AXEL


    I had hurt her, caused her pain when I said that was the only thing I would never do. I had promised her in the car two years ago, and this is where we were.


    “I remember,” I whispered, leaning my forehead on hers. “I remember everything.”


    How could I say I care about her, and yet I hurt her? What kind of monster was I?


    “Leave, Axel,” she said, turning her forehead away from mine and resting it on the table.


    Despite my actions, I couldn’t bring myself to leave her. Her presence made it easier for me to breathe.


    “I can’t,” I muttered, hating the words as they came out of my mouth. “Let me take care of you first. I did this and so let me make it right. Please.”


    She said nothing, just kept her head turned away, and I took that as the answer I needed. I stood up, going around her. I stood over her, looking down at what I’ve done and I wanted to drive a knife through my heart.


    I didn’t deserve to touch her. I didn’t deserve to be here, but I was too selfish to leave, and I had to make this right somehow. I couldn’t lose her again. What point would living be if I had her only to let her slip away again? What kind of fool would I be?


    I carefully picked her up, mindful of where she was hurting, and carried her to her room. I ced her on the bed with her back up, looking around the room and trying to figure out what to do.


    “There’s ointment in the top drawer,” she said, her voice muffled by the pillow her face was buried in.


    I applied the ointment on her bottom and she hissed, fisting the pillow.


    “I’m sorry,” I whispered as I continued.


    “Leave,” she said without looking at me when I was done.


    I stood up, my chest tight to the point of pain as I watched her. She kept her face buried in the pillow, not once looking up as I left.


    I got to my car, my hands tight around the steering wheel, my chest heaving. I hit the steering wheel. Once. Twice. Three times. My hands were shaking. Throbbing with pain. It was hard to breathe. I wanted to cause myself pain, seeing as I caused her pain. I wanted to suffer. I wanted to be punished.


    12:56 Tue, 9 Sept


    But…


    But I had to make it right. I had to make this all right. I couldn’t lose her again. I might really go mad


    then.


    I needed her more than I needed to breathe. If she needed the world, I would bring it to her. If she needed blood, I’d spill it. I’d burn for her if that’s what it took. I would make her see I wasn’t a monster. That I could be gentle. I could learn to love in a less… mad way.


    I could learn to be human.


    For her. All for her. My ruin, and obsession.


    ***


    ROSETTE


    My phone ringing was what jolted me out of a dreamless sleep. I sighed as I searched blindly for the phone without wanting to open my eyes. Finally, I found it, answering it without looking at the caller’s <ol><li></li></ol>


    “Rosette!” Sofia. “Are you okay? Did you get home safely? Did that madman do anything to you? Should I call the police? Why the hell aren’t you answering?!”


    I groaned softly, pressing my fingers to my temple. “I would answer if you gave me a chance to.”


    “You have the chance now. Speak.”


    “I’m fine. I just have a headache, but that was from the clubst night.”


    “But you didn’t drink anything.”


    “The noise and smell there are enough for a headache.”


    I could feel her rolling her eyes. “Who was that man yesterday? Do you really know him?”


    Bratman


    Whatever light mood I had quickly evaporated. I remembered the looks in his eyes. It was madness first, then his eyes became dead, panic followed, and then pain and regret.


    It was too much. Too much for both of us.


    “You still there?”


    I shook my head, releasing a breath. “Yes. Yes, I’m here. And I know him. I’ve known him for two years.”


    12:56 Tue, 9 Sept


    “Who is he?”


    I hesitated, but this was Sofia. There was no hesitation between us. “Someone who used to be


    special.”


    “Used to? Girl, I could hear it in your voice, and I know that man isn’t a past tense.”


    To that I said nothing, just stared nkly at the wall.


    Sofia sighed, and I heard her shift. “I’ll be there in an hour.”


    She ended the call, and I tossed my phone, sighing heavily.


    Axel…


    “What happened to you?” I whispered to the ceiling, but no reply came.


    He had looked so different, so unlike the Axel I knew. He looked dull and tired. He looked like his light


    went out.


    And I was the cause…?


    “I’m sorry.”


    I shifted, about to sit up when a piercing pain passed through my bottom. I hissed, staying still.


    “Fuck.”


    It hurt even worse than yesterday.


    I wasn’t so sorry anymore. I got off the bed with just a little pain, sighing when I saw I slept in the gown I worest night. It was so ufortable, so not me. I wore pants, not gowns that revealed more than they covered.


    I was about to take it off when the doorbell rang. Sofia? That was quick.


    <span>I he


    aded to the door, already eager to offload on my best friend, but when I opened the door there