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    <b>Chapter 79 </b>


    E


    The pregnancy test results burned a hole in my pocket. Two pink lines on a small white stick, along with the officialb paperwork confirming what those lines meant.


    I was carrying Alexander’s child.


    For three days straight, I pulled that test out of my pocket and stared at it, trying to wrap my mind around the reality of what was growing inside of me. Three days of holding the proof in my hands white my husband avoided me like I had the gue.


    Three days of looking at the abortion pamphlet and trying to decide what the hell I was going to do.


    The first morning after our conversation about children, I’d woken to an empty bed and the distant sound of Alexander’s car leaving the driveway. He didn’t return until well after midnight, long after I’d already gone to bed.


    The pattern continued. Early departures,te returns, and absolutely zero interaction between us during his brief moments at home. If Alexander had been avoiding me before our night together, he was actively fleeing from me now.


    But despite his obvious revulsion at the idea of being a father, I couldn’t stop myself from imagining what it might be like. Late at night, when sleep wouldn’te, I’d find myself picturing a little boy with Alexander’s green eyes, or a girl with my eyes but his fiery red hair.


    I imagined teaching them to read in the garden, Lilith baking cookies for their birthdays, family dinners. I pictured Alexander lifting a toddler onto his shoulders.


    The fantasies were <i>so </i>vivid and achingly beautiful that I’d wake with tears on my cheeks and an emptiness in my chest that made me feel like I was drowning.


    But then reality woulde crashing back, just as it always did, when I would hear the subtle click of the door in the morning signalling Alexander’s departure.


    This wasn’t the situation I’d dreamed of when I used to think about having children. I’d always imagined it. would happen with a mate who loved me, in a household filled with warmth and security.


    Not with a husband who could barely tolerate my presence and a marriage that was destined to end in rejection.


    What kind of life would that be for a child? Growing up knowing their father had never wanted them? And that was assuming I even survived long enough for the baby to be born.


    Dr. Evelyn’s warnings echoed in my mind constantly. My body could barely support my own life right now


    <b>1/3 </b>


    how could I ask it to sustain another? The one night of passion we’d shared, resulting in this baby, might have given me a temporary boost in energy, but without Alexander’s mark toplete our mate bond, I would only get sicker as the months went on.


    I could die in childbirth. Or worse, I could die before the baby was even viable, taking an innocent life with <ol><li>me. </li></ol>


    “E, dear, you’ve been staring at that thing for an hour.”


    I looked up to find Lilith standing in the doorway of my bedroom, concern written across her features.


    “I don’t know what to do,” I admitted, setting the test back down on the vanity.


    Lilith came over and perched on the edge of my bed. “What does your heart tell you?”


    “That’s the problem. My heart wants this baby desperately, but my head knows it’s a terrible idea.” I rubbed my temples and sighed. “If I keep it, I could die. And even if I survive, what kind of mother would I be? Sick, weak, married to a man who doesn’t want either of us?”


    “Alexander might surprise you,” Lilith said gently. “Men often change their minds when faced with the reality of fatherhood.”


    I shook my head. “You didn’t see his face when I asked about children. He looked horrified at the very thought. And now he won’t even stay in the same house as me for more than a few hours at a time.”


    “Maybe he’s just processing-”


    “No.” I stood up abruptly and paced to the window, looking out at the driveway. His car was gone, just as it always was. “He made his feelings perfectly clear. The contract says no children, and Alexander always follows the rules when they benefit him.”


    Lilith was quiet for a moment. “So are you thinking of terminating the pregnancy?”


    The word felt like ss in my throat, but I choked out a small, “Yes.”


    I waited for Lilith to argue–perhaps I wanted her to–but instead she just nodded. “I understand. And I hope you know I support youpletely in this decision.”


    The unconditional eptance in her words nearly broke me. Once again, Lilith was the only person in my life who I could truly rely on to be there during my darkest moments. Hell, Liam hadn’t even been around since that rogue had kidnapped me. All I had was her, but I wouldn’t rather it be anyone else.


    I spent another sleepless night weighing my options. But by morning, my decision was made.


    I couldn’t bring a child into this situation. Not when my own health was so precarious, not when their father would see them as nothing more than an unwantedplication. A baby deserved better than what I could offer right now.


    11:38 Sat, 23 Aug


    The phone call to Dr. Evelyn was one of the hardest things I’d ever done.


    “I want to schedule the procedure,” I said without preamble when she answered.


    There was a pause. Then: “Are you sure, E? This isn’t a decision you can undo.”


    “I’m sure.” The lie came easily, even though I felt anything but certain. “When can we do it?”


    “How about Friday morning? That gives you a few more days to think it over if you change your mind.”


    Friday. Three days away. Three more days to second–guess myself, to imagine all the what–ifs and might-


    have–beens.


    “That’s fine,” I said. “What do I need to do to prepare?”


    Dr. Evelyn walked me through the pre–procedure instructions. When we hung up, I immediately asked Lilith if she woulde with me.


    “Of course,<i>” </i>she said without hesitation. “I’ll be right there with you, holding your hand the entire time.”


    The next three days passed in a haze. I found myself unconsciously cing my hand on my stomach, then forcing myself to stop. I caught myself looking at baby clothes in store windows during a trip to town, then quickly walking away before anyone could notice.


    All the while, Alexander remained conspicuously absent, which only confirmed that I was making the right choice. If he couldn’t even be in the same house as me when he thought I might want children, how would he react if he knew I was actually carrying his child?


    Friday morning arrived gray and drizzling, matching my mood perfectly. I’d barely slept the night before, my mind churning with doubts and fears and an undeniable sense of grief. I dressed in afortable pair of leggings and a sweater, but I made sure it was all ck.


    Lilith knocked on my bedroom door at exactly eight o’clock.


    “Ready?<i>” </i>she asked gently.


    I nodded, unable to speak. We walked downstairs together in silence, past Alexander’s empty office and out


    to the car.


    The


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