Lydia


    I woke up feeling sore all over. My head felt heavy, but my heart felt heavier. Her words were still in my head. I couldn’t push them out. I had barely gotten enough sleep.


    <b>“</b>The kidneys don’t match.”


    That wasn’t the only reason why I felt this way. It was her solution. None of the three kidneys matched Mnie’s, so I understood her frustration. I’m not happy about it either.


    However, her solution was even more displeasing..


    I stayed up after our conversation, which would be more correctly referred to as a fight. Her words were stuck in my head, and so were mine. I ended up tossing and turning all through the night and finally fell asleep.


    I wore my slide and stood, taking a minute to steady my head, which was spinning. I walked into the bathroom and stood in front of the mirror. My eyes are bloody red.


    My lower lip disappeared under my mouth as I stared at the dark circles under my eyes. Stretching and yawning, I took my first step and soon stood in front of the shower.


    The cold water hit my skin, and I stood there hoping it would wash away my distress. By the time I walked out of my room, it was past 7 am.


    The front door opened and closed as I walked to the kitchen. That was Mom, I knew, but I didn’t say anything. I don’t go after her or try to stop her. I couldn’t.


    Liam and Mnie will be down for breakfast in a while, and I want to have breakfast ready before then. It felt as though I got a pinch in my chest when I remembered my babies.


    I held on to the sink and tried to steady <b>myself </b>so I wouldn’t fall. My head is spinning.


    No, I needed to do something to forget aboutst night. My eyes were beginning to blur with tears, so I tried to push them off. But ! couldn’t for long. My legs hurt, and I sat on the cold floor, crying my eyes out.


    It took a while to get myself back on my feet. I needed something to distract myself from my thoughts, so I swung into action.


    I walked to the refrigerator and opened it, pulling out some vegetables. I ced them neatly on the sink and washed them. Taking down the chopping board, I set it on the table. I was done in the next hour.


    I walked into their room to see Liam sitting close to Mnie’s bed, staring at her, her eyes <b>were </b>closed.


    “Ssshh?” He ced one finger on his mouth. I made a zip motion with my finger and walked to stand close to him. I felt the suffocating feeling in my chest one more tighe, so I reminded myself to breathe.


    In, out.


    In, out.


    I ced my knees on the floor and plopped my face with my hand, supporting my jaw.


    at


    Mnie <b>was </b><b>asleep</b><b>, </b>her hair scattered on the bed like a basket, her lips pouting as her chest rose and fat love the sight live in It forever if I get the chance to.


    <b>“</b>She’s beautiful.” He whispered, and I nodded.


    “Yes, of course she is, she looks like me,” I said. My voice came out as a hush as I was trying to do what he wished.


    Liam shook his head, he turned to me, his hair covering one eye of his face. I brushed it, it was one of my favourite things about him. He is handsome, too handsome, I can’t wait to see him grow up, and I know I’ll have a duty to chase girls away from him.


    “She doesn’t look like you, Mom,” Liam whispered, leaning closer. He turned to look at her, then returned his gaze to me.


    “She looks like the man from the hospital.” He added and then assumed his earliest position, supporting his jaws with his hands.


    I don’t ask him who the man is He is right. Mnie looks so <b>much </b>like Mason, and Liam looks like me. Sometimes, I wish they <b>were </b>identical twins. That way, even if they meet with Mason, he won’t be able to tell they are his. I could easily tell him that the twins are for his stepdad.


    When he first told me about seeing someone who looks like Mnie, I thought it would be Mason, but it couldn’t be. I’ve been doing a good job protecting them from


    The n to get my revenge on Mason without introducing the twins to him still stands.


    Later, when we were having breakfast, I tried all I could to hold a smile on my face all through. Mnie and Liam chatted as they


    I picked up my food with my fork, pushing the pie around my te. There was no way Mom did that. I twisted <i>my </i>lips, biting my lower lip. I closed my eyes to stop the tears.


    *Mom, Mnie said you changed your mind.” Liam’s voice jolted me out of my reverie. I moved my attention towards my twins.


