He held her hand, brushing his cheek against her palm. "I just wish you could forgive me, really."


    ra frowned, helping him sit up. "Z, you''re burning up. We need to get you to the hospital."


    With all the nonsense he was spouting, she worried the fever might really mess


    him up.


    He slumped against her. "No hospital, ra. Thirty-three times."


    "What?"


    Thirty-three times what?


    Her anxiety spiked as she touched his forehead again, worried the fever was affecting his mind.


    Then he gripped her hand, pressing it against his cheek. "That''s how many times you''ve wanted to kill me."


    ra''s heart skipped a beat, then sheughed softly. "You''re delirious. Get some sleep. If you''re still feverish when you wake up, we''re going to the hospital."


    By then, whether he liked it or not, she''d see him through it.


    Z went quiet for a few minutes, as if just realizing this wasn''t a dream.


    Every time he felt terrible, he''d dream of her walking through the door.


    He''d had the dream so many times, he sometimes couldn''t tell reality from fantasy.


    He closed his eyes, his throat working before he muttered, "I was just dreaming."


    ra grabbed a pillow and gently pushed him back down. "Rest."


    His arms snaked around her waist, pulling her down beside him.


    "Rest with me."


    The couch was wide enough, and as ray next to him, she could still feel the heat radiating from his body.


    She couldn''t sleep, her mind reying the doctor''s warning.


    Her hand drifted down, brushing against the bracelet he wore and the ring she''d given him.


    Z shifted closer, wrapping her in his arms, letting out a contented sigh as he drifted off.


    ra stayed awake until around five, hearing him stir beside her.


    She reached out, touching his forehead again; at least the fever had broken.


    "The doctor said you were thinking about taking some medication with side effects. I''m supposed to talk you out of it. What''s going on in your head?"


    She was straightforward, but he kept silent.


    ra suddenly sat up. "Z, I usually stay out of your decisions, but you can''t treat your body like this. Your health is already shaky. What am I supposed to do if something happens to you?"


    Her chest felt tight after she spoke.


    He was quiet for a few more moments, then suddenly grabbed her hand, cing a pill in her palm.


    "If you tell me not to take it, I won''t. But can you swallow this for me?"


    ra didn''t even ask what it was; she just popped it in her mouth without a second thought.


    Z''s eyes widened, and he quickly pinched her cheeks, forcing his finger into her mouth to pull the pill out.


    He was always careful with ra, even when things got rough, but now his grip left a red mark on her cheek, showing just how panicked he was.


    His fingers felt the wetness as he retrieved the pill.


    His gaze was intense and wild, staring at her without a word.


    ra noticed his anger, confused. "Didn''t you just tell me to take it?"


    His voice was rough, barely holding back. "Do you even know what it is?"


    "No."


    He didn''t say anything else, just clenched his fist, crushing the pill into powder.


    He turned away, breathing heavily, clearly shaken.


    ra moved closer, wrapping her arms around him.


    His chest still rose and fell rapidly. Her trust felt like a dagger because he knew just how wed he was.