**Paige’s POV **
My chest tightens as I look at Ryder. This man once meant everything to me. Now he is a stranger with a familiar face.
I want to hate him. I should hate him. But for some reason, I can’t.
Not when he looks at me with those eyes, so warm and kind, just like my son’s.
I wipe the tears from my face with a shaky breath.
“Start talking,” I demand.
“I’m trying. I just… I don’t know where to even start,” Ryder sighs.
He moves, sitting on the floor in front of me. Callen sits too. He looks just as interested in what Ryder has to say as me. Did Ryder not tell him this story? Did he never tell Callen about me? I’m not sure why, but that thought hurts.
“How about right after I fell asleep in the tent, right before you left me there alone,” I say, my toneing out more bitter than I’d intended.
“I fell asleep with you in my arms. I was happy, Paige. Happier than I’d ever been in my entire life. It’s still my most treasured memory. My happiest moment. One rey every day,” he says, closing his eyes with the ghost of a smile, as if he is remembering the feel of me in his arms.
More tears roll down my face and I brush them away quickly. He doesn’t deserve my tears. “So, why did you leave me? What changed?”
“I woke up <i>to </i>the rain hitting the tent. It sounded so bad, but you were warm and safe, sleeping peacefully. So Iy there, listening to it, and the sound of your heart beating steadily as I held you. Then there was this intense pain in my back. At first, I thought maybe I’d been so high on endorphins that I hadn’t noticed a small rock digging into my back. I had to move. To stretch. So I left the tent. I’m not sure how long it took, because it felt like years, but the pain got worse as each of my bones broke, to reform into something else. I had no idea what was happening, and I was so scared. When the pain finally stopped, I was in a different body. A wolfs body. I swear to you, I didn’t know what I was, otherwise I never would have… I wouldn’t have taken things so far with you. You have to believe me when I tell you how much I wanted you. I saw my future with you. You were all I ever wanted, but my future was stolen from me that night,” he exins.
His words make me feel sick. I can’t imagine how terrifying that must have been. To just wake up and turn into something from a nightmare,
“Sh*t, Rye, that’s rough,” Callen breathes.
“You went through all that alone?” I whisper, a shaky anding up to cover my mouth.
“I had to,” he nods.
“No. You didn’t.” I shake my head. “I was right there. Why didn’t you wake me? I could have helped you,” I cry, not caring that I sound angry, because I am.
“I left because I thought I was protecting you. I didn’t know what I was capable of, and I didn’t think you would want me around. That you would think me a monster. I guess I was right about that part,” he says
with a dejected sigh.
My heart aches at his words. He’s right, isn’t he? When had seen him shift between beast and man earlier, I had called him a monster. I hadn’t handled it well at all Passed out even.
Would I have handled it any better when I was 18?
Probably not.
“I’m sorry,” I breathe.
“You have nothing to be sorry for. You did nothing wrong. It’s me that needs to apologise. I shouldn’t have left you like that. I should havee back and checked on you. I should have made sure you were okay, maybe tried to exin that it was nothing you did. Then I’d have known you were carrying my child. I could have been there for you and him. I’ll never forgive myself for that mistake.”
“I hated you some days. I was so alone, wondering what I did wrong. Why I wasn’t enough to make you stay. Trying to raise a baby and my teenage sister, when I was barely an adult myself, was hard, but I never regretted Jaxon. He’s my world. You broke my heart when you left, but you left me with the greatest gift.”
“You did a great job with him. It’s clear he is happy and healthy. Thriving. Why did you have to raise your sister?”
“My parents died the day after Jaxon was born,” I say, sucking in a shaky breath. The pain of losing them feels as fresh as it did that first week.
“Shit. Paige, I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine how tough that must have been. Cal said your sister is at university now… You did a good job raising them both. I wish I had been there, but I’m here now. You never have to be alone again,” he says, and his tone sounds hopeful, which just annoys me.
“You don’t get to just walk back into my life, Rye. I’m not the same girl you left almost seven years ago. I don’t need you. We don’t need you.” I shake my head,
“Jaxon needs me. Please don’t try to take him away. Don’t make him go through what I did, with no idea who or what he is. Stay with me, Paige, with us.”
“No. You don’t get to ask me that. You don’t get to walk away and then demand I stay when it suits you. I have a life. A husband that I still need to deal with. You can’t bulldoze your way back in and tell me that my life is a lie. That my son, who I grew within my human body, is not fully human.”
“He is still the same boy you love. He is yours and mine. Which means he needs us both. When his wolf wakes, he will need us there to guide him. If my pack is not there to help him…”
“I’ve been guiding him just fine without you,” I snap.
“I know. You’ve done everything right, but this part… this part is different. He’s going to need his pack,” he says gently, as if sensing just how close I am to blowing up.
“The issues he had at his previous school, that’s because of what he is. He needs a pack around him, to ground him, otherwise he will only struggle more as he gets older,” Callen adds, and for a moment I had forgotten he was even here.
I nce towards the staircase, envisioning Jaxon’s smil. His joy at meeting Ryder. The easy way he epted all of this was like it was the most natural thing in the world to him.
“Does he know? Has he figured it out?” I ask.
“He feels it. His instincts are strong. He knows he is different, and he senses we are the same as him, that we are his pack. When the timees, it won’t be a gentle awakening. He’ll feel rage, confusion, fear. If he doesn’t have the right people around him, it could destroy him,” Callen exins.
The words send ice through my veins. Can I really risk my son dealing with that?
“It didn’t destroy Ryder…” I say, more tofort myself than anything, but Ryder responds anyway.
“Notpletely, but it did destroy my foster parents‘ lives. I almost killed them, Paige,” he admits, and dread pools in my gut.
“What happened?” I dare to ask.
“I don’t remember much. I don’t want to remember it, but there is someone who does know. He got there just in time to save them, and me. He will tell you if you really want to know,” Ryder says, and I nod. I won’t push him for information he’d rather forget.
I look down at my hands, unable to speak for a moment. My heart aches with old wounds and now with fresh ones. A part of me wants to scream, to fight and run, and never look back. But the other part, the part that would do anything for Jaxon, that saw the way he lit up when Ryder hugged him, tells me that maybe there’s still something worth salvaging. Even if it’s just for Jax.
“I need some time to process all of this. To figure out what’s best for Jax. For me,” I say quietly.
“Take all the time you need. Just let us be here. Let us show you what life here can be like,” Ryder says.
I look at Ryder now and see the raw emotion behind his eyes. The hope and the desperation bleed from him. My eyes shift to Callen, who is silent for once. His cheeky grin has gone, reced by a clenched jaw and intense stare. He has his arms crossed over his chest, and I sense he’s hiding something.
“This package deal thing… it’s not happening. I’m not like you. That doesn’t happen in my world. You don’t get to im me like some object you can own,” I say, and watch as Callen’s posture sags.
“You’re not. It’s not like that. Think of it more like a marriage, but without the ceremony and all the paperwork. It’s a bond, the strongest of connections. Soulmates, fated mates, true mates….Call it whatever you need to make it easier for you. You can deny it, and we won’t force it, but it’s there, and it’s real,” Callen says, his voice softer than I expected.
“That’s not making it any better,” I shake my head. “I don’t want real. I want normal, and to be with both of you, that is not normal.”
“Normal doesn’t exist for people like us,” Ryder says.
I press my forehead against my knees and let out a long breath. I’m so tired. So overwhelmed. I just want to go home, but as I sit here surrounded by monsters who aim they care, I realise something.
Jaxon belongs in this world now, and whether I like it or not, that means I do too.