<h4>Chapter 199: Chapter 199 : The Truth Hurts</h4>


    La.


    My stomach was in tatters, and my heart was ripped to shreds. I didn’t know how to handle any of this. My world was crashing down, but I deserved it. I should have known I was being lied to, but I had been too gullible.


    They’d said Ba was a terrible person, someone who would end up extorting the children just like Chad Cartwright. A thief, a liar, they needed information so they could get the money back and suggested I look over the kids to make sure they would be safe.


    Everything they said had been lies.


    My instincts told me as much, but they were super convincing, so I had ignored my gut feeling. Right now, I ran down the sidewalk, the oranges, and reds of sunset doing little tofort me, as beautiful as they were.


    Tears streamed down my face as I ran, ignoring some odd looks I got from passersby. I needed to find afortable ce to sit and think.


    How could I convince Ba I was sorry?


    The sounds of my whimpering and footstepsnding on the sidewalk were the only thing I could hear right then. That is until I heard the soft chiming of my phone and felt the vibration in my pocket.


    Someone was calling me.


    It was probably Ba. I reached into my pocket and held the screen up to my face. My hand was shaky, but I was able to focus on it well enough. The person I saw calling me made my heart clench. At this point, I knew talking to either Allegra or Ba would be terrible.


    I needed to answer Ba’s call, though, so I did. “H-hello?” I asked, now panting as I ran. I turned the corner, nearly mming into a woman walking her dog. Mouthing ‘sorry,’ I moved on, heading down the road toward a coffee shop.


    “La. Are you okay? James went off on you, I apologize for his behavior. I want toe check on you. He said some ridiculous things. I’m assuming you’re fighting with Allegra or something?” she asked me. I swallowed, hearing that name.


    “I am,” I confirmed. Then, after a pause, I added, “The fight with Allegra, I mean. I’m not okay. Can you meet me at Essentials Cafe? I can exin everything there.” I wasn’t sure if my voice would be steady enough, but she had to know.


    “I’ll meet you there,” Ba said before hanging up. I shuddered, knowing this wouldn’t end well. What turned into me just trying to get information ended up being a job I was passionate about. I really cared about those kids and was happy to see the oue of the trial.


    The more and more I worked with the family, the more I realized they were trying to be just that. A family. To raise their children in peace, the best they could. Or at least, in an environment that was healthy for the kids. It’s what made me realize how much of a lie I had been caught in.


    My running shifted to a walk as I carried on down the street, hanging my head. Allegra’s voice had been so broken by the end of our call. I reached up to quickly wipe away some tears, but they kept spilling down my cheeks.


    All I wanted to do was tell Allegra I was happy for her, but I knew I couldn’t keep living a lie. I wanted to spend my life with her, but if I were to do that, she’d needed to know the truth. That I helped the very people who hurt her.


    While she didn’t go through anything permanently damaging either mentally or physically in their hands, she could have. I knew that, and I worked with them anyway, because they had me with their smooth words and silver tongues.


    Allegra deserved better, as did Ba. In the end, though, I wanted to keep my job, because my heart was now very much in it. That, and I wanted to be with La. I assumed James would eventually convince Ba to go to Italy and I could see La in Rome.


    I’d still be able to visit the kids then, even if I ended up living with La and no longer was a stay-at-home nanny. At this point, I was a disgrace, but maybe Ba would be understanding. Maybe we could still be friends after this.


    At least, that’s what I kept telling myself. I shook my head, walking past some buildings as the lights went on and shadows lengthened. The sun was now dipping under the horizon, but I wasn’t worried. This part of town was lively at night.


    At the same time, I wished the street was quieter. My sorrow radiated off of me in waves, and everything was crashing down. I had money to move on from here. I could livefortably for a while during the search for a new job.


    I didn’t want that, though. I wanted to remain friends with Ba and eventually be with Allegra. My heart clenched, and a sob emitted from the pit of my chest as I thought of her. She gushed so much about me, had so much love for me, and what had I done?


    Her voice dripped with sadness over the phely, but I hadn’t been able to tell her earlier. I was too nervous that I’d lose her, and everything else, too. That was happening right now. I was facing the consequences of my actions.


    Not only had I led her to believe, falsely, that I was no longer interested, but in the end, I lost her anyway. She was in so much pain while I kept my silence, too afraid to speak up. In reality, my heart dripped with love for her and the life she had nned.


