night…with my uncle. I could hear


    my uncle’s voice there for a while, until I finally let myself remember everything from that night.” I


    looked at him, apprehensively.


    “He told me what you did that night, Sephle.” He smiled. “I told him that I had thought your beast mode


    was activated when you shot that guy in the face, but it turns out your beast mode has always been


    activated.” He winked at me.


    I gave him a small smile. “I still don’t feel any remorse over it. I think I might be a monster for it, but I


    feel nothing when I think about what I did.”


    not a monster, princess. You saved yourself. You proved to yourself that you can get yourself out of any


    Not everyone would’ve made it out of that house alive that night.” He sat up and


    toe out of me breaking out of the facility was in. 1 proved to myse


    I looked at him,ughing. “Sériously. Death is obsessed with us. Like, give it a rest, bro. I’m


    embarrassed for you.”


    Heughed. He pulled me toward him and hugged me. “You have no idea what yourugh does for


    me, princess.”


    I raised my eyebrow. “Please tell me it’s not like fingernails on a chalk board for you.”


    Heughed again. “No, the opposite, really. I think part of the reason that it takes me days to get over a


    trip to the doctor is that I inevitably end up in the darkness. I like it there, Sephie. It’s quiet. It’s calm. I


    find myself wanting to stay there.” He paused, inhaling deeply. “I’m tired of fighting sometimes. I know if


    I decide to stay, there’s noing back. Yourugh gives me a reason toe back. You radiate joy


    when youugh and smile. It’s a reminder that I can keep going.”


    I didn’t even try to hold back the tears that were streaming down my face at his words. I curled up next


    to him, pulling his good arm around my shoulders, my head on his shoulder. “Ivan, I understand. I


    understand the tired. I understand not wanting toe back. But I need you. If you ever can’t find a


    reason toe back for yourself, then know that I need you here. I will always need you here.”


    Fle didn’t say anything, but I felt him lean down and kiss the top of my head as he held me a little


    tighter. We sat in silence for a few minutes. I remembered Misha’s n to help him get some sleep


    without needing me to babysit him. “What aboutst night when you were listening to me ying at the


    gallery? What happened then?”


    “It was basically the same as hearing your voice. As long as I could hear you ying, I stayed in the


    darkness. It was nice, actually. But when the music stopped, the doctor came back, same as when I


    lose your voice.”


    ??


    “So, you think if we made a longer recording or like a ylist of nie ying, you could sleep for


    longer?”


    “I don’t see why not. It workedst night until the phone died.”


    “Yeah, that was my bad. I don’t know why I didn’t think about plugging the st upid phone in.” I said.


    He chuckled. “You’re sleep-deprived because you’ve been trying to take care of me, princess. It was


    still a good idea.”


    “I will happily take care of you, if it means you heal faster. Your one-armed hugs su ck,” I said, poking


    him in the ribs. “Do you know what happened to the facility? Like, is it still there?”


    “I don’t know. I tried to investigate it a few years ago, but I kept running into dead ends. I think it was a


    top-secret level operation, so there’s not much information on it avable. There were a lot of boys


    there still when I broke out. I sometimes wonder what happened to them. There was one nurse that I


    would talk to. I sometimes wonder what happened to her too.”


    “Can you remember her name?”


    “I don’t need to. I stale her key card to get out. I still have it,” he said:


    “Have you tried looking her up?”


    He shook his head no. “I thought about it, but I was too scared. She was the only one that was ever


    nice to me. I don’t know if I could handle knowing that something happened to her because I took


    advantage of her niceness and stole her card to get out.” Text ? 2024 N?velDrama.Org.


    “That’s fair. But don’t forget that she was choosing to work there. Day after day, knowing what was


    happening there. She’s your Max. You’re ignoring her red gs because she was all you had at the


    time.”


    He was quiet for a moment, then pulled me closer to him. He kissed the top of my head again.


    “Sometimes I ha te it when you use my advice on me. I ha te it even more that you’re right.”


    Iughed. “It’s good advice. Fcan’t keep it all to myself.”