hapter 157
<b>Chapter </b><b>157 </b>
The neon lights above dimmed gradually, and everything around seemed to quiet down.
The silk tie grew damp, little by little.
She and Julian were finally over.
In the distance, Julian stood under the soft glow of the streetlights just like he used to–elegant and poised. He silently watched Willow, watching her standing there alone.
<b>“</b>Willow, I lied to you again. I said, if Jeffrey has it, I need to have it, too. But how could I be like anyone else? Even if <b>it’s </b>goodbye, it has to be different.
“Deep down<b>, </b><b>I </b>want you to always remember me to remember the way the wind smelled like me tonight<b>, </b>to remember that <b>I </b>gave you more than just pain and tears.
<b>“</b>Willow<b>, </b>no matter how hard it is, it’s time for us to truly go our separate ways. Willow, I’m giving your life back to you now.”
Julian turned and walked away.
He lit a cigarette, brought it to his lips with trembling fingers, and took a drag. He told himself that this was it. They would part on good terms. He would set her free.
The pale smoke was thest warmth he left her.
Julian cried.
A shimmer appeared at the corner of his eye–tears that had never fallen before.
He walked quickly through the crowd under the fading neon lights. He wiped at his face as he went, thinking, “I’m Julian Ziegler. How could I cry? I must be hallucinating.”
He knew he couldn’t have his cake and eat it, too. He shouldn’t be regretful, right?
He would have no regrets.
But deep down, a voice echoed, “Julian, happiness was right there within reach. Do you even know what love is, Julian?
“That day at Yarrowmere, when you told Willow maybe Snowy liked Dad more–that moment, that was love between you and Willow. All those times in her apartment? How could that not be love?
“It had never beenpletely emotionless. Feelings do grow with time. But there was no going back now..
“Julian, if you had another chance, would tonight still end this way<b>? </b>If you had another chance<b>, </b>you would never have let Willow lose her ability to have children because of you.
“At least when she left, she wouldn’t have to suffer from others judging her. She wouldn’t hold onto it so tightly.
“Julian, if you had another chance, you would have found a way to make her a little happier. <b>So</b><b>, </b>even if you parted, when she looked back, it would be filled with good memories.”
One city–with two people heading in opposite directions.
Julian drove to Lake Tolpond. He sat in the car, smoking for half the night.
Later, he bought a whole bundle of sparklers.
By the edge of Lake Tolpond, surrounded by colorful neon lights, he stood in what was his bted offering of love.
Only now did he truly understand that his feelings for Alicia had be nothing but guilt and obligation.
Before passing, Dominic left him a letter. “Julian, falling for somegne else isn’t shameful. I hope you’ll be honest with yourself.”
At the time, Julian didn’t take it seriously.
He liked Willow, but how could that be love? It was just an attraction between a man and a woman, just the bond of marriage.
That <b>was </b>all.
Now, he’d finally woken up.
Back then, the first time he saw Willow, he already liked her. But he convinced himself it was only because he wanted Alicia to be like her–healthy, confident, full of life.
The truth was, it was all his pride.
He just couldn’t ept that he could be so shallow as to fall for someone else. So, he kept making excuses<b>, </b>convincing himself.
However, the fact was that he had fallen for Willow a long time ago
It had always been Willow.
It had been Willow from the start.