    Why hadn’t I sounded as excited for her to get that modeling job? She was looking forward to hearing my thoughts, I could tell by how the calls started off when she was telling me. There had been a chance she couldn’t find work anywhere, yet there she was.


    Allegra was such a powerful, beautiful woman, and what was I? A liar and traitor, too easy to manipte, the consequence of which was showing now. More tears spilled down my cheeks as I rounded another corner, arriving at the coffee shop.


    I took a seat, burying my face in my hands and waiting for this inevitable talk with Ba. She was going to be so angry with me, justifiably. She and James had been fighting about going to Italy, so I doubted she believed him when he told her.


    She would believe me, though, because this time, I’d be telling the truth. I let out a low cry from the bottom of my throat, just trying topose myself here and failing. All of these concerned stares were making me beyond nervous.


    So much so that I jumped when the server came around. She was a young waitress with a sympathetic gleam in her eyes. “You okay, honey?” she asked, her voice dripping with concern. I didn’t tell her the truth, rather, I just nodded.


    “Yeah,” I said in a shaky tone. “Justposing myself from some sad news. I’m sorry,” I said, causing her to furrow her brow and shake her head.


    “No need to apologize, just making sure, dear. Is there anything you’d like, or do you want peace for now?” she asked. I contemted matters and then gave a nod, staring at my hands and avoiding eye contact following that.


    “A cup of hot tea, please,” I requested softly. With that, the waitress went off to fulfill my order, leaving me alone in my thoughts. As much as I tried to stop them, the tears kept on flowing. People I cared about were going to leave me soon.


    Allegra probably had already. She had every right to never want to see me again. Despite that, I couldn’t shake the feelings I had for her. Maybe there was a way she could forgive me. As much as I doubted it, I needed to try.


    My eyes kept falling on the entrance of the coffee shop as I tried, and kept failing, topose myself. A cup of tea was ced in front of me, causing me to jump. “Thanks,” I said to the waitress, who nodded.


    “Just let me know if you need anything else,” she said, once more leaving me alone. I blew on the tea, hoping it would help me rx even if only somewhat. By the nausea in my stomach, I doubted that would be the case.


    Eventually, the bell chimed, indicating someone had entered the cafe. I swallowed, locking eyes with the woman who entered. Her brown hair was frazzled, her blue eyes glinted with concern and outrage, and her posture was tense.


    Ba.


    I considered, for a moment, ducking my head and pretending I wasn’t here. I couldn’t hide from this, though. I got the courage to tell Allegra and lost her. She hung up on me. Knowing I’d probably lose Ba, too, I still motioned her over with a shaky sigh.


    She took a seat before me, giving a light smile and nodding. “Hey, La. Sorry about how James behaved there. He lost his mind. You didn’t deserve that. I think he’s on edge because I don’t want to go to Italy,” she exined.


    I gave a half-shrug, knowing the real reason. Softly, I said, “It’s okay. His anger was justified. Would you like anything? I can cover the bill today. I don’t mind.” I watched Ba narrow her eyes at the ‘justified’ment and winced.


    “What do you mean, La? Justified? He was shouting at you and woke the kids. I think it’s far from justified. What he said was ridiculous. You aren’t saying he was right, are you?” she asked. This was it. The moment of reckoning.


    I gave a long pause, drowning in my misery for a moment. I opened, then closed my mouth, trying to find the words to properly tell her how sorry I was. How much this was a mistake, how misled I was, how I really did care about her and the kids.


    All I could say was, “Ba, I’m sorry.”


    “La, no,” Ba muttered, her jaw dropping. “He can’t be right. Please. Tell me he’s wrong.”


    “He’s... h-he’s... he’s not wrong, Ba. I’m so s-sorry, th-they lied to me, I th-thought you did something you didn’t, I was just t-trying to do the right thing! Really, I, I mean, really, I’m sorry, and, a-and....” Just like with my admission to Allegra, I was tripping over my words.


    Ba locked eyes with me, shock crossing her features. Her mouth was stuck open as she tried to process what I was saying. She probably spent the entire time getting here convincing herself that was James told her wasn’t true.


    “La,” she whispered, just loud enough for me to hear. “You’re fired.”