Chapter 114


    24.


    A Burning Regret


    THEON


    The weather was pleasant, and the sea was calm. It was the following day after the attack, and night


    had fallen. Everyone was sitting on the deck enjoying the music Leto was ying. Tankards of hot


    mead sat on the tables in front of us, with tters of snacks as we enjoyed the calm. Two sirens had


    approached hours after that attack, but after a word with Yileyna, they had swum away. I still don‘t


    know how to feel about them. For them to not attack us was... strange. Her words and concern when


    she had turned back to us were still fresh in my mind.


    ‘We should be safe from here, the sirens and my guards will keep an eye beneath the surface but...


    even they don‘t know why the Leviathan was after us. It is not meant to be anywhere near here.‘


    The Leviathan... Something about it niggled at my mind. When she had encased it in ice, the darkness


    I had felt from it... it felt oddly familiar to the darkness I feel around Arabe... but how was that even


    possible? A witch, even a dark one, couldn‘t control a monster created by a god, especially to make it


    come after us... 4


    The Leviathan was meant to stay in the depths of the ocean. Why would it attack Yileyna, someone


    who was tied to the sea? Everyone now knew what Yileyna was, and to my surprise they epted her,


    seeing her for who she was and not her being a siren. But it wasn‘t so surprising, the crew of The Siren


    Killer were quite diverse, and they didn‘t see others by their race but for who they are.


    Although it had been pretty surprising to them that they had epted it. It was impressive how she was


    able to win everyone over.


    As for me... I was unable to forget about what happened between us, the way she had moaned... the


    way she had obviously wanted me... Fuck, just the thought made me hard.


    Even now she was dancing with Cleo, whilst Leto strummed his guitar as he sang his sea shanties.


    I listened to the words, my eyes on Yileyna, she was far more beautiful than I could put into words. The


    changes in her appearance only made her sexier and it was fucking hard being around her. Her eyes


    remained in that multitude of iridescent colours, and even just looking into them made me lose myself.


    Right now, she was wearing a white dress that just about covered her ass, her corset entuating her


    curves. Her sensualugh reached my ears as Cleo spun her around, giving me the perfect view of her.


    Damn her breasts were fucking fine...


    Remembering the feel of her body against mine, I forced myself to look away, feeling pleasure rush


    south. I picked up my tankard, downing it. I looked back at her, only for our eyes to meet. Her heart


    skipped a beat, but I refused to look away, or I just wasn‘t able to...


    There was no way that we could be together, not after everything I had done, but why did the urge to


    pull her close, apologise, and fuck her senseless, consume my mind?


    Regardless... I still needed to apologise properly for actions that I truly regretted. I stood up, shooting


    pain rushing through my chest as I did, but I didn‘t let it. show on my face, I had be ustomed to


    it. I walked to the edge of the boat, just as the sound of footsteps approached. I frowned, knowing who


    it was before they even spoke. “Can I get you anything, Commander?” Barbara asked. 2 “No.” I replied


    curtly, not sparing her a nce. I knew exactly what she wanted, and if I wasn‘t so fucking hung over


    Yileyna, I would have taken her offer. But the only woman I wanted was her, and I knew none other


    would cut it for me.


    The moment Barbara put her hand on my arm, my eyes snapped to her, shing dangerously. “Do not


    touch me.” I almost growled, trying my fucking best to keep my voice down. “Are you sure? You seem


    tense.” She squeezed my shoulder, and I clenched my jaw, knowing my muscles were all knotted up.


    “One hundred fucking percent sure.” I shot back, moving away from her and walking away towards the


    back of the ship, away from them all. I could feel Yileyna‘s eyes on me, but I didn‘t turn back.


    I once said we were heaven and hell... but now we were further apart. We were still the opposites of


    one another, but only now that distance between us was far bigger.


    The sound of light footsteps on the wood and her intoxicating scent filled my nose, I clenched my jaw.


    Not now, Yileyna… Not when the urge to devour her was fucking strong.


    “Here, I got you another one.” She held out a tankard to me, and I was forced to look at her, taking it.


    She smiled slightly, raising hers, and we knocked them together before taking a gulp.


    “Thanks.” I said after a moment, not looking at her.


    She leaned her back against the rail next to me, tilting her head as she observed


    1. me.


    “Something on my face?” I asked, cocking my brow as I nced down at her. She pursed her plump


    lips, a slight frown on her face. “Theon, are you injured?”


    “No.”


    “You‘re lying.” She murmured, stepping closer and sniffing me. “I can smell blood. It‘s faint but it‘s


    there... besides, your eyes look duller.”


    “No, they don‘t actually, just because you became somewhat... dazzling, everything else probably just


    looks washed out to you.” 1 She frowned, staring into my eyes. “No.Your eyes have always been


    vibrant, Theon. You don‘t look ok.”


    “Thanks. Like I said, your view on things has changed.” I retorted coldly, downing the drink and cing


    the tankard down with a thud, turning away.


    “Theon.” Her irritation was clear, but I ignored her, walking away when she grabbed hold of my arm and


    blocked my view, ring up at me.


