Chapter 113


    I head upstairs to change, wanting out of these clothes and back into myfortable ones. Assuming


    James woulde to see me, I''m not surprised when hees through my bedroom door. I quickly


    pull on my shirt when I hear him, leaving the bathroom to find him sitting on the bed. I have to know his


    thoughts on the dinner before I rant about his father''s words, so I''m relieved when he says, "I''m sorry


    about him. I didn''t think he''d go so far."


    I drift towards him, not feeling fiery anymore. "I didn''t think he would, either. I didn''t think the entire


    dinner was going to be a lesson in everything I''m doing wrong."


    "We both know he''s justparing you to my mother, trying to make you the anti-her."


    James nces up at me as I sit down. "Well, I don''t want to worry about it. He''s gone anyway."


    James looks away. "He''s not leaving. He''s actually very adamant about staying until he knows that


    we''re doing a good job." He notices my sudden shock and is quick to blow out my me. "Don''t worry,


    I''m going to talk with him tomorrow and tell him that he can''t stay. I''m going to tell him that he needs to


    go home and let me do my job.”


    "You know he meant only me. He needs to make sure I''m doing a good job," I say,pletely


    Content is property ? N?velDrama.Org.


    annoyed. "You need to stand up to him."


    "I am," James assures me, cing his hand on my thigh, "he''s not going to be a problem, okay?"


    "Okay," I say softly, cing my hand on top of his, thinking back to my thoughts earlier. Should I ask


    him about it, or will I just make a fool out of myself? I''m tired of being embarrassed but I want to be


    open with him. Just thinking about it makes me restless. Those times when I''d sneak into his bedroom


    andy on his bed are fresh in my mind. Back then it took only his scent to send me into a frenzy, and


    I''ve learned to control myself, so I wonder if James has done the same. "When your father brought up


    rushing into having children... Is that why you''re so hesitant? You don''t want to worry about having


    children too soon? Because we both know there''s an obvious fix to—"


    "No, Rae, that''s not the reason," he says, giving into the conversation.


    "Then will you tell me what is?" I ask gently, carefully so he doesn''t feel pressured to hide the truth.


    James takes in a breath as if he''s preparing to open up. I scoot closer, grabbing his hand and giving


    him an encouraging look. It feels odd holding an Alphas hand and encouraging him to tell me what he''s


    really thinking, but when I remind myself that he is also my mate, it makes sense again. "You''re so


    good, Rae," he murmurs, gazing into my eyes and bringing me towards some trance. "You''re good and


    pure and caring and forgiving, and I can''t bring myself to have you when I don''t deserve you. I can''t be


    with you after I''ve been so unfaithful to our bond."


    "You''re right. You were unfaithful. You didn''t deserve me, not in the slightest. But that''s all in the past,


    James. You''re a different person now, someone I know I can trust. You care about me, I see that, I see


    that you''ve changed. You need me, you keep me safe, you make sure that I''m okay, you deserve me


    now. I don''t want to hear you say otherwise when I know it''s not true. I''m telling you this, and that''s all


    that matters. I forgive you for being unfaithful, okay?" He shifts away. "James, I forgive you."


    "You shouldn''t."


    I grab his arm. "Well, I am. I''m forgiving you and you have to forgive yourself."


    He looks at me closely. "What I did is unforgivable."


    "Don''t say that. What do I have to do? Do I have to be with someone else to make it even? Is that what


    you want?" He immediately tenses. Inpatient and tired of it, I bring my hand to his face, holding his jaw


    so he can''t look away from me. "I forgive you. Do you forgive me for doing what I did that night?"


    "I do," he says, grabbing my arm, bringing my hand down, but I don''t want to let go of him so I keep my


    grasp on his shoulder.


    "I forgive myself for doing what I did. Now can you please, for me, at least try to forgive yourself for


    doing what you did?"


    James seems to rx under my touch. He leans into me and holds me against his chest, his hand


    gripping my shirt while the other holds tightly. "I will," he breathes out, "for you. You mean everything to


    me. You scared me, Rae. I was so afraid of losing you." His grip tightens and I feel myself getting


    emotional. "I''m sorry that I made you feel controlled or babied, I''m just worried about you. I can''t lose


    you."


    Tears well in my eyes, and I hold him back, grasping to him as if he''s going to fall. "I''m sorry that I did


    that to you," I mumble. "Especially after what happened with your mother. I was unbelievably cruel." We


    stay like this for a moment, embracing each other until James pulls away, but he doesn''t let go of me.


    "All I wanted was to be close to you, James. I feel close now."


    He gives me a passionate, hard kiss, his arms still holding me close. "I''ve always wanted you. I''ve


    wanted you from the moment I saw you."


    "You can have me," I whisper.


    "Rae—"


    "I know you feel guilty, but I like being only for you. I only want to be for you. No one else can have me


    but you, and I know you like it too." He gives me an intense look. "I can''t be anyone else''s, I don''t want


    to be anyone else''s, so you may as well make me yours in every way." My hand lightly touches the spot


    where my neck and shoulder meet, the ce where an Alphays his mark.


    James runs his hand down my shoulder. "You''re not of Alpha Blood. It will hurt."


    "I don''t care," I breathe out, watching as he nears the spot. I hold my breath and squeeze my eyes


    shut, feeling his hold tighten on my arm as his other hand grabs mine. I rest my head on his shoulder


    and feel him lightly kiss my skin before his teeth press against me. I feel them grow and sharpen, his


    canine teeth now exposed. My heart races relentlessly as he tightens his hold on me even more,


    wondering how bad it will hurt.


    He kisses my skin one more time before I feel the sudden and intense pain of his teeth burying into me.


    I flinch and yelp, my hand roughly squeezing his. I whimper as he lets go, making it all quick for my


    benefit. I take a deep breath and try to block out the throbbing, but it surprisingly fades away as James


    kisses the spot again. I rx as he takes the pain away, resting against him. He says against me, "Are


    you okay?"


    I nod, reassuring him as he moves away.


    "You''re bleeding a bit," he tells me, but the overwhelming feeling of wholeness inside of me makes it


    hard to focus.


    "I''m okay," I mumble, my heart being stuffed with love.


    James asks, "In every way?"


    I feel his hands run up my thighs, lighting a fire inside of me. "In every way."