62 - Kennedy


    I have been enjoying my time better in this pack. Sarah has been so amazing, she knows so much about the history and the way the pack works. I wonder if she is like an elder or something. It''s been a long time since I haveughed this much and I am loving every second. She has no filter and tells everyone like it is, but with the kindest


    heart I have ever seen.


    "So then they were all running naked to the packhouse like their tails were on fire!." Sarah finishes her story about Ryker, Josh, Be and Danny when they were about ten and I amughing so hard I almost fall out of my chair. Robin is slightly more dignified, but she has probably heard this story before.


    "I wish I could hear more stories like this. With so many elders here I''m sure there is so much more history I could learn about his pack. It is so big and wonderful, it''s like nothing I have experienced before." I can''t even hide my fascination with Dark Moon. The more I learn, the more I want to know. It''s nothing like the rumors that surround it. But, I see how the rumors probably work in Ryker''s favor keeping rogue wolves in check and protecting pack members that are literally hours away. I have even started to bring my schoolwork out to the kitchen when I know Sarah will be here just to spend time with her.


    She smiles at me. "I''m sure I could introduce you to a few other old timers like me. We all love telling our own versions of the same stories over and over again.” "You are not old Sarah, stop!" I m my book shut. I cannot take in another word and I am about to call it quits anyway.


    "Are you frustrated with something in your studies, girly?" Sarah looks at me while Robin checks the endless emails she has on her phone. "You have been rather


    harsh to your book. Did it offend you?" She chuckles.


    "No, but the longer I spend here, the less I see the point in finishing any of this. High School and a business degree are useless. At least when I was home I had a business to study for. Now I don''t know what to do and I''m not allowed to choose what I want to be when I grow up. Why waste money and time on something that will mean nothing in the end?"


    That was way more word vomit than I nned on, but I''m frustrated. I was even nning on leaving Silver Crescent to get my degree and if I chose to return it would be on my terms with something to contribute to the benefit of the pack. Now I just feel like a mooch.


    "Well, your alpha has plenty of money to throw around, so he should treat you to whatever you want. If it''s school, then why not let him pay for it?"


    “Because I haven''t earned it. It''s really that simple. He doesn''t owe me anything, and I won''t take what I haven''t worked for. I have been living off of pack leaders'' money for thest three years and everyone says it''s fine or not a big deal, but I don''t like it. I am paying for it with my personal choices and freedom being taken away. I don''t like that decisions about my life have been made for me and about me without any input from me for so long. But because I can''t fund my own things I can''t reallyin. It makes me feel ungrateful at the same time as I feel frustrated." I scrub my hands over my face. I''m not making any sense now. This is what happens when you are cooped up for so long. The weather is finally too cold to go outside even with a nket and heater, so my cabin fever has hit a new level.


    "I am so sorrydies, I need to go answer these emails with phone calls otherwise nothing will get done right. Robin pops up from her chair and takes off as fast as one can in a pencil skirt.


    "What would make you feel like you are earning your ce here, maybe I can help.” Sarah finishes chopping veggies and scoots a te towards me.


    "At this point anything that helps to make the pack better, or more efficient. There''s no way that I can''t help with something around here. The pack is so big, Ryker has been in this packhouse less than a handful of times since I have been here. But, he clearly doesn''t think I am capable of anything or doesn''t trust me yet. I know my Aunt Beth was more busy than Uncle James at times. I know the luna is supposed to be working for the pack."