Amber’s POV


    <b>“</b>Uh…” I said, stumbling over not just my words, but also my thoughts. I looked at Julian for help out of this, but he was staring at me too, like he was waiting for my answer even more than Rafael was.


    Doing the only thing I could really think to do, I stumbled forward, sharing as much as I could about my heart in this moment, even if it was ugly and uncertain, full of emotions and feelings that were


    impossible to name.


    “I… we…” This was difficult. I took a break and a breather, then tried again. “Julian and are a still married but we’ve been separated for some time. A divorce may be possible soon, as well as a split of the mating


    bond.”


    Julian paled.


    Rafael tilted his head ever so slightly to the side, considering the words.


    In a moment of silence, I lowered my head, thinking maybe that I’d said the wrong thing. After all, I


    hadn’t been certain about my words myself.


    Being with Julian for the night had been fantastic, but truly, sex had never been our problem. It was always the everything else that had been difficult between us.


    And it was those things that scared me now. Julian and I had botched so much in the past, but I couldn’t afford to allow that to happen this time. With Alice in the mix, any wrong step could end up hurting her


    even more than it might hurt me.


    In such a vtile environment, how could a rtionship truly thrive?


    I cared for Julian, maybe even loved him, but we’d always been poison for each other. And now, thinking about we had argued and Alice had cried, I didn’t see that changing any time soon.


    “I think you are wrong about the divorce,” Julian said. “I think the things that you see as mistakes are anything but. Our rtionship has evolved over the years, moving forwards and backwards, but ultimately making us stronger as it brings us more together.”


    Rafael nced between us once more. “It sounds like you two have very different ideas about what your rtionship is at the moment. Or maybe what it ever was.”


    Yes. It did seem that way, didn’t it?


    Julian leaned closer to me. “Don’t give up on me, Amber. I will prove to you that I’m a better man that I was, and that I can be there for you and Alice. You are my family. Please let me be yours.”


    I looked at Julian with surprise and uncertainty. Gods, I wanted to believe him, but everything was such a


    consistent mess. If Alice wasn’t involved, then yes, certainly, I would likely dive straight into another situation with Julian, no more questions asked, even with our sorted past.


    But Alice was involved. And that meant I had to be more cautious than I would otherwise be.


    “Julian <b>–</b>”


    At that moment, I was interrupted by a servant dropping a tray of sds right there in the doorway between the dining room and the kitchen. The servant was looking at me, his eyes wide.


    “Mortimer<b>?</b><b>” </b>Rafael asked, looking back. The servant was a man old enough to be retired, with a long


    white mustache and a pale blue eyes. He stared at me like he was seeing a ghost.


    The man was in shock. Seeing this, Rafael stood and moved closer. Gently, he eased the man back into


    the kitchen, disappearing with him, the door swinging closed behind them.


    “What was that about?” Julian asked, looking from the doorway back to me. “Did you know that man<b>?</b><b>” </b>


    <b>“</b>No, I don’t think so,” I said.


    “He looked like he knew you.”


    “He did,<b>” </b>I said. “But I…”


    I thought back to the clinic earlier, and the entire reason I was at Rafael’s house at all.


    That older woman, who had once been employed at this estate swore that she had known me, and that I


    had been here at one time.


    For it to happen twice…


    Julian and I had a lot of romantic entanglement to sort through and attempt to unravel, but ultimately he


    was someone I trusted with my daughter’s life and with my own. He knew about my past, my hardships


    at the orphanage. I’m sure he would understand my purpose here if I just exined.


    “Julian,” I told him. “Something happened at the clinic today…”


    Quickly, I gave him an overview of my meeting with the older woman and the things she said, and how it led me here, looking for answers, though I hadn’t yet had the opportunity to ask Rafael the questions yet.


    Julian listened with a straight face, nodding now and then, not judging me at all. When I was finished, he pointed at the door. “You think that man recognized you too?”


    “I don’t know<i>,</i><i>” </i>I said. <b>“</b><b>It </b>seems to be the older folks that do. But that makes sense, doesn’t it? If I had been here, I couldn’t have been older than a baby when…”


    “When they let you go,” Julian said.


    “I don’t know what happened,” I said. It seemed unfair and unproductive to leap to conclusions. Like


    when I am doing my Healer work, it was important to look at all the facts and then decide where to go


    from there.


    I didn’t have enough facts here to make any kind of hypothesis, and I wasn’t going to hurt myself by jumping to conclusions. Until someone told me what was going on, I wouldn’t make any guesses.


    After a moment, Rafael returned from the kitchen. There were a pair of new, younger servants with him who immediately went to clean up the mess. There was no sign of the older man.


    “Is everything alright?” Julian asked.


    “It’s fine,<i>” </i>Rafael said, but without his usual charm. He seemed to be moving somewhat stiffly now as well, like he wasn’t quite sure of himself anymore.


    As he returned to his chair, he looked me over like he was inspecting me, truly seeing me for the first


    time.


    I didn’t know what to make of it. We’d had many conversations before this. Why would he choose now to look at me differently<b>? </b>


    “Amber,” he said. “What do you know about your family?”


    “Next to nothing,” I replied. “I grew up in an orphanage.”


    “Do you remember anything from your time before?”


    “No,” I said. “I only remember the orphanage.”


    He hummed, then turned to Julian. “In your time as her husband and mate, did you ever use your resources as her mate to look into her past?”


    “No,” Julian said, and his face reflected some of his guilt. “We… never really got into it. At the time, I didn’t know it was that important to her…” He met my eyes. “To you. I’m sorry, Amber. I feel like I failed you once


    again.”


    “You didn’t,” I told him. “Not about this. My past was part of what made me who I am. My foster parents… It was too much to look that far back. I just wanted to move forward.”


    “There’s something I need you <i>to </i>see,” Rafael said. “Something that… well, it won’t exin anything, but it might help jog your memory…”


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