    “What?”


    “You aren’t chickening out of hanging out with us, right?”


    *Will Marcus be there?” Mnie asked<b>, </b>cing a spoonful of food in her mouth.”


    “Yes. He promised.” Liam said. Then his eyes fell on something on Mnie’sp, “Mnie, what’s that on yourp?” He asked her gently.


    “Huh?” <b>I </b>watched as Mnie adjusted in her seat.


    Liam wasn’t letting it go. He stood from his chair and began walking towards her. “Mom, I think Mnie has a bar of chocte. Give it here, it’s too early to have one.” He extended his hand.


    Mnie was on her <b>feet </b>before he got to <b>her</b><b>, </b>exposing the bar of chocte.


    She shook her head, “I won’t. It’s mine.” She said<b>. </b>


    <b>She </b>ran around the table, and he did the same, staying behind her all along.


    “Mom, if Mnie has a bar of chocte, I’ll have one, too. He turned to her, “I can believe you didn’t get one out for me.” He said. Mnie stuck out her tongue at him.


    7


    10:58 Sat, 2 Aug


    I watched them run along the table without <b>saying </b>anything to stop them. I want to tell Mnie to stop. To <b>give </b>him the chocte, or tell Liam to stop running after her.


    But I didn’t.


    I couldn’t. They were my life, what if I don’t get to watch this part of them anymore? That thought scared shit out of me.


    I called Mia and had everything on my schedule cancelled. I want to spend time with my <b>twins</b>. We went to the park. I took them around, we yed different games, and had so much fun. At one point, I stood by the side and just watched them y.


    Marcus joined us two hourster, bearing gifts for the children.


    “Hey!” He greeted after hugging Mnie and Liam.


    -Hi.” I tried to make my voice firm and pretend like I hadn’t just spent the past hour holding myself together from breaking down.


    “You’re good?” He asked, and I shrugged my shoulders. “Yes,” I said with a smile.


    “You don’t look like it.” He said.


    “You cleared your entire schedule?” I asked, trying to change the conversation


    “I see what you’re doing.” He said, “I didn’t. I just…” he sighed, “I didn’t have anything scheduled for today. Let’s say I just got lucky.” He joined me on the mat I had across the floor.


    There are fruits and snacks. “You don’t need to lie.” I sent him a knowing smile. He’s never less busy. He always had something to do. My eyes are pinned on my twins. They were ying with other kids, yet I couldn’t let them out of my sight.


    “What’s wrong?” He asked. I could feel his eyes on the side of my face.


    “huh?” I peel my eyes away from the twins briefly.


    “You aren’t yourself.” He said.


    “I’m just tired.” I lied. But he isn’t stupid. Of course, he knew that was a lie and didn’t buy that. Well, I <b>wasn’t </b>ready to share.


    Aside from Mia, Mom, and 1, no one knew about Mnie’s kidney condition. There was no way I could tell him that my mother had found a kidney, but someone would have to die if Mnie got it.


    It was basically taking away the <b>life </b>of another, simply because we have the means, and that’s something I won’t do,


    I’m grateful she found another kidney, but getting that kidney would mean the little boy whose parents found it first would be left to die. That led to a heated argument between me and my mom.


    I want to save Mnie, but I won’t do it at the expense of another. I can’t.


    We still have enough time to get a kidney. If took all in me to control myself <b>while </b>I spoke to Momst night.


    But I lost it when she didn’t understand my point. Maybe where I got her was when I told her that Mnie was my child before her grandchild, and she wouldn’t take whati don’t ept.


    She called me a horrible mother before going to bed.


    And <b>maybe </b>she is right, I truly am terrible. My child could die, and I was thinking of another.


    10:58


    “Hey!” Marcus ced his hand on the small of my back and gestured with his head for me to look behind me, I did, and was surprised to see my Mom.


    “Whatever this is, you should talk it out. I’ll give you time.” Marcus said, then he walked away, as Mom walked over.