#Chapter 90: A Hard Truth


    #Chapter 90: A Hard Truth


    Alex talks to Michael for hours, leaving me to guess what is happening and eventually causing Rita and me to fear if something has gone wrong.


    Eventually, Alex returns to his parents'' house. I''m sitting at the table with his parents and with Rita, barely touching the te of food in front of me. In fact, Mr. Hewlett is the only one who seems to have an appetite.


    T rises as Alex approaches. "Let me make you a te," she says before turning to walk away. "Don''t," Alex says, causing her to stop in her tracks.


    She approaches him and ces a hand on his shoulder, searching his face. "You need to eat something."


    "I don''t have an appetite. I just need some time alone."


    She lowers her hand and locks her fingers together, resolved to. "Of course. I''ll have something in the refrigerator for you when you''re ready."


    I want to follow him to his room, but I don''t know if that would be appropriate, and he doesn''t ask for me. He simply walks away, followed by the sound of a door shutting. The finality of it breaks my heart.


    I can only imagine the stress he''s under. Even if his brother tried toe off positive and reassuring, the idea of having to run a pack you never thought you would have control of is intimidating.


    I know.


    That evening, we take a walk to our stream. This time it feels different. I wonder how many more walks we have, how many more times we''ll visit this stream together.


    Evenmitted to one another, this time is almost over and I don''t know what''sing next.


    We''re prepared to spend some time alone. Alex brings arge nket and a thermos with something warm that I don''t really find appealing. But I smile and pretend to enjoy it.


    The moon is full, making it the perfect night. I''m afraid this may be thest time we''re together like this, here. When we go back home this will be a memory. At least until the time for me to return.


    There''s just so much to do...


    "What are you thinking about?" Alex asks as we cuddle on the nket.


    "Just...everything. There''s just so much on my mind. How did my life get soplicated?"


    He pulls me in closer so that I''m lying against him. I can hear his heartbeat, a sound that grounds me in the now. Mine sinks up with his. I guess that''s how in tune we are.


    "I know."


    For a moment, I just stare at the moon. It''s so consistent, so unmoving. Regardless of what happens to me or any of us, it will still be here tomorrow, and the day after that. I try to takefort from that.


    I finally broach the painful subject on both our minds. "I''m sorry about Michael.” "Yeah..."


    "What did he say?"


    A feel Alex inhale deeply, then feel his chest sink as his breath is released. It is a


    sad, somber sound. "Well, I can say he''s optimistic for a dying man."


    #Chapter 99 A Hard Truth


    "I can''t even imagine what he''s going through."


    "Me, neither. I mean, he was at the peak of life, you know? It reminds me how fragile that bnce is."


    "How long do they think he has left?"


    "That''s anyone''s guess-a few weeks, a few months."


    I hesitate to ask my next question because I don''t know if in ready for the answer.


    "When will you have to be back?"


    When he doesn''t answer right away, I fear the worst.


    "I don''t think I''ll be leaving."


    I lean up and search his face for some hope. But there''s none there. "You won''t being with me?"


    He turns his head away. "If he dies and I''m not here...and we don''t know when that will be..."


    Iy back down. "I understand."


    I really do, but it makes me angry. I finally find my truth and my happiness-my one true love-and he''s getting ripped away from me? How is this fair? This can''t be how my story ends?


    This changes things. I had such ns... "Where does that leave us?"


    "We''re still fated...and you could always stay here until you''re ready to take your pack."


    "You know I can''t do that."


    Even though this conversation is easier because we don''t have to look each other


    in the eye, it''s still hard to say what I''m thinking.


    "What do you want, Cynthia?"


    "To be with you."


    "How do you see that happening? Right now?"


    "Well, you know I''m not ready to lead a pack."


    "Are you ready to be with me?"


    "I''m torn. I can''t leave my mother yet, you know that. I need to make everything fit


    in-both worlds together."


    "How? How will you do that?"


    "I started writing in this journal," I tell him. "It''s a way for me to work out my


    ideas....what''s on my mind," I exin.


    His tone bes chipper. "Do you write about me in it?"


    "Wouldn''t you like to know?"


    "Well, yeah... I would."


    "We''ll save that for another conversation."


    "Why? Is it x-rated?"


    I elbow him. "O," he cries out through hisughter.


    #Chapter 90: A Hard Truth


    "Seriously, though."


    "I know, I''m sorry. You were writing about me in your journal and..."


    Before I can get aggravated and sat something smart to him I stop myself. To be honest, I''d rather hear himugh than see the weight of the world wear him down.


    “Anyway...as I was saying." I nestle back into him so I can feel our hearts again. “I was moved to write my own story as a y. I think that is what I''ll miss the most when leave my old life."


    "Are we going to hold a y then?"


    "Uh-no. I want to continue with my ns to go to college. That''s what my mom expects, and afterward I can move to get a job.”


    "Why would you get a job?"


    "Oh, my pretty boy... I wouldn''t get a job, but that''s when she''ll expect me to


    move away."


    "And return here."


    "Exactly."


    "So... you''d be gone for what, four years?"


    "I know it sounds like a long time, but I would be back for summers."


    Alex doesn''t say anything for a moment.


    "Four years seems like a long time to wait."


    "I know. It seemed like a good idea when I thought you would be with me for a


    while."


    "I really wish I could be. I''m going to miss that life.”


    What do I say to that? I''m asking for some time left in a world he wants to be in


    but is being forced to leave. "I know. I can''t imagine it without you. But I still need


    it, to give me the time to create a natural separation from my human mother while giving me time to learn what I need to about my pack."


    "Hmmm...."


    "And don''t forget, they need to get to know me as well. I''m sure they''re not keen


    on a stranger-who just became a werewolf, mind you-taking charge. Not to


    mention I would just...flub shit up."


    He wraps his rms around me. "You''re so adorable."


    "What?"


    "I don''t think I''ve ever used the word ''flub'' before."


    "But seriously, Alex!"


    "Sorry-sorry! It does make sense, even if I don''t want it to "


    "Would you be willing to wait that long-for me?"


    "I love you. I''ll do whatever it takes."


    "I love you, too."


    Wey there a long time looking at the moon and listening to the water. I try to


    #Chapter 90: A Hard Truth


    moment to memory, and m feeling tender when Alex says


    "Though it will help if you give me your x-rated story to read while I wait."


    I can''t help butugh at his hopeless nonsense.