water


    do not like water


    avoid unless bloody


    which is often


    water is cold


    it is wet


    it is wrong


    spray in theb was better


    did not sprinkle


    did not smell like flowers


    alphas should not smell like flowers


    maybe the loud alpha with yellow hair


    but not me


    but moonlight goddess wants it


    so i endure


    sheughs when i shake off like a beast


    droplets scatter across stone floor


    butugh is not cruel


    is gentle


    like her hands


    when she strokes my soaked hair


    when she washes blood from my skin


    from my metal ws


    moonlight approaches now


    holds soft cloth


    reaches up to dry my hair


    i must bend down so she can reach


    always so small


    so fragile


    want to wrap around her


    shield her from everything that can harm her


    but how, when i could harm her too?


    ‘hold still,’ shemands


    voice like silk


    like starlight


    obey without thought


    would obey anything she asks


    even this


    her fingers work through tangles in my hair


    touch gentle


    always gentle


    no one has ever touched with gentleness


    only pain


    only purpose


    only orders


    but she touches like i am worth something


    like i am more than weapon


    more than beast


    more than monster


    purr builds in chest without permission


    cannot help response to her touch


    to her scent


    even through stinging flower soap smell


    can still catch sweetness beneath


    like moonflowers


    like night air


    like home


    she smiles up at me


    violet eyes bright


    ‘There,’ she says. ‘Much better.’


    i want to speak


    to tell her…


    what?


    that she is everything?


    that she is only thing that matters?


    that i would die to keep her safe?


    that i would bring the whole world to its knees?


    but words will note


    nevere


    only growls


    only sounds of beast i am


    i try to speak


    i should be able to


    being with her has cleared my mind


    has made it easier to think


    to form whole thoughts


    but no wordse out


    just more growls


    she does not seem to mind


    understands anyway


    somehow


    always understands


    runs fingers through damp hair again


    checking work


    touch lingers on temple


    brush against a big scar there


    ‘Does it hurt?’ she asks softly


    shake head


    lies are bitter


    but truth would make her sad


    do not want her sad


    rather bear pain in silence


    she sees through lie anyway


    clever moonlight


    always sees


    fingers trace edge of mask


    where metal meets mutted flesh


    i flinch back


    a low growl tells her no


    not a threat


    but a plea


    she pauses


    lowers her hands


    ‘I won’t take it off,’ she promises.


    i pause


    i wait


    she reaches up again


    touch so light


    barely there


    but burns


    everything burns


    except her


    she is cool


    is soothing


    is peace


    have never known peace before her


    stone walls press in


    too close


    too dark


    cannot see sky here


    cannot see real moon


    but have my moonlight


    here


    with me


    it is enough


    ‘What are you thinking about?’


    such a sweet sound, her voice


    lean into her touch without thought


    like beast seeking affection


    pathetic


    weak


    but cannot help


    need her touch like air


    like blood


    like life itself


    like i needed her out there


    needed to be inside her


    with her


    and only her


    ‘You don’t like it down here, do you?’


    shake my head


    no


    do not like stone walls


    do not like being trapped


    like pit


    like cage


    likeboratory


    the worst part is other alphas


    hate them all


    they want my moon


    she is mine


    and only mine


    but for now, she is here


    she is with me only


    so will endure


    will protect


    will keep safe


    growl builds in chest at thought


    ‘Hey,’ she murmurs. ‘It’s okay. We won’t stay long.’


    lean into touch again


    want to tell her


    want to exin


    want to make her understand


    danger


    threat


    but words stay trapped


    she pets my hair again


    gesture meant to soothe


    and it does


    tension bleeds from shoulders


    from spine


    from soul


    ‘Just two days,’ she promises. ‘Then we’ll leave. Find somewhere with a view of the sky. I know you don’t like being trapped inside.’


    does she think i want the false god in the sky?


    i know better now


    my moon is here on earth


    not up there


    but i nod


    she smiles


    likes when i nod


    don’t know why


    ‘You need better clothes. The cloak is okay, but I’m sure Raven can find something somewhere that would fit you. Lots of guards here. Someone has to be almost as big as you.’


    pauses, looks at me


    isn’t sure


    growl builds at other alpha’s name


    of golden one who looks at her with hunger


    he is a sun


    sun and moon are enemies in the sky


    he wants her


    wants to im her


    i will kill him first


    but she ces hand on arm


    touch gentle


    always gentle


    ‘None of that,’ she scolds. ‘He’s useful. For now.’


    useful


    yes


    can help find her mate


    Azarel


    must be, if he is searching


    a proper mate


    not broken like me


    chest aches at thought


    but push feeling away


    does not matter what i want


    only her


    only moonlight


    only everything


    she yawns


    exhaustion clear in delicate features


    in violet eyes


    in way she sways slightly


    ‘We should get some sleep.’


    she moves to massive bed


    sinks into soft nkets


    nkets like clouds epting moon


    ‘You’ll stay?’ she asks


    voice small


    uncertain


    as if i could ever leave


    as if anything could tear me from her side


    so i nod


    move to corner


    where can see door


    where can stay in shadows


    see threats from here


    she frowns


    ‘No,’ she says. ‘Here.’


    pats space beside her


    cannot


    must not


    am not worthy


    ‘Please?’


    one word


    one word breaks all resistance


    move carefully to bed


    pause at the edge


    rest metal ws on edge


    they tear the nket


    fluffy feathers puff up


    i jerk away


    my moonlight just giggles


    a musical sound


    a perfect sound


    ‘Come here,’ she insists, taking my hand


    my human hand


    i loom over the bed


    press my knee against it


    it creaks


    i pause


    she pulls me gently


    pulls me forward


    she has no strength to move me


    but i still let her do it


    try not to take up too much space


    impossible task


    when am twice her size


    three times, four times, maybe


    but she does not seem to mind


    curls against my side like belongs there


    like i am not a monster


    purr builds again


    cannot stop purring


    do not want to stop purring


    wrap human arm around her


    must be careful


    she is precious


    ‘Good night,’ she murmurs


    already half asleep


    safe


    protected


    trusting


    press face into her hair


    breathe in scent of moonlight


    of home


    of peace


    she sighs


    content


    happy


    because of me?


    it cannot be


    she has already given me so much


    would give anything in return


    everything


    but have nothing to give


    except protection


    except devotion


    except self


    broken as it is


    she seems to want anyway


    cannot understand why


    but will not question


    will simply ept


    like everything else with her


    it is a gift