Lter thought that if Kieran hadn''t been there during that time, she might not have survived.
The flu hit her hard. The day she fell ill, her fever spiked and wouldn''te down. Shey weak in bed, unable to lift a finger.
She called Dorian, but Zara answered the phone instead. L couldn''t remember much of what she had said in her dazed state. She sent another messageter, but there was no reply.
She hadn''t reached out because she wanted him toe. She wouldn''t want him to risk catching the illness.
But being sick and possibly facing death in a foreign country, filled her with an overwhelmed loneliness. She just wanted to hear his voice, to feel somefort.
But there was nothing.
Kieran found out the next day and rushed over.
By then, she hadn''t had water all day.
She couldn''t eat either, not because she didn''t want to, but because she was too weak to move.
She was so sick that she could barely recognize anyone, yet she saw Zara''s post on SoulLink.
It was a photo of a man massaging her ankle.
Only a pair of hands were visible, but L instantly recognized them as Dorian''s.
There was a mole just above the webbing between his thumb and index finger on his left hand, clearly visible in the photo.
Looking back now, she realized that the post on SoulLink had been meant for her to see.
She closed her eyes, trying not to dwell on it. She was afraid that touching her old wounds would bring back painful emotions.
Dorian almost heartbroken and moved to tears when he heard her say "Who wouldn''t feel bad when they''re sick?" just now.
"I''m sorry, L, I really am. I didn''t know. If I had known, I would''ve been there."
In the past, just seeing him like this would have made L forgive him without hesitation.
But now, she justy quietly in bed. The cicadas in the Magnolia tree outside were buzzing incessantly. Their wings fluttered as they flew to a nearby, unnamed tree.
"You don''t need to feel bad. I''m not telling you this to make you pity me. I just want you to know that a long time ago, I had already begun building up disappointment in you," L said calmly.
She paused and took out the three beads she had picked up earlier. "The bracelet, it was just thest straw that broke us," she said.
She opened her palm, her fair skin as smooth as polished ivory, and the three sandalwood beadsy quietly in it.
Dorian''s gaze trembled. He grasped her hand tightly, enclosing the beads within her palm, as if any dy would let them slip away, along with her love.
"I love you," he said, his voice shaking. His eyes were filled with regret. "L, I
love you. I''ve only ever loved you, from the beginning to end. Zara and I, we never crossed any lines."
Maybe he had once been attracted to Zara, but he had never done anything to betray L.
They had never kissed or slept together.
L found it funny when Dorian said he and Zara never crossed any line.
Was he saying that it''s normal for men to be fickle? That as long as they didn''t end up in bed together, everything could be forgiven?
It was like asking whether emotional cheating or physical cheating was worse.
She couldn''t understand. Does betrayale in different degrees?
"From the moment I first met you, I really liked you. I imagined countless times what it would be like to grow old with you."
L frowned and pulled her hand away. She could still feel his warmth lingering on her skin, which made her feel extremely disgusted.
But years of good upbringing made her respond politely.
"You don''t need to tell me that. It''s not that I never loved you, but that love has long since faded to nothing."
Dorian felt like he was losing his mind. Then, L gently raised her hand and casually tossed the three beads toward the trash can. As they missed, they bounced on the floor a few times before slowly rolling to a stop by the wall in the
corner.
He suddenly remembered the day the bracelet had broken. L had squatted down to pick up the beads, her small figure crouched on the ground, looking so pitiful.
He had kicked one of the beads away back then, and it had bounced and rolled away just like this.