(Scarlett’s POV)
I post it before I can second–guess myself.
+25 Points
Within minutes, thements start pouring in. Messages of support, people asking what happened, spection about why I’m closing.
I turn off my phone and set it aside. I can’t deal with the outside world right now.
Lily wanders out of her room around ten, dragging Mr. Hopscotch behind her.
“Mama, I’m hungry.”
“What do you want for breakfast, baby?”
“Pancakes?”
I nod and start pulling ingredients from the cupboard. Cooking has always been therapeutic for me, and making pancakes for my daughter feels like the most normal thing I can do right
now.
As I mix the batter, Lily climbs onto her step stool beside me.
“Can I help?”
“Of course.”
She carefully measures vani while I c***k eggs. For a few minutes, it feels almost normal. Just a mother and daughter making breakfast together on a rainy morning.
But then she asks, “When can we see Daddy?”
And the illusion shatters.
“I don’t know, sweetheart. Maybe in a day or two, when he’s feeling better.”
“Is he still sleeping?”
“Yes, he’s still sleeping.”
“Like Sleeping Beauty?”
Theparison makes my chest tight. “Something like that.”
“Will Prince Charming wake him up?”
:
< Chapter 142
125 Points
I flip a pancake, using the motion to hide my face from her. “I don’t think Daddy needs Prince Charming, baby. He just needs time to get better.”
But her innocent question echoes in my mind as we eat breakfast. Who would be Jasper’s Prince Charming? Virginia, probably. The woman who’s been by his side through everything, who rushed to the hospital and stayed all night.
The woman who might actually love him, in her twisted way.
After breakfast, I try to distract us both with movies and coloring books. But Lily keeps asking about Jasper, and I keep thinking about the diary entries.
<i>He </i><i>makes </i><i>me </i><i>feel </i>like <i>I’m </i><i>the </i><i>only </i><i>person </i><i>who </i><i>matters</i>.
<i>He’ll </i><i>always </i><i>find </i><i>me </i><i>when </i><i>I’m </i><i>lost</i>.
<i>I </i><i>want </i><i>to </i><i>marry </i><i>him</i><i>. </i><i>I </i><i>want </i><i>to </i><i>have </i><i>his </i><i>babies</i><i>. </i><i>I </i><i>want </i><i>to </i><i>grow </i><i>old </i><i>with him</i>.
Had I really felt that way once? Had I really believed our love could conquer anything?
It seems impossible now, looking back at the mess our marriage became. But the evidence is there in my own handwriting, in memories I thought I’d buried.
Around noon, Chloe shows up with takeout from our favorite Thai restaurant.
“Thought you might need somefort food,” she says, unpacking containers of pad thai and green curry.
“You’re an angel.”
“How are you holding up?”
I shrug, not trusting my voice.
“That’s what I thought.” She pulls me into a hug. “Talk to me. What’s really going on in that head of yours?”
“I found my old college diaryst night.”
“Oh, honey.”
“All these entries about Jasper. About how much I loved him, how perfect I thought we were together.” The words tumble out of me. “I’d forgotten how good it was in the beginning. Before Virginia, before the distance and coldness. He really loved me once, Chloe.”
“I know he did.”
:
< Chapter 142
“Then why did it all go so wrong?”
+25 Points
Chloe sits beside me on the couch, her expression sad but knowing. “Because love isn’t always perfect. Because people change. Because sometimes we hurt the <i>ones </i>we love most.”
“He threw himself in front of a car for me.”
“Yes, he did.”
“What does that mean?”
“I think you know what it means.”
I close my eyes, leaning against my best friend’s shoulder. “I’m engaged to Dorian.”
“Yes, you are.”
“I love Dorian.”
“Do you?”
“I think so…But..”
“But you’re human, Scarlett. It’s okay to haveplicated feelings about your past. It’s okay to grieve what you and Jasper lost.”
“Is it? Because I feel like I’m betraying Dorian just by thinking about it.”
“You’re not betraying anyone by processing your emotions. What happenedst night was traumatic. Of course it’s bringing up old feelings.”
We sit infortable silence while Lily ys with her dolls in the corner. Outside, the rain continues to fall, washing the world clean.
“Do you think I made the right choice?” I ask quietly. “Saying yes to Dorian?”
“Does he make you happy?”
“Yes.”
“Does he make you feel safe?”
“Always.”
“Then you made the right choice.” Chloe squeezes my hand. “Your past with Jasper doesn’t diminish your future with Dorian. They’re separate things.” <fn5ac7> Get full chapters from FιndNovel</fn5ac7>
< Chapter 142
“But what if-”
+25 Points
“No what–ifs,” she interrupts gently. “You can’t build a life on what–ifs. You have to build it <i>on </i>what is. And what is, is that you’re engaged to a man who loves youpletely. Who sees your worth and treats you like the treasure you are.”
I nod, knowing she’s right but still feeling torn.
My phone buzzes with a text from ir: “Jasper is stable. Still unconscious, but the doctors are optimistic. Thought you’d want to know.”
I stare at the message, my heart clenching. Part of me wants to rush to the hospital, <i>to </i>sit by his bedside like I would have four years ago. But that’s not my ce anymore.
Virginia is there. It’s her vigil to keep now.
“What if Jasper never wakes up?”
The questiones out barely above a whisper, but it’s been haunting me sincest night.
“The doctors said he’s stable-<b>” </b>
“But what if he doesn’t? What if he stays in thata forever because he tried to save me? How am I supposed to live with that?”
Chloe is quiet for a moment, studying my face. “Is that what this is really about? Guilt?”
“Isn’t that enough?”
“Scarlett, look at me.” She waits until I meet her eyes. “Jasper made a choice. He saw you in danger and he acted on instinct. That’s not your fault.”
“But if I hadn’t been there-”
“If you hadn’t been there, you’d have been somewhere else, and God forbid, possibly dead as well. Is that what you want?”
“Of course not.”
“Then stop torturing yourself over something you couldn’t control.”
I know she’s right. Logically, I know that none of this is my fault. But knowing something and feeling it are two different things.
“Have you been to see him?” Chloe asks.
“No. I don’t… I don’t think I should go.”
< Chapter 142
“Why not?”
+25 Points
“Because Virginia is there.”
Or because you’re afraid of what you might feel if you see him.”
I don’t answer, which is answer enough.
“Scarlett, you were married to him for three years. You have a child together. It’s okay to be worried about him. It’s okay to want him to wake up and be okay.”
“Is it? Because it doesn’t feel okay. It feels like I’m betraying Dorian.”
“Have you talked to Dorian about any of this?<b>” </b>
“What am I supposed to say? ‘Hey, honey, I know we just got engaged, but I’m having confusing feelings about my ex–husband who’s in aa‘?”
“Maybe something like that, yeah.”
I stare at her. “Are you serious?”
“Dorian’s not stupid, Scarlett. He knows this situation isplicated. He knows you have history with Jasper. If you’re honest with him about what you’re going through, he might surprise you.”
“Or he might decide I’m too much trouble.”
“Do you really think that little of him?”
The question makes me pause. Do I? Dorian has been nothing but patient and understanding since the moment I met him. He’s never pressured me to forget my past or pretend Jasper doesn’t exist.
“I just want Jasper to wake up,” I whisper. “I want him to be okay. Not because I want to get back together with him or because I don’t love Dorian. I just… I can’t handle the thought of him bing a vegetable because of me.”
M
Violet Moon
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