Chapter 74


    In the morning, Alpha Grant is gone, so I leave my bedroom and head to the kitchen for breakfast. Gail


    and Theresa are there, and I sit with them at the small table. Gail had already whipped something up,


    and she sets the te in front of me only two seconds after I take a seat. "What is Alpha Grant''s first


    name?" I ask and they both give me odd looks.


    Belongs to (N)?vel/Drama.Org.


    "You don''t know?" Theresa asks.


    "He hasn''t told me."


    "It''s James, after his father," Gail says.


    I nod. How perfect. "How long have you two been at the pack house?"


    "I''ve been for five years, and Theresa has been here forever."


    Theresa smiles. "I''ve been since James was a young one."


    Curiosity gets the best of me, and I can''t help but ask, "What was James like as a child?" It feels odd to


    call Alpha Grant, James. It feels as if I am ying Julianna and him, his father.


    "He was quiet. Never had a sibling. Sadly his mother passed away before she had another, yet I don''t


    know if it was in the books for the two. He observed a lot. He would observe people very closely, yet


    hardly ever spoke a word. Odd child, but he grew up eventually. They all do," Theresa shares. "He''s


    be a good Alpha, that''s for sure. He''s taken after his father. Both strong leaders."


    I nod again.


    She has stoppeding by at night ever since I had told her to leave that one time. I wonder if she''d


    gone to James about it, but if she had I''d never know anyway. I''m d she''s gone. It helps me sleep.


    My trips to the liquor cab and into the woods seem to be over, due to that.


    I''ve spoken to my mother and she continues to press me about visiting, but I continue to tell her that I


    am simply too busy learning about Luna duties. She tells me about the pack and how things are going


    well. She says that she can bring more of my things from the house when she visits, and I sigh. I wish


    she could visit. I''ve missed her.


    After James kissed me and after I sat in the shower, Iid in bed until my body gave up and dozed off.


    It took too long, and when I managed to fall asleep it didn''tst. I was woken by noisesing from


    down the hall—nothing sexual—so I peeked out my door, spying through the crack. I saw James


    leaving his bedroom and going downstairs to do who knows what. I heard the front door open, then I


    knew he went outside somewhere. It was two in the morning, so I thought there had been a pack issue.


    I have so many things to ask him, yet I know he won''t answer one. I don''t know what to think after he


    kissed me. I don''t know what''s going on in his head. He is like a closed book with no words—I couldn''t


    read him if I tried, though I do wonder if he watches me, if he observes me. I wonder what he has


    learned from that.


    * * *


    I have to leave. I know I have to leave. It will hurt. I will want toe back just to see his face again,


    but I can''t. I can nevere back here. I have to fight myself—like quitting a drug. No matter how


    much I want it, I can never return. I can never have him.


    When Jameses homete at night, I sneak from my bed and begin to gather my things. I will have


    to leave my books and music behind, but that is the least of my worries. Last time I was lucky, no


    rogues came on my path, but I am not so sure this time. Getting past the borders is difficult enough,


    and I am no fighter. When the guard mentioned that I wouldn''tst a night out there... Is it really worth


    it? Is this worth dying over? No. I don''t want to die in the middle of the woods and rot until someone


    stumbles upon my decaying body.


    Maybe the rogues aren''t violent. Maybe I am overreacting, but with James leaving in the middle of the


    night and Will constantlying with issues, I can''t help but think there has been an influx of rogues in


    the area. That guard was smart enough to warn me, too. Maybe I should stay.


    I drop my things and sit down on my bed, not sure what to do. Where would I even go? Back to that


    town? Back to my pack? I''m not sure how to get back there. I''ll die in the forest alone, by rogues or by


    goddess knows what lurks in there. I can''t defend myself like that, I''ve never had to survive on my own.


    There are too many things pushing against me. Leaving alone is no longer an option, but what if I get


    help. That guard, Theodore, maybe he can help me. He said himself that he doesn''t care for Alpha


    Grant either.


    I don''t know where to find him, and I shouldn''t do anything drastic now.


    Maybe a guard at the borders can help me. Maybe if I find just one who understands they''ll tell me if it''s


    safe out there or not. Knowing is better than not knowing.


    I should ask now before James wakes up and before Theresa and Gaile in the morning. I''m given


    the most time at night. The guards do not know that I am their Alphas Mate, so worstes to worst


    they''ll tell me to back off and I will. I have to prepare myself. This is smart, I know it is. I''m going to do


    something good for myself, and once I''m done I''lle back here and make my decision whether it''s


    safe to leave at this time or if I should wait a month or two. This is smart. This is good.