<h4>Chapter 111: Chapter 111 : Preparing for New Zend</h4>


    Ba.


    After tons of nning and purchasing tickets, I found myself standing in the bedroom packing my suitcases, going through everything that I was going to need while we were away in New Zend.


    Initially, when I told Neal and Allegra about what I wanted to do, I was almost certain that they would disagree. Yet again, they surprised me, as they always did, and agreed that the trip would be a wonderful idea.


    Of course, considering the fact that the doctor had cleared me for travel, that is.


    Slowly going through all the clothing I had ced on top of the bed, I packed it into the suitcase with careful precision and then proceeded to grab all of my toiletries that were in their individual bags and ce them in as well.


    It wasn’t until I had ced some documents that I needed just in case something were to happen over there that the small letter that Mr. Shavers had given me that had been left by James fell out onto the floor.


    With how hectic everything had been over the past weeks, I hadpletely forgotten about the letter, having shoved it away after meeting Mr. Shavers because reading something from him then had been too painful. I had forced myself to put it out of my mind.


    Slowly bending down, I picked up the white envelope that had my name perfectly written on the front of it. My fingers brushed over the smooth curves of the letters that James had written. There was an ache in my chest that grew. As it did, I took a deep breath and exhaled, trying to push myself through it.


    Every part of me wanted to open the letter and read it right then and there, but I couldn’t. Not yet. If I were to do that, then I would never finish aplishing anything that I had to do today before the ne was to leave.


    Not to mention it still hurt too much, and I was afraid of what the letter said. I was afraid that what was entailed in it wouldpletely rip me open again, and I would never be able to make it through.


    I turned back to my suitcase, cing the letter inside, and as I did, a soft knock at my open bedroom door sounded, causing me to look over my shoulder to spot Allegra, with her hands sped in front of her, smiling at me.


    “Have you still not opened that letter?” she asked with a curious nce as her eyes darted to the envelope and then back to mine.


    “Uh, no. I just don’t have it in me to read it right now. Did you read yours?”


    She nodded her head slowly as she stepped forward, picking up the blouse that I had carefullyid over the edge of the bed and folding it to help me put it in the suitcase.


    “I actually read it the same day we received it, and I believe Neal has read his. It was sweet and touching, what he wrote, but I think that you should read yours.” Her soft words wereforting, and knowing that what he wrote to her was sweet, and yet, of course, also personally made me curious to know what he had said.


    It was no secret that Allegra and James had a strained rtionship, even though they were friends and had participated in many things together. She was very quick to put him in his ce when he had messed up, which she had done on multiple asions on my ount.


    “Do you mind me asking what it said?” I hesitated, watching a smirk cross her lips as she shrugged her shoulders.


    “Sentimental, you know, just the same old James kind of stuff. He told me not to mess up anything, to find someone that made me happy, to cherish every moment I spent with you, and to look out for you for eternity. Or he woulde back to haunt me.”


    My mouth dropped open as my lips parted. My eyes went wide. “He did not say that...”


    “Okay.” She shrugged withughter. “Perhaps he didn’t say thatst bit, bute on, you and I both know James, and that would definitely be something that he would say had he been present.”


    Perhaps there was a part of me that could believe that James would say something along those lines to Allegra, especially after she had spent so much time scolding him. If she were not to listen to his words of warning, I could see a small threat with a grin across his face as heughed, causing the two of us tough at the same time.


    That was simply James, though he had a wicked sense of humor when he wanted to, and thinking about the moments that he had made meugh and feel warmth andfort made my emotions start spinning out of control.


    “I’m almost done packing, and then we can go ahead and leave.”


    My quick response seemed to take Allegra by surprise as she furrowed her brows at me and then gave me a small hug before departing from the room. I wasn’t trying to be rude or anything, and I appreciated her help, but had she not left, and we continued talking, I would have been an incoherent, hysterical mess with snot dripping down my face.


    ncing around the room, I made sure that I had everything that I needed, and as I calcted all of the items that I needed to take with me, I flipped over the suitcase and quickly zipped it, just in time to see Neal walking through my bedroom door.