    “Don‘t block my path, Little Storm, or I will throw you overboard.” I threatened, a threat with no force


    behind it.


    A small smile curled her lips and she smirked. “The water wees me.” She reminded me smugly.


    “How nice.” I replied in the same tone, with added mockery.


    She frowned, looking me over. I didn‘t miss how her eyes lingered on the front of


    my pants, her heart thumping.


    Interesting “Theon, if you‘re injured, why don‘t you just tell me, did the Leviathan hurt you? “She asked


    sharply.


    “Doesn‘t really matter. Now, unless you want me to push you up against the beam behind you and fuck


    you until you scream. Move.” I whispered dangerously.


    Her heart was pounding, and I didn‘t miss the way she swallowed.


    Taking her silence as obedience, I stepped around her, continuing on my way down.


    “Then why did you refuse her?” She asked quietly.


    I didn‘t need to ask who she meant.


    “What do you want to hear, Little Storm? Because I don‘t think anything I say will help in any fucking


    way.” I replied quietly, as I nced at her over my shoulder.


    “I don‘t know either, I just... Ignore me.” She frowned, running her fingers through her hair. She was


    frustrated, agitated even, and I could see her nails were growing.


    “Are you alright?” I asked sharply, I didn‘t need her going crazy siren mode on us.


    She nodded, her cheeks flushing and confusing me as she quickly backed away.


    “Yes, I am.” She shook her head, and I noticed the tips of her hair that had begun to change return to


    normal.


    “That didn‘t look normal to me.” I frowned, turning and walking back towards her. “If there‘s something


    you are hiding from me, then it‘s better you tell me now.”


    Was she unable to control herself?


    She frowned, crossing her arms under her breasts, and it took my fucking all not to admire them.


    “I have hidden nothing of importance from you.” She retorted, her gaze dipping over me before she


    looked back into my eyes defiantly. “You‘re the one who refused to tell me what‘s wrong with you.”


    Her gaze became suspicious, and I wondered what she‘d think if I told her it was her attack that had left


    this injury on me.


    “I don‘t need to share it with a dumb little blonde.“,


    She blinked, not expecting that, before her eyes narrowed.


    “Well, you found this blonde appealing.”


    “Doesn‘t mean you‘re any less dumb.” I retorted, almost smirking at the fact I had managed to deviate


    the conversation. She glowered up at me. “Well, you are no smarter than I am, you have done some


    pretty foolish things too.”


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    “Yeah, although I don‘t think they were as foolish as they were terrible...” This was my chance. I


    frowned as I looked into her eyes. “I know my words alone will never be enough, nor will they change


    the past, but if I could do it all over again then I would make sure they were safe. In all of this, I would


    have done my best to keep them away from any harm.” , I looked into her eyes, which were now filled


    with pain and vulnerability, her heart beating wildly as my words sank in. “It will never be enough, but


    it‘s one of my greatest regrets, one that I know I can never be forgiven for and one that I can never fix. I


    am sorry, Yileyna, and I really mean it.” My voice was quiet, blending in with the hum of Leto‘s singing


    and the crashing waves of the ocean.


    Our eyes were locked, hers pooled with tears that spilt silently down her cheeks, the sky darkened as


    rain began to fall gently. The sky was crying with her. “I‘m sorry.” I repeated softly, as her lips quivered,


    and for a moment I remembered the young girl who had been vulnerable and alone as she ran to give


    me the key to our cabin that snowy day... “I‘m fucking sorry for everything.” I wasn‘t meant to let my


    emotions take over, and I didn‘t want a simple apology to weaken her resolve, but she deserved to hear


    it. Especially if I was killed before I got the chance again.


    I looked at her, and although I wanted to pull her into my arms andfort her, I wouldn‘t, because this


    wasn’t an act to make her heart soften to me. “I‘m sorry.” With those final words, I turned and left her,


    just as a small sob left her lips. 1


    It tore me up, leaving her like that, but I didn‘t deserve her. I stopped on the stairs, looking at Ailema the


    hybrid woman, I had a feeling she heard everything. “Comfort her.” Imanded before I made my


    way to my cabin.


    Entering, I closed the door behind me and sat on the small bed, running a hand through my hair.


    I loved her but I had lost her, and it was indeed toote.


    This was the most I could do...


    I tried to distract myself, thinking of anything but the woman I had left in tears... once more.


    Tomorrow morning, we will find ourselves in Eastcourt, and from there I would head to Lochfox. It


    should take no more than two days, and by the following night, we would be back on board.


    I was looking forward to seeing Thea, it had been two years since Ist saw her and in all of this, it


    would be nice to see someone who didn‘t think of me as anything more than just her brother. I would


    say someone who loved me for me, but I don‘t think even she knew what I have done... I looked at the


    door, the temptation to go see if Yileyna was ok nearly oveing me, but I stayed put. Deep down my


    wolf‘s restlessness gave me a clear message, one I was trying to deny: Yileyna still loved me.


    But even if she did, those feelings would soon fade away too, because no one could love a killer. 3