<b>Chapter </b><b>34</b><b>: </b>Lost <b>in </b>Memories


    Blythe’s P.O.V.


    Sorry… do what now?


    “Are you crazy?<b>” </b>I asked tly.


    “I just made you cum while my tongue was down your throat.” he stated. “Let me see everything I just felt.


    “Oh, okay,” I replied sarcastically. Then I spun around and ran to the bathroom. “Fu.ck you!” I shouted before mming the door shut and locking it.


    Karma has lost his mind. So have I, apparently. Because why the hell would I let him touch me like that? <b>What </b>the hell is wrong with me?


    Maybe I just froze up. Maybe it was all the traumaing back to me, rooting me in my spot, knowing <b>that </b><b>it </b>was better to just take it. Maybe I was just trying to be somewhere else.


    I know that wasn’t true though. I wasn’t scared. I wasfortable. More so than I’ve ever been.


    I’ve had few positive se.xual experiences, but then they became tainted once I found out the truth. Still<b>, </b>those experiences taught me that I’m very responsive when I like what’s being done to me. Like in a way <b>that </b>seriously should have me locked in a mental institution. I lose my mindpletely and turn into <b>a </b><b>totally </b>different person. I was only ever like that with one man, and it was a lie the entire time.


    However, what just happened tells me one thing. I still have feelings for them. More than I’m admitting to myself. I liked what happened. I wanted more.


    Still, I shouldn’t have done that. I folded so easily. I didn’t even put up a fight. Probably because I know there’s no use, but I still could have tried. I always put up a fight, at least at first. I never just… took it and liked it.


    Unless you count the first few months after I was married.


    Or… all the things I did before I was sent to Silent Divine.


    Ozias was my first kiss, but we were so young. Don’t get me wrong, it was a hot kiss. He even stuck his tongue in my mouth. It was subtle, like he was afraid to do it. I still remember how Ozias shook with nerves as he wrapped his arms around me to pull me closer. The way his hands tangled in my hair, the way he lifted me off the ground just a little, the way hepletely lost himself in that kiss… it’s all something I will never forget.


    And then there was Tae.


    Tae used to trap me in corners around school, the clubhouse, or wherever we were hanging out. He was always the one to kiss me first, always the one to put his hands all over me. It was Tae who taught me how to use my tongue. Ozias used his tongue, but it was short<b>, </b>only one time, and we were both nervous. <b>Tae </b>was the one that taught me where to put my hands when we kissed. He was the one who taught me how to rx, taught me how good kissing can really be. <b>Not </b>that it wasn’t great with Ozias, but I only ever <b>had </b><b>the </b>one experience with him.


    The older we got, the hotter things got. The night of Tae’s 16th birthday was a <b>night </b>I’ll never forget<b>. </b><b>It’s </b><b>hard </b>


    Chapter 34 Lost in Memories


    <b>to </b><b>forget </b><b>anything </b>when ites to those five anyway<b>, </b><b>but </b>that night… The way <b>Tae </b>took <b>charge</b><b>, </b>the way he seemed <b>like </b><b>he </b><b>just </b>couldn’t get enough of me<b>… </b>I was caught up in the moment. It was <b>the </b>hottest <b>thing </b>to ever happen <b>to </b>me. His hands were all over me, his lips were searing me, and before I knew <b>it</b><b>, </b>I had my first


    orgasm.


    Then, while Tae was lost in the throes of what he was doing, I came again. And again. I was thoroughly embarrassed and seriously thought something was wrong with me. Was it normal to orgasm that quickly<i>? </i>That many times in a row so easily?


    Iter found out it wasn’t exactly normal, but it didn’t mean anything was wrong with me. I just have an overly sensitive body. Something that my husband loved once he found out.


    And of course, Chayton just had to be spying on us. Why I didn’t call him out for being a creep all those years ago, I’ll never know. Instead, I let him get between my legs too. I let him use my body for his own pleasure.


    And I loved it. The four orgasms he gave me spoke for that.


    It was different with Chayton. Just like it was with all of them. Chayton was bossy and sly. There were also


    feweryers between us than with Tae. Chayton only had on a pair of sweatpants. I <i>don’t </i>even think he was


    wearing underwear, and me… That was the first night I went to sleep in only a T–shirt. Which meant that only


    those sweatpants separated us.


