132 An Exhausted Mother’s Comfort
132 An Exhausted Mother’s Comfort
The stairs seemed steeper than usual as I made my way to the second floor. I found Coco and Emma huddled around a tablet, their faces illuminated by the screen’s glow. My daughter’sughter – bright and uninhibited – sent a pang through my chest. How long had it been since I’d heard herugh like that around me?
Her observation hit harder than any adult critique could have. Children saw the truth
without filters.
Emma grinned. “You can try.”
Coco grinned. “Okay, Uncle Victor. Can I y video games next time too?”
“Coco is upstairs with Emma. They’ve been ying video games for the past hour.”
I bit my lip. What else had Damien been saying about me?
She hung up, looking pleased. “Daddy said fifteen minutes. He’s bringing me a
surprise!”
“She said you’ve been quiettely,” he finally said.
I watched as the car pulled away, taking my daughter with it. The weight of her absence settled over me immediately, heavier than her physical presence had been in my arms. I stood there long after the taillights had disappeared, alone in the cold, too
exhausted to even move.
Before I could respond, Coco’s delighted squeal erupted from the car. “A unicorn plushie! It’s so big!”
I set her down carefully, my arms aching from the exertion. Damien’s sleek ck car pulled up to the curb. The engine hummed to silence, and he stepped out, tall and imposing in his tailored suit. Not a hair out of ce, not a sign of the fatigue that seemed to permeate my very bones.
Damien’s words lingered in the air between us. I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. The conversation about his “invisibility technology” had left me drained. I watched as he turned away, his tall figure moving with practiced grace toward the exit.
“Damien.” I matched his tone – neutral, detached.
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132 An Exhausted Mother’s Comfort
She nodded. “Will you carry me, Mom? Please?”
“I’ll pick Coco upter this evening.”
We said our goodbyes to the remaining guests and stepped outside to wait for Damien. The evening air had turned sharp, carrying the bite of approaching winter. <i>Coco </i>shivered beside me.
He smiled again. “Let’s get you home. It’s past your bedtime.”
“Yes?”
I nced at my watch. “I should get her. Damien will be here soon.”
“Daddy?” Coco’s voice brightened instantly. “When are youing?… Fifteen minutes?… Okay!… Love you too!”
Beck, Uncle Victor’s assistant, appeared beside me. “He certainly knows how to make an exit,” she murmured.
“Just tired,” I replied. The excuse was bing my standard responsetely. Tired. It covered so much while revealing nothing.
Uncle Victor stepped forward, offering Damien a formal handshake. “Mr. Thorne.” The
coolness in his voice was unmistakable.
“Coco,” I called softly. “It’s time to go. Your father’sing to pick you up soon.”
She wrapped her arms around my neck as I lifted her. Her weight settled against me, familiar and yet somehow foreign. When had she gotten so big? It seemed like just yesterday she had been a tiny bundle in my arms.
I faltered. “What do you mean?”
The question caught me off guard – so ordinary, yet so unexpecteding from him. When was thest time Damien had asked about my wellbeing?
I managed a weak smile. “Years of practice.”
As Coco scrambled into the car, Damien turned to me. For a moment, we stood in silence, two strangers who had once shared everything.
“Daddy, Mom carried me even though I’m heavy now,” Coco announced proudly.
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132 An Exhausted Mother’s Comfort
Coco turned to my cousin. “Thanks, Emma! Next time I’ll beat your high score.”
“ra, are you alright?” Uncle Victor’s concerned voice broke through my thoughts.
“Thank you,” I whispered. My arms strained with her weight, but I held her close, savoring the warmth of her small body against mine. These were the moments I lived for the simple, quiet connections that reminded me why I kept going each day.
“Are you going to be less tired soon? I miss when you weren’t tired.”
“I know her schedule, ra.” A hint of irritation crept into his voice.
The question broke something inside me. I tightened my hold on her, blinking back sudden tears. “I hope so, Coco. I really hope so.”
The remaining hour of the banquet passed in a blur. I made polite conversation,ughed at appropriate moments, and sipped sparingly from my wine ss. All the while, my mind kept circling back to Damien’s words: “There’s a lot about me you’ve chosen not to see, ra.”
