I froze and looked up wildly into Alexander’s eyes, expecting to see him staring down at me with anger or lust or… well, anything in his gaze.


    But they were closed. And his chest was rising and falling steadily.


    He was still sleeping, somehow, but had thrown his arms around me and pulled me into bed with him. Perhaps, by identally tugging on the mate bond, I had triggered his body to reach for me.


    But I couldn’t have him waking up and finding me like this. It would be too difficult to exin.


    Carefully, slowly, I tried to shift my weight. Maybe if I could just ease out of his grip without disturbing him, I could slip away and he’d never know I’d been here. He’d think it was just a dream or his imagination ying tricks on him, if he even remembered anything at all.


    I managed to move about an inch before his eyes snapped open.


    For a second, we just stared at each other. His green eyes were unfocused at first, confused, but then they widened with recognition before narrowing with fury. He practically threw me off the bed after


    that.


    “What the fuck are you doing in my bed?” Alexander was on his feet in an instant, towering over me. “How did you get in here?”


    “I didn’t–I wasn’t–I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-” None of the words woulde out properly, not with my heart racing the way it was.


    “Didn’t mean to what?” Alexander advanced on me. “Break into my bedroom in the middle of the night?”


    <b>“</b>I wasn’t breaking in!” I stooped and picked up the bead, holding it up so he could see it. “I was chasing a bead and it rolled in here and then I picked it up and you grabbed me before I could leave!”


    Alexander blinked at the bead dazedly for a moment before he looked at me in disbelief.


    “It’s true,” I said, pocketing the bead. “I really didn’t mean toe in here.” I especially didn’t mean to tug on the mate bond, but I couldn’t say that out loud for obvious reasons. “Your arms shot out and pulled me into bed with you. I tried to slip away without waking you up, but I failed.”


    He stared at me for a long moment, and I began to fear the worst. Maybe he felt the mate bond and was starting to recognize me—unknowingly condemning himself to death, just like that poor farmer.


    But then he sagged back onto the edge of the bed with a heavy sigh and ran both of his hands through his hair.


    “I’m sorry,” he said.


    I pulled my head back in surprise. Alexander rarely apologized, but right now, he seemed genuinely


    contrite.


    <b>“</b><b>I </b>was dreaming,” he exined, gesturing to the bed. ““I was having this strange dream where <b>my </bte wife was still alive. We were in bed together and she was right there and I could touch her and –“He stopped himself, jaw clenching.


    Oh.


    Oh no.


    My throat constricted painfully. Right now, despite all of the hurt and history between us, I wanted nothing more than to tell him that it wasn’t a dream. That I was right here, that I was E, that he didn’t have to miss me because I hadn’t really gone anywhere.


    But I couldn’t. The farmer’s face shed through my mind. The newspaper clippings Lilith had shown me. All those people who had died because we told them the truth about our curse.


    “Anyway, my wolf must have gotten confused,” Alexander said, looking up at me. “I’ll admit it: you look like her. You even smell simr. He must have thought-” He shook his head. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to grab you like that. If I had been awake, I never would have done it.”


    My heart ached faintly at his words; he never would have done it had he been awake. Because if he had been awake, he would have been his usual cold self.


    “It’s fine,” I finally managed to say. “I understand. I shouldn’t have been in here in the first ce.”


    <b>I </b>couldn’t bear to be in there for a moment longer, looking at his bare chest and the haggard expression on Alexander’s face, so I quickly turned and left after that. Once the door was firmly shut behind me, I leaned against the corridor wall, pressing my hand to my racing heart.


    Alexander was dreaming about me. About E.


    Did he… Did he miss me after all?


    Or was it just as he said—a mistake made in sleep, nothing more? His subconscious briefly taking control while the rest of him really cared little for my death?


    I didn’t want to think about it anymore, so I shoved the notion down and pushed away from the wall. As I walked away, I almost swore I could hear a heavy sigh from within Alexander’s room.


    A few minutester, after preparing two cups of much–needed tea, I found Anya still sitting cross- legged on her bed with the dress and needle in her hands. She didn’t look up as I entered, too busy working diligently on the beading. <fn4ebb> Fresh chapters posted on find?novel</fn4ebb>


    <b>2/4 </b>


    “I think I found all the beads,” I said, setting down the cups then reaching into my pockets for the handfuls of beads. “And I made tea.” I dumped them all into the container and plopped down into the chair next to Anya’s bed with a heavy sigh, taking a few moments to sip my <b>tea</b>.


    “Thank you. You’re the best, Ste.” Anya smiled and looked up, reaching for her cup, but froze when she saw the expression on my face. “Everything alright? You look like you just saw a ghost.”


    If only I could tell her the truth about how I really felt right now. At this moment, I wanted to be able to open up about how broken and conflicted my heart felt.


    Despite everything, Alexander was still my mate. And although it shouldn’t have been possible in this new body, we still bore a ghost of our old mate bond. I’d thought for a long time that it was all in my head, but now I realized that he felt it just as much as I did.


    And I couldn’t help but wonder if he missed me. If that bond could be reformed.


    But even if he weren’t the cold and selfish bastard I’d thought he was, there was still no way we could ever be together. The E he knew was dead and the one who remained couldn’t tell him that she was right here, living and breathing as the Omega nanny who took care of his son.


    I could never tell Alexander the truth.


    Lilith was right; this was a lonely life that I would have to resign myself to. And there was no changing it. No breaking the curse that gued us.


    “Ste?” Anya leaned into my field of vision, and I realized I had been staring wistfully off into space, the cup of tea still steaming in my hands.


    “It’s nothing,” I lied, forcing a smile and shaking my head. “Let’s finish that dress, shall we?”