Chapter 188 Four Years


    Chapter 188 Four Years


    ROWAN


    Four years.


    It has almost been four gruelling years without her.


    Four years of silence, of unanswered questions, of nights where the moonlight mocked me with its silver reminder that she should have been here.


    I’ve searched everywhere in Fenra, every border, every damn town that even whispered her name. But she was nowhere to be found. Not one person had seen her. Sometimes I wonder if she’d ever existed at all, or if my memory was punishing me with a ghost I could never hold again.


    It hasn’t been the same since.


    I buried myself in duty, because what else was left? The warriors were my lifeline now, their sweat and blood poured into the soil of ournd. If I wasn’t going to find her, then at least I would build something strong enough that losing her wouldn’t feel like weakness carved into my skin.


    I was training the new warriors, and it had just finished. Their bodies were bent, sweat dripping onto the dirt, weapons dull in their hands. They bowed to me with trembling spines, <i>too </i>tired to look up, and I inclined my head in return.


    “Thank you, Alpha,” they murmured in unison, voices hoarse.


    I turned on my heel. Someone rushed toward me–a young maiden, her hands cupped around a wooden sk of water. Her eyes were wide and hopeful.


    I brushed her away without even meeting her gaze.


    I walked out of the training grounds.


    Francis caught up to me, as he always did. His arm slung around me with the casual familiarity only he could get away with.


    “You don’t even want to take the water from Stacey?” he asked in disbelief. “Damn, I miss the times when you were the cheeky, charming yboy.”


    I turned to re at him.


    He onlyughed, unbothered by the sharpness in my eyes.


    “See?” he eximed, grinning like a fool. “You’re too serious now! I swear, the Rowan I knew would’ve had half the maidens at the training ground swooning for a chance to hand him water. And he would’ve taken it with a wink.”


    I shook my head, shaking him off. “Whatever.”


    “Make sure to train them for afternoon training.”


    Francis groaned loudly, tossing his head back. “Cut them some ck, will you? They’re tired. And I heard


    <b>1/3 </b>


    C


    Chapter 188 Four Years


    that aside from watching your muscles contract, the training kills them.”


    I frowned, stopping mid–step.


    What the hell was that supposed to mean? Watching my muscles contract?


    I gave him a t look, but Francis just shrugged, smirking, amused by <i>my </i>confusion.


    I shook my head again, unwilling to take the bait.


    “A small rxation and we risk putting our people in danger,” I said, “Do you remember back then? Do year want rogues to enter the territory again?”


    The truth was undeniable. The memory of our borders breached, of screams echoing through the trees, still lived in me. The cost of weakness was too high.


    “We need to suppress them at the borders so the people don’t panic.”


    Francis’s smirk faltered. He bit his lip, eyes narrowing with something <i>that </i>looked like regret. He clicked his tongue, but didn’t argue.


    “Fine, Alpha,” he muttered.


    He pulled his arm away from me.


    “I’m going to eat then,” he said. “My mate’s making dessert.”


    And just like that, he was back to his teasing self. He always rubbed it in my face <i>that </i><i>he </i><i>had </i>someone waiting for him in their home.


    I shook my head and walked back to our house with heavy steps.


    The path was familiar, but my mind wasn’t here–it was years back, on the day I graduated from Elite.


    I graduated second, just right behind Arden. Elias had been third, and he was still bitter about it until now, bringing it up when we drank from time <i>to </i>time. On our graduation day, Arden talked to me, too. She told me that maybe Tessa didn’t want to be found. I’d been relentless before then.


    Every time I thought I was close, Tessa slipped away like smoke through my fingers. I couldn’t give up. But that day… Arden’s eyes had carried something I wasn’t prepared for. She had looked like she was the one crumbling into dust, even though she was talking about Tessa. And I realized then–sometimes searching isn’t saving. Sometimes it’s just pressing salt into a wound that doesn’t want to heal.


    So I stopped. Or, at least, I told myself I did.


    The years that followed blurred together. I found my footing in the United Factions, taking a position on the training units. It was a respectable position. On paper, I was everything an Alpha heir should <i>be</i><i>. </i>My father hadn’t officially passed the title to me yet, though. There was a reason for that, and it gnawed at me every time I came back here.


    I stepped into our house, the familiar feeling of detachment filling my senses. My parents were in the living room, appearing like they’d been waiting for me. My stomach tightened. I already knew how this would go.


    <b>2/3 </b>


    Chapter 188 Four Years


    “How is the training going?” my mother asked, her tone softer than I expected. That was another thing this unsettled ine. For the past two years, she had been different–gentler, almost tender in a way <b>that </b>didn’t h the woman who raised me with steel in her spine.


    “Good.” I answered briefly, not meeting her eyes.


    She pursed her lips, then looked away.


    My father cleared his throat. “You still haven’t met your… mate?”


    “I have,” I said, turning to him. “But that was hard to ept for you, right?”


    A small, bitter chuckle escaped my lips. “But then again, it wasn’t just your fault. It was also mine.”


    He didn’t respond immediately. He had that way of letting silence do the work, letting it fester until you filled it with something you didn’t want to say.


    Finally, he leaned back and exhaled. “Zaria is still unmated. And if-”


    “No,” I cut him off, leaving no room for negotiation.


    He sighed, the kind of sound that carried both exasperation and disappointment. “Rowan, until when <i>are </i>you going to be like this? I can’t give you the Alpha title until you have a strong, dependable Luna. Zaria can be Luna, and Cameron and his mate could serve as the Betas.”


    dead I scoffed before I could stop myself. “Cameron? Thatzy bastard?” The thought alone was enough to sour my mood further. Cameron, with his half–hearted efforts and endless excuses, as Beta? Over my body.


    My father’s eyes hardened, but I didn’t let him speak. I turned and walked toward the office, unwilling to drag this conversation out any longer.


    “Rowan!” His voice followed me. I stopped in my tracks but didn’t turn back.


    “This is what you wanted, isn’t it?” I asked quietly, the words spilling before I could cage them. “For me to be the leader of the pack without any baggage.”


    The silence that followed was heavy. I didn’t wait for his response. I mmed the office door behind me.


    My fingers dragged through my hair as I sank into the chair, the leather groaning beneath me. I hated being here. I was building my own ce, brick by brick, away from this suffocating house and its expectations. But it wasn’t finished yet. So for now, I had no choice but toe back here.


    I reached for the drawer of my desk,/hoping to busy myself with something mundane. But when I pulled <i>it </i>open, my hand froze.


    An envelope sealed with the insignia of the North stared right back at me.


    I lifted it slowly, studying the seal to see if it was real. When I confirmed its authenticity, I tore it open, the paper crisp in my hands. Then I read the heading.


    “Wedding?<b>” </b>