“Alright,” I said, bending down. “Just until your father arrives.”
She nodded, seeming to ept this. “That’s what Daddy said. He said you work a lot
now.”
I crossed my arms, a defensive gesture. “Did she?”
“Where’s my surprise?” she demanded.
“ra,” he acknowledged me with a nod.
He caught her in his arms with practiced ease, lifting her as if she weighed nothing. “There’s my girl.” His smile – genuine and warm – was reserved for her alone.
“Not for you,” Coco said confidently. “You’re super strong.”
I stood back, suddenly aware of my rumpled clothes and tired eyes. The contrast between us had never felt so stark – Damien, polished and energetic even at the end of the day, and me, barely holding together.
“Yes, sweetheart?”
As we made our way down the hallway, Coco looked up at me. “Mom?”
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132 An Exhausted Mother’s Comfort
“Mr. Vance.” Damien’s response was equally detached.
Damien’s lips curved slightly. “I should get her home.”
“You’re quiet. You used to talk all the time, asking about my day and stuff.” She said it matter–of–factly, without usation. “Now you’re just… quiet.”
“Damien’s picking her up in a few minutes,” I replied.
Of course he did. Damien never forgot details – except when they involved my feelings, my needs, my existence.
As if I hadn’t spent seven years looking. Seven years searching for any sign that he might eventually see me.
“Cold?” I asked, pulling my own coat tighter.
Heughed. “Anytime.”
She pulled back slightly to look at me, her small fingers touching my cheek. “Don’t be sad, Mom.”
Of course he was. Damien never missed an opportunity to be the parent who brought gifts and surprises. I forced a smile. “That’s nice. Let’s go downstairs to wait.”
“Tired,” he finished. “Yes, I can see that.”
“In the car,” he replied, setting her down. “Go look in the back seat.”
ra’s POV
ra Bellweather, my grandmother, stood near the doorway. Her posture stiffened as Damien approached. Their exchange was brief and cold- a curt nod from him, a tight–lipped smile from her. She had never approved of him, even less so after witnessing years of his indifference toward me.
“You smell nice,” she murmured, nestling her head against my shoulder.
“I’m fine,” I replied automatically. “Just-”
He hesitated, seeming on the verge of saying something more. Then he nodded once and turned away, sliding back into the driver’s seat.
“Are you alright?”
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132 An Exhausted Mother’s Comfort
His gaze flicked to me, something unreadable passing through his eyes. “Did she?” He turned back to Coco. “You
are getting big. Soon you’ll be too heavy for anyone to carry.”
She looked up, her smile fading slightly. “Already?”
I nodded, stepping back. “Have her in bed by nine, please. She has school tomorrow.”
“Heading out?” he asked.
–
I hesitated. Coco was nearly six, tall for her age, and getting heavier by the day. My back had been bothering metely – too many hours hunched over myputer at YodaVision. But her eyes were pleading, and these moments had be increasingly
rare between us.
Coco nodded, pulling out the phone Damien had given her for “emergencies.” At not quite six years old, my daughter already had a smartphone. Another decision Damien had made without consulting me.
We reached the bottom of the stairs. Uncle Victor appeared from the living room.
“Yes, sweetie. Say thank you to Emma for letting you y.”
Uncle Victor knelt down to Coco’s level. “It was good seeing you, kiddo. Don’t be a stranger, okay?”
“I’m not sad,” I lied. “Just-”
“Goodnight, then,” I said quietly.
“I’m just tired, sweetheart.” There was that word again. Tired. It had be my shield.
“Tired,” she finished for me. “I know.”
“Mom?” Coco’s voice was soft in my ear.
“You’re different now.”
And then he was gone, leaving behind a room that somehow felt both emptier and lighter. I exhaled slowly, only then realizing I’d been holding my breath.
“Daddy!” Coco ran to him.
Headlights appeared at the end of the driveway, and Coco squirmed in my arms. “Daddy’s here!”
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132 An Exhausted Mother’s Comfort
I waited as Coco gathered her small backpack. “Call your father and check when he’s
arriving.”
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