“I am testing someone,” I said. “But we don’t have the results yet.”


    Gwen was quiet for a moment. Then she asked, “Who?”


    I replied, “Her name is Amber.”


    Amber’s POV


    Julian and I left Rafael’s together. He seemed distracted at first, looking out the window as I drove us to Gail’s ce to pick up Alice.


    I was perfectly happy to do the drive in silence. After everything that happened today, I was feeling overwhelmed as it was. I could still hear the ringing in my ears from the loudness of the crowd. And my heart was still racing as much as it had been when Julian had been in danger.


    Now was the calm after the storm but my body and mind needed time to catch up, to remind myself that everyone was safe and everything was over.


    Julian was quiet for the length of a few more stop lights, before he finally nced over at me.


    “You cheered for me,” he said.


    “I did,” I could admit that.


    “Is that because you love me?” he asked.


    I wished he didn’t ask me these things while I was driving, because I very nearly swerved off the road.


    The truth was, I loved Julian, but I couldn’t admit that to him. I could barely admit it to myself!


    And to tell him would lead him to thinking things were more stable than they were, when the truth was so much messier. I had no idea if Julian was my future. I loved him, and I wanted him near me. But our love had caused so much heartache, not just for the two of us but for those around us too.


    Roman couldn’t even be my friend now.


    And Rafael didn’t like Julian at all. I still didn’t know what he said to him behind closed doors, but I was


    sure it wasn’t anything good.


    So I couldn’t answer Julian’s question yet, and I didn’t know if I’d ever be able to.


    “There are a lot of problems left for us to face before we can get into anything like that,” I said. Maybe it was a coward’s way out, hiding behind our problems. Years ago, before the hurt, I would have been more bold with my love and my feelings. But now, I was scared of my own shadow.


    Maybe I didn’t know how to love boldly anymore.


    My words, my warnings, didn’t seem to deter Julian at all, and he continued on, “Rafael wants me to prove myself to him and his family. He doesn’t think I’m worthy of you. Honestly, I don’t care at all what he thinks. You are the only one I want to prove myself to.”


    “Julian,” I said, unsure what to say after that. I wanted to tell him that he didn’t have to prove himself to me, but maybe he did. Maybe some of my hesitation about us was still the hurt lingering from all those


    years ago.


    I should have been able to let things go by now, but I was still so scared they would happen again.


    Julian was different when he was here, traveling with Alice and me.


    But if we returned to his pack with him, trying to go back to normal, would he return to the way he used


    to be? What assurances did I really have that things would be different this time?


    I couldn’t just take his word for it. I had to see it for myself before I got myself into that situation.


    And that meant I needed time.


    And maybe that meant I needed him to prove himself too.


    “You’ll see,” Julian said, sounding even more determined than before. “I’ll show you how much I care.”