Chapter 85


    After training and lunch, the alliance met at Xandar’s vi. They gathered in the King’s huge study, and


    the cousins got spare chairs and a foldable table out of the basement. Theyid the report on the round


    table, and Toby and Sylvia offered to take notes while they discussed, reading through the report again


    together to see if their thoughts matched those of everyone around them.


    Xandar noticed that Lucianne was checking the time every few minutes but he didn’t think much of it until


    her phone chimed in between their discussions. Lucianne stood from her seat as she said, “I have to go


    now. My ride’s here. I’ll see you guys in the dining hall tonight.”


    Xandar reflexively held onto her elbow and asked frantically, “What ride?”


    She furrowed her eyebrows in confusion at his question as she replied matter-of-factly, “The ridet o take


    me to tea.”


    “What tea?” Xandar asked in jealousy as he thought to himself, ‘Who is she meeting with? Does she


    have eyes for someone else? Someone better? WHO IS HE?!!’


    Lucianne finally understood that Xandar forgot about who she was meeting. She smiled teasingly at her


    mate, and kissed him on his cheek before she said, “The tea with Annie, my indecent beast. Who else?”


    This belongs to N?velDrama.Org - ?.


    “Oh.”Xandar rxed before muttering to himself, “Right. That’s today.”


    Christian chuckled at his cousin’s overreaction and said, “Let the Queen go now, cuz. My wife isn’t going


    to steal her away from you.” The wolves around the table were already chuckling as subtly a s they


    could.


    It was only then Xandar realised that he was still holding onto his mate’s elbow like his life depended on


    it. He pulled her towards him to peck on her lips before uttering, “Link me if you need anything. And be


    safe, okay?” She blushed and nodded dotingly. The alliance members were throwing cheeky smirks in


    Lucianne’s way as she left the room.


    Xandar’s eyes followed her out, and when they heard the front door shutting, Christian nced at his


    cousin before saying, “Everyone, let’s see if the King focuses better with or without the Queen here.”


    Zelena’s eyes sparkled with excitement as she eximed, “We should ce bets!”


    Xandar turned to his cousin and asked in a low, embarrassed tone, “Is this really necessary, Christian?”


    Disregarding what the King just said, Toby got the ball rolling, “I’m betting with.”


    Juan continued, “With.” Xandar threw Juan a look of disbelief but the usually-serious Alpha didn’t seem


    affected as he threw the King a cheeky smirk.


    Zeke then yelled out, “I’m betting without.”


    They went around the table until everyone ced their bets, leaving their King flustered.


    When Lucianne opened the car door to the passenger’s seat, a familiar voice called out, “Aunt Lucy!”


    “Russell? You came?” Lucianne asked in surprise at the little boy seated at the back with a safety belt


    fastened across his chest. Lucianne then turned towards Annie for an exnation.


    Annie exined, “When he knew I was meeting you today, he didn’t stop asking if he coulde along


    until I said yes.”


    “Aww. That’s so sweet of you, Russell.” Lucianne said as she got in and closed the door behind her.


    As Annie drove them to the cafe she had in mind, Lucianne asked about the families living with them,


    and Annie admitted that they were getting kind of bored, so much so that they offered to help the kitchen


    staff with the cooking.


    When they entered the cafe and took a seat at their reserved table, the waiter took their orders before


    getting Russell a high chair so that he could build his next contraption on the table.


    Annie then started their conversation, “So, Lucy. I asked to meet you because I wanted to know:h how


    do you do it? How do you… get on with life and…be okay after…well, after everything that has happened


    to you?”


    Lucianne was a little confused, “Do you mean the five rejections, Annie?”


    “Well, it’s not just that. You weren’t affected when G-Greg said… those condescending things to you. And


    even the other night, Christian said you were harassed by a ministerst year, and yet you don’t seem


    afraid.”


    “I’m not.”


    “But how? How do you find the power to stand back up again? I mean, you’ve taken quite a lot of hits.


    Christian keeps saying that Xandar’s biggest worry now is life throwing more things at you than it already


    has. Yet you seem okay. Better than okay, actually.”


    Lucianne thought about her question before saying, “Well, I didn’t want to stay where I was. I didn’t want


    to stay sad, depressed and afraid. I was afraid of getting up and facing situations that would make me


    question myself again but I was more afraid of staying afraid. At least, if I tried to stand back up, I’d


    actually get a chance at freedom from everything that was weighing me down. That was all I was going


    for, to be honest, a chance at freedom.”


    Annie digested what she said as she took a sip of hertte. After a moment, the Duchess asked,” But


    don’t you get tired of doing it over and over again, Lucy?”


    Lucianne smiled as she recalled the night she broke down with Xandar after meeting the Kyltons. “I do.


    But the chance to be free and happy always seems tempting so I always chose to get back up, despite


    my pessimism.”


    “How do you hold yourself together when people try to bring you down? And you’re even able to shut


    them up. That must require a lot of skill.”


    “It doesn’t, really. Through the years, I learned that the best way to… put certain people in their ce is


    by showing them that they can’t push my buttons, even if I’m breaking on the inside. It


    takes time and practice but eventually, anyone can get the hang of it.”


    “So, when you break on the inside, you just hold it there and then breakdown when no one’s watching?”


    Annie asked, saddened by what she was hearing.


    Lucianne said matter-of-factly, “Yeah, I’ve cried to myself behind more closed doors than I can. count.


    But the most recent time, Xandar was with me.”


    Annie asked in a shocked, hushed voice, “You broke down recently? Are you okay, Lucy?” Even Russell


    stopped ying and looked up at her in concern.


    Lucianne chuckled lightly, and her hand started stroking the little boy’s hair as she told the Duchess, “I’m


    okay, Annie. It’s normal for me. I’m not perfect. I put on a strong front, a brave face but I do get hurt too.


    I’d be lying if I said that I’m not affected by the five rejections. I moved on from them but uh… I still


    struggle with the feelings of inadequacy and unworthiness sometimes. It doesn’t really go away. It just


    bes manageable.”


    “How do you manage it, though?” Annie asked in curiosity.


    “Well, I tell myself that so long as I’m still here, that the Moon Goddess is still keeping me alive, there


    must be some level of worth in me. There must be something I have to do, some way that I can help.


    And I do everything I can. At first it was to fill the hole in my heart but as I progressed in training and


    formed alliances, I realised that it was also to make me happy and to give me a sense of fulfillment.”


    Annie nodded, and she took another sip as she thought about what Lucianne said. Lucianne then asked,


    “Annie, if you don’t mind me asking, what is this about? Is everything okay with you?”