The first thing I notice is how warm I am. The second is that my phone is screaming at me from somewhere far away. The third is that I’m wrapped around Nick like a ko, and the sunlight streaming through my window is way too bright for five in the morning.


    “Shit!” I bolt upright, nearly elbowing Nick in the face. “SHIT, SHIT, SHIT!”


    “What’s wrong?” Nick mumbles, voice rough from sleep.


    I grab my phone and look at the time, seeing it’s 7:43 a.m. I was supposed to open at six.


    “I’m almost two hourste!” I scramble out of bed, tripping over the dress I left on the floorst night. “I never set my rm! I never forget to set my rm!”


    Nick sits up, his hair sticking up in twelve directions. “Jules?—”


    “No time!” I grab yesterday’s jeans from my chair, hopping on one foot as I pull them on. Fuck it. I grab a sweater from my closet and pull it over my head. “I have to go. The morning rush. Oh God, ire is going to kill me.”


    “Let me drive you?—”


    “I can walk there quicker.” I lean over the bed, grabbing his face and kissing him quick and hard. “Lock up when you leave. Spare key is stuffed behind my fall wreath on the door. Can’t miss it.”


    “Your sweat?—”


    “Bye!”


    I sprint out of my condo, my keys jangling, my hair a disaster. The three-block run to Cozy Coffee nearly exhausts me. When I burst through the back door, I nearly crash into Sierra, who’s carrying a hot tray of chocte croissants.


    “Jules!” She steadies the tray. “We thought you’d died!”


    “I’m so sorry!” I tie an apron around my waist, not even bothering to check my appearance. “I forgot to set my rm. I never forget. I?—”


    “Jules.” ire appears, arms crossed, trying to look stern but fighting a smile. “Breathe.”


    “The morning rush?—”


    “Is handled. Tracy came in early. We’ve got it covered.” She looks me up and down, and her smile breaks free. “But, um … you might want to …”


    “What?”


    She turns me toward the mirror by the office door.


    My sweater is on backward. The tag is sticking out under my chin. My hair looks like I’ve been through a tornado. Yesterday’s mascara is giving me roon eyes.


    “Oh my God.” I cover my face with my hands.


    “So,” ire says, pulling me into the office, “Nick stayed over?”


    “That’s the question you ask?” I re at her.


    “You look like you’ve been mauled.”


    “We didn’t have sex. We just did body shots and slept.”


    Tracy pokes her head in. “Jules, honey, your sweater’s on?—”


    “I know!”


    Sierra appears behind her. “Also, you have a huge hickey. Damn.”


    “I do not—” I check the mirror again. Fuck. I do.


    “Go home,” ire says, full-onughing. “Seriously. You’re a disaster, and we’ve got this covered.”


    “But—”


    “Jules.” She puts her hands on my shoulders. “You haven’t taken a real day off in months. You showed up looking like you did the walk of shame. Go home. Shower. Spend the day with your boy. Get some rest. We’ve got this.”


    “Are you sure?”


    “GO!” All three of them speak at once.


    “Also,” Sierra adds, “shower sex saves time. Just saying.”


    I flip them off as I leave, their giggles following me out.


    The walk back to my condo is less frantic. The morning air helps clear my head, and I’m suddenly very aware that Nick might still be there. I also remember we agreed to friends with benefits, and he’s taking me on a date tonight.


    When I unlock my door, I hear the shower. My stomach does a little flip.


    I climb the stairs, hearing him humming something. The bathroom door is cracked open, and steam rushes out. I can see his silhouette through my shower curtain, and I admire him for a second before creeping closer.


    “BOO!”


    “FUCK!” Nick screams, and a shampoo bottle flies past the curtain. He slips, catching himself on the shower curtain rod. “Jules!”


    I’mughing so hard that I can barely breathe. “Did you just throw shampoo at me?”


    He yanks the curtain back, soap in his hair, ring at me. “Woman, you trying to give me a heart attack?”


    “Your scream!” I wheeze. “So high-pitched!”


    “You scared the shit out of me!” But he’s starting tough too. “What are you doing back? Trying to assassinate your boyfriend?”


    “ire sent me home. Apparently, showing up and looking like I’ve been mauled is frowned upon.”


    His eyes rake over me, taking in my backward sweater and my destroyed appearance. “Mauled, huh?”


    “See for yourself.” I turn my head, showing him the hickey.


    “Mmm.” He looks genuinely surprised. “Are you sure I did that?”


    I narrow my eyes at him. “Unless there’s a ghost trying to suck my neck off, pretty sure. Seems our body shots got a little too enthusiastic.”


    “Apologies.”


    I meet his eyes. “Don’t. I liked it.”


    “You like being marked by me?” Something shifts in his expression.


    “Yes,” I say. “Oh, look, my sweater’s on backward.”


    “It is,” he agrees, voice lower now as I pull it off of me.


    “And these jeans are yesterday’s.” I unbutton them, letting them fall to the floor.


