<h4>Chapter 54: Chapter 54 : Regretful Actions</h4>


    Ba.


    The next day was more awkward than I had anticipated it to be. After everything that had happened with Nealst night, I had expected there to be nothing but an awkward silence between us. However, instead, when I had awoken and made my way out to the living room, he seemed more cheerful than ever.


    Taking precautions, I kept quiet after saying good morning to him, and made my way towards the kitchen and set the kettle to make myself a cup of tea. I wasn’t quite sure what I was going to do for the day, but at the top of my list, I had to find a ce to live.


    After all, school wasing rather quickly, and I couldn’t stay where I was before. Everything was so f*cked up, but there was nothing I could do except take care of shit as always and move forward.


    “So, I was looking over everything, and I think I found the perfect ce for you,” Neal said, catching my attention. Turning around, I stared at him with a nk expression and my lips slightly parted.


    “I told you there was no need to worry about that. I can figure it out honestly.” Frowning, I hoped he would listen to me and understand I wasn’t looking for free hands out from him just because he had money.


    “Don’t be ridiculous. I told youst night I was going to help you. I really am looking at having rental properties up there. This is a great opportunity for me to expand. Perhaps we can work something out if you feel you’re getting handouts.”


    “What do you mean?” I asked, crossing my arms over my chest while biting the inside of my cheek.


    His eyes seemed to hold some sort of mystery to them as he nced at me with a smile. “I mean, like maybe you can help me out with property management. Instead of me paying someone, I would just let you live in one unit for free. You take care of the others.”


    Nodding my head, I chose not to say anything else. After all, what was I going to say?


    It was better not to bite the hand that feeds you, and honestly, the deal he was offering was great. “I think I can manage something like that.”


    An empty feeling in the pit of my stomach made me question everything that had happenedst night. As much as I tried not to pay any attention to it, I couldn’t avoid it.


    Neal had kissed mest night, and if I hadn’t stopped things, they would have gone further.


    Did this mean he actually had an interest in me?


    As I finished making my tea, I slowly made my way towards the living room. He was sitting on the sofa in a pair of gray sweatpants and a white T-shirt. His godly aroma wrapped around me in all the right ways.


    He was incredibly attractive, and any girl would be fortunate enough to have someone like him. But he wasn’t James and as much as I wanted to try to get over him, I couldn’t.


    “I think we should talk,” I said, breaking the awkward silence between us.


    His eyes slowly lifted from hisptop ced in front of him to fall on me, and as they did, my breath caught in my throat.


    “There’s no need to have a discussion about anything that happenedst night. We both had a lot to drink and, of course, we know that there is nothing that could ever happen between us.” Neal’s admission shocked me.


    I hadn’t expected him to be so nonchnt about it, but he quickly dismissed what had happened between us as if it wasn’t a big deal.


    “So we’re just going to pretend that it never happened?” I asked, furrowing my brows as I lifted my teacup to my lips.


    “If that’s what you would like to do, then we can. I don’t want to discuss it and make you feel ufortable. As I said, what happened happened. We’d both been drinking and there’s nothing really to discuss.”


    I was pleased there would not be any awkwardness, but I felt conflicted. His response wasn’t what I had expected, and I couldn’t help but wonder if he regretted what happened.


    “Can I ask you something?” I whispered, watching his eyes lift once again from hisptop to connect with mine.


    “You don’t ever have to question if you can ask me something. Of course, you can ask me anything, Ba. You can ask anything of me you want in the world, and I will grant it if it is in my power to do so.” The corners of his lips turned up into a smile.


    “Why did you kiss mest night, Neal? I mean, I didn’t think you were into me, and I know you said we’d both been drinking, but the way you were seemed like there was more to it.”


    Instantly, his expression fell from one of happiness to one of guilt. Leaning back against the couch, he rubbed his hand over his face as he sighed.