    Something about it all was so hot to me. Chayton calling me out for being with Tae, using that to get what he


    wanted. Having his hands all over me… His lips, God, his lips.


    I let them all do whatever they wanted to me back then. I was foolish. I thought that I was getting attention


    from them. Positive attention. With how sh.it everything was at those times, <b>it </b>just… felt so nice to have them


    close again. Even if it meant giving them my body. And I enjoyed it all.


    Until reality seemed to set back in for them. Tae was always nice, always kind, always looking at me like t


    hung the stars and the moon in the sky. Chayton had the decency to take care of me, cing me on my bed


    and tucking me in before acting as if nothing ever happened between us. Evander… well, he was just a downright jerk. And it all made me happier that Kylian never tried anything with me.


    I just assumed that Kylian didn’t want me like that. Hell, I wasn’t sure if any of them did. Aside from Tae and Ozias. I wonder how my silver dragon would have acted if he was around for everything. I wonder if he would have sided with Ev too. It’s not like he ever kept his promises to stay in touch with me.


    Did I ever really mean anything to any of them? And now… what’s going on now? Why did Karma say all of that to me? What do they really want from me?


    Is this like… a se.x thing? Do they want to see what Silent Divine taught me? What my husband taught me? <b>If </b>I give it to them… will they get bored with me quicker? Toss me aside after they’ve had their fill of me? Should I just… do it and get it over with then?


    I looked at myself in the bathroom mirror as the water heated up. I slowly stripped out of my clothes and stared at my reflection. The scars that litter my body disgust me. Most of them are small. I was beaten a lot at Silent Divine, but bruises don’t leave scars. However, I would get cuts sometimes from the fights. Myck has scars from the times I got whipped a little too hard. They’re probably the worst of it other than my special scar. Then there was that one time that Laurel had a psychological breakdown and came after me with a knife. I’ve got a nice three–inch scar on my chest because of her.


    I blew out a breath as I looked at myself. I wonder if the guys would care about my scars. I’ve been trying so


    hard to not fall for their tricks, that I never thought they’d get a chance to see what was done to me. I’m not even sure if they care Knowing about it and seeing it are different though.


    Honestly, it’s me. I’m weak. I’m afraid that they really won’t care once they see me and my gross body. I think it’ll break whatever little bit of myself that I have left. Even though I shouldn’t let them have any part of me Not my body, not my tears, definitely not my heart.


    I shook my head and quickly got in the shower. I actually have shampoo, conditioner, body wash, and even a luffa. Finally. A real shower.


    I tried not to think about Karma or the others and what I’ve done with them. Especially the more recent things. I couldn’t afford to be sloppy. I needed to make smart decisions. Whether I run away on my own, am kicked out, or possibly even taken… I won’t be here for long. I can’t forget that I’m not safe here anymore. !


    probably never was.


    I was drying my body off after just stepping out of the shower when someone knocked on the bathroom door


    “I have some clothes for you that Ann and Cami dropped off,” Karma said.


    I wrapped the towel around my body, and slowly peeled the door open. I cracked it just enough to look at Karma. He stared at me and I snatched the clothes from his hands. I went to m the door shut, but he put his boot in the way. I frowned at Karma, but he didn’t care. He just shoved his way into the bathroom, his eyes


    never leaving mine.


    I backed up until my butt hit the counter. I hugged my towel and the clothes to my chest as Karma stepped right in front of me. He was still staring, but I was much too aware that I was practically naked in front of him. And very vulnerable.


    “W–w–what are you d–doing?” I stuttered angrily.


    Instead of replying to me with words, Karma reached his hand up. I flinched slightly, making him hesitate. After a split second, he continued. He dragged a tendril of my wet, inky locks over my shoulder. Then he twirled it around his fingers, a smile touching his lips.


    “You kept it long,” he mumbled. “Just the way we like it.” <fn3864> ???s ??????? ?s ?????? ?? Find~Novel</fn3864>


    I frowned as heat rushed to my cheeks.


    “I didn’t do it for any of you,” I lied.


    Truth is, I could never bring myself to <i>cut </i>it. No matter how many times Sean told me I should. He liked my long hair, but he thought I’d look good with a change. The only reason it wasn’t forced on me was because Sean didn’t mind it. Though, I’m sure it would have happened eventually.


    “Right,” Karma replied, dropping my hair. “Get dressed, Spark. Ma’s on her way home from the airport.”


    G


    Kj