    “We can’t have that.”


    “I should probably shower.” I unhook my bra, watching his eyes trail over me. “You know, to save water and all.”


    “Environmental conservation is very important,” he manages.


    I step out of my panties and into the shower with him. “Hi.”


    “Hi.” His hands immediately find my waist, pulling me under the spray. “This okay?”


    “More than okay,” I mutter. “Turn around. Let me help you wash your hair.”


    He turns, and I work the shampoo through his hair, my nails scratching his scalp. He groans, leaning back into me.


    “That feels incredible.”


    “Just wait,” I whisper, pressing myself against his back.


    “Jules”—his voice is strained—“we should talk about this.”


    “We have,” I say, and he turns to face me.


    He cups my face, water streaming over both of us. “You haven’t changed your mind?”


    “No.” I’m honest. “I want you here. I want to explore this. And I know we have forty-one days to figure it out.”


    “Forty days until Halloween,” he adds. “When we make our real decision.”


    “The clock is ticking.” I grab my body wash and a loofah. “Now, are you going to help me get clean or just stand there, looking pretty?”


    He takes the scrubber and brushes it over my body. “Definitely helping.”


    Nick is everywhere, and he doesn’t miss an inch. I shiver when he touches my hip bones, and then I carefully trace my ribs with his strong hands. Thevender scent of my body wash mixes with the steam, and I realize waiting to have all of him will be the longest, sweetest torture of my life. No way he’ll give me everything I want right now. This is a game for both of us.


    “For the record,” he says against my ear, his voice mixing with the sound of water hitting tiles, “I’m creating my own list with you.”


    Iugh as his hands find a particrly sensitive spot. “Really?”


    “Yes.” He presses my back against the cool tiles.


    His mouth captures mine as the water cascades over his back, and I forget everything except the feel of him against me. His other fingers thrust into my hair, tilting my head back to deepen the kiss.


    “Nick,” I whisper when he moves to my neck, carefully avoiding the hickey, but he licks around it.


    “Tell me to stop,” he says against my skin.


    “I can’t.”


    His hands explore everywhere, and he learns what makes me gasp, what makes me grip his shoulders tighter. When his fingers find exactly where I need them, he slides two inside, and my knees nearly buckle. It feels so good.


    A moan escapes me as he continues to work me. My legs tremble with anticipation as he brings me to the edge.


    “I’ve got you,” he mutters, his other arm solid around my waist.


    “This is not how I imagined it,” I manage.


    “Want me to stop?” His fingers slow their perfect rhythm.


    “Don’t you fucking dare.”


    He grins against my neck, picking up the pace until I’m shaking, nearly biting his shoulder to keep from screaming. The orgasm rushes through me, and I clench against his fingers.


    “Mmm. How was it?”


    “Better than I imagined,” I whisper.


    When I finallye back to reality, he’s holding me up, looking entirely too pleased with himself.


    “Another one off your list,” he says.


    “I want to make you feel good too,” I tell him.


    “It’s not about me,” he says, cing his fingers in his mouth. “It satisfies me to satisfy you. Plus, you’re exhausted.”


    “Yes, but—” I whisper.


    “You have a hard time epting things. I’m a giver, Jules.”


    “I am too. I’m not used to people putting me first. It makes me feel ufortable.”


    “I’ll help you work through it,” he says as he steps out of the shower and grabs us both towels. I turn off the water, and he helps dry me off. “I n to spoil you.”


    “We’ve already talked about this.” All I can do is shake my head, but I’m smiling.


    “Yes, and you said nothing expensive. My range of expensive is at a much higher tier than yours, so I agreed.”


    My hands run up his chest, and he wraps his arm around me. His body is still warm from the hot shower.


    “What?” he asks.


    “Nothing,” I say, questioning how right this feels.


    “Tell me.”


    “You want rtionship advice, but so far, I have none. I get why women are so devastated when you leave them. You’re easy to fall for.”


    “Are you falling for me?” Nick asks, bending down to kiss me.


    “So far, it’s just a hookup situation.”


    He nibbles on my bottom lip.


    “You always test-drive the car before you buy it,” I tell him, moving to my bedroom.


    Nick follows behind me, checking his phone while I drop the towel to put on clean clothes.


    “Wow,” he says, his eyes sliding up and down my body. “I want to worship you.”


    I grin back at him, sliding on a pair of panties and a tank top. I open the window, allowing the cool autumn breeze to flow in. Every once in a while, I can smell the funnel cakes being made at the food truck on the corner.


    “Oh, is this your balcony?” he says, opening the doors and moving outside. He notices the brick wall that secludes us from the waist down. “This is why it’s on your list. Got to tell you though, during a parade is ballsy.”


    “The Halloween one ising up,” I tell him. “It starts at dark.”


    His eyes stay focused on me. “It’s a date.”


    Nick’s phone vibrates and he looks at it again as he moves closer to me.


    “Shit,” he mutters.


    “Something wrong?”


