Xena''s POV
I wasn''t sure if "shocked" adequately described what I was feeling. Though I understood what she was saying, I couldn''t control the sting in my chest. They were preventing Ryder from bing Alpha simply because Tatum wanted me. My gaze fell on her half-empty cup of tea, the murky brown liquid perfectly mirroring my turbulent emotions.
"What else aren''t you telling us, Mother? Ryder asked, his voice firm with an edge of anger I''d never heard before.
"Mind your tone." Luna Kestrel red back coldly. "The fact is, Tatum wants Xena. Benedict and I are concerned he''ll challenge you for her. If you''re Alpha and Luna, that challenge might include the position. We don''t want him able to challenge for both. If he wants to challenge for Alpha, that''s one thing, but if she''s Luna..."
Then it would include the entire pack. It felt like a p across my face. My heart sank to my stomach, a profound sense of guilt epassing me. My existence had be his weakness, and that knowledge spread through me like poison.
"Anyone can challenge for that position at any time," Ryder''s tone hadn''t softened. I could feel his anger through our connection, hot and intense.
"Why isn''t dad part of this conversation?" I asked, my voice barely audible though my mind was screaming.
"Sometimes your father can be... too aggressive. This conversation wasn''t meant to anger either of you, but we did want to be transparent with you both. You deserve at least that much. I''m sorry we''re in this situation. My greatest wish is to see you two take over the pack and live happily. We still have a pack to manage and protect. This isn''t what I would want for either of you, but we''re trying to make the best of the situation. You want to travel, we''ll cover the expenses. Please consider it, won''t you?" Luna Kestrel stood up. "I''ll respect your choice regarding the mating ceremony. We''ll need to try on dresses soon. Let me know your decision."
She walked out of the library, gently closing the door behind her.
Ryder stood up, cing his hands on his hips as he began to pace. Each step he took felt like it was on my heart, heavy and painful.
"Did you know?" I asked softly, my voice almost trembling.
"No, I swear. They asked if you wanted to travel, if you still nned on working. I told them I wasn''t sure about the travel because we never discussed it, but I told them you''d continue working." Ryder turned to look at me, his eyes filled with guilt and pain. "I''m
sorry."
Ryder walked over and knelt in front of me, taking my hands in his, his eyes searching mine. I could feel his sincerity and his pain, but my heart couldn''t be calmed. A trapped feeling surrounded me, as if my very existence was a mistake.
I pulled my hands from his grasp and stood up, stepping around him. She was right, but it still felt like a knife in my back. My brain was a mess as I tried to sort through what I was feeling and how I wanted to handle this situation.
"Let''s go see how the shop''sing along?" I finally said, trying to find a way to escape this suffocating conversation, even temporarily.
Ryder didn''t say anything, just rose and opened the door for me.
He opened the car door for me and gently closed it after I got in. He mmed his own door, however, and hit the gas, speeding away. Between his emotions and my own, I wasn''t sure what to do. Taking the vacation they offered seemed wrong. Though I desperately wanted to look at Ryder, I kept my gaze out the window. The trees flew by, helping me push everything from my mind for the moment.
leaned my head against the headrest, forcing my emotions to shut down. I didn''t want to think or feel.
Due to too many cars parked on the street, Ryder had to park at the end of the block. As soon as he stopped, I opened the door and got out. The wind was blowing, bringing the scent of sawdust to my ose. A smell that indicated they were making progress.
The distant hum of power tools and shouts of workers filled the air walked briskly toward my shop, my mind still reeling from Luna Kestrel''s bombshell.
Ryder caught up to me within seconds, his long strides easily matching my hurried pace. I could feel the waves of frustration and anger rolling off him, but neither of us spoke. The silence between stretched taut like a rubber band ready to snap.
When we rounded the corner, the full scope of the reconstruction came into view. The exterior was already taking shape, with fresh siding being installed and windows framed. Workers were everywhere some ondders, others hauling materials, all focused on bringing my shop back to life.
Penelope spotted us first, her face lighting up as she waved enthusiastically. She was standing near a table covered with blueprints, her hair pulled back in a messy bun, clipboard in hand. Despite everything, a small smile tugged at my lips. Her dedication to helping me rebuild was touching.
"Xena! Perfect timing!" she called out, motioning, for us to join her. "We''ve made so much progress today. The electrical work is almostplete, and the plumbing should be finished by tomorrow afternoon!"
I nodded, trying to match her enthusiasm, but my heart wasn''t in it.
"Looks great," I managed, my voice sounding hollow even to my own ears. Chapter Comments
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