<h4>Chapter 362: It Fucking Hurt</h4>


    <strong>Lucian’s POV</strong>


    It seemed I had finally struck thest nerve he possessed.


    But, I did not care.


    "I can’t," I answered quietly, taking a deliberate step toward him. "We are brothers. We protect each other."


    "Fuck with this brotherhood," he snapped. His chest rose and fell with a deep breath, then another, as he tried to steady the tremor in his temper. "You have a mate, you are doing good. Why can’t you just let me be and focus on her? Why are you here after me? Want to kiss me again just to save me? Or rather fuck me?"


    "Rafe..."


    "So that you can go to her and tell her you did it again just to protect me? That how great are you to sacrifice your dignity into kissing and fucking another man just to save him? And then, it meant nothing to you at all, huh?" Other than anger, there was a hurt in his eyes. His voice rose in anger and frustration, "You don’t have to do anything for me either. Stop being my protector already. You don’t do things that you don’t mean, Luke. Don’t make me hate you."


    Gosh! My heart was beating at fullest, unsure how I had hurt him or rather I was the one hurt here.


    He heard it when I told Eira it meant nothing to me. That kiss was nothing. But yeah, it’s suppose to be that way, isn’t it? He wanted the same if I am not wrong.


    "I don’t mean it when I kissed you?" finally, I said, my jaw clenched, teeth gritted, "Who was the one to act like it meant nothing to him once it was over. Who was the to ignore me like I am some idiot to even kiss you?"


    "So it meant something to you?" he asked, anger still there.


    I was the same, angry and breathing heavy in frustration. "Just like it meant nothing to you."


    I didn’t know what I meant to say, or what he understood from what I said.


    We just stared at each other as if fighting in silence.


    "We are done," he said, "forever."


    <i>What does he mean? </i>I wondered.


    "Look," he said atst, lifting his gaze to meet mine. Other than anger, it carried earnest pleading. Desperation. "Just this once, alright? I need it this time. Please don’t spoil it for me. It was difficult to get it already."


    The words were almost calm, and he was still struggling to breathe evenly.


    He was adamant about taking that drug. And I was adamant about stopping him.


    He knew it. I saw the realization harden behind his eyes. He had to hurry.


    The bastard began edging away from me, one cautious step at a time, as though retreating from a predator. His movements were subtle, calcted, seeking an opening, an escape.


    But he knew as well as I did that escaping me was nearly impossible.


    He understood my intentions perfectly.


    As he continued stepping back, his fingers worked with deceptive ease over the box. Sneakily. Methodically. I caught the faint click as he loosened it, preparing to draw out the syringe hidden inside.


    All the while, he held my gaze, keeping me engaged, weaving his words carefully.


    "Luke, I promise this will be thest time. You should understand why I need it. You of all people, I expect to understand me. We aren’t just brothers, but something more than that..."


    He was trying to upy my mind, to dull my focus with conversation.


    But I was not the fool he hoped I would be.


    I knew he was not in a condition to fight me. The hunger in his veins had weakened him, thinned his strength, made his body restless but unsteady.


    And I was going to use that.


    My gaze never left his hands. I saw every subtle movement, every calcted shift of his fingers. He was only a heartbeat away from driving that syringe into his skin.


    If he had been any ordinary werewolf, he would have been struggling for his life in my hands by now.


    But Rafe was not ordinary.


    Which meant I could not afford even the smallest mistake.


    My fists tightened at my sides as I gathered my strength, drawing upon the full extent of my power. My vision sharpened, darkened, narrowing until there was nothing in the world except him and the object in his hand.


    "Kael?" I said suddenly, ncing over his shoulder as though someone stood behind him.


    The reaction was instant.


    His focus broke.


    He turned.


    And in that single, precious moment, I moved.


    The world seemed to flip for him. One second he stood braced and guarded, the next he was mmed against the rough bark of a tree, my forearm pinning his shoulders firmly in ce as I stood behind him. My other hand had already wrenched the box from his grasp, the syringe slipping free into my hold.


    "Luke!" he snarled.


    "You are not getting it today," I said, leaving no room for argument, no softness in my tone.


    He finally rxed as if he couldn’t fight me at the moment. The bloodlust and not getting what he wanted, had turned him weak to fight me.


    I felt bad, but what I felt won’t help him.


    Silence settled between us, thick and suffocating. He let his forehead fall against the tree trunk, the rough bark scraping against his skin. It was a gesture I knew too well.


    He had given up.


    Slowly, I eased my hold and stepped back, freeing him.


    But I did not lower my guard.


    "I want to see her newborn child," he said quietly, still facing the tree, his palms braced against the bark as though it were the only thing keeping him upright. "I want to hold her child like it’s mine. I want to feel what it means to be a father even if it’s not mine, and that happiness of having a family. I want to tell her how strong she is, and thank her for giving us another child."


    He was not arguing with me now.


    He was confessing.


    "I can’t mate with her. I can’t have a child with her. I can’t stay with her for the rest of our lives," he continued, his shoulders trembling faintly. "But am I not allowed this happiness at least? I want to feel it all. Is that too much to ask for?"


    <i>Fuck!</i>


    My chest tightened as though a massive stone had been dropped upon it, crushing the air from my lungs.


    "You can," I said softly, though the words felt fragile. "Trust me..."


    "You know the truth," he cut in, still not turning around. "I am already at the edge. But I want to hold on until she gives birth and I fulfill my wish. That’s why I need this drug, but..."


    "I am trying to find a way," I insisted, even as doubt wed at me.


    "I don’t have that much time," he interrupted again, finally turning to face me.


    And when he did, I saw it.


    Tears.


    After so long, after everything we had endured, I had never seen him look like that. The sight of those tears hurt me more than I could have imagined. It felt like a de twisting slowly beneath my ribs.


    It fucking hurt!