<h4>Chapter 114: Chapter 114 : Adjusting to Reality</h4>


    James.


    The moment that I got off the phone with Neal, I knew he was going to be aplication. He didn’t seem eager to help me, and I didn’t me him. After everything that I had put her through, why would he?


    What annoyed me the most, though, was he thought that he could actually dictate to me what I was going and not going to do. If I wanted to get to Ba, I could. I knew it was best for me to keep away, to be able to watch from a distance, and hope that she was okay, but the other part of me longed to be next to her again.


    I wanted to hold her in my arms, I wanted to get on my knees and beg her forgiveness, and I wanted to be part of my child’s life. I had already lost one child because of my selfishness, and thest thing I needed to do was allow myself to lose another.


    Even my grandson wasn’t going to be able to have me as part of his life because of the shit that I pulled. Perhaps it had happened back in the day, back when I was younger, when I made these terrible mistakes of aligning myself with dangerous people.


    But I even knew back then that one day this woulde back to bite me in the ass, and as I sat in my apartment looking at the various bags of electronics that I had purchased to try and make myselffortable, I couldn’t help but hold the satellite phone in my hand and wonder if I had made the right choice by contacting Neal.


    There was a chance that he could reach out to Greg and tell Greg what I had done and ruin everything, even though I had only just gotten here. There was also a chance that he could turn around and hide Ba from the world. Maybe even marry her, making her his forever to ensure that I would never be able to get her back.


    Ultimately, I wouldn’t be able to do anything about it.


    A sharp knock at the door caught my attention, and quickly standing to my feet, I took the phone and hid it. Thest thing I needed was for one of those guys that had been here earlier to see me with the phone that I wasn’t supposed to have.


    It would onlyplicate my situation even further.


    As I made my way across the room, opening the door, I spotted a shorter, dark-haired young woman with kind charcoal eyes smiling up at me, holding a tter of food. “Wee to our apartment building. These are for you.”


    Her thick Asian ent twerked the corner of my lips as I stared down at her with hesitation and amusement. “Thanks.”


    I wasn’t sure exactly what I was to say, but as I took the tter leaving, the door open, she stepped inside for a moment, and I gazed over my shoulder, watching how she took in the apartment with very little interest. “Is this something that you usually do? Bring your new guests food?”


    “Yes, my mother believes in keepingmon decency among the neighbors. It is a tradition that you bring your neighbors a gift.”


    “Hmm, interesting,” I muttered to myself as I took in the delicacies upon the te. A lot of it was stuff that I had never tried before, but I wouldn’t be rude and pass it up just because I was unsure.


    As I turned back to herpletely, she stood with her hands sped in front of her, as if waiting for something. I was slightly confused about what that could have been. “Thank you again for all of this. I do appreciate it. It’s nice to feel wee somewhere.”


    “You are very wee. My mother will be pleased to know that you enjoyed her gift.”


    Again, she waited, and I became slightly unsure if she was ever going to leave by the way that she seemed so hesitant. “Was there something else that you needed?”


    “Oh, I’m sorry,” she replied quickly as a soft tinge of pink filled her cheeks. “I’m just not used to having men from America here in the building. It’s very unusual to meet foreigners that want to stay with normal society, especially someone like you. You don’te across as somebody who would live in these kinds of amodations.”


    “What kind of person do I look like then?” I chuckled with amusement, trying to determine exactly where her mind was going.


    Taking a moment, she shrugged her shoulders as the small smile lit up her face once again. “I don’t know, but I suppose eventually we will all find out.”


    “You know, your English is very good for somebody that lives with these kinds of people,” I replied, putting emphasis on the same frame of words that she had used only moments ago.


    “It’s because I am a teaching assistant at the university. I took many years of English, and even though my ent is still there, I read, write, and speak English as if it was a firstnguage.”


    She had confidence in her abilities when she spoke about her aplishments. I wasn’t quite sure what it was about her that intrigued me. It wasn’t anything of a sexual nature. It was more so something of a fatherly nature. She reminded me of Tally in some ways, but she was definitely more reserved than my daughter had been.