    “I was justing to check and see if you were ready for me to take your suitcases down.” His soft statement was also warming, but it wasn’t quite exactly as I had once remembered it. Instead, he seemed so bothered, so distant.


    I hated it, honestly, because we had once been so very close and on the verge of being so very much in love. However, it just wasn’t the same as it used to be, and I know that with all of the trial and errors that we had currently going on, we would eventually get through it.


    At least, I had hoped that we would get through it.


    “Are you okay?” I asked as he pulled the suitcase onto the floor and lifted the handle to wheel it out.


    “Of course I’m okay. Are you okay?” He chuckled, watching me.


    “I suppose so. I’m looking forward to the vacation. I’m hoping that maybe getting out of here and doing some little adventuring through New Zend will help to take our minds off other stuff and get us back to the way we used to be.”


    Something about what I said seemed to perk up his spirits just a little bit. And stepping forward, he wrapped his arms around my shoulders, pulling me close to nt a kiss on the top of my forehead. “I would really like that.”


    “Me too. But if you don’t hurry up and get my suitcases, as well as the other things down to the car, we’re never going to make the ne in time.”


    My sarcasticment was exactly what he needed to make him find joy andughter as the banter between us flowed smoothly. Holding his hands up, he shrugged his shoulders, nodded his head, and turned, pulling my suitcase out the door and down the hallway.


    There was no going back as soon as we left, and it wasn’t like I wanted to anyways. I thought about James and all the things that he had told me before, and one thing that I knew for sure was that he wouldn’t want me to stop living my life just because he was gone.


    Rubbing my hand over my stomach, I smiled and thought about the moment that we spent in the Bahamas. If James wanted me to live my life, then so be it. I would. I would live my life and celebrate him as I raised our child and his grandson.


    I would show them the things that they need to see in life and teach them everything that I believed James would have wanted them to learn.


    Making my way from the bedroom, I headed down the hallway to where Neal and Allegra stood at the front door,ughing and talking.


    “You didn’t actually bring those shirts, did you?” Allegra’s shocked face and parted lips made me wonder what it was that she was talking about.


    “Of course, I did,” Neal replied as he struggled with my suitcases and Allegra’s, sending them to the security guard at the door who was helping to take them downstairs. “Stop acting like they’re that bad. They’re just beach shirts.”


    “What shirts are you talking about?”


    I was curious, and as Allegra turned to me, her shocked expression became more dramatic as she threw her hands up in the air and shook her head. “Oh, you’re gonna love this one. Neal went out and bought a bunch of those touristy beach shirts, the ones with the different print patterns on them, and he says he’s going to wear them when we go on our trip.”


    I was stunned at what she was saying. Neal did not seem like the type of person that would do that, but as his kind, sexy nce looked my way, I couldn’t help but burst out intoughter. “Well, I guess I better get my camera ready then because those are definitely photos that I am not going to miss out on.”


    Allegra did not seem pleased with thement that I made. Instead, she gave a dramatic eye roll and grabbed her purse, pushing past the security guard out the front door.


    Neal, of course, had a smug expression across his face as he stepped out the door with the security guard making way for me to pass through. “I knew that she would be on my side.”


    “Don’t get me wrong, I think those shirts are absolutely atrocious. However, I love the fun, inventive side of them, and I cannot wait to see you in something that doesn’t make you look serious.”


    “Oh, you’ve seen me in many things that haven’t made me look serious.” His sly, seductive remark made my cheeks flush pink as I nced at him from the corner of my eye with a small smirk across my lips before I continued walking.


    He wasn’t wrong there. I had seen him in many things, including nothing at all, all of which did make him look not so serious but in a very much more pleasurable way.


    This trip was beginning to look better and better by the minute, and the more I pressed forward, making my way towards the vacation that I had always wanted to go on, I couldn’t help but feel the positive aspect of it.


    Perhaps everything would get better in the end.