Amber’s POV
After putting Alice to bed, when I came back out into themon space, Julian was waiting for me. His arms crossed, he leaned against the only counter space in the kitchte, by the sink. While I had tucked in Alice, Julian had handled the dishes. His sleeves were rolled up, some drops of water lingering on his arms from where he’d missed drying with the towel.
I was d he had waited for me before going back into his own room. We had a lot to talk about<b>, </b>at least where it pertained to Alice.
“We can’t fight in front of her,” I said. “Never again. Whatever is going on between us, we cannot let it affect Alice. She has too much going on already, with her illness. As her parents, it’s our job to protect her from fights like this.”
<b>“</b>I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t mean to upset Alice, and I will make certain I never do it again. Her happiness is everything to me.”
“Good,” I said. “I’m d we understand each other.”
“We do,” he said. “At least about that, but not about anything else.”
<b>“</b>Julian, don’t start…”
“I don’t know why we can’t talk about this,” Julian said, pushing away from the counter.
“Because, with the two of us, whenever feelings get involved, we stop thinking logically and be selfish,” I said. “It’s never worked out for us, so why do we insist on continuing to try<b>?</b><b>” </b>
“That’s not true,” Julian said. “Being together hasn’t always been bad for us.”
I shook my head. How quickly he could forget! While he was out living his life in the past, I was the one at home, forced the shadows.
“Our past isn’t exactly a healthy one,” I reminded him.
He couldn’t counter that, so I was d he didn’t try.
“If we just took a chance, I think things would be good this time,” he said. “I’ve learned a lot since before. I could be so good for you. The other night was just a hint of that…”
Our night together had been something I would never forget, a night of intense passion and pleasure. Whenever I needed to find my own release in the future, I was certain to tap into those memories.
The noises Julian had made… The way he moved, pining me to the mattress with his body, thrusting down into me…
My mouth went dry again, just thinking about it.
No I couldn’t think about that now. My weakness for his body was what got me into this mess to start with! All those years ago, when Julian had approached me at that club… When our eyes locked and our bodies reacted….
Too much time had passed between then and now. We were different people now, changed by our experiences and simply by the passing of time.
“Things aren’t like how they were before we were married,” I said. “I’m a mother now, and that means i can’t be as reckless as I once was<b>.</b><b>” </b>
“But, Amber –”
“I’m sorry, Julian, but that’s the way things have to be.”
He looked at me for a long moment, then approached me step by step. He walked right up to me, stopping only six–inches from my chest. Towering over me, he looked down at me. There was passion in his eyes, intensity, focus<b>. </b>His smolder was scorching me from the inside out.
But I stayed very still, not moving a single muscle, not to go closer or further away. Maybe I was like a frightened animal, skittish<b>, </b>afraid to run away but just as afraid not to and end up in the jaws of the hungry wolf.
“Look me in my eyes and tell me you don’t want me,” he said. “Tell me you feel nothing for me. Only then, will I be satisfied enough to let you go.”