    “Asher texted. Apparently, photos from the festival made it onto some gossip blog.” He shows me his phone.


    The headline reads Hockey Heartbreaker Nick Banks Cozies Up with Small-Town Barista.


    Below are three photos. One is of us kissing after his speech, him wiping whipped cream off my nose, and one where I’m looking at him like he hung the moon.


    “Thements,” Nick says. “Don’t read them.”


    Of course, I scroll down.


    She’s pretty but so ordinary for him.


    Gold-digger alert.


    He could do so much better!


    Why is he slumming it in some small town?


    Did he knock her up? Is that why?


    Life isn’t fair.


    My stomach drops. It’s worse than what I thought.


    “Hey.” Nick takes his phone back. “Don’t. They don’t know our situation. They don’t know us.”


    “It doesn’t look like anyone wants us together,” I say, trying to sound unaffected.


    “They will never like anyone I’m with. Ever. You’re gorgeous, and haters will try to tilt your crown. Don’t let it get to you, okay? All that matters is you and me and what we think.”


    “Okay,” I say. “What do you think?”


    “Forever might be nice,” he says.


    I crack a smile and pull on yoga pants and a sweater.


    Nick sits on my bed, watching me. “When’s thest time you took a real day off and just rested?”


    I try to think. “Um …”


    “Exactly.” His hands rub my hips. “Spend today catching up on sleep. I’m going to get us breakfast. Real food, not just coffee and croissants.” He kisses me. “I’ll send a car for you at seven.”


    “A car?”


    “Trust me.” He stands. “You need actual sleep if we’re going to be upte tonight.”


    “Ooh, what does that mean?” I ask.


    “Tonight is our secret,” he says.


    “Absolutely,” I say.


    The anticipation of what he has in store is almost too much. Because this, us, whatever we’re doing—it’s ours. Just ours. The rest of the world doesn’t need to know the details.


    The town thinks we’re dating, but they don’t need to know about our situation behind closed doors, about the list, about what really happens when we’re alone.


    Am I already breaking rules by wanting to shout from the rooftops that Nick Banks just gave me an orgasm in my shower?


    “So pretty.” He kisses me once more.


    “Should I wear a dress? Jeans? A parka?” I ask.


    “Yes,” he says.


    “Nick!”


    “Wear whatever makes youfy. But we’ll be outside.”


    “Oh. Hmm.” I think about it, wondering what he could’ve nned so fast.


    His grin is wicked. “I’ll be back with food in thirty minutes. You’d better be in bed.”


    “Yes, sir,” I say, and he rolls his eyes. “Yes, Daddy?”


    I hear his chuckle as he takes the stairs.


    I close my eyes, reying what happened in the shower, squeezing my thighs together at the thought of him touching me.


    Fifteen minutester, the sound of the door creaking open wakes me. Nick takes the stairs up to my room and appears in my bedroom doorway with a bag from the diner.


    “Marge made a hangover special.”


    “I’m not hungover.”


    “No?” He sets the food on my nightstand.


    “Okay, yes, I am.”


    He smirks. “Fuck, you’re beautiful.”


    The way he says it makes heat pool in my stomach.


    “If you don’t stop looking at me like that …”


    “Eat, then sleep.” He sits on the edge of my bed, watching me unpack the container.


    “You’re being very bossy.”


    “You like it.” He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. “Someone needs to take care of you. When’s thest time you let anyone do that?”


    The question catches me off guard. Craig never … he expected me to take care of him. To be avable when he wanted, absent when he didn’t.


    “Hey,” Nick says softly. “Where’d you go?”


    “Just thinking.”


    “About?”


    “How different you are from what I expected.”


    “Better or worse?”


    “Just different.” I take a bite of the eggs. “A good different. You make me realize how much I settled for.”


    “Yeah?” Nick’s face softens. “Eat. Sleep. Don’t think about the past.”


    “Jealous?”


    “Of your exes?” Heughs like they’re a joke. “No. Who has you right now?” He leans in, kissing me slowly.


    “You,” I say, and we linger a little longer before he pulls away.


    “See you at seven o’clock,” he says, standing before this goes too far, too fast. “The car will text you when it’s outside.”


    “Nick?”


    “Yeah?”


    “No regrets about this morning?”


    “Are you kidding me? The sound you make when youe, it’s on my highlight reel.” His eyes darken. “Dream about what I’m going to do to youter.”


    I literally kick my feet when I hear him leave. How is this my life?


    After he’s gone, I eat the massive breakfast—scrambled eggs, bacon, hash browns, and toast. I scroll through my phone, looking at all the photos the book club has posted of Nick. Their Insta has turned into a fan club.


    Nick


    You’re bing the best part of my day.


    Julie


    I feel the same.


    I fall asleep, smiling, keeping our secret safe, knowing that, in a few hours, we’ll be together again.


    Forty-one days of secret touches and crossed-off lists.


    Forty days until our Halloween decision.


    This man may be the death of me. But, oh, what a way to go.