hapter 111


    “It took a while for me toe to terms with it. Sylvie as well. In some ways, it felt like I was losing Aimee all over again, having to let go of that guilt. I guess you have to decide if Christina is worth it. It’s not easy. For me, Sylvie was worth it. And I guess I was worth it for her too.”


    Thankfully, I didn’t have too much time to dwell on it before Strength ss and since I knew Christina had something nned, I was ready for the challenge. I had wondered if she was going to switch to wolf form. As a female, she has an advantage in that form that males don’t. Most she–wolves, especially Alphas, are much more agile than their male counterparts. It’s part of what we train in our sparring when we go wolf to wolf. She–wolves can use their agility to their advantage to take out arger, stronger male wolf.


    As usual, Christina didn’t disappoint. Other than making sure she didn‘ t get in her head at the ice challenge, she rocked that Beast. All it did was reinforce the strength of my feelings for her. I haven’t felt so proud of anyone since Ryan got first ce on the leaderboard..


    It was a good day all around with three of the six young Alphas. defeating the beast and the instructor they challenged, since Ezra defeated Daniel after Christina defeated me,


    The rest of the day went by in a blur and before I knew it, it was dinner time. I’ve struggled with it all day, but I know it’s only fair to give Christina the token forst night. She earned it. Hell, she deserves the whole fucking <b>bag </b>of them for that orgasmst night. I’ve broken her down, watched her fall apart for me, and then carefully put her back together. But this time, she’d broken me down.


    11


    I’d felt shattered and vulnerable, and she’d held me while I pulled myself back together. THAT had never happened before. Suzanne had never made me feel so exposed, never made me explode sopletely that all that was left was me, bare to the world.


    But that’s exactly what Christina did and then she’d patiently helped me piece myself back together again. And that’s where the guilt hade from. How could a woman that I’ve only known a couple of years strip me of everything so easily when my own mate never could. When I forced myself to think about the answer. I didn’t like it. James is right, I need to decide if Christina is worth me giving up Suzanne all over again. Although somewhere deep down, I already know that she is. If she wasn’t, my wolf wouldn’t be trying to im her.


    I’m sure the others realize that I’m unusually quiet at dinner, but thankfully, no one says anything. Afterward, James stands and excitedly announces that he has some ten–point tokens to give out. We all p as he gives Tyler and Christina two cach, one for defeating an Alpha on the Beast and one for them being first toplete in different forms. Ezra earns his ten points for defeating Daniel and then another ten points when Charlotte announces that he gave her an orgasm through touch. Tyler earns another ten when Haley says he gave her an oral orgasm and then the others begin giving out individual tokens.


    When it’s my turn, I hand out the ones that I have for others, saving Christina forst. I see her smile as I walk toward her. I hand her the first one easily.


    “For the bestpetition I’ve had on the Beast in a very long time,” I say, watching her smile get bigger.


    Then I stare at the next one, fighting against myself and my guilt. “For the best orgasm of my life,” I say, finally handing her the coin. I watch her head tilt, and a small frown crease her brow, but I don’t wait.


    11


    While the others are howling for Christina, I head back to my seat. seeing James watching me closely.


    When all of the coins are given out, I stand to leave, feeling raw all over again.


    “Fifteen minutes, Sebastian?” Christina asks, walking over.


    “Not tonight, Christina. Tonight’s not a good night. We’ll talk tomorrow,” I tell her, quickly making my escape. I’m feeling too raw with this guilt wing at my insides.


    I get to my room and pour myself a bourbon, shooting the first ss down and then pouring a second, drinking it more slowly.


    I’m not at all surprised when I hear the knock at my door. I sigh and open it for her. She’s still dressed in the same clothes she was wearing at dinner.