    “It’s remarkable that you were able to aplish all of that,” I replied, showing my genuine interest in what she had been able to do. “So you live here with your mother?”


    “Yes, of course. I will live here with her until I get married.”


    “Is that part of your culture, too, to live with your parents until you get married?” I questioned wanting to know a little bit more about my neighbors who are so kind as to bring me food.


    “No,” sheughed. “However, I chose to because my father died over two years ago, and my mother can’t do everything on her own.”


    The pit of guilt at the bottom of my stomach slowly grew, the longing for the child I had lost blossoming. I was sad hearing what she had to say, and it made me wonder if my unborn child would feel the same. “I’m sorry to hear that.”


    “It’s okay, it was his time to go, and the ancestors weed him back with open arms. Do you have any family, children or a wife?”


    Taking a moment, I exhaled slowly, trying to calm myself, my nerves on edge as I thought about what she had asked me. “I’m divorced, and my daughter passed away recently, so it’s just me here.”


    She seemed a little taken aback by what I’d said, and most people were when they heard about it. “I’m sorry about your daughter. She was taken too young.”


    “It’s okay. As you said, the ancestors have received her, or at least that’s how it’s seen in your culture, correct?”


    “That’s correct. She will look upon you and protect you and anyone else in your family that needs protecting. She will help to guide you all. Her spirit will always be with you.” She didn’t bother to stay around any longer as she slowly made her way towards the door.


    I appreciated everything she’d said and the food her mother had made for me that she’d brought over. But I couldn’t help but wonder if there was something else that she was hoping to find.


    Deciding not to press her for any issues, I allowed her to walk through the door and leave my sight. Thest thing that I wanted was for her to get the wrong idea, and to top it off, I hadn’t even gotten her name.


    As my mind reeled from the conversation I’d had with the mystery woman who had suddenly brought me food, I slowly turned back and took notice of the electronics once more in the living room. Everything that the woman had said yed over and over in my mind.


    There was something in what she did say that made sense.


    Perhaps what I would have to do is slowly get over things. Or not really get over them, but ept that what happened happened, and I’d have to try and look for the bright side. That Tally was in a ce now where she could watch over us all.


    Still, contemting even that didn’t make me happy. It made me angry, knowing that she died because of me, because of this stupid feud. And now, to top it off, Sergie’s son was out there trying to take over the enterprise that his father had built.


    I worried every day that he might find something out or even go after Ba with me being dead just to settle scores and make sure that my lineage didn’t continue. It was now widely known that Ba was carrying my child, and oftentimes, in situations like that, they liked to try and kill off at a line entirely.


    Striding towards the sofa, I picked up the satellite phone that I had stashed behind the cushions and stared at it. Should I try to reach out to Neal again and make him see the reason behind what I wanted to do? Or, instead of simply trying to work my way back into her life, I could help her in other ways without her knowing that I was still alive.


    The only thing that I wanted was confirmation that she was okay.


    Which Neal did give me. Even if the conversation was less than pleasing.


    I needed something to do. I had only been here a few hours, and already, I was going stir crazy trying to imagine how I was going to live a life like this, how I was going to possibly make living here work.


    I had spent almost my entire life working as hard as I could. Blood, sweat, and tears went into everything that I made, but my decision to have Bapletely get rid of my business was my own. It had nothing to do with her or to benefit her in the future.


    I wanted thepany gone because, even though I’d worked hard to create it, it had done nothing but bring destruction.


    Perhaps I could create a business here, or at least apany that might be beneficial, under the name Lester Johnson. I still couldn’t get over the fact that he had f*cking picked that name for me. It had to be something humorous in his mind that decided that one.


    Thinking about it, I tried to decide what it was that I could do that would keep me out of the major eye of the public or anything international but that would still be beneficial to themunity.


    Perhaps in order to find out what was good for themunity, I needed to get out into it, to participate in it. It would help me to heal and possibly help others around me.


    Not to mention, it might be something that Ba could be proud of me for.