    “Well, it isplicated,” he replied, clearing his throat. “I can’t pretend I don’t like you and care about you because I do, Ba. I care about you a great deal. However, I also respect and understand James is the man you love. I would never push you into doing anything you don’t want.”


    In shock over his eptance, my heart swelled, and tears lined my eyes. Whatever person he imed would be the luckiest in the world. Never once had I met a man as kind as him, except for my own father.


    Neal thought about everyone around him before ever thinking about himself.


    “I’m so grateful for everything you’ve done for me, Neal. I’m sorry, though, for being so difficult andplicated. You deserve so much better.”


    Neal closed hisptop and smiled at me. “You are the one that deserves the world.”


    “No, I don’t,” I scoffed. “I’m in love with a man who doesn’t want me. I’m f*cked up.”


    “I wouldn’t say that, but I understand,” he said, nodding his head as if everything I was saying madeplete sense to him. “That’s why I told you not to worry about it.”


    “I don’t want things to change between us,” I admitted softly, grasping at any opportunity to make sure I could keep him in my life, because even if I wasn’t involved with him, he was still a dear friend to me. I would hate the fact of losing him over something silly like this.


    “Nothing will ever change between us. Even if you aren’t with me and things never progress, having you in my life as a friend is at least better than having you not in my life at all.” He gestured with his hand for me toe towards him, and setting down my cup, I did.


    Pulling me into hisp, he kissed the side of my head. “Actually, I have an event this weekend, and I hoped you coulde with me.”


    After how things went with thest event I had gone to, I wasn’t quite certain if I wanted to do another. However, this was Neal... not James.


    “I don’t know. The g was a lot for me. I’m just not sure if going to another event would be a good idea,” I replied with hesitation.


    “I understand that you’re concerned, but it would mean a great deal to me if you went. Just to have some fun, and if you’re ufortable about going, you don’t have to. I thought this would be a very good educational experience for you, considering the field that you’re going into.”


    “Educational experience?” I questioned with a softugh that made him smile.


    “Yes, there’s going to be a ton of guest speakers there. There’s actually going to be quite a few college students there taking notes on the presentations given. I thought you might find it very educational. I know how much your field of study means to you, and I believe there is one person who’s going to be there that you will enjoy.”


    Hearing this could be educational and benefit me at school was something that intrigued me. I would have a paper I needed to do this year for one of my college sses, and if I could use this firsthand experience to improve my paper than I should do it.


    Chances like these often only came around once in a blue moon, and who was I to turn down something significant like this?


    Taking a moment, I rolled my eyes and nodded my head in agreement. “Fine, I’ll go, but I’m not getting super dressed up.”


    “That’s fine. It’s not one of those kinds of events. I mean, of course, look nice. Now, I’m not saying leggings and a hoodie, but you also don’t have to wear a ball gown and dazzling jewelry. Just something pretty you have on hand.”


    Slowly, I stood from hisp, as he continued to clutch at my hand before it gently drifted away until we were no longer touching. I felt the need to cry, but it wasn’t because of sadness. It was one of happiness.


    This was the first step towards my future, being slightly different.


    And all of it was because Neal didn’t just let me carry on on my own. He took me in when I needed it, gave me a ce to stay, and had been nothing but kind to me. Now, once again, he was giving me another opportunity that could benefit me in the long run.


    “Why don’t we talk about this ce? What are you looking at?” I replied, changing the subject. Quickly grabbing hisptop, he started flipping through the tabs.


    There were a variety of different ces he was looking at, and one by one, he exined them to me and showed me theyouts of them. They were a lot more extravagant than I was expecting, but with the data he was providing me, I could give him some clear guidance into what would be the best choice for the prices he was going to be spending.


    It made me feel like I was actually doing something instead of just feeling like a mooch that was getting another freebie handout.


    Even though when I lived with Tally, that was what I was technically doing.


    James had paid for everything, and I lived for free.


    At least with Neal, I would be doing something to repay him by being the property manager.